Whaddaya hear, whaddaya say? Welcome to episode 12 of the Career Consigliere podcast, your no frills, no BS forum for navigating the corporate job scene. Jimmy with you, as always, for what we hope to be a highly informative and engaging half an hour, or so! Having spent the last few episodes talking about the “right” way to approach interviews, I thought we’d take a breather from the hardcore stuff and have some fun today. You’re about to hear some INSANE stories of crazy shenanigans that took place in real job interviews, as well as some things YOU YOURSELF can do if you ever land in a similar situation. And if you have any stories that can top these, definitely leave them in the comments wherever you happen to be listening from – I’d love to hear your harrowing tales. Podcast land: letttssssss get it!
All the stories we’re going to hear today come from an article in the Muse, and you can find the full link in the episode description if you want to take a look and read the whole thing. First up: we head to Brooklyn, New York to hear about some craziness that took place at a digital creative agency. For anyone who knows Brooklyn in the last 15 years, it’s full of the creative types. What used to be run-down factories, mills, and warehouses are now filled with start-up companies staffed by some very dapper and trendy individuals sipping $6 cups of coffee. Anyway, now the scene is set for you. If you’ve never been inside a startup’s lair, they’re known for their ping pong tables, bean bag chairs, and many even have a beer tap in the kitchen....because, you know: alcohol and productivity go hand-in-hand. Pretty laid back and feng shui kind of environment.
This particular office also had dogs in the place: yes, real-life pets that would hang out with you while you’re working. This was a big selling point for our subject of the story, as they claim to have even sold themselves as being a dog lover in their cover letter......another example of how critical and important cover letters are to the things that matter most in a job. Anyway, our dude or dudette here (the article doesn’t specify who it was), got through the interview with no trouble – standard types of questions, no fireworks to report. UNTIL, at the very end, while the host was walking them back on their way out, one of the dogs bit our subject on the leg. What should you do if this ever happens to you? Our subject gives us the dos and do-nots: DO NOT mention how much your leg stings, don’t casually confirm that you’re not bleeding, and don’t ask about their SOPs for reimbursing a suit with collateral canine damage. I guess this means they did all of the above, because he or she reports not getting an offer.
I’m sure these kinds of companies are insured for stuff like this, but as the world of work gets more creative and unconventional, I guess my reaction would be just to keep your eyes open and be aware of your surroundings. I myself interviewed at a startup some years back: in case you can’t tell, my wiseguyisms don’t exactly blend in a startup environment, and that was crystal clear the second I walked in the place. They didn’t have dogs, but I do remember people flying by me on skateboards while I was in the lobby waiting. And this is a true story: after one of my interview rounds, my host brought me into the kitchen where about 200 people, who all looked like they just left a sorority house, were gathered eating pizza and drinking green fruit punch. I had time to kill until my next meeting, so I was instructed to get in line at the pizza brigade, wearing a $600 suit, while everyone else was dressed in sweatpants, hoodies, and 90s band t-shirts. Literally felt like the high school cafeteria line, only this time I was the awkward substitute teacher that nobody recognizes. It’s no knock on startups – if that’s your thing, more power to you, and a lot of them are very successful. But what wisdom do we gain from this? If you’re spending time in an “new age” place like that, be ready for unconventional things to happen.....like a dog bite.
Here’s another story for you: this one has to do with a technology breakdown, something most of us are probably all too familiar with. Our subject tells us that they had just finished interviewing for a position at a nonprofit. Being over the moon with excitement, they decided to send their follow-up email to the executive director THAT DAY.......they clearly haven’t listened to the Career Consigliere podcast. This is part of why I don’t recommend sending follow-ups right away, if at all – check this out: They sent the email from their phone, with the intention to write “I can hardly contain my excitement about the possibility of working with your organization” (excuse me while I grab a vomit bucket). However, that’s when man’s best friend, auto correct, decided to show up and intervene, and that’s when “excitement” became “excrement”. Translation: I’m so excited to work for you that I’m going to wind up voiding my bowels in elation and bliss! This prompted our person to immediately CALL the executive director and apologize, moments after sending the email. Apparently she was cool about it and laughed it off, but our person here did not receive an offer.
People, people, people: where do we start with this one? First, I commend anyone that passionate about working for a nonprofit. They're notorious for paying WAY below market (I’ve seen mid-level people making HALF of what they should be), so you definitely don't do it for the escarole: you do it because you believe in the cause, you have an innate desire to help people, all very noble and admirable things, seriously. But this story is a textbook example of why I say to really scale down your follow-up strategy. Do you really think that sending an email that same day is really going to be what tips the scales? Look: be THAT good of a candidate, and follow-up emails become water under the bridge. Our person here got WAY too emotional, couldn’t contain themself (or their bowels, apparently), and sent an email while they were all giddy and not thinking straight. The result? A BIG technological faux pas, that really put them in an awkward spot. Now you look like a REAL jackass having to call the person you just met with a few hours ago and explain yourself on this. And it’s not even about the typo: any reasonable person understands these things can easily happen. Rather, this example shows a serious lack of emotional regulation, which should be a red flag for ANY employer. In the workplace, you have to be the 3 Cs: cool, calm, and collected: and our protagonist here was anything but. Why didn’t they get the job? I’d be willing to bet that this consideration was probably a big part of the reason.
Another crazy one for you. Our subject here flew into town for the interview, and after spending the day in the office, someone from the company talent acquisition team drove them back to the airport. When they first left, she apologized to the subject, saying that the emergency break was on and didn’t know how to release it. Easy fix: the subject took a look, figured it out, and our subject was able to help the driver do what she had to do. But that’s only the beginning: while they were in route, the car kept drifting off to the right, nearly hitting the guardrail, but at the last second the driver would straighten everything out. This happened a bunch of times (during what sounds like all of a 10-15 minute ride), until finally.....BAM! (car sound effect). She drifted too far right and slammed right into that guardrail..... on a bridge, no less. They pushed on and eventually did make it to the airport, but by that point the passenger side door was so smashed and inoperable that our protagonist had to crawl out the drivers’ side to get out of the hellmobile. And after coming within inches of their life? Nope, no job offer. After all that.......like Rodney Dangerfield used to say, “You get no respect”.
Good news though: our driver wasn’t drunk, like you’re probably thinking. Turns out when she released the emergency break, she got a pretty deep cut from the pedal, and apparently her fatigue behind the wheel was due to lightheadedness from blood loss......must have been a pretty deep cut for that to happen in such a short time. Real bizarre situation, but at least it wasn’t from any kind of gross negligence – we can all sleep better knowing that. The company learned their lesson though: apparently the subject’s friend had an interview at the same place not too long after, and they hired a car service to drive him instead of letting TA handle it. Haha, any wonder why?
Insane story, but what can we learn from this? Similar to the dog bite situation, it really comes down to being aware of your surroundings and not taking your safety for granted. Sometimes, depending on the kind of job you have, you’ll be asked to travel, and travel means you have to get in the car with other drivers, go out into parts unknown with people you don’t know that well – it definitely comes with its risks.
Here's another true consigliere tale for you. In the past, I had to travel to Mexico City for work a bunch of times – spent a LOT of time in Mexico, actually, and every time they had a car service pick me up: the company was always really good about taking care of you that way. This one particular time, Diego, a colleague from one of our European divisions, also was flying in for the same meeting and we met up at the airport, found our driver (holding up one of those signs with our names on it like you see in the movies), and away we went. If you’ve never been to Mexico City, it’s an experience. It’s a vibrant city with tons of culture, great food, and a lot to see........but it can also be pretty rough. And we’re spoiled here in the US with the safety and security that we take for granted – it’s a whole new ballgame in certain areas down there. The city also has probably the worst traffic I’ve ever seen, and I’ve lived in New York, New Jersey, AND southern California, and I’d say “Day effay”, as the locals call it, has all three of the others beat.
As a way of beating the traffic, our driver was taking every side street he could find: going down these real narrow alleyways, practically driving right through crowds of people hanging out in the street, kind of like the scene in the Godfather when they’re driving through Havana and Pacino gets real nervous in the car? Imagine that, only instead of an A-list actor, it’s me and Diego in the back seat. Finally, our driver takes a turn down some unlit path, pulls behind a building, and turns off the car. It was like something from a horror movie guys: Diego and I turned our heads in perfect unison to look at one another, with identical unspoken expressions that both said “never thought YOUR face would be the last one I’d see”. And after about 10 seconds, the driver turns the car back on and we started going again, back the way we came. He told us in Spanish, I’ll never forget his words of salvation, “Lo siento mucho senores, solo tuve que restablecer la navegacion”. He had to reset the GPS, and just needed a place off the beaten path to do it. We made it to our hotel alive, and able to tell about it. But BOY, was that a scary 10 seconds of my life . Maybe it comes from watching too much Breaking Bad, but at that moment all I could see was my own face on a Milk Carton.....realizing it would probably be my instant messenger photo from work that they’d probably use, which I looked TERRIBLE in. The point here? Our careers might put us into semi-extreme situations sometimes, and we need to always be on the lookout for any potential hazards: nobody’s going to have your back like you do. Can’t avoid all of them, but do your best to stay out ahead of what you can.
We’ve heard some pretty bizarre stories today. And you know me, I’ll never leave you hanging without some kind of constructive lesson to take away from the madness, so let’s impart some wisdom with today’s......consigliere call to action. First, the dog bite story. The dog bite isn’t so relevant as the bigger picture here: “unconventional” workplaces, that’s the word I’ll use. The techy startup kind of scene from this story, you know, the ones where everybody sits on yoga balls at their desk, everyone’s dressed like they’re at a punk concert, and you struggle to find anyone over 40. Unique workplaces like this pose their own set of challenges that goes a lot further than just the vicious bites of the pet dogs that hang around. These “new age” types of environments have a different culture than we’re used to in more traditional office environments. So if you’re already working in one, or if you’re looking to get into one, be aware that some of the norms might be pretty different than what you’re used to at another, more well-established company. HOW the norms differ can (and probably should) be a whole episode in itself, but for now, just educate yourself as much as possible, prepare as best you can from the research you do on the place, and make sure you have your rabies shots!
Story #2 – the over anxious follow-upper who accidentally told the interviewer he soiled himself in excitement. We’ve already said it, but this story is a great example of the importance of staying cool, calm, and collected in professional situations: the 3 Cs. Any company, regardless of what industry you’re in, what type of organization, what they do, and where it’s located, all expect you to be able to contain yourself. ANY type of corporate job is going to put you in situations that evoke all kinds of emotions, both positive and negative, and it is CRITICAL to keep your head regardless of what comes your way. You’re completely justified feeling excited to work for a company – if it happens to be your dream job, then good for you! Work can be very fulfilling, and receiving a job offer is one of the few party-worthy occasions that adults have to look forward to. But no matter what, you have to maintain your stoicism and keep your emotions in check. The company wants to know that they’re hiring someone who’s got it together, and can keep it together, when things start getting crazy. This is a skill that will never steer you wrong throughout your entire career.
And finally: the story about the rogue airport driver. Unfortunate turn of events in this one, but it really does illuminate the unforeseen dangers that can pop up in seemingly innocent, run-of-the-mill aspects of your work life: something as simple as getting a ride to the airport. I realize not everyone travels plane-worthy distances in their job, but regardless: it could be something as simple as an outing at a local restaurant, a conference in the next town, office happy hour, whatever the case. There are times when work will pull you away from your normal routine and put you in situations where bad stuff CAN and WILL happen, if you let it. ESPECIALLY when alcohol is involved: I’ve seen people get DUIs driving home from happy hour, and do stupid crap to completely embarrass themselves in front of senior leaders. I’ve also seen people get fired for “interpersonal shenanigans”, that’s what we’ll call it, at company events after a few too many cold ones. Bottom line folks? Be aware of your surroundings and keep yourself in check whenever the call of duty pulls you away from the safety of your normal routine. Nobody is going to look out for you better than yourself.
Sadly folks, that’s all the time we have for today. But have no fears, and shed no tears, because I’ll be back with a new episode every week. As they say in the industry: no listeners, no show, so do me a favor, and stay loyal! If you find value in my content, please leave me a nice review, tell all your friends, and don’t forget to like, subscribe, and follow on whatever platform you use to get your podcasts. Beyond the confines of your headphones, speakers, TV screen, or any other crazy contraption with the ability to stream audio, I also provide one-on-one career assistance, so visit my website at career-consigliere.net to learn more about me, book me for one-on-one coaching, join my email list, or explore some of the other career services I offer. And to all of you out there in podcast land, remember this: Who’s the boss in your career? You, nobody else.
