S1 Ep 11 Navigating Relationships and Perspectives

In Season 1, Episode 11, Navigating Relationships and Perspectives, of "Growing Older Together," we talk about how old fears can shape how we act and connect with people now. We hear from Stephanie, who shares how early experiences of rejection affected her ability to make friends and trust others. Her story encourages us to look at our own lives and think about how our fears influence our relationships.

We also discuss ways to handle these fears and learn from Joe, another listener, who found that sharing his feelings and being open was crucial to improving his relationships. We discuss the importance of listening, understanding others, and working together to create healthier bonds.

Think about your experiences: Have old fears shaped your interactions with others? Share your stories with us through social media or email, listed in the show notes. Together, let’s discover how to turn our past difficulties into chances for growth and better connections.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:
* Northwestern Medicine |  Five Things You Never Knew About Fear, Understanding The Science of Fear https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/emotional-health/5-things-you-never-knew-about-fear#:~:text=Fear
* Henry Ford Health | The Science of Fear
https://www.henryford.com/blog/2019/10/the-science-of-fear
* Open University | The Science of Fear
https://www.open.edu/openlearn/health-sports-psychology/psychology/the-science-fear

CONTACT INFORMATION:
Remember to subscribe and rate the podcast on your favorite platform. You can watch all episodes on my YouTube channels, access show notes, and enjoy captioned content in English and Spanish. Here's the link: https://linktr.ee/growingoldertogether.

You can also email me at podcast@lourdesdirden.com. Thank you for listening.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Music

[00:00:19] Welcome back to "Growing Older Together," Season One: 'Echoes of the Past, Visions of Tomorrow.' I'm Lourdes. In today's episode, we examine how our past conflicts and fears can shape our present relationships and how learning new ways of thinking can lead to healthier connections. Today, we are talking about how our past fears can impact our present. For many of us, these fears—like being rejected, failing, or even succeeding—can interfere with our relationships and how we [00:01:00] react to others. Let's discuss Stephanie's story, one of our listeners who shared her experience with us. Her struggle began in elementary school, a place for making friends over shared lunches and games. Yet for Stephanie, it was also when she first felt left out, not invited to a classmate's birthday party, an event that deeply hurt her young heart. 

[00:01:31] This feeling of rejection did not stop there. It followed her as she grew, pushing her to put up barriers to protect herself, barriers that ended up isolating her instead. Her fear of rejection shaped how she interacted with everyone, keeping potential friends at a distance to avoid getting hurt. It was not until her late twenties that a [00:02:00] colleague noticed her hesitation to join a team retreat and asked about it. Stephanie realized then how much she let her past fears control her life. Therapy was challenging for Stephanie, but it was also where she began to heal. She learned new ways to think about her interactions and slowly began to trust others 

[00:02:28] and, more importantly, herself. 

[00:02:33] Stephanie's experience shows us how much courage it takes to rewrite our stories, turning past pain into genuine connections today. 

[00:02:45] Think about your life. Can you remember a time when a similar fear affected you? How did it impact your relationships? I would love to hear your thoughts and stories. You can share them through [00:03:00] social media or email. My contact information is on the show notes listed below. 

[00:03:07] How many of us have allowed past fears to control our actions? It's a common experience, one that I have faced too. Today, I invite you to reflect on a past fear or conflict. How has it affected your relationships? Can you spot any patterns in your behavior? To help you understand more, I will include a couple of links on the Science of Fear. We will explore this topic more next season. 

[00:03:43] 

[00:03:43] Moving forward with new ideas is like opening a window in a stuffy room—letting fresh air in and bringing new energy. Here's a story from Joe, one of our listeners who shared his experience [00:04:00] with us. Joe started seeing a therapist after a significant loss. This step marked a new beginning for him. Therapy helped 

[00:04:10] Joe see that by keeping his personal struggles to himself, he was creating a barrier between himself and his loved ones. Initially, he believed that keeping his problems to himself was a sign of strength. During therapy. Joe learned that real strength comes from being open and willing to connect with others. Joe also changed the way he interacted with his friends and family. He focused on listening more attentively, trying to fully understand what others were saying without thinking about his response. He made an effort to view situations from other people's perspectives and approach conflicts as opportunities to solve [00:05:00] problems together rather than as battles to win. 

[00:05:05] These changes—better listening, empathizing, and cooperating—helped Joe improve his existing relationships and build new ones based on respect and understanding. As we hear Joe's story, consider the new ideas you could welcome into your life. What new ways of thinking could improve your relationships? I would love to hear your thoughts and stories. They will add to our discussion and may help others see things differently. Before I finish, subscribe to your favorite podcast platform to know when the next episode is available. If you enjoyed this episode, consider sharing it. It helps our community grow. Also, you can listen to these episodes with captions in Spanish and English [00:06:00] on my YouTube Channel. You will find more details and resources in the show notes. 

[00:06:07] In the next episode, 'Embracing New Hobbies and Skills', we will look at how trying different activities can refresh our spirits and minds. Whether you want to shake up your daily routine or are simply curious about new skills, join me for this journey into the world of hobbies and personal growth. 

[00:06:32] To close, I would like to share a quote by Miguel Ruiz, author of "The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom." "Just being ourselves is the biggest fear of humans. We have learned to live our lives trying to satisfy other people's demands. We have learned to live by other people's points of view because of the fear of being [00:07:00] accepted and not being good enough for someone else." This quote tells us something important: our past troubles and fears affect how we act in relationships. Ruiz points out a basic human fear is simply being ourselves, suggesting that much of our relationship behavior is shaped by an attempt to meet others' expectations and gain their approval. This fear can make us take on beliefs and values that are not ours, which can hurt how genuine and healthy our relationships are. Okay, that's it for today. Thank you for listening. Until next week, let's grow older and wiser together. [00:08:00]