Can Only Avoidant People Thrive in a Long Distance Relationship?

Can love truly thrive across miles and time zones?

This episode is a heartfelt exploration into the world of long-distance relationships, where I, drawing from my own journey and the wisdom of relationship coach Matthew Hussey, tackle the question head-on.

I'll reveal how, contrary to popular belief, distance you can foster a deep and fulfilling connection when rooted in shared values, effective communication, and a profound understanding of each other's love languages.

Plus, I'll share a slice of my personal life, discussing how my Venus in Scorpio plays a role in my relationships, adding an astrological twist to the conversation. Unpack the mysteries of love's endurance with us, and discover if a Love Compatibility Report, a blend of astrology and numerology, could be the secret map to your heart's desires.

Venturing further, we examine the fascinating synergy between love and prosperity, guided by the influence of Venus over our hearts and finances. I illuminate how choosing a partner who champions your personal growth can amplify your life's abundance, enriching not only your heart but your wallet too. The episode offers an in-depth look at how a Love Compatibility Report can serve as a compass, directing your romantic decisions to align with your true self and life's ambitions. We're setting the stage for a romantic life that enriches every facet of your existence, empowering you to make choices that resonate with your core and elevate your confidence. Tune in and learn how to navigate the waters of love and wealth with grace and intent.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Did I give it away? Or was it a persuasion? You are in my space, I I, oh wait, I don't care what you say, I'm loving it this way. I'm hoping that you stay. I I, oh wait, you're talking me to waste. Was it a persuasion? You are in my space, I I, oh wait, I don't care what you say, I'm loving it this way. I'm hoping that you stay. I I, oh wait. We're going to be talking about whether anyone can really be happy in a long distance relationship.

Speaker 1: 0:51

Now this has come off the back of me being on youtube. Sometimes you find yourself on the weird sides of youtube and, ironically, a fellow relationship coach, matthew hussey I'm sure a lot of you are very well aware of who he is he starts talking about long distance relationships. Now you know, I don't know Matthew Hussey personally. I think some of his work is really great, if you want my personal opinion, but there are some things that I do think are I wouldn't necessarily agree. Let's say that politely I wouldn't necessarily agree with. But you know, as relationship coaches in this industry, we all have our own spin on things and you know what his one point of view is completely different from everybody else's, and each person has their own thing based on their own experience. So let me dive into this. So he was talking about. You know, know the fact that in long distance relationships they are more likely to be something that someone with an avoidant attachment style is more likely to want, and he's got a really good point there.

Speaker 1: 1:57

I do believe that to a certain extent, I think there are definitely benefits if you have an avoidant attachment style. You know, in whatever kind of variety of avoidant attachment style you have, where a long distance relationship is appealing, you know, you do get that essence of being in someone else's life without that real sense of intimacy. You don't have to deal with them on a daily basis and you can always use that distance as this way of making sure that you don't get too close, making sure that your own traumas that you're still working on or have yet to work on are triggered. In that way, without completely losing out, without going through life without having that person, it's almost like you are benefiting a lot more than the idea of the person, their physical presence in your life. Fair enough, no judgment there. It is what. It is okay.

Speaker 1: 2:50

But what I find from that video that I watched? I just feel like he is so anti-long distance relationship and I personally I'm not anti. You know, I've had two long distance relationships. I think they can be very fulfilling, depending on what kind of woman you are. If you are an entrepreneur who deals with a lot of international women all over the world, like myself, then you will know that time is so precious and when you do have a long distance relationship, it does afford you that space in order for you to really sit in your purpose.

Speaker 1: 3:18

I think the key thing with long distance relationships is not necessarily you know what a lot of people think in terms of oh okay, it's long distance and how could it ever work out because you're not together every single day. I think, in my personal opinion and my experience with my clients and my experience in my own personal life, what matters is your shared values. What matters is your shared ability to communicate in a way that makes sense to each other. What matters is both of you understanding your love languages but, above all, what's really helped me in terms of long distance relationships and making particularly my last one feel you know juicy and really feel like, regardless of where they are, like anytime I'd said like, oh, you know what you know. He lives in another country. It didn't feel for me like a huge thing, right, because you know what you've got in your relationship, you know the special bond.

Speaker 1: 4:10

And what's really interesting, I think, is people will get into these situations quite blindly without really knowing what is good for them on a soul level. So how did I get to know what was good for me on a soul level? What I used is something that I've now combined into what I offer called a love compatibility report. It's a mixture of astrology and numerology and from years and I'm talking like over a decade right of me learning astrology, learning about numerology and how that all works for me, and learning about my chart inside out and revisiting it. That's a really good point. You will be like, if you want to be an expert in your own life and your own life path as much as you possibly can, you want to be an expert in your own life and your own life path as much as you possibly can you need to revisit the blueprint of who you are as much as possible, as much as for a practical level, as much as an energetic level.

Speaker 1: 4:59

So I'll give you an example my Venus is in Scorpio. That's a very intense placement. It's so intense. You know, me and Beyonce have the same Venus placement and it means that on paper and in theory, we can't do short term. We technically can't do long distance like. We are the kind of people that we're all in or we're all out. You know there's no medium. When we have friends, for example, we love them to death. Or we can't understand if someone just wants a superficial kind of relationship, right, when it comes to friends with benefits, we don't really last long in a situation before our soul gets irritated and we're like okay, so wherever, as the Americans say, like you pee or you get off the pot, something similar like that. That's what a Venus in Scorpio placement feels like.

Speaker 1: 5:42

However, because I know my chart so well, my rising sign is in Gemini, which is an air sign, right, and my moon is in Aries. So, moon, if you are a Lunarian Aries, like raise your hand, because you know for sure that you really hold that strong Aries energy of being very independent. You know, you're the kind of person who can just get on a plane, book it, have a whole holiday experience, come back with 10 friends and it's totally fine. You're completely reliant on yourself, right, and my Gemini rising just really helps me because my, my um son is in Virgo, which is all rule-based and you know. But that Gemini rising really softens that up.

Speaker 1: 6:24

So knowing what my combination is and what makes me me means that when it comes to questions of, can a long distance relationship be for me? I'm very clear on that. I'm very, very clear on the kind of person that I could be with successfully in that dynamic. I'm very clear on what won't work for me, for example, if we get into the grits of it. You know, I know, because there's so much earth influence in my chart. I couldn't possibly be with someone with so much air in their chart that it's just like whoa, whoa, what are we the entire time, or that every time we speak to each other it almost feels like we're starting from scratch.

Speaker 1: 6:58

Now, if you want to be in a position where you know what's good for you, right, you won't even be in a place where you know you may find the pressure. You may find the pressure and say, hey, there's not enough of the quality I'm looking for in my home city. Maybe I should consider long distance. Go to your chart and not just your chart like that you could just get off the internet, like the love compatibility report, is what you need, honestly. This is what's going to take you from just going through love blind to really knowing exactly what's going to fit for you, not only now, not only for the person that you've been born as like what you've taken through your childhood, but also the person that you're becoming. We need to think 360. We're not thinking, oh, what's just good for now. We're thinking about, right, who is the kind of person who's really going to support me in my soul's growth? Because, remember, as I've said in you know so much of my teachings.

Speaker 1: 7:49

Relationship, yes, is one pie. It's a really beautiful, important piece of the pie, but if we don't get that part right, then it does affect the rest of the cake. Can you imagine cooking a beautiful chocolate cake and you've got this stinky like Victoria sponge that's like 10 days old, and you've just put that sponge cake in there because you didn't want the cake to be empty? No, we want the whole cake to be quality, with quality ingredients and to mesh well with each other. We want the ingredients to blend into each other so that the whole piece, the whole piece of the cake being you and what you're here to do is chef's kiss perfection.

Speaker 1: 8:27

So if you're hearing this and you're thinking, ok, you know, maybe you've had an astrology chart that maybe you've downloaded somewhere. That's all great. But just know that all of the ones that you're getting from the internet, they are not done by a relationship coach with as much experience as I have. They're not done with that lens of practicality, the psychology background and really focusing on what is going to be great for your soul's growth. So that is why, honestly, this will be the best investment that you make in 2024 for yourself.

Speaker 1: 8:58

If you head to the link in my bio, you will find my link that says work with me and you just select love compatibility report. And if you're a little bit like, okay, do you know what, before I dive in and I invest in this, I believe the price should just be on there. If not, just DM me and I can tell you what it is. But you can always oh, why have I got fireworks? What's going on? I don't know if you guys saw that, but there were randomly fireworks. Did someone do that for me? I don't know. Anyway, very random. So, anyway, if you're thinking, okay, you know this sounds intriguing. I want to know more than. Okay. Maybe you don't invest straight away and maybe just jump on a soulmate strategy call where I can tell you exactly what to expect.

Speaker 1: 9:37

In this report, you know, it's not just about what's in it for you in terms of love, but it's also about how much abundance you attract. Remember that venus is the planet for both love and wealth. We know that they're both intrinsically connected and when we are not doing well in one area, like normally, it will have a knock-on effect on the other. So this is really important. Stuff like this is not just superficial. I want to find a boyfriend this year, and that's that. This is. I want to find a partner, or I want to start dating people who are way more in alignment for me, so that I can rise in myself like that's an area of my life I already know has been taken care of, and with this report, you've got this forever. Right. You've got this forever.

Speaker 1: 10:15

You can get it in video form and audio form, and a lot of my clients will tell you, the more you listen to this video or audio, the new insight you get is just crazy.

Speaker 1: 10:24

It's almost like you're getting a new audio every single time.

Speaker 1: 10:28

So if you're done with guessing, if you just want to know point blank, like, what kind of man is going to be good for you, what kind of man that you need to stop wasting your time on whatsoever, regardless of how nice they are, regardless of how consistent they are, then you need to head to the link of my bio, as I mentioned, get yourself a love compatibility report and just demystify this, because we know that life is busy enough, right, like you've already got other goals way more higher on your list, and so what would life be like if you knew that this could just be done on autopilot, like just knowing what your foundations of real love is going to look like for you?

Speaker 1: 11:03

You know what is authentic love going to look like for you in terms of what you should be allowing in. You know what should you even be giving your energy to? Wouldn't it be like what could be possible for you if that part of dating was just completely done? Do you know the shifts that you'd already start to make? The second that you start fine-tuning that, because you automatically send a vibration of yes, actually I know exactly what. Know exactly what I want, not based on what my friends want, not based on what I think I should want for myself, but based on what is definitely good for me on a blueprint level. So I will leave you, ladies, with that, and I cannot wait to'm hoping that you stay. I'm in a few minutes, you.