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Ever had a boring solo car ride turn into something amazing? That's exactly what happened to me, all thanks to self-reflection! In this episode, I spill the beans on how I went from stressed-out moments of quiet to amazing moments of clarity and gratitude. Join me as I chat about self-reflection and mindfulness, and how they can jazz up your mindset and help you break free from those pesky negative thoughts.
Instagram @thehighvibe.guide
email - hello@yogawithjenna.com
Thank you for tuning in!
Subscribe to my weekly guided meditation here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2286124/supporters/new
Ever had a boring solo car ride turn into something amazing? That's exactly what happened to me, all thanks to self-reflection! In this episode, I spill the beans on how I went from stressed-out moments of quiet to amazing moments of clarity and gratitude. Join me as I chat about self-reflection and mindfulness, and how they can jazz up your mindset and help you break free from those pesky negative thoughts.
Instagram @thehighvibe.guide
email - hello@yogawithjenna.com
Thank you for tuning in!
Welcome to the High Vibe Guide, the podcast where I demystify the concept of raising our vibration. I'm Jenna, a yoga teacher, mum of three and passionate advocate for helping others to just feel happier. Let me explain to you how we can all live more contented and fulfilled lives and how it's so much easier than you think. Okay, guys, so there have been a few things that I've realised I've started doing since I created the High Vibe Guide and then since implementing it into my life. Some of these things I'm aware of. Others have kind of crept in without me knowing and I suddenly realise later on that I'm doing it or feeling a certain way and a recent episode. I did go into a few of the unexpected benefits of living a higher vibing life, but today I want to talk to you about one of them that I knew I was doing. I think I've actually always done this, but I only realised recently the benefits of this practice, and since then I'm now much more conscious of it and more aware of it so I can reap the benefits of it as much as possible. And this practice is self-reflection, and the place where I always do this, almost by default, is in my car when I'm driving, usually when I am alone in the car which, I'll admit, isn't always that often but whenever I am on my own in the car, I automatically start processing, I'm evaluating, I'm analysing, I'm reflecting, I'm creating plans and I'm really paying attention to my thoughts as they come up and I'm just so fully absorbed and engaged in that current moment and I'm making it out that it sounds like it's quite busy and stressful in my mind when I'm doing it, but it isn't. It's all really calm and I've started calling it my downloading time and, like I said, I have always done this. But it's only really been in the last year where it feels like a more positive experience, and that is all down to my mindset.
Speaker 1:Before, when, before I started the high vibe guide, when I was living on a much lower vibration, let's say, I always did the same thing in the car. Like I said, I've always done this, but it would be clouded by self-doubt and worry, maybe even overthinking things and over analyzing a bad kind of self-reflection, because I think that self-reflection can be good and bad, but when it's done in the right way, and what differentiates it from being good or bad, I believe, is dependent on your mindset, on your perspective when the mindset is more positive. I find that self-reflection allows me to gain so much clarity and so much gratitude is normally experienced. I sometimes have these huge moments where I just see things so clearly and I'm able to feel immense gratitude for the good things that I do have in my life, even on those bad days where nothing seems to be going my way. These little moments of self-reflection and download time allow me to gain some real perspective, and before, when my mindset wasn't in a very good place, in these moments I would feel anxiety, sadness, worry, fear. Even in these moments, and I think that just goes to show that our minds really are so powerful. It can literally shape our entire existence and it's all to do with our perspective, how we look at the world. So hopefully now, if you've been on this journey with me, maybe you're starting to see some little glimmers, some shifts in your mindset. Maybe we're breaking some old negative thought patterns or possibly even building some new ones, some newer positive ones, so that when you do carve out some time for self-reflection, you'll be able to see so many more benefits to your mindset and your outlook on your life and how you can keep moving things forward.
Speaker 1:So what actually is self-reflection? If we're going to define self-reflection, it's the process of deliberately examining your thoughts, feelings, actions and motivations to gain deeper understanding and insight into yourself, and it involves taking time to think about various aspects of your life, including your goals, your behaviours, your relationships and your experiences, to learn from them and improve your future actions and improve your future actions. So it's actually an incredibly mindful practice because it's engaging in the present, and I think one other key thing to bear in mind when we do carve out time for self-reflection is compassion for ourselves and non-judgment. We cannot be too critical of ourselves. So go into this time like you would with a best friend or someone you really truly care about. You want to be honest, but you do want to do it with care and compassion. So let's break down some key components of self-reflection so we can get a really good idea of what it is and what it's doing for us, before I then talk you through some benefits from self-reflection that I've personally experienced and then some different ways of practicing self-reflection that I've personally experienced, and then some different ways of practicing self-reflection, because there are many ways to approach it.
Speaker 1:But firstly let's break it down. The first element of self-reflection is self-assessment, so you really get the opportunity to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses. You get to understand your values, your beliefs and your principles and it gives you an opportunity to recognize your accomplishments and maybe other areas that might need some improvement and maybe other areas that might need some improvement. The second area, or element, if you like, is mindfulness. Like I said, it is a really mindful practice because you are being present and you're fully engaged internally in the current moment, even though you are possibly reflecting on past experiences. You are paying attention to your thoughts and your feelings that are coming up for you without judgment Remember, non-judgment is always important when it comes to being mindful and you're therefore noticing patterns in your behavior and your emotional responses.
Speaker 1:It gives you that time, I find, to breathe some space into that little moment you have when you're in a stressful situation. You know that space between when you've been given something that's stressful to deal with and then your response time, that little space in between where you've got to process and decide how you're going to respond. I find that moments like this, when I'm self-reflecting, I've got the calm in the car and I find that it just allows me to kind of transport into that little space, breathe into it and think, right, what happened and how could I expand this space next time so I can react maybe differently, in a slightly better way, possibly next time. I find concentrating on that area allows it to expand for next time. It's like you can think of it as observer theory in quantum physics Give something attention, all your focus goes there. Give something focus and more attention goes there. So just reflecting on that little space before you react, that little bit of processing time in the heat of the moment, the more focus you give that space, the bigger it gets okay.
Speaker 1:The third element is critical thinking, because this is something I was awful at school, by the way. Did anyone have to do that at sixth form? Just, I did not get it for some reason awful at it. But now, when it comes to critical thinking, in myself I'm great at it. But with regards to critical thinking, it gives us the opportunity to analyze our experiences, to identify what worked well and what didn't. We can also question our own assumptions and consider alternate perspectives. For me, I find I realise a lot of areas where I've made assumptions about something based on well, nothing really based on my thoughts, and remember thoughts are not facts.
Speaker 1:Mind-blowing revelation Thoughts are not facts. We form so many beliefs and values and perspectives based on our thoughts when they have no real grounding, because those thoughts themselves are then based on past values and perspectives and beliefs which are based on false thoughts. It's this very strange kind of ripple effect based on our insecurities, and these times, these moments of self-reflection, allow us just to tap into these, get a little more clarity, clarity, offer a different perspective, tap away at those false thoughts and beliefs, values and perspectives, just challenge them a little bit. What grounding do they really have? And what I find it also does with regards to this kind of critical thinking is that you can understand the consequences of your actions and your decisions.
Speaker 1:And the final part, the final element to self-reflection I've realised, I think, is goal setting. Because what I've realised that I do a lot in these moments because it's relatively calm I've got more clarity, more perspective. I can sensibly and safely define any personal and professional goals that are based on all these reflections and I can then create actionable plans to achieve those goals. And what I make sure I do is that I regularly review and adjust these goals as necessary, because nine times out of ten your goal or plan is not going to turn out the way you thought it would. It will always need reviewing, it will always need adjusting, and I do this all the time. So can you imagine how this process would go down if you entered into this practice with a really self-critical mind, if you were judging, if you were holding yourself to extremely high standards and high expectations? It would not go down well, would it? You would come out feeling like a total failure and it would be hard to see a way out or a way forwards or a way forwards. But when you go into this process with total honesty, but also with kindness and compassion in your heart and your mind directed towards yourself, you will be able to get so much out of this process, much out of this process.
Speaker 1:So some benefits of self-reflection that I have experienced personally Firstly is personal growth. It's helped to identify areas that I think need some improvement and some personal development. It's enabled me to increase my decision-making skills because it encourages more thoughtful and informed choices. I've realised that it's greatly increased my level of self-awareness, and self-awareness is the number one thing we need to have in order to start any kind of personal growth or personal development journey. So this self-reflection. It allows us to enhance the understanding of ourselves and our motivations. I think that my emotional intelligence has increased because it's improved my ability to manage and understand my emotions. It's a gigantic stress reduction tool because it's helping develop coping strategies for managing stress, because I'm reflecting gently, without judgment, on past experiences which maybe didn't go so well or I reacted in a not very nice way. It's enabling me to reflect on them, maybe think about how it could have gone differently, what I could have done differently.
Speaker 1:I have different perspectives on the other person's actions, why they may have said the things they did or felt the things they felt. Because so often you come away fresh from an argument or a stressful situation and this happened recently you are so caught up in your own perspective of what's happening, of what that person's feeling perspective of what's happening, of what that person's feeling, and a lot of the time it's skewed. You've got a little bit wrong because you're going off your own anger and your own perception on the issue. So when you can take a step back, breathe some space into that little area where you need to process before you emotionally react, the more you get clarity and perspective and, honestly, it's like magic. When you breathe, take a step back, these other little perspectives, other little thoughts, ideas just start arising and you think, oh, maybe it's like that, hmm, maybe I could have done this, which you just don't get. These realizations when you're stuck in the anger, when you're stuck in the hurt or the upset. You've got to remove yourself from it and come at it with kindness and compassion. And what I've also found is that it's hugely improved my relationships because it's enhanced my empathy and my communication skills.
Speaker 1:The way I communicate with Callum now is so different. I may still react I've said this recently. I may still react from a place of anger or frustration or hurt sometimes, but on those times I come down much quicker and we talk more effectively. We don't really talk from anger or heat as much anymore. I mean, we're all human. You know, we're a married couple. These things happen. But there's definitely been a shift, it's the best way to describe it. There's been a shift and I find that in all my relationships and I find that the ones that are dearest to you, the relationships you hold closest, I find often take the longest to feel any real difference in the way you communicate with each other. I think that's because they're your most important ones, they're your default ones, they're the ones you have all the time, every day, you know. So I think it takes much more effort and more time, but I'm seeing the little ripple effect. I can see how I'm different day to day, just with people that I know, acquaintances, and then friends, and then really close friends, then my family. It's slowly starting to just spill over, which is a lovely feeling. A long way to go, but I'm getting there. And lastly, I feel that these self-reflective moments are giving me greater resilience, because it's building this level of adaptability and resilience through learning from past experiences.
Speaker 1:Nothing's ever hopeless. There's always a way around something, there's always a path, which I never, always felt before. There was a lot of hopelessness before I started the high vibe guide, thinking this will never get any better. Oh, woe is me. What am I to do? But now I know there is always a path. It might just take a few steps back or a few breaths just to find it Always just one step forward. You can't see the end of the path, can you see your next step?
Speaker 1:And there are many ways to practice self-reflection, but for today I've identified five, apart from driving. That's mine. You can try that if you want to. There's something about just being in the car for me where I just zone out, I zone out and I just automatically go into this self-reflective mode. And now that I've realized I'm doing it, it's great because, like I said, I can really utilize these moments and I can really concentrate on keeping that element of non-judgment and kindness and compassion towards myself and other people. If I'm reflecting on situations which have involved others or planning engagements with people in the future, I just keep that kind of compassion and kindness for everybody involved. So that's just me in the car as I'm driving. But there's five other ones I'm going to go through with you now which I've thought about, and the first one is journaling.
Speaker 1:Now I find journaling seems to be a bit like Marmite. People love or hate it. I I'm kind of I to and fro, because there's just something about me, just me personally, that I'm just not compelled to it, I'm not drawn to it. I never really kept a diary as a kid I think I did every now and again, but yeah, it's never felt natural to me. But having said this, the times that I have done it for purposes of self-reflection and gratitude practice, even at the end of a meditation. I have found it to be quite powerful. You just find that things come up that wouldn't normally in any other kind of mindfulness practice. I get little moments of meditation sometimes whenever I journal and it's kind of guided, it's kind of led a little bit or prompted. Some really powerful stuff can come up. You get so much clarity, so much perspective. But journaling is just simply writing down regularly about your thoughts, your feelings and your experiences and reflecting on significant events and how they've impacted you and always keeping that kindness and compassion and there are. I mean I would find it really hard just to open a diary or a journal and start writing. But there are so many journaling prompts out there now, or actual journals with prompts in them there's. I see them on the shelves all the time. I think it was even in Waterstones. They were doing quite a few. There's gratitude ones, there's just normal journaling ones, there's manifestation ones. There's so many out there now that will help guide you on this journaling journey journey. So maybe that's for you. Give that a try.
Speaker 1:The second one is meditation. You know I love a bit of meditation. Never, always did For a long time. It's only been the last kind of I'd say nine, 10 months or so and guys I don't know what I'd do without it now. Or so, and guys I don't know what I'd do without it now. I honestly can't believe I didn't just start sooner. One piece of advice from me if you're looking to just feel a bit better, feel more joy, feel more contentment in your life, start meditating. And I know it's hard in the beginning. I know it's hard in the beginning. It was for me too. That's why I put it off for so many years, even being a yoga teacher and guiding people through their own meditations. I wasn't doing it for myself. And it might take a few months and that sounds like a long time. But it might take a few months and that sounds like a long time. But it might take a few months before you really start seeing benefits. But I promise the benefits are so worth it. So worth it.
Speaker 1:Practicing mindfulness meditation to focus on your inner self and this is what I find is my greatest benefit from meditating is that it allows me to connect on a deeper level with my inner self. Now, those of you that are not spiritual or not into the woo-woo or the metaphysical what I mean, mean by my inner self. I mean it can be referred to as your soul, your essence, but for me it's just that deep part of me. Maybe it's even that deep part of my subconscious, I don't know but it's that part of me that I believe that I was born with, that. Each of us have that part of us that we're born with. That never changes, that's unaffected by the stress and the chaos and the chatter of everyday life. It remains calm, unwavering, all-knowing, and I think this is where our intuition comes from. It's the eye of the storm. That's how I like to see it, and we all have that within us. We just have all these layers wrapped around it, created by life. You know the world, the people around us, it's all formed these layers. But I find that practicing meditation allows me to get a deeper level, to get a deeper connection with my inner self. It allows me to access that part of me more often and with more ease.
Speaker 1:So there are so many tools now that you can use to help you with meditation, and it can be as little as three minutes a day. Three minutes a day. The apps are pretty good the Headspace one, the Calm app, are really good. I do have Calm. I mean, I got the Calm app quite early on, but I think it is quite expensive now. So if you don't want to go down the app route, which is a little bit more expensive, youtube has so many guided meditations on there. It might just take you some time to kind of sift through what you like and what you don't like, because there are meditations on there. It might just take you some time to kind of sift through what you like and what you don't like, because there are meditations on there that I love listening to and they really work for me, but other ones I just don't connect with. Maybe it's the person, maybe it's the way, it's the, the speech they're using, you know, but it's all personal to you. I mean shameless plug here as well, guys, you can subscribe to the High Vibe Guide now for my premium content and you'll obviously still get access to all of my episodes. But every Friday I now upload a guided meditation and each week I will have a different focus or a different visualization, and you can do that for as little as four dollars a month. So, like I said, moving swiftly on from that shameless plug.
Speaker 1:The third practice ties in a little bit with journaling, kind of combine the two, but it's asking yourself reflective questions so you can pose questions to yourself such as what did I learn today? What could I have done differently, how did I feel about that experience? Use these questions to guide your reflections. It kind of opens up a little dialogue in your head. The fifth one is to utilise tools and resources so a bit of a crossover, I've realised now with some reflection. But utilise the apps or the guided journals that are designed for self-reflection. It's become a bit of a craze now, guys. You can find tools and resources to help you. There are so many different types of journals out there now that will help you just to get started. Look for guided meditations that have journal prompts in them, or self-reflective meditations, or you can just read books or articles, listen to podcasts on personal development and self-awareness. Again, it takes some time to kind of fine-tooth comb through them a little bit, but you will end up finding something that resonates with you.
Speaker 1:And lastly, more of a tip really than a different practice, but it's dedicating specific times for reflection. You know it could be daily or weekly. It could be daily or weekly, it could be morning or evening, but ensure you are free from distractions during this time. And it's just committing to yourself a little bit. It's allowing you to trust yourself. I found this recently I think it was Mel Robbins again who was speaking about it and another thing that resonated with me that she said is that just commit to yourself.
Speaker 1:If you say you're going to meditate for three minutes tomorrow, do it. If you say you're going to get up early and exercise, do it. If you say you're going to go to bed early, then do it. If you say you're going to get up early and exercise, do it. If you say you're going to go to bed early, then do it. Honour yourself. You will wake up the next day knowing that you've honoured yourself with so much more motivation but, I think, more importantly, more trust in yourself, because you can trust that you're strong enough to do what you say you're going to do.
Speaker 1:Because how many times have we woken up? I've done it for the last two weeks. Every day, I'm setting my alarm at quarter to six and I'm getting up to exercise before the kids wake up. And every single day, day, every single morning, I hit snooze, snooze, snooze, snooze, snooze, snooze, snooze, snooze and I just feel a little bit crap for the rest of the day because I haven't committed to myself, I haven't lived up to the way I said I was going to. I haven't lived up to the way I wanted to, I haven't shown up for myself the way I wanted to. But I've hit reset and I remembered this and I woke up this morning and I did it. I didn't come down and do anything too strenuous. I just did 20 minutes of yoga, but I still did it. So dedicate some time for yourself. It doesn't have to be a huge block of time, it can just be a few minutes. But decide how you want to do it and do it. You will feel so much better at the end, knowing that you can trust yourself. So when we incorporate self-reflection into our routine, it can lead to significant improvements in various aspects of our lives and you're creating a deeper understanding of yourself and facilitating continuous personal growth.
Speaker 1:I think for me in the past, the idea of actually getting to know myself better was very scary. I didn't want to. I thought I would discover dark parts of myself that I wouldn't want to face, because that would mean that I would have to not only face these parts of me that I didn't like or felt ashamed of, but that if I wanted to change them it would take a hell of a lot of effort and I felt that I just wasn't up to the challenge, or maybe even that these parts just couldn't be fixed, no matter how hard I tried. And I believe that this is a very common issue among human beings we like to stay in the misery, the unhappiness or the sadness, the anxiety, whatever our current state may be, purely because it's familiar, we know it well and our bodies and our minds are very clever. They adapt.
Speaker 1:We can find almost a comfort in these negative spaces and the prospect of doing something about it, taking the leap, making a change, putting ourselves out there, feeling vulnerable or facing harsh truths. It's all too scary and that's how it felt for me, and I don't think I'm alone in this feeling. I didn't want to face any harsh truths, but I was comfortable complaining about a lot of things in my life that I wasn't happy with. I knew I wasn't entirely happy with where I was, but I didn't want to put in the hard work to get to where I wanted to be and admitting that to myself actually saying it out loud. It actually feels quite liberating to own up to. I've known about that, that reluctance, that, that reluctance, that fear that I used to have, and it felt quite shameful to admit to it. It's like burying your head in the sand a little bit, because I think I knew deep down that it was always going to have to be me that needed to put in the work, that no one could do it for me, but I didn't want to face up to that fact.
Speaker 1:But when you do, when you do, it's actually incredibly empowering, so liberating. Yes, it's often scary, you do get doubts, but you can now carve out your own future. Start believing that you are an amazing person. Because you are, you can do hard things and those hard things do not define you. This is the human experience. We get put on this earth to experience all things, not just the bad, not just the good.
Speaker 1:So if I could give you one piece of advice today, it's to make some time for self-reflection, give yourself some download time. Get to know yourself better. You're really quite nice. It's true, we as a race are not always good at believing compliments that are given to us. Have you ever been asked by someone. It's that dreaded interview question what do you like about yourself? And just been completely stumped. This used to stump me, but I promise you are interesting, you are brave, you're kind and you are truly amazing. There is no one on this earth that's like you, so take some time to get to know yourself a little better and always remember kindness and compassion for yourself, because no one is perfect, trust me.
Speaker 1:So thank you. Thank you, thank you for tuning in today, sending you all heaps of love. Keep looking for the positivity and I will see you back here next time. Thank you all so much for tuning in. If you enjoyed today's episode, please share with your friends and family to continue spreading that positivity. You can find me on instagram at the high vibe dot guide. Get in touch. I would love to hear from you. Thank you all so much for listening and I'll see you back here next time at the high vibe guide.