RESET and REGULATE: A Journey to Reclaim Joy

Join us on Wild Development Studio as Lauren chats with Gabrielle Juliano-Villani a renowned coach and stress specialist. Gabrielle shares her transformative journey from a high-stress career in social work to leading retreats focused on real self-care and burnout recovery. Discover the power of digital detoxes, mindful nature experi,ences, and the importance of aligning your life with your values. Get inspired to develop something wild within yourself!

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Transcript

I did a digital detox in January. 
At first I felt anxious. 
Like I was like, I need to check my phone. 
But it's important to, to step away from that because yes, phones are important, 
but when we're staring at our phones all the time, we're missing out on all the really amazing, 
beautiful things that are happening in our lives right in front of us. 
Welcome to Wild Development Studio. 
Studio. Join us as we venture into the breathtaking realm of wildlife arts and untamed adventures. 
With captivating stories from the field and ideas to dive into the visual arts, 
we'll ignite your passion for conservation. 
Get ready to develop something wild. 
Welcome to Wild Developments. 
I'm your guide, Lauren. 
Today we're talking to Gabrielle Giuliano valani with a successful track record of coaching in the sba and scaling her group practice to seven figures gabrielle is not just an expert she's a mentor who understands the challenges that therapists face after onboarding enough people to thoroughly test a smooth onboarding process she is excited to help other therapists effortlessly expand their practice as an international speaker coach stress specialist and retreat leader gabrielle brings a unique blend of experience and expertise to guide you through the complexities of group practice development. 
Gabrielle, thank you so much for being here today. 
Thank you for having me. 
I'm really excited to chat with you. 
Me too. I know nature plays a big part of what you do now leading retreats, 
but first I want to dive into your past and being a licensed clinical social worker. 
I was in a burnout situation too. 
And I think it's important to remember why we got started in where we were before the burnout and why we put up with all that bull crap for so long until we couldn't take it anymore. 
So why did you want to be a social worker and what was that like? 
So I had always kind of, well, I had like two very different career paths, 
actually. 
I shouldn't say always. 
I, when I first went to college, I was like, I either want to be a psychologist and I want to work with high risk kids. 
Don't know where that came from. 
Or I want to work in the fashion industry, two completely different things. 
And I decided to go with fashion industry because I was like 17and I didn't know any better. 
So that's where I started. 
And I actually went to school for fashion merchandising in New York first. 
And I absolutely hated it. 
I was like, this is not for me i'm too sensitive i'm not good with like you know it's very competitive i'm not competitive like that and it just didn't feel like a good fit for me and actually when i was in new york i met a friend who was a social worker and he was working with kids in foster care and i was like that sounds like something that i want to do i want to make a difference and i think that was the biggest piece that was missing when i was working in fashion is i was like i didn't feel like i was giving anything and i like didn't really have a purpose it didn't feel like it had deeper meaning so that is how i got started in social work so what did you absolutely love about the job it's fast paced and so that's good for some people bad for others for me i really enjoy that and still enjoy that i've created a life where i still get to do that so in social work. 
Like, you know, every day is always different. 
Nothing is ever the same. 
You're working with different people. 
You're working with different industries. 
You're out in the field a lot. 
So it's always different. 
And I really liked that. 
And I love too that I was able to help people and I was able to see that help. 
Not always, but a lot of times, like, you know, with my kids, 
when I was working in child protective services, if they were in foster care, 
I got to see them go back home to their parents. 
And so it was really rewarding. 
And again, I liked that it was always different and I wasn't just sitting in front of a desk every day. 
What, at what point did you realize that you couldn't do that anymore? 
If you can talk about that part of your story. 
Yeah. 
So there were two times where this happened. 
And the first was when I was working in child protective services, I'd been there for almost almost three years, 
which in that field is like very seasoned because most people don't last that long because it is very high stress and high strong. 
And I kept hanging on because I didn't want to leave the kids on my caseload and the families on my caseload. 
And that environment was pretty toxic also. 
And they were, you know, using that to hang over my head too. 
Like if you leave, who's going to take care of these kids and your families love you and your clients love you, 
but I was working like 70,80hours a week. 
I was sick. 
I was having nightmares. 
I had a very, very, very high acuity caseload. 
So I had a lot of really difficult, complex cases and I kept hanging on. 
And then, um, this was in like 2015,I think I, my supervisor who had had been there for 25years quit with no notice. 
And I was like, oh shit. 
And then it actually gave me the push because I was like, if she can leave, 
then I can leave too. 
And I can find something different. 
So I did. 
And then I moved on to working as a care manager for an insurance company, 
which I actually really loved, but they were doing some layoffs and I knew that our team was next. 
So that's when I moved into private practice, which I also loved because I was was working for myself. 
And because of the clients that I was working with, I got really full really quickly because of my niche. 
So I thought, well, like, what do I do now? 
And, um, actually one of my Zumba students who was an OT said, 
why don't you hire somebody? 
It's a great way to scale your business. 
You can just become a group practice. 
And I was like, okay, I don't know how to do that, but I'll figure it out. 
And I did. 
And I hired one person and that went well and she got full. 
So I hired another and then before I knew it in 2021,I had 15people working for me and I was super, 
super burnt out because I never had done any of the internal work that I should have done beforehand about people pleasing and setting clear boundaries and it all just kind of came to a head. 
So in 2021,I sold my group practice and I completely pivoted and now I do things that that are more in line with my own purpose and vision, 
which is retreats and consulting and coaching. 
So it almost sounds like you went through burnout a couple of times. 
Yeah, for sure, definitely. 
And I keep finding myself in the, what age are you? 
I'm gonna be 37next week. 
Okay, because I'm 42.
So maybe it's just our generation where we push ourselves to that point of exhaustion and burnout. 
Out how can you recognize in yourself when you're getting to that point of burnout that's a great question and I also agree with you I think that Gen Z has it a little bit more figured out than our generation did and there's definitely I think a message for our generation about hustling and what success should look like and what we're supposed to be doing so good for you Gen Z that you don't have to deal with that hopefully but we're learning as we go yeah and i think you know burnout a lot of people use that term interchangeably with stress and it's actually different so stress is too much and like always going going going like the hustling and burnout is actually the opposite of that burnout is not enough so burnout is more like being numb for me. 
The biggest things that I noticed were apathy. 
So that was a really big red flag, especially being a therapist where I'm supposed to be holding space for my clients and listening to their stories and helping them move through things. 
I would be like, when is this session going to be over? 
I can't like sit here and listen to this anymore. 
If my team needed me, it was like i don't care i hate being needed like i can't reply to you right now like everything just felt really overwhelming and like too much and so the apathy was the biggest red flag and then i also think just like irritability and my mood too that was another big red flag and just noticing that like i was always angry i was always in a bad mood i was snippy at everybody around me i I couldn't be compassionate to anyone. 
Everything just felt really overwhelming. 
And that's just kind of when I realized, like, I actually remember one day I woke up and I was like, 
I just want to throw my phone against the wall. 
Like, I just want to burn this all down. 
I can't do it anymore. 
And I was like, I don't want to live like that. 
That's not really living or engaging. 
Right. And so that's kind of, that was like my wake up call, 
I guess. 
So what did you do to try and get over that once you've recognized that in yourself that you were feeling that burnout you made some changes i it take i sometimes it's been almost four years i still feel like i'm recovering from burnout how are some what are some things that you did to to recover i agree with that i think i started feeling burned out in 2020and now it's 2024.
24.And I still struggle with that sometimes too. 
So I think it's important to remember that it was a pattern that took a really long time to get there and it takes a long time to undo it also. 
So the things that helped me are actually all really small things. 
And so I think people think there's like this big, amazing thing that happens, 
but it really was just a lot of small small things. 
Going on a retreat was really helpful to me. 
And also learning about myself and learning about my own values. 
I did a lot of work. 
I'm like, what do I actually want my life to look like? 
What lights me up? 
What gets me excited? 
How can I make sure that I'm doing those things every single day? 
Or how do I make sure that like my career, my job, whatever is aligned lined with those. 
And those were the really big things. 
And every day that just really looks like pausing, checking in with myself, 
making sure that if somebody asked me to do something, you know, I was always a person that would say yes, 
even if it was too much. 
And so now I know I need to pause. 
Like, is that okay? 
Is that something that I really want to do? 
Or am I having a response that's telling me maybe that's not really what you like or what's in line with you? 
Or maybe it's on a day where I'm already doing too much. 
And I know that I have to be very intentional about my own energy levels. 
And so if I am recording a podcast with you, I'm not going to record a podcast with somebody else on the same day, 
because I know that, that I have to be very present and I have to give a lot of myself here and I want to do that. 
Therefore, I'm not going to book a bunch of other things where I have to do that in the same day. 
And of course, I know that i'm very privileged that i i can work in that way and not everybody can but there are still ways that you can pay attention to your own energy levels and create things that work best for you so those are some ways my energy again is a really big one i know that i'm lucky enough to live in a place where it's sunny a lot of the year and warm and so taking walks being outside getting morning morning sunlight is hugely. 
Hugely important to me. 
And again, I know that sounds really small, like, but if I don't get sun in the morning, 
it makes a very big difference in my mood. 
I absolutely agree with that. 
Our cell phones, like, how do you take a moment to check in with yourself? 
Because you have, we all have these stupid rectangular devices that are always beeping at us, 
telling us, no, pay attention to me when we really need attention to ourselves. 
This is such a good point. 
And it's so funny that you bring that up because I literally wrote an email this morning to my email list about how we're like addicted to our screens. 
And I mean, I'm no exception. 
A lot of my business comes from social media and I run Facebook groups and I have to post on Instagram and all the things that we have to do. 
And I think it's important to again pay attention to that but also I did a digital detox in January and I did one last January too and I should probably do it way more often than that but I you know at first I felt anxious like I was like I need to check my phone and I need to make sure that like nobody commented on this post or nobody asked me this or that or what's the next thing that's going on i need to check my email and i think i felt like that like the first day or two and then it kind of subsided and it felt really good to be away from my phone so phones you know yes they are important we need them but when i did that digital detox nothing bad happened nobody died nobody couldn't get a hold of me if they needed to my business did not flounder you know and I have things in place to help with that I have you know automations and processes and people that help me but it's important to to step away from that because yes phones are important but when we're staring at our phones all the time we're missing out on all the really really amazing. 
Beautiful things that are happening in our lives right in front of us. 
Absolutely. I'm taking a class on forest bathing. 
And part of that was there's a whole section on digital detox and they suggested four days. 
And I'm like, I don't know that I could go four days without looking at my phone. 
Is that how long you did it for? 
I did it for probably, yeah, I think it was like four or five days. 
Wow. And it's hard. 
And also last year in January, I was kind of forced into it because where we were traveling and we were in the Cook Islands, 
which is far, far away, and they don't really have great Wi -Fi there. 
And so my phone just doesn't work. 
So there was nothing to do except for use it to take pictures. 
That's my plan then. 
I'm going to get to the Cook Islands. 
I approve of that. 
I agree with that. 
It's the only way, you know, but it does help. 
And I was in Belize and we were where we were staying didn't have great wi -fi either so I couldn't really check that's a good way to do it yeah well I mean and you know all about that with leading retreats so what inspired you to start leading retreats so I was really inspired because of the retreat that I had been on and how much it helped me and I could see that it really does make a difference so i think if you're on the outside looking in you might be like what can you do in like a couple of days that can't really make a big difference but it actually does and so that helped me see that like yes when you do take a step back from your real life doesn't fix everything right like you still have to go back and the emails will be there and your your phone will be there and whatever. 
But being on a retreat really gives you the space and time to step back from the everyday and to be kind of like in a vacuum where you can learn more about yourself, 
tune into yourself, connect with others and really learn the skills that you need to go back to manage your stress better. 
And I think that was the biggest thing that I noticed too is like we don't have time or we don't prioritize it and so we just kind of are going through the motions every single day and we're on autopilot but when you can take a step back and prioritize yourself and have that space to integrate and also in a different environment is huge because we're all a lot of us work from home or we're just like in our day -to -day right but if you can go to a place that's new and different the energy is different the nature is different and that plays a huge part in all of it too and what type of person are these retreats good for they are good for anybody who is struggling with managing their stress anybody who feels burnt out or who has been burnt out before or if you're looking to just really do deeper deeper self -care. 
So my retreats, I call it, you know, that it focuses on real self -care because self -care has been like so watered down and everybody is like, 
oh, get a massage or take a bubble bath, but that doesn't solve things, 
right? 
So my retreats really focus on nervous system regulation, which is important because that's how we manage our emotions and everybody has a nervous system. 
So, and there's men and women that come, and I know that sounds really broad, 
but usually the people that come to my retreats are high achievers, people that are always going and people that really want to do the deeper work and take a step back. 
Yeah. I find that because I signed myself up for like local retreats and I'm like, 
this is my excuse to, to put it like, cause I'm always go, 
go, go, go. 
And I don't know how to stop. 
So I I definitely use that retreat time as a way to unplug from everything. 
Can you talk about some of the healing and wellness benefits that happen during your retreats? 
I know you talked about Belize. 
What are some of the benefits of being in nature down there? 
Oh, God, it's so beautiful. 
And I love that, especially with Belize. 
I mean, you can have an amazing retreat in so many places. 
Is what i love about belize is that it's very easy to get to for most of us so if you're in north america in the u .s and canada it's really easy like four hour flight from most places and it's a central time zone so you're not like having to go back or forward six hours which that makes a really big difference too and of course it's beautiful it's a newer country it's a little bit smaller the vibe is similar to Costa Rica but I like to say it's like a little bit more rustic so it's not as like bougie as some of the places in Costa Rica and that's actually what I really like about it and you have the jungle and the coast which I also really love so the one I just did in January we were in the jungle we were on the McCall River we had all of these amazing birds and animals coming to visit us every day at breakfast and at dinner and the pool is like this infinity pool and you're overlooking the river and i remember laying there next to one of the participants and you know we were sunbathing and just talking and she was like look at the green trees next to the bright blue sky and look how stunning that is like those are little little moments that we call glimmers that make a huge. 
Huge difference in your stress and just being mindful. 
And then of course, the one that I'm hosting in June is on the coast. 
It's on a private island resort. 
So we have the ocean and lots of other different animals. 
But I mean, there's tons of research that if people don't know that blue and green are actually very calming to your to your body and to your mind and so being surrounded by that is hugely important what are some of the other activities that you guys do on these retreats so in the one in the jungle we did some river tubing which was really cool we went to some mayan temples we hiked to the belize botanic gardens and saw all of the really cool indigenous plants that are local to belize we also had a mayan shaman come and do a blessing for us and then in june we will also have some cultural things that will be happening um with some local belizeans who will come and do some drumming and teach us more about the culture there and we'll also be snorkeling to the reef so there's a barrier reef in belize that's the biggest one in the northern hemisphere so we'll be snorkeling there we'll be paddle boarding and kayaking together and then we will also do some stargazing because there's no light pollution so you can actually see all the beautiful planets and stars in the night sky man well how many how many people do you take on your they're small and intimate and i plan to keep them that way um so no more than like 12to 14.
13but I actually really prefer like 8to 10is kind of the sweet spot so do you I talked to somebody a couple weeks ago and he does photography trips and they still meet once a year and they stay in contact with each other I imagine traveling to someplace as beautiful as Belize you guys really form a connection do you still stay in contact with some of the people that have been on the retreats yes and that's actually one of the best things that come out of it actually I find is the connection and we think in the retreat like all of these activities and all of the you know the sound healing and the group coaching and all those things that I do are like the most important but it's really the connection and the community and the things that happen outside of those moments that I find are strongest and we have a whatsapp chat and we're still talking in there we're sharing a lot of recipes because the food was also really amazing so we're like sharing all the like smoothies that we learned to make there and like this belizean chicken soup that is so good and yeah so we're all super connected still and still talking in our whatsapp and also on social media which is really cool to see that's fantastic because then you know you can go on a vacation and then once it's over it's over but when you have an experience with other other people like that. 
And you've built that community. 
I mean, that's, that's priceless. 
It really is. 
And it's really just so, it's so special and it's so magical and it's not something that you can just recreate every day. 
Yeah. What has been your favorite activity to do in nature, either during the retreat or on your own? 
Oh, that's a good question. 
I think, um. 
Um, it's interesting because I am such an ocean person and I like being on the water. 
And so I really love doing water activities. 
I love paddle boarding. 
I like to surf, but I actually just really love both on retreats and not just being mindful and being outside. 
And so that might just be like a quick walk or a quick hike. 
But, and when I say mindful, I mean like being totally present and like taking time and space to not be on my phone and to notice what's happening around me. 
Is the sun shining? 
Am I hearing birds? 
What am I seeing? 
Like those moments are just, they just make such a big difference again, 
like I said earlier in my mood. 
And I think it's just so important because we don't stop to do that very often. 
I definitely agree see do you have a favorite memory in nature who I do and I mean I have a lot but I'm thinking most recently I just came back from Columbia and my friend there was getting married and we did some really amazing things in nature. 
And the one that just came to mind was we did a coffee tour. 
And in Columbia, they still handpick all the cherries to be roasted into the beans. 
And we did that experience. 
And it was just very eye opening. 
First of all, it was super meditative, because you're just in this field, 
like looking for the correct, they have to be dark red. 
So you're like looking for the dark red ones to pick and put them in your little basket. 
And so that whole thing was very meditative. 
But it was also just perspective that, like, this is where the coffee comes from that I'm drinking every single morning. 
Somebody is out here handpicking it. 
That's a whole new gratitude on your cup of coffee in the morning. 
Yes, for sure. 
Man. 
I wonder what they need to wake up in the morning. 
I know. 
And they're out there early, too, because it's so hot. 
And so, like, that was the other thing is, like, the sun is, 
like, beating down on us. 
And we were only doing that for, like, 20minutes. 
Instead of hours you know so it was just really eye -opening have you had a moment outdoors where you had to face some sort of obstacle planned or unexpected and you overcame that obstacle I can talk and how did you come out on the other side of it yeah I'm trying to think of something that's maybe not so intense but the first one that I thought of actually was my husband and I were hiking when we used to live in Colorado this was probably like 10years ago and we were hiking up to I think it's called Bailey Lake I can't remember but anyway it's like a two mile mile well four mile out and back and it's very remote and we were the only people up there and we got a little bit off trail and that was kind of scary and we were like a little bit confused about where we needed to go and I'm like trying to use the compass on my phone but I'm like all turned around and it was almost sunset which was also really scary so it was like a little bit later in the day. 
And I, you know, I was looking at my phone for the compass and then I look up and a mama moose was standing like close, 
like within 10,12feet. 
And she had her two little babies with her. 
And I was like, oh shit. 
You know, like if you've never been close to a moose before, they're huge. 
And it was super intimidating because she was with her babies. 
And I was like, like, am I going to get like mauled down by this moose in time right now? 
And she was starting to do like the thing with her feet, like she was going to charge at me. 
So we just like, didn't make eye contact. 
And we were just still for a minute and she kind of checked us out and then they, 
they just moved on. 
So we made it and I lived. 
Oh man. It probably felt like an eternity standing there in front of this giant they're they are huge yeah they I mean it was again it was like incredible to see that up close in nature but it was terrifying and it was I think it was maybe like less than a minute but it felt like an hour it sounds like you guys did the right thing no eye contact staying calm yeah which was terrifying because again you know all these these things but when you're in the moment right you're like oh my god what do i do i forgot but we're safe incredible that something so big can just kind of sneak up on you like that too that's the other thing is like we didn't hear her at all and all of a sudden she's right in front of me so oh wow i'm glad you made it out okay me too we are almost out of time can you let people know how they can find you and how they can sign up for your retreats yeah i'm pretty easy to find because of my super long unique last name so my website is just my name with no hyphen it's gabrielle giuliano villani dot com and that's the same on linkedin facebook youtube and tick tock and then on instagram i'm at gjv consulting very good and i'll make sure to tag all those places is in the show notes. 
So somebody can, if they want to do a retreat with you, they can hop on and connect with you there. 
And before we go, do you have one tip for somebody that would like to connect or maybe reconnect with nature? 
I think my tip would be to start small. 
So I think sometimes, you know, when we get out of practice with things, 
it feels really overwhelming to add something. 
So even if you just go outside for 30seconds, or even though I know we're talking about phones and how bad they are, 
however, if that's all that you can manage, even just looking at a picture on your phone of nature is a really fast way to practice mindfulness and reset your nervous system and come back to a place where you can be really grounded and compassionate. 
That's a great tip. 
Thank you so much for being on the show today. 
Thank you for having me. 
And until next time, get outside and see what develops. 
Thanks for joining Wild Development Studio. 
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