Have you ever found yourself questioning if the person you’re with is truly your match in the grand scheme of things?
This episode isn't just about the highs and lows of romantic endeavors; it's a profound look at ensuring your significant other fits snugly into the puzzle that is your life. I kick things off with a quirky tale of my latest hair treatment gone awry – yes, involving a plastic bag – to set the stage for a deeper conversation about love, compatibility, and shared values.
Reflecting on a friend's recent breakup, I draw on my own trove of experiences, inviting you to take a step back and ponder whether your partner’s ideals and actions resonate with your own, especially in the face of life's more significant challenges like parenting or health crises.
As our time together nears its end, I couldn't leave without sharing one of my less glamorous moments – a battle scar from my hair straightener, to be precise. With vulnerability and a touch of humor, I reach out for your tips and solidarity in navigating beauty faux pas. Beyond my personal anecdotes, it's your stories, engagement, and heartfelt exchanges that have made this journey so rewarding. I extend an invite to continue our conversation beyond the podcast - why not come along to my next in-person event in London?
Have you ever found yourself questioning if the person you’re with is truly your match in the grand scheme of things?
This episode isn't just about the highs and lows of romantic endeavors; it's a profound look at ensuring your significant other fits snugly into the puzzle that is your life. I kick things off with a quirky tale of my latest hair treatment gone awry – yes, involving a plastic bag – to set the stage for a deeper conversation about love, compatibility, and shared values.
Reflecting on a friend's recent breakup, I draw on my own trove of experiences, inviting you to take a step back and ponder whether your partner’s ideals and actions resonate with your own, especially in the face of life's more significant challenges like parenting or health crises.
As our time together nears its end, I couldn't leave without sharing one of my less glamorous moments – a battle scar from my hair straightener, to be precise. With vulnerability and a touch of humor, I reach out for your tips and solidarity in navigating beauty faux pas. Beyond my personal anecdotes, it's your stories, engagement, and heartfelt exchanges that have made this journey so rewarding. I extend an invite to continue our conversation beyond the podcast - why not come along to my next in-person event in London?
Did I give it away? Or was it a persuasion? You are in my space, I, I, oh wait. I don't care what you say, I'm loving it this way. I'm hoping that you stay. I, I, oh wait. You told me to wait. Or was it a persuasion? You are in my space, I I, oh wait. I don't care what you say, I'm loving it this way. I'm hoping that you stay. I, I, oh wait.
Speaker 1:
So we're going to kick off first of all by explaining why there is a plastic bag on my head right now. So I'm doing a really deep condition with a Coco and Eve moisturizer. It's like a hair mask Highly recommend, good for everybody's hair type. So that's that. But what we are here to talk about is not my hair and what my hair situation is. We're here to talk about whether the person that you're seeing is truly fit for purpose.
Speaker 1:
Now, what does that even mean? Fit for purpose means is the person that you're seeing or is the person that you started a new relationship with or you're in a relationship with for a significant time? Are they fit for the purpose that you're setting out to fulfill? This purpose can be very different not everybody's into marriage, and you have the right to not be for marriage totally your choice. And there are other people that want to just be someone's girlfriend, which is great, just their partner, without the marital status, whatever it is, or even if it's even not. Either of those, maybe you don't want any kind of conventional title, maybe you just want to be seeing that person and there is maybe physical benefits involved. Whatever it is, whatever the purpose is that you want to come out of your interaction, your relationship with that person. Is that person fit for that purpose?
Speaker 1:
Now, this conversation came up because I had a really good chat with someone that I've met recently. He's a lovely, lovely guy and he was just talking about his own breakup and I could just really see how the universe had placed us in the same part of our social group together at that particular moment, because I was basically I was in his situation one year from where he is now, because it's just a fresh, fresh breakup for him right now. And I was the other person right Because he was the one who had been left or ex-partner that I was going to marry. What my reasons were, you know heavily emphasizing the fact that I needed to sit a lot more in my feminine and that it was very much turning into something that would not allow that. It was one of the key things and I did mention as well, you know, the fact that someone could be an amazing boyfriend, like that ex-partner that I was going to marry was such a good boyfriend, but not necessarily husband material, not in the way that I envisioned myself being in a marriage, right, which doesn't mean actually let me yeah, let's say that not in the way that I personally would envision being in a marriage. Maybe he's still a husband material, but just not for me.
Speaker 1:
You know, and I wish him all the best if he is watching this but, um, you've got to make sure that the person that you're investing your time in and the person that you are speaking to and you're pouring all of this energy into because we know that our energy is so limited on a daily basis like we, it would be great if we could just date everyone and have relationships with everybody, but how exhausting, like that's what makes me not laugh, haha, laughing at you, but just like, haha, whoa, how do they deal with it? Anyone who, uh, is pro polyamory, I just say, wow, you know. Good for you if you've got the energy for more than one relationship, um, but my point being is that, yeah, whoever you're seeing or whoever you're in a fresh or long-term relationship with, just make sure they're fit for purpose in the way that you're looking at them from a 360 point of view. Think about them in a whole different kind of scenarios. You know, are they really going to be the kind of person who are going to do well and amongst all of your friends, you know, do they really understand you as a person? Do they understand your culture? You know, how do they react in settings where someone brings up a political topic? Right, there's so many hot topics in politics right now. Um, you know, I won't even go into them. You guys I'm sure are already aware of those, but how do they, how do they deal with things? You know? You know. You know, are they sensitive enough to not mention certain things at a certain time? Are they sensitive enough to maybe look after you when you're poorly but we say poorly in the UK, like when you've got the sniffles, you've got the flu, but are they going to be there for you when you're, like, critically ill? You know, maybe you won't even know that answer yet, but you will know from their behaviors, their values, you'll start to get an inkling for that person.
Speaker 1:
You know if, someone who could be a great boyfriend. I'll give you another example. You know they may already have children, for example, may already have children, but the way in which they left their partner, who had the children for them, is something that doesn't sit right with your values. Is that person for you A question for anyone listening who that really resonates with Is that person for you? Could you consider them husband material? Um? What about boyfriend material? Like, how does that sit with you? Are you okay with that? Um? So those are the things that you really need to think about.
Speaker 1:
I think it can be very easy when you are meeting people to get particularly if you've been single for quite a while, to kind of oversee a lot of these things, because you've met someone who is emotionally available, you've met someone who's got a good job. You've met someone who also wants to date for a serious, long-term commitment. They're you know your height, your desired height. You know they look good, they smell good, they're kind, they're consistent, and sometimes it can just feel like, ah, it doesn't matter, and you don't tune into your intuition, you don't tune into the questions of oh you know, are those his values? Like how would that sit if we were in a boyfriend girlfriend relationship? How would that sit if we were husband and wife? Is that in alignment with the purpose? I foresee this going in.
Speaker 1:
And no, you're not always going to know off the bat if someone is going to be a husband or your boyfriend, but you definitely know off the bat what it is that your soul's calling for at this point of your life, wherever it is that you are, and so being true to that will really help you save time. It will really, as a result, be in your energy, be in your vibration. There will be people that unmatch you because, for example, if you're going into the dating scene swiping and knowing that you want a husband, they will pick that up. These people that are not into that, they're more inconsistent, they've got different relationship goals. So pick up on that and unmatch, and it would be a blessing for both of you. You know you don't have to deal with either of each other because you're not in alignment. You're not an energetic alignment. You were in physical attraction alignment, but that died as soon as they picked up on a different energy. And or maybe you're the one who unmatched. So this live is all about you just tuning into your intuition and making sure that you've got that lens, you've got that analytical brain working, you're not getting swooped up in hormones, you're not getting too swooped up in the energetics, but you're finding that balance between the practicality and also enjoying the experience.
Speaker 1:
Now, this takes practice, it takes time and genuinely the best way to deal with this is through something that I offer, which is private coaching. But I have two different types of private coaching. There's private coaching where it's genuinely private coaching. You're coming to each session. We're looking at this type of thing right, and we're really knuckling down on how it is that you can fine tune this so that this just becomes second nature. It just becomes very easy to understand what your purpose is and very clearly see, when you're seeing people, whether they are in alignment of what it is that your purpose is and how much that sits with you and sits with what you want to achieve.
Speaker 1:
But, as I said, there's two types of private coaching. So there's that, there's the private sessions, but there's also private sessions and the added Voxer messaging that I give to anyone who's in a six to 12 month container with myself. Now, that is the most genius thing, because we're not only getting that in-depth coaching for you on those one-to-one sessions, but with the Voxer. Voxer is like WhatsApp, guys, if you've never heard of it. Voxer messaging is basically me as your best friend or your secret weapon in your pocket. You take me on the dates. In fact, I literally schedule my time so that I am available for you during your date, so that you can instant message, you can send me voice notes and I can be there to support you with any questions that you have.
Speaker 1:
That is something very unique that I have not seen a lot of relationship coaches offer, and that is because you don't know what you know, or you don't sometimes even know what you want or what is a possible challenge, until you are face to face with it, literally across the table from it, and it's like oh, sugar, like. Imagine being in that kind of situation where, yes, you've got a private coach, but you're having to wait like a week because you've got to wait for your next session, you know? Or at the most, maybe you can message your coach, for example, outside of hours, but you've still got to wait for them to reply. Like how many coaches do you know are going to tell you that they're going to block out the time that you're on a date, so they are on call for you. So if that rings so many delicious bells for you and you're thinking right, I really want to hone this in number one.
Speaker 1:
I want to be able to make sure people that I'm going and spending time with and spending the time getting to know that they are going to be in as much in alignment as possible with what my purpose is, whether that's marriage, long-term boyfriend or just having a consistent physical relationship with someone where you know there's this and I'm all for any of these. Right, those physical relationships you can have those, have someone you go to dinner with, but you don't necessarily have the commitment. Whatever it is that your purpose is and what your relationship goal is, wouldn't it be just so beautiful if you had someone like myself in your pocket, giving you the support that you need and just really helping you get so solid and grounded in what it is that you're looking for and, I think, most importantly, reminding you of your worth, reminding you of why you're here, to do what you want to do. Sometimes, like I said, we can get so caught up in the beauty of someone. You know their energy, their, the physical attraction and the spark the banter, as we say in the UK and having me in your corner to just ground, you ask you the important questions so that you can then also activate.
Speaker 1:
The practical side is going to be what's going to take you from looking through Instagram and hoping that it's going to be your turn next time for it being your turn. So how do you get on board with this? I think the best route for you, if this really resonates, is to head to my bio, where you can book yourself a free soulmate strategy call and we can talk about this in a lot more detail. So we're not only looking at what's not working so far. Maybe this is a really key thing for you. That's not working right. You're picking up people who, like you, spend months, maybe even years, and you get to the point where it's like, okay, I want to transition them into this new type of dynamic and they're falling short. It's like, okay, so what could I have picked up before maybe sometimes years ago, sometimes months ago, sometimes weeks ago that I could pick up now, way in advance and save myself time on link in the bio.
Speaker 1:
I would love to see you and, yes, I'm going to be keeping this on for the rest of the day. Um, coco and eve, oh god, guys, before I sign off, please look at this awful scar. It's showing no signs of slowing down. I burnt myself with straightness and it's just horrific. Um, but, yes, book yourself a soulmate strategy, call and then drop me a comment if you have any suggestions. My straightness guy, please, loves, show me some mercy. I will love and leave you for now. Love you, guys, you, you.