Sleeping Pills Almost Killed Me: How to Get Out of Victim Mentality

Discovering the power within to revolutionize your life, I bare my soul in a heartfelt narrative of transformation. Once a victim to life's relentless pace, my story unveils the awakening to self-care's necessity and the perilous trap of living on autopilot. This episode is for anyone feeling paralyzed in their current state, seeking a path to empowerment and change. Together, we explore the metamorphosis from drowning in depression and sleepless nights to a life where self-love and prioritizing personal needs isn't just a luxury—it's essential.

Embarking on an intimate journey through self-discovery, I share the pivotal moments that shifted my perspective from outward validation to inner strength. We dissect the concept of 'selfishness' in its most positive light and how, when embraced appropriately, it fuels the capacity to give more to the world around us. Touching upon the influence of icons like Oprah, this episode offers more than just my story—it presents actionable insights and a catalyst for listeners to craft their own narrative of resilience and self-acceptance. No guest, no fluff, just a raw conversation that promises to challenge and, perhaps, alter the course of your life.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

I'm doing this podcast. So in case me six years ago is you today, I've got some wisdom to drop. Back then I was completely unconscious, just coasting through life without really being present. It's hard to even imagine living like that now. But now that I'm aware, I see how much we tend to focus on other people's lives instead of our own. Why do we do that? Why do we put others first when we are the ones ignoring ourselves?

Speaker 1: 0:24

Six years ago, I would wake up hating my life and I'd go to bed feeling powerless to change it. Sleep was a nightmare. I relied on strong sleeping pills just to get any rest, and even then it was like my brain had to shut down to make it happen. It would just knock me off as a survival mode. So I could live Me.

Speaker 1: 0:41

Six years ago, I was buying happiness at all costs Luxury brands, designer labels, you name it. Me six years ago, I was surrounding myself with toxic people, thinking I could change them. Boy, was I wrong about that. Me six years ago, I had this idea that buying things would bring me happiness, but all it did was drain my bank account and leave me feeling empty. Me six years ago, I wasn't even taking care of my own life, but dropping everything for everyone else. My life could wait. Their lives mattered more. So if you're feeling stuck like I was just, know that there is a way out. It starts with putting yourself first, believing in your own power and having faith that things can change. You've got this.

Speaker 1: 1:24

Everything I just mentioned about me six years ago goes to show a lot about victim mentality right. The reason I was depressed, couldn't sleep or put my life together was because I kept replaying in my head everything that everyone had done to me, and my nature didn't allow me to seek revenge or stand up for myself, leading me to feel victimized. However, that's not the only option available. I don't believe in payback, but I do believe in standing up for oneself and moving beyond the victim mentality. We are so focused on who did what to us, when we are the ones ignoring our ability to stand up and keep going watching our life pass by from the sidelines. Being a passive participant won't change the world or people in it, but learning to play the game and coming out as a winner will. Feeling victimized won't get you anywhere in this life.

Speaker 1: 2:13

So I knew that to change my life, I had to change my thoughts about myself and understand that the action of others towards me do not define who I am, what am I capable of, or my value. And this realization led me to a tremendous journey of self-growth that brought me to the person talking to you right now, someone I could never imagine I could be, someone who takes care of herself and puts her needs first, something that was unimaginable for me. But if I didn't do that, I wouldn't be sitting here doing what I love sharing the knowledge with you guys. So, at the end of the day, being selfish makes you more generous. Otherwise, it's the blind leading the blind. When you take care of your own needs first, you're more likely to have the emotional and physical energy to help others right. This is the principle behind the saying you can't pour from an empty cup. By filling your own cup first, you ensure that you have plenty to share with others. To understand this, to get over the guilt whenever I put myself first, I had to understand this first, and I'm going to explain how I came to that realization.

Speaker 1: 3:15

I've always been fascinated by characters who changed their lives even when there was no evidence to suggest it was possible for them, and one of the inspirational figures for me used to be Oprah, so I would listen to her interviews, trying to understand the essence of her resilience and perspective on life. And I remember I kept hearing from Oprah like she told the universe to take the wheel. Take the wheel, universe, universe, use me. And I was like, wow, like I can't do that. What if the universe wants me to be a nun and I want to be a writer and I want to be a performer, I want to be an entrepreneur? How to do this?

Speaker 1: 3:48

As a nun, I didn't want to give up control, even though feeling like a victim meant I was handing all my control over to the people who made me feel victimized. But still, I'm in charge of my feelings. I'm responsible for what I feel, because I cannot control what other people choose to do, but I can control how I feel about it. But I didn't understand that back then. And then my life got to the point that no one could do worse than I did to my life. So you might as well transfer the power, see what comes of it. So I said universe, I know I hesitated to address you before, but I've driven my life to the point that I think someone should take my driving license away from me, please take the wheel.

Speaker 1: 4:31

And I just had a horrible fight with my ex. This guy was sitting off hurting me like he couldn't stand seeing anyone smile, literally. So I go outside, I don't want to fight anymore, I don't want to hurt, and it's so cold, but I don't mind, because I don't even want to go back to pick up my jacket. I'd rather freeze than be in his energy. And I'm sitting there on the stairs feeling so alone and I said really, universe, is it possible that I'm all alone in this? Basically, I lost face in humanity at that point. So I was asking like, was I completely alone? Or at least did I have some unseen friends? Was there God? Was there an angel protecting me? They were my only hope at this point. And I said if I'm not alone, then can you show me that I'm not? So it's winter and I'm wearing a t-shirt, so I'm freezing. I literally have goosebumps all over my arms from the cold. The moment I finished my question, warm, almost like a hot air, hugged my entire face Hands still cold, goosebumps from the chill, making the hair on my arms stand on end, but my face was warm. Universe gave me a hug Angel, god, I don't know A kiss it. Let me know I was not alone.

Speaker 1: 5:43

The evidence was undeniable, even for a skeptic like me. It felt as if a life force came back to my body. I was excited about life again. So I said universe, you know where to find me. I'm always at my laptop, so send me something that can change my life, educate me. Just after saying that, I went back to the house, made a bowl of pasta, poured a glass of red and sat down in front of my laptop and suddenly some guy popped up on my feed. I clicked and the rest is history. It was Jody Spencer's work. He's a scientist who has connected meditation with science, making it believable for skeptics like me.

Speaker 1: 6:20

It seemed as if God knew I needed to quiet the chaos in my mind first, to see the truth, face it and heal. And you know how it goes with online algorithms, like if you're all about watching tutorials, one day you won't expect a scientist to suddenly show up in your feed, right. But that's exactly what happened to me. And that's the universe, god or whatever higher power you believe in showing its hand. There is no denying there is something bigger than ourselves out there. We're not that smart to have survived on our own for 300,000 years. This fact alone is a huge reminder that there are bigger forces at work, showing us there is much more to this world than we can see. We're not alone. We never were and we never will be. Get yourself out of that headspace, ask for help and then put in the work. You're going to be okay, and this goes beyond manifesting your favorite designer bag.

Speaker 1: 7:14

I healed my insomnia through meditation after being dependent on harmful sleeping pills for 10 years. I healed parts of myself that I didn't even know were affecting my life choices. It brought me back to faith and really helped me with anxiety, and if you ever experienced anxiety, you know how it feels. You cannot focus on anything else but regulating the unexplained fear that lingers throughout your entire body. That's how anxiety felt for me. However, meditation alone won't help unless you believe in its truth, which is easier when it's supported by facts. Right. So educate yourself more, read books, listen to testimonials and practice. Start small, and you will see your life transform before your eyes. Rely on yourself and your knowledge and have faith, because if people you thought should love you didn't, it doesn't make you a victim, because God always has and always will love you. You might call me delusional, but given the choice between believing in big pharma that has been harming us for decades and God, I will always choose faith. Meditation or prayer to God never made me feel like I was dying, unlike my experience with sleeping pills.

Speaker 1: 8:21

I felt hesitant to tell you this story, but I'm going to say it because I really want you to understand what I mean. Sleeping pills I felt hesitant to tell you this story, but I'm gonna say it because I really want you to understand what I mean. This was back then, when I was taking sleeping pills. One morning I woke up with a splitting headache right, but life doesn't wait for a headache to pass. So, anyways, I had to pick up my niece from school, so I figured I'd take a couple of painkillers to take the edge off, and as I was driving to the school the headache started to ease up. But then this weird fog came over me. Like I started feeling super drowsy, like I could not have any second. And that's when it hit me like maybe I grabbed the wrong pills by mistake. I realized I was unintentionally ODing. Luckily I was close to the school, so I panicked and I managed to pull over just in time, my heart pounding, it felt like I was leaving my body. I wasn't afraid for some reason, but I really wanted to make sure someone took care of my niece. So I mumbled out to one of the parents what was happening and I asked her to drive us home. As we were heading back, my body started freaking out, like it was rejecting the meds. Thankfully, everything ended okay and I never took sleeping pills since that day, because realizing how easily things could have gone wrong was a wake-up call.

Speaker 1: 9:30

Feeling like you're facing death changes your perspective. It's so important to understand that there are alternatives and we're more powerful than we realize. The fact that we haven't been taught this is concerning. And we haven't been taught this because, then how can they sell us medicines that is harming us? While fixing one thing but harming another? We end up depending regardless. There is a global concern surrounding sleeping pills. Research conducted by the European Medicine Agency has highlighted the potential risk associated with those medications. In fact, studies from the United Kingdom's National Health Service have shown that long-term use of sleeping pills may lead to dependence and cognitive decline, and I haven't learned any of this from the doctors who prescribe those medications to me. I have learned this by conducting my own research, by educating myself, and there is concerning. We often blindly trust anyone wearing a white coat in a hospital setting. The truth is, those pills can have serious consequences for our health. People are grappling with the side effects of those medications and no one says anything about it.

Speaker 1: 10:37

It's time to wake up to the reality that there are other, safer alternatives available, and it goes beyond medicine. Look everyone. We need to wake each other up. There is something going on where those in power are trying to make us forget who we truly are and what we are capable of. Question everything and use your own common sense. Do your research. Never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do, especially how to think. Today's podcast is all about raising awareness, so let's wake each other up. We deserve to live empowered by our own strength, and knowledge is power. Educate yourself. Thank you for listening and I hope this insight have been helpful. Don't forget to subscribe and press the notification button if you're watching on YouTube, so you'll be notified for my next videos and for those who are listening on podcast. Thank you, and please do leave comments and let me know about your experience and share with someone you think needs to hear this. Lots of love. Insomniac Diaries. Signing off. Good night, everybody.