Brain Based Parenting
Brain Based Parenting, The Boys Ranch Podcast for families.
We all know how hard being a parent is, and sometimes it feels like there are no good answers to the difficult questions families have when their kids are struggling.
Our goal each week will be to try and answer some of those tough questions utilizing the knowledge, experience, and professional training Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch has to offer.
Contact us: email
podcasts@calfarley.org
To Donate:
https://secure.calfarley.org/site/Donation2?3358.donation=form1&df_id=3358&mfc_pref=T
To Apply:
https://apply.workable.com/cal-farleys-boys-ranch/j/25E1226091/
For More Information about Cal Farley's Boys Ranch:
https://www.calfarley.org/
Music:
"Shine" -Newsboys
CCS License No. 9402
Brain Based Parenting
Satori Alternatives to Managing Aggression and The 5 Principles with Special Guest Larry Hampton and Co.
Message us Questions and/or comments about the show
Today we have some very special guests!!! Larry, Lisa, and Dennis join us to talk about SAMA and its 5 principles. We dive into how utilizing the SAMA assisting process and the 5 principles can help deal with anger and aggression.
For more information please go to:
https://satorilearning.com/
Contact:
podcasts@calfarley.org
To Donate:
https://secure.calfarley.org/site/Donation2?3358.donation=form1&df_id=3358&mfc_pref=T
To Apply:
https://apply.workable.com/cal-farleys-boys-ranch/j/25E1226091/
For More Information about Cal Farley's Boys Ranch:
https://www.calfarley.org/
Music:
"Shine" -Newsboys
CCS License No. 9402
Welcome to BrainBase Parenting, the Boys Ranch podcast for families. We all know how hard being a parent is and sometimes it feels like there are no good answers to the difficult questions families have when their kids are struggling. Our goal each week will be to try and answer some of those tough questions, utilizing the knowledge, experience and professional training Cal Folly's Boys Ranch has to offer. Now here is your host, cal Folly staff development coordinator, joshua Sprock.
Speaker 2:Welcome back everyone and thank you for joining us today as we continue talking about BrainBase Parenting. Today is a very special episode because we were joined by some awesome guests Larry and Lisa Hampton and Dennis Deutsch, founders of Satori Learning Designs. Hello Larry, hello Lisa, hello Dennis, hello, hello, hello. So we start off each episode with a fun question of the day and since you guys are our first guests we've ever had on the show, I thought I'd ask you that, when it comes to social gatherings, do you prefer to be a host and have people come over to your home, or do you enjoy being a guest at other people's home?
Speaker 3:In that we do a lot of hosting for training. I like to be a guest.
Speaker 2:Makes sense.
Speaker 4:Pretty much the same for myself too, but also with the added bonus of no cleanup, and then I prefer to be more of the host, so that way I don't have to worry about going home afterwards I'm already there.
Speaker 2:All right. Well, I'm super excited to have you guys here today to talk about SAMA. We've talked a lot in our previous episodes of this podcast about having a strong, positive relationship is the best way to help kids who are struggling and, in my opinion, sama is the best relational intervention there is to help a kid in crisis. So maybe we can start by you guys telling us a little bit about what SAMA is.
Speaker 3:SAMA is a program for dealing with violence and aggression nonviolently. It's performance based and it starts with an assisting process so that we can lead kids anybody who's on a planet in a relationship with anybody else on the planet from the reactive part of the brain to the frontal lobes, usually in a couple of minutes. Beyond that, we teach benign protection skills that protect both individuals, not one of the expenses of the other, avoiding pressure points and joint locks and including the de-escalation process as part of that. We also teach physical holding skills which avoid pressure points, joint locks, prone or supine positions and again the assisting process is incorporated into that and object retrieval if necessary, again using the natural movements of the body and incorporating the assisting process.
Speaker 2:So today I really want to dive into the five principles of SAMA, because if people could just apply these five principles and how they interacted with kids or anyone really, I think a good majority of our world's problems might be solved. So the first principle of SAMA is to take a person seriously. Why is it so key to take someone seriously when they're in a crisis situation?
Speaker 3:By taking a person seriously, they almost always and almost immediately start calming down. Have you ever been angry and somebody didn't take you seriously?
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 3:What happened?
Speaker 2:I got angry here.
Speaker 3:Exactly so. Simply by taking a person seriously, we can start de-escalating them so they understand that they're being taken seriously and they don't have to keep demonstrating for us just how angry or upset they are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that makes sense. Alright, so the second principle is to join and follow. To lead Can you tell us what this principle is all about?
Speaker 3:Yes, In order to help somebody, first of all we have to understand where they're coming from, what their world looks like. If we can join them intellectually or emotionally, then we can start directing them a different way. If we're in opposition with each other, we're the stalemate. So one of us has to look the same direction as the other, so that we can then travel together.
Speaker 2:Okay, so our third principle is to take action to get a beneficial reaction. How about this principle? Tell us a little bit about that, why it's important.
Speaker 3:Well, it's important because if what I'm doing is not getting the result I want, I need to change my behavior, not expect the other person to simply magically change their behavior just because I want them to. So I have to look at my actions to see what effect I'm having on another human being so that I can get the result that hopefully I'm going to get from them in terms of calming down or resolving a situation that's upsetting to them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I really appreciate this principle. I think it puts a lot of power in me as an adult that I have a big determining influence on how any situation is going to play out. If I go into a situation and I'm angry and yelling and raising my voice, I'm probably going to get a not so beneficial reaction, right.
Speaker 3:Exactly, if I'm calm, if I have a calm demeanor with me, the possibility is that I'm going to have a calming effect on the other person. So I'm going to take action on my part to get a beneficial reaction from the other person.
Speaker 2:All right. So the fourth principle is to go step by step through the process. What are the benefits of going through step by step of this process, or any process really?
Speaker 3:Well, I think, on the face of it, it's just what you said If we don't follow things step by step, we don't go anywhere. It doesn't matter how well I can turn the steering wheel or step on the accelerator, if I haven't turned the machinery on, I'm not going anywhere.
Speaker 2:The fifth principle is to act without hesitation. I just think it's so important in any skill in life to act without hesitation. So how do you get to a point where you act without hesitation?
Speaker 3:Practice, practice, practice. It's like anything else. If I'm hesitant, it's usually because I don't know what I'm doing. The more I know, the more skilled I am. The more confident I am in my abilities, the more readily I can act without hesitation and resolve a situation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've been in a lot of situations where the person in charge is kind of a real hesitant and they just don't seem like they know what they're doing. It doesn't give me a lot of confidence that they're going to be able to take care of the situation.
Speaker 3:Exactly right.
Speaker 2:So I think if we just can practice, practice, practice, it gives that confidence and competence in a skill and then you're more likely to act without hesitation. And when we act without hesitation I think a lot of times the kids will want to follow us.
Speaker 3:I agree with you completely.
Speaker 2:So I love these five principles. Do you guys have anything else you want to add about the five principles or any way you've seen them used effectively?
Speaker 4:I think the act without hesitation, just noticing something. If you notice something is different or if they're not having a good day or anything like that, then you can try to figure out hesitation and go talk to someone and figure out what's going on. That might make a big difference where we don't have a blow-up later, just by noticing that and trying to figure out what's going on by talking to them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's so good, I think so many people think, oh, it'll probably work out on its own. But that very rarely happens Exactly, and when we see those little behaviors, that's when we want to act without hesitation. All right, so you guys have been in the helping business for a long time. Could you share with our listeners something you've learned along the way that might be helpful when it comes to helping families in a time of crisis?
Speaker 3:Something that's helped a lot of families is learning the assisting process in our program. When I work with families, I get everybody around the kitchen table, including the kids, and we go through the systematic learning of the assisting process and we post it on the refrigerator so everybody understands. This is how we're going to help each other and it's had some amazing results with some families.
Speaker 2:Yes, I've been using the assisting process on my own personal family for years. It's kind of funny. I have three daughters and they're all teenagers and they still haven't seemed to catch on that I'm using the process on them, but it works so well. I will say, one time, though, I was at my daughter's elementary school and one of her friends her dad is a Sama facilitator also and I'm walking up to just to check in see how they're doing, and this other girl is talking to this other girl who's having sort of a meltdown. I'm like this sounds really, really familiar. And then she kind of looked up and was like don't worry, sir, I'm Sama-tizing this girl, and her dad had taught her the Sama script and she was using it to kind of help her friends. So I thought that was such a cool thing.
Speaker 3:Excellent. As a matter of fact, we'll have less arguments if people take each other seriously and have some skills about listening to each other and helping each other resolve issues.
Speaker 2:All right. So if someone wanted more information about Sama or wanted to take a class with you guys or a certified facilitator, what would be the best way for them to accomplish that?
Speaker 3:Contact us through our email and website, satori at SatoriLearningcom, and go to our website. All of the programs are listed there or you can request that we come to you and do training with your organization or with your group.
Speaker 2:I can't recommend this program high enough. It's been one of the most useful tools in helping kids and families that I've had in the time that I've worked at Boys Ranch. So well, thank you guys. I've really enjoyed having you guys for guests today and I seriously want to thank all of you listeners for joining and following us in our brain-based parenting journey. I hope you get a beneficial reaction from listening to this discussion, so please act without hesitation and take steps to come back next week. Until then, remember you might have to loan out your frontal lobes today. Just make sure you remember to get them back.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to brain-based parenting. We hope you enjoyed this show. If you would like more information about Cal Farlies Boys Ranch are interested in employment, would like information about placing your child, or would like to help us help children by donating to our mission, please visit CalFarlieorg. You can find us on all social media platforms by searching for Cal Farleys. Thank you for spending your time with us and have a blessed day.
