What if our greatest fear could become our most transformative guide? Join us on this week's Journey to the Soul podcast as we confront the profound and often uncomfortable topic of death. By contrasting Western and Eastern cultural views on aging and dying, we explore how reframing our relationship with death can lead to a more authentic and enriched life. We'll dive into the inevitability of death and the anxiety it often brings, sharing insights on how witnessing the loss of a loved one can prompt a deeper appreciation for the present moment and our physical existence.
In the second chapter, I open up about my own emotional journey with my mom as she neared the end of her life. Balancing my desire to support her with the necessity of honoring my own boundaries, I discovered profound lessons in acceptance and forgiveness. I learned that living authentically and appreciating the fleeting nature of life is paramount. For those currently navigating grief, I offer heartfelt encouragement to embrace all emotions, seek support, and prioritize mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Join the conversation and share your own stories on Instagram as we walk this heartfelt path together.
What if our greatest fear could become our most transformative guide? Join us on this week's Journey to the Soul podcast as we confront the profound and often uncomfortable topic of death. By contrasting Western and Eastern cultural views on aging and dying, we explore how reframing our relationship with death can lead to a more authentic and enriched life. We'll dive into the inevitability of death and the anxiety it often brings, sharing insights on how witnessing the loss of a loved one can prompt a deeper appreciation for the present moment and our physical existence.
In the second chapter, I open up about my own emotional journey with my mom as she neared the end of her life. Balancing my desire to support her with the necessity of honoring my own boundaries, I discovered profound lessons in acceptance and forgiveness. I learned that living authentically and appreciating the fleeting nature of life is paramount. For those currently navigating grief, I offer heartfelt encouragement to embrace all emotions, seek support, and prioritize mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Join the conversation and share your own stories on Instagram as we walk this heartfelt path together.
Instagram: @jacendamarie
Speaker 1:
Hi loves, welcome to the Journey to the Soul podcast. I am your host, jacinda Villa, a spiritual life coach and holistic health coach. Every week, we will be diving deep into all things purpose, wellness, spirituality and creating the life that you dream of. This space is meant to be safe and transformative for you to dive into the deepest parts of yourself. I will share what I have learned from my journey along this path years of research and mentors along the way. Having spent many years living life out of alignment and afraid to go after my dreams, I know firsthand what it means to take the first step down, living a life authentic to you. We are on this road of self-discovery together. It is time for you to live the life you imagined. Hi everyone, welcome to this week's podcast episode.
Speaker 1:
Today, we are going to be talking a little bit about death, and this is something that I know many of us are uncomfortable with. It's something that we tend to not like to think about or discuss, but I really want to highlight how our relationship with death could be something that could really serve us. I also want to share with you some things that you can keep in mind about death and how we can work on reframing our relationship with it and how we can work on reframing our relationship with it that way, if you are witnessing someone in your life perhaps pass or is going to pass, or someone has recently passed, this could be something that you could take away and apply into your life. When it comes to death, no one ever wishes for this, but dying is a process of life. We are given a certain amount of time to be on this earth, so many of us fear death and the death of those we love. This is not something to fear. It is simply another process of life, like birth and marriage. As humans, we live as if time does not exist, when death is one of the only certainties in this life. We know that one day we will leave this earth and many of us dread that moment or never even discuss it. It's like a taboo, something to never be touched. A lot of this has to do with the relationship we have around dying, and it is usually something that is tainted with fear, despair or anxiety.
Speaker 1:
I feel like eastern traditions can teach us so much about dying. Aging is not something to be feared, but rather an honor. Death is not a taboo that is not discussed or dismissed quickly, but ever-present, because in many of these cultures, death simply means an end to this life and journeying on to the next. Our duty doesn't. It does not die with our body. In the West, we are so tied to our physical body and its limitations, but we really can't blame ourselves when we are taught from a very young age that so much of our worth and ability comes from how we look or what our body can do. Fitting into the societal expectations of this, we are never taught to look beyond that, to our eternal being, that is, our soul. This is a foreign concept for many of us. In today's episode, I really want to touch on how we can look at this in a different light, in a light that is supportive rather than detrimental, because death is a part of life and many of you that may be listening may be experiencing the loss of a loved one, or someone has recently passed, and this is truly one of the most difficult things to witness in this life. But it also opens the door to a new perspective, if we choose to take it. How can we learn to embrace this more?
Speaker 1:
One of the biggest things about watching someone slowly deteriorate in front of you is knowing that their time is limited and that allows us to refocus that onto us and our life. This gives us the gift of realizing how finite life truly is. It's like suddenly you can feel the clock ticking in the background and you know that with every day that passes, you get closer to death. You get older. It is inevitable, and we see this so much as well with people who have near-death experiences. Being that close to death allows them to realize how fragile this life is and what is truly important. Being able to watch someone pass or slowly go that way allows you to be more mindful of how you want to live your life, what is meaningful for you, and it really gives you that ability to live life fully and for yourself, because nothing matters. Knowing that our time here is limited, wouldn't you rather live a life that was fully your own? Another thing that can come to light when we are in this experience is what the physical body is and how to really honor it, and knowing all that it does for you in this physical plane. This can prompt you to establish a healthier relationship with your body, to take better care of it. If you're watching someone you love pass that perhaps struggles with some kind of disease that could be caused by lifestyle choices. It really makes you think again about your lifestyle choices, and the largest thing that we can experience in these moments is to really know what it is to love deeply. And that's what this is.
Speaker 1:
When we are experiencing grief and heartache, is that wound, that possibility that this person might not be there anymore. That is why we feel so much distress. If you are going through a similar experience right now, know that what your loved one is going through is part of the process and there is a reason that it is happening now. Breathe, allow yourself to just take it all in. Let yourself feel whatever is coming up. How can you make the most of each moment you have with them? What beauty can you find here? Anchor into that. What are you trying to hold on to that perhaps you need to let go of? It's super important that you allow yourself to grieve, because this experience is as much for them as it is for you.
Speaker 1:
Grief and sadness are one of our greatest teachers. When you become overcome by them, do not shy away from it. This is how we are able to experience every spectrum of human emotion, without these moments where we feel the most low and as if nothing else matters, we would never be able to appreciate the highs and all they can bring. It gives us a new vantage point in which we can observe life. Through your life will gain a new richness. Know that there is no bad emotion. There is simply whatever you are feeling in the moment. I wanted to add another aspect to this as well, from my personal experience, and I just wanted to share some things to keep in mind.
Speaker 1:
If you are in this experience of watching someone you love pass or grieving them already, and perhaps you had a difficult relationship with them, it's hard to not only witness someone you love pass, but with the adage of having a complicated relationship with them. There is so much that comes up in this. There is so much that you feel and are trying to make sense of. It's very difficult to work through, in all honesty, because you are not only trying to work through the grief that comes with them passing, but the emotions of the relationship you had with them, which may not have been easy for you. It really is a paradox. Don't force yourself to feel a certain way because you think you need to. Considering the circumstances, your lived experience is still valid, regardless of what is happening in the moment. Be kind to yourself. Managing these conflicting emotions is very difficult. You may gain more and more understanding of it as time goes on, but you are simply doing the best you can. Clarity on these emotions may come quickly or it may come after that person passes. So just be gentle with yourself about it. Take the space and time that you need for you to process and nurture yourself. If you have a difficult relationship with this person, know that you are allowed to not be there every waking moment. They are going through this. This is a healthy boundary to have if you feel like you need it.
Speaker 1:
I know I have shared about my relationship with my mother in some past podcast episodes and my mom passed about three and a half years ago and watching her pass was a huge thing for me for a lot of reasons, leading up to the knowing that her time here was limited. I had so many emotions come through me. I had a lot of resentment towards her growing up and I worked through a lot of that as I got older. There were still parts of her that I didn't understand, how she made certain choices in our life that affected us so negatively. I just really didn't understand a lot of what she did and how she could cause so much distress to her daughters, her family.
Speaker 1:
I have really gone through a roller coaster of emotions my entire life with her, and her dying came unexpectedly, but I feel like it was divine intervention at play because she had a disease and therefore would not have a good quality of life. Her quality of life had already decreased dramatically when my sister told me that she would probably be passing in the next couple of days. I had so many emotions come up, but I knew that the right thing for her was for her to pass. I felt some of my old wounds come up and I was torn about being there to see her pass. I ultimately made the decision to go and I feel like this was the right decision for me. I was able to be there with her the last 24 hours of her life and watched her die right in front of my eyes. I watched her take her last breath right in front of me.
Speaker 1:
My mom had been in and out of the hospital for the last year leading up to this. That entire year I had many feelings about being there for her more, knowing she was struggling and her time was limited, but I was still not fully healed from our relationship. I had come a long way, but there was still some hurt there and I followed my heart and what I felt was right for me, which is to see her, but not overextending myself, to not feel the need to be there every moment, to not feel bad for not doing more, to just honor where I was in our relationship. I had done so much my entire life for her. This was one of the first times I chose to do something because it was right for me. I had really lived my entire life trying to please her.
Speaker 1:
In the past three and a half years I have gained so much more healing and so much more peace. I have nothing but love for her and I have really been able to work on the wounds I still had. I understand that she did the best that she could for me and she was simply a product of what she went through in this life. She suffered tremendously. I do wish at times that we could have had more time in this life so that we could work through all of these things, but I know that we both got what we needed. She finally had peace. She had been suffering for so long, mentally and emotionally. Every time I saw her, she told me how much she was in pain, and it pained me to not be able to help her. I was able to witness how easily we leave this world. It allowed me to start living life authentically and for myself, because life is not guaranteed to any of us yet we live as if it is. At any moment we can leave this earth, and this has been the greatest gift for me. I was also able to heal so many parts of my younger self that had been unnurtured for so long.
Speaker 1:
If you are tuning into this and you are in this darkness right now, know that you will get through this. You will feel a kaleidoscope of emotions. Let yourself feel your humanness and what it is to love deeply. I would encourage you to find support and friends and family. You don't need to go through this experience alone. Focus on taking care of your mental, emotional and spiritual well-being as you navigate this. Grief is a great teacher of life, if we allow it to be. I'm sending you all so much love, light and strength to hear your takeaways, so share them with me by leaving a comment below or heading over to my instagram at jacindamarie. I am sending you all so much love.
