35. Beating Imposter Syndrome - Lessons From Motherhood
Jun 12, 2024
Christina Kohl
This week's episode of Her Next Chapters tackles the ever-present imposter syndrome that plagues many moms. Host Christina Kohl shares her own experience of feeling completely unqualified as a parent when bringing her newborn home from the hospital.
The episode explores the concept of imposter syndrome and how it manifests in motherhood, despite the lack of formal training. From figuring out breastfeeding to navigating potty training and teenage years, moms are constantly in "learn on the job" mode.
However, this constant challenge results in incredible skills. The episode highlights the valuable transferable skills developed through motherhood:
Problem-solving
Adaptability
Creative solutions
Resilience
Resourcefulness
Decision-making
Time management
The message is empowering: Moms who feel like imposters in other areas of life should remember their journey in motherhood. They've faced countless challenges with no training, yet figured it out. These skills are a superpower to be harnessed and applied to any future endeavor.
The episode concludes by encouraging listeners to recognize their growth as moms and to leverage their "improviser muscles" to conquer any new challenge that comes their way.
This week's episode of Her Next Chapters tackles the ever-present imposter syndrome that plagues many moms. Host Christina Kohl shares her own experience of feeling completely unqualified as a parent when bringing her newborn home from the hospital.
The episode explores the concept of imposter syndrome and how it manifests in motherhood, despite the lack of formal training. From figuring out breastfeeding to navigating potty training and teenage years, moms are constantly in "learn on the job" mode.
However, this constant challenge results in incredible skills. The episode highlights the valuable transferable skills developed through motherhood:
Problem-solving
Adaptability
Creative solutions
Resilience
Resourcefulness
Decision-making
Time management
The message is empowering: Moms who feel like imposters in other areas of life should remember their journey in motherhood. They've faced countless challenges with no training, yet figured it out. These skills are a superpower to be harnessed and applied to any future endeavor.
The episode concludes by encouraging listeners to recognize their growth as moms and to leverage their "improviser muscles" to conquer any new challenge that comes their way.
Hi and welcome to Her Next Chapter's podcast. I'm your host, C christina Kohl. I'm a mom of three and soon to be an empty nester. I'm also a certified HR pro who restarted my career after being a stay-at-home mom for over a decade. I created this podcast to connect with moms who have an empty nest on the horizon and are wanting to redefine their identity outside of motherhood, which might include a job search. On this show, we'll have raw conversations about our ever-changing roles as moms. We'll hear from women who restarted their careers and share tips for a job search after a career break. So if that's you, you're in the right place. Friend, let's get started. Welcome everyone to this week's episode of Her Next Chapters.
Christina Kohl:
As always, I'm so glad to have you join me, and this week on the podcast, I want to talk about something that I think all of us experience imposter syndrome. And I don't know about you, but when I first became a mom, I so did not feel like a mom. Yes, I had given birth and yes, I was holding my child, but I didn't feel like a mom because I didn't have any experience. I babysat the kid next door, but she was like 10. So I never really was around babies. So I wanted to take a few minutes to talk about imposter syndrome and motherhood. So if you haven't heard this term basically what it is it's feeling like a fraud and questioning your abilities, feeling like you have no right to be doing the things you're doing, that you have no experience. You're an imposter, you're faking it. And if you've ever heard the phrase, fake it till you make it, that came a long way before imposter syndrome. But so many of us feel this way, whether it's professionally or in social situations or as a mom. And I know for me, when I was sent home from the hospital with my newborn baby, I was like really, are you sure I've had the nurses 24 hours a day taking care of him and me and we were in the hospital? Well, he was in the hospital for about a week because he was in the ICU and some challenges that he had, but he was being cared for by professionals who did this for a living and they're sending this newborn baby home with me on oxygen with a special bottle feeder. He had a cleft lip and palate and couldn't nurse, and so I was having to figure out, learn how to pump and learn how to use this special bottle and learn how to diaper, and learn how to comfort him, and learn how to change him, and learn everything while being sleep deprived.
Christina Kohl:
And it's it's not and I'm not unique in that, right, we all who are moms, whether we've adopted or birthed a child, we have all Dealt with imposter syndrome in motherhood, right? I mean, I don't know, maybe some of you are like big sisters and you like, had years of experience, but I think a lot of people can relate to having no training for motherhood and not knowing what you're doing and yet you still figure it out. Right, and that's what I want to talk about is how motherhood, despite having no training, equips you to overcome imposter syndrome. In other areas of your life there's no formal training for parenthood. Maybe you're a big sister and you help take care of the babies in your household. That's awesome. I was a little sister, didn't have little kids around, and even still there's just so much to learn and you just kind of have to learn on the job. I mean, like I said, with the feeding struggles that I had, the learning to pump and feeding my baby, so I would feed him the bottle from the previous pump when he'd wake up in the night or whenever I would feed him that and I think I was overfeeding because I had to actually squirt it into his mouth, I mean. So this is unique stuff to my son and I, but it was I don't know what I'm doing and then just taking a deep breath right now because I'm getting stressed even thinking about it but I absolutely felt like an imposter when caring for my newborn child and it got better as time went on with other children once I had my second and my third, but still it's just not something you do, for very often, right, you get through those first few weeks somehow in the blur of sleepless nights and you do it.
Christina Kohl:
And not only the infant stage, but there's a constant learning curve as the children grow in their new development stages and new challenges. I mean, I remember teaching my oldest, my son, how to potty train, and I didn't know what I was doing because I was making it up as I went and it was a challenge. And then, okay, I got it figured out. Okay, I finally I got this, I got this down. Well, my daughter was completely different. Obviously, the anatomy is different, but her personality was different and potty training for her was completely different. So I had to learn it all over again as a parent, how to do it.
Christina Kohl:
So there's constantly this learning curve as the kids grow and as they go through all of their stages. We as moms are going through our learning curves as well. And, just you know, there's so many times I had self-doubt in the moments of questioning my abilities, you know, am I doing this right? And not just the little kid years, but as they get into the teen years, like how are we going to manage the? You know, they get their phones, so the digital things, like how do we manage screen time? How do we manage dating relationships from a parent perspective, you know? And then teaching them to drive it's like I've never taught anybody to drive before. And so there's always this long learning curve, this constant learning curve as our children grow, of not sure what we're doing right. So that's where we move from imposter to improviser. We are learning skills as we go, and there are so many skills that we've learned through motherhood and I'm putting all of us in that category and they're able to translate to other areas of our life, these skills.
Christina Kohl:
So think of problem solving, adapting to new situations and finding creative solutions, whether that's diaper blowouts. I remember I used to double diaper my kid because those diaper blowouts were messy To picky eaters. How to get them to eat something new. And we had in our household. Our kids eat broccoli and we would serve it with ranch dressing and we'd have them dip the broccoli in the ranch dressing. It was raw, just snacking on it and it's like snow on the trees. That was like their really cool thing because it was fun and I didn't do that growing up. It was just kind of something we picked up and like, how do I get my kids to eat vegetables? Well, we give them ranch dressing to dip it in, and then it's snow on the tree. So just, there's constantly we are, as moms, adapting to new situations and finding creative solutions and resilience.
Christina Kohl:
Oh boy, bouncing back from setbacks and failures Think of all the sleepless nights that you've had as a mom and even now with the teenagers, like is he home yet? Is he safe? Did he make it back? Resourcefulness, making do with limited resources and finding unexpected solutions. So do-it-yourself crafts at home, repurposing clothes, like how, like you know, making the boy's clothes look good for the girl? There's just you know so much that we do as moms that are resourcefulness and decision-making. Making countless daily decisions around discipline, routines, healthcare, just even meals, meal planning, time management.
Christina Kohl:
We, as moms, are juggling multiple responsibilities and maximizing efficiency. Have anyone laundry fold fold their clothes while breastfeeding? I did. These days I fold my laundry while I'm watching TV. That's my way of like feeling less guilty that I'm sitting down to watch a show. I'm also folding laundry. So definitely time management. So there are so many things that we, so many skills that we've learned through motherhood. You know, like I said, from imposter to improviser, we are improvising and learning these skills on the job without training problem solving, resilience, resourcefulness, decision-making, time management, just to name a few.
Christina Kohl:
So if you've been feeling the symptoms of imposter syndrome in parts of your life, I just want to make sure that you go back and take a moment to recognize how much you've grown as a mom and as a person over your journey of parenthood. Motherhood is an incredible training ground for overcoming imposter syndrome, because we started out as imposters. We're not moms, we don't know what we're doing, but yet we figured it out, and I'll bet you figured it out really well and you've done an amazing job, and so this is something that you can take into other areas of your life, whether it's your career, starting a business, starting just moving into a new community, anything new that you're facing. It's just like when you brought home that infant, that newborn 100% dependent on you to live. Just like then, you figured it out. You will figure it out today for your new challenges that are in front of you. You have those muscles. You've done it, and by muscles, obviously, I'm not talking about our arms. I'm talking about the ability to do things that are challenging and new and have no training, but yet we figure it out and we improvise, and those are all things and skills that you can apply to your next chapter.
Christina Kohl:
All right, everyone. That is it for this week's episode. As always, I hope it was helpful and I will talk to you next week. Thank you so much for listening today. I hope this episode hit home for you and, if you haven't already, be sure to connect with me on LinkedIn and say hello so I can personally thank you for listening. Until next time, remember your story is uniquely your own and your next chapters are ready to begin.