From Chaos to Resilience. My Testimony part 1

Todays episode was about part 1 of my testimony. A story I have wanted to share for a long time. From beginnings as a miracle baby to a childhood shadowed by addiction, bad relationships and divorce, I peel back the layers of my past, offering you a glimpse into it. The rough roads that led to personal revelations and growth. The road that has lead me to God and his goodness. He has never failed me and he never will.
As the episode unfolds, it transforms into a heartfelt reminder that you are not walking your path alone God is there. The dark doesn't last forever you just have to keep pushing through. God is on the other side but you just have to give it to him and trust him. I extend an invitation to pass along this podcast to others in search of hope or a comforting voice amidst their struggles or someone wanting to seek God and his goodness. By sharing my prayers and support, I aim to help people know they aren't alone and it gets better.  Remember, each review and follow echoes your presence in this my journey, and I hope to see you in this coming Friday where I will be sharing the other side. The side how God came through and saved me.
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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

Hi guys, welcome to Becoming that Holy Girl podcast. I'm your host, angel Faith. Thank you for being back with me here on this Wednesday Today, as you can tell from the title, I've been wanting. This has been in my heart for a while. I've been wanting to share my story, pretty much share my testimony, and today I think I'm going to do it. So let's get into it. So there's very many things that has happened in my life, but I think I just want to share the main points with you because I really hope and I really think it will help someone in the long run.

Speaker 1: 0:37

So I was born September 18, 1997. My mom had me at 24 weeks. I was born one pound eight ounces. I was literally a miracle baby. My grandpa caused me that all the time and he caused me the million dollar baby. I had to stay in the hospital for about six to nine months and, yeah, that's when my life began Growing up.

Speaker 1: 1:10

I don't remember a lot of my childhood because of trauma, my therapist says because I block it out. My parents got a divorce when I was seven years old I remember that and after that we moved into a house with my mom. What I remember is my mom would sleep all the time and would take pills. My mom was an addict for a while, most of my childhood, and she would take pills all the time and she'd be asleep and my older sister would take care of us and I remember one time when my aunt and my mimo and my papa came over and they had to pay our bills and they had to buy us groceries. Growing up with an addict mom was really hard and I've had to work through a lot of that in therapy. After that, we went into a drug house with my mom when I was about in first grade. I remember CPS coming to the school and talking to us and counselors and just a lot of other stuff. I remember us having to go to CPS and talk to them and stuff like that.

Speaker 1: 2:33

We moved in with my aunt, which is my mom's sister. We moved in with her when I was 10. And that lady, when I tell you all, she is a saint. She is a saint. She's probably listening to this and I love her so much. She is literally my hero. After moving in with her, my aunt has no kids, so she went from having zero kids to three kids and it was hard. My mom was in and out of jail. It was just really hard on me. I think I was at the age of 14 where I really didn't want to take jail calls from her anymore, so I cut the contact off for a while. I was in therapy when I was younger.

Speaker 1: 3:13

After that, when I was 15, I moved from with my aunt, I moved with my dad and got in a relationship with a guy and let's just say, I thought I was grown. That's what I tell everyone when I tell this story. I thought I was grown. I decided to move out with him at 16, 17, one of those. I moved out and I thought I'd be grown and that relationship was very, very toxic. It was very mentally, physically abusive. It was hard while I was still in high school. He ended up burning all of my stuff and I had to press charges and pretty much that was the downfall. After that, I dropped out of school and then I went back and vanished and then after that I really was down and I guess I have really bad abandonment issues. So I am the type of person that used to try to seek and find someone that would love me.

Speaker 1: 4:20

In 2016, I was 18 years old. I was working at Walmart and I met a girl. Like I said, I was searching for love and I thought it was there, and I dated this girl from 2016 to 2018 and 2018. We ended up getting married If I could really say that marriage was okay. But it wasn't what God wanted me to do and it wasn't, and that's why I ended it. I wasn't supposed to be there and I knew it. I would have this like tugging and God telling me you're not supposed to be here, this is wrong, you're not supposed to be here, this is not how I want your life to be.

Speaker 1: 5:06

So after that, in 2021, I ended up getting my divorce finalized. Then, after that, I met another guy and we started dating. We dated for a little bit and he had a daughter. So I was a stepmom for a little bit and the little girl that I was a stepmom to she had the same issues as me. Like her mom was an addict, just like mine. So I had that mentality like I have to be here for her, I need to help her, I need to fix this for her. Well, quickly I figured out that I could not help her. I didn't help her mom get better. I couldn't help or not feel the way young me felt, and that relationship, once again, was toxic. I have this very toxic pattern of that. I meet people that are very mean to me.

Speaker 1: 6:09

After that, we split up and then, when I got with this guy, he told me. He said, well, I don't believe in God and that was something that I was wanting. I was wanting to get back into church, I was wanting to get closer to God, and I said, okay, that's fine, that's fine. You not believing is fine, because that's not gonna mess me up, that's not gonna do anything to me. But let me tell y'all it did, because the devil was working through him to get to me and that what was happening. The devil was working very hard. I would tell this guy I'm praying for you and he would laugh in my face In 2021.

Speaker 1: 6:53

My meme all passed away and I think that was the downfall. I started going back to therapy and the lady asked me and I remember that she said why are you here? I said because I don't know what to do and I feel like my life is falling apart. My meme all is not here anymore and I I'm just losing it. I don't know what to do so. We talked. I have been going to her and I'm still going to her today and we talked and I told her a lot and we've worked through so many issues and I'm so thankful for her because she's seen me cry, she's seen me just tell her everything and it's Amazing. So if you do not go to therapy, I recommend it. I definitely recommend it. So she, she gave me tests and I took them and she told me I have abandonment issues.

Speaker 1: 7:44

I have severe post-traumatic stress disorder from An abusive relationship my mom abandoning me, my mom raising me in a bad environment. I have very bad PTSD from that. I have anxiety and I have very bad depression. But Today I currently take medication for that and I have helped so many girls in the past two weeks by telling them when I got closer to God. It helped me. It helped me tremendously. When I start feeling anxiety, I turn on some worship music, start singing it and go on, pray about it. That's the best thing you can do. Pray about it, give it to God and go on.

Speaker 1: 8:29

So after that, I Really wasn't looking for a relationship, but I was knew what I was looking for. I Wanted a guy that went to church. I wanted a guy that believed in God and I wanted a guy that was respectful and wouldn't be mean to me. March 2023, I met my boyfriend, brennan, and he's probably listening to this. He is the biggest supporter I have. He absolutely is. When we started dating, it was crazy because I Never knew what it was like to get treated well. It took me a while because Brennan opens the door for me, brennan takes me on dates, brennan is nice to me, brennan communicates, brennan does all this and I was not used to any of that. We will be dating for a year in March and it's been probably the best year of my life. It really has. I have been back in the church. We go to church. We try to go three days a week. We definitely go on Sundays and I absolutely love it. I love that our relationship is centered around God and I love it.

Speaker 1: 9:35

If there's anyone listening to this podcast today that has struggled with an, an addict parent, a bad relationship, bad parent, been disrespected, anything like that, please reach out to me, because I know how you feel and I know that it can feel like you're alone. If you have PTSD, anxiety, depression, if you feel lonely. I know the feeling and I would love to be there and I would love to help you. I would love to pray for you. I would love to help you and give you some guidance, because it's never dark for long. If you feel like you are in this darkness, it's not there for long. You won't be there forever. I struggle with thinking about the girl I was all these years and feeling bad for her, feeling bad for her, the stuff she went through, feeling bad for things that I put myself through. But I really do believe God was preparing me for today, right now, this moment, that I'm sitting right here talking to you and everything happens for a reason. It really does, and so I want you to know you're not alone and I'm here for you. Please reach out to me On any social medias. I have a anonymous prayer link. You can put your name or you can put anonymous. Send me a prayer, I will pray for you. I pray for people every night on that list. If I get responses. I check it a couple times a day and I get an email, so I won't miss one if you put it in.

Speaker 1: 11:14

I have learned that I'm a very kind person and I make people smile, and that's what I want to do. I always thought that my purpose was to help people, to help people that have attic parents, but it's really not. It's that and everything else. It's people that want to get closer to God. It's people that want to love God. It's people that want to know God. It's people that have attic parents. It's people that. It's anyone, anyone, anyone, it's just anyone. I want to help anyone and everyone. I want everyone to feel joy the way I do. I want everyone to feel happy like I do.

Speaker 1: 11:53

Thanks for listening to this podcast, guys. I hope this has brought some motivation to you, or if you know of someone that needs to listen to this podcast, send this over to them. Let them give a listen. Don't forget to leave me a review down below and I will see you on Friday. Bye, hey guys. Thank you for listening to Becoming that Holy Girl podcast. I appreciate you for being here. Don't forget to leave me a review down below and follow me. If you haven't, share this with your friends and don't forget I'm praying for you today.