Honey, Let’s Do a Podcast!
Come hang out with Enrique and Linda as they provide next level insight to topics every household in America goes through. The couple drops their unique perspective on parenting, trending stories and personal interests every week.
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Honey, Let’s Do a Podcast!
Honest Conversations on Labor, Delivery and Adjusting to Life After Birth
Ever wondered what goes on behind the curtain leading up to birth? Join us on this enlightening journey, where we pull back the veil and reveal our own personal birth story. We start with Linda's decision to be induced, the paperwork, and the insurance processes, all while giving you a sneak peek into what to pack in preparation for the big day. Our conversation is raw and real, filled with insights that we hope will prove beneficial to many.
Having a baby is a life-changing event, but what about the nitty-gritty details of labor and delivery? That's what we dive into next, discussing everything from the supplies you'll need, what the hospital provides, to what to expect during the process. We also shed light on postpartum challenges like bathroom problems, tearing, and jaundice in newborns. Hear about how we navigated these challenges and what we learned from the experience.
Lastly, we expose the reality of adjusting to parenthood - it's not all sunshine and rainbows! We explore the lifestyle changes, the physical transformation, and the pinnacle of exhaustion that comes along with the beautiful chaos of becoming a parent. We don't shy away from topics like postpartum depression, feelings of isolation, and the barrage of advice that new parents often receive. Tune in to hear about our experiences, our struggles, and our triumphs in the hope that it offers some solace for those navigating similar paths.
Hello everybody. Today we're going to be talking about part two in our series in parenting, but first honey let's do a podcast. Hello everyone and welcome back to Honey likes to a podcast. I am your host, enrique, and this is my lovely wife.
Linda:Linda.
Enrique:And today we're going to be talking about part two in our series on parenting. Now, to go back a little bit of what we did in part one. That was about our troubles getting pregnant and our infertility issues, so if you haven't taken a sound to that one, make sure to go listen to that one. It was pretty good and I think it was going to be beneficial to a lot of people. Now to go back and what we're going to be talking about today. Today's subject is going to be on our postpartum depression, which is a subject that Linda really wanted to dive deep into. And also, you know our birth story, you know going back from when we went to the hospital, all that happened, and then, obviously, finishing with the postpartum depression part. Now, before we get started, do you need to say something, linda, or do you just want to go?
Linda:right to it. No, let's go ahead and start it.
Enrique:Okay, so let's just start with a little bit of a back story on the birth story. Okay, let's just give you a little bit of a background on that. Let's bring it back from the top. We're going to be talking about a couple of days before or prior to going to the hospital. So for us, you know how you normally when, when you have a due date and the doctor tells you this is going to be, you know, your due date is X, Y and C. For us it was April 21st of 2022.
Enrique:And you know you're supposed to more or less around that time. You can basically go to the doctor at any moment and are you to the hospital? Your water broke, x Z X Z. You have to go in there and you know it's basically it's waiting, it's time to.
Enrique:It's a waiting moment, but if it can happen and it's time to you know to do the birth, well, for us, we basically and I think for Linda, she basically did not want to wait past that period, because you know how normally, if your due date comes and naturally you don't have any contractions or nothing's happening where you're going to get birth, then you can just maybe go a week after that or a couple of days afterward and you know you're very close, but you went past the due date and you might have to wait an extra week or an extra couple of days or maybe even more than a week before you start getting contractions and you know you got to go to it.
Enrique:Well, basically, linda told the doctor that you know if it gets to that point then I prefer to be induced and you know I just want to have the baby when it's maxed the due date, right.
Linda:Yes, that's correct, and I think the biggest reason was because baby keeps growing and because of my age, I'm right at the borderline between what it will be considered a high risk pregnancy in the sense of age. And just to explain a little bit of what Enrique was saying is that when you get pregnant, the doctor gives you a due date, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you are going to deliver it that day. Naturally speaking, your body will tell you when your actual delivery will be, and that doesn't necessarily will match your due date. So that's what Enrique was mentioning. My concern was because I was in a high age well, not super high, but I was 34, 35, I think.
Linda:I think I was still 34.
Linda:34, yeah, borderline with 35. At 35, you are considered a high risk pregnancy. So I was right there, at that limit, and I didn't want it to put more pressure, because I know the more time, the bigger the baby gets, and when you are towards the end of the pregnancy the baby grows faster. So the baby grows, you know, larger amounts, not just a little bit. So I didn't want it to continue having a pregnancy if I didn't have to. Because of my situation, I was able to choose if I wanted to have my delivery at that specific due date and that's exactly what I did. I requested that to the doctor. It was okay, the insurance was okay with it, so everything was good and that's why we were able to do it. So what happened was that we had to do some paperwork to make sure that all the documentation and paperwork was done and to pay, of course, because it's a doctor.
Enrique:So basically, what you have to do is that a couple days or the day prior or two days prior to your due date, you have to basically go to the hospital and they kind of do a blood work and they check you in. Basically, you're already pre-checking in so that when that happens you already get your room.
Linda:You just get there and they take care of it.
Enrique:You got a room design, you already know where you're going. You don't have to then deal with all that as you're there or as you're getting there. So you're basically going a little bit ahead and in our case, since it was induced, that means that the due date, april 21st, came and nothing happened, no contractions prior. So that means that the night of the 20th, which is the night before the due date, we basically checked into the hospital. We had our stuff. I think we might just go a little bit over what things you might want to bring. So maybe Linda can explain for the woman's part. I'm going to go to say the guy's part. For us. It's not you don't got to bring a lot of stuff. It's basically almost like you're staying in a hotel. So you're basically going to bring, obviously, clothes pack up with like maybe one or two days Maybe, because you probably will go out at some point to get food and to buy stuff. So you will be maybe going in and out. Linda or the woman won't be really moving in and out of the hospital. She'll probably just have the robe that they give you in the hospital and you'll probably be with that for a couple of days until you have to leave, but you will be going in and out and you will be probably having to go get guests if they're coming to visit. And you got to go get food, you got to go to the cafeteria, you got to go this, you got to do that, you might have to go talk to nurses or to doctors, so you will. You will need at least two or three sets of clothes, maybe depending on you want to shower a couple of times or not, or what was your preference. Obviously you would need snacks, so I would have snacks on the back in case you know, when you guys are going through it, somebody gets hungry. You don't have to go out. Maybe you know you're right in the thick of things, of contractions and you don't want to really leave the side or go out of the room at that point. So you have something to eat. It's better, obviously, drinks water, any other drinks if you want another type of drinks.
Enrique:But also you, depending on what you're doing, also check with your hospital if you're able to record, because I did check and basically they didn't want me to record anything of the birth. I could record prior to and afterwards, but they didn't want me to recording the doctor or the hospital. They don't want me recording at the birth moment. Maybe you have luck in and your hospital lets you. So if that's the case and you check with your hospital and they do, you might want to bring your. If you have cameras and stuff, you want to bring that. If not, you can always use your phone. You know you can just record with your phone. But if even that, you know, just bring your. Don't forget your charging cables. You know, if you're going to bring entertainment, maybe you're going to bring a laptop, maybe you're going to. You know you're basically in charge of those things. You know entertainment, snacks, I don't know that, that's sort of stuff, but that's basically the guy stuff. And then for the woman, I mean Linda can kind of go through it.
Linda:Well, I actually have two sections. I have my section and I have the baby section and the first and foremost, the most important information that you need to bring is the documentation you need to bring the birth plan and you need to bring. I think I need to bring like licenses, stuff like that. So there's some documentation that your doctor will guide, you will tell you exactly what you need to bring. That for sure you need to bring. That that's the most important thing and, if I will say that, and the clothes that you will take the baby out of the hospital. Also, you need to have the car seat. You cannot take out the baby without the car seat.
Enrique:Yes, so before you continue in the part of the car seat, make sure that again check with your hospital, because sometimes the hospital requires you to have a like a Safety check of the car seat.
Linda:Yes.
Enrique:Because ours didn't really ask me for it.
Linda:But they did request it.
Enrique:But they requested but they didn't ask me before the baby left. But some hospitals ask you to show them, like from a firefighter or a police station or whatever, like a safety check that your car seat is installed correctly that it works perfectly every yada yada, all that stuff.
Enrique:So make sure, if your hospital requires it prior to leaving with the baby, that you do it. Also, make sure you're familiarized with your car seat, because sometimes they can actually a nurse can go with you With the baby and they want to check that you know you put them, you know you place them right and you know you know how to put it in the car seat and etc. So basically, what we sometimes did is we we had like a little teddy bear that was almost the size of a baby and we were using that to practice a couple times. You know, it's really, it's a few times, it's pretty easy.
Linda:It's not rocket science.
Enrique:So you'll get it really fast. But you know, just be familiarize it with it so that when you have to leave you're not like, okay, so where does this thing go? Okay, where did we put the baby at? Okay. So you know, you're not like that, you're a little more familiarized with everything.
Enrique:But again, remember, check to see if your hospital requires a safety check prior to leaving. Either way, I would suggest you guys do it, just so you have peace of mind that the car seats right is installed correctly. Even though a lot of times nowadays the car, the modern car seats are so advanced that it's pretty, it's really dummy proof to do it. But still, I would probably just check because, remember, your newborn baby will be going in the car and yet, knock on wood, nothing happens. Whatever you do get and let's, let's say you have a bad luck, you get into an accident, you want to make sure that you know that's everything safe there because you know you just get the baby. But yeah, again, that's basically what you need to know in regards to the car seat.
Linda:Yeah, so we actually got ours inspected by fire departments, so and yeah, that was definitely checked. But I believe the police can also do do an inspection and they can also install it themselves. I think my every can install ours.
Enrique:Yeah, and then I installed it and the police check, the firefighters check that it was correctly. I think you took it to check. Yeah, I did, I did.
Linda:Okay, but if you don't know and you are not that crap, or they're not well aware of how to install them, or maybe you just don't- feel comfortable.
Enrique:You just prefer to your hundred percent. Sure you prefer somebody else who does this? Professional or somebody who's having to safety check these things for them to install it, and maybe you just prefer to do that. Yeah because they're going to do it. If you go anywhere, any of those places, they'll do it for free. You know they just they just install it. Yeah that's it.
Linda:So, besides those things, which is the paperwork, the clothes that you are going to get out and the baby is going to get out of the hospital, and the car seats, I don't think you really truly need anything else. Everything that is about the care of the baby and the care of the mom is going to be done in the hospital. However, there are a few things that you prefer to get them yourself. For example, I got like some is like a water brush or something that will help clean the area. The hospital provide one is not very good, so I wanted to have my own.
Enrique:Is that the one that has the curve?
Linda:Yes, it's like a shower or water manual water shower.
Enrique:Isn't that they had a name, the petty.
Linda:I think it's like petty something.
Enrique:OK but it's basically, instead of using the little bottle that you throw water out, this one is has like a little curve, so it's easier to apply.
Linda:I think it's called a petty bottle.
Enrique:Yeah.
Linda:And I mean this information is a little bit old, so I need to refresh my mind.
Enrique:And I would suggest you guys check. One thing that helped us with all this stuff is we started watching a bunch of videos and searching information about things you might need and you know objects you want to have at the birth, prior to birth, that things that would help you. A lot of it you end up not needing. But there's a couple things that are really helpful are really a knock in the park there, like some of them are a home run, so that bottle was good.
Linda:The bottle was good. The diapers there are diapers specifically for delivery and those can hold a lot of blood. And I'm telling you, once you have your delivery, you are the female force is going to be lead a lot for a full month. I'm not joking, a full month. You're going to be bleeding and not a little bit. This is not the regular period. This is just like 10 times more. It's just a lot, of, a lot of blocks, especially the first week.
Linda:So you will need it. This is a little bit graphic, but it's needed to be said. So you need that kind of like huge diapers. I think mines are from always. I don't have them with me anymore, but they were very helpful. What the hospital give you is a pad very uncomfortable and chunky pad and disposable panties. That's very inconvenient. In fact, the pad rolls and gets out of the way, and then you ended up ruining the sheets. So the diapers are way better. I don't think you want to have clothes for the days that you are there, with the exception of the day that you have to leave.
Linda:Because everything will get ruined. You don't want to ruin your own clothes. When you get there they put you in a little hospital gown.
Enrique:Just stay with the hospital gown.
Linda:I know it's not pretty, but it will get messed up, so just stay with that. In the meantime, I unfortunately take pictures with that. I like to take care of myself, so I brought my makeup and that definitely helped me. I washed my hair. My hair was clean, I was very clean. I want to make sure that I was clean as possible before that delivery, because I was not sure if I was going to be able to shower right away or how it will go. I didn't shower for the first 24 hours. I had to wait a little bit to be able to get a shower.
Enrique:After we talked a little bit about what you guys need to bring, let's give you a rundown of what happened. We get there at the night of the 20th. They start giving Linda the pitosin, which is that pill that starts making you have contractions. The contractions will cost you to dilate what's the number you have to get to 10 centimeters. Then you're ready to deliver. I think those contractions start in a wide time frame. At the beginning, it's like between each contractions there's a lot more time. As you get closer, the contractions are more frequent.
Linda:More frequent are more intense.
Enrique:Yes, Am I correct?
Linda:Yes, it starts slow and you don't feel as much pain. It's like a little something is going on there. Then it starts increasing slowly. I'm telling you this is slowly. It takes a lot of hours. I heard that some people Get this done in three hours, but there's other people that get it done in like 30 hours. It's just yeah it varies. In my case was in the middle and you.
Enrique:You started it, the. They started giving you the pitosin. Was it on the 21st or was it at night of the 20th?
Linda:I think it was a 9 pm Under 20.
Enrique:So that's when they started giving to you. Yeah because I remember you were able to sleep that night.
Linda:Yes, I was able to sleep and they wanted me to sleep because they wanted me to.
Enrique:Rest prior to the. Yeah, they wanted me to have a hard day the next day.
Linda:Have as much energy as possible for when the time actual come to push, because that's when the energy will go really, really, really fast. Because you are pushing, and you when I'm saying pushing, this is just insane. There's no other pain in the world like that. I'm sorry man's out there that you think everything is very hard for you. No, there's nothing like pushing a baby.
Enrique:And especially in your case with that what we're gonna talk about that in a second, but basically. So they started giving her that. You know, the 21st, we get into 21st and she starts feeling a little stronger contractions. You know things. Just things are starting to spike up. So then Linda decides that she wants to have an epidural. So the epidural is and they inject in the spine and it's to basically numb the area from waist down.
Enrique:Yes, yes so basically you're not, it's like basically you're not feeling, it's like kind of an anesthesia For that region, but you can still push and stuff. So it's not like they sleep, they just asleep right. You still can push and you still can do stuff. You just don't feel the pain, or At least it diminishes the pain quite a bit. But this is part one of the things that we had an issue with that it wasn't as straightforward because for Linda, when they, when they did the epidural, it didn't actually properly work. So, yes, it relieved there at the beginning a little bit, but then she started feeling pain again. So I think the doctor actually had to come in again and do a second round of an epidural.
Linda:Yeah, so what happened? And this is again something that varies from one person to the other and this is what's my case, and it's unfortunate, but it is what happened. So when they give you, they put you the what's in it again epidural the epidural.
Linda:They put you that in the spine, in the back. You don't even feel it because you have enough pain already. So I, for for me, was nothing at all, even though it's a very large needle. So when they did that the beginning I was fine. But they give you up like a button, and and and you can press if you need to have more and it's like cuz you, you right, I remember now, with the button you basically inject more.
Linda:Yes. So if you need more because it's bothering you, you just press the button and and that should take care of the pain pretty much. But in my case I keep pressing, pressing, and pressing, and pressing and it was not going away. The pain keeps going, increasing, and I was like, oh, this is normal, because obviously it's my first pregnancy, I don't know. But then the nurses around me, they were looking at me like, mmm, this is not normal, we should call somebody. And then eventually I got the anesthesia again.
Enrique:So then it's the second time it it worked a little better.
Linda:It. It did work because you started Feeling less.
Linda:Yes after the second time yes, it did work better, but it didn't work Like for other people, like I guess my body was not reacting Accordingly how it typically works. I guess that that's the proper terminal terminology. So by the time that I got to 10 centimeters and it was time to push, oh man, I Think by the time that you are eight centimeters, you're already like almost screaming Get this baby out, and I think I mentioned that multiple times get the baby out. I mentioned at some point do the C-section, take it out. I was. I was pretty much done Around eight centimeters, nine centimeters, it was just too much.
Enrique:She was about to do the C-section. She's like.
Linda:I wanted this C-section at that point because the amount of pain was too much and I Could not handle as much pain. But I don't even know how I did it, to be honest. But then you just push and, push and push, and the way that they do it is that you have to hold to yeah, but you push for like 10 seconds, was it right?
Enrique:Yeah so they count with you like One yeah to second and then push when you want to they push, and then they start counting.
Linda:Yeah, so they want you to keep pushing three for like 10 seconds or something.
Enrique:Yeah and you take a deep, they you take a couple breath and then go again, push for 10, one, two, three and Then again. It's like you do that like two or three times and then you take a break and Then, after the break, they, you know you go again and you start do it three more times.
Linda:Yep.
Enrique:But I think that's how it goes and I and they usually wait because they're monitoring. They're monitoring her, you know they they monitor in a monitor and they have these things where they can see when the contraction is going to hit. So they usually wait for a big contraction and that's when they want you to push right During the contraction.
Enrique:Yes so they usually wait for okay, it's coming, it's coming, get ready. Get ready. One, two go, and then you know, and they're waiting for that contraction to kick in, and then boom, that's when they want you to push, because usually those contractions last for like a minute, right. Yes that's why they they do the push for like three times or 10 seconds.
Enrique:Yes because they want to maximize that, that contraction moment, then I think the next contraction usually happens Three minutes after or something like that, two minutes after. So then they wait. You wait like two or three minutes until the other contraction hits.
Linda:And then you are. I mean you need to calm yourself and try to stay relaxed so you can concentrate in your breathing and then be able to push. Now the problem with that is that 10 centimeters going out there it is very hard to concentrate. You have so much pain that you cannot even think and and and that's why Enrique maybe will talk about the actual delivery, because I don't remember much. Actually the amount of pain was huge. I think.
Linda:I think I saw Enrique like going Not or something, I don't know I wasn't, but I didn't, I didn't look.
Enrique:I was looking at you, but I wasn't looking at what's happening down there.
Linda:How was my face?
Enrique:I don't I, because I know you were just completely worn out at the end, but so the baby got born. You know, they placed her in the. They clean her up, all that stuff they put in like a little table and they wrapped around, they put it in the how do you call it? The? The swaddle a swaddle and a swaddle and then they give it. They gave it to you, but at that moment you were so worn out I don't even think you. You realized you had the baby.
Enrique:I really don't remember much I was very. And then they put it next to the.
Enrique:I think they, you know, I don't know if they clean her again. No, no, no right, they just clean her up there and then they swaddle, they bring it to you. At that point you were like dead, so you weren't really, I don't think you were even paying attention to what was going on. And then they just, I think they put her. You know, they got to measure, they got to measure her, they got to wait her. I think they do. They run some small tests quickly. They take like some I don't know if it's right there and there, but they do take some like blood from her, from like the toes or something. And then they just put her again. They put her in like a little incubator next to the.
Linda:But I saw you guys taking pictures with her.
Enrique:Well, you can take pictures at that point, but we weren't picking her up and stuff, I was just taking pictures.
Linda:Oh, okay.
Enrique:Of the moment we did take more pictures more than next. After that night, the next day, that's when we were taking more pictures, but basically that night, was it that night that she stayed? Yeah, is that night that she stayed in a different room?
Linda:Yes.
Enrique:Cause they had asked us if, if we wanted to, you know, to sleep that night, and then she could stay in like a nursery or something and then see what stayed there, and then we were asleep, and then the next day they would bring her back, and I think that's what we did, but it was funny because nobody could actually sleep because they said this to Linda oh, so yeah, we'll do this, so you can. You know, you have a little more more sleep and you have a little more energy for tomorrow, since you had a tough day. Yada, yada. And then every like hour they would go by the room to check something. Yeah, oh, we just want to make sure that you have your blood works right. Oh, we just want to make sure that your temperature is right. Oh, we got to check for oxygen, whatever it is, I don't know. They were like checking all the time.
Linda:I was having a huge problem with going to the bathroom.
Enrique:Do you? Remember so they had to do like a stick, like a tube or something, so that you would pee straight into that.
Linda:Yeah, I couldn't. I was so swollen down there it was pretty much destroyed down there that I could not. I could not pee. So yeah, they have to put I don't know a half or something.
Enrique:Yeah, it's like something where a tube where the pee just goes straight into, like a bowl or something.
Linda:Yeah, so they did that. It was supposed to be for one day, but I still couldn't go to the bathroom, so I had to do it for two days.
Enrique:But that's one of the reasons that you had to stay an extra day. Yeah, because they couldn't give you, they couldn't give you discharge from the hospital, because you couldn't go to the restroom.
Linda:You had to go to the restroom.
Enrique:You had to at least go to the restroom once.
Linda:No three times.
Enrique:Oh, three times okay.
Linda:Yeah, that was the problem that I had after birth and also I didn't tear because my doctor actually did a small incision and that was enough. Also, I did prepare for the delivery. I went to the gym since I knew I was pregnant. Oh, the wheel till the end. So I trained my body and did a lot of exercises to have enough strength in the lower pelvic area or things called the some ground floor or something like that Pelvic floor, that's the name of it. So I want to make sure that I have enough strength. So, because I was horrified with the whole tear situation and I trained to make that area as strong as possible and that's why I did not tear. But I did have a small incision that my doctor did. I did have small, little broken sections, but they were not considered tears A few small but inside when the baby was coming out, but nothing in the actual area that usually there is a tear. So that's also something that might be helpful. Just train your body. Especially do exercises that are related to the pelvic floor, because that do help.
Linda:And there are different kinds of tears Tear one, tear two, three and four. Number four is the worst and three is also pretty bad. Number one and two are the best ones. Most cases is two or three. So be aware of that information as well, because tears are not fun and you can get infected and stuff like that, so it's better to not have it in the first place.
Enrique:And so to like finish and wrap this up about the bird story, when the baby was born, one of the things that did happen that we you know it was a little bit of a inconvenience, but apparently it's pretty normal or it's not abnormal for this to happen in babies. Our baby was born with jaundice, or she didn't have a super amount of jaundice, but it did have jaundice apparently. And that's when you have a slight yellowish pigmentation or discoloration in the skin. So you look, your skin looks a little more yellowish and that's because you have an excess of bilirubin in your blood. And apparently she did have this to the doctors, or you know, the nurses took her to this place where they did a phototherapy and that's a treatment for that type of thing, which is that they do a. There's a treatment with a special type of light, okay, and they exposed the baby to this light and it's to help, you know, reduce the levels. And I think you, they basically cover her eyes with a little wrap because I went down there with her that night to see where they were taking her and stuff and they wrap, they put a little little part in your eyes so it doesn't hit your eyes, and then they, but they have their. Basically they have your naked, they have the baby naked, just taking in that light, and they usually do this for like at least ours was there for like the whole night and they just exposed you as much light as possible and this basically it's makes it easier for the liver of the baby to break down and remove that bilirubin from the baby's blood. But that's about it. I mean, after that the jaundice levels came back normal and then you know, after that it's just regular sunlight or the regular just exposing to the sun will just also level things out.
Enrique:But sometimes that can happen and it's not that abnormal, for so if your baby does look a little more jealous when she's born or he's born, then it probably has this and but don't be freaking out, or whatever it's, it's normal, like it's not that, it's not like anything's wrong with it. It's just, like I said, an axis of bilirubin in the blood and I think after that I mean basically, like Linda said, we had to stay an extra day. We had to stay an extra day because of she couldn't really pee by herself and but after that she kind of was able to pee three times. They did discharge this, I think it was. We stayed there two nights. On the third day we were discharged and that's the day we you know we we had the car seat we take the baby.
Enrique:That's when you really, when you're taking it home, a lot of people that's when they want to, you know, put some pretty clothes on the baby or whatever, because you're going to take some photos because you're getting discharged and you're going home with the baby. We had a set of clothes for the baby to leave the hospital and had her clothes and you know, but after that was just we went to home. We went to you take her home. And that's when the real fun starts, when you take her home, because that's when you don't have no more. You know, at the hospital you had the nurses helping you, you had the doctors helping you. You got 24, seven. They were checking you all the time. But now, when you get home, you know, things get real when that baby starts crying.
Linda:No nurses.
Enrique:You're like what the hell's going on? How I'm going to take care of this and nobody's, you know, nobody's going to be there to tell you, hey, it could be this, it could be that. And you're like, oh, it doesn't stop crying. I'm, I'm tired, I want to sleep, but the baby doesn't stop crying. Then you're going to be like, oh, this ain't as simple as I thought.
Linda:No.
Enrique:You know and then, uh, this is where the where the fun begins, what you get. The good thing is you do get a lot as the time goes. You do get a lot easier at understanding and managing it because you learn, you're learning all the time what the baby likes, what it doesn't like, signs that he gives you that it could be this or it could be that you start understanding when it's hungry, when it's wants to poop, or when he's pooped or any P, or when you either change the diaper because you know you're, you're just getting, you're getting the cues and you're getting more familiarized with it. But at the beginning is you know it's a whole like you just don't what you're like, what the hell's going on.
Enrique:You're like what's going on, and specifically when you know the baby doesn't sleep at the beginning. The babies don't sleep for a lot of time, they sleep all the day, but they wake up every two to three hours mostly, and then, as soon as the baby wakes up, it's not that it wakes up and is there, no, it starts crying as soon as it wakes up. And the thing is that at that time, what, the what? The really early stages, newborn and all that? Basically, they wake up because they're hungry every two to three hours. That's what happens. You just want to eat their eating constantly. So you have to feed him, right Is every two, three hours you have to feed him.
Enrique:If you're breastfeeding, basically you got to get up every two to three hours to you know, give him breast, give him their the breast, give him breast milk. Or if you're not doing it straight up, you got to pump and then given the breast milk, pumping.
Linda:That's even worse, and if not, then you just have to get the formula and given the formula every two to three hours.
Enrique:It is what it is. I mean, if you are doing breast, breast milk, and you're, you know you're doing that. There's a whole store and other challenges that could occur, cause, um yeah, giving breast could be. For some people it's really simple, for other people's is a pain in the ass. So if you're one of the lucky ones that's really simple, then a congrats, great You're. Actually. It's much better than giving him, than giving the baby formula, that's for sure, cause you're giving him your antibiotics and all that stuff. But it's only if it's simple. A lot of people have issues, and Linda was one of them, where it wasn't that it wasn't as straightforward to give them breast milk and she was still did it for a good amount of time because, again, you want to try to give the best to the baby.
Enrique:But Sometimes, like I know that if she were to have a second one, she would not do it again like Straight up, she would just do formula from the start because she doesn't want to go through that again. That's why you have to understand your body to each to each their own decision. It's completely fine for, like my mom, us and my two sisters were three, were two, three siblings. We're all Formula. None of us got breast milk and everybody's completely fine.
Linda:I think there was something that happened during that same time. There was a huge recall of formula. Do you remember that?
Enrique:Oh yeah, the From the was a similar. I think similar yes.
Linda:It was a huge one and similar is the biggest company about formula.
Enrique:There was also a shortage shortage of formula.
Enrique:It was a huge Sort of so it was because of that, because of that similar thing. The problem is that they closed down the factories at that around that time. So they shut down some big similar factories. So obviously, since that's one of the largest brands that does formula Well, you could guess there's a shortage of formula. Yes, so I already just buying formula left and right and you couldn't, like I remember that they were like limiting the purchase to one or two per person, and you know, and you barely Were able to find one. So when you found one or two, you went like one or buy all two or three of them, but obviously You're not the only one in that boat. So so you know it's it's obviously understandable that they want to limit the amount so that everybody can get their first share at that.
Linda:Yeah or first chance at getting one and I do remember during that first week that we Were home, my milk was not there yet, so I was. I needed to give them formula after I do the breast milk, because I was not producing enough. It was barely producing Cholesterol, and cholesterol is very important for the babies because that they have huge amounts of vitamins and Antibiotic Antibiotic and it helps a lot of the baby. But I was not producing milk, so we had to give them formula and what apparently happened was my, my baby, was having a lot of diarrhea and we couldn't understand why. And Okay, we are first parents, so we thought that was normal.
Linda:But then we have the in, I have the in-laws here in the house, and she was like that doesn't seem normal that the baby have a little diarrhea, and we were trying so hard For the baby not to get a diaper brush because it's the first week they are born. So it turned out that the formula that we were given to the baby was a recall formula. So it was. It was a bad formula. So then, after we finished with that formula, we make sure that the other formulas they were not recall and that's how the diarrhea Was gone. But it took us like a few days to figure that out. I mean the all, everything is new and we were. I was exhausted, I Think I still exhausted, and my baby's 70 months right now you know nowadays everything's pretty much.
Linda:Yeah, that was a very specific situation, a very specific time. I think we got it in the hard way yeah and and.
Enrique:Again, you just do what's more easy, was more comfortable for you. If your baby's taking the breast milk, fine, then you really don't really have to worry about a lot because you don't have to worry about buying formula. You're just producing milk. The problem is not only is, is, if the baby is, is attached, is latching and all this stuff to the breast, and you know you don't have any issues there. It's not. That's not the only problem. The only problem you might have is that you don't produce enough milk. So if you're not, if you're like a really low producer, then you're gonna have to supplement that with formula. So you're gonna still need the formula regardless if you give him breast milk. So again, there's a lot of factors that go into this. But you know, just do what you feel like it's better and like it's easier for the, for you, for the baby or already and also you need to be aware, milk, the breast milk is grease, like fat, has fat, and so everything is warm inside.
Linda:But my particular cases I have small veins, so also the veins in my breast. They are smaller than typical or Thinner than typical and I was getting a lot of clocks. So that was the main reason why it was so hard for me to do the breastfeed, even though I almost did it for six months. It was very, very painful, you can get Infections because of it and it can get really, really bad and really, really painful very, very fast. So that was For some females. That doesn't happen, but honestly, most of them will go through some kind of infection when they are doing breastfeed. Specifically First-time moms, because we don't know is just a lot of misinformation or we just don't know, and so so that just be aware that that might happen.
Linda:The best way to Get it out, to get the infection out, is to pump as much as possible or or Put the baby to suck as much as possible or have it as much as possible with you. That reduces the amount of Infections. But sometimes I will get clogged, even though I will pump and pump and pump and I will just getting too many clocks. I Will get three in one day, the next day I will get two more. It was just abnormal and it was like that for a very long time. I remember one time you I was showering because our hot three clogs and it was like 12 hours already and the clocks were there and they were not going anywhere and I had a lot of pain and he and I was crying. I was desperately crying in the bathroom, in the shower, trying to to Open the clock, and he got in and I think you were. He was concerned. He was like are you okay? Or something like that.
Enrique:Yeah, I think in that time the easiest way to get a clock, get a clock out of the way.
Enrique:Yeah, it's, if your baby can suck the milk out, because your baby's suction is really strong. So any type of clock you have, she'll probably, you know, get rid of the clog. So that would be the easiest. The problem that we had is that Victoria didn't Really like to latch into the breast. She didn't really want to suck the breast, she liked the bottle. Yeah, so it was really hard for Linda because you know we couldn't really use her. Which is the easiest way and the most effective way not to have a clog is if you just have the baby, take milk directly from the breast, because if there's any type of clog, she'll just, you know, suck it right off and then again, you don't you just not getting clogged because You're constantly You're not, you're constantly giving the milk and I think that might be my, my fault now that I'm thinking about it, because One week, because she was sucking perfectly well, she was born.
Linda:Do you remember that she had a latch perfectly. Well the very first time. So she was very good at the very beginning, but then later I decided that I wanted to pump instead of having her directly, and and maybe that was the reason that later on she didn't want it to last anymore.
Enrique:Yeah, because obviously when you pump that means you're gonna give him a bottle, so she just got used to the bottle.
Linda:Yeah, after that, and the bottle is easier than than sucking From from the breast.
Enrique:Yeah, way easier because the breast she has to struggle way more to get milk. Yes, well, there's in the bottle. She's like all this easy, you know she just grabs milk easy. So she just gets used to that. She just if she tries to give her the breast and she's like and nothing comes out, she's like what the hell is this? So she's gonna start crying and she's like give me the, give me the other stuff, that it's easy. So you know that's one of the pain and stuff you have to go through. But that's more or less. We want to talk about it. That's more or less the birth story, because after this is just having her at home and, in this case, used to all the different things that change and all the things you got to get accustomed to as a new parent. But now basically I don't know. Linda, you wanted to talk about that second subject.
Linda:Yeah, this second subject. I'm going to make it brief because I know we have talked a lot of things, so when?
Enrique:So we're talking now about we're going to talk about postpartum right yes, postpartum depression yeah, just continue.
Linda:Okay. So once you deliver, everything changes, especially for us. We have a lifestyle. I think we still do have a comfortable lifestyle, but before we had the baby, everything was like. I had so much time available. I can, you know, go and have a nice shower, relax, wash my hair, it was everything calm, my house was pristine, clean. All the time. Everything was like very, very, very nice and I had all the time in the world. And I didn't realize I had so much time until now, until after I have the baby. So suddenly the baby come and it's not a bad thing, but it's just a lot of changes in a very, very short time.
Linda:It's like boom, it hits your face and then also, on top of that, you're dealing with your body that is in very bad shape. You don't like what you see in the mirror. I didn't like what I see in the mirror and I was concerned that my body was not going to go back to the original shape. I don't think it is in the original shape. I don't think I will ever go back to my original shape, especially the waist section. It gets wider. But I will loop myself in the mirror and I will not feel comfortable.
Linda:I did not feel comfortable inside, either because I mean sorry, physically either because I was in so much pain and I was trying to recover from the pregnancy and I have suddenly a huge amount of stuff that I suddenly need to do. I need to feed the baby every two hours and I need to pump and I need to do change diapers. And then all the people are giving me all of their advice, which is which is a lot of advice and I am already overwhelmed and I'm already dealing with a lot of stuff. I'm sure those advice are don't come with bad intention, but when someone is just to give a baby to life, especially a female is going through a lot of things and it is just very hard and in our case, was very helpful because Enrique's mom was here and she was able to help us. So that was very, very helpful during the first month because she was here for a month.
Enrique:Yeah, my parents stay here for a month at the beginning, the first month. Yeah, yeah, after that was when, actually, I think it was a month and a half, but yeah, basically around a month.
Linda:Something like that. But then after that, after she left, it was my husband was working and he will come late, almost nighttime, so it was just me for two more months, because I have almost three months of.
Enrique:Yeah.
Linda:The pregnancy leave or your baby's born.
Enrique:Yeah. Maternity leave Maternity leave yes.
Linda:So I was all day alone with the baby, taking care of the baby, and I was just very exhausted because I couldn't sleep during the day, I couldn't sleep during the night. So many stuff, my house was a mess, I didn't like my body. I barely see my husband and then suddenly it's just a huge chaos and I'm trying to enjoy the baby as much as possible but I can't, because I'm exhausted and I'm just very, very tired. And again I keep receiving because at the very beginning you do receive way too much advice and sometimes it's better to just stay quiet, to be honest, because it's just too much and it's very overwhelming.
Linda:And that's exactly what happened to me. I was very overwhelmed with everything and I fell alone and even though, because it was just at that point, which is in Rikkeni and he was working the whole time, he will leave very early in the morning, around 7 am, and he will come home 7 pm, 8 pm sometimes, sometimes almost 9. It was very late. So I was literally alone the whole time, which was just eating me. And then we had to go to these appointments with the doctor, the baby doctor, and she will give me a formulated formulate no it's a questionary.
Enrique:You're saying it in Spanish? Yeah, I'm sorry.
Linda:So I have to fill out that form and it's pretty much asking you from one to five how do you feel about, how happy do you feel doing this activity or how happy do you feel doing this other activity, just making simple questions. But then I started at the beginning happy faces like number one, and then I started number two, and then I started number three, and then some of them. I started putting number four, which is sad, You're sad and the doctor called me and she was like you actually have postpartum depression. And I broke down because I was scared that I might get postpartum depression.
Linda:And it was because I was so overwhelmed and there was a point that I didn't even see light. It was just this is my life. Now. I'm stuck with this. I have no way out and I have no one to rely on. Because my husband was working, which is me and then I was like how am I going to work, how am I going to do stuff? I didn't have options and I felt trap and that feeling of being trapped kind of like suck my soul out. And then I didn't have emotions, I just was crying the whole time. Do you remember?
Enrique:that time Well, I mean, I remember you telling me about it I didn't actually see you cry. I think I only saw you cry like once or twice, but most of the time it probably was during the day.
Linda:I will cry pretty much every single day.
Enrique:Yeah, but a lot of times it wasn't when I was in the house, yeah, so I didn't get to see it that much, and I think also Linda didn't want to actually tell me much that she's like having all these issues. I think she didn't really tell me that much about it. She mentioned it a couple of times, but she was trying to keep it to herself.
Linda:Well, I think that's because I'm more introvert than Enrique. You are very extrovert, but I'm like a hybrid between an extrovert and an introvert. I'm not truly extrovert, but I'm not truly introvert either. It's like somewhere in the middle. So I kept a lot of stuff, especially if it's something negative. I try to keep it to myself for some reason, and but yeah, if I hear a song I will cry.
Enrique:But I think for Linda was also tougher, because not only all that changes right and she's having to deal with all that, but also the whole thing that she was doing breastfeeding, and that's extra stuff you have to add to it. Oh, like I was in a knot and I got a clog, now I got this and it hurts, and then after I got to take this pain out, but the baby needs attention at the same time. So you're like, ok, so what do I do? So she's not asleep, or I got to make her sleep, and then I got to deal with getting the clog out, and then this and that, and then you know it's just extra stuff that was happening and I think the combination of everything didn't actually help her. So it actually made it worse and I think it just it may aggravated you even more, all the little nuances that were occurring. But just so you all know, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Enrique:Time goes by and this is me. I'm telling you as a me, as a coach, what I tell my students. Obviously, this is a completely different scenario. This is way harder, way harder a lot of times, specifically for the woman or for the dad, if it's a single dad out there taking care of the baby, which is quite often as well, and that's actually another, another big pain, because then you, you, if you're alone, you're probably going to have to work, take care of it and do everything you said. But so I know there's single dads out there who single parents and single moms too.
Linda:Actually single moms is very common.
Enrique:Let's just make it Well, yeah, that's a pretty common one, but let's just put it in an example of your typical you. You know, mom, dad, both parents are there, which is our case, right Household. In that situation, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, because time goes by and that's your best friend. It looks hard, it looks like it's a it takes, is going to take, forever. You don't, like Linda says, you don't see a way out, but again, time goes by, and when time goes by, that means that you go through faces. You're going to go past these phases as well. So what it seems like an eternity will come and will go.
Enrique:So you have to concentrate and this is what I, when Linda, would break down and stuff and that would always tell her remember, it sucks right now, but the baby will grow. The baby will have a period when she's going to be sleeping more often. There'll be a period when she won't need you as much as it's needing you right this minute. You'll have a little extra time. It's not going to be as when you didn't have a baby, obviously, but you will have more time and everything keeps going with time because, if you think about it, our baby now is almost a year and a half. We have more time now. Yeah, the baby does sleep the whole night.
Enrique:So once we put her to sleep. We don't have to worry her until like 7am Again. Other people have more issue with the sleeping thing. We got lucky. Other people, a year and a half, they're still having issue with the baby sleeping.
Enrique:So, again, this is all depending on what goes for you, but what is certain is that it doesn't matter if it takes you more, it takes you less. You will go through phases and you will keep you know. You will keep progressing because maybe still at three years you feel like you don't have a lot of time, as you were when you were single and whatever. But remember that baby is going to keep growing when they go to 10 and 11, and 12, 13, 14, all this. Every time there's a different challenge, but you feel a little more relaxed and things that were bothering you before. So you have to concentrate and then these are all steps and periods that you're going to have to go through and even when you're about to rip or or or or break your baby, you're going to have to try to get through this or or or. Or punch the wall or throw something or, you know, you want to cry out. You have to try to remind yourself that it's a process and you're having to go through this and the only the best way for you to approach this is to try to see the light at the end. If you can see and you can put in your mind that you might, you can get through this, you have a positive, you're reinforcing yourself positively about an outcome that you want, that you want to achieve and that's going to make you push when, push forward more. But if you're constantly giving yourself negative feedback and negative emotions, you're just going to crumble even more.
Enrique:And this is something like I said. I, as a coach, I tell my, my kids and stuff in tournaments and stuff, because every sport I mean if you're a sports athlete, listener out there you've all gone through this you deal with a lot of scrutiny and a lot of things that happen mentally in sports. You know things. You might get injuries, injuries, you might get tough times, you might get results not going your way. You might feel like you can, you're, you're a loser, or you're this, or you're not as good, or you're not physically good enough, etc. Etc. Etc. And you have to try to push through these things. This can apply to everything in life. Basically, and this is that's why I feel like I've sports are so good because it kind of represents most of the stuff in life.
Enrique:But what I'm saying is you have to try to, to, to see the positive and to at least you know, at least build yourself up. And one thing that I think you absolutely should do in this help Linda is start talking to people. I know she's an introvert she said it and I think that's one of the reasons it was also hard for her. But if you're able to talk to other people friends, doctors, hell, maybe even if you have a psychiatrist, maybe you want to talk to a psychologist, whatever it is. Talk to your parents. Talk to people and break down on them.
Enrique:Yeah you just cry with them. Whatever it is, take it out of your chest. They will help you. They will give you their stories. Maybe your mom tells you hey, listen, I went to the same shit you're going through when I was your age, when I had my first, or when I had my second, or whatever it is. Maybe you talk to a friend who's already got three kids, or two kids, and she's going to tell you hey, listen, this happened to me. I know what you're feeling. This sucks, this is a shitty situation, but, listen, this is what I did. That helped me.
Enrique:Maybe this helps you and you start getting all these different takes and, trust me, it will help you, because you're going to feel in the same boat. You're going to feel like you're not the only one. All of a sudden, you're like, oh, wait a minute, there's a lot more people that go through this shit that I thought, and you're like, okay, so if all these people went through this and got away and were able to get out of it or to go past this, then, hell, I should be able to do the same. So it motivates you a little bit. It makes you. It's going to make you feel a little more or a little less beat down.
Enrique:So I would suggest people or women out there who's going through this to talk, to just communicate, express your feelings To another person who's gone through the same thing or hell. Like I said, if you have a, it could be even your pediatrician, your doctor, I don't know if you're in a, if you had a good, if you have a good relationship with them, or whatever. But anywhere you can express this, that would give you their take and a feedback. It'll help you a lot.
Linda:In my case, was my best friend, maria Elena, so she was definitely the best help I got, and I think a second thing that helped me a lot, especially with the fact of going back to normal, was working. Going back to my work helped me a lot.
Enrique:Then I have my life. You start feeling a little bit of going back to my life to what I wanted to do. To a resemblance of normalcy. You're like, okay, this is starting to feel a little more normal again.
Linda:Yeah, it was not everything about the others, which in this case, will be the baby. It was like, okay, there's something for me here which is the work, and my friend talking to me and just not taking care of the baby. So those two things were the one that helped me go back to reality, or because I was deep stuck somewhere down there.
Enrique:And I think also the other thing that helped you was just seeing progressions in the baby as time went on, like you started saying okay, so she's now sleeping three hours instead of two.
Linda:Well, she actually slept the once she reached one month. She slept one day seven hours.
Enrique:And I was horrified.
Linda:Yeah, I was horrified. I was like she slept seven hours Because I was so tired that I didn't woke up, and she didn't woke up. And then the next morning I was horrified.
Enrique:I was like, no, yeah, but that was a common thing where she was doing seven hours, but she did started doing a little more, yeah. So I think that also helps just seeing a little bit of progression. You're like okay, so okay, it's good, now we're, we're up to three or four hours, we're not only in two, okay, and you know that's little things of that you see like an improvement somewhere. It, you know it motivates you a little bit, okay, so I'm seeing improvement. So I think, as the time went on, like I just mentioned a little while ago, you started feeling a little better every time. Also, you started getting more used to the situation.
Linda:Yeah.
Enrique:I feel like everything you learn as you go through these things, so you were a little more prepared. The later on you knew what to do. You knew what each thing the baby did meant. You know, okay, she wants milk up. She's she's got, she's got a gas, I got a burp or up. You know she's got a weight diaper or she's about to poop or she poop. So you started understanding the needs. So it got easier for you, because at the beginning it's not only what you said about the body changes and you don't like what you, how you look, and it's a complete. It's also that you just don't know what the hell is going on.
Linda:Yeah.
Enrique:At the beginning you're like okay, so what should I do?
Enrique:Yeah, like so the baby's crying and you want to, sometimes the baby keeps crying and crying and crying, and you're like trying to comfort, to comfort her, and you're trying to, okay, milk this, this, this that, and nothing happens and she just keeps on crying and you sometimes feel like you want to pull your hair out and actually, guys, that's why the doctors recommend always have two people at the pitch At the beginning, because sometimes and I'm not saying this is going to be your case, but sometimes people get so frustrated with the baby because they don't know what to do that you could actually say that you could actually sometimes harm the baby without you even wanting to, because you let your emotions, you know, you just freak out.
Enrique:So if that's the case, what they usually recommend is you give the baby to your partner and you go take a little break and just calm down, because if you're by yourself that's the other issue you have that if you having one of those situations where you're freaking out and you're by yourself, then you just you can't just, hey, take the baby a second.
Enrique:No it's with you and there's nobody else there.
Linda:I do remember that I had to leave at some times and leave the baby a little bit, let the baby cry, get out and breathe a little bit and then go back because something. Again, he was not the whole time.
Enrique:Yeah, he was working.
Linda:I actually had to leave the baby for a few seconds babies crying, I'm trying to figure it out, but I haven't found a figure out yet and I had to leave because I was getting my front load. Brain was not working. I was like, OK, I need to take a few seconds, recover my mind and then go back. It just takes time, practice, experience, a little patience.
Enrique:And I think obviously, if you had a second baby, you would be a lot more prepared, now at least, to deal with those situations, because you already went through it once.
Linda:I guess I don't know, because I have done how a second one, so I cannot tell you, but I think I'm not saying that, but I think you've already went through it once, so you already experienced some of this or this.
Enrique:You can have different situations that occur. That didn't happen with the first one, but I think overall you are a little more prepared than when you were, when you were fresh to it.
Linda:I don't know about that, honestly, because I can imagine oh, you have a baby crying and then you have a toddler here. It's like, how are you going to manage now? Suddenly too? I'm not sure about that.
Enrique:You're right about that. But one thing that you're not, that you're forgetting is You're not prepared for that part.
Enrique:No, but one thing you're forgetting too is that the toddler now is also in a daycare. So when she's at the daycare you don't really have the toddler with you, so it's not the same as before. I understand your point, obviously, about having a newborn and then you also got to have the other one there too, but I'm saying you also don't have them. Unless it's the weekend, you're not going to have them most of the time together, right?
Linda:I don't know. Again, I don't have a second child, so I cannot tell you.
Enrique:Okay. Well anyway, this is obviously, this is us giving you guys our opinions.
Linda:For Enrique, everything is very happy, great, fabulous. He just go to work and then, when he comes home, the baby's alive and well care. Yeah, and then my story is very different because I'm the one taking care of the baby. It's just very different.
Enrique:I know.
Linda:That's why for you, for having a second child is great. No, I don't actually know, for me it's like I'm not sure.
Enrique:I'm actually not 100% about that. Either I wouldn't mind, or I would want to have a second one, but I'm not 100% sure about it, either because there's other factors, not just that that I have to, or we have to be really certain about before we have a second.
Enrique:Financial especially Well that's one of them, but I'm just saying in general. There's other. It's not like it's a sure fact, 100% stamp. You know there's other factors. But what I was telling you is that I do think that going through things once, regardless of there's other situations that occur but I'm talking about the infant baby, I'm not telling you about if you have a second one and the other one is presenting a different challenge. I'm talking about the situation with the same situation that occurred with the infant. If you went through it once, that same situation, you will feel a little more. I feel like you would feel a little more prepared to do it. We're just putting everything in a vacuum in that section. I'm not adding, not yet I'm not telling you what other extra things could occur with the toddler and with having extra things here or there. I'm talking about just in vacuum, that the same situation with the baby. Like if you would swap them, I think you would. I'm not telling you, I'm just thinking you would be a little more prepared.
Enrique:I'm not saying completely but you will be a little more prepared because you went through it once.
Linda:Probably. Yeah, At least I will not be at home when the baby come from the hospital, like what should I do with it? That's what I'm saying.
Enrique:You will have preparation and things.
Linda:It will be like okay, I know the baby is crying, probably so hungry, Exactly, the baby is crying.
Enrique:You already know, okay, it could be one of these things, let's try this. Okay, it's not that, let's try this, and you will have to learn the new cues for the new baby. But it's not like you're going to be like, okay, shit, what's going on. You'll be a little more prepared now because you went through it. And hell, if you have, like one of my clients, have five kids when you're in the fifth kid, you're probably an autopilot at that point.
Linda:I mean, you know, I would imagine. I don't know how they do it.
Enrique:What I'm just saying if you're in your fifth, because I see, listen, I see some some ladies out there and we'll probably have listeners who have more than three or four kids. I see some women out there who go to the Walmart or these places and they got a kid in the stroller who's a newborn, they got a one tugging by the leg, they had another one in the car of the car they're pushing with all the food is in or whatever. So they're to have like three kids and they're alone and I don't even know. They're like multitasking everything. So what I'm saying is that these people look like their pros, like you know, like new parents are like freaking out with the first one. Oh shit, she's crying, oh, fuck this. Oh, my God, there has a little red mark here. What does that mean? Remember this and that.
Enrique:Let me Google this thing, this call the doctor, I don't know what's going on. And these ladies have, like, like I said, a kid newborn there, and they got another kid throwing shit around, they got another one in the cart pushing and they're like talking on the phone in the meantime as they're doing all this shit and I'm like what the hell's going on? Like I mean, you know, like they don't give a shit about it. It looks like they're, like I said, like they're an autopilot, they're just and everything just works. So what I'm saying is there's so they got, there's so used to it that I don't think for them. That's why I'm thinking I feel like it's always the first one, because you're completely fresh to it. You don't know shit.
Linda:I also think that it depends on the personality of the parent, because I am very organized, I am very structured, so if something goes out of the way is just make me stressful.
Enrique:Yeah, but you will be able to structure around it. What I'm saying is you would be able to prepare and structure around it. Yeah but use your methodology and you would be able to kind of maneuver Now.
Linda:I can do that Now. Now I have like everything quite organized, I will say, and I know baby is getting proper education and she's just well. But at the very beginning I didn't know.
Enrique:So I was just yeah, but what I'm saying is that if you had a second one, you would be able to structure yourself in a way where you can handle both Eventually that's what I'm saying.
Enrique:Eventually you would find a way, whether they're more or an organizer or not. Ladies that have a bunch of women that have three, four kids. By the time they have their last kid. They're basically masters at this stuff, like they can do all these things at once and it looks like from the outside like easy PC, exactly Like you're like we'd be freaking out like holy shit and you see them like like it's nothing, like they're grabbing ice cream there, ice creams.
Enrique:Well, they're talking to the phone while they're pushing the car, while the other babies throwing shit over there, and they're like, hey, hannah, come over here, we're moving, we're moving and they're chill.
Linda:And you're like why are they so chill?
Enrique:I mean I'll be like, I'll be like freaking out about to have a spasm over there and the and the and the and all number five. They're going to have to call the manager. Hey, clean up an all five. This dude, just what you know. I'm saying, like that's how I would feel, and these guys are like easy PZ, you know, no, no issue. But I'm pretty sure if you ask those ladies who have the four kids and they're acting that way when they're in their first kid, they probably weren't like that. That's what I'm saying, mm, hmm, you, they would probably be like, huh, what's going on? Oh, call the doctor. Hey, hey, johnny, call the doctor over there. You know something's going on with the kid because, again, you just don't, you just don't feel comfortable. That's why you know what.
Enrique:There's those funny memes you see on the on the on the Facebook where, first kid, you're like, really careful with the kid. Second kid the kids full of dirt. Third kid he's in the mud. And then fourth kid, he's like he's in the mud and you're and you're throwing extra mud on top of it.
Enrique:You know, I'm just saying like that's what. At the beginning you're like oh, he's got to be so clean. The second one gives a shit. Third one is like hey, where's? I don't even know what the hell he is. You know, he's like he's probably going around somewhere, like they don't. When you're in the fourth, the third fourth, it's like well, it's whatever, I don't care. You know that's how it looks like. That's why there's memes about it.
Linda:Yeah.
Enrique:Because in reality you do, you are a lot more laid back about it.
Linda:You're like I'm sure that there are All different kinds of parents.
Enrique:Well, but the reason they make a meme is because the Over majority Does what the meme says. That's why they make a meme when when they make means is because the majority of people.
Linda:That's what happens.
Enrique:That's why they make the meme, because if not they wouldn't make it. But yeah, basically that's what we were trying to talk about today with the subjects. I don't know if I don't think there's right. I think that covers about everything, yeah, so again, birth story and then postpartum depression. It's a little recap in, specifically in the postpartum stuff, because I feel like the birth story everybody's going to have their own different birth story, their own different things that happen.
Enrique:But, on the, on the postpartum. Remember what advice is when you're feeling down, when you're feeling bad, when you feel like everything's about to, the walls are closing in and you feel like there's no escape and again, this is a view go through it. Some women don't go through postpartum. Actually, there's a study that says 6.5 to 20% out of all women who give birth go through some type of postpartum depression.
Enrique:So, that means that there's still around 80% or more of women who don't have postpartum depression. So you might be one of the majority who don't have it, but if you're one of the but the percentage that do have it, do you remember there's a light at the end? Make sure that you talk and you communicate with people. Make sure that you try to get into doing stuff that you remember that you did before, so that you start feeling a little more normalcy in your life.
Enrique:If you have a hobby, even if it's hard, whatever it is, try to do something in the limited time that you have that will, that you would feel a little more normalcy. Talk to people, find a way that you would be able to concentrate on a positive things that will be happening or things that you like, and not just only the negative. There's ways to find solutions out of it. You just have to. You have to keep a positive attitude and just you know know that there's hurdles that will happen and we just have to find a way to maneuver and go around them and just do the best we can.
Enrique:And whatever choice you make, just always make sure whatever people say out there that you feel is negative feedback. Remember you're the person going through this thing. You're the person who's raising the kid. You doing it your best way you can.
Linda:Whatever?
Enrique:people say out there that they did with theirs, unless they're giving you a positive feedback, unless they're telling you, hey, you're doing an awesome job. I would recommend if you feel this way, this is what I did, maybe it works for you. Again, do whatever you feel it works for you, but this is they're giving you, just giving you advice on what worked for them so you can try it. That's fine, right, there's no, there's no problem. You can try it and hey, maybe it does work for me and maybe it does help me.
Enrique:But if people are just saying, hey, you're doing the shit wrong, this is not the way you're supposed to do it and this is going to be bad for your kid, you should be doing it this way. That's when it's incorrect. That's when you should tell them hey, listen, I'm doing it the best way I can. This is the way I feel it's working for me at the moment. If you don't like this way, listen. I'm glad it worked for your kid this way, but for mine it doesn't.
Enrique:What I'm saying is whatever your decision is, that's the correct decision. It's not the decision that anybody else tells you to do. And as long as you keep that in your mind and you and you remind yourself that every day you'll, you'll feel a little bit better about yourself, because a lot of times, what really gets to you is negative feedback that other people are giving you, because you're going through a bunch of shit and you don't, and when somebody tells you some stuff that you're doing wrong, that's even, it's like, it's like stepping on shit, you know, like you were there and then you stepped on it and then just throw more shit at you and you're like, you feel like you're covered in shit. So just remember what you do is right and don't let anybody else tell you that it's wrong. Okay, because you're the person raising the kid, you're the one doing everything. Okay. So now, apart from that, from that, I think we can kind of close it out for today, right?
Linda:Yeah.
Enrique:So let's, let's just tell the public here, or the people that listen, is what will be happening on part three, right? So what was it again that part three was about? Linda.
Enrique:How to deal with baby when your kids, when you're traveling, oh right, so this is more because situations that have occurred with us, because we've done flights and we've done cruises with Victoria. So it's basically this might be a short I don't think this is going to be as long as these last two. So part three might be a shorter part, a shorter kind of like conclusion to this whole parenting thing. But again it's going to be, like Linda said, about traveling. So you know things you might want to know when you travel with an infant or with a toddler, things you might want to pack.
Linda:Yes, a little packing.
Enrique:Things you might want to ask your pediatrician prior to all these little nuances that you, as a first born parent, again, we're talking about first born parents here.
Enrique:If you've already gone through this, maybe you just hear a different side or a different take of what happened with you, but we're talking about the experience of what you were in first born, first parent, right, not as a parent of five or parent of four, this is the parent of a first one, okay, so things that basically about travel, about traveling, about going out of the house with the baby. But again, I want to thank you all for listening today. I think for Linda, this was really good to get it out of your chest, right.
Linda:Oh yeah, for sure.
Enrique:So, yeah, linda has been wanting to do this one for a while because she feels like this is one of the things that was eating her alive back in the day.
Linda:I think the biggest problem that I was having is that a lot of people don't talk about it and it's just like a taboo. You cannot mention to anybody that you will have first part in depression. I'm like no, no, that's not right. I actually have to talk about it and I have to let know other people. Yeah, this might happen and this is completely normal. It's okay and you will get there. You will find light at the end of the term. Believe it, even if you don't see it, because, believe me, I didn't see it, but it will. It will get better. And just try to stay as calm as possible. And I know the road is dark and it's long, but and it feels depressed, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. And that was the biggest takeoff that I wanted to let you guys know was like this might happen. There are decent percentages that, yeah, there is a good amount of percentage of females, and I'm not even sure if that's accurate, but there is a good amount of females that go.
Enrique:Yeah, it's around 6.5 to 20% based on the on that, because that biometric 20% is a big amount of females. Yeah on that.
Linda:That's the on the higher on the higher end, but yeah.
Enrique:I mean, it's still a, it's like it's pretty good amount. Yeah, it's a, basically one.
Linda:Fifth One in five.
Enrique:One, fifth, yeah, yeah. Anyway, again, let's just wrap it up for this. It's been another long one We've had. The last two have been pretty long, but hopefully it was like I said. Hopefully they didn't bore you. I think we're, I think we're giving you good information and I think it's there's different perspectives. Everybody has a different one, so that's why it's I feel like it's so interesting to just listen to different takes and how people approach the these parenting situations. You can follow us on YouTube. You can follow us wherever you listen to your podcast. Again as well, follow us on Instagram at honey. Let's do a podcast there. You can also message us. You can give us information about things, about what you thought about this episode or what you things that that you went through. Maybe you had postpartum depression and you want to tell Linda about it. Any of those things you can tell us there. Let's just end this thing now. Have a blessed day. We'll see you next Wednesday. Peace out you.
