Crowning Your Dreams: How Miss New Jersey USA Juggles Wall Street and Her Passions with Derby Chukwudi

This episode of the Power of the Ask podcast features investment professional Derby Chukwudi, the current Miss New Jersey USA and a 1st generation Nigerian-American born in Dallas, TX, raised in Lagos, Nigeria, and now resides in Hoboken, New Jersey.

Derby shares her inspiring story of juggling a demanding career on Wall Street with her reign as Miss New Jersey USA. She is passionate about advocating for financial literacy among young people to prepare them for a future of financial freedom and choices. On the podcast, she discusses the importance of building capacity, asking for what you want, and using your voice to make a difference. Her insights on leadership, goal-setting, and overcoming fear will motivate you to pursue your own dreams, no matter how big they may seem.

Derby Chukwudi’s Bio:

Derby is a member of the Global Investment Strategy Team at JPMorgan Private Bank in Midtown, New York. Prior to this role, she worked at the New Jersey Private Bank alongside a team responsible for advising ultra-high-net-worth individuals, families, and foundations on various wealth management matters, including asset allocation and investment portfolio construction, lending, and wealth transfer planning. Derby joined J.P. Morgan in 2018 as a Summer Analyst and returned full-time in 2019 after graduating with her undergraduate degrees. Derby graduated cum laude from Berea College with a BSc. Degree in Business Administration and B.A. degree in Economics.

Overview:
Personal Growth and Legacy (01:20)
Career Growth and Financial Literacy (17:34)
Networking and Asking the Right Questions (27:00)

Important Links:
Savvy Ladies
Precious Williams' LinkedIn
Lisa Zeiderman's LinkedIn
Derby Chukwudi's LinkedIn

Transcript

Lisa Zeiderman  

Hey ladies, welcome to the power of the Ask the Podcast where we ditch the waiting and embrace the asking for what we truly deserve. Welcome to the Power of the Ask.

Precious Williams  

Hey, we're so excited to invite you into our first episode of the Power of the Ask Podcast powered by Savvy Ladies. And I heard that there's a queen in the house. Her name is Derby. And my queen and my co host, Lisa Zeiderman is going to give you her intro.

Lisa Zeiderman  

Derby. We are so excited. It's our first podcast. And we're really honored to have you as our guest. This is Derby Chukwudi. Can you give us a little background, I know that you are first generation Nigerian American, and that you were born in Dallas, and that you represent New Jersey at the 2023 Miss USA pageant at the Grand Sierra Resort in Reno, Nevada. But I also know this, there's a lot of other parts about Derby that are also just as fascinating. So can you tell us all a little bit about yourself?

Derby Chukwudi  

Absolutely. Thank you so much, Lisa. And precious for having me on here. Like Precious just said, there is a queen in the house. So I am the current Miss New Jersey, USA. And it's just been an honor to represent the state this year to be part of the Miss USA organization whereas Lisa said, I wear a lot of hats. So I also work on Wall Street. And I kind of found my way in finance because I was always fascinated about how the industry works. My mom was an engineer alongside my dad, when she pivoted into investment management back in Nigeria. At some point, she had a small business and I used to be her quasi salesperson, a customer service person. I first signed a check, I think when I was eight or less than 10 years old, while I was supporting my wall, we'd have business. So a lot of my experience and my grounding really comes from home. So shout out to my parents, my mom is actually deceased, it's gonna be half of 10 year death anniversary this year. But my dad is still out there. So like they really enhance and focus on how you can build strong relationships? How can you put in the best work that you can put in. And I remember my dad saying do not ever be afraid of anybody. So I come from this fearless background. And I have also we always been on that path of Yes. And seeking, the more like there has to be more. So one of the things in my various media features that was written about me was like derbies on a mission to spread her family name across the globe. And I was like That is such a great title, because I really feel that personnel mandates to spread the family name. So that's what I think about legacy. I think about expanding my family name, letting the world know that, hey, you know, yes from Nigeria. But the places that your name, the impact can really get to, you never can think about it. So dream big. And I'm so excited for this conversation about like part of the ask because you don't get dreams if you don't ask. And sometimes those questions that were you asking yourself, and being courageous to ask those tough questions.

Precious Williams  

I'm so happy you said that. And again, there is a queen in the house. And so one of the ways. And so one of the things about the power of the Ask podcast, we're so we're so excited to really get into the nitty gritty. So we'd love to talk about strategies and define the strategies to actually live the life that you truly desire. But how do you, Queen Derby, create the life that you want to live, as well as being an example to others?

Derby Chukwudi  

So I think the first thing to realize is that your dream life is not a destination. It's a journey, which is what makes it very exciting. It gives hope. And it gives you the permission to just be and also gives yourself the permission to move on when you're done with a stage of your life. And that's something I've had to learn that is not just a destination, life is much more than Oh, I have this place to go or I would like to retire early. And that's it. So that's kind of like the first grounding moment of what I think a lot of what I think about personally, especially at my age, I remember having a conversation with myself when I was graduating from college in 2019. I said give yourself the permission to try different things. And I studied economics and I was telling myself the other day I said hey, for every opportunity you did not experience those people choosie experience, so there's always the opportunity cost. And when I went down memory lane I thought of all like as a kid, or even as kids, our parents pay attention to what their children are good at, we are really good at building, you should be an engineer. Well, you're really good at arguing with your lawyer. And while that is interesting, that shouldn't defy the path that people will take. And I did high school in Nigeria, and you had to choose the path, you are either going to the sciences, you're going to the arts, you're going to the social sciences, I went to social sciences, because I was partially interested there. But part of it was like you just didn't really know and like the path for learning. I told myself, hey, but you didn't go to the art class? Or what if you're an artist, but you just don't know, because you haven't tried. And I literally mean, I said, give yourself that permission to try new things. So when people hear my story, too, they're like, oh, Queen Derby, she works at Walsh, she works on Wall Street, she does this mentorship, she writes, a lot of that are products of me saying it's okay to try. And you don't have to win. That it's what is winning is what you define with us. But I don't think everything needs to have like a prize with this tag on an experience. So that's how I think about it.

Lisa Zeiderman  

So Derby, in living this multiple dream lifestyle that you're living, and that would include being Miss New Jersey, and also a member of JP Morgan Chase, global investment strategy team. How are you? Purposely living this multiple dream lifestyle? What are you doing to actually be able to do this so many different things?

Derby Chukwudi  

So yeah, great question for everybody. Literally, that was my top question I got last year and people are still asking me like, how are you able to do both, because for those who don't know, I worked, I still work full time and went into the office. As I was preparing for Miss New Jersey, when we went through, we started bank failures last year. That was a week before Miss New Jersey, I almost fell sick leading up to the week of Miss New Jersey, and then went back right into it creepy while preparing for Miss USA having my duties. I think the biggest thing I have learned and I tried to call today is the concept of building capacity. Here's what I say when I say beauty capacity. I remember the story about coming from Nigeria to go to college in Berea, Kentucky. And we had to write the essays for four critical reading classes. And we'll have a five page essay where something in me could not just think about an idea, type the idea and put it together to make sense all at once. And this wasn't me at 17, I was like this, my brain is not working this way. So we have to write every single thing on a piece of paper. Think through it, and then type. That was my process for a whole year. And it seemed so crazy, because everybody else was typing. Oh, that helped me kind of like massage my brain to stretch myself. And then from the summer after that year, it was like this. So one of my fun facts is I can type 501 to 10 minutes. And it's gonna make sense, and it's no crap. And I learned like, hey, you know, you can train yourself to build capacity, when you begin, you're gonna struggle, there's gonna be a learning curve when you keep doing it. And whatever these were Mom always said is you keep repeating stuff you try to do over and over again to your soul good at is. And for me, I find that when I do that, I've become so good at it. And also quick and fast and efficient. So that will give me more creative time. And for me, that was a way of like, oh, this is more time to do that already. And I really wanted to do something that I would not have been able to do if I couldn't get this done early. So I feel like that was kind of like, what helped me to build this multifaceted life. So when the opportunity came from New Jersey, it was a combination of Oh, you have capacity. And if you don't have capacity, guess what capacity is not static, it keeps building and expanding. And the question is do you want it to? And then the RFP was like, what is the opportunity in front of you? It's a one year opportunity to be Miss New Jersey to go to Miss USA you only go once in your entire life. Like, no question. What do you need to do to show up as your best self? Regards? Yes. Sometimes as long a night, sometimes as super early mornings. Sometimes that is you saying you know what, instead of me going out, I need to spend time working on XYZ because I know it's gonna prepare me for Miss USA. So those things that you call sacrifice are more like prioritization, because you know, time flies. It's almost tough at Miss New Jersey. So that's something that I kind of like kept in mind. My other thing, too, is the support system. So I got a lot of support from more senior leadership from my team members. is, and a lot of it was based on your built in brand, that people knew that Derby always is interested in doing something in addition to her work, Derby will not just only do her role, so it was a good brand and I already had three years prior. And then people also knew that but Derby will always deliver, no matter how hard no matter how difficult no matter how uncomfortable, she always would deliver, I feel like that really gave people the confidence that you know, she can do this, she can look Miss New Jersey, and still work here and deliver a boss. And then finally, I think, for me, it was just like, Hey, have fun, because one thing I learned is like the most fun jobs require hard work. I don't know why. But it kind of makes sense. Because you're going to have fun when you've actually delivered on whatever the work. And when you're really excited because when you're excited you go all out. So for me, it was like, Hey, have fun. You love walking, I kill it on the runway, when it comes to interviews. And also interview like nobody now let's have a conversation, regardless of who you are. These are themes that I genuinely like, there was no like seeing it as Oh, this energy, you're like, No, no, you're aligned with your strengths with your interest. And also with that whole community aspect of being the face of what possibility looks like inspiring people out there like, Hey, you can actually do what you set yourself to do, or set your heart to do. The question is, are you willing to put in the work? Yeah,

Lisa Zeiderman  

It's great.

Precious Williams  

I cannot tell you how much I am sure, least skilled in the same way how much I enjoy listening to you. I enjoy reading someone's bio and researching them online. But to hear for you. I graduated from Rutgers School of Law, Newark, and Newark, New Jersey. So I'm so very proud of you. And I'm sure when people hear, you know, you are a queen, you have this great position. It all sounds like everything was linear. Everything just kind of fell into place. But this is the power of the Ask podcast. So I want to ask you something. That may seem like a little off script, but I have to ask. You talked earlier about dreaming big. And in those dreams, and you're achieving them? Is there a particular dream you still want to achieve? And the second part of that question is what question do you have to ask yourself to move closer to it, knowing obstacles are coming? Yeah. Give it to us?

Derby Chukwudi  

So I mean, first of all, I have hope the answer is yes. Because I hope they're always dreams coming out there. But I think one of the biggest dreams I will say is what are the biggest things I would say right now. It's funny. It's interesting, because I'm in that period of like, you know, what is my next career opportunity? How do I grow from here? And one of the things is like, hey, I want to run a fund, an investment fund, I'm still developing the skills I need, I don't necessarily have all the skills I need. And I think the question I need to ask myself, which is what I've been doing for the past couple of weeks, is like, what is stopping you from going after an opportunity where you can learn, it's not going to be easy, because like it's not your traditional path. But it's different. But you know that when you're locked in, you're going to deliver. So I think that is not the biggest dream, but it's one of the dreams because for me, it was more like, Hey, first of all representation is key in the finance world in the investment space. But then it's also like, how do you get to the seat at the table, where you see how things are done. But you also have the power to influence me to add on in my different career exposures and experiences like this, it's good to be at the table. And I feel like there was a time where we talked about how getting a seat at the table in the city is not the beauty of yours, where you can be at the table and have no power and no influence. And that is not helpful. So it's like how do you react to table CLP and influence and be part of that change? So that's kind of like a dream I have and I always keep telling myself like him going like what is stopping you? And the answer is you just go ahead, what do you need to put in our work? So which is why I'm really grateful for the year 2020 To me, because I feel like a lot of the core tools I need to keep elevating that is my word for 2024 elevate a lot of the key tools I need to elevate. Live literally rep me. Like how do you stretch yourself? How do you show yourself this time which I can do? I believe when you think that's how much you can do, you're just scratching the surface. How do you ask for support? How do you show up in a room and say, You know what, I have something to say. And that's something I've been privileged to experience in my career, a lot of you are required bonus, like, how do I show up? At work? I just got my hair and recently ain't got to work. Like you're not thinking about, like, what are people going to say? I like her for black women, for example, is it such a big deal, a straight A corporate space? Well, how do you show up and say, You know what, this is who I am. And he's not going to impede my work, if I'm just gonna add to the quality of experience that we have here. Like, that's kind of like the mindset I've been having. But then I also realized your question, I realized that even though I'm so good, they're still afraid. And I remember telling myself last week, just go for it. Forget about this fear, go for it is not going to matter. Because on the other side of fear of people and opportunities that we need for you, people really want to get you there. But your fear is telling the opposite. So when it comes to that part of the ask, that's something I'm also like, taking away from this conversation, too, is like, on the other side of it, on the other side of the ass, are people who are saying, No, I'm sharing for you, I want to support you. How can I get you there?

Lisa Zeiderman  

So Derby, first of all, your hair is unbelievably fabulous. Jealous of it? So it's great. So there's no question about that. You know, when you talk about elevating yourself, I know that you have an incredible educational background, which probably really led you in terms of being able to elevate and being able to stretch as you said, you had graduated cum laude from Berea College, you had graduated with a business administration degree at Emory and economics. You also completed the Harvard Business School Online credential of readiness, the core program in 2020. And then you also completed the tuck bridge business school program in 2019. How did you go about navigating yourself in terms of education, and yet be financially mindful along the way? And then I guess my other question to you also, is, at the same time, you know, you talked about having a seat at the table? How does asking impactful questions when you're at that table influence your ability to elevate and to stretch and to grow in terms of leadership and your career?

Derby Chukwudi  

So I'll start with the second question. I think one of the things I learned in my current role at work is, my voice is so powerful, that sometimes I submit what my voice is to it. So when I'm in the media, and then I ask a question, in my head is like, Oh, that was just a question, like, No, that was a question that nobody in the entire room thought about. And so for me, I've been trying to reframe how I think about the questions that are asked, I always talk about the power of a good question. Like, when I first came to the US, I was I was, I was like, 16, when I came for college, 16 I came along, was going to stop, I had to stop in Illinois before I went to school in Kentucky, and I told myself, for you to navigate ACB, you just need to ask a good question. Hi, I'm trying to go to town and I'll see, then there's nobody who's not going to respond to you. And even if you meet a jack on the way, somebody else is gonna help you out. But if you don't ask, you're never going to get that direction, you're going to be lost, frustrated. And that's something I took into my personal career. And I feel like I'm in a room where I'm paying attention for you to ask a good question, you have to pay attention, or whatever you are saying, what makes sense, what does not make sense? If something doesn't make sense to you, I can guarantee you there are two people in that room that feel the same way. But if you're courageous to say something like, oh, you know, I have a clarifying question. What do you mean by XYZ? You get to see like, oh, there are people that had the same question to you. But everybody's like, hiding under the covers. And for me in terms of elevation, when I think about the word elevation this year, it was me reflecting and realizing that I take for granted, the things I do really well, are the unique aspects of myself. And it's like no need to give flowers to those tiny little details that make all the difference. I've been in rooms where one question sparked an idea, or one question brought a different perspective. But think about the impact of the absence of that question. What if you never asked that question? That is an idea loss. That is a perspective. But one thing I learned in college was never going to any boardroom. Any room without saying anything. You know, sometimes it's very easy to be in the shadows. Oh, I'm just here. It's like no, no, no. Even if you're like, Oh, that was a great point. Say something. Because first of all, your voice is different. People are going to pay attention to who's in the room. And when I think about women leadership, careers, elevation is very easy for Celeste. I'm gonna put the work together, let's put everything together to get us to the finish line. Or sometimes you really need to just be there, like, Oh, yes, we'll put this stuff together. But I'm here to tell you what we've done. So sometimes you have to be strategic. How do I position myself to have that seat at the table to say, You know what, we have a quick update, here's what the update is, or ask a question. So I happened to be at some high profile summit two years ago. And we had all these experts on crypto, talking about everything. And there was this one business owner, who basically said, You guys sound great, but I don't understand the game. And she was so bold, and she was a woman. She was so bold, but everybody remembers her. And this was a roomful of billionaires. But she really, truly said what was on people's mind where everybody's like, I don't know what they're talking about. Exactly. And she's like, break it down to me. And that's the land of opportunity for her. Nobody can ever forget her. Or you just give somebody else the permission to ask too, because the power of the Ask is not just for us, but it's also for other people. Well, I'm

Lisa Zeiderman  

I;m gonna say this, okay. I think that it was not just a learning opportunity for her, it became a learning opportunity for everyone in the room. And that's what's so important. Because your point about the fact that maybe it's not just one person who needed the clarification, there's somebody else who likely needed the clarification. Yeah. And I also think this idea of listening, and being able to have that conversation, I see that in what I do every day, I'm a litigator, you have to be able to listen, and actively listen and be able to ask questions. And so it's it's so important what you're talking about, and making sure that your voice is heard at that table and making sure that you are asking questions, that woman was very brave to do that. And as a result, she was remembered. She probably learned a lot that day. And so did everybody else at the table.

Derby Chukwudi  

Yeah, absolutely. Like your voice is valuable, like use it 100%. So undefined on the education piece. And being financially mindful. We all know that the cost of education in the US is especially crazy. And I remember getting admission to Berea College. So the fun fact about Berea College is not tuition, always the education. So I didn't pay for college, it was free private education, work study program. A rigorous schedule is hard. So a lot of people actually come because they're like, oh, I don't get to pay. And then you can't make like, oh, again, pay in terms of like, how you show up. It's rigorous. It's tough. And not everybody makes it. And you can get as many degrees as you want. But I think that was kind of like the first approach. I knew that one of my advisors asked me when I was applying to schools, what is your expected family contribution. And I was like, zero. I have five siblings, who has the money for a college education in the US. And so she gave me expert guidance. So the good thing about part of the ask, she was asking me the question to see like, Hey, how can I support you here as an advisor, and she had already researched new schools. And that's how I got into college. And ever since I got in there, it kind of opened my mind, especially when I started getting settled. The impact of oxygen organizations on campus political conferences, I realized, like, wow, there's a lot of opportunity, which one of us is known for the land of opportunity? The question is, Who are you connected with? Who are speaking to you? How are you leveraging the resources? So usually, you tell people, the same internet you're using to like gossip and stalk people? I'm out here stalking the opportunities. Where are they? I'm willing to need to write an essay of 2000 words to get a scholarship come me in 100%. That was the kind of mindset I was in, I had this thing where I said, I'm never going to pay for school. Again, never ever going to pay for school. So from the fiinancial peace, I am that person who says what resources are available? So right from college, I will write proposals. Here's why you need to sponsor me to this conference. Here's the benefits. Here's how I'm going to bring it back to the college and connect the dots and give back to the students. That was the mindset for me because I realized like there's a lot of opportunities out there. And even when you're not rushing in, how can you pitch to someone, or next already realize that this is valuable. Here's why you need to invest in me. I always tell people, we're always selling something. We're always telling us stories, we're always telling us why I mean, the question is, what are you selling? So that's kind of the mindset I came with. So even with the bridge program, I was able to finance, I think 90% of that program, through a different scholarship I had received. How did I find out about the scholarship? On LinkedIn, one of my friends had just wanted to call actually the year before. I was like, Oh, this is very interesting. I don't know what this is, so I'm going to write it down. And I did my research. I thought this was interesting. He had to answer some SEO questions, do a video for $12,000 100% Company in. So I used them. This one's for the program, I was able to give some Madrid, I'm always thinking about what are the opportunities that exist out there. But I also realized to like, the more people are putting in, you just give it on the back of your mind that to whom much is given what is expected. And there's also that thing called paying it forward, which is something I personally always do like I've supported people in different ways as it relates to education. Because I grew up in a household where my parents believe that education was like the super currency, it still is. Now the question is, how do you get an education in a smart way, or in a thoughtful way? And even when I do programs, do I still apply for scholarships? Some people laugh at the media, like, you work in Wall Street, I'm like, Yeah, I worked on Wall Street, but I'm not the CEO. But the whole point is, if there are resources out there, you leverage them. And then when it's time to, you know, give back, giving is always a huge part of that financing. And in terms of years to get your money. Good, because I know several ladies do a lot of things like financial literacy, money education, or but I think the balance to that is also philanthropy. How do you give back? How do you support people? How do you train people? So a lot of people are funding me. And I'm always looking like who can I sponsor What opportunities are there that can put my money or my time and resources into

Precious Williams  

their queen, I have to say Queen Derby I just have. This whole conversation is breaking up so much. There's a great queen. Her name is Ty Goodwin as she says when a woman steps into her purpose, another woman can step into hers. The story you gave about the woman who stood up and asked the question that I'm sure a lot of people in the room were thinking they all sound brilliant. They all sound wonderful. I don't even understand what they're talking about. Can you explain breaking it down into base elements? That is such a powerful thing. That's why we say the power of the ask, it probably put a lot of ease like, Oh, I'm not the only one. I think I'm dumb. I'm thinking whatever. What you just said about philanthropy and paying it forward. Louisa is a top notch divorce attorney. I'm a former attorney. But we also say the former. We are taught that you never ask a question that you don't already know the answer to. But realistically, for maybe non attorneys. You don't always know the right questions to ask. And that's where fear comes in you face everything and rise. Or you I guess Forget everything and run? What was the hardest question you've ever had to ask of yourself or anyone else? The hardest question you've ever had to ask not even knowing the information coming? And how did you continue to just ask the question, whether it made you look crazy or not? Or you thought you looked? Good? How did you overcome the fear of asking the question? And what did you ask?

Derby Chukwudi  

So I'm gonna say that when we think about asking questions, and the fear that comes, a lot of it is very easy to say like, oh, you know, I'm going to group a work. You don't want to sound crazy and funny. I think those are legit fears. But I think the biggest or the most difficult questions, I've had to ask myself. So for example, when I was going to compete in 2021, I did the interview because you have a phone interview for you're invited to nationals to states competition. And I loved the interview. Again, I already said I could do that in my sleep. And when I was done, I kept telling myself, you cannot do this. Absolutely not. Like you're working and we're in the middle of a pandemic, no chance. And I asked myself, Why is that going to work? But I had to go deeper. And I feel like those are the most difficult Questions to deeper? Why can we do this? And then that's where I see the ugly head of fear. Because you're afraid, you're putting yourself out there, people are gonna judge you, you could probably make comments By comparing those different thoughts. And is that okay? That's a fair reason for no one to compete. But let's dig in further and see like, why would this be a good opportunity? And I feel like those are the kind of questions that are the hardest because flattery is you being willing to go deep down is very easy. We were in a fast paced world, there's always something happening and I want to get to work, get the work done, meet the client, go home, and let's do it all over again. But I find that those moments when I see it, during the pandemic, it was also evidence, it was almost like, my thoughts were so loud. And it's like, okay, you're seeing all these inspirational stuff, which you mean. But let's dig deep to where you're saying to yourself, why are you talking harshly to yourself? I feel like those are the hardest questions. Because like you said, you're not ready for the answer. Because the answer is always going to lead you to play. So vulnerability. And when you think about something like, oh, even at work, it's like, oh, do I want to show that I don't know this thing. But then that whole thought of like, oh, maybe when I ask somebody also, they didn't know it also feels relief to what made us be the face to be present to the question that was asked was like, oh, boy, it's better to answer the question or whatever people had. And no, you know, what you're looking for, versus not and struggle in that silence. I feel like the biggest questions are always, personal to yourself, because one thing I learned too, is that it is very easy to live on autopilot. Or it's very easy to get comfortable. It's very easy to live the lives of others. And I'm always asking myself, whose life are you living? Whose dream is it where you live? Is this your dream? 

Precious Williams  

It's like going deeper, going deeper.

Derby Chukwudi  

It's not easy. It's not easy. Because you can look 10 years, I realized, Oh, I'm living my mother's dream. And this, like, whoa, everybody knows this word, deliver letters, do what it's like, when the beautiful thing about those experiences is it gives you that permission to even start again. Like you live this dream, you've figured this out, but sometimes it just feels like I should just keep going on this path. Because I already put in so much. That is what we call sunk costs in economics, like, it doesn't pay whether you keep moving forward, or you stay stuck, man is done. So you get that choice to move. So I think a lot of the power of the ask  is courage. You need courage. You need to be really honest. I feel a lot like our society, we just say things that we want people to hear. It's like, No, you're gonna be 100% honest. And as an athlete, I feel like bass helped me because I'm like, Hey, did you do great or not? It's a yes or no question. Like, yes, there are situational things that happen though, always, always, when you didn't do great on someone's like, Oh, you were amazing. You know, they're lying to you. And yes, sometimes we have our inner critic like, there's the honest part of you, that knows how much more you could have done. So I think those are the biggest questions, but every time I come from a tough question, and they lean into it's, it's not pretty, it's ugly. It's hard. That's when you're like, Oh, I'm gonna watch that Netflix show instead? Or I'm going to go here with our friends like, no, no, no, no, keep leaning into it's like, on the other side, is the better version of who you're experiencing right now. But you're not going to get there. If you don't lean into it.

Lisa Zeiderman  

You know, Derby. It's not an accident that you are as successful as you are, that you have done all the things that you do, and that you're able to find the ability, the capacity as you say, to stretch yourself so that you can do the work of JP Morgan and also be Miss New Jersey USA. Okay, this is not an accident. And I guess my big question, and it's really what our podcast is about, in a lot of ways, is how and why do women need to dig deep as you say, find that they have courage? Be honest with themselves, so that they can ask and find that Power of the Ask to come to the table? How does that and why is it so important for women financially? Why is the power of the ass so important and so critical for women financially?

Derby Chukwudi  

I think it's critical because it opens your eyes to see what is possible. A opens your eyes to see who people who are out there are in for you or not, and based on the result or the outcome, you can be strategic and figure out like where, what the next line of action is. Like when we don't ask I tell people, what is the worst that can happen? Somebody tells you no. Okay, it's just another word in the dictionary. Keep moving. I remember I first before getting my first internship in 2018 had applied to hundreds of places. It was sad. It was depressing. At some point, I was like, I was frustrated. I was like, I'm not doing this anymore. And after that whole experience, I eventually got an offer. And I forgot about the frustration. What I told people who always tell me like, oh, afternoon 100 applications, nothing is coming. I said, What is the goal? If your goal was to get an opportunity, you haven't got to yet? Guess what? You're not there. So even if you didn't know, the rejections are tough. Don't forget about where you're going. Don't let that distract you and derail you, from where you're going, because that is just part of the journey. And I've learned, I've learned that no matter what, always ask, ask you a question. As to loan money. Ask for an opportunity. Ask, can I accompany you to that point in meeting us like you are younger? Rising periodogram? Women? Yep. Ask to be involved in a volunteer service. So that's something I actually was able to lean into this past year, when I got crowned Miss New Jersey, because now you have this opportunity to influence and reach out to people. So guess what? I was asking it, I was reaching out like, Hey, I miss New Jersey. And every day I see you have this coming up? Would you like me to be there? And I'm still asking you. And I'm like, hey, that's really interesting. I would love to be a part of that. Let me know if there's an opportunity, because he wants to say no. But then even in that note, there's a blessing because you're making the connection. And he can come back two weeks ago, we talked about how pushy that didn't work out. But guess what? We're connected. And down the line, somebody remembers you and says, Oh, we talked about these days and opportunities, are you happy? So I think the power they asked to not be limited, even just to money, the way I think about it, money is very important. We have bills to pay, we have wells to generate, what I always say, I've recently seen money is paper, the most valuable currency is relationships. As for the mentor, ask the question, ask the tough question. Show up, be there, always asked. I remember studying at JPMorgan, we had to train it. And there was a senior executive then who said, Oh, I need someone to roleplay with me, who likes to roleplay in a room full of 350 people. I was the only one there to raise my hands, and had done programming on called sponsors for educational opportunity SEO. And one of the core things they teach you is you always raise your hand, I don't care what they ask you, you always raise your hand. And then it was like why roleplay with this senior executive. And that was already like a door opening down the line. I could always reference like, hey, you know, we made that training. Do you have any second, and you would always respond to me, he would always like, entertain and give me that access. So that's kind of like what I think about is not just limited to money, he's like relationship, because some of those relationships are going to open doors of even greater opportunities that will tell you what they're going to let you know, information that you will never have known if you didn't have the access. But always ask when you walk into that room, and you add the events or you want to be by yourself, remember, here's an opportunity to ask. And you can literally simply say, What is your name and start a conversation because the Power of the Ask is not just transactional. I don't want to take from you is a two way street is I see you, I hear you. And I want to add to whatever perspective that you have. And maybe from that conversation, more money comes out of it. Maybe a fellowship comes out of it. Maybe a promotion comes out of practicing asking and I know there's different theories out there. Some people are like, Oh, he asked for the most impossible things that he knows. Nobody's ever going to give him three things. Because we hear no every single day, you get this desensitized to know. I just keep asking. Why do you think about it? And I know Steve Harvey had this thing about like 300 things that you want to experience in your life that we don't know how to ask, we're not trained to ask either like you're trained to, I'm gonna figure it myself, which is like the craziest theme because how are you going to figure out this life that we're all figuring out together? Like so somebody's living the life that you live in or has lived the life that you're trying to leave? But he This thing is like, list of 300 things. And I've tried it twice, and never making it to 300 is like, yeah, because you don't know how to ask. And he's fine. He is like, over the next couple of years over the next three years, at least tend to settle those crazy things you have there. And it's not just like, oh, I want to buy a ps4. It's like, no, no, I want to be on the TED talk. I want to go speak at the White House, those kind of things. He's like, look at it. In the next two to three years, you would have done 10% of those things that you weren't there. And guess what? I remember mine in 2019. And then obviously, when you have pageant world and everything, it was like, oh, going to like Miss Universe, Miss USA. And, hey, four years later, he achieved it. So those are the kinds of things that's what I think about. That's why I feel extremely for women. Because when I think women are industrious, I just think about my mom, my mom, engineer, people tend to say, she could be in a room of 100 people, and every single person doesn't matter who's in the room. She was the only one that pass. But she was also a mom of five, she also had a business, active in the church doing all these things. And I'm just like, well in the world, do we do it? I feel like if women can realize that, we are so powerful. It does not make sense that we don't ask. We work hard, we show up, we figure it out. And it's really women who are also mothers who also have additional responsibilities. For me, it's crazy. I don't even know how it is. Sometimes I think about it. I'm just like, how, how do my parents do? I want to do it. It's insane. So just think that the one thing we fear is asking, does it match up? Because we're doing greater things than asking is the easiest thing. Oh, can? Can somebody show me how to do this? Because nobody helped me. It doesn't have to be difficult. Because actually, like sometimes we're used to like, very rigorous stuff. And sometimes just all you need to say is like, oh, what would it take for me to become MD? And you can ask that question as an analyst. So yeah, strategies, like simple things like that. And what's the word? Somebody saying? Oh, you're not going to get that information? You're not there yet. Okay, cool. Guess what? There's a million other professionals in the industry, and somebody is going to give me the playbook of what I need to do. So realizing that there's nothing that's impossible. People out there want to help you. You just need to find who your people are. What do you think? And you'll be surprised most of the time, the answer may be yes or not yet. And not yet. It's not a bad thing. Because one thing I learned this past year is trust in the timing of your life.

Lisa Zeiderman  

Incredible, you are incredible. And we thank you so much for being with us, with Precious and myself. Our very first podcast was the Power of the Ask, and you're amazing. we will be back in touch. And I hope you'll come back again. 

Derby Chukwudi  

Absolutely, we love the work that you do. I'm excited for all the women out there who are going to be inspired by not just the podcast was savvy ladies, and by each and every one of us because every woman has the lights that should spark another lighting for another woman. And hopefully this conversation is just that little spark that needs to give the woman listening the permission to ask, ask and keep asking. Never stop asking. But thank you for having me.

Lisa Zeiderman  

Thank you.

Derby Chukwudi  

Thank you, Queen Derby. Thank you.