Weight loss, breathwork, and addiction with Julia Christine

What really makes a difference in weight loss? And is healthy weight loss really about the weight or the dress size.. or is it about much more than that? Some of these answers you know or can guess. And…today’s show is guaranteed to give you a few things to think about no matter what size you are.  Julia Christine is a health and nutrition coach that has transitioned into complete wellness coaching. Her approach to weight loss is less about the dress size and more about the mental health involved.  

She couldn’t deny her need for help when she found herself falling apart in her living room, unable to do the simple yoga she was trying, weighing in at around 300 lbs, depressed, and having trouble concentrating. It was there on the floor that she made some crucial decisions for how she talked to herself and what she focused on, and in small steps lost over 130 lbs and became a health and nutrition coach herself, and started a podcast.

Follow today’s conversation through weight loss metrics that she no longer supports, and learn what she thinks really matters in body size, as well as her 5 pillars of health: Physical, mental, spiritual, sexual, and financial.

We unpack some misunderstandings around food or other addictions, discuss some indicators that your food habits may be increasing your pain, depression, or brain fog, and how the addictions, coping mechanisms, extra weight, poor health, and heavy mental states we can feel lost in aren’t even the real problems. The problems are  what each are running away from. 

We hear beautiful insights about the power in tears, breath, and awareness of our own emotions, and we take big topics and distill them down to some small steps that really make a difference.

For more with Julia, listen to her host the Life After Breath podcast  at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/life-after-breath/id1713661645

on IG @juliachristinehealth and on Facebook as Julia Christine.

Transcript

0:00

Hello and welcome to the what really makes a difference podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Becca Whitaker. I've been a doctor of natural health care for over 20 years and a professional speaker on health and vitality, but everything I thought I knew about health. Was tested when my own health hit a landslide and I became a very sick patient I've learned that showing up for our own health and vitality is a step by step journey that we take for the rest of our lives and This podcast is about sharing some of the things that really make a difference on that journey with you So grab your Explorer's hat while we get ready to check out today's topic. My incredible guest network and I will be sharing some practical tools, current science and ancient wisdom that we all need, no matter what stage we are at in our health and vitality. I've already got my hat on and my hand out, so let's dive in and we can all start walking each other home. Welcome, and I'm going to start with a question today of what really makes a difference in weight loss. And is healthy weight loss really about the weight and the dress size, or is it about a lot more than that? Some of these answers you already know, I'm sure, or can guess, but today's show is pretty guaranteed to give you a few things to think about, no matter what size you are. I am with Julia Christine and she's a health and nutrition coach that has transitioned into complete wellness coaching. Her approach to weight loss is a lot less about the dress size and more about the mental health involved. That was how her journey started. She began at around 300 pounds, has lost 130 pounds, changed the way that she coaches wellness and started a podcast called the Life After Breath it's an amazing journey that she shares with us. And the insights that she shares with us along the way are beautiful. We talk about food addictions, other addictions, indicators your food habits might be increasing your pain, depression, or brain fog. And about how the addictions and coping mechanisms that we have are often really about running away from something. That we don't know how to face. So she talks about how to lean in to facing those things with tools that are much less scary than you think, and much less difficult than all that running away. It's lots of food for thought and she's a wonderful coach. So I'm excited to give to you my conversation with Julia Christine.

Track 1 2:40

I am so grateful to be able to record this conversation that I'm having with you. We've had a moment to chat and talk about what we wanna talk about and what our lives are leading us to right now. And as I was telling you, I can think of so many people just in my inner circle that I am really looking forward to sharing your wisdom and your insights with. So thank you for being with me today, Julia

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 3:05

Absolutely. Thank you for having, having me. I hope, I hope it's as wonderful as you think it'll be.

Track 1 3:12

how we're both talking that it is snowing outside for both of us. I'm in southern Utah. You are in New York. I love the internet.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 3:19

not quite snowing here yet, but it's, it's, uh, it's 34 degrees, but it's not, it's not snowing yet,

Track 1 3:25

Okay, it's coming soon. So, um, Julia is an right, is a nutrition coach that is transitioning to what she calls complete wellness coaching. So Julia, can you tell me how you got into nutritional coaching? And then tell me what it was that you saw working with clients or working with yourself that let you know you needed to embrace more than just nutrition. As important as that, it's.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 3:52

Sure. Okay. It's kinda hard to just jump into where I started coaching. Um, I, in my weight loss, uh, journey, I had a pretty massive transformation. And, um, while I, my approach to my weight loss was less about weight loss and more about my mental health, that was how I kind of got into it. And so as I went through that journey, probably about two months into it, I actually, for the first time in my life, kind of realized that I had value, that I had worth, that I was worthy of an amazing life. And, um, when I started realizing my value, the idea of helping other people, helping other women, I. Feel like they had value too became really important to me. And so that's why I decided to become a coach. Um, the, the program that I worked with, um, had a lot of a, is very family oriented. And so it was a lot of women who were doing this to help their families were finding health to make sure that they were there for their children and, and for their husbands and all of this. And I'm a single woman who don't, doesn't have children and who will never have children. And I thought, well, screw that. Like I'm single and I don't have kids and I can still do this and I can show other women who can, who, who are single, who don't want kids, who can't have kids, that they can have this too. That they can have this amazing life and love themselves and, and find their value without that. Um, and, and it was just like, yeah, this is what I need to do. And so I started doing that and one of the first people I coached was my mom. and she lost a considerable amount of weight. But what she said to me one day, just in passing, and I don't think she realizes the impact it had on me, um, she glanced at herself in the mirror and she had to do a double take. And she said to herself out loud, oh, there you are. And for my mom, like, I'm getting jealous like my mom to find herself again. And that she did that on her own, but I was able to help her get there. How can I not know that this is what I'm doing for the rest of my life? And, um, I've helped a lot of people lose a lot of weight, and that's awesome and it's important, but I started to feel, I, I felt very conflicted because on one hand I'm a very, obviously, health and, and weight loss is important and your nutrition is such an important part of Who you are. But I also started getting feeling kind of yucky about like the body image stuff that, that we as a society tend to push and that like you have to look a certain way or you have to weigh a certain amount. And I, I started to realize more and more that your value is not attached to a number on a scale. And that like, actually that number isn't even always accurate. It doesn't tell you what your body composition is. It's just all of it in one. And I can tell you from my personal experience, I lost 130 pounds. I'm not sure that that's where my body needs to be because probably about 20 pounds of that is skin, which if I take that skin off, that means I'm weighing a hundred and you know, you know that I'm down 110, you know, what is that, 50 pounds so that I'm down to like 120 pounds at five eight. That's not exactly a healthy weight for my body type. And yet my scale says otherwise. The BMI says otherwise. And I started to realize that we use these metrics that make us feel shame and guilt and like are really oppressive when actually what matters is how you feel and how you, and so I started wanting my clients to love themselves where they are right now. Yeah, I know you wanna lose weight because you wanna feel better and you wanna, and so that's honestly to this day, when my clients tell me, you know, they, I, they tell me every week where they are and their weight loss and what their scale says because we do use the scale as a tool to show us where, where you're direction, where you're going. But my first response to them is, how do you feel?

Track 1 7:57

Yes.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 7:57

Because that is what it's about.

Track 1 7:59

Yes.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 8:00

And um, and so in discovering that, and obviously Your journey's called a journey because it doesn't end until you do. Right? And so in the last three years, having come through this weight loss and keeping it off and sometimes really struggling to keep it off, and like dealing with, dealing with all of that, I've continued to learn and grow and to understand myself more. And there's, there's been a huge awareness that, as I said to you earlier, that it is so apparent to me that our body, mind, and spirit are all wrapped up into each other. And you can't really focus, you can't really work on one and truly want change in one area without working on all of those areas. And so it started occurring to me that I was finding so much more like joy in, um, in working with people who were really wanting change and really wanting to install healthier habits and open to like Taking some time to prioritize themselves in the morning and, and be more aware of their, of how they talk to themselves, how they walk around each day, versus the person who just wanted to lose the weight so they could fit in the dress for the wedding. And then, but they didn't really care about, you know what I mean? It was so much About the

Track 1 9:24

worth or life or you know, how they felt inside, right?

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 9:29

I want you to feel good about yourself too, but if you're not willing to do this work, I'm not sure I'm your person because I wanna work. I wanna do the work with you. And if you're not willing to do that work, I'm not sure I can help you.

Track 1 9:40

and there and there are other people that can help you, or methods that can help you drop a size or two. Um,

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 9:48

right. Whereas I'm passionate about throwing away this diet mentality and this again, societal structure that is in place that we have to look and be a certain way. Screw that. That is not who I am. And so, um. I, I start, I started getting more and more curious about this, and so I used to call myself a certified health coach, and now I've moved that around to being a certified health and wellness coach, and that's what I call myself today. And, and I'm working on, you know, but my passion, as I mentioned, and as you mentioned, is complete wellness and what that means to me, because when I tell, when I use the word wellness, I, I think we all have our own interpretation of what that means. And to me, complete wellness is all of the facets of our lives. It's physical wellness. Yes. So that means your nutrition and your fitness and things like that, but it's also mental wellness. And yes, I, I mean mental health, but I also mean, how are you talking to yourself? How do you feel about yourself? That's mental. How, like how do you wake up in the morning? What are you grateful for? How do you treat the other people in your life? How, how do they treat you? How do you allow them to treat you? That's all part of mental, then you've got your spiritual aspect of it. Um, I think it's really important for us to take time to meditate or pray, whatever that is for you, and really connect to that. We'll talk about that more, I'm sure. And then sexual wellness, especially for women, that is something that is far overlooked. It's a duty, it's something that we do for fun. It, it's not a part of who we are, I believe it is. I believe that there are societal structures that are in place, generational narratives that are in place that we desperately as women need to tear apart. So that we can freely be the sexual being that we are. And that that's okay. It's a part of who we are. And there are, and just like anything else, there are people who have, who are more that than others, and that's okay. But if you don't know that, if you haven't been given an opportunity to explore that about what you need, about what you desire, about what feels good and what doesn't, if you don't have the opportunity to explore that, then you don't know. And so you find yourself in a box. And I think the same is true about financial wellness. We don't like to talk about money, we don't like to talk about religion. We don't like to about sex, we don't like to talk about money. And those are three things that cause us to stay stuck. To stay where we think we're supposed to be based on what we've heard or learned or started believing at a young age. Let's break some of that apart. Those are also three areas that cause major stress that are dictated by the countries we live in, by the cities we live in, by the, like all of those things, by the, you know, needing to work a nine to five in order to make this dollar amount so that I can do this so that one day I can Have a retirement and be happy. Says who? Like, why did we start believing that? Like why do we, why do we keep ourselves there? And you know what? There are people that love that and wanna be there and good for you, then you're happy, then you're right where you need to be. But if that's not you, let's talk about why we're stuck there. Let's talk about what else is there? What else? Let's start exploring. It's all about, it all comes down to getting curious. Huh? Why do I talk to myself that way? Huh? Why do I think I have to feel miserable at work? Huh? Why do I think that's okay? And just, there's no judgment in any of those questions. It's about being curious without the judgment and maybe start answering some of those questions for yourself and stepping back and being able to realize that I am worth living the life that I wanna live because it's my life

Track 1 13:32

Yeah,

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 13:33

and it's not dictated by society or by our parents, or by. our husbands or children or any of those things,

Track 1 13:40

yeah.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 13:41

those might have influence, but it's your life. You get to use it and, and live it and love it, you know?

Track 1 13:49

there's so much in here to un unpack. So first I'm gonna bring you back, so you talked about, I just wanna make sure we got all of the areas and then we'll break'em down. So physical health, mental health,

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 14:01

Mm-Hmm.

Track 1 14:02

spiritual health, sexual, financial. I remember you saying there was something else, or where there's those five.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 14:09

Those are the five pillars that I like.

Track 1 14:11

thought you had seven and I'm like. What even else would there be? Okay. Five.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 14:17

I mean, if when you break up like in, in physical, that's like nutrition and fitness, so that could be split up a little

Track 1 14:23

no, no. Five is fine.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 14:25

ways to, yeah.

Track 1 14:28

So I wanna go back to a few things. First of all, that story about your mom, the, oh, there you are. Oh, so I, I, I feel like so many of us have, um, something that happens to us, some, something that's hard. You know, there's, I'm not talking just about trauma, I'm talking about something that is difficult to move through in addiction, in habits and whatever we do that kind of like takes us away from ourself a bit. Some people, they get stuck in work. Some people they have a health crash, some people

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 15:07

Right,

Track 1 15:08

have a ton of weight, but there's like a thing, right? That. Usually as a result of how we run from ourself, and that often is our vehicle for how we come back to ourself. There's some kind of awarenesses as we move back through those addiction or we climb our way back up to health or we do something else. For me, mine was definitely overwork. Um, I've heard you talk about work so we, you know, have some things we could talk about with that. Work for me was a place where I felt like I knew what I was doing. It was like turned into the only place where I felt like I knew what I was doing. I knew I was making an impact, which was important to me. Um, people said thank you. I could kind of like control the vibe that I was in, which was so different than raising my children and my relationship was unstable and I was questioning my spiritual faith as like the line of generations of my family have been involved in, in the religion. Like life was chaos for me everywhere else. I pretty much would just. Not, I started not putting makeup on before I went to work.'cause I knew I would cry all the way from my house to work and then I would dry my tears in the parking lot where no one could see put on my mascara and go in as Dr. Becca, which is not a healthy way to live, but it, it was truthfully,

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 16:22

you wanna like,

Track 1 16:23

I know

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 16:23

the screen and hug you

Track 1 16:25

it was, it was the way I was living. Like it was my oasis. So was I overworking? Yes. Was I delaying coming home? Yes. Was I willing to solve another problem where someone would like, collaborate with me and it wasn't difficult? Yes. all those things.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 16:44

Yeah.

Track 1 16:44

But it turned out that then there was, you know, that it has a bite, just like if you're coping with things by eating or you're coping with things by gambling or you're coping with whatever it is. There's always the other part of that, right? Like either then you have the horrible brain fog, not just the weight, but the brain fog, the often depression, the aches in your joints, how terrible it feels to have eaten the wrong foods in too much. For me, it was, I took on so much to try to feel like I had some sort of like success or, um, control I guess in my life that then there was way too much. I never had any time for rest. My relationship suffered more and the stress of all the things mounted until I had massive health crash. When you talk about seeing your mom say in the mirror, oh, there you are. I will say that was one of the pivotal moments for me. I mean, I, my health crash was bad enough. I literally was just, I could barely move. I could barely speak. I could barely talk, walk. I was in so much pain. My body was just on fire and I remember making my way to my mirror. And usually I wouldn't look in the mirror because when I looked in the mirror, I looked sick. I mean like

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 18:01

Yeah,

Track 1 18:01

pale,

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 18:02

yeah,

Track 1 18:03

heavy, face, like sick. I looked like a sick person. And I remember just,

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 18:08

how we can like look in the mirror to make sure that we're ready to go and that we look decent, but that we're not really seeing, we're not really looking at ourselves. We're just looking at like the outline. Okay. I'm put together. I

Track 1 18:19

Yes. Um, are the bits covered? And off we go. But I, but I, I, I had a moment where I stared into my eyes, like doggedly, like with all of the like warrior your heart into me, in me, until I could find myself. And I finally found it in my eyes. My eyes was the only thing I would look at. And I just really, those were the words was like, there you are. Like, who, who.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 18:46

You're

Track 1 18:46

it was finding that

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 18:49

Mm-Hmm.

Track 1 18:49

me the drive to find it again. And to find it again and to hold that as like my own, my own messenger flag. Can you, I've heard you talk about going in and what changes when we do that, um, instead of running, um,

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 19:07

Yeah.

Track 1 19:08

so tell me how you started to go in or how you coach people to go in now?

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 19:14

sure, sure. So I'm gonna just, if it's okay, I'm gonna touch on a couple of things and the first thing that you've kind of said, but I heard somebody say this once, and it's just really impactful when we're talking about addiction. Like if it's food addiction or drugs, alcohol, whatever it is that you turn to. those things that that's not the problem. Tobacco weeded, whatever, that's not the problem. The problem is what we're actually running from. And when we can connect to what we're actually running from and deal with that, those things will go away. We won't need them anymore. And yeah, there's a chemical addiction and things like that that happen to your body, but the more you can heal whatever it is, that's actually the problem. Those things will go away. Your body will not need them or crave them anymore. And that's something to really look at. If you are struggling with addiction, it is. It's tough. It's hard, but choose your hard, you know, it's hard living in addiction and or for like someone like me who was obese, it's hard living on medications. It's hard having diabetes threatening. It's hard. That's hard. Or I can choose a hard to be healthy and make some changes in my life that will help me avoid those things to eventually. That won't be my hard, I won't have that

Track 1 20:31

All right.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 20:32

like when you are willing to go in and do the work, yeah. It's hard. But what if it's not? What if it's not? What if it's actually going to make me feel better?

Track 1 20:45

Yeah,

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 20:46

What if in the long run it's not as hard?

Track 1 20:49

think hard to, um, so I have had addiction, you know, uh, with people in my life where we've been working through addiction together. And I remember being in classes where some of the stigma of addiction got to be released for me. And I realized it was pain management technique. I had an

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 21:09

That's exactly

Track 1 21:10

Yeah, I hadn't put it for myself for work, but yes, I was in pain and that was how I was managing. But all kinds of addiction, pain management, and it was for me, pivotal to understand that addiction was leading to a pain that a person didn't know how to handle. Um, the person that I was sitting with, they started with even a check-in at the beginning of our group class where you had to say how you were feeling and most the addicts in the room did not know how to put words. They had like a sample sheet of 20 different emotions with the corresponding face that would look at, and that was truthfully the hardest part for the person that I was with, was to say how they were feeling

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 21:54

absolutely

Track 1 21:55

and say it and have it be okay. Yeah. I realized I, I had, I had made some feelings, okay, some feelings bad, so I just didn't feel those things. And if I didn't feel those things, that meant I had to have something else to do. So I wouldn't feel like the going into it, the, the how you address that pain, I think can be scary for people. But also it's like a, it's a, it's a new learning. Like yes, it's hard, but it's also learning how to listen to yourself, which is the person we have not paid attention to for so long.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 22:27

There's so much

Track 1 22:28

I know,

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 22:29

like there's, there's this part of me that's like, and isn't it interesting? Because this goes back to those freaking societal structures. It is far more acceptable in our society for people to be dealing with addiction than to be vulnerable and really dig deep.

Track 1 22:43

right?

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 22:44

That is so much for a man to get vulnerable and emotional and cry. Are you kidding? But if you're addicted to something, I understand, what the hell is that about? Like how twisted is

Track 1 22:55

And we, and women and women are, are, are taught a little, are are taught different things about vulnerability. You're supposed to be vulnerable, but also you can't, or you'll be weak like.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 23:05

also don't cry. Or you're

Track 1 23:06

Yeah. but also you should cry because

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 23:08

cry, cry. cry, cry, cry. There's so much power in your tears.

Track 1 23:12

and men. Women and men,

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 23:14

them. Everybody just cry. It's so important and it's healing. I mean, think about it. I say this all the time. Water made the Grand Canyon. That's freaking power.

Track 1 23:24

That is

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 23:24

imagine what it's doing when it needs to leave your body. You don't have to question why. You don't have to judge, why you don't have to anything. Just let those tears flow because somehow, somewhere, whether you realize it or not, there's some kind of healing going

Track 1 23:35

one of the most, um, powerful experiences I've ever had looking at a man, and I don't mean romantic or sexual experiences at all. Um, I was in a, it was doing a spiritual thing and a man was my coach, which I had a lot of mistrust of men. I had a lot of trauma. Like I, I was friends with all men, with like friends with men, but letting them deeply in for. I'd never really felt safe. So to have him be coaching me in a really vulnerable place was a big deal for me. And I just, a man showed up that I am just forever grateful for. His name was Keith Norris. He's one of the creators of Paleo fx. But he, I started to cry. I was reliving something and I went to like, call myself silly and wipe my tears away. He literally just stopped my hand and he was like, no. He's like, these are sacred. I will not ever wipe them. Please don't wipe them if you have to do a thing, if they're itching. Like, I just started rubbing'em in like, so they're

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 24:34

Yeah.

Track 1 24:35

so, they're like apart, but I don't, there's, there's the crying where it's sacred crying and you're finally releasing something. And then there's also the crying that just never seems to stop. That's wallowing. That never goes anywhere. And that I think is where I thought I would be stuck if I ever let the tears start for me. I learned, it's like really feeling it. I, I, I heard somewhere. No idea if it's valid, but I heard somewhere that it takes about 90 seconds if you're brave enough to feel into your feelings deeply, unabashedly for 90 seconds, whatever they are, screaming, crying, joyfully, cackling, 90 seconds, and then you're okay. I really thought it would kill me truthfully. And then I realized it is about 90 seconds for me. I, I

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 25:20

is 90 seconds. And that's true for everything. And this is, I talk about this with my clients. I've talked about this on my podcast, 90 seconds. So if you're mad at somebody, 90 seconds, that's physiologically how long it takes for your body and your brain to go through whatever emotion you're feeling. So we, we are mad at somebody for an entire day or a week or we stop talking to them like, that's us. We are doing that. We are replaying that story. We are. And it, so it's like, if you can remember, 90 seconds. that really your body's done. So that means you can be too, and allowing yourself to do that. Like it's, there's so much power. We have so much power. But this all comes back to what your original question was, was you have to be connected to yourself in order to be able to be in that mindset of, I'm really pissed off, but it's been over 90 seconds. I need to let go of this. Or what do I need to do about this? Do you know what I mean? Because when we're angry like that, or when we're, we're in reaction mode, we're not gonna have that sense of like, wait, what's really going on? Is this even about me? What, what happened? That triggered me so much? I mean, I've come to a point where I love anger because when I start feeling angry, it's me going, hang on, something's triggering me. What is that? So anger and I are friends because when I'm angry, my anger is actually just making me aware

Track 1 26:38

Yep.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 26:38

that something's triggering me and I need to look

Track 1 26:40

Yeah, I have found

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 26:42

that's an amazing place to be. I, three years ago, are you kidding? I was just, I just lived in anger, you know what I

Track 1 26:48

it's like it has to get bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger until. You listen to it and once you learn how to listen to it bits at a time, it seems like it doesn't take so much to like, take me over anymore.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 27:01

it's about becoming aware of your body. When you get angry, your body does something for me. My heart races or I start to get hot sometimes with people. Like when I get, when I start feeling quieted or frustrated, I can feel my, my, my throat starts to tighten. Um, some people, their stomach hurts, some people get a headache, some people's neck ache. Your body does something when you start to feel these emotions. And so when you can be in touch with your body, oh, I'm, this is what's going on right now, I'm feeling this. Then that clues you into, okay, what's really going on? And you can start being curious again. There's no judgment in any of that. It's literally about going, huh? I'm reacting to something. What's happening? And pulling yourself back. I have been in situations where someone was literally yelling at me full force. Yelling at me and I was able to go, wow, is this even about me? Like, what is this about? And is she right? No. So then that means like, what's she's saying isn't true for me? So that means this has nothing to do with me. This is about her. She's in her head about something. This is her perception. I'm gonna let her have that and I don't have to take any of that on or, and then later on in the conversation it was like, okay, is that true? Yeah, that's true. But she's talking about some of the massive changes and boundaries that I've made and boundaries I've put in place, so I'm not willing to change those things. So this is again, about her. And then the next thing that she brought up was like, okay, is this true? Yeah. Do I wanna change? Do I wanna make a change about that? And it was like, yeah, I could do better there. And so I was able to say, you know what? You're right. Thank you for bringing that to my attention. Here are, here's what I'm gonna do to try to make that better. Here are the efforts that I'm gonna make to do that, or I'm gonna work on that. You know what I mean? And then we've diffused a situation without reacting because we were able to like in the moment realize, okay, half of this has nothing to do with me, but that point I can act that is within my control. And I, that is something that I wanna make change for myself and for our relationship. So I'm gonna make these efforts. But I mean, and to say it, it sounds so mature. It sounds so like, but it is when, when someone is screaming in your face to be able to do that, that's really hard. But it goes back to finding yourself. And so my breaking point was, I mean, honestly it's, it's a little bit less than finding myself and realizing that I have a choice and that's Choice is key word for me because we have a choice in everything. Just like making a choice about whether or not I want to make that change or not. That she was yelling at me about, it was two weeks into my program, I was, I'd probably dropped maybe 10, 12 pounds. And, um, so I'm still very close to 300 pounds. I had, it was during Covid. I had not left my house, um, except to go up and down the stairs to take the trash. And when I would do that, it would take me 15 minutes to recover. Like it was miserable. And, um, I decided I needed to do some yoga.'cause again, I needed the mental part of it. And so that was part of my program. I'd worked with my coach, whatever. I did my first 30 minutes of yoga and I hated myself. I was literally on my stomach crying on the mat because it was awful. And I am, I used to dance. I, I am very flexible, uh, you know what I mean? I used to do yoga, all this stuff. And so I was literally sitting there. In my status quo of hating myself about how awful it was and how fat I am and how ugly I am, and how I'm never gonna be able to do this. And like, I used to be able to do this, but I can't anymore. And for, for the first time in my life, Becca, literally the first time I thought to myself, Julia, you haven't moved in two and a half months. You haven't done yoga in 20 years. You haven't, like, you are 300 pounds and you're making efforts to change that. Try it again tomorrow. It's gonna be better. How can you expect yourself to be perfect today?

Track 1 31:03

Hmm.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 31:04

And I actually chose that. Like I, I, I say this all the time, but it felt like I was on a balance beam and I could go to the land of self-deprecation where I lived my whole life, or I could actually choose to give myself this much grace and try again tomorrow. And I chose that. And that choice changed my life. because I chose that the next day and the next day and the next day, and all of a sudden I'm choosing to actually love myself instead of assume that I had to hate myself.

Track 1 31:38

I'm gonna pause you there

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 31:39

we can go into, yeah,

Track 1 31:41

I'm gonna pause you there because I think this relates so much, um, to people in general and definitely to myself. We talk about addiction and going into the problem and learning to love yourself, and these things feel so. Big, right? Like, okay, sure, I'll get over my alcohol addiction by just going into the reason why why I'm in pain. Sure. That'll be nice and easy. I know exactly how to do that, right? No. And or learning how to love yourself or learning how to make yourself worth more important than pleasing the other people in the room. These are like such big topics and I think I used to, yeah. I used, yeah. I used to feel overwhelmed, like, sure, I need to love myself more. Sure. I don't feel like, like I need, like taking care of myself as, as worthy of a cause of taking care of my children. Right.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 32:35

Right,

Track 1 32:36

But what we do is, is take the little things, right? We say it's hard to go into weight loss, or it's hard to go into your pain, or it's hard to learn to love yourself. Really hard is one of those words we can trans, I mean we can almost like shift that word to, it takes. steps. Like it takes practice. It takes that moment on the floor of choosing your thoughts where you realize you can indeed choose your thoughts. And where you lay something out without the judgment, like instead of, I am so fat, I'm so terrible. It's like, Julia, weigh 300 pounds. You haven't moved in two and a half months. Not judgment. Like, these are just the facts. And so this is going to be difficult. Also, try again. You know, like that's so much, that's so much less to move through. Yeah. So much less to move through than, than I have lost everything. This will never get better. And I think with weight loss or with illness or with addiction, we sometimes go into the, this is so huge, instead of like this choice

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 33:40

yeah.

Track 1 33:40

right now. Like what am I feeling? And is it okay?

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 33:44

one step at a time. Yeah. Yeah. One step at

Track 1 33:47

that truly is not harder. That's not harder.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 33:50

no.

Track 1 33:51

it's harder to run your whole

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 33:52

as like Right. Right. And Yeah. Exactly. And, and it's so funny because we forget, like when we come to a certain level where we're like, okay, I'm, I'm at this place, I'm still growing, I'm still whatever. But I can look back at all the growth that I've had and like, this seems hard, but when you look back, you're like, yeah, but look at how miserable I was. Or even in the moment, look at how miserable I am. What if I try this and it works? What if, what if I choose to love myself and I feel better? What if I choose to give myself grace and say, you know what, okay, you'll do better tomorrow. That's like when I, I vocabulary is a big thing for me. And so hard has gone to one to be one of the top of my list. Because is it really hard? Like, let's hang on, let's take a break, let's pull back. Is it really hard or is it uncomfortable?

Track 1 34:43

you go.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 34:43

Is it a different thing than what you're used to just falling into? Is it hard? Is it really hard?

Track 1 34:49

does it take

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 34:50

You can do hard things.

Track 1 34:51

or can I show

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 34:53

it new?

Track 1 34:53

a part of it? Is it new?

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 34:55

hard, you know, like there's all these things we, we, we are so quick to label things as being hard. It's like, ah, it's not really that hard. And like, and so the same thing is when my clients tell me that they cheated. No, you didn't cheat. You made a choice. Did the choice move you in the direction you wanna go? No. But did you enjoy it? Sure. Okay, great. Good. I'm glad you enjoyed it. did you suffer for it? Yeah. My stomach hurt the next day. So remember that the next time you have a choice. Do you know what I mean? Like remember that and like, okay, great, it's okay to make a choice. There's no such thing as good or bad. It's just a choice. Like, woof, take some pressure off of that. It's just a choice. And the best part about a choice is that you can make another one. If that wasn't the choice that moved you forward, and next time you wanna move forward, make a different choice. Notice I didn't say better. Make a different choice next time. That's it.

Track 1 35:48

I love that.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 35:48

Take some of the pressure off. Take some of the like, like let's literally, like I said, let's dismantle some of that crazy pressure We have to fit a mold and to do it right and to be perfect and to all the, you already are perfect because you're try. The definition of perfect is to strive for more, is to strive to be better, to be, to strive to do better this time. That's perfect. So if you are working to improve yourself, you're already perfect.

Track 1 36:17

That's beautiful.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 36:18

It's not about an end result, it's about the process

Track 1 36:22

interesting thing for me, I found the the perfect thing to be the first word that needed to be pulled from my vocabulary. Um, very first word. And I had to replace that with present because for me, I'm like a lifetime striver. So so I was like striving to be better. Yes, I can, but if I, and I'm not trying to like counter what you're saying, I'm just saying interesting how different words hold different power for each other and, and if we find a word that gives us a ton of pressure or that is hurting us, either change the word or change the definition. For me, I. That happened on a walk. I was actually walking and I was having a conversation with my higher power where I was yelling actually I'm like, why, why am I getting these messages about be therefore perfect and also getting the messages of you need to have more self-worth and da da da. I'm like, this is crazy. I cannot be all of these things. And, and the deep filling I got, I will just always remember was, was that word doesn't mean now what it was intended. And it was be therefore present, which is funny. I don't, I don't quote scriptures to myself very much anymore. My spirituality has changed a lot. But the be there, like be present with who you are. I sometimes round myself up thinking I have to know all the answers. I have to know all the things I have to do. And it's like, Becca, the very best thing you can do is be right here with your heart, with yourself. There, there is nothing, there's nothing higher than. Then

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 38:00

Yeah.

Track 1 38:01

presence,

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 38:02

Yeah. I, I always recommend If you, if you're stuck on a word, if there's a word that triggers you or something like that, look it up because the i and, and maybe not the first definition, like, keep going. Look at the root word. Look at the, look at like where it came from, what it meant in Roman times, or, you know, wherever the, if it's a, if it comes from Latin, what does it mean in Latin? And, and like, really get curious about that word. Because for me, being the person who grew up as the people pleaser that you had to be perfect or they'd leave, or no one would love you or you're not good enough if, unless it's perfect, which is, comes back to going to work all the time and getting that validation all the time. I could be perfect at work,

Track 1 38:40

Yep.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 38:41

you know, and like, and that was, is a huge thing for me. And, and so understanding that definition was like a huge weight off of my shoulders. And it was, it took me a while to get to the point where I felt like, okay, I'm already perfect because I'm striving. I'm always striving to be my best. Then that's perfection right there. And but to release this idea that the product, the end result had to be perfect was a massive change for me. So just understanding that definition shifted. Ma majorly, the word that I always am very a, a stickler about is the word should

Track 1 39:18

Hmm.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 39:19

we shit ourselves to death. And like,

Track 1 39:22

one of my phrases is are you shitting on me? Are you shitting on yourself?

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 39:25

shitting on me? Aren't you shitting on yourself? Stop shitting on yourself. Yeah, totally. I say that all of the time because, um, Louise Hay actually does an exercise that I kind of stole and like literally like you just use my own words. But what she does is take your, take your backpack of shoulds and like write down everything that you should be doing or that you should have done by now or that you should have, and then change that and write, rewrite the list to could, and now you're in action.

Track 1 39:54

Hmm.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 39:54

I should go back to school, change that to, I could go back to school. Okay. Why don't you? Well, because I really don't have time right now because of my schedule. But once this other thing is done, I can, I can. Fantastic. Then you can take that outta your backpack because you have a plan for it. Done. I could do this. Why don't you, I really don't want to. That's what my parents always wanted for me. Take it off your list and you start to like, unpack that bag and, and I feel like should, is like guilt and it keeps you stuck. I should do this. And it's like, you feel all this pressure because you should have, or you should be doing this. Screw that. Turn it to could and get into action. And if you can do it, great, and if you can't figure it out later and you can release that should, and now you're in action and you're a movement and it feels good, it feels better than the, than the mire of should and guilt and shame and all of that. So should's a big one for

Track 1 40:45

Oh, I love that.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 40:46

but. If it's okay, I wanna come back just a little bit.'cause we were talking a little bit about how to find ourselves. We keep talking about like, like that we, we've made all these changes because we found ourselves. And when you go back to yourself, when you understand who you are, and there's, you know, this because of our conversation and also my podcast, I believe very strongly that the way to start kind of really tuning into yourself is through breath work and through a morning breath practice. Now I came across this after my weight loss and as I was like learning to meditate and like realizing how impactful that is for me. Um, and, and I will say that I, when we talk about running away from ourselves and, and, and whether it's food or whatever, like we hide into, I think my relationship with food was very different from that kind of running away and like it actually became my work that I ran to similar to yours and. Granted, I also had a food issue. Um, but like, that's where I would go to avoid myself because I live alone. And so I am, if I'm home alone, then I'm spending time with myself. And for a long time, I thought even in my healing, that's'cause I hated myself so much. I hated spending time with myself. And I do believe that there's a modicum of truth to that. And so I would spend all my time elsewhere so that I didn't have to be home alone with myself. And there's this fear that built up about being alone and that is still being dismantled. But there, there's, but I love myself now, so I know that I'm not alone. Do you know what I mean? But anyway, I think this is where body, mind, and spirit really become intertwined. And that is, I believe very strongly that that spirit. You, the universe, God, whomever, like fill in the blank for what works for you. That we are an extension of that and that that's a biblical thing as well, that we were created in his image. That's the same thing as saying that like, we are God or the universe or spirit in physical form, right? And so that means that that resides in us. And the furthest, the more we run away from ourselves, the more we dislike ourselves, the more we put ourselves down, the more we distance ourselves from ourself, the more we're distancing, distancing ourself from that inner being and that inner being equaling God's spirit universe. And so when we start to love ourselves again, we start to recognize spirit inside of us, and we start to recognize how much better it feels when we're connected to that. And so by connecting to myself, I am actually connecting to spirit in a way that I'm not alone.

Track 1 43:35

Mm-Hmm

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 43:36

that I'm not being led by outside voices influencing my life. Whether that's the people who love me, who think that this is the direction my life should be going in. Fantastic. I love you too. This is my life.

Track 1 43:49

Yeah.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 43:50

I'm gonna connect to myself and my spirit, and we're gonna set aside together. Um, a lot of the people that I read and follow talk about co-creating their life with the universe. I wanna co-create my life with God. We're gonna work together to live my life in the most divine and spirit led me led way, you know? And so

Track 1 44:09

I'm gonna interject real quick just to support that I have a friend, uh, so I Uh, was in the midst of some very big, very difficult decisions. And I'm like, I don't know what to do. I'm kinda like, uh, so overwhelmed. I'd like wanna be like, ah, that was all I wanted to do. But she was like, Becca, how about if we, instead of deciding what we're gonna do for the whole thing, what if we as if it's magic? What if you sit for a minute and breathe, just tune in to yourself and ask, like, just follow your own magic. And it, she's like, it will feel different to everybody, but just right now. Next decision. Where do you wanna go when you leave this room? Just the very next one. And I could like feel, because the word magic is just so fun to me. I could like feel this sparkly sort of thing leading me. To this door instead of this door. A simple like, like which door am I gonna go into? Not a proverbial door, a real door. Am I going here or here

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 45:09

Yeah.

Track 1 45:10

And I have just kind of led, led that to where is my magic leading me today? Like where am I? And if you take the word magic out, it's like where am I? Where do I fill the pull today? And that feels like co-creation because you can feel yourself moving a direction for the next step. But it also feels, I don't know, kinder more powerful. It has like a energy of like, where's the direction that I'm going to? And that kinder, more powerful energy feels to me like creation with source or life or what, whatever, or God, whatever your words are that you use. And there is something very distinctly different about that. It's purposeful, but it's also kinder. There's enthusiasm and. interest there. Not that it will always lead you to only the happy places. It will not. I've learned it will lead you to the places you need to be.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 46:04

are gonna have some human shitty moments. Sorry, I

Track 1 46:06

Yeah.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 46:06

curse on your podcast, but like

Track 1 46:08

when appropriate.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 46:09

that's just a thing. Yeah. exactly. That's just the thing. It's just the way it is. And I think that it's interesting'cause this also finding what feels good, following what feels good. you're in tune with yourself and with that inner being and with source or spirit or whatever, it's gonna feel good, period.

Track 1 46:27

like, good.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 46:28

so when you take that next feeling, good step, you know, you're moving in the right direction when even when it's scary. And that doesn't always feel

Track 1 46:35

There we go.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 46:36

it's the right thing. And so you're gonna do it anyway and you're gonna give it a chance. And what if it works? And you go from what if? And like, let's get excited and curious and what if it actually works? And then it does, and it feels so good. That, is that what you're talking about? But you have to get to a point where you, we are making it sound so easy, but I just wanna be very clear to your audience. That takes time. And there was a point at the very beginning, there was a long time, a very long time. Like in like two years in the last, so, so my journey started, um, in June of 2020, right? So here we are in November, 2023, and I'd say in the last year, I'm finally getting to a place where I finally know what I want. but, and so that goes back to what you were saying about when addicts can't even describe how they feel. It's because we get so out of touch with who we are. I can't tell you how I feel or what I want if I don't know who I am. My mom used to ask me what kind of birthday cake cake I wanted, and I couldn't tell her until I knew who else was coming so that I could figure out what they would want and I would get that.'cause I didn't know what I wanted. And I remember crying to a mentor of mine about how I don't know what I want. And she goes, Julia, that's because you stopped listening a long time ago. So one of the mantras that I encourage people to, to say to themselves when they're breathing is, I'm listening. listening to me. And then the first thing she encouraged me to do, and I tell people to do this because it really does help. Go to your closet, open the door and say to yourself, what do I want to wear today? Something as silly as that because how often would we just grab clothes and put'em on? No, no, no, no. What do I want to wear today? What will make me feel good to wear today? And start listening to yourself about what to freaking

Track 1 48:20

You wanna know

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 48:20

And then it's gonna grow from there. It really will. And then you'll be able to understand who you are, what you want. But it, it, it takes time. So don't think like seriously. And then you're gonna start to feel, oh my God, that feels really good. And then the next time when it doesn't feel as good, you'll be like, Hmm, no, I know that wasn't the thing to wear or that wasn't, you know, and you're gonna listen to the negative emotions too, because when you're feeling those negative emotions, something's off. Something's off, okay? We're allowed to have those shitty human moments, breathe through that 90 seconds reconnect.

Track 1 48:55

Yep.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 48:56

But you have to be conscious in order to do that. And how do we get that consciousness? For me, that is that three to five minutes, that's it. In the morning, just for myself.

Track 1 49:06

so

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 49:07

So my little morning routine.

Track 1 49:08

I was, I was just gonna say two things before we wrap it up. Number one, to go back to the closet thing, that's actually one of my and, my husband is aware of it too now.'cause I let him in on my secret. That's one of my ways that I know I have lost myself. It happens for me in my closet because I dress for different situations and, um, the religion I was a part of has a definitely a code of how you should dress and what parts should be covered and all of that. So I would look into my closet and I'm like, okay, well today I'm gonna be a professional, but this shirt has to be high enough that when I bend over, no one can see anything low enough that when I bend over no one can see anything. It has to, you know, make me look slim. I can't have a muffin top showing because I work in health. And so you of course have to like look healthy. It has to be tight enough, but loose enough. Yeah, it has to be. And I would just like stand and get like tighter and smaller and smaller and smaller until I would just be like staring at my clothes, seeing nothing that could possibly fit all of the things. And there has to be something that can fit all of the things. And still be in my budget and be clean and be like, my husband would take a shower and come back and I'm usually a fast person that gets ready. But if I was still standing in front of my, my shirts with like my eyes wide open, he started to learn to help me take a breath, which is what I'm hoping we can talk about next. So on your podcast, I love that you have, it's just for anyone else who wants to check out a cool PA podcast. Yours is called Our Daily Breath, right?

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 50:46

That's actually the name of the segment. The, the podcast is called Life After

Track 1 50:49

Life After Breath. Thank you. So the, our daily breath ones, it's like five minute clips that has a little thing that you're thinking about or something. You know, some tidbit of wisdom and then a breathing practice, and I think they are just so beautiful. They're simple. So tell me about breath work. Does it have to be complicated? Do you have to go to a big group and ecstatic dance afterwards? So tell me about your version of breath work and what, how you do it.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 51:18

My version of breathwork is very simple. It's really about prioritizing yourself by getting out of bed three to five minutes before anybody else gets out of the out of bed. Um, and that's what I was gonna say. My morning practice, first of all, I always say good morning to myself and to the universe, like, stretch and say Good morning. I look at the sky and I'm grateful for the sky. I'm grateful for the blue sky. I'm grateful for the gray sky, and start my day in gratitude. Then I, you know, grab my, my water and I go to my couch and I sit down and I like to play some music that is usually about five to seven minutes long, because then when the music's gone, I know that I'm done breathing. But, and it's not like some, like invasive alarm. That's what I do. Um, and I just set my alarm and I do some breath work, and it's literally just breathing. And you'd think that, you know, you wake up in the morning and you know, that's your reset, so you're refreshed and you're ready to go. But we, we all know that that's not true. We usually wake up a little groggy, a little like, you know, like, and, and that's cool. This actually what it does is you feel relaxed, you feel centered, you feel calm, and all of a sudden you're ready to, to face the day. And what it does, I believe very strongly, is by when you start to pay attention to your breath, what does that mean? What does the air feel like when you're breathing in? Is it cooler on the way in than it is on the way out? What parts of your body are moving when you breathe and paying attention to what actually happens while you're breathing? First of all, people get in their heads like, oh, I can't clear my head. My mind's racing all the time. Fantastic. That's important. Your brain is made to think that means your brain's working. Good job. Fantastic. That's not what we're talking about. Because when your brain starts to, or when you start to think, then you just remember, I'm breathing right now, and you come back to your breath. It's that simple. And you start thinking. The other thing that I like to do is when you're thinking about what's happening, your mind's not gonna wander because you're thinking about what's happening. Or if you're counting, if you're doing box breath and you're counting to four, you're counting. So your body's, you're not gonna like, your mind's not gonna wander, you know? And so you have a little bit more control. It's a really good way to kind of get started in breath work. Um..But what it does is it connects you to yourself. It starts to bring, bring awareness to you, and you take that awareness with you into the day. And what will happen, because it starts to become a practice, it starts to become a habit, is you're gonna go outside and all of a sudden you're gonna start noticing things. You're going to be aware of more than you were before. Oh my gosh, the sky is so blue. I never noticed the flowers on that tree before. Oh my gosh. Her dress is so cute. And like all of a sudden, anytime you vocalize or even think, but especially vocalize, something like that, that's gratitude. And I believe in something called the Matchback principle, which is the more you give, the more you get back. Right? So the more gratitude I'm putting out into the world, the more things that come to me that I will be grateful for. I don't just mean abundance. I mean like the more things I will be aware of that are already around me, that I'm grateful for, and then we start to realize, we start to be aware of more. We start to be aware of the thoughts we're thinking. We start to be aware of it when we call ourselves an idiot and we go, why would I call myself an idiot? I just made a mistake. Humans make mistakes, you know? And then we get to that point that we've talked about of like being in an interaction and, and remembering that you have the power to choose whether you want to respond or react. And I often tell people when they're first starting this practice, you can breathe throughout the day. If an email triggers you and you start feeling mad, walk away, push yourself away from the desk. I love to say, change your environment. Go outside for just a couple of three to five deep breaths. Come back in. But if not, push yourself away from the desk. Take three to five deep breaths, get back to you, reread it, and now you're gonna be in a more centralized place. What it does, it gives you this much space between you and whatever's going on so that you are in control anytime. This is a big one. This was a big one for me. It took me a long time to figure this out for myself. No one can make you mad. you get to choose how, whatever their de their behavior is, whatever they're saying, whatever their behavior is, you get to choose whether or not you're gonna respond or react. You get to choose if it makes you mad or not. Nobody can make you anything, so if you get that email

Track 1 55:41

to that point with practice. I mean, I definitely have been in the place of like, no, they are doing this to me. And I think ho, I'm sorry, this my dog

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 55:52

that's okay.

Track 1 55:53

snarling, grunting, pawing thing. It's not me.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 55:57

I need some attention, mom. I need some

Track 1 55:59

I'm like, ah, and he's just out of reach, so I can't give him his command for like, shush, just have a really good microphone. But, um, I think how we get to that place, like you're talking about, is by finding more of ourselves quicker, where it isn't just like pulled around on a chain by what anyone else is feeling around us or doing. For me, I'm, I'm, I pick up on emotions in a room fast. It's, it's not only a gift, it's a survival mechanism. Mechanism and can be, uh, for my good or for my ill and for others good or for their ill. And how I am starting finally to feel like I am the one present and not just pulled on the tide of everyone else's emotions is the more that I find myself. So

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 56:49

And all of it is a practice to reiterate what you said, but your breath work is a practice getting up, getting up three to five minutes early is a practice. Saying good morning to yourself is a practice breathing, practice awareness practice. Meditation is a practice, yoga is a practice. It's never there. There's no end result to any of it. It's all a practice. Remembering and giving ourselves the grace for when we do react.'cause we're gonna, we're human. It. It's okay. Let's let it go. And do maybe try to remember to not react next time. Remember, you can make a different choice next time. And the fact that like if you do react and you're like, whoa, I reacted to that. Oh my gosh, that's awareness. That's huge progress because how many times did you live your life and not realize you'd reacted? And so next time you might be mid reaction and you realize, whoa, I'm reacting. And so you can say, hang on just a second. I always tell people, have a bottle of water because nobody's gonna blink if you need to take a drink in the middle of a sentence because you catch yourself reacting. But if you're like, hang on, I need to breathe You know what I mean? It might, it might not work. But if you take a drink of water, nobody's gonna blink an eye. And you know that you've taken that time to put that bit of separation to maintain who you are and who you wanna be and respond instead of react. It is a practice and it all comes down, and my opinion to that three to five minutes in the morning of learning how to just be there for yourself. Be more in tune with yourself. Connect to yourself by just breathing three to five minutes. If you can only afford three to five breaths, fine. Get in the car, put your hands on the wheels, close your eyes. Take three deep breaths, you know, at the red light. Take three deep breaths through your nose, out through your mouth. I always like to envision cool, clear crystal, clear air coming in, like not tainted, just beautifully clear air. And then as I release it comes outta my mouth and like a gray vapor of all the tension and the bullshit that just needs to be let go. Anything that doesn't serve me gets out of me in those deep breaths. And that's how we start with those

Track 1 58:55

oh, that's just so beautiful. I think we sometimes complicate it and think it has to be more than that. One of my best helpers, which again is a practice when I remember to do it, but I remember the more that I remember to do my breath work,

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 59:09

Mm-Hmm.

Track 1 59:09

of my best helpers in a trigger. Is my breath. And the, the words I sometimes say to myself are like, like, I'm right here. I'm right here. And at first that phrase is like a, almost like if I was holding a child that's like, I'm right here. I'm right here. Only

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 59:26

Mm-Hmm.

Track 1 59:27

own child.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 59:27

yes, yes.

Track 1 59:28

then the more that I breathe and settle, the more I can go into the words like I, or I'm right here, like here, right here. Okay, what is here? And then I can ask myself like, okay, what? What is here? Is that I'm angry. Okay, what's here? Under the anger I am afraid. Okay, what am I afraid of? Like those simple questions and they literally go with my breath. The biggest, most powerful is when I get to the, I am right here. And then it, the words get down to I am like I am. And when I can feel myself. Full with the acceptance that I feel afraid or the acceptance that I feel something, you know, other than, other than what I apex want to feel, then I can come back to the conversation and it really, the more you practice, it takes less and less time. I love you're talking three to five minutes, that's doable.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 1:00:27

That's it. Start there. And the thing is, is that like I like to like to be present. When I need to get myself present. I will say to myself, I'm breathing in now. Right now I'm breathing out right now. I'm breathing in. This is what's happening right now. We are here right

Track 1 1:00:41

Hmm.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 1:00:41

And the other thing to remember, just real quick, is that what you talked about, the anger is coming from fear. That this is coming from fear. If you think most things come from fear and, and you know, you can talk about fear being an illusion and you can talk about what really is fear. Fear is our ego essentially trying to protect ourselves. And, and we can, like, that's a whole other podcast, but but like, I think that Remembering that like anxiety is fear of the future and worry of the future. Depression is fear and worry of the past, and so the more we can stay here and remind ourself I am safe, that is a huge one. Start with if you're like running around and Whoa, hang on. I am safe. I'm here right now. I'm okay. I am

Track 1 1:01:32

And for me, the safe came from'cause I never felt safe, but it's linking the two. I am safe because I am right. Here, like eventually in the here I'm like, wait, is anyone hurting me? No. Okay. Right here. Is anyone judging me? No. Right here, just, just right here. Do I have anything I have to do other than get back to myself right now? So the safety, it wasn't like a like, oh no, I'm safe. I'm gonna tell myself that a thousand times until I believe it, even though I know it's never true. Right. It was the, it was the reality of I am safe because I am here now and I've learned bit by bit by bit to make that a thing that I am proud of and that I trust.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 1:02:15

right,

Track 1 1:02:16

I'm wondering if you would do us the service of, just for the last maybe two minutes, for the last two minutes, would you, I'm springing this on you,

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 1:02:27

Yeah. You are

Track 1 1:02:27

Thank you very much, Julia.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 1:02:29

It's okay. I love

Track 1 1:02:30

But I'm wondering if just for the last couple minutes, if you could guide us through. What that looks like. So we might have people driving in cars, obviously keep your eyes open, but I breathe all the time in my car, but, but in cars or people about to go into a meeting or people trying to catch the last something. So if we were to connect with our breaths right now and bring awareness to right now, what does that even look like? How do you do it? Beginner style.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 1:02:55

So, um, I. Want you to get comfortable. Just be comfortable wherever you are, whatever that means. Just be aware of what you need to do to get comfortable that's sitting up straight feet, flat on the ground, wherever you are, whatever that is. And then close your eyes when you're ready. If you're uncomfortable closing your eyes, just cast your eyes down, that's fine too. Or if you're driving, please pay attention, Um, and what we're gonna do is we're gonna breathe in through our nose really deep and out through our mouths. And like I was saying before, imagine clear, crystal clear, clean air, all the way in and all the way out. Let's do that one more time. And this time as we visualize that clean air, we're gonna visualize that vapor of anything that doesn't serve us leaving our mouths as we exhale. Good. Now, resume your normal breathing through your nose, breathing in, and breathing out, and repeat to yourself without moving your mouth. Breathing in. Breathing out, breathing in and breathing out, and continue breathing. And as you breathe, pay attention. How do you feel right now? What does it feel like where your legs are hitting your seat? Can you feel the gravity pulling that down? Are, where are your shoulders? Are they tight? It's okay. There's no judgment. We're just feeling and paying attention, and you're still breathing and we're still repeating, breathing in and breathing out. But what does the air feel like on your nostrils as it enters and as it exit? Is it cooler going in than it is going out? What is your stomach doing? Is it inflating in your ribcage, in your lungs, what other parts of your body are moving? Sometimes it's your shoulders really feel what that breath is doing to your body. Sometimes we can feel it in our throat. And now I want you to remind yourself as we breathe in, I am safe. I am okay. I am here. I am whole. I am protected. And I am worthy. And real quick, as you breathe, I just want you to imagine someone or something that you're grateful for. Every time I do this, it brings a smile to my face, and I hope it does yours. Let that happen. And breathe in. And breathe out. Breathe in and breathe out. Imagine sending that person a big, heartfelt love. I always imagine that looking like a care bear stare from my chest and my heart center to theirs. But it could be a pink or purple cloud that you envelop them in. Whatever that looks like for you. Send that love to them today. Remember that when you send love to other people, it comes right back to you. So you can feel that love too. And when you're ready, go ahead and open your eyes. And I always like to remind my listeners that the day is yours, so go kick some ass

Track 1 1:07:26

Hmm. you so much, Julia. Thank you.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 1:07:30

Absolutely.

Track 1 1:07:31

If you would like to find more of Julia, we will have her socials, her podcast link, all of the things in the show notes. And thank you so much for taking time with me today and so many others.

squadcaster-38ba_2_11-20-2023_114754 1:07:43

been my pleasure. Thank you. so much

Track 1 1:07:45

Till next time.

1:07:45

What a beautiful conversation. Thank you for joining us. I think my takeaways are first that addictions, coping mechanisms, et cetera, they aren't even the real problem. The problem is what we are running away from. I think we run because we don't really know what to do with what we're running away from can seem scary and we want out of it. So I love, she talked about how to go into it. In more simple steps, like the power of the breath, the honesty about the situation where we have more understanding and less judgment with ourselves. I loved that story she shared about when she was doing the yoga and feeling terrible about herself and her making that decision. To talk to herself about the logistics of what is happening. Like, this is difficult. You haven't moved in two and a half months. Not, this is difficult because you're a terrible human. I think that choice of how we speak to ourselves is so powerful. And third, sitting with our real emotions and giving ourselves love for them. Like treating our own tears as if they are sacred as I picture now, like rubbing them into my face because they are a beautiful part of myself. The second takeaway was that beautiful story she shared of seeing her mother walk past the mirror and her mother. Speaking to her own reflection and saying, Oh, there you are. I just, it still almost makes me tear up. I have seen and known people who have lost weight like that. And it looks like they are just. Taking off five coats and you think there you are, that is the words, but I think the weight we are putting on is always about more than just the weight. Same as the sickness and the fatigue we might feel is always more than just the bug that is causing that infection. I love how she goes into that. And my third takeaway would be the power of breath in presence. I mean sometimes we just don't know. What to do with it all and when we can find our breath as she showed us to the present moment gets much kinder So I'm grateful for that episode, and I hope you will join us next week. It will be me flying solo with a different type of episode. So if you see daymakers in the queue, which you will next time, that is me leaning into a topic that can really make a difference in a day. This one is a really powerful tool for our physical or mental health, and it's easier than you think. We will be following Ryan Gosling's advice to get in the water. If you've ever seen the notebook, you know, the reference I'll see you then.