Hello Everyone!,
Happy first day of winter! I hope the weather is not too unpleasant for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere or wherever you may be in the world. I think we may have some rain on Christmas Day here in North Carolina, but regardless it’ll be great for me to be with family.
I hope everyone has had a great week, and I hope any shy people out there are making strong progress on changing their mindsets to overcome their shyness and social anxiety.
I want to thank everyone who has listened to my podcast so far and all the ones who are tuning in today. So last week I talked about shyness. This week I will talk about the personal destination of my podcast and my own life… And that is to be Dynamic! So I will refer to it as dynamism. That’s probably an uncommon word… but I like the sound of it – Dynamism.
Speaking of dynamism, this episode is dedicated to the city of Atlanta, where I lived for about 13 years, before I moved to Phoenix, and then here to Charlotte. Atlanta is probably the most dynamic city in America… or at least in the top 5. There is just so much there in terms of business and innovation and culture and entertainment. I’m glad I got the chance to spend a big chunk of my life there. Dynamism was always gonna be the topic of my 3rd episode, and Atlanta was always gonna be my 3rd dedicated city, so it’s pretty awesome that it lined up that way that Atlanta is the dedicated city for my episode about Dynamism.
So, being dynamic is something I’ve desired for myself for a while now. I want that take-charge kind of attitude where I can walk into a room and command attention. I want everyone to be impressed with me. I want everyone to desire to be in my presence.
Although at the same time, I will still always have that introverted side, so I don’t want the focus to be entirely on me and I want to be able to move effortlessly thru the room without everyone critiquing my every move. So that’s a little bit of a paradox I guess.
Some of that trepidation is because… With dynamism, comes great responsibility. If you become strong and dynamic and powerful, you also have to, or at least you should use that power for the greater good. If you become revered and respected, you have to have done something that is worthy of that respect. And that takes work.
You can’t just be dynamic without doing the work to become dynamic. It doesn’t come for free.
There are life tests and challenges that you have to pass to earn the ability to be seen as dynamic.
You have to give up large swaths of your time to focus on the skills and traits that are required to become dynamic.
Being dynamic sounds like a glorious existence where you reap the benefits of being viewed favorably by everyone. But it takes effort and hard work and strength and dogged determination to maintain. Dynamism implies movement and agility. And you can’t be lazy if you’re always moving.
For me, being dynamic is many things. No one person can be amazing at all of these things, but in order to be dynamic, you must try to work to be as many of these things as you can.
1) A dynamic person must be smart and curious. A dynamic person has to be educated. Now some people find alternative ways to become educated. A college education may not be the right route or may not be an option for everyone who wants to become dynamic, but nonetheless, you need to learn about a lot of things. Some type of education and learning is required because you have to know about many things and be able to do lots of things to be able to be successful and dynamic in life.
And you have to choose some particular thing to dive deeper into to get even more educated. My career started in engineering, but I dove deeper into learning statistics and analytics. To do this podcast, I had to educate myself on how to create a podcast. I have educated myself on places to go and things to do in Charlotte and I’ve done the same in every city I have ever lived and visited. Someone might see me as a little bit dynamic because I can provide anyone an itinerary when they visit Charlotte or any place I’ve ever visited. So the education required to be dynamic can take many forms. But it does help to be smart and educated and knowledgeable in whatever endeavor you make the focus of your life at any given time.
2) Another type of education is to be up on current events in the world. Watching or paying attention to the news on whatever medium you prefer. This is because people that you meet, especially influential people in the world usually know a lot about what’s going on in the world. And you need to know how to speak to these things to have conversations with them. As I mentioned in my prior two episodes, having a conversation with people opens the door to learning from them and making lasting connections and obtaining certain advantages from them so as to enrich your life, and this will lead you to becoming a more dynamic person.
3) To be dynamic, you have to be the kind of person that people want to be around. You have to have a generally good presence or aura about you… a presence that makes people want you to be near you. Where they feel that they can have a decent conversation with you… even that you will care about them, and that you will listen to them. The most dynamic people make others feel included and important so that they feel the same way back to them.
Now some people fake this. When they want something from you, they make you feel valued, but any other time they act like they don’t know you. For example, a performer on stage may act like they care about everyone in their audience, but when they encounter a real person who wants a selfie with them, they may be rude. Now I don’t have a personal example of a star doing that, so that’s just a scenario. In fact, I’ve experienced the opposite in nearly every case. Back in my days when I was driving for Uber in Atlanta, I had the great honor of picking up someone who is on the top of my attractive list – the former pro football player, Tim Tebow.
I still can’t believe that of all the people in the world, that I actually picked him up in my Uber car. I remember I wanted a picture with him so I asked to take a selfie with him with me in the driver’s seat and him and his brother in the back seat. But when I dropped him off, he actually offered to take a pic with me outside of the car. Technically, I can’t remember if it was him or his brother who made the offer, but effectively it doesn’t matter because he was perfectly in agreement with the offering to take a pic with me. So I said heck yeah, I’d love to take a second pic with you. That’s even better than the selfie! So that was super kind as well as dynamic of him!
Now why is that dynamic?! Because he realized the value that he holds in other people’s minds and hearts. He realizes the power of his fame and influence in other people’s lives. If I’m blessed enough to have that kind of influence one day, I hope and pray that I will always be kind enough and dynamic enough to be gracious to my fans. To me, that’s a part of being dynamic. You have to genuinely show respect and appreciation for other people in order for them to appreciate you and see you as a dynamic person.
And I’ll piggyback off of that topic for a moment. Atlanta is just a turnstile for meeting famous people. All famous people go there. I picked up one other celebrity while Ubering… Audra McDonald. She was very nice. I didn’t want to bother her too much because she was with her husband, but she talked to me when I asked her what brought her to town. She is super dynamic! She is one of the few multi-talented superstars who have won an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and a Tony! This is colloquially lumped together and referred to as an EGOT award!
I also met the singer, Keith Sweat in a hotel lobby in Atlanta! I extended my hand to shake his hand and he graciously accepted. He was kind and gracious… and in a sense, dynamic. I also was on the same elevator with Faith Evans. I saw Michael Strahan in a restaurant I went to. Atlanta is a truly dynamic place that welcomes all types of celebrities, and all types of visitors. And because it is so dynamic, everyone wants to go there. My girl, Janet Jackson lived there at least part time while dating Jermaine Dupri. I’m sure she would definitely be nice to me if I met her too. And of course she is a dynamic and accomplished person. Elton John and Whitney Houston lived in Atlanta too! Additionally, Atlanta is the home of CNN, the Centers for Disease Control, Delta Airlines, Martin Luther King, and John Lewis! Pretty dynamic there! And on a personal level, my two most dynamic and enduring and meaningful friendships came out of my time in Atlanta. One of those friends still lives there, and the other one has moved on multiple times living his best super dynamic and accomplished life and career!
4) Now back to other characteristics of dynamic people! A dynamic person needs to be in control of their own emotions and their own lives and everything under their watch. Janet Jackson said in her song, Control, “It’s all about control and I’ve got lots of it.” In a way, it’s just a song, but those are very powerful words. The line before that line was “Control of what I say, control of what I do…” This means not letting people force you to do things you aren’t comfortable with. You can’t let people change who you are in reaction to things that they say about you or to you. You have to know who you are and what you stand for. And you can’t let people disparage you and cause you to make you feel bad about yourself because you already know who you are. So that is self-control.
Controlling everything under your watch means you have to be a boss, whether that’s a literal title or just in effect. You have to lead. You have to be someone who is capable of making firm decisions. Someone who is in charge of something. It can be something ephemeral like an event that you are in charge of every now and then. Like, I was in charge of a few meetup events this year. Or it can be something long-lasting like if you own a business. Right now I’m in charge of this podcast and I hope that will lead to other things such as a thriving life-coaching business or something. My mother is the president of her retired teachers club in her mid-70’s. My sister, in addition to her main career, once led the parent side of the wellness council at the school that her son attended. My sister and mother are both leaders in several capacities in their current or former careers and even in extra-curricular activities. And generally a dynamic person is viewed as some type of leader or boss.
5) A dynamic person should be entertaining. And that may not mean what you might think it does. It doesn’t mean that people have to be laughing constantly in your presence. To quote another of my favorite singers, Britney Spears said in her song, Circus, “There’s only two types of people in the world… the ones who entertain, and the ones who observe.” Now she was talking literally about being a performer, an entertainer. But the metaphor can be carried over to whatever you specialize in. If it’s an outward-facing job, then you should have the ability to be engaging and interesting, and in a sense entertaining. You should have something to say and to be able to say it well. If you have to develop that skill in one small area, then that’s what you should do. Some people can do it off the cuff, other people may need more preparation and practice, like me. You have to learn to be able to speak about something that you love so that when you talk about it, you make people listen closer and begin to smile. You need to entertain them with your passion and your zest for whatever you like to do. Now you can’t entertain everyone. A country music performer can neveur entertain people who don’t enjoy country music. So it’s the same way with whatever you specialize in. But you should at least be entertaining and interesting and hopefully captivating when it comes to some topic or field.
Now can you do your job or task well without being entertaining or captivating? Certainly. But you can’t be that way and be dynamic! And dynamism is what I’m talking about here. If you’re a scientist. You can deliver the information in a written paper or in a low-key presentation. But in order to be dynamic, you have to deliver your info in a logical way and with powerful words and with clarity, and you have to say things in a way that appeals to the motivations and interests of your listeners. Because you can’t be dynamic without the ability to appeal to many people with your talents.
6) A dynamic person should be social and outgoing. They have to be able to talk to people in a reasonably comfortable way. Ideally they need to be a leader in social groups. That’s why being shy and having social anxiety is in direct opposition to being dynamic, in my opinion. Being dynamic is tough to do when you’re shy. Take it from me.
7) A dynamic person needs to make an impact in some way and have some kind of influence. Even if it’s just to share your wisdom or expertise in a way that improves the lives of others, which I’m hoping to do with this podcast. Some people are impactful and influential and dynamic by sharing their wealth by being a humanitarian, or by giving or volunteering their time to an important mission. These things can lead to them being seen as a dynamic kind of person.
8) Also being dynamic implies motion. Someone who is out and about… going places…, being seen. Someone who has cool hobbies and interests and they’re always seen taking trips or trying new restaurants or going to events. My sister loves going hiking on the weekends and loves photography and posts her adventures on social media. I do the same, but I tend to be more focused on posting things about showing off my new social life or going to restaurants or nearby points of interest. My mother even posts on social media. Now being seen on social media doing stuff may be viewed by some as a more superficial way to be dynamic. But I think it’s still an important part of it, because you have to be seen… to be seen as dynamic, right? You can’t be dynamic by holing up in your own house. You have to be out there… doing YOUR thing, and showing the world! Even before I had a social life, I got comments from people on Facebook, saying wow, you are always doing stuff, you are living your life! Of course my life wasn’t really that exciting, but I faked it till I made it. But the important thing is to be seen, out and about and moving!
9) A dynamic person needs to be strong and resilient. They have to be a fighter. They have to stare down the beast, so to speak, and refuse to let any obstacles defeat them. They have to be able to bounce back after struggles. I have had a few physical health struggles in my life that I overcame including back in my twenties when I had a debilitating and painful skin condition on my scalp called dissecting folliculitis. That illness cost me a lot financially as well as emotionally, but I refused to live the rest of my life with that condition, not even a little bit. And thank God I managed to come thru on the other side of that. I fought hard to overcome loneliness and shyness and feelings of inferiority and the feelings associated with coming to terms with my sexuality as a young adult. So by this measure, I’ve been dynamic for a long time. So I hope that the rest of my life, I don’t have to fight against anything again. Yeah right, I wish.
My grandmother dealt with a lot of physical pain in her back and knees, and I don’t remember her ever being bitter and angry. She remained a kind and loving person, all the while she kept fighting thru it.
My mother showed resilience when she had to undergo double back surgery this year. She was determined to not deal with the physical pain and limited mobility that she was experiencing. She found a good surgeon and went into her surgery fully believing that she would come out the other side with an improved quality of life. She had a very positive and faith-filled attitude. She took her medication and underwent her physical therapy diligently. And things worked out very successfully, which of course we are all thankful for. She was strong and resilient. Her positive attitude is what caused her to come through this ordeal. Her confidence in God and confidence in herself are what made the difference. Seeing my mother walk around with no pain after what she went thru, and seeing her go back to all her old activities makes her look pretty darn dynamic and strong.
10) And that leads to probably the most important characteristic of a dynamic person – You must be confident… in many ways! You have to believe that the Universe wants the best for you. You have to believe in your own worth. You have to believe in your own abilities. You have to believe you have something to offer the world or at least your part of the world. You have to know your worth is God-given and it is not determined by the people around you. It’s hard to be dynamic when you have insecurities galore. It’s hard to be dynamic when you are a shy, timid person. That’s why I made the decision that I had to overcome my shyness and social anxiety in order to achieve the goal that I set several years ago to become dynamic. And my desire to be dynamic is what led me to becoming a podcaster! I was confident, after putting in the work, that I could produce a good, maybe even awesome podcast. And even if I don’t, it will lead me to something greater. And if I do, it will still lead me to something greater either way.
11) A dynamic person has to have will power. The ability to give up some things in order to gain the big things. They have to be determined and dogged about achieving the goals they’ve set.
12) A dynamic person needs to be inspirational and motivational. Someone who can inspire and motivate others to live better lives themselves. My dynamic close friend that I spoke about earlier is really good at this. He has motivated me to aim for higher levels in my professional and personal life over and over again throughout the years. And many things I have achieved are due to me wanting to be kind of like him or wanting to show him I could do something impressive too. Now he definitely has a tough love approach to his motivation, but he is effective and inspirational and he shows his dynamism everyday.
13) A dynamic person has to be willing to take risks, and to be daring. That’s something that I am working on. They must break the habit of giving in to their fears. They have to feel the fear and do it anyway… when it’s appropriate of course.
14) A dynamic person must believe their own opinions and thoughts are important. And they have to be open-minded and believe that others’ opinions are important as well. But they rarely should believe that other’s opinions or judgements about them are important, with some exceptions of course.
15) A dynamic person should be willing to share their story with the world. They have to know that human stories are universal and there’s always someone who can benefit from their story. That’s why I’m telling my story here in this podcast. A closed-off person is never dynamic.
So that’s it. Now I challenge each and every one of you to find your own calling to become more dynamic. What are some dreams that you have been thinking about pursuing, but you haven’t pulled the trigger yet? What do you want to get educated about so that you can do it yourself? In what ways can you talk to more people so that you can make the connections that you need? What mindset changes can you make to increase your confidence? In what ways can you be more interesting, captivating, and entertaining?! In what ways can you gain control of your own life instead of letting others judge your life and your abilities for you? In what ways can you reveal yourself and your story to the world, and therefore inspire others? In what ways do you think you can make an impact in your own universe? What skills can you cultivate that would make an impact or inspire others? In what ways can you show graciousness and kindness to the people around you and make others feel they are heard and seen? In what ways can you make yourself more seen and heard?
So that’s my discussion of dynamism and what it means to be dynamic today.
Thank you to all my listeners out there all around the world. It looks like I had two downloads in India and one in Kenya! So that is very exciting!
Thank you to Atlanta for being the dynamic city that partially inspired me and motivated me, in happy ways and some not so happy ways, to become more dynamic myself.
I hope everyone has a happy holiday season. The benefit of starting my podcast in December is that I get to put out three episodes and then choose to take a week off for the Christmas holiday. But I think three episodes is just the right number of episodes to start this podcast off with, and to introduce myself and my mission to the world. And then I will be back on January 4, 2024!
If you have enjoyed this episode, and you got something valuable or helpful out of this episode, then please give me five stars and write a review. I look forward to any feedback you may have about this podcast and this movement I’m creating.
If you like, please contact me at one of the contact options listed in my podcast description such as Instagram or Facebook or Threads, or visit my website! Even if it’s just to ask me a question!
As always, remember to show up and DELIVER for yourself today and create a NEW dynamic version of yourself.
Thanks so much.
Episode 3, the Atlanta episode is now done!