🔥 Hilarious Sh*t Stories: From Taco Bell Mishaps to First Class Peeing in a Bottle! 💩
Welcome back to the channel, everyone! In today's episode, Thad Olson dives deep into some of the most outrageous and side-splitting sh*t stories you've ever heard! From unexpected accidents to downright embarrassing moments, Thad leaves no stone unturned in this laugh-out-loud podcast.
00:00 - Introduction: Thad kicks off the episode with a quick hello and a promise to delve into some epic sh*t stories.
00:10 - Childhood Sh*t Chronicles: Thad reflects on his early experiences with sh*t mishaps and how they evolved over time.
01:23 - The Diagnosis: Thad opens up about his battle with NMO (Neuromyelitis Optica) and how it has impacted his control over certain bodily functions.
03:26 - Taco Bell Disaster: Prepare to burst out laughing as Thad recounts a fateful encounter with Taco Bell and the aftermath that ensued.
07:46 - On-the-Job Sh*t Stories: Join Thad on a journey through his electrical job days, where unconventional bathroom solutions led to some truly memorable moments.
11:31 - True Value Triumph: Discover the chaos that unfolds when a desperate bathroom situation meets unexpected obstacles at a local hardware store.
13:14 - The Urinal Incident: Brace yourselves for a tale of bathroom panic, questionable decisions, and a hilarious encounter with a fellow restroom occupant.
16:47 - First Class Peeing: Thad shares a heartwarming and sidesplitting memory of navigating a mid-flight bathroom emergency with his son, Parker, in first class.
19:41 - Closing Thoughts: Thad wraps up the episode with reflections on the shared human experience of sh*t stories and invites listeners to share their own tales.
Don't miss out on this epic episode filled with laughter, empathy, and maybe a few cringe-worthy moments. Hit that play button now and prepare for a wild ride!
🎙️ Subscribe to the channel for more hilarious and heartwarming content! Like, share, and leave a comment with your own sh*t stories below! Let's keep the laughter going! ✌️
Follow, Like & Share this podcast on your social channels:
Facebook: Listen Motherf_er
Instagram: ListenMotherfer
YouTube: Listen Motherf*cker
Rumble: Listen Motherfucker
Thad Olson (00:00.506)
Oh, hey, everybody. Well.
Thad Olson (00:06.574)
Shit Stories.
Thad Olson (00:10.878)
Might as well get those out of the way.
Thad Olson (00:15.778)
So.
Thad Olson (00:19.507)
As I hinted to in the cherry pop.
I've had this problem.
since as long as I can remember. I mean, I guess not really as a child. And it really wasn't a problem in high school. I took some unnecessary shits in high school. That was by choice, not out of necessity. I was just bad character, I guess.
Thad Olson (00:57.481)
And like I said, hey, some people have.
miscellaneous medical problems. Well...
Mineshit.
And yes, I kinda blame my mom for all the vitamins when I was a kid. They were just stupid.
Thad Olson (01:23.742)
And as an adult, I was diagnosed in 2018 with NMO, neuromyelitis optica.
Old name is Devix disease. It's very, very similar to MS. It's just a little more scary. And so from 2018 until now.
We'll cover that. Uh, I just don't have the control that the average person does. Like when you, man or woman, child or adult, when you know that you gotta take a dump, so you're like, oh, okay, well, let me wait till I get to the bathroom. You can control your muscles so that you don't just take a shit in your pants.
Well, I don't have that ability anymore. The nerve damage doesn't let me accomplish that. When my body decides that it's time to take a shit, it's going to take a shit. That hasn't always been that way. It's been more of, you know, who knows, whether I shouldn't have gluten or whether I shouldn't have Fettuccine Alfredo lathered in oil or, you know,
anything that's deep-fried, whatever, right? We all have lots of those problems, you know? I had Taco Bell, this is probably sometime in the past two years, I had Taco Bell, I have no idea why, went through a Taco Bell drive-through, inhaled probably five or six hard taco Supremes, beef, and then at three in the morning, have an attack.
Thad Olson (03:26.126)
Throw the covers off. Try to get out of bed. Make it to the toilet. Don't make it all the way. Just devastate the bathroom.
Thad Olson (03:39.086)
Spend a half hour taking care of it, cleaning it up. My wife gets to hold me the next day. She goes, so, uh, you had an accident last night, huh? And I'm like, I did. I had not cleaned it all up. She goes, no, you ruined the toilet seat. I'm like, what are you talking about? The food coloring, the food coloring in that Taco Bell ground beef stained the white toilet seat orange.
Yeah, like nothing. Bleach wouldn't take it off. Anyways.
Thad Olson (04:17.058)
I think it was a summer in between eighth grade and ninth grade. My lifelong BFF, Eric, unfortunately no longer with us. Um.
He was staying the night.
And again, this not really any real reason why someone would do this, other than just brain damage, is that he was upstairs doing something, and I thought that it was a good idea that I walked into the kitchen and I laid down a couple of paper towels in the sink, kitchen sink. We were the only two at the house. Hopped up on the counter and took a dump.
in the sink. Cleaned myself up, but took those dirty paper towels from wiping my ass and threw those in the garbage. And all that was in the sink was a bright white brand new paper towel and an 8 inch log of shit.
Thad Olson (05:23.362)
So then he came downstairs for something and I coaxed some reason to get him to go into the kitchen. I have no idea. I don't remember. And then you could just hear him freaking out because he could smell it and he walked over and saw this log laying in the sink. I mean it's just...why? Why?
That's the earliest that I can remember. There wasn't really any shit accidents. When I was in my early 20s, the first real electrical job I had, I worked for a company called Jones Lighting and Electric in Washington. And that was in the early 90s, 92. And so here in Washington, Seattle, Washington, compact fluorescent.
had just taken over the world. And so Seattle City Light was paying 70%. Seven zero. 70%. So if you had an apartment building, whether it was 30 stories tall or one story tall, you would work out with Seattle City Light, hey, if I take out all these old light fixtures and put in these new energy efficient light fixtures, they paid 70% of it. So I did lots of that first year.
And even as a first year apprentice, by the time I had probably nine months in and starting my second year, somewhere in between nine months and the start of my second year, they were putting me out in this van. It was like a 79 Ford one-ton van with like a 460 in it. This thing was a huge piece of shit and it was dark brown.
Yeah, I swear to you, I'm not making that up. Yeah. And I would go out to these places and like I very seldom ever would be with the manager. So I would just be like given a key or a code to get in and we'd work in just the corridors and the stairwells, the outside, right? Oh, there's no place to go to the bathroom.
Thad Olson (07:46.866)
Yeah. So I would take a light fixture out of a cardboard box, sit in the van, shit in the box, and throw it in the dumpster or whatever, you know? Did it for the longest amount of time. And I remember
Thad Olson (08:06.878)
I remember having to go pick a buddy up after work, an old race car buddy of mine. And for some reason I had taken a shit in a box, not thrown it away. And knowing that I was going to pick him up, I had pulled over early, a couple of blocks early, grabbed that box out of the back of the van and put it in the footwell, you know, like where his feet would go in the passenger seat, then kept going to go pick him up.
And he, you know, I stopped, he comes, he opens the door to get in and he looks down and he goes, what's this? And I go, oh shit, I have no idea. I mean, what's, what's in it? If it's garbage, we can just throw it away and toss it in the dumpster. Uh, cause he was at a car lot. And so he cracks open that box. And I remember him like sticking, like he put his head down, like, what the fuck? He got his face eight inches away and then he'd taken a shit in this box.
He's freaking out, I'm scream laughing, I mean just.
Thad Olson (09:10.21)
Pee and poop is funny. It'll always be funny. If you don't think it's funny, you're not even still listening to this podcast. Ha ha ha. Whatever. Yeah. You already know, I already told you in the cherry pop about shitting on the double yellow line.
That's... I mean, I could've just shit next to my pickup. At 5.30 in the morning, in the middle of nowhere, it just was more funny to shit in the middle of the road. No reason other than I thought it was funny. And I couldn't make it to the rest area, so I'm not gonna shit my pants. Not on purpose. Um... The other one that I hinted to, and man... I wish somehow... I could find the guy...
that's in this story. So I could hear his version of this story. So we were working on Cascade Middle School in Cedarwood, Washington, and I had gone somewhere to get parts or who knows, I don't know, I was headed back to the job site and you know, his stomach started grumbling a little bit, you know, and I'm like, ooh, kind of cold sweats, you know, like getting closer to the job site and you realize I'm not gonna make it.
It's middle of the summer, there's people everywhere.
pulled into a True Value parking lot right there in town. Shut the truck down, start quick stepping it. Yeah, not big strides, because you don't want an accident. Quick stepping my way into True Value, and I'm like looking and I see someone, you guys got a restroom I can use? And they pull me up, okay. Start shuffling back to the back corner of the store. Every foot you step, every step you take is just a little bit closer to
Thad Olson (11:06.086)
I'm not gonna make it.
So, I see the door, I get to the door, to the men's room, push the door open, as I'm pushing that door open, I see the stall door close, and I hear it go click. Somebody's just sitting down.
Thad Olson (11:31.99)
I mean, I'm 30 seconds from shitting my pants. So I know.
I'm not getting in the stall.
Thad Olson (11:46.751)
I look at the urinal.
Thad Olson (11:50.967)
Fuck it.
Walk over to the urinal, turn around, unbutton my pants. As I'm standing, and this is me, misses me thinking back on it. As I'm pulling down my pants and bending over to a urinal, I'm wearing Romeos, like easy slip-on work shoes, right? I'm wearing Romeos, well, I can see the guy's feet that sit in the toilet. He's also wearing Romeos. But if I can see his feet,
He can see mine.
And he can see that my feet are facing the wrong direction for the urinal.
Thad Olson (12:33.802)
Well, and then I release. I take a shit, which was diarrhea, which as you know, right, sounds terrible. Yeah, if I had a sound effect button, I'd be hitting that now, right, for dramatic effect of blowing diarrhea into the urinal. Right, and this guy still says nothing. As this is happening, I'm now, just now, as I've started the...
So the sheer panic is over because I was just able to not do that in my pants into a urinal. I'm not done yet.
Thad Olson (13:14.626)
But I'm just now registering, what happens when the door opens? There's a guy in the urinal. I'm sorry, there's a guy in the stall. I'm backed up to the urinal. And someone's going to open the door. What am I going to say? What's going to happen? Well, it didn't. That didn't happen. The door did not open.
The guy never made a sound in the stall. But he had to have heard every, I know that he heard it. I know that he could see my feet. So I'm reaching over, I'm grabbing paper towels, wiping my ass, throw them in the garbage, button myself up, turn around, the entire inside of the urinal's brown.
Thad Olson (14:04.642)
So now I'm just, I'm just flush factory, you know, cause now the door, I'm not, okay, I could deny if the door was, but the door didn't open. Now I'm flooding the toilet. By the time I walked out of there, that toilet was overflowing. Stuff.
And at this point I'm jogging out of the store. Surprised I didn't get stopped, someone thinking I was stealing something. Jog out of the store, back to the truck, off I go, boom, dah, gone Yeah.
Thad Olson (14:38.482)
And that would have happened in...
Probably in 2013, 10 years ago, almost 11 years ago. It would have been summer of 2013, I'm guessing. Not that you give a shit. Yeah, so I've wondered 100 times.
Thad Olson (15:01.642)
How many times that guy has told that story, if ever, and what his version of that story would be. Because God, I'd like to hear it. I'd like to hear it. Yeah. Well, so...
That's the one that has left. Well, that's not true. I was gonna say that's left the biggest impact. It's just the funniest in my mind, I guess. Then after I got sick, and I'm getting used to not having control, not really getting used to it, just first dealing with it, first learning about, whoa, I guess I can't control this, yeah.
I'd gotten my son, well, I mean, he got himself the job, but I had helped him get a job at a local car dealership. And I knew a lot of the people there in management, sales service, right? I knew quite a few of them. And so he'd been working there quite a while, several months. Um, I remember walking in there one morning. I was needed to give him something on my way to work.
I needed to see him for some reason. And I had parked.
somewhat by the service and went in through the showroom because it was surprisingly open. And as I was quick stepping it, because I got to go, I was going to see him, but I need to go to the bathroom. So I'm quick stepping it through the showroom, just getting ready to make it past the financial office and out, oh, out comes a guy that I know.
Thad Olson (16:47.662)
Thad, hey, how you doing out, you know? He's like, oh yeah, hi. As he reaches his hand out to shake my hand, as I grabbed his hand, as he's telling me how nice it is to see me, I'm pumping a couple of pounds of poo in my forking underwear. Yeah. As he's telling me how proud I must be of what an awesome worker Parker is, everybody loves him. I'm wondering if he can smell it.
Thad Olson (17:16.546)
So then I kind of, you know, quickly, you know, hey, yeah, nice to see you, man. I gotta make it out of here. Just a quick stop. Oh, yeah, okay. And he shuffles back into his office. No idea if he actually smelled it. It's not like I was gonna ask him. And I head down the steps, into the bathroom with one stall. Luckily, no one's in it. Sit down. Well, now I'm getting half undressed. Not wearing a diaper.
I just destroyed a pair of underwear, stars and stripes underwear. At the time, one of my favorite. So I'm taking my shoes off, taking one leg out, one of other, now my pants are off. Now I'm pulling off these destroyed underwear, sitting on the toilet trying to clean myself up. So Parker knew I was coming. I had texted him that I'm close. And so he had texted me, are you still coming by? Something like that.
And so I grab my phone and I move my underwear that are destroyed. Full of shit. And I take a picture of it.
I texted to him. I said, I'm here, but I've got a little bit of a problem. I'm dealing with this right.
Thad Olson (18:33.814)
His only response to me, you're a psycho. Why am I a psycho? What, why did that make me a psycho? Cause I shit my pants? Because I sent you a picture of it? Who cares? What else am I supposed to do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I ended up just taking those and, throwing them in the garbage right there in the bathroom. I mean, that must've stunk for a long time. I kind of feel bad that.
I mean, definitely. No different than the guy that... I mean, for all I know, he has trauma. He experienced a trauma. Maybe he's nervous to go into bathrooms now. I don't know. You know, I kind of feel bad about people having to deal with the ramifications of the shit stories, but... What am I supposed to do about it? Yeah.
Thad Olson (19:30.07)
Ah, yeah. Well, there's probably more. Some of you might even remember more.
Thad Olson (19:41.062)
I can't be the only one that has ever, I mean, have you guys, none of you have ever? Now that's not true. I know friends of mine that have shit their pants, been on a train, been on an airplane. Yeah.
I'm not the only one. Don't you, don't fucking look at me like that. It's not a shit story. This is a quick little story and then we'll be done.
Uh, when Parker was my son, when Parker was like, shit.
Thad Olson (20:18.358)
I don't know, he was somewhere between four and six. We had gone to Alaska. We went up there one time so I could work with my mom. And then we went up another time for him to be in a wedding. He wasn't that old. So I think he was four. Yeah, I think he was four. We had gone up to see my mom in Fairbanks. And I did some electrical work in her.
furniture store or something like that. could pay for $50 upgrades for first if you were one of the first ones a three-hour early to the airport guy. So laying down my 50 bucks per seat, we were
Thad Olson (21:18.51)
I was, you know, I was in my, I was probably like 30. Uh, full head of hair, good shape, wearing a wife beater, some 501s, my work boots. There's my four year old. I who knows what he was wearing. I don't know. So we're cruising in first class, right? Well.
We've been having water and soda, all this, right? Well, so, and I ask him when they tell him, hey, we're starting to descend, hey, buddy, you gotta go potting out. Okay. Well, we're literally, our seat backs are up. I can see the ground. We're landing the plane. I gotta go pee. I'm like, dude, and he's not gonna hold it. I can tell, like, he's gonna take a piss. And I'm like, and we got a water bottle.
So I cracked this water bottle. I chugged this water. I say, get up, stand up. And he stands up and I'm undoing his pants and we're both trying to grab his unit and get it in the top of this water bottle so he can go pee. And some guy that's across the aisle from me, who clearly paid full price for his first class ticket, hey, we're landing. And I'm like.
Trying to focus on not getting pissed everywhere. This guy's yelling at me, Hey, you can't stand up. We're landing I go, hey, shut the fork up. Hey, why don't you shut the fork up? Yeah, that's how that was handled. Parker peeing in a bottle while landing in there.
Thad Olson (23:03.534)
It's just, it's the small moments in life, you know? Not enough of us do that. It's the small joys in life. The look on that guy's face when I told him to shut the fork up. Mind your own forking business. Fantastic.
Fantastic. Well, please, as usual, I'm not the only one with these stories. Don't you make me feel like I'm a weirdo.
Let's hear it.
Peace.
