Witnessing the strength of a partner in labor and the miracle of new life is a transformative experience that often goes unspoken, especially for fathers and partners. Enjoy these moments captured in the birthing room that reveal the depths of emotion and connection partners undergo during childbirth. Each narrative serves as a testament to the shared journey of growth, a vital aspect of the birthing process that deserves recognition and remembrance.
Visit our website, here: https://birthlearning.com/ Follow us on Facebook at Birth Learning Follow us on Instagram at @birthlearning
Show Credits
Host: Angie Rosier Music: Michael Hicks Photographer: Toni Walker Episode Artwork: Nick Greenwood Producer: Gillian Rosier Voiceover: Ryan Parker
Witnessing the strength of a partner in labor and the miracle of new life is a transformative experience that often goes unspoken, especially for fathers and partners. Enjoy these moments captured in the birthing room that reveal the depths of emotion and connection partners undergo during childbirth. Each narrative serves as a testament to the shared journey of growth, a vital aspect of the birthing process that deserves recognition and remembrance.
Visit our website, here: https://birthlearning.com/ Follow us on Facebook at Birth Learning Follow us on Instagram at @birthlearning
Show Credits
Host: Angie Rosier Music: Michael Hicks Photographer: Toni Walker Episode Artwork: Nick Greenwood Producer: Gillian Rosier Voiceover: Ryan Parker
Speaker 1:
Welcome to the Ordinary Dula Podcast with Angie Rozier, hosted by Birth Learning, where we help prepare folks for labor and birth with expertise coming from 20 years of experience in a busy Dula practice helping thousands of people prepare for labor, providing essential knowledge and tools for positive and empowering birth experiences.
Speaker 2:
Welcome to the Ordinary Dula Podcast. This is your host, angie Rozier, and we are hosted, of course, by Birth Learning. So on today's podcast, I want to do something a little bit different. We feel very importantly about birth stories. People's stories are so important. I love hearing birth stories, I love being involved in some small way in birth stories and it's fascinating to me the impact that these stories have on lives, not just, of course, the baby's life, but the person giving birth of course that's a major impact but the partners and the family and the community that's involved with this story. There's some remarkable stories and that's, I think, one of my favorite things and most valuable things I've collected over the time I've been a Dula of 20 years, is gathering stories and how those stories weave together and touch my heart about the strength of people, the strength of humanity, how the capacity of the human heart, the incredible process of birth, the impact that it has on life. So today I want to share little bits kind of unique little bits of these stories.
Speaker 2:
So in our Dula of Practice we take notes, like we kind of journal, throughout the birth process and we, at a postpartum visit, we leave with our clients a written birth story. It's not maybe not a story, but it's more of a timeline, because we don't want to interpret anyone's story, but it is kind of time stamp. So that's what we take notes on is what time things happened. So we know a lot of folks. As they go through this process, especially the people having babies there's going to be pieces that they remember vividly for the rest of their life. But there's a good deal of things they aren't aware of or don't notice, or you know there's a lot going on during that time. So we kind of like to record that. The details can get jumbled a little bit, so just having a basic timeline, and then we let folks like the look back on the facts and that can bring up their memories so that they can, of course, add their own take to their stories.
Speaker 2:
So today what I want to do is share little bits about what the partners or the dads experiences like. So after the birth we spend a good hour or two with our clients and do some processing, like we also work on breastfeeding and making sure everything settled. As you know, we're working on that immediate recovery time and hopefully we're doing skin to skin and all of that. But once the room settles down and the nurses have left the room, the midwife or the doctor has already left the room. We have some time to just process, just kind of settle into the story, whatever the story was like. But that's an important piece for those who are there to witness and experience that you know we always ask and we add this to our birth story notes is for both the person who had a baby and their main support person.
Speaker 2:
What do you remember most Like, what's fresh on your mind about this experience, whether it was a three hour experience or a three day experience, this is a time of major transition and change. You know, we've got a baby who's one or two hours old or less, and we've just gone through the process of labor and getting this baby here, and so it's kind of an interesting time to capture some perceptions and some perspective at that point. So what I'm going to share today, I'm just going to go through as much as time allows here. I'm going to go through notes of what partners have said and I. You know these are each going to be a little different. You're going to hear kind of different themes. You'll hear some similarities. You'll hear some very polar opposite things that people share, but these are from partners. So this is mostly try to look. This is mostly men. So this would be, by and large not completely, but a male perspective on the experience of birth and labor that they just went through with their partner. So you may hear me wrestling pages a little bit as I go through these notes, but it's in no particular order. If there's an interesting comment and I remember kind of what it was referring to in the story, I may share that. But here we go.
Speaker 2:
This dad says I remember how long it took. I think we were all expecting it to go quick because we were so prepared. It was hard for my standpoint as what to actually do. I was here a long time but there was lots I could not. I couldn't not do. The last couple of minutes were hard to watch. This dad said right before she came out I prayed for you in your ear. I just felt like I was supposed to do that and seeing how peaceful she is laying on your chest, it's awesome. This dad says how little pushing had to happen. The speed of the whole thing from the time we left the house, the way it happened, seems so perfect now. We thought he was going to come early. Labor kicked in as we put our other child to bed and then again when we arrived.
Speaker 2:
This dad says I remember her using bird sounds. She was using her heating pad and I had the bird sounds playing while she was giving birth. The water broke as soon as we turned into the hospital and the car ride seemed to take forever. It was a 23 minute ride. The McDonald's food was pretty good. This was my birthday present. It's how I remember how fast it went. This time it was super quick and for months I said it could be on my birthday, in which it was. This dad simply said so much better. The nurses were a lot better this time too, so they'd had a tough experience before and a little different this time. This dad said all the time we've been able to spend together the Starbucks barista who took us under her wing. We put a lot of puzzles together. I don't know how we didn't mention that already, and this couple had to be in the hospital for a long period of time before they had their babies, so they did have a lot of time to spend together.
Speaker 2:
Another dad says I beat the hard. Truthfully, there was a lot of moments that I teared up watching her push and I'm not really very prone to that to crying. Another dad said I surprised myself by cutting the cord. I didn't think I could do that His legs look pretty funny and the COVID test and her reaction to it. So this was a time that they were doing COVID testing. And this dad says obviously there's a lot of buildup when it all went very quickly. It's one of those life experiences you know. That's so true. It is one of those life experiences that people don't have a whole lot during their life. This dad said I'm so grateful it went the way you prayed about. I wanted that skin to skin so badly for you. She's strong. She's a strong girl. She's got some grit. I was concerned, though. This dad said it was absolutely 100% not what we were planning for or talked about.
Speaker 2:
Another dad said being in a holding pattern for a long time and feeling helpless while nothing took its course. The surge of emotion that hits the first time. You see, really it hits home. There's something ancient about it, about birth. We get swept up in the modern day of all the tech, and then there's this moment that it's just like it's always been forever, and that's when we find out who we really are. I thought that was pretty powerful. This dad says it was a lot better than last time. She wasn't seeming out of control and labored much more comfortably. A big help was you speaking about the doula? A big help to have someone like that, thankful that both of them are okay for now.
Speaker 2:
Life can be so fragile. This is my fourth one, so his fourth child. This dad remember this was kind of a tough one. The baby was struggling a lot like harder than I've ever seen, maybe a baby struggle at birth. And this dad says I'll remember the room full of people one life and 20 people when I went to the NICU. They were all doing what they were trained to do. It was community. The gender became very obvious.
Speaker 2:
My other image is he says his partner's name and Angie working together and they were doing the labor dance and this mom moved a lot through labor. She was a mover and a shaker, which was very important to her situation. All right, this dad says I am full of love and proud of her. She was so strong and tough. I don't think we could have done this without Angie Well, the doula being here. People say that they probably could, but, doulas, we hope to make it more pleasant. He said it was tough to watch her work so hard.
Speaker 2:
Okay, this dad says every part of it was unexpected. Since Friday we both just went with it and adapted to what was happening. There were easy parts, there were hard parts. The hard parts some of them were easy. Everyone here was wonderful and within oh and then the baby was born within 15 minutes after I woke up. So they had had a long experience. It became quick at the end. This next dad says it's great. She had the amount of epidural that she had. It took the edge off. And then all the stuff we brought all this stuff with us the bags and all the apples and oranges and theirs went kind of fast and it ended up not needing to use everything they brought, which is common sometimes.
Speaker 2:
This dad says did we go to the birth center too early? And then about the birth, he said it's pretty cool. When she said this is the head, then you see such a little part of the head before the baby is actually born. We heard that a lot from dads. I'm like, wow, I didn't know how much more heads I was. This dad says the sense of joy I felt when I saw him, especially when I heard his first cry. Another dad said seeing him for the first time, feeling confused, like that's a part of me and I felt more than I have ever been wanting to touch him and make sure that he wasn't alone. That's sweet a connection the dad wanted to have with the baby.
Speaker 2:
This dad said how I underestimated her strength. She was amazing, very cool. It's pretty impressive how strong women are during labor. This dad said just relief. That's what I felt. It was tough, there was a tough time and it tore me up when she was just broken down at the birth center. We had some tough moments in that one, but it turned out very well actually. This dad said I am blown away with how tough and strong my wife is.
Speaker 2:
This dad said when the water broke, that was very vivid, it woke me up. She called my name and threw a pillow at me. He said just the attention we got from so many staff members. They were good through the day, but especially after 7pm from that point on to name some doctors and nurses, we needed everybody to make it happen. He appreciated the team effort. Her strength stood out to me the most. It was quite quick. He said y'all being here and helping out.
Speaker 2:
The moment I saw the baby, I saw her under the water and I didn't think she was real. It was a really cool water birth at a birth center, which was pretty awesome. Let me see if I have any others. Let me show you just a couple more. This dad says when he was putting her up, when the doctor was putting the baby up on her chest I think it was all pretty crazy and it can definitely feel like that for sure. Just a couple of more before we wrap up. This dad says the team generally, everyone involved, was this caring, supportive team and it's cool that that was possible. Then her strength throughout this even though it was one of the most taxing things a person can do, she remained positive. Then this right here, skin to skin, the possibilities to be in such a space when last April we did not think we could have this and we've come so far. They had an interesting situation as well where they had had an infant loss the April prior, and so this was a very healing birth for them to be able to be in that space and greet a baby again. It was intense for them, of course.
Speaker 2:
Hopefully you've enjoyed hearing just little snippets of what the partners remember and what their experience is like. I think it's important to remember partners are having an experience as well that can be impactful in their lives and, as doulas, we want that to be important. We want that to be a consideration. We want the partners to be involved, feel empowered and feel like they are having a positive experience and that they have tools. It's hard to feel helpless. It's hard not to know what to do. I feel that, as a doulas, a lot too, and that's why we hope to be able to prepare folks as much as possible. There's a lot you can do to prepare a knowledge of power. We would love to help prepare you. We do have some classes for sale at birthlearningcom or, if you'd like, you can call and we can do a customized preparation for you and your team. For your partner whether that's going to be your mom with you, or your sister or girlfriend or anyone who's going to be your partner would love to help empower them with tools as well, so that you can go about your birth experience feeling prepared and have a positive experience, being able to advocate yourself and have your team truly be able to support you. We know that birth is important.
Speaker 2:
Thank you so much for being here today for the Ordinary Dela podcast. Again, my name is Angie Rozier. We're hosted by Birth Learning. You can check us out at birthlearningcom. Follow us on Instagram or Facebook. I hope you go and do something amazing today. Reach out to another human, make their day of their life a little bit better by the positive impact you can have on their life. Thanks for being here. We'll see you next time.
Speaker 1:
Thank you for listening to the Ordinary Dela podcast with Angie Rozier, hosted by Birth Learning. Episode credits will be in the show notes. We'll see you soon in next time, as we continue to explore the many aspects of giving birth.