Embracing Neurodiversity in Nutrition and Navigating Heartbreak with Dietitian, Juliana Coughlin

When Juliana Coughlin, a registered dietitian with a focus on neurodiversity, found herself at a career crossroads due to dyslexia, she turned it into an opportunity to shine a light on the unique dietary challenges faced by neurodivergent individuals. Join us as Juliana intimately shares her personal and professional journey, tackling topics from the emotional aspects of our food choices to the nuanced needs of those whose brains are beautifully wired differently. Her story is one of resilience and innovation, reminding us that being unapologetically 'you' can lead to unexpected yet fulfilling paths.

As we peel back the layers of our relationship with food, we also wade into the emotional currents of dating in a digital age and the surprising comfort found during breakups. Juliana and I swap stories of finding joy in cooking, the solace of pets during times of isolation, and the quirky realities of modern love. Whether you're navigating the choppy waters of post-breakup life or seeking connection amid the buzz of online profiles, this episode serves up a hearty portion of insights and laughter for your soul.

Rounding off the episode, we step into the world of astrological signs and the performance art of living. From Little Mermaid drag brunches to the complex tapestry of Gemini traits, we explore how our star signs might just influence our approach to life. And for those seeking more nuggets of wisdom, a reminder to follow us on Instagram at @neurord, where Juliana continues to share invaluable tips for the neurodivergent community.

Connect with Juliana:
All of her links in one!: https://linktr.ee/jellyanna

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Did I give it away or was it a persuasion? You all in my space, I, I owe it. I don't care what you say. I'm loving it this way. I'm hoping that you stay. I, I owe it. It's only you. Was it a persuasion? Don't believe me, it's only you. I love what you say. I'm loving host Rachel Rose. We have a lovely, lovely, lovely American with us all the way from Massachusetts, now one of my favorite states, just because the name is so cool. We have Juliana Coughlin, who is a registered dietitian. She helps neurodivergent people, and what we're going to be talking about today is being a little more you every single day, which I think is a perfect topic as we approach what's going to be a really important time of the year astrologically, so welcome.

Speaker 2: 1:16

Juliana. Oh well, thank you for having me. I'm very excited to be here. What is the time of year astrologically that we're approaching right now? I didn't know about this.

Speaker 1: 1:24

Well, this year in general has a really potent energy, so it's all about us building towards what it is that we want to do. This is not the final countdown year.

Speaker 2: 1:33

Yeah, okay. So that's. That's pretty relevant to me as a human being. So that's definitely along with like being a little bit me, more me every day. I there's been a pretty big overhaul in what I've been doing recently, nice.

Speaker 1: 1:48

So business or like personal life?

Speaker 2: 1:58

Um, both, but mostly like, kind of like the work side of things. Um, I was more more or less fired from my job, like two months ago. Um, for dyslexia, have dyslexia for dyslexia related reasons. I'm currently working with the ada, the american disabilities um association, to see if there's any action that we can take on that. But that's kind of a side that should be.

Speaker 2: 2:16

Yeah it, it's been a wild ride. But we'll just say it's been a very wild ride. But in that process I've been able to start my own business, which is what we'll be talking about partially, and that's my dietitian counseling service and my outpatient clinic, which is really exciting, so good so talk to us about that because, like I said, I have so many different entrepreneurs on the show.

Speaker 1: 2:38

I don't think I've had a dietitian for sure. Maybe maybe a nutritionist or or someone who's fitness but never a dietitian, so not a registered dietitian for sure. Maybe, maybe a nutritionist or or someone who's fitness but never a dietitian, so not a registered dietitian with their own practice.

Speaker 2: 2:49

So please tell us all about it and why specifically neurodivergent people yeah, so right now it is a virtual dietitian practice, so like I'm seeing people virtually, but but that means I can see people from all over the world, over the country which country, which is really great. I just had someone actually from the UK that I worked with the other day, so it was very exciting and essentially what I'm doing is doing one-on-one counseling.

Speaker 2: 3:19

I also have some people in the town that I live in that are have learning disabilities that I'm doing like one-on-one like shopping trips and meal planning and stuff with them and just helping them transition, because we have a school for neurodiverse kids essentially here on Cape Cod and which is really awesome and it's a really cool school. But the people that I'm helping are kind of transitioning from being at that school to like being like functioning adults in real life, which can definitely be a challenge if you have some kind of challenge with the way that your brain processes the world. And so just working with people in town doing that as well too. But yeah, so I do work more or less. I prefer to work with some neurodiverse people, I will work with everyone, but I feel like having a focus on that is something that has gone largely untouched by the nutrition world and like how we think really affects how we eat in a lot of ways. Yes, especially since a lot of neurodiverse people, we kind of are and I speak for this as someone who has ADHD we're kind of focused around like certain types of stimulus and like you know how you have like like fidget toys, like they call that stimming. When you're like playing with fidget toys cause you're like stimulating certain senses that you want.

Speaker 2: 4:43

So a lot of the times, like people who are neurodiverse and people who aren't will eat certain foods because of a feeling like they want something hot or they want something cold and they can't like get the right, um amount of stimulation from certain things and so they'll go seeking and, uh, sometimes that can lead to bad things or good things or um, but that's just essentially because people like, when you do something that you like, you get a little bit of like a, this chemical called dopamine that goes to your brain. And people who are neurodiverse for the most part have a um, a lack of dopamine in their brain. So usually you're like everyone's basic dopamine levels. Like here, people who are neurodiverse, their dopamine level kind of sits up here. So we're always kind of looking for that stimulation to get our dopamine levels up to where everyone else's are.

Speaker 2: 5:28

So like, if you have, if you're like, oh, I want something crunchy, like your dopamine levels are kind of like at a good spot. So you're not like really like overly, like obsessing over it, but if I'm like, oh, I want something crunchy, like I got to freaking find something crunchy because, like you better bet you bought that. I need to, like, go crunch on something hard right now because, like that's what my, my, I, like my brain wants. Is that like format of simulation? Um and so it's definitely something that plays a lot into how people eat and definitely largely untouched again by the nutrition community and a uh, a group that I personally identify with and know how hard it is to get any kind of treatment in this category.

Speaker 1: 6:11

So, yeah, you taught me so much in like such little time. I think it's really, really interesting because automatically I was thinking, okay, that must lead on to binge eating quite a lot.

Speaker 2: 6:21

Yeah, it's extremely common to have binge eating people because a lot of things too. It's extremely common to have binge eating people because a lot of things too. Especially with ADHD and ADD. You'll forget to eat all day. You'll get so interested in something else that you're doing, so focused in on something else that you forget to eat and at the end of the day you're like, oh my gosh, I am starving and I want to find I just had that brush of dopamine for whatever other thing I was doing and now I need to, like, keep that level up. So I need cake or I need cookies or I need something crunchy or I need something sweet, like you. Just your brain can't find exactly what it wants and sometimes that leads to a lot of overeating, which is extremely common in this, uh, in this group of people.

Speaker 1: 7:04

And so how do you, how do you work with these people as well? Like you know, how does the conversation start, how does it flow? And, because it must be a touchy subject, You're trying to even though you identify with this group, you're trying to basically redirect their neural pathways by saying, okay, actually, you know, trying to snap out of a habit and their way of being. How do you do that in a way that's like delicate and helpful? And yeah, I think that's really fascinating. Please tell me.

Speaker 2: 7:35

Yeah, so I.

Speaker 2: 7:37

One of the things that I like to do with people is and that's really important, especially for neurodiverse people is habits. Habits are something that can really be your best friend, because it's a way to like automate things that happen in your life, and if you can automate them to be things that are helping you reach the goals that you're looking for, it can really really be extremely helpful. One of the things that I love to do and it's kind of I have little sayings I'm going to call them like Juliana isms that I say just things that I love to do, and it's kind of I have little sayings I'm going to call them like Juliana isms that I say just things that I say over and over again, that really I'm probably the only person who puts these words in this order ever, because my brain works in a different way than most people's brains. But what thing I'd like to do with people is what I call resetting your default settings, and what that means is going into, like your brain bank and looking through your day and seeing, like one, what is the goal we want to achieve? Say, like you want to lose some weight. Let's say, we're going to lose some weight.

Speaker 2: 8:33

Okay, great, we'll start there, going through your day and seeing like, okay, what are the things that I do every day, like typically, that are affecting my goal in any capacity? Like am I not eating? Am I eating? Am I drinking like five Cokes every day? Because a lot of times you'll look back and you'll see that like, oh, I drink a Coke every day with lunch and I like just like wasn't even thinking about that and I'm frustrated because I can't lose weight.

Speaker 2: 8:58

It's like, okay, so let's look at that one thing specifically. We'll take like one or two habits and like target them specifically, ones that are not helping you reach the goal, and try and reset them to something that will help you reach your goal. So like, okay, the first day I'm going to try and do half Coke, half diet Coke, and then like slowly, just kind of like making it to the point where you're like, okay, I have like a nice seltzer water with my lunch instead of the coke, so I'm like saving like 200 calories, and then, wow, I'm like able to maybe work towards losing a little bit of weight in that one the way. But then, when you get to that point, you've reset that default setting and so you don't even have to think about picking up the seltzer versus the coke. You just go for the seltzer, because we've reset that over time gradually.

Speaker 1: 9:41

Right, right, nice so, okay, yeah, I like that because it doesn't sound as intrusive, because I could imagine that would be so, you know, dysregulating, if you had someone who was like, all right, let's take. You know, take it away immediately.

Speaker 2: 9:56

You know it's got to be something gradual yeah, and I I know, as someone who has adhd, like how off-putting it can be for someone to just like come in and be like you need to change everything, or like even any person who comes in and has that said to them like it's just wild. And there are a lot of dietitians out there, um, and I kind of made this promise to myself when I became a dietitian is that I don't want to be the dietitian that people don't want to come back and see because they just got yelled at to do a million things. Got yelled at to do a million things and, uh, dietitians have a long-standing history of kind of being bitches, um, to put it nicely. Um, so I don't want to be that bitch if I don't have to be, and I want people to come away from seeing me and be like okay, like I learned something and like I feel motivated to change, but like I actually also want to go back and see Juliet again.

Speaker 2: 10:47

Like that was I. I'm the queen of a dumb joke. I love making like a stupid pun. So like I like to make sure, like even if we're learning something and I'm telling you something serious, like I want to like make you also realize that nutrition isn't like, it's not like a live for most people. And this is take this with a grain of salt, because for some people it is a lot more severe, but for most people it's not like a like live or die situation. If you eat the cookie right now, you're not going to pass away in a minute Like it's really, unless you're allergic to things that are in it. It's more the whole learning process of everything that is like like live or die, more or less like compared to medications, like you take some medications, like it could be some pretty severe side effects. Again you eat an extra cookie.

Speaker 1: 11:31

Yeah, literally no one will know except you like nothing, nothing really is going to happen yeah, so I love that because the gray in a society with demonizing of certain foods, is just so normal. Um, yeah, it's, it's. You know, how do you feel about? There are some, uh, fitness coaches out there, particularly on social media, that, um, some that are better than others, but there are some that are, like you know, kind of either indirectly or directly demonize certain foods. Um, yeah, so how? Yeah?

Speaker 2: 12:01

how do that? Yeah, so what I like always like to say is that food kind of lies on a spectrum and what and what that spectrum is depends on who you are and, like, my favorite example to use is Coke. Just because, like, if you're someone who's like a severe diabetic, like your blood sugars are really really sensitive to what you eat, if you drink a Coke you could potentially land in the hospital and so that's like very, very bad on our spectrum of foods. But if you're a marathon runner and you're a mile 20 of a marathon, there is nothing better than having a flat Coke at like mile 20 of a marathon, cause you get sugar, you get caffeine, it's easy to digest, it like goes right into your system, you can use it immediately. That is like way on the good side of like a marathon runner immediately. That is like way on the good side of like a marathon runner. So, like any, like any food that we think about can be anywhere on that spectrum, just depending on who you are as a human being and everyone's spectrum is different and that like that's kind of like I.

Speaker 2: 12:57

There are some decent like nutrition influencers out there.

Speaker 2: 13:02

Um, the ones I kind of gravitate towards are the ones who are dietitians, because I'd say, like, the biggest difference between someone who's like a registered dietitian, who's gone through like I have a master's degree and most of us do um, you need at least a bachelor's degree and you have to do 1200 internship hours to also qualify to take an exam and they have to pass the exam. So it's not like there are a lot of hoops that they make you jump through and a lot of things that you have to learn. But, like, the biggest difference between, like someone who just calls herself a nutritionist and like a dietitian, I find, is that dietitians, if you ask them to make you a diet or like tell you what diet to eat, they're probably going to say we need to talk first and then I can create like an individualized plan for you. As opposed to being like, well, you should just be on keto, everyone should all just be keto. It's like no, no. Also fun fact the ketogenic diet was actually invented to help cure small children of seizures.

Speaker 1: 13:57

Oh my God, and here people are, you know, using it for the wrong. I personally hate keto. It made me feel very sick.

Speaker 2: 14:05

Yeah, it's kind of I. I I'm a vegetarian, so and I I only gave up meat because it was making me feel like gross, like not like mentally, but just like my body was like no, thank you.

Speaker 2: 14:16

So I was like, okay, like, maybe we would just try it. And I was like, okay, this feels better it. And I was like, okay, this feels better for me. Yeah, um, and it's a different choice for everyone. Again, like everyone's food spectrum is different, my body was just like no, thanks. I was like, okay, cool, we'll eat plants. Um, but like it, just, it's one of those things, too where, if you actually like break down the ketogenic diet, like it's very high in saturated fats, and saturated fats are those ones that like can cause heart attacks. Like, if you eat too many of them, too much of that, like you can literally like clog your whole arteries till you, you like have a heart attack, and it's weird and kind of not funny. But like I guess kind of funny. But like we've seen, like people who do those kinds of diets, like an increase in the amount of heart attacks that they're having it. So it's like, okay, like it might be helping you lose weight and like, maybe be more muscular, but like, let's, we got to think about everything.

Speaker 2: 15:06

On the whole, it's not just like one or two, like individualized, like little things that are separate, like the way that your heart operates and your muscles operate affects you as a human being, not just looking like cut and fit.

Speaker 1: 15:20

You know it's crazy like it's just crazy where I think certain people's priorities are. Obviously it comes from a wound um yeah but it's I. I remember, um, you know, learning. I think I don't know if it came about during COVID or not the keto diet, I don't know, but I know that's when I got exposed to it and I did want to lose weight because I baked banana breads every day during COVID, um that's dangerous.

Speaker 2: 15:47

Banana bread is like one of the most underrated desserts out there.

Speaker 1: 15:50

I would say oh my god, it's so good, honestly, I would be bathed and buried in that. Like that is, that's a holy grail. And then if you put like um, what, what? Um, you guys call it frosting, we call it icing, I think we used. I think we did use cream cheese in the end. It was delicious and we had we had that like all the time, because why not? And we, oh my god, and we're drinking the wine and the happy the world's ending.

Speaker 2: 16:18

And then I didn't recognize myself and you don't feel good, you know, like and yeah, yeah, and that's something that, like I, I think one of the things that you're kind of like hinting towards, that I always like to say it's like food is emotional food has a lot of feeling behind it and, whether you realize it or not, like you.

Speaker 2: 16:35

A lot of feeling and thought and like how your emotions play out goes into how you eat. Yeah, like you. Yeah, like you're feeling. Like you're feeling like you're not yourself. Or even I like to use the example of like your grandmother is telling you she wants you to eat more and you feel ashamed that you didn't take it like a fourth serving of her pasta casserole whatever the heck it is.

Speaker 2: 16:55

So it's like is the world really going to end if we don't eat more of that? No, is your grandmother going to understand if we don't eat more of that? No, is your grandmother gonna understand if you say no to like helping number four? Hopefully, I mean she's a human being. But yeah, a lot of things are so emotionally charged and like, a lot of the time with eating disorders, it's not like the food. That's the problem. It's that someone is looking for control in their life for some other issue and this is the only place where they feel like they can execute control on their own choices, and that's huge. Most of the time, that's usually the issue, um, and so you have to kind of like okay, be like, let's address the food, but then like, let's also go to like the mental health people, because that's the biggest issue here, not the food itself.

Speaker 1: 17:41

Yeah, ooh, wow. No, that's a really interesting one to unwrap. I wonder I might weave it in, depending on where we go with this next side of our show. It may be weaved in because, yeah, I won't spoil it, just in case, and I won't say it because it would be very out of place if I talk about everything. Okay, but thank you for that that. I think that is that's something that a lot of our listeners are really gonna take home and and think about. You know that connection, yeah, um. So, as I did warn you, the part b of this show is all about your love life. So, like I love what you do, I love your mission. But what does a woman like you do when she's not saving people through her special gift, through being a dietitian?

Speaker 1: 18:25

I don't think I'm saving people but you know you are, you know, you are, you are, you are, you know food, as you said, food is so important and every single thing we put into us affects our energy, our soul, on every every level, um, but then? But who's loving you? You know who is loving Juliana. Tell us all about your dating life at the moment.

Speaker 2: 18:45

Yeah, pretty much non-existent at this point. It's like I, I, my last ex-boyfriend, steve, we don't like Steve.

Speaker 1: 18:54

Okay, we don't like him.

Speaker 2: 18:56

He broke up with me right before COVID hit essentially Um, and the process of him breaking up with me was like I kind of saw it coming and he broke up with me. I cried for like a day and then I woke up the next day. I was like, wow, I feel so much better now, I feel so much lighter and like there's not a huge like rock on my soul, essentially Cause looking back like I think I saw joy in his eyes like twice the whole year that we dated. Uh, because he just like literally had like bad depression and yeah and didn't want to acknowledge it, didn't want to get it treated, and I was about to ask was he getting treated from it?

Speaker 2: 19:31

but no, yeah, he, he went to, because I convinced him. He went to two therapy sessions and he came back to me. He's like I don't understand why they're asking me about my childhood. I want to talk about what's happening now. I was, like my dude, like that's the like. One of the things I always say, too, is like your childhood is what fucks you up. Yeah, like I was like that's what they're supposed to be doing, steve, like they're supposed to be asking you about your childhood because those are the, those are the traumas that you carry into your everyday life that, yeah, lead you to where you are right here.

Speaker 1: 19:59

My dude, like exactly exactly, and so he didn't want to face that. Did you know much about?

Speaker 2: 20:06

his childhood. Um, I don't really know. It doesn't seem like he like had a super, like sad or like like abusive or anything. I met his family and I really loved his family.

Speaker 1: 20:17

They were honestly, they were the best part of the relationship um, that's always sad when that happens because, like, when are we going to see them again?

Speaker 2: 20:25

I know his cousin, luke, was great. I have to reconnect with luke at some point because, like I loved him, he was great, uh. But yeah, I think I think he just was had one of those brains that was just like chemically predisposed to depression. That's more or less what it seemed like to me because there wasn't like anything outrightly happening, but he just he just had that like feeling.

Speaker 2: 20:45

You know those people who just like they, no matter what they do, they just need like some kind of medication because their brain chemicals are off, so sad yeah yeah, I mean, it was good for me for him to leave, because after that I was a lot happier yeah, and and how did you deal with that before COVID?

Speaker 1: 21:02

Because I know COVID gave us a lot of time to think and a lot of time for us to be in our feelings. So I know, you know this particular scenario is a little bit different because it wasn't necessarily like a happy relationship. But what was it like? Grieving the relationship or being alone during COVID?

Speaker 2: 21:24

the relationship or being alone during COVID. Yeah, it was kind of odd, just because I went from like being with him and then also like obviously being around friends and then I was. I was pretty isolated for the most part during COVID, except for when I was at work I did see I. So I was working in a nursing home at the time and we had a lot of COVID cases. So literally I would go to work and come home and like I don't live with anyone's and no one wanted to interact with me and I don't blame them, cause like we had so much COVID going around the nursing home that like I was like very much.

Speaker 2: 21:53

So just like I had two zones that I lived in. Once a week I would go to the grocery store and like wait in the line and it was just kind of like no one wants to touch Juliana, no one wants to come near her, like regardless of anything, just because she's in healthcare right now and there's so much COVID going around. So I was like very, very isolated. I will say the one thing that kind of kept me like the most sane, which is sad and happy at the same time, but I my right after Steve broke up with me. My dog Elaine passed away from cancer and, like literally right before COVID happened, I adopted a new dog named Myrtle, who was in the other room over there.

Speaker 2: 22:34

Yeah the murmur, but she's a little pit bull, she's real cute yeah, and she's my, my, my buddy and she like having her because I adopted her like literally like two weeks before the covid like luckily, yeah, fully like came in, which is like really good timing, because the agency that I got her from they foster their dogs out to homes, so they kind of had to take a pretty big pause on like getting dogs and like fostering them and stuff, because no one could go to people's homes and just like see these dogs anymore really. And so I got her like right before that and just having like a dog that I was just getting used to being around and like new definitely was kind of a saving grace for me in a time where, like, I was definitely living in a weird bubble for me in a time where, like, I was definitely living in a weird bubble yeah, it was I just it's crazy, cause what we are almost four years.

Speaker 1: 23:29

No, no, no, it's not almost four years on, really, to be honest, cause it was kind of into 2021, isn't it?

Speaker 2: 23:32

Yeah, it was. For us here in the United States, specifically in Massachusetts. I actually have, like you know, those journals that are like a one line a day journal. I have that and I wrote like when the mask ban started, so it was in 2020. Because I remember, because that's the year I got COVID the first time too, yes, and that was before any boosters, before any more. Like masks were like a good thing. And it hit me like I was out for like a week and a half, like I could barely even like get off the couch.

Speaker 1: 24:04

I was like, oh, my god, some of us were like we felt like we had it.

Speaker 1: 24:08

November 2019 there was a really weird like lingering. Everyone was a bit sniffling coffee on the trains, yeah, and it was just like recurring, like it'd go and and then come back, and then I don't feel like we really truly reset here until like summer of 2021, I think. That's when it was like, okay, like no more rules for travel and all that jazz, so like a year and a half. So I guess we're like, oh God, now this is where the matter.

Speaker 2: 24:40

Okay, so yeah, we're about a year and a half post proper out of COVID, I'd say here in the United States, because I feel like our COVID controlling has been a little bit off just because we had the big orange man for a little while. What are you talking about?

Speaker 2: 24:56

Yeah, big old orange, chicken nugget looking guy, that guy Our COVID numbers were like definitely higher than a lot of other places in the world. So I'd say like 20 end of 2021, beginning of 2022 is when we kind of, like the united states, more or less kind of reached a point where they were like it's mostly safe to travel, because there are definitely places like massachusetts was pretty well controlled because we're we're a very liberal state and we followed a lot of the uh up-to-date guidelines. As many of the southern, the southern states uh chose to just kind of wing it I love.

Speaker 1: 25:35

Yeah, like oh man yeah, but the thing is I just um, it was. It was interesting, I think a lot of there were a lot of breakups. I know there were a lot of people who were engaged and left COVID not together. Yeah, um, there were a whole lot of so kind of maybe it's a kind of a blessing that you weren't in a relationship. Um, I was. I honestly think so. Yeah, I, I was in one and it was just like we were going to kill each other.

Speaker 2: 26:06

Did you guys live together?

Speaker 1: 26:07

Yeah, and we started living together literally 10 months after God. Was it 10 months after we met? Wow, right, and then, so really and truly, that's only about six months. Wow, well, that explains a lot.

Speaker 2: 26:31

Six months after being together like official yeah, yeah, I mean, I mean I know people who have done that and it's worked out okay, but, like, I feel like for myself I don't really, unless it was like someone where I like automatically saw it like that's not really my style. No, but I definitely do know some people who kind of went into COVID together and didn't last the whole time because, like, a lot of the times you need your space and I feel like that was something that was lacking, especially at the beginning of covid, like and not being able to interact with anyone outside your little bubble too. It's just that's.

Speaker 1: 27:11

that's a lot for like six months then yeah, yeah, I didn't even realize that literally until this, this, this chat, 10 months knowing each other and basically signal yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's a it's a record, um, you get a gold medal for that one, thank you, and I, hopefully, banana bread slice, since we're talking about banana bread but I'm like gosh, you gotta make some banana bread yes, well, I'm.

Speaker 1: 27:37

I'm really thinking about food too, so we definitely run the same wavelength. I'm thinking about um, this is such a tangent. We will get back to the love stuff. Guys. I'm sorry, but juliana's my spirit animal. I feel like we could meander all day I will take that yeah, I would. I would, um, I want to share a recipe with you.

Speaker 1: 27:55

I found it on instagram um it's very simple and it's basically like smashed potatoes with paprika and garlic. I love mashed potatoes. It's like but no, they're smashed, so they're not even mashed. They're like you boil them a little bit and then you hit them hard so they're like they look like they've been sat on. Oh okay, and then it's even easier. Yeah, exactly, and then you put them in the like oven with the grill on and they get crunchy and it will be the best day of your life. You're welcome, okay yeah, that sounds.

Speaker 2: 28:29

That sounds great like. I'm also the person too who, like, when I get like apples, I make like baked apples where you put like the take the core out, you put butter and cinnamon and sugar and you just bake them in the oven for like 20 minutes, it's so easy.

Speaker 1: 28:41

Do they have to be like? Can they be like?

Speaker 2: 28:44

fresh. No, no, as long as they're like crispy I I've used, like any variety, I've used like macintosh apples, I've used like granny smith's different, like texture ones and because they have okay oh okay, so I've got ones that are like the green, green like they're, like I'm so hard, like you know, like, but yeah, you could use those okay, cool, okay done.

Speaker 1: 29:04

We've just swapped recipes, um. So I know you say you're over it, so are you not in the arena at all, or, and when was the last time you were in the arena?

Speaker 2: 29:15

yeah, so I like, right after Steve broke up with me, I did re-download, not anticipating COVID coming either. Yeah, like a lot of the dating apps that I was on previously.

Speaker 2: 29:26

Just because I've been on like tinder and hinge and bumble and all those apps and I had been using them previously. Like to meeting Steve, I actually met him because he messaged me. He worked for the news, the local newspaper at the time, um, and he messaged me about a article that he wanted a quote for me on because I'm pretty active in the running scene in the community that I live in, okay, and I was in like a picture and they, he wanted some kind of quote for something. And so we actually met over Facebook messenger cause he had messaged me there and then ended up going on a date. So, yeah, so nice little meet, cute right there.

Speaker 2: 30:04

But I had been on the, on the dating apps for probably, like I'll say, about three years, uh, with very poor success, like very poor success. Like just meeting these people who, like I like, either like one, like did not connect with at all once we met in person. Two were just like like shells of human beings. I called them like a cardboard box of a human, like there's just nothing inside them. It's just like a boring ass cardboard box. Cardboard box of a human. Like there's just nothing inside them. It's just like a boring ass cardboard box. Um, or just like meeting people who, like I, had this one guy I met named Scott, who I went on a date with him one day and then the next day he took me out with, like all his friends, for sushi. I was like this is too much, my friend, my dude.

Speaker 2: 30:49

I don't even know who you are like, and all his friends were like nice, but I was like this is kind of a lot like and all his friends were like nice. But I was like this is kind of a lot, why, if we like, fast-forwarded like six months, you know yeah and like then he wanted to meet up again the third day in a row.

Speaker 1: 31:03

I was like no oh, so you had date one, date two and possibly date three.

Speaker 2: 31:07

That was gonna be, yeah, one week three days in a row, oh no, three days in a row, consecutively. I did not go on day three date because I was like, no dude, I need to breathe for like five seconds, please, and thank you. We did it for two weeks, but it's not. It felt like five months to me because of the like, the frequency that I saw this man. No, that's too soon. No, no, no, yeah, it's just I.

Speaker 2: 31:28

I feel like also like I don't really thrive in the like I'm here to date kind of attitude places like the apps and stuff, like I'm much better at meeting people and then after like I get a vibe on you deciding, okay, is this someone that I would be romantically interested in? And also trying to find people like in the spaces that I like doing things that I enjoy, like if running races, like meeting people when I'm out doing that or whatever. Um like doing Harry Potter, conventions and stuff like that, things where I'm like, oh yeah, you and I have a shared interest, interest here already. Like we have a starting point to go off of. We both chose to be here, so we both obviously like this. Whatever, this said thing is enough to bring our own bodies here, um.

Speaker 1: 32:17

I like that you said that, because I feel like there is a movement going on where a lot of people like I'm done with this, I'm done with that.

Speaker 2: 32:24

Yeah, I feel it they're so like toxic in a way too, and I feel like I definitely know from just like as you probably do, for being a podcaster, doing a lot of things online with people people text a lot different than they talk and definitely accepting someone's texting personality is part of dating them. Like yeah, I, I know for a fact. I could not date my friend Jeff because I would murder him, because his texting style is just I'm like sorry, jeff.

Speaker 2: 32:57

I love. He's one of my best friends, but I just like the texting style.

Speaker 1: 33:01

I was like I like god bless you and your wife, because Ashley is Ashley's an angel but it's, you know, it's funny you talk about that because I think we can be and I know this may sound really cliche, but we can be whoever we want to be um behind whatsapp, like, if we're saying like, okay, we met them online and then we migrate to whatsapp and, um, I think there's a danger and there is.

Speaker 1: 33:28

So this there's two things I want to talk about. So I think, with the dating apps, I feel like I'm really on board with this movement of let's be in a common, like um, interest place, yeah, in order to attract that person, um, but I also feel like the dating apps attract a lot of, ironically, us kind of people, so entrepreneurs that are so busy, um, and which isn't necessarily a bad thing. But there are the kind of people who don't have the work-life balance and it's easier to you know, it's easier to swipe from their phone and therefore, when they are online, their personality is literally this like five percent snippet of who they actually are and they don't match in real life yeah, no, I like almost meet someone from from scratch when you're in face to face with them, because it's not really them.

Speaker 2: 34:19

I feel like that's more the women than it is the men. I feel like I feel like I meet guys and I'm like, oh yeah, uh-huh, you're just as boring in person as you are over text. And I feel like I feel like it's like most of the bad interactions I've had have been like they sound great over text. And then I meet them in person and I feel like I feel like it's like most of the bad interactions I've had have been like they sound great over text. And then I meet them in person and I'm like oh, but I feel like most of the women that I talk to who are on apps like myself, like are in that exact situation where you're talking about. We're like okay, I have five minutes between the like X number of things I'm going to be doing today. Let me just send a few messages over to like these people, and then I have to go on to x, y and z the rest of my day yes, but I always feel like I don't know.

Speaker 1: 35:00

I get the impression women show up though, as they are, like they would show up and they'd be like yeah, actually I, I am very busy, but I'm not like a different, I don't have a different personality.

Speaker 2: 35:10

Yeah, yeah, well, I, I think, I yeah.

Speaker 1: 35:13

I'm on the exact same train as you were.

Speaker 2: 35:15

Like the women are not. Yeah, like we're not presenting to be something else. We're only utilizing the amount of time that we have possible. That's it, whereas guys, I feel like, like I said, like I meet guys over though, like over text, and they seem like a, like a much better version of whoever it is, and then that person shows up and I'm like, oh yeah, cardboard box, human again. Yeah, um, so it's just I.

Speaker 2: 35:35

Yeah, I agree with you too and that, like women, we're not presenting to be anything else no, like we're we're just using the other time that we have, yeah, whereas guys are like, let me take a minute to like, curate this like weird personality that I'm going to pretend to be here and then when I show up, she'll just like me anyway, even though I'm kind of not being the same person here as I was online, yeah do you know what's interesting about that?

Speaker 1: 35:57

like the mirroring aspect, like, have you ever encountered anyone who you felt like you brought the energy to? Either the relationship or maybe, if it was a short thing, the dating experience? Um, and how did you find that?

Speaker 2: 36:12

and they kind of just like copied you basically yeah, so that's something like I'm actively trying to like not do, because I, at my core, I'm a performer. Um, I did a lot of theater like all the way up through when I graduated high school, an actual, actual performer.

Speaker 2: 36:30

That's awesome yeah, I mean like, and I thrive off doing like, like I'm going to a Harry Potter convention this summer and I'm doing five live panels and that's like I love it. Um, I also do race announcing for the Cape Cod marathon down here. Um, and I stand at the finish line and announce like I, I thrive off, like I love doing stuff like that what? Is your star sign I'm a Gemini you are a Gemini.

Speaker 1: 36:52

You are a Gemini.

Speaker 2: 36:55

It is my birthday actually, I'm turning 30 today. Hey, no, thank you.

Speaker 1: 37:03

Yeah, I'm going to try and get a jingle of some sort in this episode. Oh honey, happy birthday.

Speaker 2: 37:11

Oh, thank you. Yeah, this is fun. I I just took the day off pretty much and I was like you know, I'll just do a podcast today. This is like a chill. Oh, it shows like I I love, like I said, I love like performing, I love doing like podcasting stuff. For me, this isn't a lot like stressful in any capacity. This is just like a nice chat, like fun chat, yeah, and I'm gonna go hang out with my friends later and I love running. Like I said, I went, I ran 15 miles up where I live here.

Speaker 1: 37:39

This morning was really nice, so oh well, I feel so honored that you're on the show on your birthday. That's so cool.

Speaker 2: 37:46

Yeah, and I've kind of been like spreading out, like like we went to a drag, we went to I love the little mermaid. We went to a little mermaid drag brunch last week with some of my friends to celebrate.

Speaker 2: 37:55

Oh God, it was so much fun. I loved it. And again, like performative aspect, I also they let the anyone who was celebrating anything they let us get up and like sing under the like, lip sync to Under the Sea with them. And I was like, wait, I have to go back to my seat after this, like I can't just join the show. You're making me go back to my seat. Like I'll put on, I'll put on some makeup. Let me be part of the show. So at some point I will be a drag queen.

Speaker 1: 38:20

I can just imagine you being like ushered, like no, no, sweet, like you, you gotta go back, yeah they'll be like bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye so, like so on a date, then so, or in a relationship dynamic, and you've got someone who's just copying that like yeah, how does that go?

Speaker 2: 38:37

it's so draining and I found that I, I think, because I put out that energy and, like I, I don't like for there to be dead space in a conversation and I, as like someone with ADHD, I don't have a problem talking, like it's funny. When I started podcasting my one of my co-hosts and my friend Mel, she was like Juliana, if you have to do a solo episode, I don't know if you can fill an hour and, like I can easily like you, you, my problem is like being concise Like I. The other day I did an interview with someone and they were like okay, you have to summarize us yourself in third and like 60 seconds. And I like gave them this weird face. They're like what I was. Like I don't know if I can keep it to 60 seconds. That's a pretty short time period. I don't know if 60 seconds is enough. So, like I, I definitely I can speak a lot and I also like I, I, I know myself I have a lot of like facial expressions. I go through a lot of tonal differences in my voice, which can lead to an engaging conversation for the other person who's part of it and also usually leads to me being like a performer. Essentially Like I usually.

Speaker 2: 39:42

Like I found that most first dates that I've gone on like I like the guy coming away from it was like wow, I had fun, because they were watching a show. The entire time. I like like they did not do anything, they barely said a thing. Because, again, I seem to attract men who, like don't have any personality. Um, I think because they see me, they're like oh, this girl can complete me. No, I want, I don't want someone who to complete, I want someone to like do improv scenes with me, someone who, like I can like yell back to them and we can sing a Disney song together, just because they know what I was asking for, and they too can bring that same energy back in. So I've kind of more or less actively been trying to like not fall into that trap as much anymore, like when I have been like doing anything one-on-one with people recently but yeah, I definitely do that a lot one with people recently, but yeah, I definitely do that a lot.

Speaker 1: 40:39

Um, and I feel very, very, very drained and tired afterwards. So where do you think? Because you know, as we were talking about, like, we always have that portion of where do you think things come from? Because we've all got something that comes from somewhere, like where we're magnetizing something we either want or don't want, and can you pinpoint that at all, like, like, where that could possibly come from from your, your life experience to date?

Speaker 2: 40:58

I think I mean I my best guess. Honestly, I've always just liked performing. Like, even when I was in like grade school, I was part of this like singing and dancing group called early act and like that was like my big thing, that I used to do and I did. I took ballet as a kid. But I think that the biggest thing for me is that I am the oldest of four kids and I am a mama's girl all the way through.

Speaker 2: 41:24

And I think somewhere internally, when each of my siblings were born, I was like that's the tension that's being taken away from me. I can't believe it. They're giving this child, these extra three children, attention. And I had all the attention at first because I was, I was alone for like a year and a half and I was like, yes, everything is mine, like everything is mine, pay attention to me. And then, just like my mom was always really busy, my dad was like kind of like not really press. He was always at work. So, like our my childhood was largely void of his presence, um, but like just always vying for like their time to be like, look at me, look at me, look at me, because their time was precious anyway, because they were so busy with having four kids and also working multiple jobs, um, that like I never got that like attention that I wanted. I feel like, and so I'm like let me outsource it.

Speaker 2: 42:14

Um, and also, like I know the dynamic talking and the one, the facial expressions. That's just something that I do. Um, I have people like tell me they're like I never use my eyebrows. I was like I do eyebrow choreography all the time, whether I like it or not, I and I'm terrible at hiding my facial expressions because people like you're surprised, julianne, I'll be. Oh yeah, you can read that off my face. Oops, oops. Did I just tell everyone how I was feeling by just like looking funny? Yeah, maybe. Oh well, which is something I've actually have to actually like like work on as a dietitian too, because, like I've had people for example, this gentleman who told me that he eats five sticks of butter as an afternoon snack and I had to be like goodness, wow, yeah, that's a choice you made. Um, and just like not break character in any capacity and um, that's been a learning process as well.

Speaker 1: 43:12

Yeah, wow, I yeah. This is why I'm not a dietitian, because um fun fact. So I'm um, as a the audience knows, I'm a virgo, proud virgo, but my um, do you know much about astrology?

Speaker 2: 43:26

just a little bit, mostly just about like Gemini's, just because I'm that's part, because I am a Gemini and we are a little bit self-centered.

Speaker 1: 43:34

My. So, like you, everyone has a rising sign which is like your social cloak, and but you can only know it if you know what time you were born. So if you don't know the exact time you were born, if you know a wishy-washy kind of time, then I'm sorry. I think it was around like eight at night, maybe the word, the fact you said, I think it's like no get out of here. Yeah, I have to ask my mom, yeah.

Speaker 2: 43:58

She'll remember she had, she birthed me. She knows the time she will know.

Speaker 1: 44:01

Yeah, she cause it's, it's a a really interesting. It's not like the most important part of astrology, but it's an interesting thing. So mine is a Gemini, so a lot of Gemini's think I'm a Gemini and I'm like I'm an imposter, but I will bounce with you, yeah, yeah. And the facial expression thing is the thing that, um, when you have a rising sign, you have a lot of expression.

Speaker 2: 44:21

So I really, yeah, I empathize with you, yeah, I feel like that's a big Gemini thing too, because we're very good at code switching again, like the twins, like they're the people. I've seen some like some tiktoks, where people like gemini's at a party. You're like, yeah, cool.

Speaker 2: 44:33

Whatever you go in the bathroom, you're like, yeah, it's just like because you have like this personality, you can turn on and off different sides of you and like I'm someone, like no matter how like shitty I am feeling, I can go performing Juliana, like I can literally like lose a family member, like get in a car crash and then five minutes later being like no welcome to this show and like I can just fully separate myself on that side, and like switch into performance side, which I know is something that is definitely not in everyone's brain no, and it's funny because I feel like some Geminis get a bad rap, especially in the dating arena, where they're like it's interesting, I'm going to a really cool party with one of my closest friends who is a Gemini and like I'm.

Speaker 1: 45:16

When I said this to her, she's like oh my god, I feel so seen because the bad rep is you guys are two-faced, it's like no, you guys are fakes, like no, it's, it's moods and it's a code. I think code switching is the best example I've ever heard.

Speaker 2: 45:30

Yeah, yeah I think it's also like you have to think of it from, like an acting perspective too. That's exactly what you do when you're acting is and I think there's a lot of gemini's who are actors too for that reason because you have like certain like feelings or emotions you can tap into and like it's not that you're like abandoning whatever side that you are not playing into anymore. It's more or less just like. I have all these spots in my brain. I can sit in one of them. Let me just put that to the side, I will come back to it.

Speaker 2: 45:57

But like I need to just separate myself for a minute and operate in this said brain space and again works out really well in acting because, like, if someone's like, okay, it's time to be sad, like I can pretty much cry on demand. For the most part, I can work myself up to that um, and it's just like knowing how to do. That is something I think comes a little bit more just like built into our systems. As a gemini, it's just one of those functions that we have already.

Speaker 1: 46:25

I mean, you hear it. Guys like this gemini if you are a gemini, you've got it in your, in your chart and it's a pretty predominant place. It's a superpower, and I think it's a superpower for dating as well, because that must come in handy.

Speaker 2: 46:38

Even on a bad date, like you can, you can make it through, yeah I think it's, it's really useful to and this is like partially like the gem, I think partially like a learned skill of being able to like kind of almost remove yourself from the situation and like look at it and be like, okay, what's actually happening here? Like juliana, you're putting on a performance for this date. Like you can either walk away, you can finish it up, or you can just like say no and just like whatever, yeah, um, and just being able to like if, if I decide like I want to switch off, like I can, I can just switch off and move into a different brain space and be like, yep, I'm leaving, and then be like what?

Speaker 1: 47:14

and like, yep, bye, sorry does your, does you, do you find that you have a lot of soul, leave your body situations like just how you describe, where it's like okay, yeah, I, I mean that's.

Speaker 2: 47:24

I definitely taught myself to do that a little bit more. Just because I feel like I operate in and this is definitely an adhd thing too like I operate on feelings and emotions for the most part and sometimes my therapist, and shout out to ann, who I've been working with for like five years now she's like my rock. Um, she always likes to say feelings are not facts and and so just separating myself be like this is how I'm feeling and it's completely valid. Like I feel all the feelings that I want, but like what is actually happening in this situation. I can feel like someone's betraying me and I feel angry at them and I'm so mad. But like really they just like they accidentally missed me in like the line of handing out donuts or whatever, and it was a complete accident and they didn't mean anything mean of it. But I'm feeling like they did, but in the reality of the situation, like what is?

Speaker 2: 48:15

actually happening here, yeah, which is a skill that I like feel like as a gemini kind of, is a more easily learnable skill. Yeah, just because we are used to being like okay, now I put this in this box and I will come back to it I think that again, you've given our audience another gold gem, and also myself as well.

Speaker 1: 48:33

That's a really good thing, because I think so. Um, another astrology tip, so like in terms of another key thing, is your moon. So your moon is like how you operate emotionally. This normally tells you a lot about your, um, uh, instinct reactions to things. So mine is an Aries and I can be quite fiery, uh, so that does come into play. I think, um, you know, I don't know if you can resonate with this, but normally, if my emotions are running the show, it is because I have done one or multiple things on this list Gym, being outside, eating enough fiber and had a big poo, a big. Oh, yeah, I'm going to. Actually, this is my show, so I'm definitely going to be more honest. A big donkey dick poo. You need a big donkey dick poo at least once a week.

Speaker 2: 49:27

Oh yeah, then you got to like. If you honestly, from a dietician standpoint too, if you're not pooping regularly like there's something wrong. You need to get that checked out.

Speaker 1: 49:36

Yes, and and yeah and the. The consequences of that are dire, as I'm sure some of you may know if you've got IBS. So yeah, it's yeah.

Speaker 2: 49:46

I've been there Drinking enough water too, please, thank you.

Speaker 1: 49:49

That was my next one, water. You don't have enough sleep and have you done something that promotes pleasure, joy normally, and and actually this is getting quite long, this list. And also, are you abandoning yourself? You know, sometimes it's just about that, like you've just over, you've overdone, you've over people pleased, or you've you know, you haven't actually thought about what you want yeah, no, I completely resonate with, exactly with all that I will also add on to your list too.

Speaker 2: 50:21

Like having a meaningful interaction with another person, that that's something that like, and I that I can definitely say as someone who, uh, I think the side of me that resonates the most with that would be my harry potter hufflepuff side.

Speaker 1: 50:34

I love how we have the.

Speaker 2: 50:35

Yeah, I know I do all right, the the general like is that your house, yes, okay, um, each of the houses has kind of like a more what I'll call like an updated main trait that they carry with them something, as someone who I'm like a really big nerd in harry potter, like I've thought about this for a long time, way more than really anyone ever should. But, like the main, like the main connection that I've found through knowing a lot of people who are in this group of Hufflepuffs is empathy. We are empathetic At our core. The biggest thing that motivates our actions is empathy, and that's kind of something that I definitely like I'm the person to for my birthday, if you give me a nice handwritten letter, I will cherish that forever and I will love it and I will probably cry and it will be like a big emotional event. You give me like a 10,000 diamond dollar diamond ring and there's no emotion or feeling behind it. I'm probably like going to put it in a draw and never look at it, right?

Speaker 1: 51:36

It's not going to matter to me.

Speaker 2: 51:39

Like the price point. It's more like the emotions and the feelings behind it, and I feel like for me to too, like I need to add like a meaningful emotional, even if it's just like a little like message back and forth, like over voice message with someone, just like some kind of like meaningful emotional connection throughout the day yeah, oh, okay, I maybe I need to think about I always thought I was Gryffindor, but maybe I need to have a look at that oh well, yeah, I think gryffindors gryffindors are people who you want to take.

Speaker 2: 52:10

You're very like action driven, can be impulsive and are driven mostly by like kind of like justice and like outside factors to lead to that impulsivity and, um, like, action seeking. I think that's correct. Yeah, yeah, gryffindors are very like, very action-based.

Speaker 2: 52:33

There's very like, like and very much so being like I'm going to do this because I feel like this will benefit the greater good more or less yeah, whereas, like slytherins, are almost exactly the same, except they're only it's self-preservation, oh, which is not a bad thing in any capacity, so that could mean which can be really really helpful too. I am half Slytherin as well, too, so I can be oh, wow, okay, I need to find out who is. I'm out to get anything. I my my whole like stick in life is like I am out to get things that are good for Juliana, but in a nice kind way yeah, yeah, not like uh.

Speaker 2: 53:14

Yeah, yeah, in a with a hufflepuff energy, but with a Slytherin kind of determination yeah, yeah, slytherin's a lot of times like they do things and they kind of like it's a very narrow path that they're following and they're just kind of doing it for themselves, whereas, like I'm rocking down the street, I'm like, wow, you look great, you look nice. And then I get to the end of the street and they're like we should give Juliana a raise and like, yeah, she gave us so many compliments of like that's what I was looking for. I was looking for a raise, but I was doing it in a nice way, so that way, everyone else got something out of it too.

Speaker 1: 53:41

I see that that's a good mix.

Speaker 2: 53:43

Actually, I think it's like a powerful mix yeah, well, it's kind of elevating the community around you and the people that you also know too. But then in turn, like if you turn around and you're like, hey, I need this one thing, they're like you have like five million people immediately because you've done all these small, other little tasks for them.

Speaker 1: 53:59

You have an army yes, works every time what, juliana? First of all, happy birthday again. Yeah, thank you. This has been so much fun. Like, honestly, I just and I'd like when I have guests like you, I'm just like I just want to stay here forever. But I know you've got some birthday stuff to do. You've got birthday cake to slice up.

Speaker 2: 54:20

You know, as a dietitian, you are allowed yeah, I, I haven't bought any desserts or sweets yet because I was going to go to the store today because I also have a free starbucks drink that I'm going to go pick up too. Um, yes, um, treat myself today. Yeah, now I'm like I should go just buy banana bread, I think, maybe, or buy or make yeah, I will. I don't have any bananas on me and I'm kind of late, feeling kind of lazy today about the baking side of things. So it might be just like going because there are some, there are some grocery stores around here that like make their own baked goods. So I'll probably just do that.

Speaker 1: 54:56

Yeah, ok, I will live vicariously through you. And where can people find you if they want a little bit?

Speaker 2: 55:02

more about you. Yeah, so I am at Ne neuro DRD on Instagram. I'm also at jelly Anna underscore runs on Instagram as my personal Instagram, and I believe the link tree will be linked in this episode as well too. So if anyone is interested in one-on-one counseling appointments with me again, these are virtual, so it doesn't matter where you are in the world, just go ahead and hit up that link tree or go over to neuro drd at uh instagram so she is as you, as you can hear guys, so lovely, so transparent, so awesome.

Speaker 1: 55:36

Um, I've got another state to visit. No, no, no, no.

Speaker 2: 55:39

I know I'm bad at lying it's a problem sometimes I'm like again that poker face thing working on it tell me again your instagram, so I'm just typing it in now yes, it's neuro n-e-u-r-o-d and then rd, and that should be me. It should be me like a little witch's hat. Um, yes, and there's some nice little tips there about people who are neurodivergent a lot of like eating as neurodivergent tips, um, that you can kind of help. You feel less alone too, and maybe you learned something thank you so much.

Speaker 1: 56:14

Yeah, so we guys you've got her instagram twice because I didn't get my phone quick enough, um, and and so, yeah, we will leave it there. Please send all your beautiful energy to Julianne on her birthday. And yeah, we'll see you again for another show of fun and games Next week, and I can stay when it's only you. You.