Overcoming Your Grief - Episode 20

Grief.

It is unfortunately a process but a necessary process. 

And having the hope that you never go through it alone will be what gets you over it.  You need to fully understand the hope to which you have been called. 

In this episode, Justin shares his thoughtful experiences of grieving while dealing with the recent loss of his mother, and Don delicately explains the process of navigating through losses in life and how to become victorious. 

Transcript

Episode 20 - Overcoming Your Grief 

[00:00:00] Justin: Hi everyone, this is Justin Olbrantz and this is Don Schaefer. And you are listening to the Wise and the Wandering podcast for those who know the way and for those who are led astray. And if you feel like you fall into either of those categories, then you're in the right place. So let's dive in.

[00:00:31] Justin: So Don, what are we going to talk about today? 

[00:00:33] Don: Well, I think that this week we're going to talk a little bit about a topic called overcoming your grief and how important that is for all of us. Wow, that's a hard one. That is, that is. Yeah, because I know grief is, is something that everybody needs to learn how to deal with, and people experience it in different ways, because you can lose your job, you can get a divorce, you can, , you can have death in your family.

[00:00:59] Justin: Which is something that [00:01:00] I'm going through right now. You're familiar 

[00:01:02] Don: with that, and, and it can be, you know, losing a pet. You know a little fluffy could pass away or whatever, you know, this is something that hits a person And , that's where today I think it's good. Justin We just talk a little bit about what god wants us to do in those situations and to overcome it to overcome that sort 

[00:01:19] Justin: of thing Yeah, and that's quite a task that we have um,, and just speaking on that just because yeah, like I was saying it is something that I I'm currently going through.

[00:01:28] Justin: , so I guess just to get into this, if you guys have been following along, you know that my mom, I've mentioned, had cancer here in the past. It started in September, I believe, of last year. Right around, right when we started recording this podcast. Yeah, 

[00:01:43] Don: I think it was. 

[00:01:44] Justin: Yeah, right when we started recording.

[00:01:46] Justin: She was, diagnosed with non Hodgkin's lymphoma. And we went through quite a battle with that through chemo for roughly, , five or six months or so And then she got out of the [00:02:00] hospital around January I believe Yeah, she got out of the hospital around january So and she was kind of in and out and it looked like she was On the up and up.

[00:02:11] Justin: It looked like she was doing good Um, it looked like she was making a lot of progress and then You Something had happened where it came back super aggressive. 

[00:02:22] both (don): Yeah. 

[00:02:23] Justin: Yeah, and even the doctor had said it was maybe a A rare chance a rare case like a one in ten chance that this happens but what happened was so it came back super aggressive and then She did pass in Late february february 26th.

[00:02:42] both: Yeah, 

[00:02:43] Justin: so It's now, at the end of May, that was at the end of February. Yeah. I'm still going through a grieving process. Yeah. I thought this would be a good episode. To make though not only to help myself but to help a lot of people that have been through this process [00:03:00] Yeah, and it's not like you said, it's not maybe just losing a loved one.

[00:03:03] Justin: It might be a pet It might be a job. It might be anything that puts you through that process, right? Because understanding that it is a process. Yes, but today we're going to give you some wisdom right on how to overcome it We hope 

[00:03:16] Don: so. We hope so. Yeah, because that grieving is a process like you're saying there, , And I think God allows us You know to experience these things and there's reasons for it I I you know and a lot of times what people when they get into situations like that They don't let the grieving process take its full full journey And uh, you know and it causes issues in people's lives because I know i've had people in my own life I lost my mother and father too, you know, you go through these things And, uh, it's nice when you're young, if your parents, you know, help you in situations to understand it a little bit.

[00:03:53] Don: And, uh, I know, like, my children, I always tell them that whoever might be passing away is going [00:04:00] to a better place. And someday all of us are going to be going through that same route. We're on, we're on a journey right now. But, uh, but grieving is a process, I know, like in the Bible. 

[00:04:09] Justin: In the beginning, people would tell me, just to note here people would tell me that yes, she's in a better place And I would be thinking, you know, but i'm not yeah I'm not right now.

[00:04:19] Justin: I know so but yeah continue on. 

[00:04:21] Don: Yeah, you're left behind and that's and that's painful It really is, you know, and there's so many hurts in life You know, I mean, you break up with a girlfriend or something, you know, I mean, there's a lot of pain, a lot of grieving in a lot of areas, you know, the death of a parent or a sibling or whatever, you know, in a person's life, that's traumatic, you know, these are traumatic moments, right?

[00:04:43] Don: And they're meant to be handled delicately. And, uh, you know, and you, it's nice to have people around to comfort, cause it's a time of comfort. And I know like in the Bible, it, they'd take, you know, 30 days to grieve for one of the kings or someone, [00:05:00] uh, you know, in their livelihood, because they knew that there was a process they had to go through, 

[00:05:04] Justin: you know, 

[00:05:05] Don: and cause it's all a process of getting over it, 

[00:05:09] Justin: you know, 

[00:05:09] Don: and, uh, 

[00:05:10] Justin: getting it out of you, getting it out of when we become so emotional, we, we get, uh, consumed with.

[00:05:17] Justin: So much emotion, you know, there's a process there's stages I would say and with people that happens at different intervals Yes, it happens differently for everyone. Some people it might take years, right? Some people it might take months, days, whatever the case is. There's stages I think that you go through but there's things that are kind of bottled up.

[00:05:37] Justin: There's maybe like anger or there's Maybe resentment or bitterness or whatever it is, there's, there's things that you just need, whatever it is, you got to get it out of you. So if you just need to cry and you got to, you know, scream at the sky or something, you got to get it out of you. You just don't want to hold it in.

[00:05:57] Justin: I think that's, that's one of the first steps of just kind of dealing with [00:06:00] it. Cause the last stage is going to be acceptance. And that's going to be a tough one. You go from, you know, Where you start, which is, you know, sorrow or anger or whatever, and it leads to acceptance, right? Right. And that's getting there is, is, is multiple steps.

[00:06:14] Justin: Yeah. But that first part is just getting it all out. Getting it all out. And like you were saying, support groups, finding somebody, finding people. You know what helped me and what's been helping me is, Hearing people's stories 

[00:06:27] both: that have gone 

[00:06:27] Justin: through similar things and hearing other people's experiences firsthand and just talking to other people.

[00:06:34] Justin: Because as I've said, as we've said on the podcast earlier, it's like God is working through other people to get to you. So in your time of need and your time of grief and your sorrow and in that time where you're really missing somebody and you really feel like a piece has just been pulled away from you.

[00:06:51] Justin: Or you really feel like you were saying that pet that was taken from you. Right. That piece that piece that was in your life has been taken from you. He's going to use [00:07:00]people to get you back. He's going to use situations to help you. So like the support groups and stuff like that. 

[00:07:06] both: Yeah, 

[00:07:06] Justin: I, Would definitely recommend something like that.

[00:07:09] Justin: Oh, yeah, because god is going to be working through anybody To be able to help you through this situation. 

[00:07:14] Don: Yep. That is so true. You know, we need comfort in those moments 

[00:07:17] Justin: Yeah, 

[00:07:18] Don: and what you brought up there was interesting because you know, I um, I had a situation. This was a number of years ago probably about 20 years ago, but, , this mother, she lost a 16 year old daughter.

[00:07:29] Don: She found her dead in bed and, uh, they think it was because of some medication. She had a heart condition or whatever, but, you know, I sat with her and boy, she was just torn because I've done a few funerals in my day. But I sat with her and I told her, I said, you know, this is tough. You know, you're gonna have to get healed up and this is a delicate moment right now, but But in life, you either get better, or you get bitter.

[00:07:54] Don: And, um, and I, I said, you know, God is wanting to be the comforter. He's wanting to take you through all [00:08:00] this, and lead you in all this. But, you know, if you allow Him to do that, because if you don't, you know you're gonna get angry. You're going to get bitter. You're going to have all kinds of issues and things going on.

[00:08:12] Don: And I know this girl that probably didn't receive the message well. It took her about 10 years to really grasp it because she got bitter. She got bitter at God and she got bitter at family. She didn't even want to come to family gatherings or nothing, you know, any place that she see anybody enjoying their children.

[00:08:29] Don: She didn't want to be a part of any of that, you know, and, uh, but then she, , gradually. Realized that she was miserable, 

[00:08:36] (don 2): you know, 

[00:08:36] Don: and she uh went to god She went and she broke down went to god and god has given her peace, you know So now she's comfortable and it's as healed But she struggled for about 10 years because she didn't know how to get over this, you know Because she didn't allow the process and allow god to be a part of it, you know And so she was blaming and I remember a story I uh, I heard about and i've shared just I think on the [00:09:00] podcast another one You But a story about a midnight school, you know, where the, uh, gunman went in and shot up everybody in that school, killed everybody in that school.

[00:09:09] Don: Small school. I don't think 

[00:09:09] Justin: you've shared this before. Okay. 

[00:09:11] Don: There was probably about 10, 12 students in the midnight school, just a small country school. Went in there and shot up everybody and then shot himself. 

[00:09:18] (don 2): You know, and 

[00:09:19] Don: uh, that next day, the mothers of the children got together and they brought flowers to the mother of the shooter.

[00:09:27] Don: You know, it's telling them that they were sorry for what happened to her son and that she lost her son. And you say, how in the world could anybody do that? Because most people would hate this guy, hate the mother, and have anger and bitterness. Because that would be the easy 

[00:09:41] Justin: thing to do, right? That would 

[00:09:41] Don: be the easy thing, but these Mennonites were smart.

[00:09:44] Don: They realize that if they didn't do something like this, if they didn't forgive the situation, that they would carry some bitterness in their heart for the rest of their life. And that's a killer, because it affects your attitude, depression, a lot of different things that people deal with. [00:10:00] It's because of trauma and issues in their life that they haven't forgiven.

[00:10:03] Don: Really healed on, you know, and uh, and grieving is another thing, you know, it's a trauma We have to deal with and they 

[00:10:10] Justin: wanted to instead be overcomers. 

[00:10:12] Don: Yeah, 

[00:10:13] Justin: right. 

[00:10:13] Don: Yeah, they were smart enough to do that 

[00:10:15] Justin: yeah, and I think Just going back to say that everybody does deal with the process differently and you got to be patient with yourself.

[00:10:24] Justin: You have to be patient through the process, right? One thing i've Learned over the past, you know, because I've had different stages of grieving of other things in my life But in this situation with losing my mom, yeah, I felt like I lost a piece of myself Because me and my mother were really close. So I felt like there is a certain part of me.

[00:10:48] Justin: That was just gone Yeah, right. It was just kind of gone for me and I It took understanding other people's experiences. It took talking to God. It [00:11:00] took, it took praying. It took going through, you know, I would say it took going through the unknown, but going through it with hope that got me to the point that I'm at right now, where I can, where I'm in the place where I can talk about it openly because a lot of people, it's tough for them to talk about the thing, especially if they're gone through it.

[00:11:24] Justin: Right. But a lot of people. They, like you were saying, that some people get to a point where they can't even look at a picture Yeah of that person or that thing or whatever it is and they block themselves off. Right. And a lot of souls, and a lot of people, just to be real with you, block themselves off from God.

[00:11:43] Justin: They blame God. 

[00:11:44] both: Yeah. 

[00:11:45] Justin: And if I would look at my situation in retrospect with my mom, I have to understand that we're talking about a God that's love. Yeah. You know, God is love. Right. So [00:12:00] therefore, , Some people would say, well, you know, God made your mom sick.

[00:12:04] (don 2): Yeah, 

[00:12:05] Justin: or you know, it's everybody's time And I don't think that's at all the case. God is love. God did not make my mom sick. There are situations in the world The adversary like we're talking about works in different ways, too. He's got a lot of control in this world but , when Jesus was in the world, everybody was healed that came to him.

[00:12:24] Justin: Everyone was healed because that was the will of God. Like we talked about in previous episodes, he only did the will of God, right? So the will of his father, our father, is for everyone to be healed. You have to understand that first. That's the will of the father. Everybody is to be healed. So God doesn't want someone to die of cancer.

[00:12:45] Justin: No, God doesn't want someone to die these horrible deaths or whatever the case is through these illnesses God doesn't want your dog to go get hit by a car. No, that that's that's not from God. So just Dissecting that and understanding that it's a crucial [00:13:00] part and getting through that Yeah, because you might spend years blaming something on God that wasn't from God right and you might not understand Why it was done and you then you because then the question comes to mind of well, why did God allow it, right?

[00:13:14] Justin: That's normally gonna be a follow up question. That's the unknown. There's there's different factors that go into that Yeah, and understanding what we're up against in this world. Yeah, but What's true, and what the fact is, is that it didn't come from God. It wasn't from God. So I think when you can come to that understanding, you have a much better path at going through those stages and actually overcoming that grief.

[00:13:38] Justin: Because you do it with a hope, and you do it with a hope of knowing what is on the other side, and and you do it with the hope of knowing that you can get through it. Right. 

[00:13:49] Don: And I'm going to put a little twist on this. Sure. Because I know God has got love and he's wanting the best for everybody.

[00:13:56] Don: And he doesn't want anybody to suffer and this and that. But, I believe [00:14:00]God uses situations as opportunities because I know a lot of times going through the process of losing somebody helps change your focus on life a little bit 

[00:14:13] Justin: because 

[00:14:13] Don: I know myself. I've, uh, had, I won't call it an opportunity, but I have, uh, even 

[00:14:19] Justin: just being at a funeral can bring people to the acceptance of God.

[00:14:24] Justin: Yeah. That's where I'm going. 

[00:14:25] Don: Yeah. Cause I know I, I was teeing you 

[00:14:27] Justin: up there. You were teeing me 

[00:14:29] Don: up. No, I had, I had the opportunity to, , and I shouldn't call it an opportunity, but I've done funeral services, you know, and I've, um, done a number of them for people. Because I like to talk about good things and I know I always tell people God has prepared a place for everyone and But I it is a process and what I find when i'm sitting there talking Fact is i'll just share this.

[00:14:53] Don: I I talked at , it was an indian church I don't even know where it was Yeah, but this is many years ago, but it was supposed [00:15:00] to be the first church in the state of wisconsin Okay, it had rickety floors and all this stuff but the guy that that, uh, passed away. He came to a, , a time where I spoke and we became friends.

[00:15:11] Don: His first name was Don. So I, anybody named Don had to be good. 

[00:15:16] both: But, uh, 

[00:15:16] Don: but we had a, a connection there. So when he passed away, his wife asked me if I'd do the funeral. I says, I'd be honored to do that. So I went up there and talk, but I find that people in that state are much more open to think about God.

[00:15:30] Don: You know, sometimes it's an avenue where you can reach people in the right way. Mm-Hmm. and myself, I, I usually step in there and I talk about, you know, not just this life, but where we're going. And I, and like you were mentioning, it's a better place. It's not a better place for the people that are left behind because they've lost their loved one.

[00:15:47] (don 2): Right. 

[00:15:48] Don: But in reality, in reality. Their journey is over, you know, I mean, they are entering into a realm. All of us are going to, but it is over, but it can be an opportunity that God can use [00:16:00] to help people start to realize and focus on their lives. And, , I know myself when I get those opportunities, I never turn them down because a lot of times I've got them.

[00:16:09] Don: You know, I mean, they are open because something inside them hit them and it opened them up to listen, to hear whatever the word might be and say encouraging words and directing people. It gives them hope. It comforts them sharing the word of God. It comforts them, makes them feel good about the situation, even though it might be horrendous, you know, it might be horrendous and, and, you know, and it wants to make you break down and cry.

[00:16:35] Don: You know, there's some times I'm ministering with these people, I want to break down and cry myself, you know, they're, they're really emotional and stuff. And you, you can understand all that, 

[00:16:44] (don 2): but 

[00:16:44] Don: cause they have lost a part of a life in that was a part of their life, you know, but if in those moments, and that's where myself, I had done some thinking through the time and, uh,, I've thought about this, you know, why does God allow grieving [00:17:00] to be a part of our life?

[00:17:01] Don: And I think there is a, there is a place in there for it, you know, and it's different than losing a job and losing a girlfriend or losing a loved one. It's a process of realizing who God is. And the grief for the wrongs that we have done towards him, 

[00:17:19] both: you 

[00:17:19] Don: know, once we can get ourselves, because I know the Bible talks about, , the gift of repentance, 

[00:17:24] (don 2): you 

[00:17:25] Don: know, and I, and I shared a message one time that, you know, it's easy to just repent.

[00:17:30] Don: So you get your kids and they do something wrong and they say, well, I'm sorry. Cause they don't like the outcome, you know, they're going to lose their phone for a week or whatever, they're sorry, but will they do it again? Probably, they'll probably do that, but true repentance is a different thing. It's a brokenness, it's a brokenness where you grieve, you realize the wrong you've done, you realize that you need help in life, you know, you need something to free you from this.

[00:17:53] Don: You're totally disgusted whatever so I think the grieving process and this is where jesus I think in the garden of [00:18:00] gethsemane Is so that all the sins were cast upon him that he sweat like drops of blood You know, he had a miserable night there because because he was feeling all the effects and everything the 

[00:18:11] Justin: anxiety that was getting through Yeah, all the 

[00:18:13] Don: wrongdoings of the world everything thing.

[00:18:15] Don: You know, and I think the grieving process that's inside of us, that we feel in a loss of something is part of something that we need to come to God, you know, to seek after his comfort. That's a good point. Keep, seek after his direction in life. And uh,, so 

[00:18:32] Justin: he's going to be our source for us to get us through.

[00:18:34] Justin: through that. Yeah. Talk about overcoming. Yeah, that's, you go to the source for that. That's right. And 

[00:18:40] Don: sometimes to have that understanding, 

[00:18:42] Justin: you know, 

[00:18:42] Don: to realize that your life is not going to be perfect all the time. You know, fluffy might pass away, you know, and, , things might happen in your life, but you have to realize it's part of your life.

[00:18:53] Don: It's part of what an element in you that God is wanting to use. 

[00:18:58] Justin: Yeah, and one of the things that got [00:19:00] me through that, touching on what you were saying, is it is part of your life, and just, I guess I felt lucky, you know, I got to a place where I could feel lucky that I was able to have known my mom and experienced a life with her and to have been her son for as long as I did.

[00:19:18] Justin: Instead of thinking about the, Years that I missed because she was only 65 when she passed So I feel like you could either focus on that negatively Or you could look at it and feel lucky and feel grateful. Yeah and change your perspective Yeah, which is easier said than done. But right the way you do that is by Shifting your focus and attention on what matters and what's important Like I was saying before doing it with hope because when you have the hope of knowing, 

[00:19:46] both: you know, 

[00:19:47] Justin: I know where my mom is Yeah, I know she's no longer suffering.

[00:19:50] Justin: Right? I know she's I know she's in a better place Yeah, I know she's reunited with God and I know one day I'll be reunited with her Hey, man, and it's just looking [00:20:00] it's knowing that alone Yeah, we'll help get you through the process and overcome it. That's right, because This is often like a cliche in the Bible, but we are all overcomers, 

[00:20:11] both (don): right?

[00:20:12] Justin: And we, , Jesus overcame death, right? To show us that we have an eternal life. And and Jesus showed us we have an eternal life. So when we abide by that, we understand that we also will overcome death and we'll have an eternal life as believers. So when you have that perspective, when you have that mindset, Yeah.

[00:20:33] Justin: I think that is the only way you can truly overcome it. 

[00:20:36] Don: Right. Right. 

[00:20:38] Justin: And, and, you know In the sense of losing a loved one. 

[00:20:40] Don: Yeah. Oh, yeah. That stuff. And they always say, you know, they, they passed. You know, so and so passed away. 

[00:20:47] (don 2): Yeah. But 

[00:20:47] Don: they, you know, it's just a passing. It's a passing from this life to the next life.

[00:20:52] both (don): You know 

[00:20:52] Don: and in a lot of a lot of people celebrate it, you know Like you had a celebration for your mother Janet, you know a [00:21:00] time for the family to get together and a celebration So it in some ways it should be celebrated, you know But it is hard for those are left behind because you still have the memories and the clothes Yeah, 

[00:21:11] Justin: and the memories are good And I think honestly the memories are what gets you through this as well to over when you really focus on not the bad memories Yeah Because your mind's gonna go there.

[00:21:22] Justin: Your mind is gonna play all different scenarios with grief. The what if game, the could've, should've, would've. Blame it on yourself, blame it on somebody else, blame it on them. Sometimes, you know, , but there's those games that your mind plays. But focusing on the good, pure moments that you had with that person or with that pet or that loved one, whatever it is, those good memories will really get you through a lot of things.

[00:21:48] Justin: That's really get you through the hard times. That's right. Because you can, you really have those with you forever. And I think that's one thing that , that I realized over this time is that I did lose [00:22:00] physical I did lose my mom physically, but there are pieces of her that I will get to. There are experiences, there are moments, there are things that she's said to me.

[00:22:11] Justin: There are things that she taught me 

[00:22:13] Justin: That will live on forever with me and my children's lives. And that legacy moves forward. We take her with us for the rest of our lives until we're reunited, right? 

[00:22:23] Don: That's why I look at you, Justin. I feel like I know your mother. 

[00:22:26] Justin: Yeah, you 

[00:22:27] Don: know because I feel like part of you is your mother and your representation of what she birthed into this world.

[00:22:32] Don: Yeah, and I am. Yeah, but you know when you talk about, I don't know if I got time for a story here, but Yeah, you got time. I do get time. Okay. I don't want to carry things on, but when you talk about the Perception how you see things and you know as far as Looking at it and getting angry or whatever might be how you get through it and stuff I it reminds me of a story and this was a story that took place a long time ago.

[00:22:56] Don: Okay, and , This gentleman was traveling around he came to a [00:23:00] church He went into a church service and there was a church runner And uh for those that don't know what a church runner is This was a person. I don't know what a church runner is. This is where they're praising the lord singing songs And somebody all of a sudden runs around the church praising God with their hands up in the air You know, they'll they'll run around church Well, they had a church runner and he was running around the church and this visitor said said to the pastor He says boy, you know your church is a pretty spiritual church You know, there's excitement that guy that was running around and all that and he said Well, you don't realize this guy, you don't know the story, but this guy just got news this morning that his wife and family were coming over on a ship and the ship sunk, he lost his whole family.

[00:23:39] both: So 

[00:23:39] Don: he wanted not to have to suffer the anguish that he could have suffered, 

[00:23:45] both: even 

[00:23:45] Don: though he was sorry for the whole situation, but he started praising God. He just, just got into praising God and lifting up God because he didn't want to lose that connection. Because that's where that comfort is. And then, adding on to this story, I ran into a lady, and this was probably [00:24:00] maybe 5, 10 years ago.

[00:24:01] Don: And, she was a very spiritual, you know, she's actually written books and stuff like that. So, I went out to dinner with her, but she lost her husband. She lost her husband and she says, Don, she said, you know, this is hard, but I didn't feel grief. 

[00:24:17] both: She 

[00:24:17] Don: says I went before the Lord and how people would normally think of grief.

[00:24:21] Don: She says God took that from me. God took, she says some of the people around me couldn't understand. It isn't that I didn't love Charlie. Right, but god took the grief. He took the pain, 

[00:24:32] both: you know, he 

[00:24:32] Don: took the pain away, you know, and , And she was very humble about it and saying that you know, and that's the first time I heard that You know and because I know the bible says that he is a comforter, you know That even 

[00:24:43] Justin: goes back to our last topic about grace, right?

[00:24:46] Justin: You were given you're given that grace to get over the pain. Yes 

[00:24:49] Don: Yes. Yeah, he gives us without 

[00:24:51] Justin: any doing of your own. 

[00:24:52] Don: That is true. That is true. And that's where myself I know Mentally Getting ourselves prepared [00:25:00] because it seems like loss and situations are always going to happen somewhere in line.

[00:25:06] Don: You know, sometimes you sit there and say, Boy, you know, how many years is it going to be? Or what's going to happen now? Or sometimes the people say it comes in twos and threes and stuff like that. But I think if you can mentally prepare yourself, and I think God helps you do that. And like you say, Building that grace and letting God allow grace and things, it'll help you through the process.

[00:25:26] Don: Because we have to get, not only do we feel the hurt, we have to get over it. We have to get over the grieving process. And it takes sometimes a while. But over 

[00:25:34] Justin: and overcoming, right? And overcoming. And we have to get over it. 

[00:25:37] Don: That's right. We have to get over it. , And, uh, , and it is a process and that's where it's good to have people around.

[00:25:42] Don: It's good to have a body of believers and people that are lifting you up and saying those good stories you're talking about because it lifts you up and carries you through a time where you're very delicate because you've been wounded very hard and it's a very traumatic moment in a person's life. But I think [00:26:00] God tries to give us wisdom and how to handle all that.

[00:26:03] Don: So that we can live the best life we possibly can and we can help other people, you know And that's where people who do not know God, 

[00:26:11] (don 2): you 

[00:26:11] Don: know And they really don't have any understanding of anything beyond this life. That is rough, you know Because that that is a tremendous loss, you know, because you figure it's all over it isn't it's just a beginning You know, it's just the beginning of Because God made us to last forever and that's what he designed us for and he's wanting us to do that and from time to time He takes one of us.

[00:26:37] Don: He takes one of us and brings us home. 

[00:26:39] Justin: Yeah, I'll tell you what This is spiritual wisdom for the lost right? Yeah, we're getting a spiritual wisdom and This is something you have to believe in. You know, you have to believe in spiritual things. Otherwise, they're, they're not going to, make any sense to you.

[00:26:59] Justin: You're not going to be [00:27:00] shown favor. You're not going to be shown truth if you don't believe in it first. If you don't believe that there is, right, that there is truth out there. And the truth in this scenario is that when my mom was in the hospice center, she was in the hospice for Less than 24 hours.

[00:27:16] Justin: She passed. Yeah, really quickly actually when she was in the hospice center There was a moment when right before she did pass we all gathered around her. It was our my family members My wife my brothers His wife and some of her friends as well as a pastor. Yeah, and , We were saying a prayer for and it was almost like the tone changed a little bit and the pastor had said I might be paraphrasing but the language was basically like you can go home now Yeah.

[00:27:52] Justin: You can go home now. Yeah. It's, it's, it's okay to go home. Right. And I, and I even started, I was even saying that to her, like I was whispering it to her and [00:28:00] saying it to her. Um, cause at the time she couldn't actually see both of her eyes. She had masses in both of her eyes. They both shut. She couldn't see us or anything, but I know she could hear me.

[00:28:08] Justin: So I was saying to her, it was okay to go home. 

[00:28:11] both: Yeah. 

[00:28:11] Justin: And it was like, as soon as the pastor said, amen, she 

[00:28:16] both (don): Yeah. 

[00:28:16] Justin: Her spirit was gone. Wow. It was at that instant. She was, she had left us. Yeah. And when you go through something like that, you, you really understand how spiritual this all is, whether you believe in it being energy or whatever, what has to go somewhere right there at that moment.

[00:28:33] Justin: I knew that it left her body. As soon as we said amen and told her to go home So that just gives me validation that she's now home Yeah, because we gave her the permission and right away after we gave her permission and that prayer was done. Yeah She was gone. She held on for so long had suffered for a long times for for several months and going through battles and stuff like that, [00:29:00] but Then it was time to come home.

[00:29:02] Justin: Yeah, and like you're saying I think we all have our time to come home We 

[00:29:06] Don: do 

[00:29:06] Justin: and eventually we're all going to come home and I think we are knowing that alone That we will be reunited Is enough to get through any kind of grieving process. That's 

[00:29:18] Don: right Yeah, and we we don't sit there and rust out we wear out so we stay busy until the call for home comes You know, and we got hope and we got hope a lot to live for.

[00:29:31] Don: And like you were saying, , a lot of this is spiritually discerned. 

[00:29:35] (don 2): I mean, 

[00:29:35] Don: the Bible says a lot and we've said a lot, but you know, until you really open up to God, he gives a certain discernment where you can hear it. He gives where Jesus talked about giving ears to hear and eyes to see. And that's, that's the important thing with all of this in this podcast is giving people an opportunity to have ears to hear and eyes to see.

[00:29:56] Don: to see and realize the process that God uses, [00:30:00] and we're just living it. You know, is it going to be perfect? Probably not. There are going to be bad things happen, probably will, you know, but to have the right understanding and to know where the source of comfort comes from and to have a hope for the future.

[00:30:13] Don: You know, I know my mother in law, I used to always tell her, and she was in a wheelchair and struggling and stuff. And I used to tell her that. God is going to give her a brand new body. You know, it's all going to be brand new on the other side. So, it really doesn't matter how tough the situation might be.

[00:30:30] Don: God has got an answer for each and every one of us. 

[00:30:33] Justin: Yeah, and having that hope and knowing that it gives you that comfort So I would just say to anybody just somebody who's going through this scenario right now And it can empathize with people. I would say that you got to give it to god Whatever the scenario is you got to give it to god.

[00:30:48] Justin: I know i've mentioned in the podcast and earlier episodes about forgiving god That might seem like an odd concept, but if that's what you have to do to get through this, do not blame God for the [00:31:00] loss of something or someone. Give it to God and he's going to get you through this. Amen. Well, I think that wraps it up for today.

[00:31:08] Justin: This was a good one, Justin. I think so too. Hey, we're glad you guys found your way here today, and we hope you can join us again next week for another good word. Until then, stay blessed by the best. See you guys.