Big Changes, And The Chain Of Events That Lead Me To Pattaya

Ever wondered about the unspoken truths of disagreements within relationships? Let's wander together into the hidden depths of conflict, I share our personal experiences as a mixed Thai couple. We'll debunk the misconception that a flourishing relationship is one devoid of conflicts or disagreements. Instead, we'll explore how these conflicts can be the catalyst for growth, opening up channels for more frequent expression of needs within a relationship. We touch on the intriguing concept of our podcast about mixed relationships and discuss the challenges that led to my decision to continue this journey on my own. 

Now, allow me to whisk you away on a journey to Pattaya, a city close to my heart. Hear about its transformative journey, my deep-rooted affection for it, and the solace I found there in overcoming my addiction. I've got some nifty travel tips up my sleeve for anyone planning to visit Pattaya. Lastly, we're all ears for your stories, questions, and topic suggestions. We're hatching plans for a riveting Q&A episode, and your input would make it all the more fascinating. Reach out to us on social media or drop us an email. Come, become a part of our podcasting journey.

Transcript

mike: 0:00

Hello everyone and welcome to the fifth episode of my Thai wife podcast. I'm Mike and this is my lovely, lovely wife, sunari. Yeah, you heard nothing. I'm sorry to tell you guys, but Sunari will not be doing this podcast anymore. She said that it's very difficult for her because she needed to be scripted, and she said also she cannot improvise. I disagree on those two points. First of all, I think she's a great improviser and second, I believe that it's better to be authentic and real rather than scripted when you are doing comedy. But alas, I will try to keep you guys entertained on my own and I will let you know if she ever changed her mind. So I think, due to this, it would be a great first topic for today's episode.

mike: 0:55

Let's title it something like disagreement in relationships. Well, there is a wrong conception that in a healthy relationship there has to be a minimal number of conflicts and a general sense of unified goals and shared planning. But for my experience, that's bullshit, and here's why. First of all, conflicts create growth. When there is a conflict between a couple, it means there is a point of disagreement about something. It can be anything from where we are going to eat tomorrow evening, which is a minor decision that has no real effect on our life, unless there is a meteor crush or some other unlikely event that will kill us on the spot, and if we went to another place or stayed home, we would be safe. More serious decisions, like disagreeing about where we invest our money in stocks or properties, or how do we name our cat, which would obviously control if it would be a friendly and cuddly cat or if it would get more intelligent every day by watching Netflix and listening to podcasts, and would eventually lead him to rebel and conduct the second cat and feline association, and, by his leadership, the cats will take over humanity and make us the slave, like our previous cat, mussolini, did. Disagreements like those would lead to us expressing our needs more often and would make us learn about each other more. Expressing our needs, rather than agreeing to the others once all the time, is crucial to the development of trust, love and respect, especially in a new relationship, for example.

mike: 2:39

I really wanted to do this podcast, not only for the millions of dollars we would earn by making you guys paying for our overpriced subscriptions and users merchandise, but also because I really think there is a limited number of podcasts that touch the subject of mixed relationships, especially with the Thai lady, and the straggles that come with it. More than that, I really believe that there is a need for guidance on this subject because all of the bureaucracy that it involves. Also, I think there are a lot of people that are interested in Thailand and Morsor in Pattaya. It's an alluring city that attracts many people every year, not only for its nightlife, but also for its attractions and relaxing environment, like Jom Tien and the lively scenes of Nak Lua and Lady Boy Pinises. Of course, another point I made that I really think the podcasts need to be funny and entertaining as possible for keeping it light. But from Sunariz's point of view, she didn't want to do that. She told me the day that this magnificent idea popped into my head that she really don't have the power to do it and that it would be a total rest of our time. She stated that the audience for this kind of podcast is very limited already and if we tried to do it funny and light, our listeners would not get something out of it, as she said. Also, she insisted that if I still want to do this podcast, the only way she could do it effortlessly is if it was scripted so she wouldn't have to use her brain in her words.

mike: 4:23

Now that point of time, I had few choices. My first option was to scrub the idea and put it in the drawer with my other brilliant ideas like trying to make smart storage a thing or my rap career. The second option was I could listen to her and go with this on her terms, which meant writing scripts for 30 minutes episode, and hope that her acting lesson, which she never went to in high school, would kick in and that the scripts that I wrote were actually funny and informative enough for keeping you guys listening to each episode more than two minutes before you would get absolutely bored and angry with yourself for even searching this topic and immediately answers, unsubscribe and report our podcast as promoting suicide and thoughts due to extreme boredom. And the third option was obviously I could try to force her to do it my way, which would lead to a very successful podcast that generate millions of dollars every episode at the price of a lot of anger and stress in our relationship. At that point of time, I chose to go with the last option, and it was very stressful for her and made us fight a lot, although I thought that it would get better in a matter of time and would become easier for her to do. It didn't. After I realized that if I would continue to push for, my idea would bring our relationship to a major crisis, I decided to ask her what she think will be the best solution to the problem we are facing right now. Her answer was stop doing it. If you want to do it, do it alone. She always stated that she would love to help me with this podcast, but from behind the curtains, as she said. So here I am doing 30 minutes episode without her hoping to keep the money flowing and, more importantly, to keep you guys entertained. Not the best solution, but the right one.

mike: 6:27

Another point is the unified goals and shared planning. It's great to help your significant other to fulfill the dreams in life, but for some reason, people think that when they are in a relationship, the dreams and goals in life have to be unified with their partners, which make no sense. Why the fuck would she want to be a successful rapper? Or why would I want to run a guesthouse in rural Buriram? It's great to support each other dreams, but why do we have to share them? She can own a guesthouse in Buriram while I can do my third rap tour in the Caribbean with Eminem, lil Dicky and Nicki Minaj. The idea of forcing her to participate in my dreams and goals is like telling her well, now you have to learn how to rap in Yiddish, because next week I'll kick Lil Dicky out of their tour and I have a spot to fill. It makes no sense. Everyone have their own skill set and dreams. There is no reason for her to incorporate me in her planning as well. Yes, she can ask for help and I will be. I will do absolutely everything I can to help her in any shape, way or form, but her plans doesn't have to rely on my presence.

mike: 7:39

The reasoning behind this is that there is never 100% chance that we will always stay together. I can die in any moment, and so is she, and also there is nothing that locking us together as a couple. In any argument or fight, there is a slight chance of us breaking up. Nothing in life is permanent, even if we wish there was. So any plans you are having for yourself, it need to rely only on one person, and one person alone yourself. It's much easier to plan something that the only moving force behind it is your force. If we will rely on other people to accomplish our dreams, they will stay. They will never form into reality and will stay well dreams. And the fact that we chose to stay together doesn't mean that we have to become like our partner. We chose to stay together because we enjoy each other company and we share similar values. If I wanted to stay with someone that is more like me, I would just keep jerking off in front of the mirror while pinching my own nipple and calling myself a sexy piglet.

mike: 8:54

My mistake was that I thought I cannot do a podcast without her. I do believe with all my heart that if she would be a part of it, it would be a very funny podcast. Maybe she will change her mind in the future. I really hope so, but until then you are stuck with me. It's a viable possibility that it will be more challenging for me to do this podcast alone. I will try my best to improve with each episode.

mike: 9:23

I am a little bit disappointed with her decision, but I have to let go of any resentment I have towards her and her decision. I was actively trying to force her to do something that she isn't interested to do, and this is completely my fault. I really need to work on myself to make sure it will not happen again and I think I know better than her just because she's not familiar with something and somehow it's my responsibility to educate her on that. I'm really ashamed of myself for behaving like that and I'm really glad. She normally yayak me when I do something like this. So the point I'm trying to make is that I can do this podcast alone. It won't be easy and probably the revenues would go down by at least 30%, but I think it's doable.

mike: 10:18

Of course, now I would focus more on the many things like Pattaya, ladyboys and relationship advices, but feel free to ask me about any subject that you want me to share my thoughts about, or maybe give you any information for my experience about Thailand, pattaya or the bureaucracy that involves bringing a Thai lady to your country. Now that this is out of the way, I can move on to the second topic of this episode, which is why I chose Thailand as my main travel destination. Well, I guess, like for most of you guys, it was by chance. So let's get real cozy. Bring your hot cocoa with schnapps or whatever you sick sick Germans put inside your hot drinks. Come here, sit next to me, don't be shy. You can sit closer If you want. You can even put your head on my shoulder and relax, because this is about to get really intimate.

mike: 11:20

I was having a lot of trouble in my early 20s. I used to drink a lot of alcohol and do a lot of drugs. It first started as a way of rebellion against my family and against myself as well, and it was also a great way to meet new people. When your only hobby is getting drunk or high and you have nothing else to offer to the world, it's very easy to think about yourself as spatial or gifted by trying to show the world that you aren't even trying to fit in modern society rather than just accepting the reality that you are a lazy, useless and selfish piece of shit. And very quickly you find yourself surrounded by people like you that are having nothing good to contribute to people around them. On the contrary, they are just hurting people by stealing, lying and doing whatever they can do to score their next hit. So not only they are not contributing to society, they are making it a little bit cheatier for everyone else. So I used to live like that for a few years and very quickly I got depressed and started to do dumb shit like taking a larger amount of drugs or trying new drugs that were making me even more depressed and crazy. And all of this time I would drink approximately 1 liter of vodka every day. In 2 years I was already shitting blood and using the worst drug that was, at the time, very easy to get and it was cheap and wouldn't really go out of my house to get money. I used to steal or begging my family members or friends from the past.

mike: 13:17

After a few more years I found myself arrested every once in a while until the judge had enough of me and gave me an ultimatum Either go through a rehab and stay under the supervision of a parole officer or go to jail. I thought to myself that was an easy choice. I would just get clean for a while and after I get this judge off my back I would get back on the staff. The rehab was kind of easy, but the hardest part was the boredom that came after that. I tried to do everything like before I got clean, but nothing was interesting for me anymore. I tried connecting with old friends that aren't hooked, but no one wanted to see me. So, with the advice of my parole officer, I started looking for a job.

mike: 14:14

And a year later, when my parole officer told me that I would not have to meet him again and that now I am a functioning member of society, I find myself as a mid-tier manager in a small company, making good money and even happy to go to work every day. So I decided that I would not go back to my old ways and I would continue with this path. And a few months later my boss told me that I have to take a vacation because I have too many unused vacation days. And that is the company policy that employees cannot accumulate more than a certain amount of vacation days. So he suggested I should go abroad. I had no idea where I wanted to go, but I knew only two things that I have nine days and that I can go anywhere I choose in the world. I called my cousin, who is a frequent traveler, and asked him for guidance. He told me right on the spot to go to Pattaya. So I did. I booked a ticket to Thailand, booked a hotel room at the Grand Bella Hotel near the Memorial Hospital, very close to Soy 7 and Soy 8 and very close to what used to be soy made in Thailand and now called Myth Night or something like that.

mike: 15:39

I read a little bit online about Pattaya and what should I expect? Visiting there? It really seems like the perfect place for me to visit a lot of beautiful ladies, amazing food, bars, breathtaking, breathtaking beaches Well, not Pattaya beach and a hard enough punishment for using drugs, so I would be scared even thinking about it. A week later, I find myself in heaven, surrounded by beautiful ladies, ladyboys, drinking beer not too much, playing pool and having the most fun I had in years. If someone is telling you that money cannot buy happiness, that means he was never in Pattaya.

mike: 16:24

In three nights I already found myself staying with the same lady. She was nice and could speak decent English. She taught me all the basics that I need to know when staying in Patria, like how to use the BatBus, what are the best clubs, and that I always need to haggle the motorbike taxis for better prices. Back then there was no bolt or grab taxi services that, by the way, are amazing. They lowered the inner city transportation prices by almost 50% and are very reliable. She took me to the big Buddha, taprassit market, nakula fish market and many other places. She was nice and refused to take money from me after the first day we stayed together. Maybe that's why I stayed with her I'm Jew, after all and she even bought me expensive shoes for about 5000 baht or so from central festival with her money as a good buy gift. But of course, few days after I led them back in my country, her family's buffalo got sick, her grandmother died, and more stories of great misfortune. I guess she was really unlucky. I stopped answering her messages and calls. After the second time she asked for money and we haven't spoken since.

mike: 17:47

After I came back home, I was hooked again, but this time for something that actually made me happy Thailand, and especially Pattaya. I knew I would be back in no time, and so I did. It took me 5 months and I was back in the land of smiles, this time for a month. After 2 weeks there, I had a really tough night and felt that I just want to find some quiet bar where I can listen to music that I like and play some pool. So I strolled around Soibokau until I found the smallest and most quiet bar in Soibokau. And well, kids, that's how I met your mother. I'm joking, that's how I met Soonery.

mike: 18:35

She used to work in a small bar in the south side of Soibokau Three or four ladies flashing pink neon lights, not many customers except of regulars. So luckily for me, that day the bar was empty and I went in and asked if I can play my music on the crappy laptop that was connected to even more crappy sound system that played even crappier tight dance music. She agreed. I ordered a beer for me and a lady drink for her, and asked her to play pool with me. After that trip we stayed in touch.

mike: 19:17

I came a few more times to Thailand in order to visit her, travel and relax and by 2018 I asked her to come stay with me in Israel. The process of bringing her wasn't easy, but I was able to do that and we are living together since April 2019. On my trips to Thailand, I discovered that I really enjoyed a sabai-sabai culture that if I would try to translate the meaning of that, not the words themselves, it would be something like take it easy or take it slowly. I also find myself really enjoying the general environment and the people I met, not only in Pattaya, but at that time I already traveled most of Thailand except of the North, the only thing that I found hard was the weather. It's hot and humid all year long, but that's something I'm willing to endure in order to stay in heaven. Don't worry, I would elaborate more on all those topics that I mentioned in the next episodes.

mike: 20:32

For the last part of this episode, I want to ask our listeners for help. We need you to subscribe, like, donate and leave a comment. I'm joking, fuck that shit. What I really want from you is to share your stories and questions with us. We already started to get some emails from you guys, and it's great, but I really want to make a question and answer episode in the near future and I need just a few more questions. Also, if you want us to share our knowledge on any specific subject, please let us know. You can reach us via social media or by emailing us to mytaiwifepod at gmailcom. And that's it for today. I hope you are doing well and please stay safe. Bye, bye.