You're listening to the Deeper with Red podcast, a show about the BDSM lifestyle with stories, thoughts, and perspectives to inform, entertain, and challenge your thinking. Are you ready? Let's Go Deeper.
Let's talk about the purpose of this podcast. Why in the hell am I even doing this?
Well, I've been in the BDSM lifestyle for about 10 years now. You could call me a veteran, if you will. And I've seen a lot of people come and go. I've seen a lot of people try and figure out what this even is, how it works for them, a lot of questions... and those answers are not always easy to find.
You can go into one of the groups on FetLife about being new... "Newbies and Novices" I think it is, and you will see hundreds and thousands honestly of questions being thrown out there, and a lot of times they don't get answers. A lot of people trying to figure out for themselves... what in the hell this even means? What are they doing? How do they do this? People want to know. And yet, there's not always the answers out there.
True, you could get a mentor along the way. But who do you get that from? Who do you talk to? And how do you know who to trust with that?
So, I know that for me, coming in, I had a lot of questions. I did not know where to go, what to do. And I had to fuck it up along the way. I had to jump in and try and figure out exactly what to do, where to do it, and what the fuck not to do, because God knows we're going to fuck up and make mistakes.
So my hope is that this podcast becomes a resource for others who might have questions, who are looking for information, for more insight for their own journey.
I want to set the stage, though, for expectations. Let's talk about what to expect here.
First and foremost, you need to understand... I am not THE expert in BDSM.
Yes, I have a lot of experience and I've been doing this for a while and I definitely have my own thoughts and opinions and perspective on a lot of what we do... but I'm not the expert.
I'm not THE person that has all the answers.
The one thing about this lifestyle is that it's very individualized. It is something that is specific to you and to your journey. you're not going to find THE answers from any one individual person. So do understand, I am not the expert. I will give you my thoughts and my perspective on a number of different topics along the way.
But that does not mean that I'm always going to be right.
I am an opinionated asshole sometimes. And I continue to work on my own perspectives and I continue to be open to other ideas and learning and growing... but I'm not always going to be right. Even if I talk with conviction on a topic, I'm still not always going to be right it.
It also means that it won't always work for you.
I may give you ideas or thoughts, perspective on a certain topic, things that you do have questions on... but my advice, my thoughts... may not always work for you. You are your own individual. You're not me. I can tell you what works for me, what works from my perspective, my train of thought, my experience level. But they may not work for you, but that's okay because ultimately this is your journey. You have your own journey, your own challenges, the things you're going to learn and overcome along the way. I'm just hoping to be able to give you a little perspective that might help. So ultimately, you have to pick and choose what works for you.
Any advice I give, any perspective I share...
take what works for you and throw the rest away.
Now, why me? Why Red? Why should you be listening to me at all?
I do have some experience and I have been doing this for a while. I've been in this lifestyle for over 10 years now. I've been doing this as a dominant from the beginning. I've worked with multiple people over the years.
I've had more than a couple submissives along the way... one that is still with me to this day, ten years in... a few others along the way that have come and gone.
I've made plenty of my own mistakes, and I've had plenty of my successes. My experience can be helpful. I can share with you along the way the areas that I have fucked up. And hopefully they will help you not make those same mistakes.
I can share with you the areas that I have grown. The areas that I have found success. Some of my challenges and the places I have overcome.
I've also been new. You know, I started in this journey the same as you. I was brand new. I've not forgotten what that's like. So many times in this lifestyle, people tend to forget that. They forget that they too were new... that they did not know what the fuck they were doing, and they asked some of the stupidest, silliest questions as well. I'm a big believer... there are no "stupid questions"... Only the questions you don't ask. If you don't know, you should open your mouth and ask.
I too am also still learning.
I know enough now to know what I don't fucking know. I don't try to pretend to be something that I'm not.. I'm still trying new things. I'm still exploring what it means to be in this lifestyle. What it means to be a dominant. I'm still learning what it means to try different things along the way. I'm also still growing. As of this recording, I'm 50 years old... but I'm still growing.
My journey's not yet done.
So I will continue to make mistakes. I will continue to learn and evolve. And hopefully what I learn, as I pass that information on to you... as I pass that experience and that perspective... hopefully that'll help you continue to grow as well.
This is also part of my giving back.
You know, I've been in this lifestyle for a decade and along the way I've realized I've not done this alone. I've had people giving to me. I've had people help me. I've had people answer questions, mentor me. This is part of the way I give back. I've been writing for the last decade. I have continued to write and will continue to write and I've gotten some great response from my writing over the years. This is another way that I'm hopefully able to give back.
Also, I have a perspective.
Again, going back to my experience, it has taught me a lot of different things. My perspective is going to be different than yours... but that's okay. This is one of the ways that we grow, not just in this journey, but in our lives. By hearing the perspective of others, seeing things through their lens.
Now it may not always apply to us directly... there are things we can pick up and we can learn from other people if we just listen for a moment. So I'm going to share my perspective... take it for what it's worth.
And quite candidly, in the end, this just felt like something fun to do.
I wanted a different way to engage with others. So why the hell not? I've been told I have a face for radio. I've also been told I have a pretty good voice too, so... You be the judge of that one.
So what do I want in return?
How can you fit into this?
What do I want in return from you?
Actually, that's quite simple.
Engage.
Comment on the different episodes. Like what's going on when it makes sense to you. If you get any value from this, you know, write a review. Subscribe to the channel. Share it with other people. Let other people know that this is going on. Maybe it also helps them.
I want your feedback.
You know, tell me what helps you. Tell me what really works for you. If I'm hitting something that is really resonating for you, let me know. I want that feedback. And if there are areas that I can improve, if there are areas that I can help make things better so that it helps you better, let me know.
If you have questions, please ask.
I want to hear what you want to know about. I want to know what your questions are. What can I do to help you? What questions do you have? Stories. If you have stories, share them with me.
I want to hear about your experiences.
I want to hear what you've gone through, the challenges you've dealt with, things you've overcome, whether they be a good or bad story, I still want to hear them. Maybe your story can help generate a new podcast that can help others. And if you're okay with it, maybe your story can even be featured on the podcast.
I'm also open to guests.
If you want to be a guest on the podcast, if you have show ideas or you want to be part of an interview, I would love to hear from you. I certainly have some ideas on what I want to do with that as we go into the future. So I'm definitely open to guest and ideas from that.
And anything else...
Any other way that you feel like you can help give back to this show would be certainly appreciated.
So I'm going to wrap this up with a very quick thank you. I want to thank you for taking time to listen. I want to thank you for the encouragement I have been given. Thank you for investing with me... and hopefully the investment in each other will pay off for both of us.
If you want to know more about the podcast, a little bit more about me, you can find more information at the website, deeperwithred.com. Or you can hit us up on the @DeeperWithRed FetLife profile as well.
Thanks again for joining in, spending a little time with me. Have a great day.
Thanks for tuning in to the Deeper podcast. I hope that you not only enjoyed the episode, but maybe something new jumped out at you. Hopefully something that changed your perspective and maybe has you thinking a bit more. I'd love to hear from you. If you have comments, show ideas, or questions, please check out the show website at deeperwithred.com. Click on the feedback tab and send a message there. You'll also find other episodes, related materials, and even ways to show your fan support right there on the website. So we'll see you there. Until next time, whenever or wherever you can, Go Deeper!
