Episode 25: Leaving a Job Prematurely: Who's Responsible?

You've only been in a job for 2 months, and already you're thinking about jumping ship.  But why are you feeling this way?  What's going on?

In this episode, Jimmy walks you through some of the more common reasons why people might leave a job prematurely.  He'll help you point out when it's the organization's fault, but also when the responsibility falls on the employee.  Enjoy!

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Transcript

Whaddaya hear, whaddya say?  Welcome to episode 25 of the Career Consigliere podcast: your no frills, no BS forum for navigating the corporate job scene.  Jimmy with you, once again for what we hope to be a highly informative and engaging half an hour, or so!  Today’s episode will be a natural extension of the previous episode about job hoppers.  Only today, we’ll be paying homage to one of our favorite corporate jargon phrases by taking a “deep dive” into the following question:  if a candidate leaves a job prematurely, what’s truly the problem?  The job, or the employee themselves?  It’s an interesting point of discussion, and can be very circumstantial.  I touched upon it in the previous episode, but there’s enough to say here that I thought this topic would be deserving of its own spotlight.  So podcast land, get ready for an introspection session:  letttssss get it! 

People:  the whole reason I do this podcast is because I’m your advocate.  It’s everybody for themselves out in corporatopia, and it can be a lonely feeling at times.  Yes, companies have support resources available for employees.  Things like ERGs, DEI initiatives, hotlines you can call, benefits advocates, focus groups, committees dedicated to certain issues, all that type of stuff.  But the bad news here:  These types of things might have been started with the best of intentions, but these days the more sophisticated corporations understand that there are political brownie points to be had for offering resources and programs like this.  At the end of the day, business is business, and no matter what “programs” the company has in place for you, you have to be your own advocate and fight for what’s right, with whatever situation you’re dealing with.  Something related to the job, something related to a health insurance claim, something related to an HR issue:  whatever the case.  At the end of the day, it’s you at the helm steering the ship, and nobody’s going to fight for you like you will.

I say all this not as some random sidebar, but to set the stage for this episode.  We’ll be going deeper into job hopping by looking at the two highest level reasons why a person would leave a job pematurely:  when the company should be accountable, and when YOU as the employee should be accountable.  And as your advocate, we’re going to start off here on YOUR side, focusing on situations when the company is accountable for why they can’t keep you on board.  We’ll look at some main reasons why this happens, and give you some strategies for being proactive and doing all you can to prevent this from happening.  So let’s get into it.

Company is accountable

The first, a bad company culture.  There are MANY different forms this can take, but here’s the rule of thumb I’ve always used.  Can you act like yourself at this company?  Now “act like yourself” doesn’t mean walking around in your underwear and using inappropriate slurs to great your colleagues:  what you do at home is your own business, but we’re keeping this within reason, people.  But I think you catch my drift:  at the office, in a professional setting, can you have conversations with people?  Do you have a few people you trust somewhat?  Do you feel welcome every day?  Do people generally react well to you?  Can you say what’s on your mind and have constructive conversations with the people around you?  And in general, do you feel comfortable at the place?  If you answered no to a good amount of the above, then the organization you’re working for probably isn’t a great cultural fit for you.  

And guess what, people:  this happens ALL the time, and usually you don’t know until it’s too late.  Sometimes, you can sniff this out during the interview process before you join a company.  As I’ve said in earlier episodes, if you’re treated poorly during the interview process, that’s a huge red flag and usually indicative of a pretty messed up culture at whatever organization.  But this isn’t always the case:  sometimes everyone’s cool as hell during the interviews, it’s smooth sailing, and then you get into the place only to realize that you’re caught in a toxic mess.  And at that point, there isn’t much you can do about it:  you can’t fix a toxic culture – there’s too many people involved, way too much at play, and it’s usually really hard to find the causal factors:  there’s almost NO way somebody from the outside who’s still learning the place can accurately diagnose this.  So if you’re in a situation like that, and the situation is bad to the point where you literally can’t take it, it’s affecting other aspects of your life, and you need to bounce, then that’s not your fault.  

The next reason why bailing on a job prematurely wouldn’t be your fault:  a bad leader or manager.  Do you feel supported in your role?  If you have a question or need assistance on something, are they there to help you when you need them?  If a complicated situation came up, do you feel like this person would have your back?  Does this leader take an active interest in seeing you develop further?  Do you feel like they’re someone who would celebrate your success?  Or are they the complete opposite?  Is this someone who micromanages you?  Do you feel undermined, or that they’re trying to compete with you?  Do they set you up to look stupid in front of other people?  Do they give you vague instructions for an assignment and then get upset when you don’t deliver to their liking?  Do they leave you feeling confused and directionless after a conversation?  Do they accept accolades for your work without giving you the proper credit?

We’re only scratching the surface on what a bad leader could look like and how it can affect your experience on a job.  It doesn’t take long either:  the effects of a bad leader can really start showing after only a few weeks.  I remember once I had a boss who was a SEVERE micromanager:  to the point of psychosis.  Sending my work back to me if text boxes weren’t properly aligned and left justified at ¾” margins, or if the shade of green I used wasn’t the EXACT RGB coordinates on the corporate ID guidelines.  She would just HAMMER me on asinine things like this, and as a result, the projects I was working on were getting submitted late.  We weren’t getting them done in time for the meetings that were taking place, all that kind of stuff.  And there she was blaming ME for all of it:  real crappy situation to be in, especially as a brand new person.  Think about it:  you have nowhere to go for support – no close friends or allies at the company, and you haven’t been there long enough yet, you have nowhere near enough credibility to go over their head (not without looking like a total jackass anyway).  A situation like this actually goes beyond micromanagement:  it’s a form of abuse.  

But there’s good news:  if the leader is the only problem you’re having, and the place is cool otherwise, then you can actually take some action to influence this situation.  If it gets to a point where you really can’t take it anymore, you can have a conversation with that person and let them know your feelings and how the situation has been affecting you.  If they’re a decent human being, they’ll understand and realize they have some changes to make.  But if they keep it up, or if the situation gets worse, and you have no other recourse, then getting out of there might be the only thing that saves you.  In my case, after my micromanaging psycho of a boss intentionally embarrassed me in front of the entire office one day, I asked her to meet me in the conference room.  And that’s where I told her, in almost these exact words, “Trying to intimidate and embarrass me like that?  All that’s going to get you is my two weeks’ notice, if you’re lucky.  Fire me if you have to, I’d almost PREFER it over continuing to deal with the way you’ve been treating me.  Or, you can shape up and find another approach, because what you’re doing isn’t working.  And guess what happened?  She never....did it...again.  Might not always work out in your favor, but at least you have the ability to correct a bad leader on your own terms.  And if you wind up having to get out prematurely, a situation like this would NOT be your fault.  

Next, another reason why you might need to get out of a job prematurely:  poor organizational management.  Is the place being run into the ground financially?  Are people around you getting laid off so regularly that you’re inevitably going to be next?  Is the company in the process of being bought or sold?  Are you consistently being asked to do things that have nothing to do with your job description?  Is the place dangerous and full of health and safety hazards?  In other words, is the place a complete circus act and you’re just another clown?

I don’t mean to pick on startups, but they are NOTORIOUS for stuff like this.  They’re usually run by relatively inexperienced people whose management philosophy is usually something like “drinking from a firehose” “hitting the ground running”, “building the plane as we fly it”, or some other dumbass corporate jargon-laden justification that’s code for having NO idea what the hell they’re doing.  You want a great example of this?  Go watch the Fyre Festival documentary:  I won’t say anything else – just go watch it, and send me an email after you pick your jaw up off the floor.  The sad part?  We only know about that because they made documentaries about it:  think of all the other startups just like it that are probably doing stuff just as egregious, if not worse, as we speak.  And don’t get me wrong, there are some startups that are run very well, but the bad apples in the bunch give all the others a bad rap.  But whether it’s a startup, or even a more “traditional” corporation that operates like the Keystone Cops, nothing you’re gonna do as a newbie can fix that mess:  only a bulldozer solves that problem.  Working for a company like that actually HURTS your resume more than it helps:  that’s the kind of experience you can do without, no matter what situation you’re in.  So rather than watching your career take a serious hit, if you’re in a place like that you have my permission to GET THE HELL OUT, and that would also not be your fault for running away prematurely.  

Employee is accountable

So now we shift gears:  we heard a whole bunch of reasons why bailing out early would NOT be your fault as the employee.  But there is another side of the coin, when the employee lands themselves in a pretty decent gig at a relatively solid organization, but chooses to leave early for their own reasons.  

The first common one I see?  Unrealistic expectations.  This happens a lot with people early in their careers, very heavily recent graduates.  You expect the world from this position:  you’ve built it up to be your dream job and give you all this satisfaction and fulfillment, only to realize after a few months that you’re not as happy as you thought you’d be.  Maybe the work isn’t challenging, or you’re not getting the kind of exposure or specific experience that you wanted.  There’s a lot of ways this could go:  but whatever the case, the job just isn’t what you thought it was going to be.  And that my friends, is on you.  

You might remember a story I shared in an earlier episode about my very first corporate job.  I was working for $30K a year, which after all my taxes and deductions equated to a whopping $816 every two weeks.  All I was doing was issuing credits to clear financial deductions, and changing dates on contracts and pricing sheets.  The sickest part was that most of what I was doing would never even get looked at:  it was all just meant to be there in case of an audit.  So there I was, a straight-A college student with every award and accolade possible, told that I was going to fly high my whole career, doing this type of mind-numbing, intelligence-insulting work all day for barely more than a poverty-level wage.  And don’t get me wrong:  I was tempted to leave there as well – there were a bunch of my fellow colleagues, also recent graduates, that felt the exact same way, and a whole bunch of them jumped ship.  But in a situation like that, you have to put at least some time in.  Gain some experience, express interest in bigger and better things, and give it your all.  If after a year or two you see it going nowhere, then you can seriously start to plan your next move.  But any sooner and you probably haven’t given it a fair chance yet, and that one my friends, is on you.

Next one:  More pay.  Yes, the rumors are true.  I don’t have any hard and fast data in front of me, but go watch almost any YouTube video or read an article in just about any financial publication, and they’ll all tell you how jumping to a different company is usually the quickest path to a pay raise.  And it makes total sense when you break down the logic.  The average private sector corporate gig gives you a small raise every year:  usually somewhere around 2-3%.  A bit more in some cases, but this is a pretty representative figure.  Doesn’t really get you ahead though:  all it really does is keep you current with the market when you consider annual inflation:  cost of living increases, the price of consumer goods going up, all that happy jazz.  So yes, as long as they’re allowing you to continue to break even, the company can say that they’re giving you a raise and doing the right thing by you (because, technically, they are).

But guess what ELSE goes up along with the market:  starting salaries.  And there’s a lot of debate over this:  you always hear sound bites that say “Oh, wages aren’t keeping up with inflation, blah blah blah”, and in some cases it’s true:  there are a ton of cheap companies out there that mistreat their people like this.  But let’s say you’ve been in the same role for 10 years:  might sound like a long time, but this can happen before you know it.  You get settled into a routine, you’re the kind of person who doesn’t like change, and a decade can go by pretty fast.  Don’t be surprised if the company goes and hires someone to work alongside you, doing the same work, for 10-15% more pay.  Why?  It’s nothing against you:  it’s just that to remain competitive with the rest of the market, companies have to pay that in order to get someone in the door.  You’re already there, and obviously you’re satisfied with your salary and 2-3% yearly increases, because you continue hanging around.  But something like this can be a cold-hard dose of reality for people.  

If you’ve been around a while, and this happens to you, then you’re MORE than justified to go looking.  But if you’ve only been there for a year or two, and you’re just looking for a quick payday, there are a few things wrong with your approach.  For one, the market around you hasn’t risen enough in 12-24 months to make a lateral jump worth your while:  don’t be surprised if you get offered exactly the same, possibly even less somewhere else.  Also, you haven’t gained THAT much experience in only a year or two.  You won’t really be qualified for anything on the outside that’s going to pay you substantially more, since you simply haven’t had enough time to gain that kind of experience yet.  At best, you’d make a lateral jump, and wind up in the exact same boat somewhere else, while your laundry list of flashes in the pan continues to grow.  And that, my friends, would be on you.

And finally, the third most common reason I see for people jumping ship prematurely?  Issues with people.  Look, it can happen to ANYONE:  even if you’re the nicest person in the world, live a life free of drama, and meditate every day, you can’t pick who your colleagues are.  I can almost guarantee you that the people you’re working with are probably not going to be at your level of psychological zen.  And especially in a corporate setting, where there’s money and prestige to be had, don’t be surprised at all if you wind up working with people that like to gossip, do things to undermine one another, and just aren’t pleasant to be around.  Doesn’t mean they’re inherently bad people, but they’re not the people for you.   

But you can’t run out the door every time you meet someone you don’t like.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to contradict what I said earlier.  If you’re working in a sewer, and everyone around you is a rat, there’s no way someone that’s healthy, positive, and ambitious is going to thrive in an environment like that.  So if you’re trapped in a poisoned well like that, then getting out is probably the smart move.  Or if you have a leader that is REALLY hindering or even sabotaging you, then that’s also an exception to this.  But if it’s just a few bad eggs that you don’t like, who cares if they don’t invite you to lunch?   Who cares if you have to miss a few happy hours?  As long as you can do your job and you’re confident that you can be successful, focus on the important stuff and build your career.  I’ve seen people walk away from halfway decent jobs because the social aspect wasn’t 100% up to snuff, and that alone isn’t a reason to throw in the towel.  This, my friends, would be on you.

We’ve covered a lot of ground today when it comes to who should take accountability for leaving a job prematurely.  So let’s sum it all up and send you on your way with today’s........consigliere call to action.  

We focused on a bunch of reasons why a person might have a short stay in a particular job.  First, we looked at times when it’s the ORGANIZATION’S fault, which happens for a few different reasons.  One is a bad company culture.  If you find yourself in a toxic sewer of a company, I’d recommend giving it your absolute best for 6 months.  By that point, you’ve seen some things and you’ve had enough of a chance to at least start making an impact, and you should be able to tell by then whether this is a place that has any potential for you to be successful.  If it’s a total abomination after 6 months, you have my permission to start looking elsewhere.  

Next reason:  a bad leader.  This one ‘s a little different from a bad culture, in the sense that you can potentially do something about it.  A culture is too complex and dynamic for one person to fix.  But a leader gives you a much more manageable task: it’s only one person that you have to influence.  If your leader is committing serious offenses against you, you’ll want to give time for enough of a pattern to develop.  This usually takes at least 2-3 months.  So as things happen, document them:  keep a journal.  Say the leader’s name is Tom:  call it something funny like “The Tom Chronicles” and save it in a secret place on your computer.  Every time Tom pulls some crap, make a journal entry about it:  date, time, and a detailed description of what took place.  

If it doesn’t look like it’s stopping, or if it’s getting worse, then you can confront them about it.  Be as professional and constructive about it as you can:  I’m NOT saying that the story I told you earlier was 100% the best way to handle a bad boss.  But regardless of what you do, as long as your message is clear, the bad leader should understand where you’re coming from.  Maybe they’ll make some changes and your relationship will improve.  But if not, or if their behavior gets worse, then you have my permission to bail.  They clearly don’t care about you or how you feel, and you’ll never be successful working for, or even anywhere near them.

Next, poor organizational management.  Real simple folks:  if the place is circling the drain, if everyone around you is incompetent, and if you’re just generally feeling like an act in a three-ring circus, it’s entirely possible that you just landed at a crappy company.  But again, don’t do anything rash.  Try your best to be all you can be and to maximize your potential to the fullest.  Again, I recommend 6 months.  Give it a solid 6 months of doing your best, and if things don’t seem to be headed in a good direction, polish up the resume and start thinking about the next move.  

On the other hand, this episode also talked about times when the responsibility for leaving a job prematurely falls on YOU as the employee.  First, we looked at unrealistic expectations.  If you’re experienced, the best thing you can do is ask all the right questions during an interview to make sure the work is something that’ll be adequately challenging, and something you’ll enjoy doing.  You’ll get better at doing this the more experience you rack up, and eventually you’ll get it right.  But if you’re early in your career, you have to start somewhere and build your experience.  And usually this means doing a job you don’t like for at least a year or two before you’ve earned enough experience to really start playing the field on the job market.  Even if you hate the job, you’ll learn a lot of stuff working there, and this experience will teach you what you DON’T want, but also what you DO want, from your next role.  

Second, pay.  If you’re trying to score a quick buck by bouncing to another job prematurely, odds are it’s going to backfire on you.  You’ll wind up taking the wrong job for the wrong reasons somewhere else, usually as a lateral move, and you’ll essentially wind up right back where you started.  And when this happens, don’t expect much of a pay raise out of it.  Now if the opportunity elsewhere is a promotion, or otherwise a big step up in some way, then I’m in favor of pursuing it, provided you have the right experience.  But otherwise, slow and steady wins the race:  hang in there for a while, gain some good experience, and you’ll be WAY more marketable when the time comes to re-enter the job market.  Who knows:  something might even line up for your at your current company if you’re patient enough.  Not foolishly patient, because that’s no good either, but patient enough to make yourself part of the equation in that company and get yourself in the running for when opportunity knocks.

And finally, issues with people.  Real simple here:  not everybody at work is going to be your BFF.  In fact, in most cases, you’re probably better off NOT developing close friends at work.  I’m not against it, I’ve made some fantastic friends from work, but if you don’t, that’s okay too.  I can promise you this:  if you keep your colleagues in strictly a professional box, you’ll almost never have to worry about bigtime drama following you into the workplace.  But if people there are difficult to get along with, or aren’t accepting you into their “clique”, don’t let that alone be the reason you bail.  As a newbie, odds are it’s nothing that you did wrong, and it’s completely their issue.  This usually smooths out over time, as you gain more experience and credibility.  And the organization will also change in that time, so the clique that you know today will eventually disband, I promise.  Hang in there, do your best, and eventually things will come around.

Sadly folks, that’s all the time we have for today.  But have no fears, and shed no tears, because I’ll be back with a new episode every week.  As they say in the industry:  no listeners, no show, so do me a favor, and stay loyal!  If you find value in my content, please leave me a nice review, tell all your friends, and don’t forget to like, subscribe, and follow on whatever platform you use to get your podcasts.   Beyond the confines of your headphones, speakers, TV screen, or any other crazy contraption with the ability to stream audio, I also provide one-on-one career assistance, so visit my website at career-consigliere.net to learn more about me, book me for a private consult, join my email list, or explore some of the other career services I offer.  And to all of you out there in podcast land, remember this:  Who’s the boss in your career?  You, nobody else.