Honoring How You Feel - Where Do I Begin Series - Day 8

Welcome back the Where Do I Begin series... Today we are talking about honoring how you truly feel.  Have you ever been caught in the tangle of saying 'yes' when every fiber of your being screams 'no'? Our latest podcast episode is your ally in navigating this tricky terrain. We're peeling back the layers on why your body's whispers—or sometimes roars—shouldn't be ignored. Together, we'll cruise through the art of tuning in to those subtle physical responses, from the doldrums of disinterest to the sparks of excitement, and how they steer us toward a life that resonates with our core. I'll share tales from my own life, like turning down invites that felt more like obligations, and how we can all find joy in tasks we'd rather skip, by shifting our perspective or digging for hidden gems of satisfaction.

Then it's time to put on our armor of authenticity as we tackle the beast of people-pleasing. It's a candid exploration of the perils that come with putting on a façade, and how staying true to ourselves can liberate us from the weight of others' expectations. I'll discuss the importance of setting boundaries that don't just protect our time, but also our essence, and guide you through real-life scenarios where saying 'no' is not only necessary but empowering. Get ready to walk away with a renewed trust in your own decisions, a sense of integrity in your responses, and the courage to live a life that's genuinely yours.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:33

Welcome back to the show. I wanted to talk a little more today about feelings and feedback, and not just the feelings and emotions that we have, but literally how do you feel them in your body. I think the better we can get to know ourselves and how our bodies are reacting and responding to things, I truly believe that that can help us better navigate through our life. So, if you think about it when something happens and how in tune are you with how your body actually feels For example, if someone is asking you to do something and you don't really want to do it, you kind of get that blah feeling and that is your body literally communicating with you, telling you that you should probably say no and it's okay to say no if you don't really want to do something and honoring that feeling in your body. Or let's say, something happens that makes you feel good and you're like hell, yes, I want to do that Then that means you should do it. Literally, our bodies communicate with us all the time, all the time, and it's so important to really be in tune with yourself with those things. Sometimes I'll be having a conversation and I get tingles in my body like really good, positive tingles, like, oh, that makes me feel good. Or if I'm laying down to meditate, sometimes I literally feel energy moving in my body. It's usually presents itself in a tingling way. I was driving to work today and I was blasting music and I was screaming in the car and singing and just felt so good and I could literally feel the vibration of the music in my body. So how in tune with yourself are you and do you listen when your body is trying to communicate with you?

Speaker 1: 2:45

Think about that. Is there a time where something has happened or you've been asked to do something and your body told you, no, don't do that, but you chose to do it anyway? How often does that happen? Or when things feel really good, do you do those things that feel really good to you within your body? So the next time maybe you're asked to go somewhere or do something and if your body tells you no and is signaling to you that that's something that you shouldn't do, maybe say no. Maybe that is something that would help you feel more in alignment between your head and your heart.

Speaker 1: 3:29

I feel like there's always so much pressure on us to feel like we have to say yes to everything because we want to please other people and we don't want to disappoint others. But just remember that it's okay if it's not something that feels good to you or it's not something you want to do Just because it's going to disappoint somebody. It doesn't make that feeling wrong and maybe they wouldn't be disappointed. Maybe you've just created a story that you've decided that they'll be disappointed in you saying no, and you don't even know that for sure. You just decided it on their behalf.

Speaker 1: 4:06

I think we could better learn to communicate how we truly feel authentically within our body and ourselves. We'd be a lot happier if we didn't give in to what we believe other people want and expect from us. I'm not in denial about the fact that there are times where we have to do things that we don't necessarily want to do, but I think there's many times in our lives where we put that pressure on ourselves that we have to, even if we don't really have to. So when that happens, what can you do to help yourself feel better about it? Let's say, you're invited somewhere and you don't necessarily want to go, but you have to. You have a responsibility, for whatever reason. So what can you do to help yourself feel better about it? Is there something that you enjoy about wherever you're going? Is there a person that's going to be there that you really enjoy spending time with? Is there a way that you could feel better about it and have less resistance in your body about it, while still honoring how you feel? Do whatever you can to change you know, do a shift in your mindset or whatever you can do to raise your energy regarding the situation.

Speaker 1: 5:32

I'll give an example. Sometimes I don't always want to go to work, but I need to. I get to, and so I will find things that I do enjoy about my job. And you know, sometimes like everybody wants to go to work every day, right, like that's real life. But I'll find. You know, I enjoy interactions with my employees. I enjoy interactions with my guests. I enjoy there are things about it that I really truly enjoy and do what I can to make it fun or at least help myself feel better about it.

Speaker 1: 6:14

Sometimes I don't love to go grocery shopping, but before I go grocery shopping, I asked myself which store would be in my highest good to go to, and it was funny. I was at the store yesterday and I walked in and I'm like, oh my God, it like vomited Valentine's Day all over. You walk in and it's like I mean the flowers were gorgeous and it was very pretty, but it was. It always makes me laugh every time it's Valentine's Day because you walk into the store and it's just flowers and balloons and candy and baked goods and it's just like everywhere and makes me laugh every year on Valentine's Day, anyway. So I listen to music while I'm grocery shopping and you know, when I ask myself which store is in my highest good, usually I run into. I either run into someone or I find a good deal or whatever.

Speaker 1: 7:06

So I do what I can to create or engage with the employees and connect with them. You know what can I do to create a better experience for myself, because that is all within my power. So what can you do if you're invited somewhere or you need to go somewhere, and what can you do to help yourself feel better about it and have less resistance and not feel so icky inside about it? Sometimes I ask myself what's the worst. What happened if I said no? You know what if I stood up for myself? What if I said no? I'm just not feeling it today and no is a complete sentence. You don't have to justify it. You don't have to say why you don't want to do something or make up an excuse as to why you can't or don't want to go. You can just say no, not today, maybe next time, and that's okay.

Speaker 1: 8:02

It feels pretty good when you say no to something that you feel like you should say yes to. But when you want to say yes, say yes. The other thing that you can do is just if someone invites you somewhere or wants you to do something and you're not sure, like your initial instinct is no, that doesn't feel good to me. You can always pause and say let me get back to you if you don't want to immediately respond, and then you can formulate how you want to say no or really ask yourselves. You know, if I have a friend say, where would you like to go to dinner, like if I literally don't care, I'll say I don't care If I'm agreeing to go somewhere just because I don't want to voice my opinion or share what I want, what I truly desire.

Speaker 1: 8:51

That's where I'm not honoring myself and how I feel about things. But you know, sometimes I say yes or I don't care because I literally don't care. But if I'm doing it in a way of just trying to be a people pleaser, then I feel like that's different. Does that make sense? But when we do things because we want to make somebody else happy, we're not allowing them the opportunity to even really know who we are, because we're just constantly doing things that make them happy, not things that make us happy or make us feel good. And somebody said one time I don't know who it was, but they were like I don't care.

Speaker 1: 9:28

When you're a people-pleaser, you're kind of a liar because you're not even giving people the opportunity to get to know who you really are, because you're just putting on this mask and this face of somebody that nobody even really knows. Do you even really know who you are if you don't follow the way your body feels and respond the way you truly authentically feel deep inside? That was kind of interesting when I heard that. I was like oh, I don't want to be a liar, I want to be authentic and my true self. And if everybody doesn't like me, then that's okay, because I don't like everybody and everybody doesn't have to like me, it's okay. It's okay.

Speaker 1: 10:10

Some of these things feel a little bit uncomfortable when you start to do them, but that doesn't mean that it's wrong. It just means it's uncomfortable when we're setting boundaries or listening to and honoring how we truly feel about something. Not wrong, it's a good thing. It kind of goes back to that trusting yourself and trusting your decisions.

Speaker 1: 10:33

And if you listen to how your body reacts and responds to questions that are being asked of you or things that are being asked of you, and you're actually following how your body feels and responding that way and getting curious like why did that bother me that that person asked me to do that? Or why do I really not want to go? Or do I really care? Maybe I don't really care, maybe I could go to the event or whatever, and it literally doesn't matter. But if I'm only going because somebody else expects me to or because they want me to, not because I genuinely want to, then that's where it's important to really get honest with yourself about that. That is my tip of the day the next time somebody asks you to do something, listen to your body and respond appropriately. I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful day. Much love.