Lori Gouhin [00:00:02]:
Welcome to the artwork of you, the podcast where your life is the canvas and you are the masterpiece.
Lori Gouhin [00:00:09]:
I'm your host, Lori Gouhin, and together we'll explore creativity, self awareness, mindset, goal strategy, and the importance of accountability so that you can paint your life's portrait with confidence and ease. Remember, in the gallery of life, you're not just a spectator, you are the art. So let's grab our brushes and start creating the masterpiece that is you.
Lori Gouhin [00:00:32]:
Hello, my friends. I am so glad that you are here with me today. Because today I want to talk about comfort zones. Have you ever felt like you're running on autopilot, sticking to the familiar because it's comfortable? We've all been there. And I guess you could say that we often seek refuge in our comfort zones, those cozy, familiar places where stress is low and predictability is high. But as these safe havens can also be like invisible cages, limiting our growth and our potential. So let's talk today about the world of comfort zones. Understanding the sneaky ways of our habits.
Lori Gouhin [00:01:10]:
Let's explore the peculiar paradox of the negative comfort zone. And most importantly, let's figure out a way to step out of these zones so that we can grow and thrive. So what is it about your comfort zone that makes it so appealing? It might be helpful to think of it like a cozy sweater. Feels safe, feels warm and reassuring. And psychologically, these zones are where we feel in control and at ease. But here's the catch. Staying in this cozy sweater for too long can lead to a monotony. Really.
Lori Gouhin [00:01:42]:
You like the sweater? It's comfortable, but you're not experiencing anything new either. So you'll want to think about it. Like balancing this comfort with the courage to occasionally wear something maybe a bit more daring. And the human brain is wired to minimize risk and seek comfort. We know that. And this is often what leads us to instinctively cling to these comfort zones. And while they provide temporary peace, remaining there for prolonged periods of time, again, it'll lead to stagnation, complacency, possibly missed opportunities, or really definitely missed opportunities for growth and learning. They can also become like invisible barriers, keeping us within the bounds of the known and the routine of the day to day that prevents us from both professional and personal growth.
Lori Gouhin [00:02:32]:
Neuroscience explains this through something that's called habit loops. In other words, patterns of behavior that become automatic and comfortable. And some examples of what that might look like would be scrolling on your phone while you delay getting up in the morning, doing the same workout every day, maybe pouring a drink every night, when you get home from work, possibly gossiping whenever you're with a certain group of friends. Maybe it looks like watching tv every single night until it's time for you to go to bed. Perhaps it's vacationing in the same spot year to year. You get the point. In these loops, they consist of three elements, a cue or a trigger. So you wake up a routine or a behavior.
Lori Gouhin [00:03:17]:
You reach for your phone and a reward, which is like a dopamine hit of some sort that you would be getting from social media. And over time, as these loops are reinforced, the associated behaviors become more and more automatic and create a comfort zone of a habitual activity. And while sometimes these habits can be beneficial, they can also lock us into patterns of behavior that are really hard to break, even when they're no longer serving us well. And I think an important thing that I mentioned earlier that's often overlooked when people are talking about comfort zones is this paradox of a negative comfort zone. And that's a situation where an individual stays in a negative or unproductive state, not because it offers happiness or fulfillment, like some of the other examples, but because it's familiar. And this familiarity gives a deceptive sense of security, making the thought of change, even when it would be for the better, seem daunting. A negative comfort zone can manifest in various ways, such as maybe staying in a dysfunctional relationship or an abusive relationship, continuing a harmful habit, maybe staying in an unsatisfying job. The common thread in these situations is the individual's reluctance to leave their known reality, despite the adverse effects on their well being.
Lori Gouhin [00:04:37]:
And the irony is, we often choose to stay in these negative spaces because the fear of the unknown seems scarier than the unhappiness that we actually know by being in that situation. And I'm sure many of you will be able to recognize this paradox of a negative comfort zone in others, or possibly even in yourself right now or at some other point in your life. I know I certainly have experienced this many times in my life, and an example that stands out for me personally has been staying in friendships that were completely toxic or one sided, or some other form of dysfunction. And in fact, about ten years ago or so, I actually bought the domain name girlfrienddrama.com and I started a blog called Girlfriend drama. Now, this was anonymous, and I mainly did it because of this one specific friend who constantly caused drama for myself and others who she was in relationship with. And although that blog was very short lived, because I realized pretty quickly that me focusing on that and writing about it just brought more of it into my life. But that being said, I still continued to stay in the comfort zone of that friendship and several other unhealthy friendships, if I'm being honest, for many years to come. I also have this friend, Neil, and this past year, in 2023, he was traveling all over the world and posting a lot of stuff on Instagram.
Lori Gouhin [00:05:59]:
And when he posted photos of where he was staying in Spain, all I could say was, oh my gosh. Wow, that looks amazing. And he responded by saying, I can't believe I used to lock myself in a box for 80 hours a week and call it life. And boy, that really made an impact on me. I still think about it. That box can be a metaphor for so many things in your life and recognizing and breaking free from the negative comfort zone. It's like cleaning out a cluttered closet, right? It's daunting, but it's so liberating. Are you ready for a roadmap on how to get out of your comfort zone? I'll just assume you said yes.
Lori Gouhin [00:06:39]:
Now, of course, if you're at all familiar with me and my work as a coach, and really as an artist too, I talk a lot about goals. But today I want to share something other than smart goals that you might not be familiar with. And that's the grow model. Grew. And it consists of four strategies. Goal setting, reality checking, exploring options, and the will to proceed. And by methodically working through these stages, you can develop a structured plan to move beyond your comfort zone and achieve your goals, whatever they happen to be. So the first step is goal setting.
Lori Gouhin [00:07:15]:
So you want to identify clear, achievable goals. Like smart goals, the goals should be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant. And by relevant, I mean they align with your values and time bound. This provides a clear target to aim for. Next is reality checking. And this stage involves an honest assessment of your current situation. Because understanding where you stand in relation to your goals is crucial for planning the next steps. Next would be exploring your options.
Lori Gouhin [00:07:47]:
And so here you can brainstorm potential ways that you can achieve your goal. And this stage encourages you to think outside of the box and outside of your comfort zone. Be curious. Consider various strategies and paths, brainstorm lists and ideas, and finally, establishing your will. In other words, it's about committing to action. This involves developing the motivation and the determination, because determination is key to follow through on the strategies that you've chosen. Listen. Fear is usually the big, scary guard at the gate of your comfort zone.
Lori Gouhin [00:08:22]:
It'll whisper tales of potential failure and embarrassment to keep you safely inside. But the key to dealing with fear isn't to eliminate it, because let's be real, that's nearly impossible. But to learn to dance with it, so to speak, embrace it as a sign that you're pushing boundaries and you're growing. I hear you. I see you. Now step aside while I figure this out. So if fear is keeping you from moving forward, here's a few suggestions to turn it around. Start with small changes, because gradual steps can help you in adjusting to new situations and reduce the fear that's often associated with major changes.
Lori Gouhin [00:09:02]:
View your challenges as opportunities for learning and growth. This can help you transform how you approach stepping out of your comfort zone. You also want to gradually expose yourself to the feared situation, because that can help reduce anxiety little by little. What can you do? Today, for example, before I started this podcast, one of my fears was talking in the mic. Not literally afraid of the mic, but you know what I'm saying. And so I just had to practice just a little bit here and there, talking into the mic. Was I announcing my podcast? No. Was I uploading it into buzzsprout? No.
Lori Gouhin [00:09:37]:
Was I hiring an editor? No. I was just practicing little by little, exposing myself to that fear of what was I going to sound like and what was I going to say. Also, having a support system, whether it's friends, family, a professional coach, people like that in your life, will give you encouragement and help to hold you accountable, to do the things that you say that you're going to do or that you want to do, and engage in reflective practices like we've talked about many times before, journaling, meditation. These can help you understand the underlying reasons for resistance to change, and then you can develop strategies to address them. I've talked about this on previous episodes. It's so important. Again, like when I wanted to be an artist and I thought to be a professional artist, I needed a website. That's where not the only, of course, but one of my resistances was I felt like I needed to have a website.
Lori Gouhin [00:10:33]:
So once I figured that resistance out, I could do something about it. All right, so just to recap, to break free from your comfort zone, you must first recognize its existence and understand the factors that are contributing to it. It can be challenging, and it can require confronting uncomfortable truths about your life and the choices that you're making. But acknowledge that you are keeping yourself in comfort zones and accept the need to change that. Accepting that is crucial for shifting the mindset from denial to action. And often our negative comfort zones are symptoms of deeper issues, and identifying these underlying factors, whether they be emotional, psychological, perhaps situational, is also essential for effective change. You can also contrast your negative comfort zone by setting positive goals, as we said, realistic goals. They can provide you with direction and motivation.
Lori Gouhin [00:11:28]:
And these goals should reflect what you genuinely desire, not goals just to escape from the current situation. Because if you don't know what you desire, you won't be able to create a roadmap to get there. Figuring your way out of your negative comfort zone can indeed be complex and challenging. So most importantly, give yourself grace. Abrupt changes can be overwhelming. Implementing gradual, sustainable changes can lead to long term success and reduce your likelihood of reverting back to your old patterns. Ultimately, stepping out of your comfort zone. It's not just about facing your fears or embracing new experiences.
Lori Gouhin [00:12:09]:
It's about evolving into a more resilient, adaptable and fulfilled person. It's a commitment to yourself. So how about you make today the day that you finally commit to yourself?
Lori Gouhin [00:12:20]:
That's a wrap for today, my friends. Thank you for sharing your time with me. And remember to show up in your life like the masterpiece you are because.
Lori Gouhin [00:12:28]:
You are the artwork.
Lori Gouhin [00:12:30]:
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Lori Gouhin [00:12:32]:
Have a fabulous day. It close.