In this heartfelt episode, we tackle one of the most challenging aspects of having a missionary child in the field: homesickness. We explore homesickness and why it happens and provide practical strategies to support your missionary and yourself through this emotional rollercoaster. Tune in for personal stories, expert advice, and comforting insights to help you and your missionary navigate this common experience.
Share your missionary stories where you agree to allow me to share them: michellesevans.coach@gmail.com
In this heartfelt episode, we tackle one of the most challenging aspects of having a missionary child in the field: homesickness. We explore homesickness and why it happens and provide practical strategies to support your missionary and yourself through this emotional rollercoaster. Tune in for personal stories, expert advice, and comforting insights to help you and your missionary navigate this common experience.
Share your missionary stories where you agree to allow me to share them: michellesevans.coach@gmail.com
You know, when you get a call from your missionary and they're home sick and they be maybe crying and then you're crying and it feels like a really big roller coaster for both of you. So today on this episode, we're going to be talking about home sickness. How to support them and also how to support yourself. So what exactly is homesickness? It is this deep longing for something familiar. And the comfort of home. It's also the emotional response to being away from loved ones and their surroundings that were familiar with. And for our missionaries, this can mean missing family. Members family traditions, home cooked meals. Or even just the comfort of their own bed. There's not really a timeline of when or why it's going to occur. Your missionary could be out two weeks, two days, 10 months, or even 18 months when they start to feel homesick. Homesickness is completely normal. Especially for young missionaries who might be away. From home for the first time. So they're just consider they're in a new environment. Often they're learning a new language and culture. And they have the responsibility of missionary work. Which can be overwhelming. And. As moms, we may feel a range of emotions. When our children, children experience homesickness, we might start feeling worried about their wellbeing, wellbeing. Guilty that they're struggling. That we even sent them out or even helpless because we can't physically be there to comfort them. So it's really important to acknowledge all of these feelings and emotions and understand that it's okay to feel this way. And if you haven't run into homesickness yet. The chances are that it's probably going to show up at some point. So just being aware. And knowing so that when it does show up, it's not S. A surprise. I want to share a few stories, one from my own son and one from another mom that I spoke with recently. So my son had been out on his mission about nine months. And on one of his calls, he mentioned that being on his mission at the beginning was super exciting and it was hard. But he was doing something totally new. And he was learning a language. His brain was really engaged. He was having fun with all the new people he was meeting. And he didn't really miss home. Because he was really preoccupied with all the newness that was happening. But he was starting to struggle. Because the newness wore off. some of the day-to-day boredom started to see Ben. And it was starting to get hard to focus on missionary work because he started. It started to feel kind of mundane. And so then his brain started to really think about home and all of the fun that he could possibly be having instead. And so he started having some homesickness. another missionary mom that I spoke with her son had been out in the field only for a few weeks. And he started to express. How much he missed home. He felt different. Because he was in a different country. He was trying to learn a new language. He started really feeling isolated and overwhelmed by everything that was happening. And as his mom, she felt a mix of heartbreak and helplessness, and she just really wanted to jump on a plane and bring him home. But she knew that really wasn't the answer. In both of these situations, You have the emotions the missionary is experiencing. And you have the emotions that the mom is experiencing. About their emotions. So for my case, I started to feel some anxiety. That somehow I needed to help my son. Not feel bored. And thus solving some of him, his homesickness. And my brain really wanted to solve it by contacting the mission president. To suggest a transfer. So that he could feel invigorated by a new. Area or possibly a new companion, but ultimately two things happened. And I know that this is not. I knew that it wasn't the area or the work that was causing his boredom, but his thoughts. That was creating that emotion. And I knew that we would bump up against hope. Homesickness at some point. And my brain would want to interfere. Bye. Contacting the mission president or whatever. And so instead I noticed how my brain was trying to figure out a solution. To the issue. So that I could escape my own discomfort. Of his emotions. Instead of just allowing him. To wrestle with them himself. And then for the second case, the mom I spoke with. It was also uncomfortable with her missionary struggle. Feeling isolated and, you know, they shed some tears and she really wanted to go in and rescue. So both over time, both of us leaned into the discomfort that we're experiencing. And we allowed our missionaries to navigate that homesickness and the reasons behind it, like why, why. It was happening. So we can help our missionaries cope with homesickness, and here's a few strategies that can make a really big difference first. Communication is key, encouraging your missionary to write emails or letters home. Making sure that they're. Making their weekly phone calls. It's important to stay in touch. But it's also critical to find a balance too much communication. Sometimes hinders their ability to really. Immerse themselves in the work. So you just want to aim for regular, but not excessive contact. And where you're, when you're talking to them and they're expressing. You know, some pausable homesickness. Remind yourself. That this is part of it. And remember that when Christ found out. About Lazaruth passing away. He wept with his friends. He didn't say anything like. Oh, don't worry. This will pass or it's going to be okay. Just being present and empathizing is a really good practice. Spiritual practice are also incredibly helpful. Suggesting that your missionary. You know, turn to the scriptures, prayer. And other spiritual activities for comfort. The book of Mormon and talks from general conference, can. You know, also be particularly uplifting. I actually find prayer to be the most comforting. In, in times of discomfort just really being able to turn that burden over. To Christ so that he can. Help them carry that and help me carry it. So that I'm not wringing my hands. At night. Something else that's essential. With dealing with any type of. Homesickness or. Negative emotion is making sure that they have established some healthy habits. Just encouraging them to maintain. A routine. That includes some regular exercise. Mentioning that. Healthy eating and making sure that they're making. You know, healthy choices. Also will impact their emotional state. And getting enough sleep. So these can really improve their mental. And. Physical wellbeing. And lastly, maybe possibly suggesting that they find something. That they enjoy, whether it's learning to cook. A new local dish. Lots of missionaries. Are very. Adventure some when it comes to learning how to cook some of, you know, local areas. Or picking up. Some new thing that they've learned and it helps them stay engaged and not let their brains just spin. In thoughts about home? Or. You know, in creating some of that homesickness. So another way that we can really support. Our missionaries is providing some emotional support. So it's important that we're there for them, but we also need to encourage them to develop their own coping strategies and resilience. And positive reinforcement and reminding them of their purpose as they go along. On this mission. And it's important to also point out that they have a nervous system that's reacting to what's happening as well. And that their brains main objective is to keep them safe. And not in harm. Or endanger. And if, if their brain can keep them sitting on the couch, Not doing anything. Then all the better. Because then they won't die. So their brain is working very hard to keep them safe. And so it can bring up. A lot of the thoughts that will create some of those homesickness. And so if they're on to like their brain's main purpose, Then they're not going to be surprised when it happens. Number one, and they're also going to be able to. See what their brain is trying to do. And it doesn't always. Mean that it's in their best interest. Another way to show love and support is to send care packages. You can include some practical items. As, as well as like comforting items. Maybe a favorite snack, cozy pair of socks. A family photo. As well as something I've sent my boys. That has just really helped them and their brain, especially when they're experiencing you. Some of that discomfort with boredom is I sent them a travel. Chess set. So that it's got the magnets so that they can engage in an activity. In at night when they get back to their apartment with their. Companion or even during PE days or something like that. And then if, if it becomes something that's a perpetual problem and maybe it's something that's escalating beyond homesickness. Then just making sure that you're staying connected with the mission president. Or the mission leaders. And they can provide additional support and guidance. That is tailored to your missionary specific needs. So don't hesitate to reach out to them. If you have concerns. And you can see a pattern starting to emerge. That may be something that is more than just homesickness. So to all the amazing missionary moms listening, remember homesickness is common and it's temporary. It will pass. It's part of the adjustment process. It's part of what's going to happen. And when, when it does. Don't let your brain act surprised. And with time and support most missionaries overcome. This and they grow stronger from the experience. So just to recap. We talked about understanding homesickness. I shared a personal story for me. And my experience and also from another missionary mom. We discussed coping strategies for your missionary and how you can support them from home. And just remember that you're doing an incredible job. And that your love and support makes all the difference. If you need more resources or additional support. Please feel free to book a free call with me. There's a link in the show notes.
