The debut episode of the Manhood Tribes Show, hosted by Don Ross, introduces an alternative perspective on masculinity amidst a culture that often portrays men negatively. Don discusses the confusion surrounding manhood and masculinity, emphasizing the need for more positive discussions and role models. He highlights his background working with men in various capacities, aiming to guide them towards embracing and improving their sense of manhood. The show promises to tackle pressing issues faced by men today, including confronting challenges, finding purpose, and overcoming negative habits. It also aims to explore the role of faith in masculinity, the importance of male friendships, and the concept of forming a supportive 'tribe' of men. Through a combination of personal experiences and practical advice, the Manhood Tribes Show seeks to help men navigate their lives positively.
00:00 Introduction: The Need for a New Conversation on Manhood 00:46 Welcome to Manhood Tribes: A Fresh Perspective 01:08 Why Another Show on Manhood? Addressing the Cultural Crisis 03:19 The Host's Journey: From Pastor to Manhood Advocate 05:19 Addressing the Hardships: From Toxic Masculinity to Personal Struggles 08:04 The Vision of Manhood Tribes: Building a Community of Men 08:31 Celebrating Manhood: Adventures, Challenges, and the Joy of Being a Man 15:22 Looking Ahead: What to Expect from Manhood Tribes Show 24:41 Next Episode Teaser: Defining Manhood
Want to know how you measure up as a man? Take our free quiz, called How Manly Are You? and learn how you can get better at being a man. Download for free at manhoodtribes.com/manly.
The debut episode of the Manhood Tribes Show, hosted by Don Ross, introduces an alternative perspective on masculinity amidst a culture that often portrays men negatively. Don discusses the confusion surrounding manhood and masculinity, emphasizing the need for more positive discussions and role models. He highlights his background working with men in various capacities, aiming to guide them towards embracing and improving their sense of manhood. The show promises to tackle pressing issues faced by men today, including confronting challenges, finding purpose, and overcoming negative habits. It also aims to explore the role of faith in masculinity, the importance of male friendships, and the concept of forming a supportive 'tribe' of men. Through a combination of personal experiences and practical advice, the Manhood Tribes Show seeks to help men navigate their lives positively.
00:00 Introduction: The Need for a New Conversation on Manhood 00:46 Welcome to Manhood Tribes: A Fresh Perspective 01:08 Why Another Show on Manhood? Addressing the Cultural Crisis 03:19 The Host's Journey: From Pastor to Manhood Advocate 05:19 Addressing the Hardships: From Toxic Masculinity to Personal Struggles 08:04 The Vision of Manhood Tribes: Building a Community of Men 08:31 Celebrating Manhood: Adventures, Challenges, and the Joy of Being a Man 15:22 Looking Ahead: What to Expect from Manhood Tribes Show 24:41 Next Episode Teaser: Defining Manhood
Want to know how you measure up as a man? Take our free quiz, called How Manly Are You? and learn how you can get better at being a man. Download for free at manhoodtribes.com/manly.
Don Ross:
Men are trash. That was the headline of a 2023 news piece from a major publication. And unfortunately that kind of headline has become all too common across the internet. All men are terrible. Even the good men are bad. Here at manhood tribes, we want to take a different approach to what it means to be a man. Thanks for joining with us.
Let's get started.
Don Ross:
All right, guys. Welcome to the first episode of the manhood tribes show. I'm your host, Don Ross. And I am so glad to have you joining with me today. I'm going to tell you all about manhood tribes and kind of what we do over the next few episodes. Uh, but to get us started, I really feel like I probably just need to address right from the bat. Why is it necessary to have yet another show about manhood and masculinity and our world right now, this is such a hot topic issue. And it feels like there are so many shows already about the topic. Some of them good, some of them not so good. Some of them really helping to elevate what it means to be a man. And some of them definitely doing a disservice to manhood. So why is it really needed for us to have yet another show about what it means to be a man and how to help men in terms of being a better man? Well, I think there's a few things going on there. One, I would just say is that honestly, with, as big of an issue is that is in our culture right now, the more the merrier, we really need more men talking about what it means to be a man and celebrating that. Being a man is actually a good thing. Men are getting kind of a bum rap right now in our culture. And it would really help to have more men who are standing up to say, Hey, we think being a man is awesome. There's some really good things about celebrating man. Uh, that is something that we need to do. And so we need more shows like that. We need more public voices about masculinity and manhood and saying that that is and can be a really good thing. We also just need to be able to kind of stand in this space and try to help bring some clarity to the whole idea of what does it mean to be a man. Right now in our culture, manhood has become so confusing. I mean the whole discussion and debate around gender in particular is complicated and convoluted, but manhood especially has become something that's been derided and blamed for just about every ill in society. And I really think that it shouldn't be that way. Manhood really shouldn't be a confusing and complicated topic. And so we need some people who can stand in the space alongside other men and say, Hey, it's actually not that hard to figure out what it means to be a man. And we need some good men who are going to show us the way, show us how to be able to get there, to being a man and to being the best kind of men that we possibly can be. So who am I and why on earth would you want to listen to me about those kinds of things? Well, again, my name is Don Ross. I'm the host of this show. The manhood tribes show. And a little bit of just kind of background history on me. I'll get into more of my story later, but I want to give you just kind of a brief glimpse of my world and why I have really kind of entered into this space in terms of talking about manhood. So I have been a pastor and a leader of men for the past 20 or so years working in all kinds of different environments and group sizes with men and just being able to see that men really have it hard right now, for as much as our culture likes to talk about that men are the dominant gender and society. And we have been at the top of the food chain for forever. And while some of those things might be true and our world right now, that's not what men are experiencing. That is as, as easy as our culture would like to think that men have it. Uh, most men that I talked to are really kind of having a difficult time, figuring out how to navigate their world as men and how being a man can actually be a good thing. And so, in my experience of working with men, young men, old men, married men, divorced men, dads, single men, all walks and stages of life. In individual context. In group context, I have worked with a lot of men in a lot of different places. And because of that, I really have seen and developed a passion for wanting to help men be able to be good at being men. I want men to be able to grow and get comfortable with the idea that being a man is a good thing. And it's also something that you can grow in and get better at. So we aren't stuck just with what we're given in terms of what it means to be a man and what our understanding of that is and how manly we feel at the moment we actually can grow and get better at being a man. The problems in our culture are really like, All over the place though, when it comes to understanding how to be a man and what the obstacles are up against us. I mean, right now, the most obvious of those is the buzzword called toxic masculinity. Anywhere you go, you can hear that phrase being mentioned when it comes to the whole idea of masculinity. Some people think toxic masculinity is a version of masculinity. Some people think that all masculinity is toxic and just simply being a man is a bad thing. That's a really dangerous place for our culture to be in. When we think half of the population might just be bad at heart. So we need to really kind of figure out like, what are the alternatives to that? And is it actually possible to be some version of a man that is a really good thing. Having come from a pastoral background as well. I have seen that in spite of the good nature of the church, the church hasn't been much of a help to men in terms of really casting a vision for what being a good man and being good at being a man is all about. So in a church setting, often what you will hear is that the ideal for being a man has something to do with being a good husband. Being a good father and avoiding controversial since things like drug use and inappropriate sexual behavior, but by and large, that's really, it. It's kind of a nice version of what it means to be a man, but it's not all that inspiring if we're honest, most guys that I know in the church feel a little underwhelmed about what the church is asking of them and calling them to as men. And it's not surprising then that there are far more women involved in most church contexts than there are men. Especially when it comes to community within a church and building relationships with other men, there are far more women and community type groups within the church than there are men. And that's because for the most part, the church just doesn't know what to do with men. We don't have a really good vision of what it means to be a man. And we absolutely don't know how to call men into community with other men. But again, This really shouldn't be all that difficult. Men have lived that way for almost all of history. We have lived as men with an easy confidence in what it means to be a man. And for the most part, we have lived in small, tight knit groups that I like to call a tribe with other men. Now sometimes that's taken the form of an actual tribe in the sense of kind of a tribal community. And sometimes it's just been the local neighborhood group or gang that you're a part of. Any of that can and should be what men think of as a tribe. And so here at manhood tribes, we want to bring that element back into what it looks like to live as a man to understand that manhood can't really be at its best. If it's divorced from this other type of community, with men that we'll call a tribe. So, what I want to say is that being a man. Isn't a problem. It's awesome. Being a man is a really, really good thing. And I would bet that for most of you guys who are watching or listening to this show right now, you've got all kinds of stories in your past, just in your own personal history about how growing up as a boy. And being a man has been really, really great. There's been things about it that you have absolutely enjoyed and felt like your life has been great because you're a male and that's a really good thing. So like, for example, from my own story, I grew up. I have a younger brother. There were just the two of us, uh, as kids and our household, but we did all kinds of fun things together and with other boys in our neighborhood, and it just so happened that our house was kind of right next to this really big sewer storm drain kind of culvert type thing. We live next to a lake and the storm drain kind of hooked itself up to the lake. And so, you know, of course as boys, this was like our natural playground. This was the place that we wanted to be. So we would go exploring there all the time and we would find all kinds of things from, you know, minnows and baby frogs to, uh, you know, even things like crayfish and, you know, the occasional, like snapping turtle, all kinds of just super cool animals. But every once in a while, one of us would have the bravery to venture venture into the dark. Of the storm drain and to really kind of find out like, how far could we go before it got too scary and too small that we would be too afraid to turn around. But yeah, that was the adventure of exploration that we loved as boys. Boys love having notes, those kinds of spaces, where they can play and they can explore and discover their worlds. You know, without any kind of restraint, but just to figure out what's there to test themselves against and to see how far they can go or what they can do this time that they didn't do the last time. Those things are awesome about being a boy and about being a man. Now as I got older, I really loved doing adventurous stuff in my twenties. I mentioned that I have a younger brother and he had the really cool opportunity of studying abroad in New Zealand when he was in college. And I was just out of college and I got the opportunity to go visit him while he was there. And man, we had the best trip while I was there. Just filled with all kinds of fun and adventure. Just the two of us as guys go in and doing great things. We went whitewater rafting over a waterfall. We went jet boating and probably my most favorite thing was we went bungee jumping. Now I had never been bungee jumping before or done anything like it, but New Zealand is like the home of the original bungee jumping. And so we actually went over this canyon where we got to go bungee jumping together and. It was so cool. It was, they timed it just so with the weight of the rope, you would jump off into this canyon and dip down with your head going just into the water before the rope caught its tension again and pulled you back up. It was scary as all get out, but it was so much fun. And that kind of thing. I know that's not limited to just guys, but there's something about that adrenaline and adventure that men just love. We love it. We crave it. And they're so much fun to being a man that comes to doing those. Those kinds of things together. Even as I have grown and become a dad, I have two boys of my own. And when my boys were little. He became really apparent to me that as parents, my wife and I definitely interacted with our kids differently, especially when it came to play. And it has a dad. I loved wrestling with my boys. I loved just doing fun, physical things with them. One of our favorite games to play was one called steam roller. Where they would get up on our big bed and they would tuck themselves up under the covers, but then they would like stick their butts up in there. So they made these like big lumps in the bed. And then as dad, I would get on one side of the bed and just roll across the bed as a steam roller and try to flatten out those big lumps that they had made in the bed. And there would just be giggles and hilarity, you know, the whole time that we were playing. And it was so much fun. It was so physical and just a good time of kind of bumping into each other and being up against each other and being each other's spaces. And it was fun and there was laughter and that was just the way that as boys, they loved to play with me as their dad. And that looked different from how my wife played with them. And that was totally okay. But that kind of physicality was a natural part of our relationship and is something that men and boys really, really enjoy. All of those things are good. All of those things should be celebrated. Other things too, like the fact that men love to challenge and to try to conquer our world, whatever the obstacles are that we are up against that are around us men, like to try to figure out how we can overcome things, how we can take on something that no one else has taken on before and conquer it. That's a really good thing about being a man. It is allowed us to explore our world and it's almost entirety. And to be able to figure out how to do new things, all of that has come from being mint. Men love to try to solve the world's hardest problems. We love to tackle things head on. We like to figure things out and to fix things. When we see something that's broken, we like to find a way to fix it or to bring a solution to it. That's a natural part of what it means to be a man. And that's a really, really good things. Men like to try to make things right where we see that they are wrong. Now, granted men have also been a part of making a lot of things wrong in the world. But justice that has come out of injustice has very often been something that men have brought about when we see things not going the way that they should, when we see people not being treated the way that they should. It's often men who want to make those kinds of things. Right? If you look at all of the original superheroes in American culture, who tried to make things right, almost all of them were men. And that was a really good thing to celebrate about. Um, being a man is that we'd like to make things right. And just, and good. Now. We need to be honest, right? We can be honest that men are not perfect. Men do a lot of things wrong. We have brought a lot of hardship and violence and awful things to the world. In addition to all of the things that we have done really good, but that doesn't take away from the fact that men are awesome. It just means that we have the potential for things that are really not awesome. And we've got to figure out what to do about that. We're going to address that in this show as well as we get further down the road. But for now, here's what I want to say to you about why you would want to watch or listen to this show. This show is really going to be for men. And for those who care about the men and their lives, who want to be men who want to act as men who want to get better at being men who want to show up in the world as a man. And to say that being a man matters. And being a man is a good thing. It's something that we shouldn't be confused about. It's something that we should celebrate. So if that's you and I suspect that it's a whole lot of you, then this is a show that you're going to want to pay attention to. This is also a show that is going to try to address some of your hardest challenges in your life as a man. Okay. We're not going to dance around men's topics of things like, uh, how to dress and you know, what sports teams you need to follow and what to do with your, you know, retirement fund to be able to get the most out of it. Now, look. All those things are fine. Like they're not bad things to talk about. As a man, those are things I'm interested in and need to learn about. There are plenty of other shows that are talking about those kinds of things. What we want to hone in on is how to really help you as a man, be able to confront your hardest challenges in life. And sometimes the things that you aren't even like top level of mind thinking about. But so that might be like, what does it mean to be a man? Some of you, especially, probably younger guys are wondering this stage in your life. Am I a man? How would I even know if I am one? What does being a man all about? Is there a way to be a kind of man? That is a good thing. All of those are real questions in our world right now. And those are the kinds of questions that we want to try to answer on this show. We also want to help you as a man to try to figure out your purpose in life. How as a man, do you begin to figure out what am I here for? What am I meant for? What am I supposed to be doing with myself? One of the really interesting things about our world right now in Western society is that as men, our opportunities and possibilities are almost limitless. And while that's really cool. It's also at times kind of paralyzing. It can be so limitless that it can make us feel like we need to try to do everything. And we're not even really sure how to get started on anything. So we want to help you figure out what is your purpose in life? What are you meant for, how do you discern who it is that you're meant to be and what you're meant to be good at? How do you go after those things? We want to help you. Get unstuck from some of your greatest struggles. Here's the thing about being a man right now. Because it has become so unpopular to be a man and to stand for something as a man. Men are looking for relief and all kinds of ways. Now, guys, if you're watching, you know, that this is the case. There's something in you in your life, maybe some things multiple that you are turning to for relief, because life is hard. Life sucks sometimes. And honestly, right now, as a man. Life can suck pretty bad on some days. And so when that's the case, What is it that you as a man are turning to. Right now, one of the most obvious answers is porn. Porn is rampant in our culture. And especially for men. It has become almost a universal thing that men are turning to for relief. Release. Joy and satisfaction. But at the end of the day, it's not really bringing any of those things in a reliable long-term way. In fact, it's, it's absolutely destroying men's lives by sucking them into a habit that they can't get free from. And wrecking their possibility of fulfilling relationships in other places in their lives. So those kinds of examples, things like porn, maybe it's not porn for you, but maybe it's something like alcohol. Or maybe it is the ever increasing, uh, sports betting issue that is going on in our culture right now, where it's becoming more and more popular for guys to get hooked into the world of sports gambling, because it's just right there on your phone and it's so easy and it seems like it's such a cheap thing to do, and everybody else is doing it. And then it has its hooks in you and you don't know how to get away from it. Maybe it's not any kind of like substance or activity like that, but it might just be something in your emotional world. You are an angry man and you don't know what to do about it, but in all of the most important relationships in your life, you are angry with those people. And they feel it and you feel it, but you just don't know how to be different than that. Maybe you are riddled with anxiety or you are filled with loneliness. Loneliness has become a terrible epidemic for men in our culture right now, because we are so disconnected from other men in particular. Maybe all of those things are a challenge for you, figuring out how to overcome those kinds of challenges is a big part of what we want to talk about on this show. We also want to talk in this show about how to develop a faith in God that is masculine and relevant to your world. Now I know I mentioned that my background is as a pastor. I want you to hear up front that you don't have to have a faith in God in order to be able to follow along with this show. But I do want you to know that we are going to talk about it and that's because I think men really do need to wrestle with not just the idea of God, but whether or not you are following God. All men are following something. And we're going to dive into this a lot more deeply here pretty soon on this show. All men are following something and you need to be wrestling with the fact with what you have chosen to follow may or may not be the best thing for you to follow. We're going to talk about how a faith in God can help give you that better north star, that better way of figuring out what it means to follow something that's worth following. And how that can shape your life. So just know we're going to talk about faith in a way that is masculine and relevant to your life. It's not going to be about rules. Do's and don'ts all the moralistic things that you might have grown up with or experienced if you've been around church for awhile. But we are going to talk about how faith can make a lasting difference in your life as a man and how it can shape you into the kind of man that you actually do want to become. We're also going to talk about how to make friends with other men. And this might sound like a silly thing. This might sound like really like, do we actually need help with that? And the truth of the matter is, yeah, we do. As a society, as I mentioned, loneliness has become such an epidemic in our culture, but especially among men. And it's because as men. We have really lost the art of friendship. We have lost the ability to make lasting and meaningful connections with other men. And not just with like a friend here or there, but actually living in some kind of community with men. So that those relationships are shaping us and are helping us to grow into the kind of men that we actually really want to be. Now we, as men don't typically have problems with having things like drinking buddies or guys to watch a football game with. And those things are great. I love those relationships. I've got plenty of those relationships and they are a fun part of my life. But if that's all that you have, when it comes to what it looks like for having friendship with other men in your life, then you're really missing out on what it looks like to have a tribe of men. Who are building a transformational community around you that will help you become the kind of man that, you know, you're capable of being, but maybe just don't know how to get there. That's what a tribe of men is meant to do for you. They are meant to help you get to the place where you are, the kind of man that you really want to be. And without that you're never going to get there. So we're going to spend a lot of time talking about that, about what it means to have those kinds of friendships. What those kinds of friendships look like, what you do with those friends in order to be able to maximize your time with them and to make sure that it isn't just simply drinking buddies and sports, watching buddies and you know, whatever else, but that they really are good friends who are helping you to transform, and that you're doing the same for them. So that you're becoming the kind of men that you actually want to be. So, as you can tell. These are big issues. These are the biggest things in your life. Sometimes that don't ever go addressed for most men. We want to try to talk about all of those sorts of things. It's going to be fantastic here on the manhood tribe show. I'm really looking forward to sharing all of this with you, but before we get into all of that, We're going to need to spend a little bit more time laying some foundation about what it actually means to be a man and getting some clarity around that. So in our next episode, that's what we're going to dive into. What is a man? What's the definition of a man. And what does it mean to be a man? We've got some real clear ideas that I hope are going to bring some simplicity to all of the confusion going on in our world. So I'm looking forward to talking to you next time here on the manhood tribe show about what it means to be a man? We'll see you then.
