Welcome to Season Three of the Jenni Carroll Perspective. Our theme this season will be purpose. “What is my purpose?” is a question many of us have, but not all of us are able to answer. In this episode we will explore the four principles that help us to define and understand our purpose. We will also look at strategies to connect with and fulfill our purpose, giving us a renewed excitement and satisfaction as to why we are here.
The first principle of purpose is that it is plural. Rather than having one purpose, we have many. Happily, we also have seasons of purpose, where we are given the opportunity to focus on one of more aspects of our purpose, without the pressure of addressing everything at once.
The second principle, not surprisingly, is that purpose includes service to others. There are obvious aspects to service such as the supportive roles we play in the lives of our family and friends. We also clearly see service in jobs that are considered “helping professions” but service can also be found in the attitude and perspective we bring to all of our interactions with others.
This truth is connected to the third principle of purpose which is based not on what we do, but on how we do it. When we understand that our purpose lies less in the actions we take and more in how we carry out our actions, we are enlightened to all of the manifestations of our purpose. Service isn’t just what we do, it is the way we embody an intention or attitude.
The most fundamental aspect of purpose, as well as perhaps the most surprising, is the responsibility to heal and grow within ourselves. It is our mission to identify and address the pain, trauma and wounding that comes with us into this lifetime. This requires not only our attention but a willingness to do the work. The ultimate goal is to heal so that we may grow as individuals and integrate with our soul.
When it comes to finding our purpose, we must first understand that there is no “purposelessness.” We are all here for a reason. There are also strategies available to support us in understanding and honoring our purpose. First, we must be willing to be present. Creating space from thinking mind thoughts and feelings gives us to access our Primary Awareness, the internal wisdom available to each of us. This wisdom will help us better understand ourselves as well as our purpose.
We can also employ our thinking minds to examine our fears, vulnerabilities and struggles. As we explore these aspects of ourselves, our purpose will more clearly be illuminated.
Working towards honoring our purpose is significant for all of us and better understanding this important aspect of our lives supports us in our ultimate goal.
Thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed the information presented in today's discussion, please consider subscribing to the Jenni Carroll Perspective.
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Welcome to the third season of the Jenni Carroll Perspective! Wow, I wasn’t sure I would get here, but ...here I am. Thank you to everyone who is listening now and for those of you who have continued to listen to support me in this very special project. The theme for this season is purpose. Purpose is one of those words that seems to be used in a way that feels a little cliché or schmaltzy even. Yet purpose does having both meaning and significance and when we fully understand what it is and how to honor it, we find a renewed excitement in what we are here to do. And who doesn’t want a little spiritual excitement in their life? Our exploration of this idea begins with an overview of what purpose actually is, all of the ways purpose can manifest, where and how we can find our purpose and also importantly, why we should care.
So, what’s your purpose? I’m sure you’ve considered this question at some point, maybe multiple times. But I think that for every one of us out there who can answer this question with confidence, there are many, many more of us who feel like honestly... we don’t have a clue.
Part of the confusion, I think, lies in not really having a clear understanding of what purpose is, or what it is supposed to be. We often put the idea of our purpose on a pedestal, believing that it represents an altruistic achievement or philanthropic endeavor, something that is somehow separate from our regular lives and instead requires focus and time outside of our day-to-day functioning... leaving us feeling that we are too busy to worry about our purpose at the moment, but once we have the time, we will figure it out and do something about it.
At the other end of the spectrum, I think purpose gets confused with responsibility. And this is understandable because responsibility is inherently part of purpose, for sure. Honoring the commitments we’ve made both to ourselves and others is inarguably part of our purpose. In fact just functioning on a daily basis, navigating the constant and unexpected obstacle course that is our life, definitely plays a role in why we are here.
Another aspect to what many of us understand as our purpose relates to the various roles we play or the hats we wear. Our job or our career tends to lead this list. We see our identity, and by default our purpose as intertwined with what we do. And yes, we can find purpose here too. Sometimes though it is easier for those who have a job that is naturally in service of others. Teachers, nurses, firefighters come to mind. Many of the individuals who hold these types of positions acknowledge that they not only feel satisfaction from their jobs, but also gain or honor their purpose in the process.
Finally, I often see people defining their purpose with the roles they play in the lives of others. Understanding that their purpose is to be a good mother, a good father, a good friend. And absolutely, there is definitely purpose to be found here... in our relationships, how we interact with others and what we bring to them.
So, much of what we naturally feel points to our purpose is on target, authentic. Yet, I think a full understanding, a definition of sorts, often alludes us. So, let’s take a little bit of a closer look.
I believe that there are four foundational truths when it comes to our purpose. And, the first principle or truth is that purpose is plural. We don’t have one purpose, we have many. I’m not sure if that takes the pressure off, or puts more on, but it definitely is the truth. What hopefully makes this less overwhelming is that there are seasons of purpose... times in our life where our focus is on a specific aspect of our purpose that we may work towards or fulfill and then ultimately shift to something else. I think this is really important, because it gives us a little wiggle room, a little flexibility. We are not expected to work on everything at once, and that’s okay. So if you have been looking for a magnificent, headline-grabbing purpose, you may be missing a bunch of other objectives, functions, missions or areas of focus that exist along-side or even in place of some ultimate quest.
In my own life, I am very aware of seasons of purpose. The purpose that has been one of the most important for my lifetime is being a mother. Being present for my kids when they were children was most definitely my priority and everything else took a back seat. Looking back, I am aware how different aspects of my life aligned in order for me to be able to honor this purpose to the fullest extent. First, was the relationship I have with my husband, who he is and what he offered that gave me the space and freedom to honor this purpose. The second was my choice of career and the flexibility and balance that it offered me. These two aspects of my life were present to support me in doing what I was here to do - at that time. I also fully acknowledge that these foundational cornerstones of support were blessings, acts of Divine Grace. I am very aware that all mothers are not afforded these types of support. Yet, I also believe that the universe will provide what we need and ask for, but first we must believe we are worthy of the gifts.
Having seasons of purpose is also about timing. I could not fulfill my purpose of being a mother, until I had children. Clearly obvious. Purpose is often found in how we address challenges that arise due to specific circumstances in our lives. We cannot work on the purpose until the circumstance presents itself. But, there is also a sneaky aspect to this, themes. I find there are themes to our purpose. A specific task is required of us throughout our life in different ways at different times, the thread of purpose connecting otherwise unrelated, seemingly isolated experiences. Mothering was clearly my purpose for many years with young and growing kids, yet as I look at my life as a whole, I see how the “mothering thread” came up both before I had children, and even now. In addition to continuing to be a mother to my young adult boys, the mothering thread appears in additional ways that I would have never expected.
The second foundational truth with regard to purpose is that it will absolutely include service to others in some form. This is probably not very surprising. But I think something to understand is how service actually manifests. It is not necessarily overt or evident at first glance. For example, as we discussed earlier, we often look to the roles we play to find our purpose and one of the major jobs we have in life, is just that, our job. It is fairly easy to see purpose in careers that are naturally helping professions. It is also fairly easy to see purpose in service to people who are close to us. No doubt being a parent is a constant state of service and sacrifice. Other close relationships also require us to give of ourselves on a regular basis. Honoring others through service sometimes requires prioritizing their needs or wants over our own. Marriage is a lesson in compromise and giving of ourselves. Consistently showing up for family and friends is also a genuine act of service.
But I think those of us in other sorts of jobs or career paths, can sometimes overlook part of our purpose because our work isn’t considered to be a service or helping profession. Unfortunately those in corporate America or sales or retail or any job that isn’t immediately illuminated as service, might dismiss their work as “purposefully deficient” or without greater purpose. And this is just not true.
Which takes us to the third principle of purpose which is... “it is not what you do, but how you do it.”
This truth is such a game-changer, and when we pay attention, it illuminates the many manifestations of purpose in our lives. While what we do matters for sure, what equally matters, or actually matters even more, is how we do it. Service isn’t just what we do, it is the way we embody an intention or attitude. We can be in a helping profession, but if we perform our job in a way that suggests judgment, impatience, or apathy rather than empathy, compassion and kindness then our purpose is probably not being honored. Yet, if we do other types of work, jobs that aren’t directly in service of others, purpose can be found when we approach what we do with integrity, responsibility and a heart-centered approach to those we interact with. We can serve others by being positive, kind, and forgiving when we manage, collaborate, engage or even pass them by in the hallway. And, even for those of us who rarely or never interact with others as a part of our work, we can also find service is doing our jobs to the best of our ability, mindfully meeting our role in whatever step that is needed to create or support in functioning something that will ultimately meet a need and be of service to someone somewhere.
How we do things is not limited to our jobs, of course. It applies to all aspects of our lives at all times. How we interact with our children, our spouses, friends, neighbors... people important to us and those that we will never know. Patience, kindness and compassion can be present in every interaction we have. And yet, none of us is perfect, we all have bad days, moody moments, errors and mistakes. And that’s okay. But fulfilling our purpose is in how we mostly show up, coming back again and again to embodying a sense of kindness in service to others.
So the last foundational principle of purpose might also be the most surprising. But it is also the most fundamental, the most far-reaching and incorporates all of the of the other parts of our purpose. The principle is that ultimately, our purpose is to heal and grow within ourselves. It is our mission to identify and address the pain, trauma, and wounding that comes with us into this lifetime. Wounding which is often manifested and compounded in our childhoods, and therefore requires not only our attention but a willingness to do the work to heal, so that we may grow as individuals and integrate with our soul. According to Gary Zukav, Authentic Empowerment is the alignment of the personality with the soul. In other words, we are here to work via our earthly personalities to become what we already are on a soul-level. We must work is to align our personalities with the beauty, love and grace of our soul. This is Authentic Empowerment and this is our purpose.
We are all born with wounding, wounding that can both begin to be healed in childhood, or it also unfortunately can be compounded. Either way, we are also born with gifts and skills to address our wounding and to heal. But, it really is up to us to do the work. And the work starts with understanding what our wounding even is. Wherever you notice vulnerability, wherever you notice fear, it will point to your wounding. The biggest challenges in your life, the circumstances that feel the most unfair or unjust, will point you to your wounding. Pay attention, listen, notice. And also, take heart, you are not alone. Like every single person alive on this planet, if you did not have wounding, you would not be here.
When it comes to finding our purpose, we must understand that first of all, there is no one here without purpose. There is no purposelessness. It does not exist. I have spoken to many people who felt a sense of sadness and frustration and sometimes even shame and guilt for not knowing their purpose or even believing that they had one. But those feelings are absolutely unnecessary because they are triggered by an untruth. We are all here for a reason. Whatever reason you think you understand, there is likely something more, something deeper. So many of us go through life without a real awareness of our purpose, perhaps that is a lesson in itself. But, understanding our purpose allows us to do the work. The more we get right now, the less we have to do later. And having a clearer sense of our purpose begins to bring meaning to the hardest parts of our lives. We no longer feel lost or empty or stuck unfairly in crappy circumstances. There is a reason for everything and our lives are a series of both obstacles and power sources to navigate and ultimately overcome.
So if we are ready to fully identify and understand our purpose, where do we start? There are several strategies to support us in this mission. First, is a willingness to “be present.” If we spend our days just doing... being lost in our thoughts and feelings while carrying out our responsibilities and tasks, it will be difficult to find the space for our purpose to be revealed. Instead, we must be willing to slow down, notice and create space. The goal is to cultivate a sense of awareness, of mindfulness. There is a difference between observing ourselves living, cultivating an awareness outside of our daily functioning, which can be thought of as being, versus just living our lives, merging with thoughts, feelings and actions, which is doing. Both are necessary to understanding and honoring our purpose. Doing is natural. Being takes work.
Creating space from our thinking mind, of course, gives us access to the deeper wisdom within us, our Primary Awareness. Primary Awareness is the innate wisdom always available to us, and is sourced from our deeper connection to the universe, to the Divine.
Let’s revisit the foundational principle of Primary Awareness for a moment. Primary Awareness has been given many names, perhaps most recognizably as consciousness, highest self, and soul. Primary Awareness is a part of us, but one that cannot be found on our physical bodies. And while it can be understood as part of our minds, it is a part of the mind that lies beyond our thinking brain and transcends our earthly personality. Unlike familiar thoughts and feelings, Primary Awareness is a calm and peaceful observer, separate from the ongoing narrative in our heads, yet always present.
Primary Awareness is an incredible source of insight, guidance, and wisdom that is not limited by the strengths or weaknesses of our personality. It truly is our connection to the Divine. According to the brilliant teacher Wayne Dyer, when we find harmony with the Divinity in us, our purpose will “chase us down.”
But our thinking minds are important too. We can use our thinking minds to explore as well as to carry out our purpose. If you are really interested in finding your purpose, I encourage you to start with a journaling exercise. At the top of your page, write the questions “What are my fears? Where are my vulnerabilities? What do I struggle with the most?” Once you have identified these things (and truly this is something that you can think about and consider many times over, adding to and adjusting your list), begin to notice how these feelings and circumstances show up in your life and how you choose to address them, the choices you make around them. Through journaling or another means of contemplation, explore how these challenges could be connected to an important part of your purpose. Examine how you might like to approach these challenges in a way that will help you heal and grow and transcend the challenges, suffering and pain of your past. And then, at a separate time, answer the questions “what brings me joy? Where and when do I feel at peace and in full alignment?” Purpose also includes the experience of joy. The feeling of joy illuminates the innate strengths that arm the personality with what it needs to accomplish its goals.
Finally, another journaling exercise or contemplation is to notice and consider the attitude and perspective you bring to your life. How do you approach your responsibilities? Your relationships? Are you operating from a place that allows alignment with the love and beauty of your soul? Or are there places where your personality has gone rogue, acting in a way that is disconnected from your true and greater self?
My loving suggestion is to notice your purpose. Can you shed more light on this profound and enduring principle and find satisfaction and excitement in working to achieve what you are here to do?
Thank you so much for joining me today. I hope something in this episode has inspired or encouraged you to find your unique, beautiful purpose.
You are light and you are love.
