Connecting with Youth- Faith Sharing

One of the most important but seemingly difficult responsibilities our parents have is to share our faith with our kids.  In todays episode we talk about strategies and what to talk about to help empower families to have those important conversations

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Transcript

Faith Sharing With Youth

Speaker 1 0:00

Welcome to Brain-Based Parenting, the Boys Ranch podcast for families. We all know how hard being a parent is, and sometimes it feels like there are no good answers to the difficult questions families have when their kids are struggling. Our goal each week will be to try and answer some of those tough questions, utilizing the knowledge, experience and professional training Cal Farley's Boys Ranch has to offer. Now here is your host, Cal Farley's Staff Development Coordinator, Joshua Sprock.

Speaker 2 0:34

Welcome back and thank you for joining us today as we continue talking about brain-based parenting. Today we're going to talk about faith sharing with youth. To do that, I'm joined by Sol Pittman, isaac Siemens, daniel Anima and William Schmidt Howdy. All right, so we always start with our question of the day and since we're talking about faith sharing today, I thought I'd ask you guys what is either your favorite thing to share on social media or what is something that makes you cringe when you see someone else post something on social media? So what do you guys think?

Speaker 4 1:00

Well, something that I would cringe normally on would be like seeing a post by somebody saying if you share this, then you'll see who your next like 10 best friends are, or whatever, and it's like no, I'm not going to click on that, it's just clickbait. Yeah, that's rough.

Speaker 3 1:17

Yeah, to receive a blessing from the Lord. And they send some, you know, they send some, you know inspirational scripture quote and it's like if you want this to come true, then share this with you know, another 10 people on Facebook or something like that. Yeah, I kind of, I kind of try to like guilty into it. Guilty into it, evangelism guilt or something like that.

Speaker 5 1:39

I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, that's. That's what I was going to say. Was the sharing on Facebook, because the person's always so genuine and it's like why would you fall for that?

Speaker 6 1:48

Yeah, I think the ones where kind of what Sol was saying, where they press this button and you can see what your next five years of life will be like.

Speaker 4 1:56

And.

Speaker 6 1:56

Sol said, making tons of money and having like a nice house and everything it's like, probably not.

Speaker 2 2:02

So I love sharing pictures of my food food, I know that's like the lamest thing, but I don't know. I love, like, wherever I go, I like take pictures of my food. So if you follow me on facebook, be prepared for that. So today our topic is faith sharing with you. But before we get into that, I've heard, you know, mixed reports about our society that there's maybe not a desire young people to connect with christianity. Do you think that's true?

Speaker 4 2:24

I do think that it's very especially for men. If you go to, especially like with Hillsong churches, if you look around the population it's mostly females and I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that it's worship focused and it seems like women are more willing to show up to church if you have a lot of worship, good worship and that spiritual essence but it's also being sacrificed for this intellectual content that I think men really particularly men, women too, but men really do crave the intellectual side of things and that's.

Speaker 3 2:55

You know, I think, with youth and their desire to connect to Christianity and society, I'd probably argue on the contrary. I think that youth have a large desire to learn more about Christianity, to understand religion more, understand what that looks like in terms of doctrine and stuff. I think, though, that we've had a larger hesitation from the adult side of society to share those things. I just don't think that there's a whole lot of Maybe adults aren't. They don't think that there's a whole lot of maybe adults aren't. They don't necessarily know all the answers, so therefore they're uncomfortable with sharing. Maybe there's some social sort of taboos they weren't necessarily taught themselves. But I really think that, at least with the kids that we work with, there's a desire to know more, but it almost seems like the adults they go to just aren't answering their questions.

Speaker 2 3:46

That's so interesting, so the kids are hungry for it but the adults really aren't looking to feed them.

Speaker 3 3:50

Exactly, yeah, we don't have a whole lot of, we don't have a whole lot of cooks. I guess in the religious world we got a lot. We got a lot of customers though that are eager for it, but not just for those short little. Maybe those fast food answers the like you know, the little religious cliches. They're looking for something a little bit deeper, but they're just not getting those answers here.

Speaker 2 4:11

What are you guys saying? Or what has been your experience in working with the kids.

Speaker 6 4:15

I think there's just a lot of. Especially in today's culture, it's a lot easier to access things that give you joy. Problem with that is it's such short-term stuff and the kids crave that Especially. You know, you notice it a lot with our kids is, instead of looking to God, a lot of the time they will look into things like you know drugs or relationships, or trying to find happiness through sports, and some of those things like are good things. You know sports and relationships, but they have a twisted view of it, so they keep on searching for that and searching for that. They won't turn to it, to Christianity. But that is one of the cool things about our job is we're able to just say like hey, guys, this is the answer.

Speaker 6 4:56

Like following God is what brings you joy, so that's cool All right?

Speaker 2 5:00

So when it does come to sharing your faith, what would you say is the best place to start when you're wanting to talk to a kid?

Speaker 4 5:06

Well, chaplain Wilhelm recently had me read this book. I think he had Daniel read it too, and he gives you the kind of format for laying it, sharing your truth. And it was me, we God, we you, and I've always found that that's kind of. You know, sharing my testimony first helps them to relate to me. That kind of gives the grounds for laying the faith.

Speaker 2 5:26

It gives them something to latch on to right.

Speaker 3 5:28

Yeah, I'm going to maybe say kind of a cliche answer, but I think that the first thing that you need to do when sharing the faith with anyone young person or old is really going to be a relationship. I'll steal a quote that Daniel uses. This is a quote from Theodore Roosevelt People don't care what you know until they know that you care. And so I mean I think Paul says I could have all things, all wisdom, but without love it's nothing. And it really shows, if you don't have that relationship, if you don't have that love, if you're not invested in that person, I really don't think that that soil is going to be tilting up enough for you to really sow any seeds that are going to land. I think you need to put in those hours, you need to put in that relationship, loosen up that soil, and then you're going to see a lot of stuff. You're going to see the Holy Spirit break through and a lot of stuff fall into place.

Speaker 6 6:19

Yeah, I completely agree with that. A relationship has to be where you start building that foundation, showing that you care, and then eventually building off of.

Speaker 3 6:28

That is really what makes it happen you know I'm so hypocritical of that because I say that and then there were times where I would try, you know, street evangelism or, you know, just like you know, passing out some stuff to strangers, and it was like and I I'm not going to go as far as say there isn't a place for that, because I think that there have been some great stuff that has come of that ministry. But especially in the environment we work with, especially when you're with at-risk youth people that maybe had negative relationships with other people and stuff, I think it's going to make it that much more important that they get to see the Holy Spirit manifested, people made in the image of God. They get to see that when they look at you and not just someone that might be hurting them or trying to, you know, just make a sales pitch to you, you know.

Speaker 2 7:15

Yeah, sometimes that's what it feels like and you're walking down the street, someone hits you up, it's a. What are they selling? And I just always try to avoid eye contact and all that, and I'm willing to buy what they're selling too. It's just, I don't know. So then, what might be some potential pitfalls people should try to avoid when it comes to trying to share their faith with youth? What's going to be something that might trip them up or have them put their shields up where they're not going to hear what you guys have to say?

Speaker 6 7:37

Trying to become God for them? Oh Yourself, yeah, trying to be, don't be fake. With kids, with youth, it doesn't work. They're a lot smarter than you know. They let on a lot of the time. They see through things really well. So putting up like some defense where they can only see you as this perfect Christian, it's going to lead to disaster. That's just the truth, because as soon as you mess up everything that you've said now, they don't trust anything Because well, if he messes up in this area, there's probably other things he does too. So being vulnerable with them and not building up that, you know I am perfect. Look at me, to look at God.

Speaker 5 8:17

I also think that to some extent, we talked about I don't know if this is the right word for it, but we talked about Christian cliches or even like Christian language. So, for instance, like we, we know that the Bible teaches us that like is the blood of Jesus that purified us and all that stuff. But to some extent to youth, like saying like the blood of Jesus did this and this and like to some extent that language is kind of like understand what?

Speaker 2 8:40

they don't get it because they don't have the background.

Speaker 5 8:43

So I think to some extent like the initial Christian language that that a seasoned Christian understands to youth is kind of off-putting in my opinion.

Speaker 4 8:53

So I think I'd probably say for this, for myself, trusting that the kids you know that they do have real big, deep questions and instead of, you know, whenever they come to me and they have these big questions, that sort of challenge my own faith, instead of shutting them down, just trusting that and letting them, letting them air those, air those questions to me and trying to honor them in that, I think that that would be, that would be something that you'd want to keep in mind if you're trying to start a youth group. You know, letting them, letting them have those big questions and trying to trying to answer them, instead of shutting them down, yeah.

Speaker 2 9:26

I think it's okay.

Speaker 4 9:27

I mean because they do have those big questions.

Speaker 2 9:29

We all have those big questions, to tell them that maybe we don't know, that's why they're big questions. But what do you think about then? How do you kind of answer those questions then?

Speaker 6 9:38

That's a good question. Let me read my Bible. I'll get back to you.

Speaker 3 9:41

Yeah, find a passage.

Speaker 6 9:43

I'll get back to you.

Speaker 3 9:53

I think it can be helpful in those circumstances to maybe give them multiple ways that multiple theologians have decided to approach the topic. So I mean, if you know we got those, you know some really big. You know, if you got some topics that you know, maybe the church, there's multiple denominations that have, you know, different views and I found that I can tell them what I believe on it personally and then I can point them direction that okay, hey, well, maybe there's some theologians that think this way on the subject and maybe there's some that think this way. So you don't have to tell them that there's only necessarily one way. That's right. You can show them that you know there are different people that you know might disagree about some particular subject, but that doesn't discredit them from being brothers in Christ.

Speaker 5 10:30

I think I found myself doing that a lot this year and I agree with Will I think it's important to because, like we do have this interpretation that we believe, but, at the same time, like I have the understanding, I think to some extent we should be humble enough to have the understanding that, like, okay, my interpretation could be wrong.

Speaker 2 10:47

And so like to some extent I do yeah.

Speaker 5 10:50

I agree with William where it's like there's almost like an allowance for human failure in it because, again, like your interpretation could be wrong and you could be breaking off relationships and splitting churches, all this stuff over, like this belief that is potentially could be wrong, you know, and so I find myself doing that a lot Just, it's almost like a safeguard for their heart as well. You teach them that there is a truth out there, but I don't necessarily know what the truth is on this subject.

Speaker 5 11:13

And so seek the truth, and the truth will set you free, but I just don't really have the answer. But here's your option, kind of thing. I don't know that's good I think they respect that.

Speaker 2 11:23

if you kind of phrase it that way, If you just blow them off and say I don't know. Then they off and say I don't know and they'll be like, well, maybe this isn't real then, is that what you guys are saying?

Speaker 1 11:30

No, that's yeah.

Speaker 2 11:31

So I grew up in the nineties and, um, back then there was this kind of well-intentioned belief from adults that you had to make church as fun as possible for kids. We listened to a lot of veggie tales and just played games a lot, and then if there's like five minutes left in the time, they'd be like oh yeah, I guess we should probably do some type of lesson or something like that. And it seems like people my age there's a lot of people kind of fell away from Christianity because of that, because life isn't always fun. And so what do you think about might be a better strategy to draw kids into faith and just telling them it's going to be fun all the time?

Speaker 4 12:03

I don't think that you have to sacrifice fun, but I don't think that you should substitute fun for real good things such as, you know, truth doctrine. That can't be substituted with just fun and games. So I think that, yeah, that is a danger.

Speaker 2 12:17

Yeah, I heard someone say we expect our high school kids to do calculus, trigonometry, history, and then don't think that they can handle theology, which I think is crazy.

Speaker 6 12:26

Yeah, yeah, I mean Jesus kind of addresses it with the parable of the sower right when he's talking about you know where the seeds get thrown. You have the ones that go down into the ground and they shoot up really fast and the sun comes out and they shrivel and die and it's like it's kind of that same idea.

Speaker 6 12:42

If you don't have any deep roots in theology, like I'm talking about, or in a deep understanding what a relationship with God means, you're going to have that you know quick. Oh, this is really fun, and the sun comes out you know, things and something hard happens, it's like, well, maybe not so fun anymore, Walk away from it. So, yeah, probably this connects back to the other thing that was really just about relationships still building the relationships with kids, making sure they have that firm foundation and deep-rooted faith in God.

Speaker 2 13:10

Yeah, I've heard it said what you win someone with is what you have to keep them with. And if you win them with fun, fun goes away. But, like you said, the relationships. I think that's so key.

Speaker 5 13:21

That's why that's so important and that's what I was going to say was I think fun is only sustainable for so long. You can only do so many things before. Eventually you literally just will run out of things to do or you'll have to start repeating old things, and so I think fun is only sustainable for so long. But again, it sounds like a Christian cliche, but I think His Word is enduring forever. His Word will always be fresh and stuff, and so yeah, I think it would be hard to sustain that for me.

Speaker 2 13:46

Yeah, the gospel's been good enough for 2000 years. I don't know, adding more to it is always dangerous.

Speaker 3 13:52

And I think it is a fine line because I have seen the other side of it, where they were, you know, been part of churches that almost not consider fun to be a sin but definitely separate it.

Speaker 3 14:06

And I remember I mean I would sit in a pew and it could be an hour and a half long and it would be, you know, I was like either a young adult or something and it's hard to it's hard to find the motivation to come back and try and resist falling asleep, you know, on a Sunday morning. So I've seen both sides of it and I really think there is a, I think there's a healthy medium to it. I'm all for tie-ins, I love that. I think hands-on activity there's so many studies now that are showing that hands-on learning, experimental learning, really helps you, helps you retain that information a lot more. And so when I see youth group leaders that bring out these really fun tie-in exercises, you know, and stuff like that for devotionals, I'm all for that Because the kids they get to do these things physically and then they get to understand theologically what they were portraying and stuff. So I always think that those things are kind of cool.

Speaker 2 15:00

So what about the role of technology? How has that played into sharing your faith with kids? I do not like technology.

Speaker 4 15:07

I'm terrible at using it. That being said, these guys they've managed to do it well. They integrate it and incorporate it and they're sharing a faith very, very well and it fits right in. But I think my problem was is that I relied on it too much and I had no backup plan, so whenever it failed me, I just everything fell apart. So I I won't. I try and use as little technology as I possibly can.

Speaker 3 15:31

Yeah, I mean I think I don't want to use the term necessary evil, because I think I think that it's. I mean it's more than that. But I mean, if we just face the facts, we we are with a you know people group that uses technology a lot. I mean even in the classroom nowadays. Teachers, I mean, if you're a good teacher, you're using PowerPoints. It's just not out of books anymore, they're PowerPoints. They have laptops, they have, you know, educational learning sites.

Speaker 3 15:58

So the way that we're hardwiring kids to learn nowadays is usually with technology. When they see technology, a lot of times they see fun. But if they're in a see technology, a lot of times they see fun. But if they're in a classroom setting, a lot of times they also see that as okay. It's time to learn. And so I found that when I do use audio visual aids with PowerPoints or you can use different clips from movies or stuff like that, or even having them listen to a scripture reading for the day, I do find that they seem to be more attentive to the knowledge or just to learning from that and seem to have some more questions too. Now it can be hard, because sometimes if you're showing something that's really fun on technology, you know, then they can kind of jump to a more of like this is a game sort of mode and not take it seriously. But I do think that the way kids are hardwired to learn nowadays involves technology and I think we're kind of doing ourself a disservice to rid us of that tool.

Speaker 2 16:53

I'm like you, so I'm bad with technology.

Speaker 1 16:55

But it is what they like.

Speaker 2 16:56

You said it's what the kids know, and so it's important. I think that we have to adapt ourselves, because it's not going away. What about y'all? Have you guys had any ways that you've used technology that might be helpful?

Speaker 6 17:07

y'all. Have you guys had any ways that you've used technology that might be helpful? Uh, yeah, I mean just having uh for doing stuff for youth group having videos to show, uh someday, school videos to show powerpoints to use, um, different things like that. It's also nice, you know, you don't have to carry a study bible in your pocket. You know, but you can because you have your phone. So anytime a kid has a question, it's like you don't even a the time. You don't even have to know the exact reference.

Speaker 6 17:29

You can type in a few keywords and it'll come up with a verse, you know. So it kind of does make things easier in that sense when you really need an answer quickly. It's also been good just having kids say, hey, I've got a question about this and they'll text you hey, I've got a question about this. It gives you a lot more time to think through your answer instead of having to come up with something on the spot. So I personally found it very helpful. I love using technology to share my faith.

Building Relationships With Brain-Based Parenting

Speaker 2 17:53

I know for me like this is total tangent, but when I take notes in church I used to pencil and paper, but I can't read my own handwriting. So now I have my tablet and I type it and I can actually go back and study my notes. If it's something that I like, I can copy and paste it and text it to a friend or my mom or my brothers. That's kind of nice too. Yeah, all right, thank you guys for all the great insight and thank you for spending time with us today. I have faith that you're all going to come back next week when we discuss relationship building. Until then, remember you might have to loan out your frontal lobes today. Just make sure you get them back.

Speaker 1 18:28

Thank you for listening to Brain Based Parenting. We hope you enjoyed this show. If you would like more information about Cal Farley's Boys Ranch, are interested in employment, would like information about placing your child, or would like to help us help children by donating to our mission, please visit calfarleyorg. You can find us on all social media platforms by searching for Cal Farley's. Thank you for spending your time with us and have a blessed day.