2 - Shenanigans at Mulligans and Risus starts a Union

 Our adventurers gear up for a treacherous journey to the northern realms. Their first stop is the renowned "Mulligans Genius in a Bottle," a local shop recommended by Astrolan, to stock up on essential equipment. 

Leaving the safety of Havenspire behind, they confront the daunting challenges of the unforgiving desert-like terrain. Determined to overcome the harsh environment, our heroes stumble upon a nearby archaeological excavation site, hoping to acquire transport animals for their perilous expedition. However, the unexpected happens when Risus Plas decides to take the initiative and sparks the formation of a workers' union among the dig's laborers. 

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Transcript

Dear Diary, Yesterday we finally had the big meetup. Everything went very well. People loved the mint wine. Charles came by as usual. I can always count on him. But something unusual happened this time.

My old grandmaster came to the store. He was in a rush, running for someone or something. He handed me a broken wooden stick with some writing on it and told me to hide it. I quickly handed it to Charles.

Mr. Raab, from a Twilight Conclave, came immediately after to collect rent. I wouldn't have had the money if it wasn't for the donations made by the customers of today's meeting.

Sadly, he took all the gold, so we have to wait a bit longer with the big you-know-what plan. Mr. Raab kept staring at Charles' crutch. I think he fancied Charles, but he suddenly left very quickly.

Maybe he got nervous? The stick seems to be magical. Maybe it's from Apollo and Artemis. I remember that I've seen something like this in an old book. There are supposed to be more pieces.

The only lead we got was that a piece was buried in the ice up north. That's where we're heading now.

Welcome to Lost in Hysteria, a D&D podcast with a serious story about silly people. My name is Vilas, your DM, and I would like to introduce you to the cast of the day. Hello, my name is Mikkel.

I'm playing the character Rysus Plas. I'm the host. A necromancer who is cheerful to the bone, and with a smile that shines even in the darkest crypt.

Hey, my name is Morten, and I play the leech-loving, plague-doctor-ish monk named Silas. Hey guys, my name is Simon, and I'm playing Charles of Stonehaven, a human fighter trying

his best to win his father's approval. Hi, I'm Anne. I play Arikas, a bratty, snarky half-elf rogue who should probably be working on her attitude. I'm Anna.

I play the Hi, I'm Chris, and I play Astraland, the zodiac-fascinated ranger. Hi, I'm Chung. I play Galdric Gullibley, an exiled human cleric on his path for redemption.

And with that out of the way, let's get back into the story.

Alright, so Mr. Rob has just left the stall. By looking in some old but incomplete books that Astraland had laying around, you have

found that, yes, there is more pieces to this puzzle, this staff or artifact or whatever it is. And apparently, one of them is stuck in the ice up north at the Frost Clan's lands.

So you are in the shop. You just discovered this. You have decided that you want to go to the north. What do you do? Oh, wow, to the north? I love snow.

I think we need to pack some warm clothes. Have you even seen snow before? I haven't seen snow before. I haven't. I think it's the white thing that comes down out of the volcano, right?

It's a different kind of white that comes from the heaven. Yeah. So Astraland, you're the only one who are really from the city. Everyone else is sort of visiting or trying to find answers.

So you would know that there is a shop nearby called Mulligan's Genius in a Bottle, which is sort of a general store where you can find most stuff. Great.

I know where to go, guys. Or for you guys who donated to my meeting, I know where to go. The other can find it by themselves, right?

Are we still just going to ignore the fact that we're following a stalker now? We're all just following the stalker. I don't think we agree that he's stalking us. Okay.

So Astro, how did you know these things? Which things? Stuff. Stuff. The very personal stuff about probably all of us.

From your Zodiac side, of course. Okay. Just never mind. It's fine. You can roll an insight of that. Insight? Yeah. So what'd you roll? Nine. Nine.

I think maybe it should be opposing roll to the Deception of Astraland. Deception? Deception. Deception. And I rolled 23. 23. He seems so trustworthy.

Like you just want to give him all your money kind of guy. Give me all your money. How much was the fucking fee then? There was no fee. There was only donations.

Oh, right. Well, then it's voluntary, right? But you can keep the chains. Then let's head to the store and get some equipment for the north. Yes. Let's do that. Whenever I get enough gold, I will give them to you.

You seem very trustworthy. Exactly. You quickly see a small shop with a purple sign. Engraved in the sign is a blue bottle.

And underneath there is Mulligan's genius in a bottle, it says. And as you head into the store, the first thing you notice is the smell of incense in the air.

So the inside of this shop is quite a bit larger than what you initially find when you were outside of the shop. It's completely empty.

It's filled up to the brim with crazy potions and weird equipment and machines and big glass

containers with colored liquids with some strange looking creatures floating inside. There doesn't seem to be anyone around.

Just a small bell on one of the, what seems to be the desk. Ding ding. Did you ring the bell? Yes.

You just rang the bell. Ding ding. I'm just yelling ding and then pointing at the bell. Okay. That's his name. The owner. Mr. Ding.

I'm not going to change his name. So the second you press the bell, like there'll be some whoosh and there's some smoke coming up. And behind the desk, you see this tall sort of elf looking creature, absolutely blue

in the skin and some dark hair. And he's like, yes, welcome to Mulligan's. How can I be of assistance? Hello, Mr. Mulligan. We need some equipment for the north.

The north? Yes. We have to head up north very soon. To slay beasts, I assume? Yes. Really? Yes. Why else would you go to the north? I was sort of going on a brim there. I was surprised that that was the correct answer.

But fear not. I have the equipment for you. So I suppose you'll need some warm clothing. Yes. Yes. What's your size? Oh, a large party. You're quite small, it seems like.

I'm sorry, who are you? I'm Silas. Why? Silas. Why? Well, I don't think I have your size. Ah.

But I have something larger and then you can cut it into the correct pieces. How does that sound? Do we get a discount? Well, no, because you still get the whole piece.

Can I give it back to you after? What? The extra stuff. Hmm. Roll persuasion. Eight. Eight. He's like, no.

Yeah. Because what I'm supposed to do with like half a piece of warm cloth for the window? I don't know. You have so much stuff in here. You might be able to sell it to somebody. Hmm. No, I'm not sure that will do.

That will do it all. No. Hmm. What about, okay, you all look like decent size. I'm sorry, decent size? Well, yeah.

I just mean, so you have nothing in his size, but you have decent sized clothes. What's that supposed to mean exactly? I think we have to revisit that discount. Are you telling me you don't service small people?

Okay. Roll intimidation. With advantage. Eight. With advantage? Yes. Really? What did you roll?

Five. A five and a what? And a four. A five and a four? Yeah. God damn. So he's like, with advantage. Well, when I say decent size, obviously, I mean for normal people. He is, yes.

Totally owning it. Doubling down. He doubles down. He doesn't flinch. He's like. Clearly.

But I would probably, would be able to find some closing for the rest of you. Does it need to do anything? I have something that's resistant to poison. Would that be of interest?

What about clothing? Cold resistant. It doesn't have to be warm. Just cold resistant. Just a small necklace or something. Do you have that? I have something that's resistant to fire. Would that be of interest?

But I mean, it's fire resistance would be good in the north because if it's snowing, it will definitely be hot. There will be a volcano and then the white snow will fall down from the skies.

I don't even know where to start with that sentence. Okay. Okay. So we might also need some weapons. Ah, yes, yes, yes.

So and he kind of looks at you and sort of judges your, like how much gold he thinks you have. And he's like, hmm.

So what kind of economical range would we be interested for that sake? I have some nice wooden clubs, maybe.

Wooden clubs. Well, then I'll see what you got and we will say what we got. Hmm. Hmm. Yes.

I have this longsword Marcus Slayer of Giants that will be 7,000 gold pieces. Would that be in the range that you perceived?

No. Hmm. I do have a proposition for that. I have these potions, which might be of more value. Huh.

I am quite the connoisseur when it comes to potions. What sort of potions are you having there? They stem from a firm called the Sustenance Concoction of Alchemy Magic. Huh.

These potions provides all kind of effects. Yes. And what do they do exactly? Well, they sell all kinds of potions.

They promise great health, great strength, vitality, everything you can imagine. Hmm. I see. I was brought into this firm. I used to work in a company that had a lot of potions.

I used all my town's gold for it. They weren't quite happy, but... You were brought into a company and you used all the gold... From my old town. That's why I'm here.

I'm going to sell all these potions. Roll a persuasion with disadvantage. Because you simulized something. You got scammed. An eight. An eight.

Okay. Okay. He's like, yes. Maybe one or two of these potions. Might be of interest in my collections. I could definitely drop a few edges of the price for you.

Generally like wear and equipment for frosty and cold weather expeditions is around eight gold pieces a person.

I could drop it down to maybe seven gold pieces a person if I were to get some of these potions of yours. What do you mean? After I drank this potion, all my issues disappeared. Okay.

I didn't feel hunger. I felt strength for the first time in 10 years. I think the potions made you forget actually, because you don't know what wine is and you don't know what snow is.

That's why it solved all your issues. Oh, a potion that makes you forget. That could be quite valuable actually. There was one or two situations in the past where I could have maybe used that. How many of these potions that makes you forget do you have?

Let me take a look. And then Galdric pulls up his bag and he just begins to count 10, 20, 30, and just keeps going. I think there's a lot here.

Ah, okay. Maybe I will start with 10. With 10? And we'll see how it goes. And I think actually that would be sufficient to cover your equipment cost.

I do get a feeling from this time of group. Are you sort of like adventurous? Are you good at fighting perhaps? Yes. Yes. Yes. I don't fight. Okay. You seem capable.

Are you good at puzzles and such like things? No. Yes, we are. You're not? Yes, we are. You don't sell yourself. No. Today you are, Charles. Oh, thank you. I can read it in your sign. I see.

You see, I have sort of a list of things I need for the shop. And if you're going to the north anyway, you might be able to bring some back for me and I can in exchange give you some maybe magical...

Where? A square of some kind, if that's of interest. Now, see, that looks like a great deal. So I will need the right hand of a hill giant. So should it be his... I feel like this is important.

Should it be his main hand or his right hand? He's like, hmm. And then he takes up a book and you see that it says like a book of greater potions than alchemy.

And he's like looking up, because he's looking up some recipe of the sort for what he wants to make. and he's like hmm now it specifically says right hand so if he's a left-handed person then that's

fine as long as you cut off the right hand so we should go for a left-handed person so it wouldn't affect him in the future it doesn't matter i i do think most people would prefer to keep both hands

can be a can it be a female hand that yes for sure we don't discriminate okay well

well we don't we describe it in certain things but not that that specifically no one no so what

uh what you're gonna give us oh uh i would say that you would be able to pick anything in this

stall one thing at a person sorry and then uh i think that would be quite like a good deal for you and obviously we get it in advance because we're going on the trip

well no like you would it afterwards when i got all the great stuff but we're here because we're going north and you

wanted to help us go north and obviously this would help us go north and get your stuff hmm you can get half the things now and half the things later how does that sound

yes deal that's the deal okay so is there anything in particular you have interest in yes yes ah is

it is it some great powerful sword maybe a hammer no not not really i actually have a

book magic potion oh um no no actually no okay i would really like one of those coats

those those modern ones you know with a fur hood one what i know what you mean the one with the with the fur lining right exactly right so cool one of those mud ones where you

oh okay yeah sure thing so he goes over to the center of the room which has a it has a large

like boiling pot after like some sort of bluish liquid is boiling away and then suddenly a big bubble forms over the pot and in it you see this very lovely coat is getting formed and

suddenly it bursts and he grabs it out in his hand he's like ah yes is this sort of your style yes exactly that's exactly the one i want ah very good very good and for you charles

i have just the thing it's a magic sword possessed by a spirit which spirit

i don't know some spirit a guy called alfred alfred yes it's an old man he's trapped in the sword

he's why would i want a great man he's great at chess you can play with him it's very valuable

why why is everyone looking at me like it's a good idea stop being anxious okay i'm gonna take this magick's sword i'm gonna take the sword

very well he gives you the sword and and you the second you hold it you feel like there's there's some presence in it that looks at you and judges your clothes dad

no oh sorry it just seemed familiar somehow why are your trousers so low pick him up okay i'm gonna pick up my trousers

and straighten your back okay sorry alfred that's good so there are some other items that might be

of interest yeah sorry yeah can we also hear alfred or do we just see him get the sword then starts picking up yeah it's only him okay perfect so so i get the sword i say that i pick

up my trousers and straighten my back that's what that's what we're saying that's what happening okay um so that was in principle two items out of three all right so there's um there's

some other stuff left there's a wand uh a ring and a rock a rock with a g

are you g yeah what does the ring do uh well it's it's a ring of invisibility

that seems free what about the wands it's a wand of disintegration what does the rug do

it's a rock of teleportation does the rock teleport or yes okay so only the rock yes but would that mean that one of this integration would the one that

disintegrates no it only disintegrates itself can you decide where the rock teleports yes you can but then we can use it to write messages and stuff on the rock i think we should take

the rock why not the ring because i think it's only going to be the ring that goes in

all right you get the rock of teleportation and now you get the fancy dress code and the sword

with the spirit alfred inside so far so good for the zodiac club if you like the podcast so far

there's much more of it on instagram that is here you can see pictures behind the scene and get a more closer look at the characters and the people behind the podcast so far so good for the zodiac

but for now let's get back into the story well we are going to the north right have anyone been to

the north nope i'm from a tropical island oh no so maybe we would induce a map i see i have a bed

bed roll in my my backpack but what about a tent or something so we can sleep it might be too cold actually so forget about the tent do you have a key that unlocks everything i'm sorry

that's just on my list of things i would like to have and if not maybe just the tent

god okay um yeah yeah yeah no i don't think well i could get a key that can unlock most stuff

if that's of interest but that's quite expensive yeah yeah forget about that i just need a just eat the tent

yeah some matches or something so we can light a fire oh i can light a fire i cast no no no no no i

cast my cat trip create bonfire which creates a bonfire he he sees the he sees the bonfire oh

oh jesus i have books in here put that out oh um i'm actually not sure how to do that what give me one second it'll disappear in one minute

i just i just just wait it out just help me move this table so it gets away from the fire

we're coming up it helped me pick it up okay roll strength oh okay okay 18 18 okay okay

you're you're quite um how to say confident in your strength skills then you pick up the table and move it over and you see that one of the pages on his book sort of flips over and you

see there's sort of a there's a recipe for a potion there's a recipe for a potion there's a kind of a recipe for a potion And it's called The Greatest Ritual That Ever Was. I know. I'm like, damn. That sounds banger.

You see the author of the recipe is Tenacious D. Nice. The book only bangers. Yeah, but they sound very cool.

Yeah, it's a spell book only with bangers. Okay. Wow. All right. I think we still need a tent. I will throw in a tent for good measure.

So you leave Mulligans well equipped for your travels with some extra trinkets along the way. And you move through the city, through the center,

next to the large cathedral in the center of the Haven Spire. And as you slowly, slowly get more and more out to the outskirts of the city, you'll see that the large,

the large buildings gets smaller and the narrow streets gets wider as well. And you move into the less rich part of the city.

After around three hours of walking. So at this point it will be maybe 5 p.m. Roughly, you get out of the city and you are now suddenly back on the road,

moving north. And while you might think, that it should get increasingly colder with each step,

it happens to be that in Asteria between Haven Spire and the Frosthole Clans, there's an area called Crimson Peaks. In Crimson Peaks, it's sort of,

it's sort of a canyon-ish area. So it's not a desert per se. It's quite hot actually. And yeah, you have these large,

very deep canyons that sort of forms. The, the land that you moves in.

And it doesn't take long before you get very, very far away from the walls of Haven Spire.

And you suddenly find yourself walking in sort of sand-ish terrain. And there's a few people in the party who would be quite comfortable with this sort of weather and this sort of walking.

But for most of you it would be very, very new experience. After you walked a bit,

you see that all these many canyons sort of form into one and your path are sort of forced into a bottleneck in the terrain.

And you find yourself at an outpost quite far away from the city now after a few hours of walking. And at this outpost, you see a small sign that says,

Scorpions for Rent, a shop by Mr. Frugal. But as you walk in, you are suddenly interrupted by the voice like, Oh, yes,

sorry, we're, we're closed for today. Uh, uh, I assume you're here for the scorpions. Uh, no, we're on our way to the north.

Yes, that's what I meant. Why, why would we need scorpions for the north? And he says, right. Okay, so if you want to get through the canyon,

you need a scorpion because you can only be in the Death Canyon for so long, which is the big canyon. You see behind me and he sort of points behind him.

He says it gets very hot in there and you have to pass it very quickly. That fast and that efficiently that can deal with the heat and the rough terrains are scorpions. So here we,

here you can hire scorpions for rent and you can travel through the canyon and go to Frust, uh, Hope Glance or wherever you want to go. Um, yes, sorry. Um, a few days ago,

some people covered in like, some black robes, uh, had like some moon symbol on it or something. They wanted to hire every scorpion we had for supper for some archeological something,

something dig out nearby. So, uh, like, uh, if you go east, you'll, you'll surely run into them. But, uh, I'm all out of scorpions. If you,

we actually have those guys with the rope in the Haven Spire too. Huh? They're the ones who collect rent. Really? Yeah, exactly. Well, that sort of makes sense. Uh, that I suppose that's the Twilight Conclave then.

Exactly. Ah, well, as you know, the different conclaves for different regions collect rents for the kingdom. So yeah, Twilight Conclave would be Haven Spire. Emerald Conclave would be the Worden Plains and so on and so on.

Okay. Okay. Okay. So, uh, yeah, I guess you're gonna have to go to talk to those guys if you, if you want any scorpions. I only have these baby scorpions and he points over to the right and you see there's a small, like, um, like small fence.

Where it says, uh, baby scorpions be warned, they will kill you. How big are the baby scorpions? Oh, they're not, it's like, like a puppy. Okay. Like they're not large. Like a pup. So cute. Yeah. So it's a very big scorpion.

I wanted to see if I could fit on a baby. Sorry. Yeah. How big are the, how big are the adult scorpions? Oh, they get very large, my man. Okay. So we only need one person. Okay. We all ride on one. Okay.

So you decided to go to the deck out nearby to find some scorpions. You leave your most heavy stuff with Mr. Frugals. And as you walk for a few hours, it starts to get to the evening time of day.

As you approach the ruins in the distance,

you suddenly sees a lot of tents that are put up and you hear

noises clanging on rock, dicking tools, being used a lot of people shouting, moving around,

and you find yourself at the entrance of some old ruins. And. In the center of the ruins area,

you see a large pool of water, quite clear and blue and around it, you would have seen a lot of people working.

So around everywhere around the pond, if you may call it that there will be plenty of workers digging into the Canyon with pickaxes.

And you see a lot of scorpions are used to move all the dirt away that they have. They dig up and all the rocks that they have destroyed and they move along. And people are very busy.

You do notice that it seems like all the working people here are Tieflings. What the hell? And they always make they don't even like see you.

You walk right into camp and no one is like, hey, how are you doing? Like they are so focused and so busy, sort of like bees almost that they are doing their job very quickly, very efficiently.

So after some time you hear a voice behind you is like, I'm sorry, what are you doing here?

And you turn around and you see a rather sort of well-dressed gentlemen of human nature. And he's like, can I be of any assistance? Yeah.

Yeah. What, what, uh, what are you digging for? Oh, it's a very interesting thing. And before he starts talking, there's a voice. I'm like, eh, eh, maybe Nicola, as we, I should do the talking. Oh yes, indeed. Uh, this is, uh,

this is Malika. You know him. And he comes walking over him and he's wearing some, some darker clothes with a twilight conclave symbol on the chest. He's like, yes, um,

Nicola, as it's very kind of you to tell about your findings and your research, but maybe some things are left, best left unsaid. And he's like, Oh yes, of course, of course. He goes back a bit. He's like,

I'm sorry. Um, why are you here? Can we see your digging permit? We're actually, it's called a dick permit. If I may. Oh, right.

Can we see it? We're with the, what's that called? In inspection. Yeah. Yeah. The specters, right? Right. The, the, oh yes,

the famous inspection company. I've heard of those. Deception.

Uh, 12. 12. That's a bit better. You see that, um, the gentleman from the twilight conclave, he's, he's sort of, he's, he's sort of steps back. He's not,

he's not convinced, but he's sort of very. And then Nicholas, uh, the other person you're speaking to right behind him is like, Oh no, not the inspection company.

He like panics. He knows he's not the inspection company. Immediately. Yes, of course. Uh, but we don't have it. And you're good. Wait, you don't have a permit. Um, no, uh,

not the say, Nicholas. God. Um, okay. People, I'm sure we can. But at least surely you like have like a, a,

a slip to like show that you actually own the place. Even this land. Yes. Yes, of course. And I'll be happy to show you. Um, and the, the, the,

the guy in the black outfit, he's like, um, I'm, I'm, uh, I'm sure I lifted it somewhere. I mean, maybe it's in here and he gives you a small pouch.

Can you look for me if the permit is in the pouch? Sure. Uh, you know, I'll take a good hard look. Um, but while I do, that might take a while. We'll just,

we're just going to scout the premises a little bit. Of course, of course. Take your time. if you have any other questions. Yeah, we'd like to know what you're digging for. So here, Nicholas, like,

well, yes, it's quite interesting, actually. Yes, uh, surely. Um, yes. So we, we are looking for some old, uh,

temple that's supposed to be in this area. It's purely for his, his story, the history and religious, um, insight into the world before us. So it's supposed to be some temple for,

for Phoebe, the Titan and something like this. So, so that's what we, we are digging for. And we will, yeah, uh, that, that's, uh, so you can roll it inside on this.

17. Uh, so 17. And so you, you, you definitely feel that there's something more going on. Like he's not, what he's saying is not strictly speaking, untrue,

but there's definitely more to the story. So there's something is in hiding. So he's like, um, so he says, yes. So please go around, uh, looked at.

Everything is up to standards of the code. Hi, Reese's plus from the tiefling worker union. So see, listen, I are here to see how you deal with your workers.

And there are multiple inspection groups here. Yeah. Well, we collect them in one meeting, not to disturb too much. Yeah. We carpool scorpion pool out here, you know,

and actually we're going to the North lands, but we didn't have any scorpions. So now we do a sudden inspection of your site here. Okay. So I will,

I think I would need another deception check, but it will be with advantage because you already sort of succeeded. The first one, 16, 16. Okay.

That's pretty good. He's like, Oh, okay. I think I need another deception check, but the tiefling worker union, what are the rights exactly of a tiefling? Three meals. Oh, surely. I see.

So maybe if you walk us around, talk about your, how you treat your workers and then the inspection of archeology can talk with Nicholas regarding

the inspection of the archeology. I start saying, wait, that's water here. That's a protected resource. Have they, have they had a permit to dig around that or? Oh,

ah, Nicholas, please go, go talk to them. He's like, I'm sure Nicholas can tell you everything about the protected resource here. Everything is in order. Of course, we got the paperworks in order, sorry,

in the paperworks is as it should be. And I'm sure you can see that from the pouch that was delivered where all the paperworks that you need is in. Exactly. That seems like a small pouch for a lot of things. A lot of paperwork.

But we'll keep looking. Yeah. We'll keep looking. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Let's get to. Um, so, uh, yes, uh, you, so you, you'll get Nick Nicholas and, uh, uh, I get, so wait, who,

who is on which inspection team? So we have Astroland, Arikas and Charles on the archeologist group. And then we have, I guess, uh, Silas, Reese's and Geltrick.

Geltrick. Yes. On, on the chief links workers rights movement. Yeah. No union. Union. Union. Even worse. Even worse. The union. Okay. Uh,

maybe we should start with the chief links worker union. You, you start walking left around the pond. Um, and he's like, yes, as you can see,

and the chief links are working hard, but in a safe working conditions. Um, yes. Uh, why does nobody wear hard hats like working in a ruin? Uh, uh, um, and he, he,

he stops for a second because he realized, oh shit, like there's like obviously rocks falling down from the canyons. It's really when they are, when you're digging into a wall, that is very tall. It's like, well, uh, you see the chief links have, uh,

built in a hard working hats through the horns. So the horns will deflect all the falling rocks. It's very efficient. And that's why they are great workers. Reese is that touching his own horns? Like, Hmm,

I mean, it sounds reasonable to me. Can you vouch for that? Um, yeah, you're the only tiefling in the group. I cannot, I don't know. Can I vouch for it? I guess you can roll. Um, let,

let's just roll an, an intelligence check. Oh, I'm very smart. Depends on how many times he's been hit in the head. Yeah. Yeah. Obviously. Yeah. You could argue for history. 22, 22.

You've been hit in the head quite often. And you're also a quick study, good at quick maps. And you realize, obviously the horns can cover the whole area of the head. That is, would be vulnerable to hits.

So I just, yeah, Reese's just want to, and then just point at his, uh, horns and then just shake his head. They look very safe. They are the safest horns.

Besides the other tieflings who have also very safe horns. That is not a thing. That is not a thing. Oh, okay. He says, okay, okay. Maybe, maybe we don't have the best, uh, worker conditions for sure. But,

um, but we, we can figure something out, right? Maybe we could, you could borrow a scorpion or two, and we will sort of overlook all this, uh, inspection stuff, huh?

Um, maybe only for the hard heads, but there's still more going on here. Uh, going, uh, what do you mean going on? I think we need to talk to some of your workers. Oh, um, sure.

Rhesus walks down to the closest tiefling, ask, sorry, sir, are you part of the tiefling union? What? Are you part of the tiefling union?

We are unionizing to make you a better work environment. What? What's a union? A union is where we unionize to make sure that you have some great,

so, so, so, but a union is where you unionize. Yes. Huh, that makes a lot of sense. Yes? Are you part of it? No, no, I, I don't think so. Oh, I'm very sorry, we can't help you today then. Goodbye.

oh, I would love, I would love to be part of this union. Ah, okay. Well, well, what does it take to be part of it? You're apart of it now. Oh, really?

And you just have to spread the word to make sure you're all unionized. Oh, okay. We will get you a hat and equal pay and get you three meals a day and a good night's rest and two breaks a day.

We get breaks and food? Yes. Oh, that's pretty good. You don't get that now? No. Now, see, that's a problem. That's a problem? That is a big problem. Are we supposed to get food and breaks? Everyone gets foods and break.

Wow. This is like, wow. You should spread the word. Maybe you can't tell, but I'm blown away right now. You look very blown away.

This is like a rock from a clear sky hitting my head. That's why you should have a hat as well. We get hats too. You get hats too. And I don't have to pay you anything.

No, your employer has to pay you. They have to pay us? Just dies. It's just too overwhelming. It dies.

So much information. Yeah, of course. So I just... I tell everyone that they need to sign up in the union. Yes. But they don't have to do anything. They just say that I'm in the union.

Exactly. Okay. But if you... I'm in the union. You are in the union, my friend. Did I do it right? Yes, you are. I put my hand on his shoulder. You are in the union. Oh, I can feel it.

I can feel the union inside me now. And maybe now that we've helped you, you can help us get some scorpions. Because you're not going to work. Yes. They're not going to give you what you deserve.

Okay, so roll a sort of persuasion on this. I don't want to see deception because you're not really deceiving here in a sense. Like, they do have bad work conditions. But you have it.

Oh. Like, he's in it. He's in it. Not 20. No, really? Yes. He's like... Unionizing. Yes, unionizing. Oh, yes.

Of course you're going to have some scorpions. You're going to have all the scorpions. All the scorpions. We don't need them anymore because now we get paid. Exactly. Okay, you're sure? But how many scorpions do you need? I'm sure they can...

They don't... Six. Six scorpions. And we will deliver them back so when you start working again, you have the scorpions so you don't have to carry all the heavy stuff yourself.

But when do we get the food and the bricks and the celery and all the great stuff and the hats? When your employer agrees to. And if he doesn't? If he doesn't agree to, you stop working. What? Unionizing.

Oh. Okay. Because you're not going to do it if you don't get food. No, I won't do it if I don't get food. And no one else is going to do it because if you have to stick together, that is why it's called a union. Oh.

Oh, that's... Oh, yes. Yes, I see. So if one person sticks out, then... Then we kill them. No. Okay. You unionize them. We unionize them with our swords. Like I unionized you.

Yes, I see. Oh. Oh. Okay. You just stick together. Okay. Okay. We'll do it. We stick together. Union. Yes, union. Union, go. Union, go.

Welcome to Lost in Hysteria, where Mikkel tries to explain what a union is in very simple terms, I guess. I liked it. I think it was excellent.

So good. I was moved. Thank you for sticking around to the end and listening to the second episode of Lost in Hysteria.

Next time, we'll figure out how the unionizing of the tiefling goes in the ruins, and if they actually find the temple they're looking for.

All the music that you heard in this podcast is produced by a guy called Ian from Tabletop RPG Music. Check out their Patreon. It's amazing music for Dungeons & Dragons.

So I'll see you back here, hopefully, in two weeks. Bye.