Hey there, friends! In this episode, I had a wonderful time sharing some heartfelt advice on how to chat with missionaries in a way that really counts. I can't stress enough how powerful a moment of silence can be after you ask a question—it gives space for thoughtful answers. Plus, I share some questions I use that can really get the conversation flowing. Remember, it's all about being there in the moment, listening intently, and asking open-ended questions with a genuine spirit of curiosity. No hidden agendas, just pure, open-hearted dialogue. And don't forget to keep an eye on your own reactions; it's all part of keeping the conversation comfy and honest. Hope these tips help you connect more deeply with the missionaries in your life!
Share your missionary stories where you agree to allow me to share them: michellesevans.coach@gmail.com
Hey there, friends! In this episode, I had a wonderful time sharing some heartfelt advice on how to chat with missionaries in a way that really counts. I can't stress enough how powerful a moment of silence can be after you ask a question—it gives space for thoughtful answers. Plus, I share some questions I use that can really get the conversation flowing. Remember, it's all about being there in the moment, listening intently, and asking open-ended questions with a genuine spirit of curiosity. No hidden agendas, just pure, open-hearted dialogue. And don't forget to keep an eye on your own reactions; it's all part of keeping the conversation comfy and honest. Hope these tips help you connect more deeply with the missionaries in your life!
Share your missionary stories where you agree to allow me to share them: michellesevans.coach@gmail.com
Hello and welcome to the podcast. Have you ever found yourself having a conversation with your missionary and there's just kind of a lull and you don't really know what to talk about or you run out of things to talk about. Having meaningful conversations. Is something that sometimes takes a little bit of practice. And so when you're having a conversation with your missionary, there is actually three conversations taking place. There's the one that is happening verbally. Out loud between the two of you. There's one happening inside of your brain. That's with yourself and there's. The story that's going on inside of your missionaries brain? In his thoughts or her thoughts as well. The conversation that happening inside of your brain sometimes is coming up with things to say like or things to say that, keep the conversation going. Because it can start to feel kind of uncomfortable if there is a lull. So I taught primary a bunch of times with my husband. And one time I, my husband pointed out. That I would ask a question. And then letting them sit there in silence and think about it. I would hurry in, jump in and answer it. And since he's pointed this out, it's something that I've noticed. Happens quite often, even in the adult classes and Sunday school. Released society. I imagine it happens also in. Elders quorum. So. We want to fill in the void because of our own discomfort. So something that I want you to try and just to practice. Is when you ask your missionary a question. Allow there to be some silence so they can think about the question. And sometimes they may ask you to repeat the question, but this also gives them an opportunity to really organize some of their thoughts. And to kind of get them. Put together in a way that makes more sense. So it's like bringing them out of their brain. And ma verbalizing them. And it also helps solidify. Once they verbalize it helps solidify. Some ideas. And have you ever noticed that when you're talking to someone that they start sharing a story that's similar. So this isn't a bad thing. But it means that while you're listening, To what's being said, your brain is also busy thinking of how to respond. So then you're just not quite as present as you can be. So once a month, there's a group of us missionary moms that get together and we have lunch. And we share stories about our missionaries and how they're doing, and they're serving all over in different places of the world. And the country. And so some of them are hysterical and we've had such a fun time catching up and hearing about. The different experiences that they're all having, but I noticed. Recently that when one of them is talking, my brain really wants to come up with things to say, to contribute. And so it's about being able to kind of shelf that. And. To be fully present to what anybody's saying, not just our missionary, but in this instance, The mom that was talking. And. Just allowing myself some of that discomfort of like, I don't always have to jump in and say something. And. What that shows is that sometimes my brain isn't actually listening to them because it's so busy formulating something else. And so the second practice is. Being able to be. Present and listen without having. The conversation or the thoughts in your brain start taking over. So Writing down some really good questions that can help to stimulate the conversation. And so I. I'm going to include in the show notes. Some of my favorite questions that you, that you can just use to help you formulate some questions to have kind of on hand as needed. And sometimes you don't need these. But sometimes it's really helpful to have something. So these are some of the ones that I. Have that I have asked what is something that you didn't see coming about? A mission? What is your favorite thing about your companion? And this is a really good question, especially if they're struggling with their companion because their brain is working really hard to find evidence about how difficult the companion is. So if you're asking them what their favorite thing is about their companion. Then their brain will get busy thinking of some positive things. What's something you've learned this week while studying. I always find it. Very fascinating. Fascinating. What my, my missionary is studying and what. Meaning he is assigning to the things he's studying. How do you hear the spirit? Because being on a mission. You know, really gives them an opportunity to kind of fine tune and find the radio station. If you will. That the spirit communicates with them and it's different for everybody. So just being open to hearing about their experience. Was the most interesting thing you've learned from your mission president? What is different. About you from six months ago. And this is just an opportunity for them to reflect and kind of see where they're they have seen some growth. And. None of it is bad. Like what they were six months ago is totally fine. What we're looking for is just kind of like what growth is happening. How can I be supportive? So everybody's heard probably of the five love languages. This goes really hand in hand with how to show up for our kids. And they might have specific needs. Or ways that they want to be supportive. And if they can vocalize that in a really safe conversation. Then it gives you an opportunity to decide if that's something first that you want to do. And then second. Being able to like deepen that relationship a little bit. What's something that you've learned to cook. Okay. I find this hysterical because some of the kids that I've sent off on missions are better cooks than others. And so the ones that aren't as good at cooks they've picked things up along the way and I always find it. So funny and, and just so eyeopening what they have learned to cook. What's something that you've learned that you like to eat, that you used to dislike? So, you know, a lot of times when kids are growing up they're kind of picky. They can be picky. And so. This is more like They're kind of developing a different palette, especially if they're in a different country and there they have a different culture. And, you know, different things that they're eating. So. Those are really great questions. How do you like to meet people? Because then people love knocking doors. Some people like street contacting. So like, how is, what is your missionaries favorite way to meet people? How has your view different? About Christ than it was a year ago. And that really opens up can be a very in-depth conversation. Who has emailed you that surprised you? How do you use the scriptures to help people that you're teaching? And is your reason for serving a mission the same now as it was when you left. So while you formulate your own questions. Something to consider is not formulating them in a way that leads to an answer that you're wanting to hear. You want to be very, very clear that you do not have a gen an any sort of an agenda. That this is all coming from genuine curiosity and our missionaries can really feel that. And they know. If we ha if there's like energetically something underneath, like, you know, when people are kind of fishing for compliments, They can kind of set. I mean, our missionaries can certainly sense that as well. So just being aware. And making sure that when you're asking a question, when you write it down, just check with yourself, like, am I looking for something here? And is there an underlying. Agenda. Otherwise we just want to make sure we keep that very clean. And then the other thing that your brain is going to do is going to make some of those answers about you. So be very aware of like what's happening in your body. If your nervous system what's going on, if you start. To get activated. Buy something they say, or you start to maybe get a little defensive about something. They say. This is going to shut the conversation down and the con and the communication. We'll kind of get weird and maybe a little funky. So, if you can see yourself and you can see there's something going on inside of you. Try and table that until after the conversation is over so that you. can look at it and you have time to address it in a space. That doesn't involve your missionary because whatever's happening inside of you has nothing to do with them. So just try and keep that very, very clean. And so you can stay in curiosity. And we're epically, epically good at finding mom guilt in some of the things that our kids say. So then we start to beat ourselves up and we're like, oh no, I should have taught them more. I should have done this better. But also just remember that their answers are not about you. And it's. Not something that you need to take personal. But you're just having an open conversation that feels safe for both of you. So I have really great conversations with some of the people in my life. So one of them is with one of my brothers. And. He asks a lot of clarifying questions. And he doesn't take offense to some of my answers. And it just helps our converse. Conversations. Go in away that is. Just born of curiosity. And when we're curious, and then we're full of love for them. Then it stays in a really healthy space. And that really helps. I keep our. Relationships on a really. Deep level, and we can really. deepen some of those relationships while our missionary is serving. All right. You guys. those are the two practices I have for you today. So that remember the first one. When you ask your missionary a question, make sure you allow there. there. to be some silence. And let them think before jumping in and just filling the void. And the second one is to ask really good questions. So have some on hand for your. Conversations so that if there is a lull in the conversation, You've got something you can turn to. Two. Really help stimulate the conversation with no agenda. All right, you guys, we will talk to you next week. I hope you guys have a wonderful week. Bye bye now.
