Escaping the Past: Embracing the Now with Mindfulness and Healing

Are the shadows of your past darkening the doorstep of your present? Join us as we unveil the shackles that keep us anchored in bygone days and traumas, hindering our journey towards the life we deserve. In an episode that promises to shine light on the murky corners of our minds, we'll explore the insidious ways in which we become prisoners of our past experiences. We're taking a deep look at the signs that signal a life lived backwards, from ruminating over what was to shunning the possibilities of now. But fear not, we don't just lay out the problem; we arm you with practical strategies to reclaim your present. Embrace the art of mindfulness, hypnotherapy, and grounding exercises that can guide you gently back to the powerful present.

Here's to breaking free from the chains of yesterday and stepping boldly into the embrace of today! This episode isn't just about recognizing past pains—it's a clarion call to action, a blueprint for building a supportive network that champions growth and healing. We delve into the curious studies—from personable cows to massive, tooth-brushing crowds—that illustrate the profound impact of personal attention and present-focused activities on our overall well-being. So, if you're ready to shift your gaze from the rearview mirror to the vibrant scenery ahead, this is your invitation to an enlightening journey. Together, let's cultivate a life that's lived in full color, right here, right now.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:28

Hello everyone and welcome to ABGW. Amazing, brilliant, gorgeous, wonderful trauma recovery, redefined from struggle to strength. And we are here today for Rapid Rockets. Rapid Rockets are extra episodes where I answer a few questions, and today we are talking about what happens when you are still living in the past. The thing that I want you to take away is what you need to do so you can bang it out, take actionable steps towards working smarter and definitely not harder to have the life that you love more often than not. So some of these questions have come from Instagram, facebook and some private messages. So, without any further ado, let's dive straight in.

Speaker 1: 1:35

What are some signs that I'm living in the past? Okay, living in the past, especially from traumatic events and manifesting various ways. You might even find yourself constantly reminiscing about better days or, conversely, just ruminating over past traumas. This can include avoiding current responsibilities and relationships using the internet or other distractions. All of those are examples of escapism. Sometimes you might even show reluctance to accept or adapt to the present circumstances that you're facing. Maybe you're ill, maybe you've got cancer or some other illness and you're not wanting to deal with where you are. You're still thinking about the time before you were ill. These behaviors may be coping mechanisms to avoid dealing with unresolved trauma or the pain of the current reality that you're in. Research has shown that excessive ruminating on past events, especially traumatic ones, can lead to conditions like depression and anxiety. So if you are someone who's experiencing that, it's really important, as a first step, to accept where you are right now, because that way you'll be able to move forward, and this is the best place to move forward from where you currently are.

Speaker 1: 3:20

How can I shift from living in the past to living in the present? In a quirky twist, there was a study that found that cows that are named and treated with a more personal touch actually produce more milk, which is crazy when I think about it, being a vegan myself. The thing is transitioning from a past focus mindset, especially and in particular after a traumatic event, begins with acknowledging your emotional anchoring to past events. For me, recognizing this allows you to understand its impact it's having on your current life, and steps to shift into the present might include hypnotherapy to process past traumatic events, or engaging in mindfulness or grounding exercises and actively pursuing goals and interests that align with your current values and aspirations. I think sometimes it's really crucial to remember to establish a support network, whether that's through friends or family or support groups, to help create a living space that reflects your present and future, not just your past.

Speaker 1: 4:49

Sometimes we can get hung up on things that aren't important, and you know that the most important thing in moving forward is not looking in the rear view mirror because there isn't anything we can do about that. Is living in the past necessarily a bad thing? I think there was a study done in the Journal of Behavioral Therapy and in the study they found that individuals with a tendency to negatively ruminate about the past are more likely to experience depression. So while reflection and learning from the past are valuable, of course they are an excessive focus on it, especially anything that stems from trauma, can hinder your ability to engage with and enjoy the present. It may lead to missed opportunities, missed relationships and can prevent healing and the growth that you need.

Speaker 1: 5:55

So, understanding that the past shapes us? Of course it does. We're nothing but how we used to be. But it doesn't have to define our current and our future selves, and that's really key in looking at trauma recovery. What does it mean to live in the here and now? You know this reminds me of a world record that exists the most people brushing their teeth simultaneously in a single event.

Speaker 1: 6:27

There was this bizarre thing that demonstrates that sometimes the best way to live in the present is to engage in a communal, present focused activity. So living in the here and now and not in the past, especially in the context of trauma recovery, means actively engaging with your current life. It's about acknowledging past traumas but not allowing them to overshadow every aspect of your life. Now this can mean setting and working towards personal and professional goals, nurturing any current relationship that you have and taking steps to ensure your physical and emotional well-being. Now you know what it's like. You often look at things Either we look into the past or we look into the future but we forget to live right now, and I know it's like I've been a victim of it myself. But it's really important that we do the self-care, that we acknowledge the emotional healing journey that we're on and we focus on the now, really, really powerful stuff.

Speaker 1: 7:53

How can I stop escaping from reality? In an odd example of escapism, a man once faked his own death just to see how many people would attend his funeral. The lesson reality may seem tough, but it's definitely more rewarding than living in a fictional world. Escaping from reality is often a coping mechanism for unresolved trauma and to address this it's important that we start by recognizing the patterns and triggers of the escapism and replacing those behaviors with activities that promote mental well-being and and present engagement, like Hypnotherapy, physical activities, creative pursuits one of the main reasons why, even though I'm not a writer and I don't consider myself a writer, I journal every day because on those pages it doesn't matter whether I've been a big baby about something or I'm being Contradictory, it does not matter. It helps me focus on putting those things that are stopping me moving forward aside and enjoying where I currently am.

Speaker 1: 9:29

I've been in denial about my current living situation. How can I start accepting it? I Know sometimes it's really hard accepting the current situation, especially After a traumatic event, but one of the things I would always advise is a compassionate approach to yourself. Self-compassion, you know, under start, seeing that Denying is a common response to trauma can help and gradually trying to conform and Accept the reality of your situation, perhaps, like I said, through journaling or hypnotherapy or just open conversations with trusted people that you love. Breathing what was lost or what could have been is a natural and necessary process of your recovery journey, and accepting those things and moving on builds resilience, and that's what we want. We want to be able to. Even though we've experienced stuff and it's really hurt, we can gain strength from that and move forward.

Speaker 1: 10:52

I've been neglecting my physical health. How can I start taking better care of myself? People who have suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder are more likely to experience health problems, which also, to me, highlights the importance of physical care in any kind of recovery situation. Like me, I've been neglecting my physical health. I've been concentrating so much on what other people have wanted me to do in the last few years, especially since the pandemic that I've put on weight. I don't like the way that I look. Luckily, nia is working with me Nia, our co-host helping me to lose the £30 that I'd like to lose. So, for me, I at least I know I'm on the right course. And for you, neglecting your physical health can be a symptom of a trauma-related stress or depression, and addressing this, of course, will start with the small, manageable step-by-step takes. So, like you, neglecting physical health can be a symptom of a trauma-related stress or even depression, and the thing is that's so amazing when you start addressing these things and you start with small, manageable steps like establishing a routine for healthy eating, maybe exercising more, focusing on making sure you get enough sleep, scheduling regular check-ups either physical check-ups with your GP or being open about your mental health with a coach or a hypnotherapist can guide you towards a more holistic approach to your well-being and the self-care that you need.

Speaker 1: 13:05

I've been spending a lot of time on the computer to avoid thinking about my life. What can I do instead? You know that reminds me of what John Lennon once said Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. Excessive computer use can be another form of escapism. What you could do is you could try substituting the time that you spend on the computer with activities that foster more of a connection with the present, such as mindfulness, journaling, physical activity. Have you ever gone on a rung while trying to do something else? It's virtually impossible, but to me, engaging in hobbies that bring joy and fulfillment to your life is one of the ways that you can like distract your conscious mind and focus on spending things that really matter. Professional support, of course, can offer strategies to break this pattern and address the underlying issues, which is one of the reasons why I became a clinical hypnotherapist.

Speaker 1: 14:23

I saw that so many people, including myself, will either living in the past, ruminating on what happened in their childhood, blaming themselves for things that they couldn't control, or they were over-anxious about stuff that wasn't even going to happen to them. And I know, having lived as long as I have and seen so many days wasted by those two things. Living in the past or focusing overly on the future meant that I was missing out on so much that was going on in my present life, and I look back and I didn't want to spend any more time regretting anything. So embracing the present moment is a powerful step towards healing from past trauma, and I know, while it's natural to reflect on the past, especially when it involves trauma, living too much in those memories can prevent us from experiencing the joy, the joy and abundance and the opportunities available right here, right now. Of course, acknowledging past experiences is good, but not letting them dominate our lives. You open yourself up to growth, healing and the possibility of a fulfilling future. So remember your past has shaped you, but it doesn't have to define you.

Speaker 1: 16:07

Every day from now on is a new opportunity to write your own story, so get writing. Thank you for joining us today. Hope you found some of those answers useful. Your present here is valued, so stay tuned for more empowering content from amazing, brilliant, gorgeous, wonderful. And remember your journey to resilience and transformation is a masterpiece in the making, so remember to embrace it with open arms and let your story shine bright. Okay, we'd love it if you would leave a review, because we appreciate your feedback and support, and, if you haven't already, you might want to subscribe while you're here so you hear the next episode. So just wishing you all the best, bye for now.