THE MALE VOICE SERIES PART 2 - Finding Comfort in the Chaos with Founder, Ewan Moran

Ever felt like you were juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle, trying to balance work and personal life? Ewan Moran, the Scottish powerhouse behind the Global Employment Blockchain, joins us to share his contagious energy and wisdom on turning life's pandemonium into a recipe for fulfillment. With a blend of humor and hearty anecdotes, Ewan reveals the importance of intertwining relationships with work and how to relish the chaos that entrepreneurship often stirs.

Treading through the minefield of relationship conflicts, we bring in a dash of sportsmanship and political savvy with Ewan as our guide. He sheds light on the delicate art of conflict resolution and keeping the peace with emotional maturity as our ally. It's a candid look at the hurdles couples face, packed with techniques for engaging with the conflict-avoidant and turning potential discord into opportunities that fortify bonds. There's no sidestepping tough talks here; we embrace the chaos head-on, crafting stronger connections in the process.

And then there's the enigma of communication between the sexes. "Fine" might as well be the most loaded word in any language, but Ewan and I tackle its mysteries with a touch of humor and some relatable tales from the trenches of love and life. We wrap up this rollercoaster ride with a nod to the resilience born from facing troubles together and a cheeky insight into the green flags that signal emotional intelligence in a partner. Join us for laughs, life lessons, and an unfiltered look at the vibrant tapestry of human connections.

Connect with Ewan:
Website: thegeck.org

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Did I give it away? Or was it a persuasion? You are in my space. I, I, oh wait. I don't care what you say, I'm loving it this way. I'm hoping that you stay. I, I, oh wait. You're talking me to sleep. Was it a persuasion? You are in my space. I I, oh wait.

Speaker 2: 0:23

I don't care what you say, I'm loving it this way. I'm your host, rachel rose. Today we've got another bonus episode with one of our very, very high value men. We've got ewan moran, from my neck of the woods this time, and I'm always interviewing americans. We finally got a brit and he is the founder of the ge. We're talking about finding comfort within chaos. So, as you know, with these bonus episodes we're talking to men who have a lot of experience in relationships from all different backgrounds and cultures and really going behind the scenes or I should say getting into their brains of male psychology and how everything works on their side, and seeing how much they understand us as women as well. So welcome Ewan.

Speaker 1: 1:26

Hi, I'm Scottish, not Britishish, by the way oh sorry, it's fine, it's fine. You can't see us.

Speaker 2: 1:32

Well, for a londoner, that same thing, which is really sad to say. But we're just like yeah, it's the same, we're all the same that that would not fly in scotland. If you go to scotland saying, uh, the scottish and londoners are the same, you're no run for the border this is why I haven't been you and this is why, yeah, I maybe I need to do my homework before I get up there, otherwise I'm going to sound really, really London.

Speaker 2: 1:55

Yeah oh gosh but yeah, so good to have you. I know we've been talking about you getting on the show for a while, so really excited to have you. Um, so talk to us about the GEC. Like what is it? I know you're a great entrepreneur and you're solid in your work. You inspire me all the time, so tell us a little bit about it yeah.

Speaker 1: 2:14

So, um, it's been a roller coaster and a journey. I'll definitely um attest to that um. But now we basically just build, uh, employment infrastructure like militaries, governments, corporations. It's called the GEC, the Global Employment Blockchain. That's what we use, but GEC in Scotland and in Afrikaans means crazy, so it's like a little easter egg that I've put in there for everyone. So, on the face it's a global employment blockchain, but actually it's a way of calling people crazy. So, yeah, it's always good to have a bit of fun with when you're making a business, I guess.

Speaker 2: 2:53

And is it fun? Because your clientele are serious Americans. I'm assuming that's the main client base, if not your only client base. So when do you get to have fun? Because I know you're just like such a charismatic person. How do you feed that in to your work without losing yourself?

Speaker 1: 3:10

And this does tie into the dating bit a little bit. There's so many people like gurus on LinkedIn who, like those who can't do, teach. That is a fact and they'll say hey, you know, you have to have like a work-life balance. It's like, if you want somebody who's going to be making a lot of money or just being successful it's not always just about money, it's about having a good time while we're on this planet you kind of have to get work and life and just like mush it together. I see it with boundaries, that they'll come to the office like 9 till 5 and then pack up and leave, but then, like we're staying there until like two in the morning um, not all the time, but sometimes and it's just like well, while you're sleeping or watching spongebob squarepants, you know we're still, you know working while you're watching. You know that. So, um, you don't do that all the time.

Speaker 1: 3:59

But there is that component of like just mix it all together and have a blast while doing it, and, um, you can always bring your partner into that as well. I mean, you want to kind of keep business a little bit different in terms of like when you go to meet a client, for example that you don't want to. You know, bring your partner to. You know every single client that you mix and that kind of muddy waters. But like, come to the office, let's have a pizza or something, go on the terrace afterwards, then go for a show down by the thames or whatever.

Speaker 1: 4:23

Like mix it that way and it's like, uh, american and british, but we're gonna, we're going to dc quite a bit. It's like, well, you can make a trip out of that. It's like, well, I'll, I'll be doing business, you know, during the day, but then after that we can, we can go for a meal and like, you know, foggy bottom or along the potomac river or something, and so you make it like enjoyable, yeah, so yeah no, I think it's, it's really good and, um, like I say, you're one of the people that really inspire me, the way you handle your business, and I love how we have named this you know, finding comfort in chaos, because just the nature of your work.

Speaker 2: 4:57

You can already understand that I'm sure it's. Maybe most days are not like a walk in the park. You know, it's not just a you, just you know strolling through and it's flowers and blossoms and rainbows. So talk to us about some of your most chaotic times, of course, you know, without breaching confidentiality because of the nature of your work. But also, yeah, how, how do you manage the chaos when it arises and how do you find the comfort when it comes to work in the chaos in the um?

Speaker 1: 5:24

okay, so, yes, obviously you know, going into like defense or trying to work with like large corporates, um, you deal with like a director, like a colonel or somebody in government, for example, um, and they'll like spit like a like a three-letter acronym at you which you're supposed to know, um, just kind of like a little bit quiet for five minutes. You know, go to the toilet, google it and then come back out like an expert and you just kind of have to adapt to the situation a lot. And Richard Vance has a very famous quote where he said if somebody asks you, can you do something? Even if you can't do it, say yes, then figure out how.

Speaker 1: 6:02

And that does go full aspects of life. Like don't just be like that's not my area, I'm not going to get into it, just be like sure and then figure it out, um, because then you grow as a person and then you've learned it and then you can do that again. So like just and it kind of ties into the whole, like opportunity, kind of things that people say no opportunity because they're not qualified or something like first off, if you're a human being, you you can be, unless it's like you know doing surgery, um, don't, don't just you go and google looking at how to do brain surgery. That's not going to end well, um, but apart from that, just figure it out and that's probably what life is all about, right yes, and you know, can you?

Speaker 2: 6:38

I don't know, ladies, if you can feel it, but this is 100 capricorn energy. It's just so good and I I think women are stepping into an age where we're really adapting this. This is a very masculine energy kind of frame of thought of actually, you know, I don't have all of the skillset for this particular task. I've been given all this particular job. I'm going to do it anyway because I believe in myself and I think more and more women are stepping into that. Um and so, were you always that kind of person growing up, or is that level of confidence something that you've developed?

Speaker 1: 7:11

um, you say confidence at the end, then yeah, yeah, so, um, I mean, I wasn't always the most confident person on the planet, but and I started off doing nuclear engineering about 10 years ago. Um then went to uni like seven, dropped out of uni after like two years. I went to like four lectures in my entire time there. But I was there to like learn and build a business and get access to their machines and stuff. You know um, so I've always just been curious a little bit.

Speaker 1: 7:38

Um, but the the confidence thing again, it's like, but when people shy away from stuff, like you can, always if you don't know what to do, like people will get a bit frustrated, a little bit scared or something.

Speaker 1: 7:49

Um, and even we all like go through that. Um, but you can always just take five minutes, like just again, you know, if somebody said something you're not, you're not aware of, um, you got a difficult question, just put that I'm going to the toilet, and then just take five minutes. Um, you know, look at what you gotta look up, or just breathe, look in the toilet and then just take five minutes. You know, look at what you've got to look up, or just breathe, look in the mirror and just chill out and then put your you know, your head back on and go back in there Like try and obviously it's more of like a male thing to try to remove emotion from stuff, but like it can even in, you know, like when you've got a partner, for example, sometimes the best thing you can do when there's a bit of confusion or like an argument or something, just take five minutes, just cool down, like put your thinking cap back on and then get back out there.

Speaker 2: 8:32

Yes, and like I just I love the link that you're making between that. So is that that is, I guess, is this the link you're making between the chaos, like you're always quite solution focused, it sounds, when it comes to anything that arises, because, sorry, ladies, you and isn't single. Um, so when any kind of relationship issues arise, either you know now in your current relationship or in past relationships, is that how you kind of frame things in terms of you know, coming out and making it.

Speaker 1: 9:00

Yeah, I mean in in past, um, adventures probably not, but again, I'm only 25. So I'm still, you know, I'm still quite fresh, I'd say, but definitely, like, after maturing a little bit, I think it's you can very easily just allow your emotions to take control, but then nobody ever wins. And ultimately, like you might say what you want to say in that moment control, but then nobody ever wins. Um, and and ultimately, like you might say what you want to say in that moment, but then okay, you might feel good. You're that negative, going to feel good. Energy that you do get in that moment in time might make you feel good, but after that you're like, uh, that's not helped anybody.

Speaker 1: 9:38

Um, so it's like, if you want to say something, make damn well sure that you would say it. You know, when you're the happiest person, like in in, you know in the day, um, otherwise don't say it kind of thing, um, because bear in mind, like, when there are like problems in in a relationship, like you can always bring it up elsewhere. Like if I've got a problem that I want to talk about, I'll be like, hey, here's some jaffa cakes, let's put a movie on, and you know, we'll get some popcorn and a bottle of wine and then it'll be like oh, you know what you said yesterday. You know it was uh, you know, I didn't like that too much. Are we good like, but that's the kind of thing you can do. You can always bring it back up at a later date. Um, you don't have to do it there.

Speaker 1: 10:16

Then and I think I see some people break up because they've had an argument um, I'm like, but like, if we dealt with it almost like it was business or like can you imagine like politicians like you're like prime ministers of presidents, like they have an argument with, say like putin, and go, that's it, we're going to war? Like that's the equivalent of what you're doing with your partner and it's like that's the person who, at the end of the day, you've made the decision to be with and to spend a lot of your time with. We're only on the planet for like 80 years, so every year you're with someone. That's like an actual percentage of your life. So like, maybe we shouldn't like just jump straight to the like let's fight and and get it all out. Like, if you want to get it out, put on a pair of boxing gloves and go to the gym, like yeah, there's, there's, and that's actually, I think, is a huge reason why a lot of relationships are struggling nowadays. Nobody's channeling that energy out there. There's a link. I'll give you this Like a lot of football fans, there's no violence on the pitch.

Speaker 1: 11:15

There's no violence, it's non-contact. But football fans are some of the most violent. There's a reason why so many police are at football matches right, because everyone's so violent off the pitch and you have to like partition, the fans and everything. But in rugby there's like maximum violence on the pitch. But both teams, you're all drinking together in the bar afterwards and it's total camaraderie because you've gotten all your aggression out in the appropriate manner. And that's if we do it there, why don't we do it here? And it's the same thing. And that's if we do it there, why don't we do it here? And it's the same thing. Like get your anger out, you know in the gym or you know on a punch bag or something. Don't do it to your partner, who you're making sacrifices for on the daily basis.

Speaker 2: 11:55

I love that because I think what you do is hold relationships on a very healthy pedestal. You see the value in it and every time that kind of conflict comes up, you're weighing up is it worth me disrupting the harmony of the relationship for this? And I think that's definitely a skill that a lot of the listeners here, and I can even say myself, would love. If a lot more men really understood that. I would love for you actually just following up on that to talk about when there are scenarios that I'm sure a lot of women can really resonate with, where they're the ones you know bringing that kind of energy of. Ok, you know I've worked through my emotional accountability. I know what I've done to contribute to this particular breakdown in communication. Let's have a conversation. They're met with someone, for example, that they've.

Speaker 2: 12:43

They're very emotional, mature, but when it comes to chaos or when it comes to conflict, they are very conflict avoidant and, as a result, women are either um, what's the word? Ghosted or, um, stonewalled. You know it's more or less the same. Well, stonewalled could be temporary. Ghosting, I think we all assume is like they're gone. Um, so how, what would you advise? Or you, you know what's your opinion on that. How does a woman really navigate that and somehow find comfort in that type of chaos?

Speaker 1: 13:13

I mean so from a psychology perspective, like if, if there is a conflict, it means that something that I am doing isn't quite right. If there is a conflict, it means that something that I am doing isn't quite right and that actually goes against the core of who we are as biological beings. It goes against your survivability almost. So if I don't know something, that's a risk to me. I don't like that, so I'm going to put my walls up. And that's why people avoid conflict, because they want ignorance is bliss. People like to just believe that they're the best person on the planet. You know, nothing they could ever do is wrong kind of thing, and you know what's it to you. If they do, they don't want to deal with it and, um, I think it kind of comes down to being like in that situation go, okay, look, this is okay as long as we like kind of talk about it. Um, but when you just come up being like, when you give the problem being like, hey, this problem, this problem has happened straightaway, it's like, oh shit, this could go down the nuclear path pretty quick. So then they just don't want that to happen, so they'll just subvert around it. But if you go, hey, here's a solution, like, look, this is going to be okay, let's dive into it. And that's hard when there's a lot of emotion there. So again, it's about removing the emotion from the equation a little bit if it's serious. But then if they're still being fake, if they're still trying to like not deal with it, that's not a serious relationship. But they're not. They're not in terms of they're not committed, like if you're committed to your partner, you're, you should be a mature, you should be willing to, to walk through it. Um, even when you are between, you've got a partner you're just being given did this. It's like they're looking at me for um kind of thing. Um, but if you go to the solution, I told my partner this with her, her internship. It was just like, oh, you know I didn't do this Like taking notes at a meeting. She had like nothing written down, um, and she was like, oh, they're going to, they're going to hit. You know, kill me when I say I've not got anything. I went, so go to the solution. So you know, I didn't type up any notes because you know it was going too quick, but I'm quick at writing, so next time I'll write it down instead and I can type it up after Solution Go with a solution, not a problem.

Speaker 1: 15:14

And I think, when it comes to resolving issues, as long as you say if it's a deal breaker of a problem, a deal, if it's a deal break of a problem, you won't be having that conversation anyway. So it's something that you can work beyond, whatever it is. So when you go, look, this is not going to lead to anarchy, as long as we can, you know, just have a civilized discussion over a beer and a you know like a pizza or something, and you haven't got like I've seen like films, like an actual sit down being like you know, you did this and that. Just bring a pizza into the mix. Nobody can be mad when you've got pepperoni pizza sat in front of you. And again, this is where everyone kind of goes a bit sideways. It's like just make the. If you make the environment like friendly, you can have a hostile conversation in a friendly environment and it shouldn't go to shit Again, if you are mature and you're both committed.

Speaker 2: 16:01

That's so interesting. I love that no-transcript. If you feel like you want to broach the the conversation and there is a bit of conflict, you could try that. And if that doesn't work, like as you were saying, then, like you've done what you can, you know you've been accountable. For your part, you can try and make the environment a little bit better, a little bit less hostile. You could be dealing with someone who's conflict avoidant. Conflict avoidant doesn't mean someone's a bad person, but you know, feel out the situation.

Speaker 1: 16:31

If your olive branch doesn't work, then you know, you just but then, but you've at least extended it, you know, and and there is no magic key to make something work every single time. But we're humans, but we've all come from very different walks of life. We've lived very different experiences, like like we all take shit different, we've all got different chemicals in our brain, we all spawn in different ways. Like there's no magic pill that works all the time.

Speaker 1: 16:55

But like just in business, you try and de-risk things, like if I want to de-risk a client saying no, like okay, I'll buy him lunch, or if I know that they've got like a daughter or a son, I'll be like hey, how are they doing? You know it helps. You know de-risk, you know the actual conversation. So just try and de-risk the, the actual conversation. Like I say, like put out a spread, you know, get a pizza in, put a film on, light some candles or whatever, make it hospitable, so then you can have that kind of conversation and again, hopefully should be able to resolve it and then, even if they do, it ends up in an argument.

Speaker 2: 17:26

They should at least be able to see you put in the effort and that goes down like a, that goes down like a treat and I think you know you're really touching on a really key point here, because a lot of the women who are going to be listening own their own business or, at the very least, have a really thriving career in corporate. But it's all the same like, whether you're a business owner or you're in corporate, you have stakeholders, you have clients. To some degree it's the same kind of relationship and I think, with love. You know, society has a really strong influence in the way that we kind of there's the separation of how actually similar it is to dealing with customer, client base, a customer base, whatever.

Speaker 2: 18:01

Um, it's exactly what you're saying. You know how do I change the situation. You know how do I make this environment better. If you, if you extend an offering like that, then yeah, of course, things will work out. But I think that's a really good takeaway for a lot of people listening. You know why. What about thinking outside of the box? What about treating love as if it's business, not transactional and weird like that?

Speaker 1: 18:22

but like it's not even about treating it like business, I think, and it kind of is, but like relationship management in business a little bit, yeah, but it's like something that I I kind of have gotten a little bit, um, frustrated with is just seeing how people love to label things like you are the client, I am the provider. Therefore, you know we can't go for a beer, as, as you know, uh, after work. I'm like, yeah, you can. And when you look at like the high performing people, like like if you're a client or something, you're playing golf like once a month with them, again, you blend If you just remove the term client or boyfriend or girlfriend or boss, whatever, and just go human, treat people like humans.

Speaker 1: 19:07

We forget this. This society is about as far from natural as possible and we like to think that we're these invincible. You know, sophisticated people, we're still humans, we act emotionally, we react emotionally, we are very emotion-driven creatures, we have negative bias or that we still have lobster brains. You know we're humans, so treat them like a natural human being. You know, no matter what the situation is like, if you deal with somebody as a fellow human, like, odds on, you're going to do good. There is that problem of okay, well, are they doing that in return? Because then they might be like, oh, I can abuse this and, but then that's an abusive person. So you know.

Speaker 2: 19:47

Yeah, no, you've touched on something really key as well, because I think, naturally, of course, as humans, like, no one wants to be a doormat. I think, particularly for women listening who have been they're recovering people pleasers, for example there's always this fear of betrayal that's there, or fear of giving too much, especially if they've done so much work, and so you know, when it comes to this kind of situation, it's like how much do I really give before I look stupid? And I think what you touched upon is, like you know, they are humans, like we're always going to be stepping on each other's toes, no matter what, and so take that out of the equation and just focus on the solution and whether it works or not. Don't take that as something personal about you.

Speaker 2: 20:24

Yep yeah you, you hit the nail on the head there, for sure so I mean, I've asked some tricky questions for the guys that I've had on the bonus episode, so I'm going to do the same to you, I'm going to bully you. What is something that you wish? Because I think this is a really great question, so maybe I'm just going to use a question for all the episodes, um, that you wish women knew about men that we haven't already touched upon.

Speaker 1: 20:51

I mean, are we assuming that everyone here knows that the way to a guy's heart is through his stomach? Like, because, again, you know like there is a lot of politics about this kind of stuff, about you know, like a man wants a woman to cook and clean. It's like, well, ok, if you both work and you have to share the loads, but you know, if hubby's had a stressful day at work and he, he comes back to a burger, or like you know some some wings or something. I mean it just it like straight, like he's not, he's gonna be fine. Like you know, he's gonna be happy and he's gonna be giving you happiness in return.

Speaker 1: 21:27

Um, I would definitely say, you know, um food, just it really hot food, especially that like, yeah, nothing beats that. Like, yeah, you just turn the whole water around and and I think this is again the problem is that people try to put lenses on stuff, and that's not just us, it's like the media, for example, um, the politics does that as well. Um, so like it's not you slaving away in the kitchen for him and he should do it in return as well, when you've had a bad day as well. Right, like you should be at this point where we've gone beyond all the lenses of, okay, what I do for you, you must do back in return. It's all transactional. If you've gotten rid of that and you've an actual relationship, yeah, I would definitely just say, uh, when he's had a bad day, just put some cheeky nuggets in the air fryer and uh, and you'll be fine. Like you know, um, but in actual how, how men work, I mean, obviously they are more logically driven, like it's kind of proven.

Speaker 1: 22:23

You're like men genuinely are, um, and I know me and my partner and we have uh disagreements, we'll call them disagreements, um, but when we do have like a bit of a bit of an argument, it tends to be around like we just have a different way of processing stuff, um, and again like I say so, the end result should be just trying to remove the the charged emotion out of it and then just kind of be like okay, we see shit differently, but like you see it like a math problem, and a lot of women do think that because we treat it like a math problem, we don't have any emotions, because we're not reacting emotionally. Y'all are like you don't even care about me because you're not reacting emotionally. It's like if we did, we'd be flying off the handle. But we control our emotions. It's not we're not emotional, it's just we control it. So we treat it like it's a bit of a math problem. Believe you me, we still have those emotions. That's why, you know, we're going to go to the gym on the boxing bag and take it all out on the bag rather than on you, um, you know, because we don't let our emotions come out, because you know we, we have to try and keep everything in control.

Speaker 1: 23:22

Men still typically have to be, you know, uh, a bit stable. They have to kind of have their shit together, right, they, we do. That means having to control our emotional outbursts. So if you want someone to react emotionally, if you want a man to react emotionally, then you have to admit that you're going to have a man who isn't, you know, in control of himself, and so it's like, what would you rather want? And? And so I think it's just what, yeah, like you can't have everything. It's like I want this kind of person, that kind of person, and it's going to be bad stuff that comes with each one again, chaos, um, and this goes into the problem that, you know, I was kind of going to talk about was like you can't have peace forever, but you just you can't always be living the good life, like it's a fairy tale. And it is just that a fairy tale. Um, you have to have those struggles, those times of chaos, because that's where you actually build.

Speaker 1: 24:14

We've been dating since the pandemic. We've had a recession since then. We've also had World War III kind of start with the Ukraine and stuff that high prices, your rent going through the roof, groceries going through the roof, all that kind of stuff, everyone kind of getting fired, having to navigate all that. It's been a bloody minefield the past four years. Right, so it's very dynamic. But when there are problems, that's when you go ah, that's a problem, let's fix it. If you keep doing that, then you build a real stable kind of future for yourselves. And that is people. They run at the first sign of struggle rather than being like, okay, we're going to get through this, this and you're better off afterwards for it.

Speaker 2: 24:56

Yes, yeah, I love um. You know, I love this whole theme really, because it just reminded me of Esther and Abraham Hicks. I don't know if you're familiar with their work, um, but you know, if you're not, definitely check them out. I think you would love them, you and um. But there's something they call contrast, which is the chaos that we're talking about, and I love they basically say the same thing. You know, life is all about contrast. There's something they call contrast, which is the chaos that we're talking about, and I love they basically say the same thing. You know, life is all about contrast. There's going to be the really highs and then there'll be the lows, but the lows are not necessarily negative. We're the ones, as human beings, that attribute that as negative because of all the ego that drives us. But you need both. You definitely need both.

Speaker 1: 25:37

Otherwise, are you actually living a real experience? I mean it, yeah, like that that's genuinely um part of life and that that's living. You know, like, if I was kind of, you're going to talk about how, like, if, if you have ups and downs, it's all it's, how'd you? I'm trying to think of how to get my words out here. Um, like, however much positive you have, you do get the negative, but at some point, like, energy always equals out in the end. Um, it's literally in the laws of physics, like that's how life works. Um, and again, you know, maybe we'll say well, you know, that billionaire has, uh, has, life pretty easy and it's like, well, at 11 o'clock at night, when he's lying in bed by himself, what's he thinking? You know, like do the demons correct the play? Then, like, maybe he's got his own struggles right. No one has life easy, no matter who you are.

Speaker 1: 26:26

But yeah, it's way more fun, you know, kind of living life and going through it. Like even if, say, for example, about like a year ago, we had somebody trying to be like hey, you know, we want you to like have this contract, otherwise we're going to get lawyers involved, and I was like this is going to be fun. It's a bit scary because you know you have to go to lawyers, you have to sort stuff out and kind of challenge somebody legally and everything, and that might be really daunting. And it was like you know, I'd still get an adrenaline rush Like I'm not invincible, I'll still be like, oh shit, this is scary, um, but at the same time it's like this is going to be an experience in a year's time I'm gonna be grateful for, and it would have been cool to have gone through that, like going to the bar after they have trying to, you know, put together a legal case against somebody, being like, oh, I've got a, got a drink after.

Speaker 1: 27:10

That was a fun day of trying to, you know, like, like, actually fight, kind of like maybe it's an experience. Um, so the bad, that's a bad thing that we talk about, and you can still make it an enjoyable experience, or less emotionally charged experience, I think, and that translates to the household as well yeah, I'm, I think piggy, piggy, piggy.

Speaker 2: 27:29

Well, it's not even just you, you and I think it's just in the air.

Speaker 2: 27:33

Yeah, um, just piggybacking off that.

Speaker 2: 27:36

What I'm taking from that and like perhaps the audience will resonate, is that again, I feel like society has a really big influence on this and just genuinely the things that we hear as women and the over glamorizing and just exasperation of how love is this separate experience to life and it has its own level of happiness.

Speaker 2: 28:00

Yes, I mean, love is very, very important, but it's one part of an entire piece of our lives. You know, it's one type of experience and I think, once we take it off not taking, not taking away how special it is, because that's something I everyone loves being in love, Like it's a wonderful feeling. It does push you to become the best version of yourself, but at the same time, if you balance your emotions around it and you see it as another life experience, then that's what's going to really help people see the contrast as something that okay, this is expected. I'm not doing this wrong, I'm not fucking it up. This is just part of the energy balance and I'm on track, regardless of whether this is um. You know an energy that's a quote-unquote positive or negative, you know um. So I think that's really valuable actually for people listening yeah, I'd say so yeah, so what?

Speaker 2: 28:51

what is something um that? If personally, if you were very honest, either you didn't understand about women or you still feel is a bit of a mystery about women?

Speaker 1: 29:02

um, I, I think men have been researching for hundreds of thousands of years what the word fine means. Um, like, yeah, it is the, the kryptonite to to men. Uh, it's fine, I'm like, well, this this could. Like we could get a whole encyclopedia on what fine means. You know, like it's just um, I think, you know, like, like our like, like food is. Like you're fine, like that's, that's we've got. We've got a different differences there. I just, I know, I think again, men being a bit more transactional, logical, it's just down to we'd like to know what's up, and that's just. It's like, why can't you just tell us what's up? Like we can shorten the war by five years, you know we'll save countless lives. Like, just tell us what's wrong, and we can. Why can't you just tell us what's wrong?

Speaker 2: 29:58

so I'm gonna. I'm gonna stand for, obviously not all women in the whole world, but from my own experience, sometimes we do tell you what's wrong. Not you, obviously, you and specifically, but in general, and a lot of women can definitely resonate with this we say what's wrong, we say what we want changed. There's an a common experience in the collective where a man will change his behavior for a short period and then revert back to what was you know not working and what we responded to as yeah, we're fine about that would be.

Speaker 2: 30:31

I think that would be the number one response if women could like. If this was live and women were responding, I was like we tell you what's wrong and you don't. Or you don't deliver at all, or you're like yeah, that's true, I'm gonna change that about myself. So I feel like the fine now comes from a place of experiences, that and I'm not saying this is a good thing that, um, women haven't forgiven and moved on from where that communication breakdown did exist and, to be safe, they're painting a lot of men with the same brush and saying, okay, even if I bother expressing myself, it's he's either not going to deliver, so it's taking like historical interactions and projecting that onto you know, like future interactions.

Speaker 1: 31:12

Yeah, oh dear, okay, yeah, I would?

Speaker 2: 31:14

I would. That's my and and I'm being very honest, like I've done that before as well like you're dealing with a particular kind of person. They're similar to someone you've been with before and, um, you know, your response is I'm fine, because you'd rather protect yourself. Yeah, um, so that's and I'm not saying that's a good thing, I'm not saying it was a good trait of mine or that's a good trait for women to have, but that is where it comes from. I think it's fear of the rejection if I actually, if I actually explain what's going on and give him the opportunity to deliver, and he doesn't. And also, I think, um, women are accustomed to the way that, particularly for someone who's an earth sun sign like yourself, to be very practical and very logical, um, they, they want you to relate to them about their issue on a more emotional level, and they feel like, if they're going to express themselves, they're going to get the practical solution version. Okay, and then again, as you were saying as

Speaker 1: 32:06

people heard so as a bit of a collective. So I've tried this before and I have a little bit of success here. There's a problem now. It's fine, don't talk about it if I then pop over the road to domino's and I come back with a couple of pizzas and some cookies like I I hey, look, look, food makes the whole world go round right, like it doesn't matter who you are.

Speaker 1: 32:29

Like a domino's pizza, the domino's pizza it's, it's always a treat. Um, I mean, it's not healthy, it's crap ingredients, yet like, I'm not saying it's the best food ever, but yeah, the cookies are really nice. Um, if I come back with a couple of pizza and cookies, like, and I just leave it to the gremlin and I could just like step back and watch the gremlin eat for half an hour and and then then she's calmed down, and then I'll say I'm not putting my part of gremlin, I'm just saying like you've got one who's like a bit, a bit annoyed and you'll be like good, um, here's a pizza, some cookies. Uh, within half an hour I can normally ask that question again and I'll get an answer. Um, so I kind of found a way around it.

Speaker 2: 33:11

I love, I love how you disrupt the energy, though I think that's that's the common theme, I think and how you do, you know, just bridge that gap between no communication to actually finding a solution. It sounds, which I think is needed and I think a lot of women really desire actually. So, like my last question to wrap up would be what are some of the green flags for women listening now to find someone who does that in a relationship or who does that in the dating phase, who's you know, solution focused and, um, you know, wants to disrupt the, the conflict, not in a manipulative way, but in a way where their emotional maturity is really shining through?

Speaker 1: 33:46

I mean I was just gonna say, like that kind of solution to the whole fine thing, like that I mean I do it. I'm not so I can't really say it's a good trait to have, because I don't be talking about myself and then my head's gonna go like this, um, but like, fine, so we can do that, like somebody who can just be like okay, you've just called me every word under the fucking sun. Um, I'm gonna get you some pizza, like because, again, men have fragile egos as well, like we all have fragile egos, we'll have faces that we wear, etc. And so you know the.

Speaker 1: 34:17

The logical response was anybody apart from your partner. If they're giving you you've given it large kind of thing like, why would you then go get them pizza like? But in this situation it's like okay, I care about you, so I'm going to come back with some goodies here, you are Okay, now we can have a conversation. And I mean, if they don't do that, maybe they haven't experienced that kind of relationship before. So tell them that. You know that's just mention cheek, be like that's a good way to resolve, you know, comfort.

Speaker 2: 34:44

And she could be like that's a good way to resolve, you know, conflict and just see if they do it.

Speaker 1: 34:48

I like that Just because by doing that you're taking a bit of a knee, but it's worth it and it's just. Can you as a man kind of process that that's the way to treat like your woman? And if not, then well, just, you know, press the big red button and go. You know you're fired and on to the next one. But, um, yeah, I'd say this is all kind of stuff that you kind of want to do before uh, you kind of you know um, don't, don't give that away too easily, like it.

Speaker 1: 35:17

But it just yeah, like try and try and get the ground well set and just uh, yeah, and then just make sure that that's the person that you think you can kind of progress with. I think we do cheapen relationships in society nowadays and again they say, ok, if he gives you a problem, that's it, just off, you go. So, yeah, well, let's stick it out for five minutes. First, like, as we just mentioned, you're supposed to face challenges in life and you do that together. Like I said, we have weathered a lot of stuff and we're still here. You take turns on together, even House of Cards, the really good series right?

Speaker 2: 35:53

No, I never. I started and I never finished it Silent.

Speaker 1: 35:57

It's good, apart from you know, obviously, the whole Kevin Spacey stuff kind of came out. But long story short, he's president and they're kind of like he just became president, right, and they're having their cigarette at the window, so he goes. Do you remember when I was running for my first ever campaign and we were sleeping on a mattress on the floor in a studio? And now we're here. It's like that's what you want to have and that requires support and that's what I was going to draw on this call, actually on this podcast, was like support doesn't mean, let's say, cooking and cleaning and both of us should support.

Speaker 1: 36:27

It comes in different forms at different times. Like a man might have like a business going really well and then they're going to go through some hard times and then you're all going to step up and then you've got some problems. He's going to put that on the backbone and you just you support. But there are, if you look at any super duper successful person like you know, the mus, and and there's like a bergs, like um, people like that like they went through some tough times with their partner and that's why they're musk not, but zuckerberg is. That's why they're still together, it's because you, you've gone through that shit and that makes you invulnerable.

Speaker 1: 36:57

Like if you go through chaos together, like like, like it's called, it's called trauma bonding, right, like it literally kind of binds you together. It's like, okay, we've done this together, we can do anything else. So just don't run away from the first sign of trouble. When there is a problem, whether it's between yourselves or with just the situation in general, um, they just fight it together and you'll be stronger as a result. What doesn't make you stronger?

Speaker 2: 37:20

right, like, yeah, the island storm, find, find that yes, because there, you know, there are a lot of women listening. I'm not picking on anyone in particular, but it is that they're very successful and it is quick to dismiss people, dismiss situations, and I just love how you've just really normalized this idea of conflict or contrast in this conversation and embraced it. I think that's really um, that's going to give a lot of people a lot of breakthroughs. I'm really excited for people to hear this and, um, yeah, just get the insight to go back into the dating world with another notch in their, in their dating strategy, which is a little bit different from the way a lot of women are operating now and hopefully it really yields a lot of good results and they get a ewan. Yeah, so you know, where can everybody find you? Um, I mean, like I said, ladies, unfortunately ewan is not on the market, but you feel free to approach him. Maybe you found something really insightful about this episode or you're just curious about his business. Where can people find you ewan? On the internet?

Speaker 1: 38:26

um, I mean you could just google my name e where can people find you on the internet? I mean you could just google my name, ewan Moran, and you'll get like like LinkedIn, instagram, twitter will all just like come up there. So yeah, whatever you want, just type my name into google.

Speaker 2: 38:46

Yeah, awesome, all right, thank you, thank you.