Embracing Self-Compassion: Noelle Kustas on Transforming Wellness and Following Your Dreams
Apr 10, 2024Season 1Episode 24
Shelly Jefferis
Sometimes our most challenging moments and decisions are what lead us to our innermost passions and dreams! That was exactly the case for Noelle Kustas, a former teacher who is now a certified transformational and empowerment coach. Noelle retired from her 24 year teaching career when her health began to rapidly decline. She shares how self-compassion so profoundly affected her wellness journey and that the importance of being "present' and following dreams can absolutely happen without having to sacrificing our health.
Through Noelle's journey, she developed an understanding of the true meaning of self-care alongside the importance of mindset shifts in order to fully experience flourishing health, business, and personal connections. Noelle openly shares her health battles, from childhood trauma to fibromyalgia, and she explains how critical stress management, being aware of self-talk and supportive relationships are in creating a healthier, more joyful life experience. Listen in as Noelle's story affirms the extraordinary power we possess to rewrite our stories, to "rise 2 shine" and ultimately emerge with a renewed sense of well-being, happiness and joy!
High quality, clean nutrition and beauty products: https://shellyjefferis.isagenix
Thank you for listening to the Words of Wellness podcast with Shelly Jefferis. I am honored and so grateful to have you here and it would mean the world to me if you could take a minute to follow, leave a 5-star review and share the podcast with anyone you love and anyone you feel could benefit from the message.
Thank you and God Bless! And remember to do something for yourself, for your wellness on this day!
Sometimes our most challenging moments and decisions are what lead us to our innermost passions and dreams! That was exactly the case for Noelle Kustas, a former teacher who is now a certified transformational and empowerment coach. Noelle retired from her 24 year teaching career when her health began to rapidly decline. She shares how self-compassion so profoundly affected her wellness journey and that the importance of being "present' and following dreams can absolutely happen without having to sacrificing our health.
Through Noelle's journey, she developed an understanding of the true meaning of self-care alongside the importance of mindset shifts in order to fully experience flourishing health, business, and personal connections. Noelle openly shares her health battles, from childhood trauma to fibromyalgia, and she explains how critical stress management, being aware of self-talk and supportive relationships are in creating a healthier, more joyful life experience. Listen in as Noelle's story affirms the extraordinary power we possess to rewrite our stories, to "rise 2 shine" and ultimately emerge with a renewed sense of well-being, happiness and joy!
High quality, clean nutrition and beauty products: https://shellyjefferis.isagenix
Thank you for listening to the Words of Wellness podcast with Shelly Jefferis. I am honored and so grateful to have you here and it would mean the world to me if you could take a minute to follow, leave a 5-star review and share the podcast with anyone you love and anyone you feel could benefit from the message.
Thank you and God Bless! And remember to do something for yourself, for your wellness on this day!
In Health, Shelly Jefferis
Speaker 1:
one of the things that really transformed me and helped me to think about things differently is I grabbed a picture of myself when I was little and it is. I'm in my little pigtails. I think I'm about four or five years old and I have that on my mirror and every time I start to talk badly to myself or put myself down or think I'm not doing it right, I look at that little girl and I always think would I talk to her that way?
Speaker 2:
Do you get confused by all of the information that bombard us every day on ways to improve our overall health and our overall wellness? Do you often feel stuck, unmotivated or struggle to reach your wellness goals? Do you have questions as to what exercises you should be doing, what foods you should or should not be eating, how to improve your overall emotional and mental well-being? Hello everyone, I am so excited to welcome you to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I will be your host. My goal is to answer these questions and so much more To share tips, education and inspiration around all of the components of wellness through solo and guest episodes.
Speaker 2:
With 35 plus years as a health and wellness professional, a retired college professor, a speaker and a multi-passionate entrepreneur, I certainly have lots to share. However, my biggest goal and inspiration in doing this podcast is to share the wellness stories of others with you, to bring in guests who can share their journeys so that we can all learn together while making an impact on the health, the wellness and lives of all of you, our listeners. The ultimate hope is that you leave today with even just one nugget that can enhance the quality of your life, and that you will. We all will, now and into the future, live our best quality of lives, full of energy, happiness and joy. Now let's dive into our message for today.
Speaker 2:
Hello everyone, and welcome back to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly and I am your host, and I am very excited to introduce our guest today, a very special friend of mine. She's a former teacher, was a teacher for 24 years. She is now the founder of Rise to Shine Co, where she helps women, as a certified transformational and empowerment coach, create the lives of their dreams so that they can show up as their favorite selves. Noelle Kustis, I'm so excited to have you here.
Speaker 1:
I am so excited to be here with you today, shelly. I know we've talked about this for a while and I'm just so proud of you for starting your podcast and just pouring so much value into women. It's so fun to watch you in this journey.
Speaker 2:
You're so kind. Thank you, I appreciate you so much, and same to you. I mean, you're out there doing it and such a bright light for so many people, and I know we have a lot we want to talk about in a condensed amount of time today, but how did you? Maybe we should start back to how you got started with what you're doing today.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, so you know, I know the two of us have a lot in common, and I, too, was a teacher. I was in education for well over 24 years, because I even put myself through college as a preschool teacher and all of the things Loved education so much. And, truthfully, truth be told, as a matter of fact, I was just telling this story that when I had my babies, I remember having this like urge that I wanted to stay home with them, but it just was not an option at that time in my life, and so I, you know, just kept going to work and doing all the things that we as moms do and really felt a lot of overwhelm and felt like I wanted to eventually be able to maybe be at home part time or full time, and so I started these side hustles, which that's what it was for me, it was like a lot of hustling, a lot of hustling, and which you know, sometimes, when we're hustling and we're doing all the things, we're not taking really good care of ourselves in the process, and so that is absolutely what happened. Fast forward 24 years. I was, you know, I think, when 2020 hit our lovely year of the pandemic.
Speaker 1:
I was in my late 40s and I remember just that. That just kind of threw me for a loop as a teacher and from there, what ended up happening is the stress toll just kept getting bigger and bigger and my health just kept declining and I actually wasn't even the same person anymore. I felt like my family had noticed it. I was not only struggling with my weight, but I just felt like achy, I had the brain fog, I mean, it was just all of the things, and I was literally in tears on a daily basis and my husband was looking at me like what is going on. So I remember we were sitting on the porch one Sunday morning having coffee and I was dreading going back to work. This was now 2021.
Speaker 1:
And he, to sum it up shortly, basically said you can continue doing this and we're going to continue having this same conversation over and over again, or you can do something about it. And that had never. You know, I had been in the education for 24 years. So to really sit and look him in the eyes and go wow for him to say that to me, I knew that this was a wake up call.
Speaker 1:
I knew that I had to get my health in order. I had to get my priorities in order. And that is when, you know, shortly thereafter, I decided to take a leap of faith and leave the profession, leave the paycheck, and start something new. And here I am now as an entrepreneur, and my passion is really about helping women. I, you know, like I said, I got certified as a transformational and empowerment coach to really help women on their journeys to, you know, be able to have the same kind of shift that I've had, whether it be and it doesn't have to be in career. I work with women for all different things, whether it be personal relationships, health, all of the things. So, yeah, so that is what I am doing now and I am loving it.
Speaker 2:
I'm so grateful, so so grateful, I think it's pretty interesting to hear, and such so inspiring, just your story, but also to know that you were. You were starting kind of down this path even before the country shut down and then that probably just magnified everything for you. I'm guessing Absolutely Sounds like the origination of your kind of having the stress and just having kind of things snowball was the fact you were missing being home with your babies, right, that was initially how it all started.
Speaker 1:
That definitely is where it started, cause I, like I said, I loved teaching, I loved being in the classroom, but I also longed to be home with my kids.
Speaker 2:
It's so crazy, Noelle, because when we first had our, our first baby is our daughter. She's now 25. Right, Somehow, my husband and I we tag teamed for years, and I'll never, ever forget, though, that first day. I was going to leave to go teach at the college and I had an afternoon class. My husband was home, so Jessica was with him in the rocking chair as I left, but I was crying, even though she's home with dad. You know, daddy, that was I mean. Thank God we were able to do that for all those years, but I'll never forget that feeling of going oh my gosh, what am I? You know, I don't want to leave, and so I totally get that.
Speaker 2:
And we were fortunate enough, Like I say, we were able to tag team it. So one of us was always home with the kit with our babies, which was a little crazy, but we did it. But I can't even imagine going back to what you experienced. I can't imagine to be gone and moms do it all the time right To be gone eight to three, eight to five, nine to five, whatever it is. I mean, I understand we have to do what we have to do, but that part of your heart and you know, my husband would always say it's the time that we can't ever get back.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
We can't get this back. So I so feel that what you would have experienced because I would have been right there with you.
Speaker 1:
Right, and you know, I feel I felt like I was so blessed to be a teacher because I could be home on the holidays, I could be home in the summer. But here's the thing, the holidays, I could be home in the summer. But here's the thing and this is what I realize now, looking back at it that I didn't understand then. But you never really leave your job as a teacher. I always brought it home with me, and not just in correcting papers, but like actually being like. Those kids were on my mind constantly. All of the pressures and you know, all of the things. I never let it go. So like. Here I am as a mom still showing up for my kids all their baseball games, all their soccer games, all their soccer games, all the things.
Speaker 1:
But I wasn't really fully present, if that makes sense. I was sitting there on the sidelines, I was cheering them on, but I was thinking about all the things I still had to do and I was just and that's where I say you know, and for what I do and what I'm talking to women is, I wasn't living in that full joy. I wasn't like just. I never learned how to just be in the moment and how to do those things, because my mind was going a million miles an hour and I was always telling the same stories in my head that I ruminated on, and so therefore, I just wasn't showing up and pouring out the way that I would have loved to do. That before you know.
Speaker 1:
And so, yeah, I just it's been such a journey to really be able to look back at that and and recognize that and admit that to myself. You know, I mean, there are so many amazing moms out there doing all the things, I mean, and we, we love on our kids, we, you know, we show up for all of the things, but on the inside we are serving everybody else and our cup is not getting full, and we're, you know. So then what do we do? We sign up for all the things, thinking, well, that'll fill a cup, that'll fill my cup. And then what happens? We just get busier and busier and busier.
Speaker 2:
Yes it's so true, and I it's. It's. I love that you mentioned joy, because that's even in part of my description with the podcast is is is living our lives, but living a quality of life where we're feeling, we have energy and vitality and joy, and we're in that present moment. And, as with everything, it's never perfect, right, you know. Again, the other part of this is with age comes wisdom, as we know, right. So I feel like that's something that I have really gained in recent, you know, years, or last decade or more, of just really enjoying those moments and knowing, you know that it's so important to be present and I it's so interesting.
Speaker 2:
I just was having a conversation with myself this morning because the month of April is really busy. I was like Shelly, one day at a time, one step at a time, I already felt myself going, oh my gosh, like thinking it through the entire month, because there's just a lot of different activities and things going on and I had to just remind myself hold on a minute, you know. So, again, we always, you know, we, we recognize it. So that's good and it's never a perfect, perfect situation, but it's. It's always important to do our best to do that and, like you're saying to fill our cups first, and so what have you been doing for you that you feel has helped you in that regard, when it comes to filling your own cup?
Speaker 1:
Right? Well, it looked differently for me before, because before filling my cup would mean I'm going to go and get a manicure today, I'm going to have a spa day with my girlfriends. I mean that was like a big treat and that felt like it was self-care. And then I realized, yes, that's great for the day, but you're still stepping right back into your life doing the same thing again. So I realized, when we sat out on that porch and as we moved forward, that I needed to start doing things that were sustainable. I needed to do things that were self-care. That was like really learning how to take care of myself.
Speaker 1:
And you know, it's funny because I would hear the term life coach. I would hear, you know, I'd hear things like that and I honestly I'm going to just be very transparent I was like I don't really know what that's all about. Like I kind of poo-pooed a little bit. Let's just say that. So I am a woman of faith and you know, that was definitely something that brought me through so much leaning in on that and really leaning in on a community of people that I felt like were people that were lifting me up and helping me to rise. But I will say, personally, I did have to do the work. I had to finally get to the point where I was like I've been going to therapy and I've been dealing with a lot of my past traumas, things like that. However, what am I doing for right now and looking forward, and what am I doing to help me not have these ruminating thoughts, help me to release some of this anxiety? And so I found a coach. It was through, you know, that's another conversation, but it was very interesting.
Speaker 1:
I ended up actually going to her for, originally, social media content, because I was starting to go oh, you know, I want to be more present. I had a little jewelry business and I thought, oh, I want to be a little more present there. And then I started kind of hearing her message and I thought, wow, this woman is amazing hearing her message, and I thought, wow, this woman is amazing. And, lo and behold, I started getting coaching from her, just in kind of more. You know, it's funny how God works these things out, where I thought it was for leadership, but she really started talking to me about mindset and rewiring the stories that I continued to tell myself, and being able to do that has completely transformed, like once I started to learn the tools of how to feel better from the inside out, like how to really dig deep and do that. That is where I'm able to go. Okay, now I can show up in joy and, like you said, is everyday perfect? No, but what we can do is, when we know those tools and we know those things, we have that to step back and do exactly what you did today, where we can say, okay, I can plug this in.
Speaker 1:
I always say you know, it's kind of like kids with writing. You know, here is a tray of writing tools that you can use. You get to choose what fits best for you right now, and that's what I do. You know, I feel like here's your platter. I'm going to provide that for you. I'm going to teach you how to use these, how to implement, and some may really resonate with you.
Speaker 1:
Others may not resonate with you. Others may not resonate with you right now, but it may come later. And that is what I'm finding is, like you said, with age there comes wisdom. But my hope and I know your hope too is that we're going to reach these ladies before they are in their 40s and 50s, that maybe they're, you know, in their thirties and they still have young kids at home and they can utilize some of this stuff to be able to live that quality life with joy and purpose. You know, I do believe when we have purpose and I think that's what I found. I know that's what I found is my purpose and now I feel like it just every day.
Speaker 2:
I wake up with joy. Well, I just love it and it's, and you do, and you, you just ruminate all of that. So I it's, it is your purpose and and it's it's beautiful to see I really, really love it. And you know it's interesting when you're talking about the mindset I know we were talking earlier that that's such a huge component of everything that we're doing, whether it's our health journey or a business journey or a relationship. And it's interesting because that just made me think back to having been involved in health and wellness for 35, 40, whatever years now.
Speaker 2:
Back then, the mindset wasn't even mentioned. We didn't even know about it, even though, of course, it's always been there. Right, wasn't even mentioned. We didn't even know about it, even though, of course, it's always been there. But I find it so fascinating that, you know, in the last decade or two, you know it's something that I've I've learned more and more about and it's such a huge, important component, like almost the most important. So it's fascinating to think back how it's finally evolved. And now it's definitely a known thing that this is an important thing. Know how critical it is and impactful it is to have the proper mindset and the tools, like you're saying, yeah, tools are so, so important. I was going to say too I know we were talking earlier you also kind of went through your own personal health journey. So what did that look like?
Speaker 1:
Oh, that was tough, you know I I definitely had, you know, going back to childhood. There was definitely some traumas there that I certainly know, that have stuck with me and that's part of my story. But really and truly as an adult I, like I said, I had all of these health issues and I always thought, I thought something is really wrong.
Speaker 1:
You know, why do I always keep having like these weird things happen with my health? And you know, and I always looked at myself like I was, I was fairly active, I mean, I was definitely active as a child, definitely active as a child. But again it it came down really to my own self-esteem, my own life experiences of literally the stories that I would tell myself. Like you know, we tell ourselves the same story over and over again and it becomes our truth and I realized I was really good at that and so, along with that, became kind of this um, I don't like the gym. I just don't like the gym, I don't like how it makes me feel I don't want to go and I'd make every excuse in the world, knowing that really what it came down to was you know me and like my personal issues. And then there was also the eating. You know, just really, when it comes to like nutrition per se, I was wildly on all of these, even as a teenager. I remember going to Weight Watchers, like, and I look back and I'm like, excuse me why, why was I at Weight Watchers? It's crazy to me because I. But I thought and the story I told myself was because I was like 10 pounds bigger than maybe some of my best friends that I did not fit the image, you know. And so there were.
Speaker 1:
So there were all those things that had compiled up through my lifetime. And then you add stress and that is where it all came in, to where eventually I was. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and now I am learning again how to cope with that. I had a huge fall last Christmas in 20, what would that have been 2022? I had a huge fall. I fainted and in the middle of the night due to pain and um, that was my other wake up call of okay, now you're getting like some, you're, you've released some of the stress in your life, but it has it's already done damage. It had already done so much damage in my physical wellbeing that I had just I mean, I sat on a heating pad and slept in a recliner for six months. Oh my.
Speaker 2:
Last year.
Speaker 1:
And I I cannot begin to tell you what that does to you as just a human. And so talk about having to plug in and really really dig deep into the mindset and into your, you know, into your story and your background. I mean, I had to do the work because I knew I was not going to continue living like that. There was no way I could do it, wow.
Speaker 2:
And so you know not to minimize everything that you've gone through and and your stories and your, your childhood problems and all of that, all the things, all of the things. And then then also, I think what's so important for our listeners to hear is is the stress? Like I did do one short episode back around the holidays about just a few stress management techniques. However, you know we don't always, there's not always a lot of research and connection to stress to certain specific illnesses and diseases, even though we know it's connected right, totally. So it's just another indication of how critical it is to manage our stress, because if we don't, this is where it can lead right, absolutely and and just and and just being able to.
Speaker 1:
You know, work on, learning how to work on. I mean, I know we could be on here all day, but it's like just controlling that nervous system and what that does, all the signaling it does. You know, throughout a day, the cortisol that is constantly going through your body when you're in high stress and the damage that that can do to your body. I mean, I had to learn all of this the hard way for sure, but you know, when you start to reach, you know I was getting. I was nearing 50 and I thought I'm not going to like I get to choose how I live the rest of my life and this is not the picture that I ever imagined. But I was also in denial that it would catch up to me like that.
Speaker 2:
Well, going back to this is another thing that what a huge blessing that your husband is to have brought that to your attention and also to have recognized it and to say you need to make a change, and almost I think he encouraged you to retire, right, yep.
Speaker 1:
Yep, he sure did, and he's always been so supportive. He's the gym guy. Let me tell you that guy, you know he loves like nutrition. He's you, Shelly, just in a man form. He loves movement, he loves to be outside, he loves the sunshine, he loves that. He looks at food as fuel. That's another thing that him and I like. It was a very different outlook on food and, again, a whole nother conversation, Right. But he also is so even keel and he's learned how to be that way as an adult to where I really do believe.
Speaker 1:
And now, mind you, we've only been together 10 years. This is our second marriage, and so I'm learning from him. I was learning from him and watching him and I was watching you know how his life was and I'm thinking why? Why am I not like this? And so it's been an interesting, you know, definitely has been an interesting journey to be married to someone who is so passionate about that.
Speaker 1:
Never, ever put me down, Never told me I had to do it a certain way, but just coming from a place of love of, I see your pain and this is not how I want you to live the rest of your life. I mean, when we said our vows we said we're going to grow young together. We knew our kids were older and we wanted to be able to live this life because we knew that we met each other later in life. And I thought, oh my gosh, I'm doing the exact opposite and that you know. So. When our why, you know it's either like you get to the dead bottom and you're like you've hit rock bottom, or your why is bigger and you know you have to turn things around.
Speaker 2:
Well, it sounds almost like you experienced both right, yeah, yeah, Wow, I am, I don't know. I you know that I love you so much and I'm I'm so proud of you for what you have gone through, where, where you have come from and where you are today. And you know, a big reason I wanted to have you on today is so that you can share your exciting upcoming news and so share that with our listeners.
Speaker 1:
Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. Thanks for letting me share that, and so yeah. So, aside from all of my coaching and all of the things that I'm doing, we're launching our program, shine by Design, which is an eight-week program to help women just go through all of this. You know deeper stuff when it comes to mindset and just comes to rediscovering your strengths and tapping into your purpose all of those great things. I am launching a podcast. You have inspired me for sure. We saw each other back in gosh. When did we stay together? I think it was September, right.
Speaker 1:
And we were both talking about wanting to do a podcast and you went for it. I watched you go for it and you're like I am just going to do it and it just inspired me so much and I feel like I was, you know, almost there. It just wasn't quite there yet, and so here we are. We're going to be launching on April 23rd. I am so excited. It's really again. It's going to be called the Rise to Shine podcast and we are going to be talking to women all about how we can rise, how we can shine brighter, and we're going to have guest interviews. I can't wait to have you on so many great things coming out of this one, and I, yeah, I couldn't be more thrilled.
Speaker 2:
I'm so excited for you and I'm so excited to listen and be a guest and and just I know the feeling and I'm I'm just really excited for you to get it going.
Speaker 1:
And.
Speaker 2:
I think that we know we could talk for a really long time, and so we'll be conscientious of our time and our listeners time. But how can people contact you, noelle? I know I'll have all of your information in the show notes. Yeah, how can people contact you, noelle?
Speaker 1:
I know I'll have all of your information in the show notes. Yeah, what's the best way? So I pretty much live on Instagram and Facebook. So if you go to Instagram I'm at joyful underscore Noelle N-O-E-L-L-E and I also you can go right to my website, which is risetoshineco and that's the number two, so risetoshineco, and then you can check out all of the things that are happening on this end.
Speaker 1:
And one thing I just wanted to leave your audience with, before I know you're going to wrap this up, is you know, one of the things just for that self-love and just for something to think about and just a little tool to give them a little nugget, is I would love. One of the things that really transformed me and helped me to think about things differently is I grabbed a picture of myself when I was little, and it is. I'm in my little pigtails. I think I'm about four or five years old and I have that on my mirror.
Speaker 1:
And every time I start to talk badly to myself or put myself down or think I'm not doing it right, I look at that little girl and I always think would I talk to her that way? I would never talk to her that way. And I look at her and I just go. She had no idea what was ahead of her and now, as I'm growing into that person, it's like she's still kind of like there. I try to embrace that inner part of me, that that's still there. And so just think about that. You know, if you have a picture, just put it somewhere that you can see and just, you know, remind yourself that you are still that soul and you know you deserve all of the best things in life and you deserve your dreams, all of the things. And so just wanted to leave you with that, because that definitely was a game changer for me.
Speaker 2:
I love that. That's so beautiful. I that is very special and that's a perfect way to to end. I was going to ask you for a last minute tip or advice, but that that is right there, that's it, and oh, that's just beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. That's so impactful. I'm going to do that. I love that idea because you're so right. How would you, how would you speak to that, that little girl? And then we forget that, and that's something that we all need to be reminded of. So, thank you for that. That's awesome. You're so welcome.
Speaker 2:
Well, thank you everyone for listening today. Uh, thank you, noelle. This is beautiful having you on, and I'm so excited for what you have in store and lots of great things ahead for you and for both of us together. So I'm just so excited for what's in store and thank you all for listening. Have a wonderful rest of your day and, as always, do something for yourself and your wellness and have a beautiful, blessed week and we'll see you next time.
Speaker 2:
Thank you so much for tuning into today's episode. I hope you gained value and enjoyed our time together as much as I did, and, if you know someone who could benefit from today's episode, I hope you gained value and enjoyed our time together as much as I did, and if you know someone who could benefit from today's episode, I would love and appreciate it if you could share with a friend or rate and review words of wellness so that more can hear this message. I love and appreciate you all. Thank you for listening and if you have any questions or topics you would like me to share in future episodes, please don't hesitate to reach out to me through my contact information that is shared in the show notes below. Again, thank you for tuning in to Words of Wellness. My name is Shelly Jeffries and I encourage you to do something for you, for your wellness, on this day. Until next time, I hope you all have a healthy, happy and blessed week, thank you.