03 - Jordan Graham - Millennial Mindset and the Art of Optimism

Another soul-stirring episode of the Show Up and Shine podcast! Today, I'm joined by the ever-inspirational Jordan Graham, a millennial mindset coach who's redefining what it means to live a life of purpose and positivity.

In this episode, Jordan shares his compelling journey, a testament to the power of faith, resilience, and the courage to transform adversity into opportunity. We delve into how our beliefs and the language we use can shape our reality, and how embracing our true value can lead us to live as ambassadors of hope and change.

Jordan's insights on false humility and the significance of the sounds we contribute to our environments are not just thought-provoking; they're life-changing. He reminds us that we're all candidates for miracles, capable of influencing the world in profound ways.

As we gear up for the Spring season of the Pure Coaching Academy, Jordan's story is a perfect example of the transformative impact of coaching. His journey from overcoming personal challenges to becoming a beacon of light for others is a powerful illustration of what we aim to nurture in our coaches.

Tune in for an episode that's not just a conversation, but a journey into the heart of what it means to live optimistically, serve generously, and shine brightly. Let Jordan's story inspire you to embrace your own path with courage and optimism.

Powered by and edited by Mike Roberts at Making Digital Real

Transcript

0:00

(Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai - Go Unlimited to remove this message) We have something of service to give. I think when we see ourselves as being of service and we're adding value, that has helped me to understand that there's gifts and there's skills and there's abilities that I have that is not to benefit only myself, but it's to benefit the world around me, it's to support my community, it's to support a generation. As you said, one thing that I'm really passionate about is influencing the mindset of people. This is the Show Up and Shine podcast with your host, Carol-Anne Rice. Forget your vitamin-packed smoothies, this episode's guest provides sustenance for the soul. Learn Jordan Graham's everyday tips for a deeper connection with yourself and life. Get ready for another amazing episode of Show Up and Shine. Hey, welcome everybody. I hope you're all having a great day. We know it's going to be an awesome day because before we set up the podcast, a load of tech problems happened. My guest today, Jordan Graham, absolutely insists that when there's going to be an auspicious, fabulous day, technology usually lets you down. I would love that to be the case because technology is always letting me down. Anyway, welcome everybody to Show Up and Shine, the podcast that basically gets under the skin of people to find out what motivates them, what inspires them, and what gets them to show up and shine. Even when it's rainy, you want to be under the duvet and you're not feeling 100%. I'm absolutely delighted to welcome today a really fabulous speaker, an inspirational person, actually. He calls himself a millennial mindset coach. Wow, amazing. But he's more than that. He's an influencer. He is an inspirer and a motivator for a whole new millennial generation. Welcome, Jordan Graham. Thank you so much. Good morning, Caroline. Thank you for having me. The introduction I hope I can keep up with. I hope I can give credit to you. Well, the little I've seen of you over the weeks, because you trained at my academy, so I did see you each week, but you always had something profoundly interesting to say. As I said every week, I could listen to you all day because you always draw upon inspirational quotes or from your heart. I know that courage is one of your values. Tell us what you're all about at the moment, Jordan. What are you up to? What are you doing? At the moment, I am, as you said, I've recently graduated from the life coaching course and now a qualified life coach, which I'm really thrilled about. It's something that I've wanted to do for many years. I think that it really consolidates my skillset. It really gives me, not that I would say I needed it, but it gives me permission to walk into certain rooms and to speak amongst certain people and have the paper to back what I believe is already on the inside. That's what I'm doing at the moment, building my clientele, building my profile. I'm building myself as a person, as you said, walking and leading with courage and with great optimism at the moment. We're living in very uncertain times. We're living in times when people need optimism, they need hope, they need answers, they need solutions, they need possibilities, they need light. That's what I'm here to be, to be a light, to be an encourager and to motivate people to bring the best of them out for their world also. That's amazing. You're right, the world does need more hope at the moment. I think all faith and hope and optimism takes courage because you're believing in something that has yet to happen. Correct. We all want certainty. How do you believe in the uncertain? How do you believe in the unknown? I think that is when true courage comes in, is having the courage to believe that things are getting better. How do you do that? How do you have this wellspring of optimism, Jordan? What drives that? There's a few factors that drive my decisions and my choices because ultimately that's what it comes down to. I think we come to a place in our life where we make a decision and we make a choice. The glass can either be half empty or it can be half full. I think for me, I've chosen to look at life from the perspective that it is always half full, that there's possibilities, that there's chances and there's opportunities. I think a lot of that stems from two main factors. The first factor most definitely is my faith. My faith in God has really shaped and transformed my mindset. It's transformed my life. It's allowed me to know that not only am I here to receive blessings and good things, but I'm also here to give and I'm here to serve and I'm here for a purpose. I'm here to add value. There's something that I have which is unique to me, which is actually a solution for somebody else. I think that's where I find that get up and go and that drive and that determination. Most definitely to know that I can be, little old me, can be of service to the wider world. I say little old me, but actually that could be a limited belief because some of the things that we say over ourself, we actually dumb down and we try and suppress, really, which is false humility. Actually, we all have something of value to give to the world. I'm changing my language. I guess as I change my language, that's how I'll change and view myself and that's how I'll be of credit and service to the world. That's the first thing. I think the second thing also, in complete honesty, is my background and where I come from, the community that I'm part of, the area that I grew up in. I didn't grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth. I didn't grow up with many positive role models in my local area. I went to a school that was close to being on special measures. It was rough and it was tough. I think that there's part of me, number one, that doesn't want to not only exist in that place. I don't want to go back to that place. I think there may be not a fear element, but I think there's an element to know I've always had optimism and great faith that my life can be better. I don't know where that comes from. I've always had wonder. I've never dared to dream and conversations that we've had and aspirations and goals that I have, I'm very advantageous. I'm very courageous. I don't struggle to think big. I think, why not? Why discount myself? Why isn't it that I have the opportunities and the experiences that I see all of these people having? Why not back myself and give life a go? I love that because you've mentioned in our conversations in the past, false humility. I've never heard this phrase before. I like it because it's not bragging. It's not showing off. It's not downplaying everything. You have to be embarrassed about your own talent. Tell me what false humility means to you then. False humility to me, and it's a phrase that I've been learning. I think the two greatest lessons that I've learned over the past, I'll say three to four years being in leadership and being in positions of influence, which I take very seriously. One of the greatest lessons is false humility. What that simply means is that knowing that you are... Okay, an example of false humility before I explain what it means. An example of false humility is you receiving a compliment about a wonderful dress that you're wearing, and you say, oh, no, it's only from Primark and it only costs 6.99, to make the other person feel better because we struggle to receive compliments, because we don't want to come across as being braggadocious. We don't want to come across as being cocky or high-minded, et cetera. We struggle with compliments, et cetera. I think from a place of false humility, it's really knowing that we have something of service to give. I think when we see ourselves as being of service and we're adding value, that has helped me to understand that there's gifts and there's skills and there's abilities that I have that is not to benefit only myself, but it's to benefit the world around me. It's to support my community. It's to support a generation. As you said, one thing that I'm really passionate about is influencing the mindset of people to allow them to know that there's greater on the inside of them, to know that there is no such thing as impossible. Everything is possible. You have as many opportunities as you desire to have. I think that sometimes living with false humility will make you miss out on opportunities that are only there for a small space of time. There's a phrase that says, the opportunity of a lifetime is only there for the lifetime of the opportunity. There's a small window that you have. If you dim your light, not to say that you're bigger or better than anybody else, it just means that, no, I'm stepping up to the table to be of service to somebody else. I'll give you an example for that. There's been many times, especially over the past few years, where I've received messages based upon some of the encouragement that I've shared maybe on social media and doing influencing roles, et cetera. I think to myself, the impact that that's had on somebody else's life and what I've been able to share with that person, had I been humble and had I not evolved into the version of myself, if I had not unsubscribed to fear, because that's really what it is. It's fear of opinion. That's what we struggle with massively. We struggle with the opinions of other people, how they view and perceive us. If I had given into that, I wouldn't have been able to be a blessing and add value to somebody else's life. That's why I really hit home on false humility, because we do a disservice to humanity. I completely agree. I love that quote by Marianne Williamson, when you shine your light, you unconsciously give other people's permission to shine theirs. It's like, why shouldn't we shine our light? Your strength, your energy isn't screw off, it isn't look at me. There's a strength in it and a wisdom in it, which is very pleasant and easy and clean to listen to. It isn't bragging. That's the difference. It's like, if someone says, you did well, instead of saying, no, I didn't, you're saying, yeah, thanks, and I'm trying to do it because, and you don't dismiss it. You own it. I completely agree with you with opportunity. I always see opportunities like a comet that flies over. If you don't grab that comet's tail, because it's not going to come again so soon, sometimes opportunities only come once, you have to grab it and say yes, even if you're thinking, no, I can't do this, grab that tail and give it your best shot, rather than let it fly over and someone else has grabbed it saying, I can, I can. So yeah, always say yes and possibility. But I want to know if your investment in positivity and optimism, hope, and the belief that things will be better, has created things that will be better. So your thoughts become a self-fulfilling prophecy, because you are expecting the very best and the best possible scenario. Correct. Absolutely. I think that language is very important. We spoke at the start of this conversation, the things that we speak over ourself and how we begin to think, we actually begin to manifest. We begin to actually actualize and it comes into our reality. I was listening to something recently, so I won't say that I came up with this school of thought, but the school of thought was in relation to sound. That everything has a sound. Success has a tone of voice. Depression has a sound. Anxiety has a sound. Blessing has a sound. Giving has a sound. Joy has a sound. So if you are in a situation that you're not quite happy in, the question to ask is, what sound are you contributing to that situation? That marriage, that relationship, that business, that job. What is the sound? So environments are so important. How do we steward the sound? Do we add value to it? Do we walk into a room where there's gossip and there's slander and there's backbites and there's those things? And what's the sound that we create? Do we add to that sound or do we say, this is probably not the sound that I want to be part of? Very interesting. I love that. That joy has a sound, anxiety has a sound, neediness has a sound, fear has a lot of, you know, is a terrible sound. And walking into a room after a row and you haven't heard the row, there's something in the air that you think, oh, yeah. So we should be transmitters of like, you know, like telephone masks or whatever of transmitting positivity, joy, possibility, optimism, miracles, blessings. Absolutely. And we then become ambassadors. That's what we do. We become ambassadors of something which is of life and it's liberating. And we, people will always usually say, right, when they, the reason why charities are such a big organisation is because people have an opportunity to partner with something that feels good, right? Something that is serving, something that is giving, something that gives hope and gives life and it adds value and it produces after its kind, right? Which is loving, which is preferring, which is serving. And all of that has a sound, you know? It does something. And yeah, there's much more I could speak on in relation to sound. You know, great things have a great sound. If you hear a jumbo jet, you would hear it before you see it, right? Yeah. And the Super Bowl last night, those crowds, you know, that was a stadium sound. Absolutely. And this is how influential sound is, right? Whenever you watch a movie, you are never guided by what's taking place visually. You're guided by what takes place audibly. Sound, jaws. You haven't seen the shark bite anybody yet, but the sound that it makes, makes a difference in your being. Going back to what you just said, which really lit me up, was we are all ambassadors for life. What that sentence means that everyone is important and has a responsibility to be that ambassador, whether it is an ambassador of doom, negativity and bad things are going to happen, or I'm an ambassador for change, of positivity, of help, of support, of possibility. That gives the individual such power over their lives. If you call them an ambassador of life. I love that. Absolutely. You know, I think, again, it's language. The question is, do we really understand language? And do we understand the power of words? Do we understand that, as the Bible says, in the tongue, right, is life and death. So you can speak over a child, right? And you can say, shut up, I don't like you and sit down. Or you can say, do you know what son? Do you know what daughter? Do you know what child? I love you. You're going to get better. Okay, for an example, in my home, which I'm in right now, okay, there is no, I never say that any person who steps into my home has a weakness. Right? I say, we have areas of development. Okay. Brilliant. But the psychology behind it, because if you say, well, I'm weak, and I'm not good, and I can't, well, you absolutely can. Maybe you need to develop in that area. It's the same thing, but it's said in a different way. But what that does is that liberates a person. That gives them an ability to know that, no, I actually can. And as we said about, you know, if we were to use terms, excuse me, such as an ambassador for life, which I'm going to coin. Yeah, that's brilliant. You know, we can actually begin to really change the mindsets and the outlook and the perspective of people and how they view themselves. Like they actually have autonomy over their own life. And I think that now, many people don't feel like they have autonomy, they don't have control over their life. Things are spiraling out, you know, in every direction. And they don't feel like they can actually have a grab on life. And how do they then take ownership over that? But I believe that is so it's possible on a minute by minute basis, I am not diminishing that people are worried about money and the future and you know that their situation in life. However, your perspective and your what you do with that, whether you just decline into depression and hopelessness, or you decide I'm going to face in and do whatever I can, and be positive for my children, positive for my friends or for my community, that's down to the individual. And I know that life does bring us to our knees sometimes. But it's still a choice whether you start taking the tiniest little bit of effort to step up from that. I'm not talking about clinical depression, but just trying to view what what is working, what can I actually do to start making things a bit better. So you know, you're obviously a very driven and inspired person. Do you ever have those days where you think I can't do this anymore? Now, by the way, listeners, do check out Jordan on Instagram, Jordan Graham's his beautiful wife, Ketsia and Jordan, beautiful, fabulous photos, you always look immaculate, beautiful together. You're the Instagram couple. But do you have days when you think I don't want I don't want to do this. The house is a mess. I'm not feeling it. I don't want to take any photos. We don't look great. I don't feel great. How does what do you do when you have days like that? Absolutely. Listen, life is we have four seasons. Nature gives us four seasons naturally. Okay, and I think we have those four seasons in our life. You know, I guess annually also we have the seasons that are winter seasons that are really tough, and they're challenging and you don't want to get out of bed and rise up to the challenge. And we I have those days. You know, from time to time, I have days where I don't believe that there is enough in the tank to keep on going, you know, or some days just like today, you know, it was a challenge. It took a long time to get on here. And, you know, etc. Excuse me. But I think that for me, what helps me and number one is my faith and belief. And I say that to say this, that in the Bible, which is where I draw a lot of my strength from, there's a particular scripture and it says that all things work together for good. And there are things that sometimes we understand the things sometimes that we don't understand. I'm going to be very vulnerable here. And I hope this will help somebody. But when I was 21, I was stabbed. Right, I was the victim of knife crime. And the bladed article was millimetres from puncturing my lungs. And it happened in a city centre near where I live in Nottingham. And I could have potentially bled out and died in the street. And I look at moments like that in my life. And there are many people who have really tough and challenging moments in life. And they have moments where they feel like life isn't worth living anymore. And things are so tough. And I've gone on a journey. It's not an immediate actualisation, but I've gone on a journey of knowing that if I can go through that, if I can go where life really gets me, where I was on death's door, and if life can get you to a place where you are on your knees and you feel like no hope is to be found, as long as you have breath in your lungs, you're a candidate for a miracle. That is such a blessed thing to say. I love that. A candidate for a miracle. As long as you have breath in your lungs, things can change. Things can turn around. Hope is there. The fact that you are breathing is a testament to the fact that things are going to change. Maybe not that second, maybe not that minute, maybe not that hour, and maybe not that day, but hold on. And that's my encouragement. Oh my goodness. Will someone give Jordan a TV programme, please? You must go into schools with this message as well, Jordan, and talk to these young people, young adults as well, about going down the candidate for life, the possibilities, being an ambassador, a candidate for miracles. It's a blessing. This is what young people need to hear. We all need to hear it regularly, actually. So we're looking forward to your book, your television programme, your college course. This is medicine for the soul here. Caroline, you have the media expertise. You need to help me. I'll put you forward. I'll be your agent too. Thank you. But it really is a lovely, lovely spring-like message that we need to hear, and maybe write on a post-it note and put it somewhere that we see every day, that we're a candidate for miracles. If we're breathing, you're alive, and that's a blessing, and to get on with it. That's right. I was going to say, I don't only believe that as theory. I live that every day. Do you know what, Jordan? That comes out with the noise you're making. You know, you're saying, it's the noise, the sound. It comes out, the sound you're making is good. It's the sound. It's good. Thank you. You're welcome. I was just going to say, the sound, though, it's learnt behaviour. There is, again, there's a responsibility. I had to learn to bridle my tongue. I had to learn to make positive confession. I had to learn. It's not an overnight thing. It's, can you put this into, can you look at yourself every day, in the mirror, and say, I am a candidate for a miracle? Right? I am an ambassador. I'm going to be saying that every day now. Am I a candidate for a miracle? Am I an ambassador for life? That's it. And you speak those things, and then you begin to embody that as a culture, as a lifestyle, as a duty, and being of service. And then what happens is you become infectious, right? You go into a room and you change the atmosphere. And you partner with life, rather than things that are negative and things that are dead. I completely agree. You know, I have a lot of clients who are looking for love, men and women. And one of the things I say is, that's an add-on. But first of all, you've got to be a really happy person in your own life, and a joyous person. Because if you're going out on dates, or entering a room with fear, negativity, neediness, anger, resentment from the past, that's your message, or your sound, as you would say. That's the message you're bringing into the room. And people can spot that, just as they can spot a happy, charismatic, joyful person, suddenly that person's attractive. No matter what they look like, they're happy and attractive because of the joy. And they're unencumbered by fear, resentment from the past, holding on to grudges, or fear I'll never meet someone. So it's about changing your bandwidth here, to attract in what you want for your life too, and becoming it, being it, stepping into it as well. And I know that you're very much someone who wants to spark the greatness in everybody. And tell us a little bit about the charity that you're working with as well, Jordan. Sure. So I, a few years back, became friends with a wonderful couple who live in Nottingham. And they run a small charity, but they do big things. And they're amazing. And they're really close friends of mine. The charity is called Operation Orphan. And the reason why I love this charity is because, firstly, 100% of the donations that are made to the charity actually go towards the cause. And not many charities can actually say that. And I think just because of their ethics, and their values, which is very important to me, that they carry and that they uphold, I really believe in. And I think I went on a journey of understanding more about the charity. And then my wife became a part of the charity. And she became what's called a crisis response, well, a part of the crisis response section. And basically, a crisis responder means that if there's a natural disaster anywhere in the world, where children could be impacted and affected, and they could become orphaned, we actually mobilise a small team of different skill sets of people, and they go out to those areas. So my wife has been out to Zimbabwe. She was recently in Moldova when the UK war kind of took place. And the objective is to identify young children, make them safe, and keep them safe, contact them with local social services, and also do aftercare as well. So there's many things that the charity does. And now I've recently become a trustee of that charity as well. So I'm a director of the charity also. Brilliant, I'll include a link to the charity when it goes up in my newsletter as well. Well, that's it's been so exciting to speak to you on a Monday morning where tech went mad. But as you say, it means great things are happening. It's like there's something that crackles in the air and gets technology kind of freaked out, because something awesome is coming. I love that. So that don't catastrophize that you don't know about tech, it means amazing things are coming. But that is who you are. You are the man who thinks amazing things are coming. Our best day is yet to come. And our takeaways are, are you a candidate for miracles? And you are an ambassador for life. Say that when you're looking in the bathroom mirror each day, not I put on weight and I don't look great today. Those are the two mantras we should be saying. And you are a living spark of joy, Jordan. And I'm also going to be thinking as I go about my day, what sound am I bringing into the room? What's that? No more moaning no more. Oh, things aren't great. Oh dear, I'm going to really watch what I'm emitting. My transmitter is emitting. It's been a joy talking to you. Is there anything you'd like to say before you sign off today for our listeners? I just want to say, you know, at this time, be encouraged, be encouraged. Encouraged has the word courage in it. Be courageous. Whatever you've procrastinated on, whatever you're thinking about.