Wild Developments
Wild Developments
Nature's Reach
In the latest episode, we talk with Richard, author of Nature's Reach, about his deeply personal journey through grief. After losing his father to cancer in 2020, Richard found solace and healing in nature, which inspired his writing. He shares how his wife encouraged him to document his experiences, leading to his first book and eventually to Nature's Reach. Richard's story highlights the unique, personal nature of grief and the profound healing power of the natural world.
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For me personally, because I can only speak for me, I didn't really take much notice and suddenly when I lost my dad I was sitting outside in my backyard and nature was right there and without me even realizing it,
it was helping me.
I was like wow, it's such a powerful force.
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Welcome to Wild Developments, where we explore the wild side of life and the depths of human emotion through stories of wildlife,
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Lauren, and today we are honored to introduce a special guest.
He turned his personal journey of loss into a powerful mission to help others navigate through grief richard john allen is an author known by his pen name john allen this is in honor of his father who passed away from cancer in.
2020.originally from liverpool and now residing in north carolina he left his corporate job after the loss of his father to write about coping with grief in his first book keep calm and cope with grief he shares personal experience and practical advice his second book life after this explores explores how past civilizations and religion deal with grief.
In Nature's Reach, Rich discusses how nature can help us heal.
Rich says, I believe that each and every one of us goes through life in a unique and special way.
Whether we realize it or not, we are shown messages and signs and given skills and gifts,
all of which help us through the good times and the bad.
Rich, thank you so much for being here today.
Thanks for having me.
I'm excited to be here, Lauren.
Thank you. I'm excited to talk all about your book, Nature's Reach.
And so you've wrote several books.
Have you always wanted to be an author or what inspired you to write?
No, I had no idea that I would be on this path.
So long story short is kind of sad.
Well, it is sad and devastating.
To be honest, I lost my dad to cancer in 2020.
He sent me a text message in February 2020.
2020.I live in North Carolina and my family's from Liverpool, England.
He sent me a text message and he said, hey, son, I've had a physical.
I have cancer.
You know, there's nothing they can do.
It's throughout my body and I'm going to die.
And it was devastating.
And he passed away in.
November that year, 2020,which was during COVID, made it even more difficult to get over there.
Anyway it was my wife Alison and anybody who's lost a loved one and gone through grief it's just so traumatic it really is and changes your life forever and you go through so many things physically and emotionally and going through seeing my mum and my sister being devastated by this and you know organizing the funeral the obituary all of those things anyway you don't realize but you're collecting things whether it be memories or physical things you know we went to church of course you pick up the pamphlet you're picking you get the condolences cards from family members you're collecting things and anyway when we got back to America it was my wife.
Alice and she said to me Rich you should write a book about this this whole experience of loss and grief I was like no my English is terrible I can't spell so thank God you know we have editor and spell check um anyway um so I started to doodle I'm always writing now making notes and before I knew it I had six or seven chapters written and I wrote my first book keep calm and cope with grief and it was all about going through the process of losing a loved one and it suddenly I was on that path at the time I was working for an insurance company I've always worked for big corporations but i left that in 2020and i started writing books and i'm currently working on book number five um but book number three the third book i write or wrote nature's reach um was again my books are all about my journey but i share my research but at the time I'm a writer in nature's reach.
It was how nature was helping me cope with my loss and grief of my dad.
And losing my dad in 2020,and then writing nature's reach, sadly, during that whole time too,
I lost my dog.
Alison lost her father and mother.
So I lost both my, you know, my mother and father father -in -laws so there was just a lot of grief in our house and I find myself surrounded by nature and it it was helping me tremendously and my book it's out on Amazon and I'm flattered by the the reviews and people write to me every day on Facebook about how much my my books are helping them and certainly with nature's reach we just don't think about it right.
Lauren I mean nature's all around us and most of us well I shouldn't say that for me personally because I can only speak for me I didn't really take much notice and suddenly when I lost my dad I was sitting outside in my backyard and nature was right there and without me even realizing it it was helping me i was like wow what it's such a powerful force in so many ways and there's so much in nature it to me it just seems endless right there's just so much out there on so many levels it's incredible absolutely incredible so now i had no idea i was going to be in it doesn't even sound like to say i'm an author because like like i said it's flattering to be.
Ooh, Richard's an author.
No, I don't, I don't know.
I mean, I'm on the fifth book.
So yes, I guess I could say I'm an author.
Yeah. And, you know, I think as a society in a whole, we don't like talking about death and grief and it's just like,
we gotta be busy and we always gotta do fun things right now.
We don't look at the uncomfortable side of life and your books are are so important.
I was myself when I was listening to your book, I was packing up and throwing away things to donate from a previous job that I had before 2020.
And I obviously I've been putting this off for years.
And I will say even just listening to nature's reach and picturing the different scenarios that you describe in the book,
helped me to cope with my own grief as I'm going through and kind of saying goodbye to that part of my life.
So it was definitely very helpful for me so it it is so important and your journey is definitely going to help other people do you being born in england and then living in the u .s do you see that there are different ways that each country deals with grief yes i mean my sister and i obviously we lost our dad and we're coping with grief in different ways i've i've learned so when i lost my dad it was my first time of experiencing grief I've been lucky I guess because I lost my grandparents when I was young so it really didn't affect me that much you know I'm 57now and but losing my dad just three years ago it was like boom here's this new emotion Rich here's grief this is what it feels like when your heart is destroyed and all you're left with is memories you know I used to receive text messages from my dad when Liverpool the soccer team would play soccer every week and my dad would send me text messages and i reply i don't get that anymore so now that that's gone it's just devastating but my sister and i i noticed yeah she's definitely coping with it differently to me and there's no right or wrong way to cope with grief you just have to find a way that fits for you it's so individual it's so unique to you you know nobody has walked in your shoes right you've lived your your life with that loved one and nobody else can say.
I know people say to you, oh, I know how you feel.
I know what you must be going through because I lost my dad.
Well, I appreciate that, but this was my dad.
You lost your dad.
I don't know really how you truly feel because it is so unique.
So you're absolutely right.
I've noticed it is different between England and America.
Care and even just from all the comments i've received and notes from people and from england and the us it is different and i can actually see that in the book sales you know i'm looking at my book sales and my different books i can see why is this one selling more in the uk than this than in the us and vice versa you know it's interesting yeah that is interesting and i do i love that part part in the book where you say that people will say all the time oh you know I know how you're feeling and when my son was born a few days later my husband was deployed and people are like oh I know how you must be feeling like really you've had an infant and your husband has been deployed I don't know that you know how I'm feeling so I thought that was very important because we are all on our own journey and feel things and things mean differently and you're right with the you are your own expert in dealing with your grief yeah and in your book right off the bat you boldly share your view on spirituality and thanking the lord for all the creatures and even down to the breath that we take i've had people come on my podcast before and before we'd record they'd ask for permission to share their gratitude for god and sadly that's what the world has become come right yeah was that a difficult decision for you to share your faith um it wasn't no because um if you look at my bio on the amazon page or if you go to my website um you'll see that i'm a catholic i was brought up with a lot of religion in my life you know i went to church every sunday with my mom and my sister i was an altar boy for several years i went to an all boys school school a catholic school in england and at the age of 16i went to a seminary school believing that i was going to become a priest so religion was huge i mean at my high school we had some of our teachers were priests so it was all around me religion was all around me obviously i'm not a priest and when i went to seminary school i realized that's not my path but it's always been in my life and it's very important to me and i wanted to share that in my books i didn't want to to hide it and but I do keep an open mind you know as I'm trying to write in my books you know as we just said everybody's individual you believe what you want to believe I'm not trying to say this is the way this is just my way and I'm sharing it with you you know um but having said that the feedback I get it's kind of sad and it's good I get a lot of love from the feedback but once in a while somebody will write to me about something I've said in my books and they'll say no.
You're wrong.
You know, that isn't the way it's supposed to be and blah, blah,
blah.
And it's like, I kind of, well, I don't like that.
Nobody's wrong. You know, you, you believe what you want to believe and I respect it.
And I, I love for that because it's good to have that conversation,
but please don't point fingers and judge people that way.
You know, it's just not nice to me anyway.
You know, we should all be happy with one another's differences, you know?
Absolutely can i can i share this one thing i'm sorry lauren it's it's kind of cute because talking about religion and saying you know going to church which i think is a wonderful thing and i used to go several times a week and i'll be honest i hardly ever go to church now i might go every christmas but i was watching a tv show on netflix and it's called the last kingdom and there's a character in it called utrid utrid ragnarsson anyway it's roughly based on a true true story.
It's set in England.
And there's a quote from what he says.
I love this quote.
He says, God created everything that surrounds me, the fields, the rivers, the forests,
the land is my church.
And I pray each day, Lord, in silence.
And that's how I feel now with nature.
You know, the fields, the rivers, the forests all around me here, that is my church.
God created everything around me and that's where I pray I don't need to go to a man -made building called the church and pray there I can and that's great for people but you can pray anywhere I can sit outside in my backyard surrounded by nature and to me that's my church you know yeah I mean it's hard to look outside and see all the beauty and the organization and how many different varieties of species there are and think there isn't a creator like there has to be some sort of creator and i i do believe in god so yes yeah that's beautiful now you did have a section in your book where you have a list of questions that people should think about before getting an animal to help with with grief and i thought that was brilliant because a lot of people people I think didn't think a few months ahead when they were getting pets or chickens during.
COVID. And a lot of people that are like, Oh man, I wish I didn't get chickens.
Cause now.
COVID's over. I got these chickens and I'm back at work.
Uh, and animals have feelings too.
Um, and that needs to be considered.
So that was great that you thought of that, that angle too.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like you say, I lost my dog two years ago and he was 15years old.
He was my a best friend you know um i met my wife nine years ago so she met my dog his name was amadeus and she fell in love with him straight away he was a chihuahua mix such a cute adoring dog and he took to allison straight away so they were best friends too and and we took him to the beach with us he went everywhere with us you know and they are great companions for us but we just have to to be careful that when we lose somebody that we love and we want to pet for comfort that we think of the long term you know can we care for that dog because it does become part of your family so it's so important yeah.
What is i'm sure there are different ways do you have a couple methods and tools that you keep in your back pocket to help you deal with grief so i'm very lucky i actually where i live i live on a lake it's we've got my wife and i got so lucky when we met each other we wanted to live together of course and we're married now and we found this small piece of land on a lake where we live and when i go out into the backyard yard yeah it's right there I'm looking at this lake and that that's that's I say it's in my pocket it's actually in my face I mean it's right there I look out the window boom it's there and I am so lucky for that so grateful my wife and I were like we'll never leave this place it's our sanctuary so I opened the back door go sit outside on my deck and just sit there and it's funny Lauren only a few days ago my wife and I was sitting there and she said why don't we get a big television and put it on the back of the house so we can watch tv shows like friends and things like this and I was like yeah yeah and then we said but why if we're looking at the back of the house and we're watching a tv then behind us is the lake and that's that's nature right we want to turn around we want to face the lake so we said yeah so we're not going to put a television outside on the back of the house now which is great because when we look at the lake there's so many characters and we've made so many friends we have a deer that walk through the backyard we.
We have possums, raccoons, bald eagles that fly over.
I saw five the other day, five bald eagles all at the same time.
We have all these ducks, geese, I mean, birds everywhere, squirrels everywhere, flying squirrels.
We see them in our trees, just nature all around us.
So I sit outside.
That's my number one for relaxing is to sit outside on the back deck.
And like i said these these animals some of them have become close friends i have a idea that i've named samantha or sammy and she'll come up to me and i feed her by hand so i put corn in my hand and i put it out and i think well actually my book nature's reach there's a photograph let's see page 42of me feeding samantha by hand and i can stroke her you know with my it's just just crazy and and we have ducks there's this huge duck I think he's a mallard type of duck but he's twice the size of all the other mallards so I'm not quite sure what type of duck I know he's a mallard because he has the same colors anyway I've called him Goliath because he's so big and when I see him down on the lake we live up high on a kind of a hill so we look down at the the lake and I'll make this noise like this and he looks up and he sees me and he runs up the hill and I can feed him by hand and I can stroke him so he's like a friend so I love my dog and I think about him every day but I'm not ready to get another dog and I don't need to because I have ducks and deer these are my pets now you know so I'd love to sit outside and be surrounded by nature like this it's i'm i'm truly lucky for what we have yeah that sounds beautiful in in the book you do talk about some natural cures for diseases can you give any examples of how nature heals us that you came across in your research yeah so i made some notes i'm always making notes um so we know that well nature is all around us it doesn't matter if you're in the city right you can look out your window and see the sky to me that's nature too the weather and has an effect on me too and there's something called sad sad right the seasonal affective disorder i had no idea what sad sad was this seasonal affective disorder and basically it's it obviously it's a seasonal effect on you and during fall or winter we kind of feel tired lazy lethargic you know we want to lie on the sofa with a blanket and that's all nice but it kind of brings us down just a little bit generally speaking right and during spring and summer we feel much happier we want to be outside we want to exercise we're doing yard work we've got more energy and we're vitalized and it to me it's true you know that affects me in those ways but there's a lot of things that you can do during winter to try and help you break that bond of feeling lethargic and lazy just a simple exercise you don't have to go to the gym or work out at the house but just go for a walk go again this lake here you can walk around the lake it's a two mile walk so I'm very lucky we my wife and I we do it quite often but you can just go to a local park walk to your local grocery store if it's near enough and it's safe to do so right but there's lots of things you can do there even the way you eat the food you eat nutritional food my wife this morning told me i was having pancakes for breakfast and she's like richard really carbs with syrup all that sugar you know and i'm like leave me alone i like it but she put next to me you know a bowl of blueberries because the antioxidants and you know how much better and strawberries how much healthier they they are for you so you can also look at your diet and but also listening to classical music i think it was on the dr oz show he mentioned that listening to 20minutes a day of classical music has a calming effect and reduces the cortisol in your body now cortisol is a good hormone that's produced by your kidneys it helps reduce your blood pressure your heart rate and it also helps your sleep cycles it does so many things but if you had too much cortisol in your body it's not good for you so it's you need to control that and you can do that by your diet by your exercise so it's important to do those things too so there is a lot of things that you can physically do to help you stay calm and relaxed um but again my number one thing i'm going to eat my pancakes cakes but i am going to sit outside this afternoon and enjoy the peaceful view that i have of nature you know because that really does reduce my you know my heart rate and my blood pressure i you know i feel super calm and relaxed other than your back view which sounds amazing do you have another place or a favorite thing that you like to do in nature when you're grieving or even when you're not grieving um so i've mentioned you know if you're near water or the mountains or the beach has a calming effect on you right um but i found churches or it sounds kind of morbid but graveyards and in england there's there's old churches everywhere um graveyards everywhere um and i've i've been brought up you know for 30some years and that was always a part of my life now where i am now not so much it's a little different but i found that when i find a church it has a calming effect on me and again you don't have to go to church when the mass grass is being.
You know, serviced or whatever.
You can go when it's quiet and it's empty, just sit in one of the pews.
I just find that sitting in a church, walking around the church is very calming to me.
I like to listen to church music, if you can call it that,
like Gregorian chant music, like basically church choir.
So the singing in Latin, and it's just very relaxing to me um so I like to to do that too um being in any quiet place to be honest with you whether it be a library that's another calming place for me I like to browse through the books obviously now that I'm an author I've taken more of an interest in books so sitting in my local library and going through the books reading making notes doing some research search again is a calming thing for me um but to people out there who maybe have lost a loved one or just are looking for something that's calming i mean you could go to let's say you used to go with your mom or your dad or a relative and you used to walk the dog through a certain park and sit on a certain bench somewhere you can still do that now even though that you've lost your loved one do that act go to that park go to that certain place maybe you went fishing with your dad but but you've lost your dad.
Go fishing. It might be painful, but you'll feel that connection with your loved one,
with your dad who's crossed over.
And I don't think we should shy away from those physical activities now that we've lost those loved ones.
I think we should still do those.
I mean, I still send my dad a birthday card.
Even though I lost him three years ago, I still put it in the mailbox.
I send it over to my mum.
She opens the envelope and she puts it on the mantelpiece in the living room it's still my dad's birthday even though he's passed over i still respect love him think about him daily and it's still his birthday so i still send him a birthday card even the wedding anniversary it's to mum and dad you know i still do those things but um but there's so many things out there that we can do involving nature and it doesn't cost us anything.
It can be free.
You don't have to climb a big mountain and go on this expedition and it costs a lot of money to be surrounded by nature.
It's actually around us and it's free.
That's the best part.
My grandfather passed away many, many years ago and he lived in Florida and he would feed the birds all the time.
He had tons of bird feeders in the back.
So I do that at my house and.
And that's kind of a way for me to connect with my grandfather and we'll still go visit that house.
My uncle owns it.
He doesn't live there full time, but we'll, we'll visit the outside of the house and just kind of reminisce about those memories.
And that's hard for my mom to do.
But I wish she kind of would.
And the last time I brought my son there, his favorite animal on the planet are turtles.
And when we went to visit, we saw a gopher tortoise and it was kind of like they,
they.
They sent him a turtle to look at.
Yeah, a sign.
Yeah.
Yes, yeah.
That's so cool, isn't it?
How God or our creator or how life turns out that way.
And you can think, I keep an open mind, Lauren.
You know, it's like, I still get signs from my dad.
I talk about this in all my books.
And, you know, I look at things logically.
I always associate, my dad loves Star Trek.
And we used to joke about my dad and say he was Spock he was the character Spock in Star Trek because my dad was so logical and I guess that rubbed off on me so when anything like this happens when there's a sign from my dad I always think about it logically and try and be a detective and think okay is it a coincidence you know could it be this could it be that but once I eliminate eliminate all of the factors then I'm left with like the unquestionable oh this has to be my dad there's just no way this has to have been my dad and I have so many instances where that's happened where I have no doubt my dad has sent me this particular message you know I could talk to you for hours about those I mean it's just it just blows my mind so I do believe in the afterlife life i do believe in life after this i believe this life we have is just temporary i think i don't think i believe and it's our own personal belief that the next is eternal when we cross over and that we will be reunited with our loved ones and however living here now without my dad is painful right when we lose a loved one it is painful because we love them so much it's a a testament to how much we loved those people and that's why we heard so much um but life goes on clock keeps ticking so we just have to find something that works for us and what's working for me is nature i mean i know you can see a therapist a psychiatrist you can have medication you can join a grief group on facebook and they can all work you know or it could be a mix of things that work for you but for me nature don't dismiss nature it's so so powerful i would i would advise anybody to just go out there just sit on a bench in your backyard even just look out the window quietly with a nice cup of tea or cup of coffee you know and it really is um a wonderful thing i've always believed a lot in that whatever illness whatever disease whatever problem physically or mentally that we have there's a natural cure for it on earth I'm sure there's a natural cure for cancer diabetes for depression for grief I think there's a natural cure for everything that's on this planet we just have to find it you know and I think for grief nature is a cure yeah I think God's provided us with the resources and everything that we need and.
And we don't need to rely on companies that just want a little bit of a different type of green.
I think nature is definitely more healing than than anything.
Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.
Rich, what is your favorite memory outdoors?
Favorite memory outdoors.
I'll tell you that this this quick story real quick.
Um so when my dad told me he had cancer in february 2020and he sent me that text message allison and i jumped on the first flight over to england which was just before covid hit we did see people wearing masks and we thought that's strange anyway we got to england and it was the first week in march and we saw my dad it was so emotional i was hugging him we were crying we were talking and Alice and I stepped outside of their house to get some fresh air and it was raining but the sun was out and we saw this double rainbow and we were like wow and then.
Alison said to me maybe it's a sign maybe it's a sign that your dad's gonna survive he'll be cured of cancer and I said I hope so so we left after our visit we came back to America of course my my dad didn't survive he passed away in November 2020well two years ago so this would have been I guess November 2023okay so one and a half years ago or something it was my dad's birthday so I'm here in the United States and like I just mentioned before I always send my dad a birthday card so I wrote up the card I signed it Alison signed it we put it in the envelope and there was a really bad storm that came through you know those storms that come and go in 20minutes it was a black sky thunder lightning rain you know the trees were going crazy and then within 20minutes it was gone and the sun had come out so I said to Alison I'm going to go down to the mailbox and put the birthday card in the mailbox so I go outside and sure you know if the sun was out but it was still raining a little bit and right at the side of our house was a rainbow and it went from our shed to our house it was maybe 50feet long brightest colors I've ever seen and I was standing right underneath this miniature rainbow now I've seen rainbows in the sky but never one like just above my head so I started crying I went inside I told Alison she came outside we took video we took photographs and there's a picture in my nature's reach book near the back I think of the rainbow we couldn't believe it and Alison said is this a sign from your dad he sent you a rainbow and I said maybe it is because you know we were there we saw that double rainbow and I'm sending him a card I put the card in the mailbox and all of a sudden here's a rainbow so that is just one of the things in nature a sign from my dad maybe it was you know it's one of those could it have been a coincidence yeah but could it be a sign from my dad because I just literally put a birthday card in the mailbox and I turned around and there's a rainbow I've never seen one so small Lauren I mean normally they're high in the sky but this was like I could nearly reach up and touch it it was bizarre like just for you yeah yeah it was crazy I 100believe that it was a sign from your dad because my grandma gave my mom a double rainbow.
So we dropped, my son was six days old.
We dropped my husband off at the airport and he was going back to be deployed,
going to Kuwait.
And my mom was staying at my house with me to help me take care of the baby.
And she got a call that her mom was dying.
And I just all of a sudden got this feeling like my grandfather was happy that my grandma was with him again.
And my mom came inside and she's like, grandma passed away.
I was like, I know.
And at that same time, we get a call that the, uh, flight was delayed.
So I was able to go pick up my husband and he was able to come home with me.
And I told my mom, you need to go be with dad, go spend time with your husband so she went home about 20minutes away that next morning we're laying I was on the couch because I couldn't walk up the stairs I had a c -section and the room was glowing so bright orange and I look outside and it's this huge double rainbow and my mom sends me a picture she's like look at this my mom sent me the sign I told her I always wanted a sign she sent me this like I know I'm looking at it right now like I've never seen you know people 20minutes away from each other seeing the same rainbow and i was like that is grandma so i i believe that your dad did send you that wow that's incredible yeah i mean you have to look at these things with an open mind and think yeah it could be this it could be that but some of them you just think yeah that's a sign right there incredible wow sorry i just i got chills okay yeah we're almost there i know um.
Um, so where can people find you?
Um, well, I use my dad's name as my author name for the love and respect.
So my author name is John Allen.
My full name is Richard John Allen.
And so I use John Allen as my author name.
So if you go on Amazon and look me up, um, but you can find me at richardjohnallen .com.
That's my website.
It's just my name.
And then .com richardjohnallen .com.
And I will be sure to tag that in the show notes.
So people can, right after listening, they can go over to your website and grab one of your books or all your books because it is such an important topic.
And it was very healing for me when I was reading Nature's Reach.
So I hope the same for other people too.
Thank you.
Thanks.
And before we go, what is one tip that you have for someone that would like to connect with nature?
Spend two minutes and just look outside the window.
You don't have to go outside.
You don't have to make a big big effort right just look outside the window and look for nature it's right there whether you're looking at the clouds pass by in the sky whether you see a bird in a tree um but if you can get outside just just make that effort and sit quietly and i would also suggest don't turn off your cell phone but maybe put it on silent so you're not interrupted because i know we like to go outside and one of the things we'll do is we'll whip out the cell phone don't just just give nature a chance and it'll help you i promise thank you so much and until next time get outside and see what develops thanks for joining wild development studio we hope this exploration into the world of wildlife arts and adventure has sparked a desire to get outside and connect with something wild if you have an adventure that's awe -inspiring.
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