6. Living with Grief: Stories of Love, Loss, and Hope with Doug and Laurie Bunnell

When the unimaginable happened, Doug and Laurie Bunnell’s world was forever altered. They share their intimate journey through grief, offering a look into the aftermath of losing a child. We reminisce about Zachary's vibrant life and the indelible mark he left on those who knew him. The Bunnells' story is not just one of sorrow, but also of profound love and the complex decisions they faced as parents navigating their son's illness, offering a somber yet deeply touching narrative that resonates with anyone who has faced a similar challenge.

Grief can be a solitary path, yet in our conversation, Doug, Laurie, and I uncover the power of community and the importance of sharing stories in the healing process. We delve into the courage it takes to confront grief, the challenges of finding support in a culture unequipped to handle such profound loss, and the transformative experience of finding joy amidst pain. This episode is a testament to the strength of families bonded by shared heartache and the solidarity that can emerge from openly talking about our most vulnerable experiences.

Finally, we confront the complexities of mourning, touching on the recent DSM addition concerning prolonged grief and the therapeutic value of presence for those in mourning. We discuss the delicate balance of expressing grief, especially in the presence of children, and emphasize the lasting nature of loss. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, we underscore the significance of honoring loved ones and the crucial step of allowing ourselves to feel, to cry, and to remember, as part of the journey toward healing.

Doug and Laurie live in the most northwest portion of the Pacific Northwest in Bellingham, the fair city of subdued excitement. Doug is one of the Pastors at First Presbyterian Church. Laurie is one of the Preschool teachers and Directors at Kids Central Presbytery. They love to hang out with people, read, walk, and play with their new kitties.

The parenting organization who the Bunnell's work with -  The Light Collective
Contact Doug & Laurie - bunnsters4@icloud.com
A book about Zachary written by Doug & Laurie Bunnell's daughter Zoe - Brown Bear & Me: A Story of Sibling Love & Remembering

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Summary 

• Content advisory. 0:52
• Sharing a few memories with dear friends. 1:25
• The story of Zachary.5:12
• Cancer treatment, hard decisions and conversations.17:05
• The “right order” of things. 20:41
• Walking with other parents, not dodging grief.   22:42
• Weaving joy and grief.26:42
• Our culture’s inability to handle grief.27:53
• Reasons to get out bed after a child's passing.29:30
• Importance of laughter.30:28
• Stages of grief, wanting grief to be linear/methodical.31:29
• Ongoing losses, milestones, how siblings grieve. 35:58
• Length of grief, DSM.39:05
• Helpful/unhelpful people when grieving, showing up. 40:16
• Talking about those we’ve lost. 42:00
• The conundrum of grief. 47:25
• Allowing for tears, not apologizing for crying. 49:48
• Grief is exhausting and never fully goes away. 54:20
• Honestly grieving in front of a child, letting it out.57:28
• Resources and support. 59:58