Gary Chapman is the author of the landmark book entitled, “The 5 Love Languages.” It offers powerful and practical insights into yourself and your loved ones, to help you to communicate love in the way that best registers with the recipient. I highly recommend this book. I will include a link in the show notes to purchase a copy. But Gary’s life story that prepared him to write this book is quite surprising. See if you agree.
Gary and his wife had a vision to go to the mission field. So, he went to seminary, pastored for several years (because the mission boards recommended this), then went back to seminary for his PhD (again, at the mission board recommendation) - all in faithful study and preparation for the mission field. When he graduated, he applied to the mission board, to be missionaries to Nigeria… and he was turned down (because his wife had developed a health condition). As he and his wife searched for God’s will for his life following this devastating news, he decided that if he could not teach on the mission field, then perhaps he should teach here in the US. So, he applied to 27 Christian colleges… and got a “no” answer from all 27. He finally found a small Christian college in North Carolina that needed a teacher, and he taught there for 3 years. Then a local pastor invited him to join their staff and head up a college ministry. He did, and has continued to be on their staff to this day – 50 years!
He also did counseling while on staff. After many years of counseling, one day he got an idea. “Is it possible that, if I go back through all of my counseling records, I will find that the communication problems of my clients fall into common categories?” When he did that, he discovered 5 common areas of miscommunication. As he shared these 5 common areas, he realized how helpful it was to his clients in his counseling. He also found that these concepts had wonderful benefits for his own marriage.
From this research, in 1992 he wrote “The 5 Love Languages.” It has now sold over 12 million copies, and has been on the New York Times bestseller list since 2009 – one of the longest runs of any book on that list. It has been printed in over 50 languages.
Each time the publisher releases a new language edition of the book, they send a box of those books to Gary. Gary and his wife pray over that edition, asking God to minister to the countries and people groups of this new language edition. One day, as Gary was opening one of these boxes, he noticed that his wife was in tears. When he asked her what was wrong, she said that she had just realized that God had fulfilled their vision from so many years prior (to reach people in foreign lands) in a totally unexpected way, and in numbers far greater than they could have imagined – through the world-wide publishing of this book in so many languages. They both cried in realization of this amazing, supernatural fulfillment of their vision from so many years ago. They have impacted not just one people group, but more than 50 (and counting)!
This story reminded me of a principle that my wife and I were taught, in the early years of our marriage. It is the principle of the ways of God, as displayed in the birth, death, and supernatural fulfillment of a vision in our lives. Gary Chapman experienced the birth, death, and supernatural fulfillment of his vision to reach people in a foreign land.
There are many examples of this principle recorded in Scripture. Here are just two:
Abraham had a vision of being the father of a great nation. But Sarah, his wife, was barren and became too old to have children (death of a vision). God gave Abraham and Sarah a son in their old age, who became the father of a great nation (supernatural fulfillment of a vision).
The disciples of Jesus had a vision of establishing and being an important part of the Kingdom of God. But the disciples witnessed Jesus being killed by the very ones He came to save, and being buried in a tomb (death of a vision). Then God raised Jesus from the dead, and great miracles were performed by the disciples until the Gospel had spread through the known world (supernatural fulfillment of a vision).
In the “death of a vision” phase, it is easy for us to allow subtle, deceptive thoughts and doubts from Satan to enter our mind. (“Is God really with me in this?”) Satan’s purpose is to rob us of our joy in the Lord, and to set us up for discouragement, anxiety, and depression. But God wants us to use the vision that He has given us as a powerful motivator to continue through this time of discouragement by seeking Him.
Php 3:13-14 ESV Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, (14) I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Heb 12:1b-2a NASB Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, (2) fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith.
The good news is that, as we are faithful to continue seeking the Lord, and doing the things He directs us to do, He will then supernaturally fulfill our vision in ways we never would have imagined. His supernatural fulfillment of our vision will sometimes look different than what we expected, but it is always better than what we expected. His supernatural fulfillment of our vision reminds us that we cannot do it by ourselves – we need Him! And in this process, we learn more of the ways of God.
Today, I encourage you to “Reflect on This.”