Javier Negrete on How He Met Kermit, Healing from Childhood Abuse, Illustrating Kids Books, Teaching Others to Cope With Trauma, and Opening Catfé!

My guest on this episode is someone that most cat lovers on Instagram will know well - Javier Negrete,better known for the transformative turn his life took with the arrival of Kermit the Cat! From overcoming childhood trauma at the hands of a family member, to becoming a passionate advocate for animal welfare and mental health, Javie’s journey is truly inspiring.

Kermit quickly became more than a feline friend - he became Javie's source of strength, leading to the creation of heartwarming children's books and the establishment of the upcoming ‘Catfé’—a space where people can connect with and adopt cats.

Join me in welcoming a guest who celebrates the resilience, love, and the impactful bond between humans and animals, Javier Negrete!

Follow Javie & Kermit on social media @mrkermitmeow,
or visit their website: www.javieandkermit.com

INSTAGRAM & FACEBOOK @castandthecurious

www.curiouscast.co.za
shoutout@curiouscast.co.za

Transcript

Ron: My guest today is someone that most cat lovers on Instagram will know pretty well. Javier Negrete better known for the transformative turn his life took with the arrival of Kermit the Cat! From overcoming childhood trauma at the hands of a family member to becoming a passionate advocate for animal welfare and mental health, Javie's journey is truly inspiring. Kermit quickly became more than a feline friend. He became Javie's source of strength, leading to the creation of heartwarming children's books and the establishment of the upcoming Catfé - A space where people can connect with and adopt cats.

Ron: Join me in welcoming a guest who celebrates the resilience, love and the impactful bond between humans and animals, Javier Negrete! Javie, How are you, my friend?

Javier Negrete: I'm doing so good. Ron, thank you so much for having me today.

Ron: Oh, man, I can't thank you enough because I've been following you and Kermit for a while, and I think I speak for everyone listening when I say that each and every post you do no matter how much of a focus is on Kermit. Leaves us all feeling warmhearted. So thank you for sharing your life the way you do.

Javier Negrete: I really appreciate that. It's just this rare moment that I get to have with Kermit, and I'm so glad that I can share it with everyone.

Ron: It's so cool the way that it just blew up. And I'm sure you didn't expect it to blow up the way it did. We're going to get to that. But I figure let's start by looking as far back into your childhood as we can. I know you're a teacher, but what did you dream of becoming as a kid and how does what you're doing now compare to that?

Javier Negrete: Yeah. So as a kid, I remember always illustrating. I remember specifically in elementary school, I had a friend who would do illustrations for me and I would write stories. So we would just come up with these, like, little books for our friends. And

Ron: Oh, wow.

Javier Negrete: and today I like to do that. And it just it's so funny that you said that that that memory just really came to me.

Ron: Wow.

Javier Negrete: But I do remember, like, the teachers would look and are like like, oh, my goodness, we should make this into a book. But I never got to see that the end of that. But when I was little, I did write a bunch of stories.

Ron: Mm hmm.

Javier Negrete: And for some odd reason, I wanted to become an actor. You know, living in L.A., that was almost everyone's

Ron: It's sort

Javier Negrete: through

Ron: of everyone's dream if you're in L.A..

Javier Negrete: Yeah! And I kind of pursued that for a little bit. I joined Drama Club, did lots of performances. And then moved into graphic design, which I kind of dabbled in and did a lot of graphic design throughout my years.

Ron: Well, for us, looking at the stuff that you've done with that book, it doesn't seem like you dabbled. It seems like you're pretty damn good as a graphic designer. And that's coming from a graphic designer, by the way.

Javier Negrete: I thank you so much!

Ron: So what do the kiddos at school think of Kermit's social media

Javier Negrete: The kiddos at school are in love with Kermit. At the end of the day, they always say to me Tell Kermit I said hi

Ron: Awww!

Javier Negrete: and. For some good reason I am able to have them complete a lot of their work just by, mentioning, you know, Kermit, wouldn't be really happy if you didn't turn that in! And

Ron: Such a guilt trip

Javier Negrete: so I use it to my

Ron: like.

Javier Negrete: advantage and it works

Ron: Well done.

Javier Negrete: and

Ron: Has

Javier Negrete: love

Ron: he visited

Javier Negrete: it,

Ron: school yet? Have you taken him as an honorary

Javier Negrete: you

Ron: guest?

Javier Negrete: No No, I would love to. But I think Kermit's personality is just very homebody. And

Ron: Oh yes!

Javier Negrete: yeah, I don't want to make him very anxious.

Ron: Yeah. He does seem like a very I mean, I've had a lot of cats in my life, my family and I love all animals. And cats have always been a part of our lives. And I've never, ever seen a cat as chilled as Kermit is.

Javier Negrete: He is completely mellow. Yeah. Kermit has been really mellow from the beginning. I remember

Ron: I.

Javier Negrete: as soon as he came home, he just opened up to me and it was just so heartwarming just to be able to experience that from a cat.

Ron: I want to jump into that story, that part of your life, how you and Kermit met what lead up to it and what not But before I jump over to that, I set each guest up for listeners to understand the kind of family dynamics that are happening at home. What does your family look like? Do you have a big family? Do you guys have massive like Thanksgiving get togethers? And where do you live? You mentioned L.A..

Javier Negrete: Yeah, I was born

Ron: I.

Javier Negrete: and raised in Los Angeles.

Ron: Mm hmm.

Javier Negrete: I have. Mom, Dad. I have a younger brother who's just a year younger than me. And I now have a little, little brother who is currently ten years old.

Ron: Oh, fun.

Javier Negrete: Yeah, it's the best. My parents have been divorced since I was two years old,

Ron: Mm hmm.

Javier Negrete: but they remained best friends growing up.

Ron: Wonderful.

Javier Negrete: Yeah, my mom is a family therapist, so she thought it'd be

Ron: Oh.

Javier Negrete: best that they would be friends being there for both of us. And I just never growing up, I never saw a divorce as a bad thing.

Ron: Mm

Javier Negrete: you just support each other in a different way.

Ron: Yes, absolutely. I mean, I also come from that type of background. My

Javier Negrete: If.

Ron: mom divorced my biological father very early on, and it never tripped me up in life because you're surrounded by so much love from other family members and people sort of fill up that space in a loving way.

Javier Negrete: Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I remember. It was always a strange thing to tell friends when their parents are divorced. like, Oh yeah, my parents are divorced as well, but they're best friends and they just look at me and they're like, That could happen!?

Ron: Yes.

Javier Negrete: I'm

Ron: I'm living proof.

Javier Negrete: yeah, I'm I'm very grateful my parents were able to choose that and put us as their priority.

Ron: Absolutely. it might not look that way from the outside in a lot of marriages, but that really is putting your kids first because you as a parent prioritize your own mental health and your happiness as an individual And your kids see that. And they embody that in their own lives.

Javier Negrete: They really, really do. Yeah, but I do have a big family I get to enjoy to two sides of the family.

Ron: Oh nice.

Javier Negrete: I get two Thanksgivings, two Christmases. I

Ron: Right.

Javier Negrete: get to enjoy one day at Mom's side and the other at Dad's side. We are a big family. I have a total of maybe around 25 cousins.

Ron: Oh, wow.

Javier Negrete: Well,

Ron: See, you're

Javier Negrete: yes.

Ron: supported and loved.

Javier Negrete: Oh, yes. Oh, yes. We're all around the same age. we're all there for each other. We keep each other updated on our group chats. So it's it's

Ron: I

Javier Negrete: very

Ron: can

Javier Negrete: fun.

Ron: imagine that becoming very busy very quickly. So we'll get to family a little bit later again and just talk about the hardships that you came through to get here But first, we have to talk about pretty much the 'Star' of your life. And I don't think you saw it coming. So please tell us in as much detail as you care to share the story of how you and Kermit met!

Javier Negrete: I love this. I love this question so much. Every time I get asked, I just put everything aside, and I'm like "Yes, let me tell you!"

Ron: Yes, please. Gush!

Javier Negrete: Okay, so let me start from the beginning. Life before Kermit Things weren't really the best for me at the time.

Ron: Mm hmm.

Javier Negrete: I couldn't really tell what was going on. I did know I was pushing family away. I wasn't as outgoing as I used to. And this was all right after high school

Ron: Mm hmm.

Javier Negrete: and. I remember one day my mom just took me to the side and she kind of like had a talk with me. She's like, hey, like, you know, we've noticed that you haven't been your usual self what's going on? And

Ron: In.

Javier Negrete: I just remembered crying and. I just told her for the first time ever coming out of my mouth, I was like, I have been abused when I was little as a child

Ron: Wow.

Javier Negrete: and. My mom. just gave me the biggest hug. And I just felt that warmth. And I just felt. This bag that I've been carrying completely wash over

Ron: Wow.

Javier Negrete: and. She just told me, like, you know, we're going to get through this. we're going to battle through this. So. Yeah. After high school. these memories that I have just pushed down for so long started to resurface. And.

Ron: It must have been so scary.

Javier Negrete: It was. It really was. I didn't understand it. I was like, What are these memories? Why am I having these? So when I finally told my mom, I felt a huge relief and I was able to seek therapy. That helped me tremendously. And just one day out of the blue, my mom comes over to me and she goes like, Hey, like, how about we look into adopting a cat?

Ron: Out of the

Javier Negrete: F

Ron: blue like that.

Javier Negrete: just out of the blue, I was like a cat. She's like, yeah, like, let's go look into it. And at that time, I had two dogs.

Ron: Mm hmm.

Javier Negrete: I had Lady and Negra one's a mixed terrier and the other is a German shepherd.

Ron: Cute.

Javier Negrete: Absolute super adorable. And I'm like, we already have two dogs. She's like no but I really think we should go look into adopting a cat. So that very same day, I just. You know what? What's the harm? Let's. Let's go. So down the down the street from where we lived was a best friend's animal shelter.

Ron: Literally

Javier Negrete: So

Ron: down the street.

Javier Negrete: literally down the street, just

Ron: That's

Javier Negrete: three

Ron: crazy.

Javier Negrete: minute time.

Ron: The stars aligned.

Javier Negrete: Exactly. So we walked in me and my mom and we went straight into the cat section. And I opened the door and the very first cage that is right in front of the door was Kermit. So I walk over to him and I read his little nametag and it said, Hello, my name is Kermit. And I looked at him and I said, Hi, Kermit. And he turned his head slowly towards me. And he just gave me this slow blink. And something in my soul just completed.

Ron: You knew

Javier Negrete: I.

Ron: you guys

Javier Negrete: I.

Ron: were meant to be together.

Javier Negrete: I did I at that very second, I knew he was coming home with me. I'm.

Ron: Wow. One.

Javier Negrete: They told Mom like that this is the cat

Ron: She must have been like, there's a couple more,

Javier Negrete: is

Ron: you know?

Javier Negrete: She did! She was like, you know, there's what about a kitten? I'm like "No,  this" because Kermit at that time, he was six months old. So, like, no, no, no. This this is the cat. So, yes, I adopted Kermit and a kitten - Frida - and we took 'em home. And a fun little fact. I did change Kermit's name for the first day.

Ron: Really?

Javier Negrete: I did. I did.

Ron: I wondered about that because I saw somewhere on your social media a lady had asked you why, Kermit. But it's a name that he already had.

Javier Negrete: Yeah. That was his name at the shelter. So Frida's name at the time was Dina

Ron: Mm hmm.

Javier Negrete: So I'm like, Oh, Dina's cute, but you're going to be a Frida

Ron: Close enough!

Javier Negrete: Exactly. So I wanted it to be Frida and Diego.

Ron: Oh, cute.

Javier Negrete: So They're

Ron: Yes.

Javier Negrete: famous Mexican painters. And I'm like, You know what? This is really adorable. Diego It is. But after spending the whole day with Kermit. It was for a fact that I'm like, No, no, no, no, you're a Kermit. Let's stick with Kermit.

Ron: It's just the way he responds to his name is quite remarkable.

Javier Negrete: Exactly. Exactly. so I brought Kermit and Frida home, and I had left Frida in Mom's room where she could be comfortable

Ron: Mm hmm.

Javier Negrete: without the dogs. And I had Kermit in my room. He came in a little adoption box. So I put the box in the middle of the room. I left it open. And I told myself, like, let's just give him time. Let him get comfortable. When he's ready, he'll come out.

Ron: Yes.

Javier Negrete: Let's leave it at that. So I started watching some TV and not even 5 minutes later, he jumps over on top of the bed. He comes straight over to me. And at the time, I was laying down and I was not moving and like, oh, my goodness. he's coming over to me, like. Don't overreact. Be cool.

Ron: Yeah! Be chill! call

Javier Negrete: Play it out. Yeah. So

Ron: a.

Javier Negrete: then he comes over to me and he starts rubbing his head against my head.

Ron: No. The very same

Javier Negrete: Like

Ron: day.

Javier Negrete: the very same day, not even 5 minutes. And he started to purr. I

Ron: Famous

Javier Negrete: think

Ron: purr!

Javier Negrete: I quickly got my phone out and I started recording him. And it's been fate ever since.

Ron: No, you're kidding me. So you were telling me that on day one, his social media account exploded?

Javier Negrete: Oh, no, no, I'm sorry. Social media didn't come until, like, maybe. Two, three years later.

Ron: Really that long? I wouldn't

Javier Negrete: Yeah.

Ron: have guessed.

Javier Negrete: Yeah, I was never online. I was more of just kind of read and, 'like' posts. it wasn't until. Yeah, like two years later where every morning I would find Kermit sleeping right next to me and I would just look over at him. I would say "Good morning," and it would start with like a little "eh!" and I'm like "aww!" and every day I would tell him Good morning and his meow just progressed And I was telling my family, like, "Guys, Kermit is talking to me. He's telling me good morning every single day."

Ron: so cool.

Javier Negrete: my family was the one to be like. "No... like... It's a cat!?" I'm like, No, you guys. I'm telling you, let me record them. So, yeah, I recorded just to show family and posted it online, and that's how it blew up.

Ron: The rest is history. How cool is that? Basically the genesis of his celebrity is you trying to prove your point to family?

Javier Negrete: Exactly. I'm like,

Ron: That's

Javier Negrete: no

Ron: brilliant.

Javier Negrete: no this is happening. Let me show you!"

Ron: I'm so happy that it happened because it's so easy to post animal content on social media for likes. And I see a lot of people doing that. But with you guys, there's such a real connection and we all swoon over it. I mean, when he wakes up in the morning and he's just like, "Dad, please, can we sleep for another minute?" That's the best thing in the world.

Javier Negrete: I wish that could be every single day. I feel awful leaving him and Frida I

Ron: I

Javier Negrete: feel.

Ron: can imagine.

Javier Negrete: It's the worst feeling in the world. I don't know why we have to go through this.

Ron: But at least you get to go to kiddos during the day. And I'm guessing and that leads me to my next question is what inspired you to then start writing books with Kermit in them? Was it the fact that you work with kids?

Javier Negrete: The books Well, let me see. I have again, cousins from all different ages.

Ron: Yeah.

Javier Negrete: And I started to have younger cousins and. there's has to be a way where I can tell my cousins. Something that relates to them and they all know Kermit. I'm like, "Oh, that'll be cute!" Like a little bedtime story for.

Ron: How clever.

Javier Negrete: For the cousins. It just, you know, have them relate to something where they can learn how to get ready for bed. So that's where it started. And you know, let me pursue this. Like, let me just dabble into

Ron: And

Javier Negrete: his.

Ron: that was the seed of it. And

Javier Negrete: It was.

Ron: like, if you had your way, do you see yourself doing a book every couple of years, a new one, a new adventure? Or what shape do you want these books to take in future?

Javier Negrete: I do. I definitely want to continue it. I have the bedtime story. "Kermit gets ready for bed" and I'm

Ron: So cute.

Javier Negrete: for Kermit's birthday. I made him birthday book on his birthday,

Ron: Aww!

Javier Negrete: celebrating his birthday. and I'm really excited for my next one. The next one actually is going to teach kids saying no when they're uncomfortable.

Ron: Yes. That's brilliant.

Javier Negrete: Yeah. So I really did feel like I needed something like this growing up because There's just not a lot of role models that I was able to look up to who was going the same thing as me.

Ron: Sure.

Javier Negrete: And it was mostly like "I don't see a lot of guys talking about getting abused". And

Ron: Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Javier Negrete: it happens to so many

Ron: It's frightening.

Javier Negrete: It is. when I came out with my story. I had so many. particularly men coming out saying like, "you know, this really happened to me, too, and I'm so grateful that you're sharing your story because it gives me confidence to be able to share mine". And

Ron: Wow.

Javier Negrete: I just really don't want anybody to stay silent. You

Ron: Absolutely.

Javier Negrete: know, if I can tell anybody who's going through the exact same thing is it's not your fault. It's

Ron: Mm

Javier Negrete: not

Ron: hmm.

Javier Negrete: your guilt to carry. It is.

Ron: Such

Javier Negrete: You

Ron: an

Javier Negrete: know,

Ron: important message.

Javier Negrete: it is. It's it's the monster who's responsible. Give it to them. It's their guilt to carry, not yours.

Ron: Yeah. And I mean, that's why so many people need to accept help and speak about it. And it's so cool that you've got this bundle of joy, this orange cat to be sort of a mascot and carry that message. And I'm so excited about this book. When do you think you're going to publish? I know now I'm asking like a really pressurizing question, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who wants to know.

Javier Negrete: No! Yeah, I'm aiming for Sexual Awareness Month,

Ron: Perfect.

Javier Negrete: which is in April.

Ron: That's wonderful. Well, okay, good. Then that give someone a lot to look forward to who might want to buy this book for their kids or for their school. I think it's so perfect for schools. I really hope that it gets taken up in the system, not only in the US but all over the world. That would be great! Now, something more local because a book can travel everywhere, but I think Catfé won't be able to travel everywhere just yet.

Javier Negrete: Uh-huh!

Ron: What was the thinking behind Catfé was it kind of similar to the books in the sense that you wanted to reach other people who needed a friend like Kermit.

Javier Negrete: So Catfé came to life with the help of a friend from work where she was talking about her dreams and she wanted to start a cat café and was like, Oh, that's really interesting. Like, I've heard about them like, but for you to start with, that's amazing. Like,

Ron: Yes.

Javier Negrete: you should totally go for that. And it was just kind of like a dream of hers that she wanted to pursue. And she's always talked about it for. This is probably like a year, two years ago, and I remember one summer I kind of looked at her like "Wait! We can really start a cat café! Let's really start it like No more dreams Let's really get into

Ron: Let's dig

Javier Negrete: it.

Ron: in and do it. That's

Javier Negrete: Yeah.

Ron: so cool.

Javier Negrete: And the reason why I wanted to start a cat café was because there's a really big perception about cats that cats are evil and they're just minding their own business. And they only come up to you when you know, they

Ron: Yes.

Javier Negrete: feel

Ron: So

Javier Negrete: like it.

Ron: many misperceptions. So many.

Javier Negrete: Yeah. So I had a complete different experience. I was able to come into a shelter meet Kermit and just, you know, take that chance. But I wanted a place where cats can free roam and people to come in and Just be able to experience a cat one on one without the cages, just free roaming, being able to have their own personalities. I want.

Ron: So their personality can shine through then.

Javier Negrete: Yeah. So I want people to come over and just spend time with cats and be like, Oh, you know what? Let me take this one home because

Ron: He is

Javier Negrete: I felt the connection.

Ron: going to open the car, buddy.

Javier Negrete: As.

Ron: That's awesome. Well, what does it look like? what's your dream opening date. When would you like to have Cat Cafe open its doors?

Javier Negrete: I would love for it to be open this summer.

Ron: Oh, great.

Javier Negrete: That's going to be the goal and whatever it takes

Ron: You

Javier Negrete: will

Ron: can

Javier Negrete: make

Ron: do

Javier Negrete: that

Ron: it.

Javier Negrete: happen.

Ron: You guys will do it together. I'm sure you guys are going to push through

Javier Negrete: Yeah. I get so much help from friends and family and I'm so grateful that my dad is in that interior exterior business.

Ron: No way.

Javier Negrete: Yeah. So I get a lot of help from family.

Ron: I wish you all the best with that. I cannot wait for the launch. I think it's going to be so cool. Oh, by the way, I just saw John Mayer was interviewed sitting in a cat cafe in Japan, and the newscasters broke down laughing. It was so entertaining. So

Javier Negrete: I

Ron: here's

Javier Negrete: saw

Ron: a hint,

Javier Negrete: that.

Ron: I

Javier Negrete: Yeah,

Ron: think.

Javier Negrete: I.

Ron: Invite him to come to Catfé when it finally opens I'm British,

Javier Negrete: I

Ron: pretty sure you'll get a yes! How

Javier Negrete: guess

Ron: cool would

Javier Negrete: he's

Ron: that be?

Javier Negrete: He's on top of the list. Taylor

Ron: Yeah.

Javier Negrete: Swift being number one.

Ron: Oh, yes, of course. Yes. There you go. Oh, man. Then you're set. That's fantastic. All right. We're going to dive into some mental health stuff next. But before that, let's take a break.

Ron: All right, we're back. And this section of the show is probably the most important to me, aside from I died to talk about Kermit and the back story and I'm so happy to know it now and that everybody else gets to know it too. But Curious Cast was a seed that was planted in my mind when I started with therapy after being diagnosed with clinical depression, and I realized that so few people are comfortable talking about mental health. So I figured a section in this show where

Javier Negrete: It's.

Ron: we can sort of just touch upon a few things and make it obvious to everyone that mental health is not this far-fetched thing.

Javier Negrete: All

Ron: It's

Javier Negrete: right.

Ron: not something to be ashamed of and all of us go through stuff and we should be able to talk about it. And I think if we relate to each other in that way, it's so valuable to people. So you've mentioned that abuse happened in your childhood. You're welcome to elaborate on that if you want. But my question is, what are the hardships that you overcame to reach this place where you are at now, where you can inspire other people?

Javier Negrete: Yeah. So growing up I don't know if it's similar to all families, But in a mexican family when there's just so many uncles and aunts and friends of friends, growing up, I was always told so-and-so is your 'Tio", and that's your 'Tia" but they weren't really blood related. So it just kind of gave me like this sense of, Oh, okay, they're family. I can

Ron: Mm hmm.

Javier Negrete: trust them. But that's not really the case. And. I was seven years old when the abuse took place.

Ron: Hmm. Hmm.

Javier Negrete: And

Ron: Hmm.

Javier Negrete: this supposed family member really took advantage of the family's trust

Ron: I really admired the post you did where you held up a piece of paper. That was a quote of what the abuser said to you, that if you don't comply, then he's just going to do it to your little brother. So that just speaks to how you were willing to be in the place of what your brother might have been in. And

Javier Negrete: Yeah,

Ron: it's

Javier Negrete: that.

Ron: it's crazy to me how people can I mean, I don't understand because I'm fortunate enough to come from a background where none of my family members ever did stuff like that. And I've not been abused as a child. But I think to myself, What?

Javier Negrete: It's.

Ron: What mental space do you have to be and what kind of person do you have to be to sexually abuse a child in any way, shape or form, even if it's just verbal, even if you're just exposing a child to adult nature verbally. it's really frightening.

Javier Negrete: Yeah.

Ron: And I take my hat off to how you were able to face those demons when they finally came out later in your life. And now you're using your platform to talk to people who might not be brave enough to come out about this stuff.

Javier Negrete: Yeah. I really appreciate what you said. Yeah, The abusers just have a way of. Just. Talking about that quote that he said. That's how the abuser would, you know. Take advantage and growing up. Now going through therapy and

Ron: Mm hmm.

Javier Negrete: I still have some trauma A lot of it when I'm going out to dinner. I do not like eating in front of people. Like it's, it just always grossed me out and I could never figure out why. And I'm like, why do I just want to eat alone? Like, what is this? Like,

Ron: It's

Javier Negrete: I'm

Ron: so

Javier Negrete: always.

Ron: interesting.

Javier Negrete: I've always wanted to just like, you know, I wanted to barf if I wanted to. I just did not want to eat in front of others. And going through the memories. I remember that, you know, every time something would happen is every time the abuser. It would always be like at a family party and my grandma would serve me my plate and I would sit down and I would eat and he would just sit like right in front of me and it just disgusted me. And I carry that to this day and it's just it's always going to be there. But I work on it. It's just something that, you know,

Ron: Yeah.

Javier Negrete: it's

Ron: I mean, it's

Javier Negrete: a.

Ron: amazing how the brain works, how your

Javier Negrete: It does.

Ron: your young brain saw his act of eating as an intrinsic part of who he is and of the abuse. And and it just it's seared itself into your memory. And anything

Javier Negrete: Yeah.

Ron: that triggers that memory now will be weird to deal with. And

Javier Negrete: If one.

Ron: it's so brave of you and of anybody who goes through therapy to face these triggers, because oftentimes people just dismiss them and think it's something silly. And if they find out that that it's something as serious as what happened to you, and then they have to really delve into it. That takes a lot

Javier Negrete: Yeah.

Ron: of courage. So that's why I say I take my hat off to you and I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you do this kind of work because so many people will benefit from hearing this story.

Javier Negrete: Yeah there is any little thing can be traumatic. So therapy is really the best option.

Ron: It really is. I, i it was never that I dismissed the value of therapy. It's, it's just a matter of me appreciating it so much more when it came

Javier Negrete: uh huh

Ron: to my aid when I needed it. And it's incredible what therapy does. It's not that somebody sits there and tells you what to do and how to live your life and how to fix your problems. They help you work through the stuff that otherwise feels overwhelming to you is how

Javier Negrete: uh huh

Ron: I would summarize therapy to be, and it's amazing the process.

Javier Negrete: It really is. It really, really is.

Ron: So I guess we'll end the section by asking instead of because it feels blasé of me to ask what's one piece of advice you would give to your younger self? I'd rather ask you. What advice do you have to any young person or adult listening now who is harboring this type of secret? How can they deal with it? What? What would be your first port of call? Maybe go to a family member if they're comfortable enough. The way your mom came to you. Like, what would you say to those people?

Javier Negrete: I would. Tell them this is not your fault. It will get better. Take that first step of telling someone you trust. If that's somebody online that you trust, if that's a family member or even just talking to a therapist. Just know that it is not your fault and it's

Ron: That's wonderful.

Javier Negrete: not your guilt. It is not your guilt to carry.

Ron: It's so wonderful that you were able to come to that conclusion and that you can now encourage others to accept that as truth because it is. There are so many stories in the world of abuse and people often walk around with guilt and shame and they shouldn't. it's not your fault.

Javier Negrete: It's not. Yeah, I was probably carrying this for about. I, I honestly told myself I'm like, I'm going to carry this to my death Like, there's no way I'm sharing this. I really

Ron: Mm hmm.

Javier Negrete: I really did think that I'm going to die with this secret, but it's going to catch up to you and. I'm just telling you to find someone that you trust.

Ron: Absolutely.

Javier Negrete: It's.

Ron: Otherwise,

Javier Negrete: It's.

Ron: it trips you up.

Javier Negrete: It does. It does.

Ron: I can only from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for being so open, not only with me, but on your social media and wherever you get the chance to talk about this stuff, because the more people talk about it, the more people can get help. So that's fantastic.

Javier Negrete: I really appreciate you. Thank you so much.

Ron: We appreciate you.

Ron: Okay. On to some fun listener questions.

Javier Negrete: Let's go for it.

Ron: Let's see here. Gary in Cape Town, would like to know. Were you always a cat person before Kermit came into your life?

Javier Negrete: That's a funny question, Gary. I, would say, yes, when I was maybe four or five years old, we did have an orange cat who we named Garfield.

Ron: Aww cute.

Javier Negrete: We did. We had to take care of little Garfield because we were going to give it to our grandma in Mexico. But I did fall in love with this orange cat. So maybe even looking at Kermit just gave me a reminder. I'm like, "Oh, I had an orange cat!" So it's the full circle. But I do believe I was always a cat person.

Ron: I think from the sounds of it. You're very much an animal person.

Javier Negrete: I... Yeah! dare.

Ron: Are there any animals that you freak out a little bit about, like scorpions or snakes or you pretty much like I am, crazy

Javier Negrete: Not?

Ron: about all animals.

Javier Negrete: I am. They all have their own soul and their own

Ron: Yes.

Javier Negrete: little personality. But I do have two cats. Three dogs. So I am an animal person.

Ron: Yay! Animal persons for the win! All right. So Jacques in Paris, wants to know, and this is a cute question. What is Kermit's favorite treat in the world, food or otherwise?

Javier Negrete: Oh Jacques, His favorite treats are the 'Temptations' of

Ron: Are those?

Javier Negrete: There are specific brand. They have a bunch of flavors, but it just takes one shake of the bag for Kermit to come over.

Ron: A.

Javier Negrete: His favorite ones are the ones with catnip inside of it.

Ron: Oh, he's a catnip fan Is he?

Javier Negrete: He likes the food, not the raw. his experience with it was freaking me out and I'm like, okay, Kermit, you know what? This is not for you.

Ron: Oh.

Javier Negrete: He was just like, he was holding on to the floor and he started to meow like no. And

Ron: One.

Javier Negrete: he was, like, holding on.

Ron: Oh,

Javier Negrete: Oh, my goodness. I'm so sorry.

Ron: oh,

Javier Negrete: We're never going

Ron: no.

Javier Negrete: to get you any toys with catnip inside of it, so.

Ron: Aww shame! Yeah. You know what? Some people just have downers on that kind of stuff. Let's not do it to the poor guy again.

Javier Negrete: No, no, no.

Ron: Listen, Javie I had so much fun, and I've learned so much, and I honestly cannot wait to have you on again the minute you open Catfé and you launched your next book. But before we wrap, is there anything that we haven't spoken about that you hoped maybe we'd talk about something that you want to mention?

Javier Negrete: I think we covered it all. You've been awesome. Thank you so much for having me, this was really fun.

Ron: It's exactly what I needed for the start of this year. So final question before we wrap up, and this is the question I end each show with. What could every person do right now in this very second to make the world a better place?

Javier Negrete: Text your mom, text your

Ron: That's

Javier Negrete: family.

Ron: beautiful. Yes.

Javier Negrete: Tell them

Ron: People

Javier Negrete: I love

Ron: often

Javier Negrete: you.

Ron: neglect loved ones and a message goes a long way.

Javier Negrete: It does

Ron: Javie, thank you so much for sharing and for spending time with us. Where can people find you?

Javier Negrete: They can find us all across social media. You can find Kermit @ mrkermitmeow on Facebook. Instagram tik-tok YouTube. Or just search 'Javie & Kermit' and you'll find us.

Ron: So it's an easy one to find. Everybody

Javier Negrete: Yes.

Ron: follow them today. Thank you again, my friend. You take care of yourself and have a fantastic start of the new year.

Javier Negrete: You as well Ron Thank you so much. Have a great one This is your year. I can't wait to see where this goes.

Ron: Thank you, my friend. Love you. Lot to take care. Bye.

Javier Negrete: See you