Positively Leading

S1E16 - Launching into Leadership: A Guide for Aspiring Leaders with Jenny Cole

• Jenny Cole • Season 1 • Episode 16

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Are you ready to  lead with authenticity and emotional intelligence? 

Join me, Jenny Cole, as I recap our Launching Into Leadership program, where nearly 200 female leaders have begun their leadership journey. We’ll explore the shift from traditional, hierarchical models to those that value gender balance and feminine qualities. Learn about the tools and theories that have helped these women lead with authenticity, balance, and well-being. Plus, get a sneak peek at our upcoming two-day live event designed to enhance these skills and solidify your leadership identity.

In this episode I share all the key components of the Launching into Leadership program, both the online and in-person versions. We’ll delve into what it means to be an authentic leader, highlighting the importance of self-awareness and emotional intelligence. I’ll share how tools like DISC assessments can help you develop your leadership style and how shedding defensive behaviours can make leadership more joyful. We’ll discuss insights from Brené Brown, Amy Cuddy, and "The Confidence Code" on the unique challenges women face in leadership, along with strategies for career planning, networking, and finding mentors. It's about building a lasting legacy, not just holding a title, and I’m here to help you create strong professional and personal connections.

We’ll also focus on trust, vision, and balancing the management of people and processes. Learn strategies for setting clear expectations and creating an environment where accountability and empowerment go hand in hand. Discover how the GROW model can improve your team coaching by promoting autonomy and problem-solving skills. We’ll also cover the power of positive psychology with practical strategies for goal setting and self-care, providing a solid foundation for your leadership journey. 

There is lots in this episode -  please share widely.

Did you know there is more? You can access every episode, show notes, links and more via my website Positively Beaming.

Jenny Cole:

Hello and welcome back to Positively Leading the Podcast. I'm Jenny Cole, I'm your host. Can I just give a big shout out to those people who've been kind enough to contact me and tell me how much they've been enjoying the podcast. I've certainly been enjoying interviewing people and I've enjoyed the solo episodes where I get to teach, and this episode is just a little bit different to both of those. Let's go back a little bit and I'll put this in context.

Jenny Cole:

During COVID, when we all moved away from face-to-face and had to go online, the programs that I had been running for the Department of Education and also Catholic Education, called Rising Leaders and Leading with Authenticity depending which system you're in, those programs weren't going to be able to go ahead. They were multi-day programs where I took aspiring leaders through a whole series of understandings and knowledge and ways of being and new learnings that were going to help set them up as leaders into the future human beings who were taking on a leadership role, and so we turned those programs pretty quickly into a fabulous online course called Launching Into Leadership. Launching Into Leadership has eight separate modules aimed at different knowledge or skills that people need to understand, but importantly, it weaved through elements of well-being, understanding how to be your best self, plus a bit of theory about leadership more generally. So we made that program and we launched it. We launched Launching Into Leadership four years ago now and it was immensely popular. We've had nearly 200 women go through that program and it's had rave reviews, and that's in addition to the people who have done the face to face program that the various departments have been able to put on both pre-COVID and post-COVID. So we're about to do Launching Into Leadership Live again, which is a two-day immersive program designed to help new and aspiring leaders sort of get clear on who they want to be as a leader and then also to give them some of the skills and some of the understanding and some of the tools that they might need in order to lead effectively. We've also just finished the last intake of the online version and as we were finishing, I re-watched a video that is part of the online program that summarizes the program and the relevant bits of information that we learned in each module.

Jenny Cole:

So I thought it might be super useful to include the audio from that video in today's podcast. It'll give those people who are curious just a little bit of further information as to what we might include in the program, but it also might help answer some of the questions that I get asked about what do you cover, and is this useful for me? Or will this be helpful if I'm just a team leader or I'm a program coordinator? So today's going to be a little bit different. Just to remind you that the audio you are going to hear was designed for a completely different purpose. It wasn't ever designed to be on this podcast, and so it might feel a bit odd at times, particularly at the beginning, which is very dry. When I talk about a new model of leadership. You must remember that this is a recap and a summary of a great deal more information that participants got in another module. However, I thought it might be useful, and I also thought that it might help those people who are still considering whether they would come to the positively beaming Launching Into Leadership. There's a mouthful. If you wanted to come to Launching Into Leadership, which is on June 14th and 15th this year, then this might be the information that you need. I will put the links in the show notes below for the course and for the registration, or you can head straight to my website for more information. So, without further ado, here is the audio that summarizes the content for launching into leadership. Welcome back In this final module.

Jenny Cole:

I'm going to aim to summarise all that we've done in the previous seven modules, so this will be a quick whip through some of the major concepts and just a little reminder of some of the things that you've learnt over the past eight weeks. That you've learnt over the past eight weeks. So we started with the notion that there is a kind of new type of leadership that the world is looking for a more constructive, a more gender balanced and, in fact, a more feminine kind of leadership, and this is replacing the more traditional military style leadership of a very powerful man who's in charge of telling people what to do. This kind of change is going to take some time, so one of the things that I love is the ability to. So one of the things that I love is the ability to help aspirant women see that there is a place and there will be a place for them and, in fact, that the way that they like to live and learn and work is actually going to be valued by their workplace Not all the time, but to persist at it, because your best, authentic self is exactly what the people that you lead are looking for. There's a lot of gender stuff from history that we need to get over, but just to understand that you at your best will be your best leader.

Jenny Cole:

Brene Brown describes a leader as anybody who can see potential in people and processes and encourage that to move forward so you can lead from wherever you are. You don't need an official title. You can be a teacher leader, you can be a head of learning, you can be all sorts of things and still be leading both processes and people. And the first way that we talked about in terms of leading with authenticity is that understanding that you deeply need to know yourself, because when you are very comfortable with yourself as Maslow would put it, self-actualizing, which is I know who I am, I know my strengths, I know what I'm here to do then you can lead with authenticity. So we shared some ways that you can do that. We shared DISC, we shared strengths, we shared some self-reflection who am I when I'm at my best? And, importantly, who do I want to be when I'm leading? And hopefully that's not something radically different to who are you at your best?

Jenny Cole:

Because when you understand your emotional intelligence, which is what are my moods, what are my motivations, what are the emotions that I'm feeling, what do I like or hate about the situation that I'm in. Then you're able to notice those kind of default thoughts and behaviors that either work for you or get in your way. So, with emotional intelligence, we talked about those above the line and below the line behaviours. We all can slip into low emotional intelligence, and that's okay. The trick is to understand that there's a space between reacting and responding, and so when we have a really good understanding of ourselves, that space gets bigger. We understand that we have some default reactions and we can turn those reactions into well thought out responses.

Jenny Cole:

When we're not clear about those things as leaders, if we're not self-assured, if we're not sitting in our best self, we can get threatened, and when all of us are threatened in some way, we put on an armour, and so that armour could be as subtle as sarcasm, coming back in a situation that makes you feel challenged in some way, annoyed or put upon with just some sarcasm. Or it could be hustling and always proving your worth, always trying to prove that you know it or that you're being right rather than getting it right. So, again, this is Brene Brown's notion of brave versus armoured leadership. And the better that we know ourselves, the better that we know what our triggers are, the better we know where we go to when we don't feel very comfortable, the easier it is for us to get out of that, to drop that armour, which is heavy and exhausting and will drag you down as a leader. And the easier we can get rid of that, the easier it will be to move through both our work and our leadership journey with more ease and more joy. And one of the things that gets in the way of ease and joy, particularly for women, is confidence. So we had that whole module on confidence. Particularly for women, is confidence. So we had that whole module on confidence.

Jenny Cole:

So, whether it's a huge issue for you or something that just pops up, just to be aware that confidence is something that you can build, something that you can change in the moment. So that work of Amy Cuddy about changing your physiology, it can interrupt that stress cycle that says I don't know, I'm not good enough, what if people notice? And can give you those temporary moments of confidence. But then there are those more sort of ingrained things such as our attitude to risk, our attitude to failure, our want to fix things that aren't strengths and, if you remember, I say that that's a very slow boat to nowhere. The best way to build your confidence is to work on those things that are already working for you, and so over the course of these modules, you've collected lots of information about who you are at your best, including asking other people what they think and what are some words that describe you. I want you to take all of that when you're not feeling confident and say how can I be more of that, or how much of that can I see in that situation that is really causing my confidence to wobble. So that confidence work is predominantly based on the work of Kay and Shipman in their book the Confidence Code, so I encourage you to go and take a look at that.

Jenny Cole:

I strongly believe that many of us spend far more time choosing our clothes or choosing our curtains or choosing where to go to on holidays than we do choosing the career that we want. Instead, we find ourselves where we are by accident. We put it down to good luck rather than hard work, and that means sometimes that we can waste a lot of time and energy, perhaps heading off in the wrong direction. So, in creating the career that you want, we looked at a little bit of goal setting, a little bit of visualization. We talked about the real benefit of mentors, coaches, sponsors and networks.

Jenny Cole:

So I hope that you've used every single opportunity to expand your networks wherever humanly possible, and I don't want you to think that networking is some event that you need to go to. It is literally that person that you sat next to at a professional learning event that you've never met before. They are your network. The people in this group are now your network. So if you've never met before, they are your network. The people in this group are now your network. So if you've been listening and watching and thinking I really admire that person, or that person seems to work in a similar place than me, then use the opportunity before the Facebook group closes to make connections with people.

Jenny Cole:

The worst thing anyone can say is no, and no is not fatal, it is just no, not now, I'm sorry, and they are not your best people. So don't ever feel shy about just asking for a connection, because maybe, just maybe, you can assist them too. So I want you to think about networking in terms of what can I share and what can I give, rather than necessarily what can I take. So the first part was all about you. Who am I? Who am I being? Who do I want to be? Who is my best authentic self?

Jenny Cole:

The second part of launching into leadership was about some of the tips and tricks and tools that you can use, particularly in the early stages of your leadership journey, be that literally your journey or in the first couple of weeks and months of leading a team of people. And Starting Strong is a fabulous resource that I hope you go back to over time, because some of it won't make much sense to you unless you're actually starting something, and if you're moving into semester two or if you're starting a new year, these might be really good times to re-look at that information and say what do I need to bring to my team or my committee or my group in this half of the year? So starting strong is, as a leader, setting really clear expectations, the road rules for how we do it around here, because this builds trust. And the key to starting strong in fact, the key to finishing strong is making sure that you have trust with the people in your team. Trust goes in in five-cent pieces and floods out in hundred dollar bills. And trust is that you can trust me that I'm going to be reliable. I'm going to be transparent and open with you. I'm going to say it how it is and not be wishy-washy, and I'm going to be consistent. You're going to know what you're going to get from me.

Jenny Cole:

The other thing that is crucial at the beginning of any team is establishing, as I said, the expectations, which builds trust, and also helping people to understand what they can get from you, but also to make sure that we're clear about why this team exists. What's our one thing? What are we charged with doing? If we were successful, what would be happening? Crucial to start, it's part of the expectations, but it's even bigger than that. What's our vision? And, as the leader, you're responsible for leading that vision not creating it and imposing it, but gathering it from the other people that you work with, and you're the person that's job is to make sure that every time you have a meeting or an interaction, you're thinking is this getting us closer to what we want? Is this getting us closer to the literacy outcomes that we're after? Is this getting us closer to building a PBS framework.

Jenny Cole:

Whatever the one thing is for your group, as the leader, it's your job to make sure that you stay on track with that, and one of the ways that you can do that is through properly crafted, well-run meetings. Meetings that have norms, meetings that have really clear timelines, meetings that cover both the operational and the collaborative or brainstorming. So people and processes. Again, I keep coming down to this Leadership comes down to two things managing the people, managing the processes and understanding at which point you're doing what and trying to get the balance right. And again, as a leader, not so much in beginning leadership, but it's about holding people accountable. Sure, we're going to support you, but then we're going to hold you accountable to make sure that we're getting closer to our one thing, that we have the behaviours that we need to get closer to our one thing, and that we're following the processes and the formats and we're making the most of people's strengths so that we get closer to that thing that we're here to do. So Starting Strong came with a PDF download and that's yours. Download it, keep it somewhere safe. When you've forgotten about it, go back to it.

Jenny Cole:

Leading people can be really, really tough and our first impulse is to help. Let me help you do that, and the way in which you help will be different, probably based on your DISC. Star D's version of help is well, let me just do it because it's faster. That's the most helpful thing I could be. I would just do it, and that way no one else has to think about it. I's might help in terms of enthusiasm and ideas and clapping people cheerleading them along, and also they think they're helping by giving lots of ideas Best for steadiness. Folk really think that helpful is being there doing it, working alongside taking the pressure away from people. Let me take that from you, because that will reduce your burden, and Cs think that the best way that they can help is to provide details and research and lots more information, and all of those things are helpful in moderation.

Jenny Cole:

But we talked about monkeys. We talked about how giving advice is not helpful. Instead, what is helpful is a coaching approach to leadership, where it's our job to stay curious just a little bit longer. Curious about what's really the issue here for you that needs solving. Curious about whether the person that we're looking at has the capacity to do it, and chances are they do. They might not think they do, but they do, and just like we do with students, where we give them every opportunity to stretch and to grow and to try something new. That's what we need to do as leaders Provide the people that we lead with opportunities to be their best self more often, to use their strengths, to do some of the thinking, to get closer to the vision, to understand the behaviours that they need in order to get closer to the vision.

Jenny Cole:

And so a coaching approach to leadership says I trust that you have capacity, and I don't mean time capacity. I trust that you are skilled enough. I trust that you have the intellectual capacity to do what it is that I'm asking of you. So if we continue to take things away from people, what that actually says is I don't trust you, I don't trust that you know enough. I don't trust you. I don't trust that you know enough. I don't trust that you can do it fast enough. I don't trust that you're going to do it as well. Or using the research.

Jenny Cole:

And we disempower people, and no one goes into leadership to say I'm going into leadership because I'm going to disempower everybody that I work with, so helping is not always helpful. Disempower everybody that I work with, so helping is not always helpful. In fact, what it does is you end up with those monkeys firmly on your back and remember monkeys are not the problem, monkeys are the next step. So if we can help the people that we lead to identify the next step, the people that we lead to identify the next step, then we can work and coach them towards taking that next step. So, in terms of the GROW model, the next step is that bit between where are you now reality and where do you need to be, and in the middle are the options. So what's an option for the next step and what do we need to know or be able to do in order to get there? So, practising our questions, practising staying curious, practising noticing that urge to jump in and help and save and fix, and taking a deep breath and saying to yourself if I do that, I'm saying that the people that I'm working with don't have the skills, the capacity, the knowledge, the intellect to do it.

Jenny Cole:

And, lastly, leading with balance and wellbeing. So, boundaries saying yes more slowly. Boundaries saying yes more slowly, being really clear about where you start and finish in terms of your work. But I want to remind you that woven all the way through this course are positive psychology strategies with research support Research support to say that they are good for your wellbeing. These include goal setting, these include strengths, journalling, boundaries, self-care, coaching, coaching both yourself, but a coaching approach to leadership. So, while the actual module on leading with balance was small all the way through, here are strategies to improve your self-care and to improve your well-being. So if you can remove the monkeys off your back by asking questions a coaching approach to leadership that's going to improve your wellbeing. If you can remove the monkeys from your back by journaling and noticing when you are armoring up, then that's going to improve your wellbeing. If, by staying curious a little bit longer, you stop jumping in to save people, then this is going to improve your wellbeing. So make sure you continue to use some of these strategies the journaling you might want to add a little bit of gratitude practice, getting into some habits that are going to serve you well, because there is no magic bullet to wellbeing in leadership. You need to look after yourself and to set really good wellbeing foundations in terms of expectations, boundaries. Practices that are going to support your wellbeing will help you to ride out the tough times.

Jenny Cole:

Leadership is hard and Brené says embrace the suck. It's hard intellectual work because there is a lot going on in your head that often you cannot express to the people that you lead. You're trying to think of questions, you're trying to manage your emotions, you're trying to make sure that you're strategic. You're trying to just literally manage those day-to-day incidences. So leadership is situational. It says what's the situation that I'm in and what can I best bring to this situation.

Jenny Cole:

So is this a situation where I just need to tell people what to do? Is this a situation where I need to give some quality feedback? Is this a situation where I can slowly develop and work and coach this person so that they will eventually know how to do this and do it beautifully, and will only come back to me for support, not to bail them out of some dreadful situation? So I'm not sure you thought that launching into leadership was going to be such an internal journey. But trust me, if you don't get your inside right, you will never master leadership and you will always lead in a way that feels inauthentic, that is hard and that will potentially lead to burnout self. Who do I want to be? Who do I need to dial up? What do I need to dial down. How can I be my best self in this situation at this time? I wish you all the very best and I encourage you to hang around, because there will be more units, more courses and more lessons about some of those prickly things that really get in the way of leadership, such as giving tough feedback and having hard conversations. But for the time being, congratulations, well done for making it this far and I look forward to seeing you soon.

Jenny Cole:

Thank you for listening and just a reminder again that that audio was one of the final pieces of information that summarises the course Launching into Leadership. It built on eight other modules in the online program, but it is also the basis of what we cover in the two-day face-to-face Launching into Leadership. I love this program. People walk away from it going oh wow, I wish I'd known that earlier, or that's just really set me up well to be the leader that I want to be, because we all know that self-leadership is probably the key to any leadership role is being able to understand yourself first and then have some tools and strategies for how to lead others. If you're interested in booking into Launching Into Leadership June 14th and 15th, there are links below, or you can head to the website www. positivelybeaming. com. au. And next week we will have another interview with another wise and wonderful school leader. Look forward to seeing you then.