S1 Ep 7 Echoes of Silence

In Season 1, Episode 7, Echoes of Silence, of "Growing Older Together," Lourdes talks about coping with the absence of loved ones. She shares her own experience of dealing with the silence that comes after her adult son stopped being a part of her life. She discusses how it changed her and how she's learned to find peace and strength through it. 

Lourdes gives five tips for anyone who is going through something similar, covering everything from allowing yourself to feel your emotions to finding support and rediscovering your interests. The episode invites listeners to share their own experiences with lost connections, aiming to build a community where everyone feels supported. 

There's also a special segment featuring a poem sent in by a listener, showing the power of sharing our stories and creative expressions. Lourdes encourages everyone to send in their own poems, stories, or artwork as a way of coming together and helping each other grow.

CONTACT INFORMATION:
Remember to subscribe and rate the podcast on your favorite platform. You can watch all episodes on my YouTube channels, access show notes, and enjoy captioned content in English and Spanish. Here's the link: https://linktr.ee/growingoldertogether.

You can also email me at podcast@lourdesdirden.com. Thank you for listening.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Music

[00:00:19] Welcome back to Growing Older Together. Season One, Echoes of the Past, Visions of Tomorrow. I'm Lourdes. 

[00:00:29] In today's episode, Echoes of Silence, I am sharing something personal - how it feels when the once-familiar voices of friends, family, or, in my case, my adult son become distant memories. This silence is not just emptiness; it is filled with the echoes of what used to be a reminder of their absence. 

[00:00:55] We will explore moving through this stillness, [00:01:00] finding our way toward healing, and understanding the deep impact of the silent echoes in our lives. Have you ever noticed how silence can feel overwhelming? Since my son stopped being a part of my life, the silence feels heavier than before. I miss hearing his voice asking, "Mom, 

[00:01:25] are you good?" Or just him saying, "Mom." The absence of these sounds has been hard to handle. 

[00:01:33] Here's what happened. About two and a half years ago, my son texted me, changing everything. His words were clear and final. Making the end of our time together. He felt our relationship had long been broken. And asked for no further contact. Learning to live with this silence has taught me a lot. [00:02:00] The first year was incredibly tough. I often felt overwhelmed with sadness or full of unanswered questions. Sometimes, anger bubbled up quietly inside me. There were moments of waiting for a message that never came, a hope to heal our hearts, but it remained just that -a hope. Gatherings happened, celebrations where I was the only one 

[00:02:29] not there. Knowing life goes on just around the corner and you are no longer invited to participate is a strange pain. The silence in these moments speaks louder than any words could. 

[00:02:44] Growing older is not just about time passing. It is about our spirits growing and our hearts getting stronger. We are not just growing older, but wiser and stronger. [00:03:00] I am not the same person I was a few years back. I have learned to be at peace with silence. To see it, not as emptiness, but as a place where I have grown. It is where I have learned that everyone's journey is their own, including my son. 

[00:03:22] Watching him from a distance, knowing he is pursuing his happiness, is enough for me because he deserves it. If you are experiencing a similar silence, remember you are not alone. I cannot say I'm completely fine, but I am moving forward, embracing who I am today. Our journeys through silence are unique, but I want to share five tips that have helped me find peace.

[00:03:55] Number One: Allow Yourself to Feel. Feeling angry, [00:04:00] sad or confused is okay. These emotions are part of the journey. Recognize them and feel them fully. Number Two: Seek Out Support. Do not go through this alone. Whether it's friends, other family members or professional help, connection is a powerful medicine to silence. For me, my sisters, and a close family friend, Mari, have listened to me, and helped me move forward. Number Three: Rediscover 

[00:04:39] Yourself. Discover 

[00:04:42] new hobbies, reconnect with old passions and remember the parts of yourself that exists independently of your relationship with the person who has stepped back. Remember who you are [00:05:00] outside of your relationships. 

[00:05:02] Number Four: Set Boundaries for Healing. 

[00:05:07] Protect your energy. Decide what you need to know and what you can let go of. I had to stop listening to what my son was saying about me. It would affect my energy and my demeanor. It is different now. My mind and spirit are stronger. Even though words do not affect me like they used to, there is still no need to listen to anything that does not make me feel good or help me move forward. 

[00:05:39] And Number Five: Release Control. Accept that you cannot control others' actions or feelings, only how you respond. Sometimes letting go is the most loving thing you can do for yourself.

[00:05:59] My [00:06:00] son decided to take a step back, which was his choice. It affected me a lot, but I respect his decision. This experience has revealed a strength in me I did not realize I had, showing me that love can mean hoping for someone's happiness from a distance. 

[00:06:23] Have you ever had a friend or family member who used to be a big part of your life but is not around anymore? How did you get through it? Your story could help someone else going through the same thing. I'd love to hear from you. You can find my contact information when you scroll down to the show notes. Let's share our stories and help each other feel less alone. 

[00:06:51] Next week. We're talking about making new connections. We will look at how new friendships and reconnecting with old [00:07:00] friends can add something special to our lives. Have you met someone recently who's become important to you or perhaps reconnected with someone from your past? I am interested in your stories of new and old friends returning to your life. It's never too late to meet someone new or to reach out to someone you have lost touch with. This episode is about the simple joy of being open to new people. Learning from each other and just how much that can mean. I am excited to hear about your experiences meeting new people or getting back in touch with old friends. Let's discuss how these new or renewed connections have changed your life. 

[00:07:50] Before I finish, please subscribe on your favorite podcast app. And if you enjoyed this episode, share it with someone you think may [00:08:00] enjoy it too. Your support helps our community grow. For additional information, look at the show notes for some helpful resources.

[00:08:10] To close, I am doing something different today because one of our listeners sent me a poem, and I wanted to share it. This person wishes to remain anonymous. Here it is. 

[00:08:24] As a gentle breeze blew past me, the day beautiful with a foggy haze. The way I felt inside was akin to this day. Confused and alone yet rich in the knowledge that I would be okay. That there must be some greater plan for my life to make me suffer so much right now. It's a hard road I must journey through but at the end I will find peace and happiness. Dear Lord let me be [00:09:00] brave. One day I will no longer be in a fog, the day will shine bright and the sky will be a glorious shade of blue. 

[00:09:10] This poem was written on November 13th, 2005, 19 years ago. And it is the first time it has been read and shared by someone else. This beautiful poem reflects everything this season, Echoes of the Past, Visions of Tomorrow, stands for. It's deep and heart-driven, mixing passion, pain and hope. It captures the essence of moving from tough times into better days. It offers a reminder of resilience and hope. Thank you for allowing me to be your voice.

[00:09:49] I have a special invitation for all of you. If today's stories touched your heart, sparked a memory or inspired you, I'd love to see your creativity, [00:10:00] shine through. Whether it's a poem that captures your feelings or a story that echoes your experiences, your creative expressions are a powerful part of our journey together. You can find out how to submit your work in the show notes. Okay. That's it for today. Thank you for listening. Until next week, let's grow older and wiser together.