Blood & Bonds

Step into the vibrant world of Get Out the Group Chat as Tanzania Black, Shavonia Marie, and our insightful guest Barbara Baldwin delve into the delicate balance between family gatherings and cherished friendships. In this episode, we explore the intricacies of nurturing both blood ties and chosen bonds, mindful of the love and loyalty we owe to our families while integrating dear friends into our daily lives. From transitioning between close-knit family circles to forging new connections, we share stories of navigating change with grace and authenticity. Join us as we illuminate the path to creating supportive environments where open communication thrives, guiding anyone seeking to harmoniously blend familial duties and the warmth of friendship.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

One, two, three, four. Get your friends about the group chat. Group chat group chat With your passports in the air, air, air, the devil.

Speaker 3: 0:13

he don't like it Stomp that devil, stomp that devil. Oh yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 1: 0:24

Oh my goodness, Welcome back to Get Out the Group Chat.

Speaker 3: 0:28

I am Tanzania Black. My name is Shavonna Marie.

Speaker 1: 0:32

And we're so excited because this episode is going to be off the chain. We're going to help the people today, but before we get into that, we want to introduce you to our friend yes this is the Barbara Baldwin.

Speaker 3: 0:44

Oh, look at, you said her name, right thank you she got married, so you know I had to you know switch it up what's her name, your phone um.

Speaker 2: 0:53

I still say well, I just changed hands no, me too, me too she matter of fact might still say Tanzania, rupert?

Speaker 1: 1:01

no, don't be mad she still go by that Actually technically I am Tanzania Black, but because everything requires a license, which I have yet. Not Tanzania Rupert, tanzania Rupert.

Speaker 3: 1:16

You know my license.

Speaker 1: 1:17

You know I'm in Texas and stuff. It just take a lot to really be a new person here I had to change it, but as soon as I change it.

Speaker 3: 1:25

She want to stick with the family bond of oh, that family bond of Rupert. And look, that gets us to our episode today blood and bonds, blood and bonds. What does that mean, cher? So it's like I have you swear we cousins, but we're not me and Cher cousins.

Speaker 3: 1:41

Please don't let her tell you otherwise we have a bond, but I have a blood relationship with my family right and me and and so it's like do they mix? How does it work? How does it look like? Is the bond that close that the family is like, uh-uh, we blood. Boo-boo, you need to put that chick to the side because she ain't blood do you have that?

Speaker 1: 2:10

y'all had that experience no, not really where your family is telling you to put your friends to the side no, not really.

Speaker 3: 2:17

I think um. I've heard a lot of stories now give me a story. Um, I know some people like they'll think this person is hanging around their friends too much and they don't have time for their family. Yeah, so I think it is a healthy way of doing things. I feel like, um, I don't feel like you should pick one over the other, yeah, um, yeah, yeah, my mom is so funny.

Speaker 2: 2:43

My mom just sent a text message today. It was so cute and sweet Girl. I'm going to call you later, but you know she was like I know you're busy, you know, but make some time for me and you know it's so sweet. However, barb, Barb. Barb, look into that camera, talk to her Call me while I'm at work, while I'm moving around and shaking Because after I get off work I'll be tired.

Speaker 1: 3:06

Exactly.

Speaker 2: 3:10

And so I don't even want to talk to myself, my children. So you know, it's hard to get on the phone and stay on the phone with somebody, because we talk. We don't have like long I mean short conversations, it's always long conversations. So you know it's like I have to be prepared. But like lately, you know, I just started a new job or whatever. So you know, just being at work now, from like going from not working to now working, like trying to find that balance.

Speaker 1: 3:34

They do something to your body, honestly. You got to get trained into it like get some endurance.

Speaker 2: 3:39

Yes, I've been down for three months and I'm still like I ain't whipped in the shape. Yet you know what? I'm still like I ain't whipped in the shape yet you know what I'm saying. You gonna get it, yeah, and so just trying to find that balance to be able to still talk to my family, like come home and want to be present and still happy and want to cook dinner and do all the things. But it's so hard, especially lately, so did so.

Speaker 3: 4:00

Now, since you know that and you kind of you said you've been there for three months, can you probably like be intentional of like scheduling out certain things just to make sure nobody's not feeling neglected in a sense, you know.

Speaker 2: 4:11

Yeah, but the first people. I want to make sure that you know they don't feel the neglect. The first person is God Right. So it was like I'm doing all this stuff. You gave me all this, and now I barely get all this stuff you done gave me all this, yeah, and now, child, barely let me get up and pray.

Speaker 1: 4:26

Ooh, Lord, I'm so tired. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 4:29

And you need me to do the day that I gave you. But listen. So now what I'm doing at work is, as soon as I get there, like the worship music is playing at least up until noon, like, so I have a good little playlist going and can be able to commune and talk with him as I. You know, as I get tasks that it might be a little challenging you know his spirit is in the room.

Speaker 3: 4:48

So he kind of help guide those situations, you know.

Speaker 2: 4:52

So, first him, but then the people that live in my own house. Like I can't entertain a lot of things outside right now, so I got to make sure that I'm, you know, being intentional about how I spend my time with my husband and my kids. So it has to be very strategic, it has to be planned out like even for the podcast, it was scheduled for me to come on tomorrow, right?

Speaker 2: 5:12

yeah but we were all going to be over here on the side of town at the same time so I was like, can we switch it? Because tomorrow I want to dedicate right doing absolutely nothing. Yeah, with my family.

Speaker 3: 5:24

And because you got a dope bond you was able to switch it up. That's why you got to have blood and bonds, I feel like, because it just helps keep everything together in order.

Speaker 1: 5:36

So do y'all have experience with the blood and the bonds your family and your friends like mixing. Has that gone well or has that gone bad, or is it kind of like in the middle?

Speaker 3: 5:46

I mean y'all seen my blood and balls mixed when we went to new york.

Speaker 1: 5:50

You remember my family I'm gonna say, I'm just gonna go ahead and shout out the lewis's right now, if you need somebody to book the trip, if you need somebody to drive you around, if you need somebody to be there for you and show you the way the lewis's is going to do it every single time, every single time, man he was driving us from New Jersey. Yes, back to Times Square daily.

Speaker 3: 6:10

Harlem, harlem. I bet they came all the way to New York. For Nike they were from Rochester to New York.

Speaker 1: 6:15

I mean Rochester to New York City. Yeah, and he was the Uber driver. He was our Uber driver Going through them.

Speaker 3: 6:22

$25 tolls from New Jersey to New York. Yes, so yeah, my blood. And then we remember we played the game Nikaia.

Speaker 1: 6:30

Oh, we never even posted that, so they had a different hotel room than us and her mom had like a whole, like decorated whole shindig and surprised her with a birthday. But mind you, we went to New York in December. Nikaia's birthday is in July, but she knew it was.

Speaker 2: 6:44

Nikea's birthday.

Speaker 1: 6:44

And she had. Like the trip was for Nikea's birthday.

Speaker 3: 6:46

So it was just so sweet yeah. So shout out to Mom Duke. So yeah, my blood. They always ask about my friends and shoot.

Speaker 3: 6:53

I think one of my friends was in the hospital and Now she do like this. I just cause I didn't know she wanted to be out, so that's why I don't want to say her name, so you might have to click that again. But so one of my friends was in the hospital and my dad and mom like literally prayed for her, Like got on the phone and pray for like speakerphone and all, and I'm just like so yeah, I feel like yeah they mix.

Speaker 1: 7:21

Most of my friends' parents love me Like lovable. But, there are a couple who I notice ain't that much interested in me. But I don't think it's because of me. I think sometimes when a person doesn't have that balance with their family or they're not communicating well with like life situations, so maybe I move to a different city and I think it's interesting, especially like when you're Christian and the Lord tell you to move, because, like the Lord tell you to move.

Speaker 3: 7:51

But your family sees it as you just move with them.

Speaker 2: 7:53

people Like that can make things difficult Like so, yeah, most people love me, most of the parents love me and my mama love all my friends, know all the names. Oh, absolutely Like she love the people.

Speaker 1: 8:06

That's really interesting Because she don't comment on mine, but sent me a screenshot when I misspelled something and never liked the post, didn't comment and I'm just like where's my camera?

Speaker 3: 8:18

How do you like a birthday post?

Speaker 1: 8:21

I better get a birthday post. That's all I know From your mama.

Speaker 3: 8:24

Yeah, she don't even give me no birthday posts no more.

Speaker 1: 8:28

Let me text her. How did you get the comment? This woman sent me a screenshot of me misspelling something, so you see it, and never even left the post.

Speaker 2: 8:40

Like my mama. She was like naming everybody Right. So where is this person at when they be, where old Ted at, not where old Ted at. Ted, don't love me no more.

Speaker 3: 8:55

We need to call Ms Barber. Call her right now when she at how you doing?

Speaker 2: 9:01

We ain't coming back to Houston, right?

Speaker 3: 9:05

I was a little mad. I think I told you. I walked up to church and I was like so you ain't tell me your mama and sister was in town.

Speaker 2: 9:12

I was so mad didn't even get to see your mama my mama came to church and everything, and I was going back and forth too, so that's why I missed her.

Speaker 3: 9:20

But I was going back and forth too, so that's why I missed her. But I was like I miss your mama.

Speaker 1: 9:23

Yes, you do, yeah. So do you think family and friends should mix, like that should be the norm or like should?

Speaker 3: 9:29

it be separate. If you're doing real community, it got to mix. There's no way of doing real community. It's going to naturally mix.

Speaker 2: 9:36

Yeah, yeah, listen. I can remember my sister being in college and I think she was at ICC or Mississippi State. One of them shout out to her but one of her friends. She would like we all would bring our friends home, like all of my sister's friends from high school and stuff. I know them both like they're my siblings.

Speaker 1: 9:54

You know what?

Speaker 2: 9:54

I'm saying, like my brother's friends, like we know each other because I, of course, they're much older than me, I'm the baby, but know each other because I, of course, they're much older than me yeah, the baby, but I was the little sister of all these these people, these teenagers or these young adults. And so my sister brought home, which wasn't, you know, abnormal. Yeah, she brought home someone from college. She was pregnant, right, but that girl stayed there for the longest, like my mama fed her, like she never did go home and as a kid, I'm like where is this girl?

Speaker 2: 10:27

Mama ain't like she here, my mama being her mama, right, right, that's how I felt, but to see that, like my mama fed her, she washed her clothes. You know it's like she busted her and talked to her just like she was my sister.

Speaker 3: 10:39

Yep bust at her and talk to her just like she's my sister. You know what?

Speaker 2: 10:41

I'm saying it didn't matter. She had the baby and all of that.

Speaker 1: 10:46

The girl lived with us for a while, which says that sometimes blood is not always the people that you have actual blood with. I don't think God calls us just to the family that he's given to us. He's called us to who's supposed to be in our circle, and sometimes as circle, and sometimes as friends, sometimes as mentors, sometimes as you mentor somebody else, and now they're children, you, auntie, and you ain't got no blood. You know relations, so have y'all ever experienced like you just really epically failed at like having a good balance of the two?

Speaker 3: 11:18

I'm trying to think.

Speaker 2: 11:21

I will say my balance failed a little bit with church, you know. So I mean because your church, which is a bond, it is, a bond and you meet people. So I met all of y'all at church, Right? So naturally people could be looking like golly you sure spending a lot of time with them church folks Like you don't want to come home no more.

Speaker 3: 11:43

You know a lot of time with them church folks, you don't want to come home, no more.

Speaker 2: 11:44

Especially because the church I was raised in we were pretty much family. All of us were related to each other in some way. And so now I uproot myself and I join another ministry and now I don't see y'all no more, but y'all see me in pictures and stuff with other people and the church you know, another church family. It was difficult to navigate. I'm talking about for years. We're talking about like from me being like 18, 19 years old up until I mean you know what I'm saying, Like so it's hard. Um cause.

Speaker 1: 12:25

You build these relationships and we're doing ministry together our lives are now interwoven together because our purposes are aligned. You just naturally spend more time with the people that you. I'm seeing you every Wednesday, every Sunday we're in the ministry, so I'm talking to you more and so I honestly think sometimes it's hard for like family to understand, especially when you like move away, like that changes the game.

Speaker 3: 12:49

That's true.

Speaker 1: 12:50

Like it's just like oh, you always with them, like when you coming home, and I'm like.

Speaker 1: 12:54

Well, when you coming to see me, let's flip the script, so I make sure I make sure what. Split the script, so I make sure I make sure I'm what. I make sure that I make my trips, you know, back home to see, to see family. But I have reached a place of life. I'm not gonna feel guilty about posting. I'm neighing one of these, neighing a friend, because if anybody want to come see me, you can come see me. I ain't never told nobody no, so I do my due diligence and I go home. I make the calls. I need to do better One. I need to call you right now. How are you? You show me.

Speaker 1: 13:26

But I think it's important that you make sure that you're doing your best to be that balance, to connect with your family, yeah, but I just think sometimes we build things. We build a greater relationship sometimes with the friends that we make outside of our family, and that doesn't mean that our family isn't important anymore.

Speaker 1: 13:47

But there are things that my friends, that my community knows, that my family has never known to happen to me, and not because I don't think you could take it, or I don't because something is wrong with you, but like they in proximity with me, that's all there's no way like the amount of things that have happened in the last 60 days.

Speaker 1: 14:04

Like the people yeah, my family could take it, but like I've created a community of people who are also built to take it as well, who loves me just as much as my family does, which is important, because if I didn't have community, I would just be in Houston by myself and I know y'all don't want me, y'all don't want me to be lonely like.

Speaker 1: 14:24

I love the fact that I grew up watching my mom have friends go to the club, go to parties. Even to this day she had somebody's 70s party like. I loved watching her have friends, because it taught me how to have friends she has cousins that she loves.

Speaker 1: 14:38

They got a group chat, they got cruises, but she also has she has friends that to me at this point they my aunties. Like I grew up with both, and so I want to have both, and you can only have both by being intentional about building both of them.

Speaker 3: 14:50

That's true and that's what, like, I think I saw my mom like being young, having her friends and, like I said, calling my aunties and stuff like that. But I think sometimes I think I don't know if, as they got older, my parents have gotten older that it's like I don't see them too much with too many friends.

Speaker 1: 15:09

So I'm like is that going to be? I don't know. You think it's like similar to why you know, you kind of do what you do with friends.

Speaker 2: 15:16

You know you put up the guards most because it's a lot of work because, I mean, the truth is the older you get, you get more responsibilities.

Speaker 1: 15:21

It is hard yeah yeah to to cultivate that, but then if you got less and less friends and it's really just you or your spouse, right true, and that's not good either.

Speaker 3: 15:29

You know, because you need you know those different outlets.

Speaker 2: 15:31

So well, you know what? What my mom has done is like she has joined this organization called power to tell us, so it's like a women empowerment group or something like that. So they go on trips.

Speaker 1: 15:47

Oh, this is when she went to Hawaii and had the time of her life, and these were the people.

Speaker 2: 15:51

Okay, she'd been to the DR. Oh, she'd have been on two cruises maybe. Okay, my movie she had, I'm talking about in the last, just what, what? 10 years? Um, she goes all over the us, right, but she never would have gone if she wasn't, like you know, became a part of this organization, and so I I mean it wasn't for me, because there's some young girls in there too it wasn't for me, but I enjoy, from a distance, being able to see them having the time of their lives, you know, still living honey.

Speaker 2: 16:24

Right, Getting dressed up because they have like award ceremonies. They all wear ball gowns and this themed stuff they do like I mean it's really, really top, and I'm talking about top tier vacations and experiences. They've seen Tabitha Brown, or what?

Speaker 3: 16:42

Yana Brown, or what Y'all about her.

Speaker 2: 16:43

Uh-huh, uh-huh A couple times. You know what I'm saying. They see a lot of celebrities and stuff when they go out, so it's been great for her. Yeah, and I want that too. Right Right now I'm struggling a little bit because I got all these children.

Speaker 3: 16:55

Don't do my babies like that, but you give me the type that just like.

Speaker 1: 16:57

March. You really just need to be planning for July, june or July. Like, okay, y'all what we doing in June or July, and let me schedule that now, like you give me, let's get. I need to plan every three months kind of out.

Speaker 2: 17:09

No, I'm serious because I've already have something to do in May and in June and July, because I've already those are the times like I'm already planning out, yeah, and it has to be planned out. My friend, she was like Haley, she moved here, so we've been trying to connect more because she's new. You know, it's been hard because now her kids. They play like sports, but then I'm, all you know, consumed with work and my own family. So it's like so what you doing in April?

Speaker 3: 17:40

You got any weekends in April.

Speaker 2: 17:42

But you can't spring nothing on her and she can't spring nothing on me like let's do something this weekend. It don't work that way with us anymore.

Speaker 1: 17:49

I hate it, but you know, that's just how it is. I've been trying to convince one of my friends to send me a calendar invite to hey guys, she's like I don't want to do that because, it seems. I'm assuming because it seems so formal. But it's just like some people need. I love that send me a cal. I feel like loved.

Speaker 3: 18:07

Send me a calgary invite.

Speaker 1: 18:08

Send me or a text message to say this day, at this time, I will show up and I'm a pop-up person, just just pop. I mean that care what's your name this week. Pop up on me, pop up on me.

Speaker 2: 18:20

Sure I love the idea of um a reminder. Yeah, I hate like I'm. You know, I'm gonna start doing that more um here in the next couple months. Hey, text in the uh black friends forever group. Hey, what are y'all doing today?

Speaker 3: 18:33

you did that the other day, didn't you? Yeah, trying to be more intentional, right? I was like, okay, she's trying, let's let her. What are y'all doing this week? No, no, it was too funny.

Speaker 1: 18:44

No, let me show you the reminder I have that I have absolutely failed. Oh, where is it at?

Speaker 3: 18:51

Oh, where is it at? I was like I do think I do need to be a little bit not called Barbara the kid.

Speaker 1: 18:59

Barbara asked us to speak consistently and call them kids. And I put a reminder in my phone and it fell every Thursday I chose the wrong day.

Speaker 3: 19:06

Yeah, that's what it is.

Speaker 2: 19:08

I ain't gonna call me those.

Speaker 3: 19:09

Sometimes she'll FaceTime me and then Luca get on so I can get my little time. Oh yeah, you do, I get my little time.

Speaker 1: 19:16

I suck Now.

Speaker 3: 19:16

Joy and.

Speaker 1: 19:17

Kaden might have to figure out another little way with them. So then, what tips would you give to people who are struggling? Like maybe their family is upset right that they're spending so much of their time with their friends. What advice would you give to them? I?

Speaker 3: 19:33

would say just, you're going to have to balance, you're going to have to be.

Speaker 1: 19:36

Like they're doing their best to balance. Let's say that Because there's people who are really trying and your family is just upset. Oh no, Then you're just going to have to let that family be okay with what's going on.

Speaker 3: 19:46

Oh, he said, let that family go. Oh, no, no, no, you ain't got to get out that, don't get out that family group chat now. But no, you're just going to have to let it, because it's not going to happen overnight, because they've been with you, however old If you, for so long that it's like you know it's hard for them to let you go in a sense, which do you think is better, blood or bond?

Speaker 3: 20:05

Now you know me, I'm blood all day, so I'm more ride or die blood, but I care about my bond too, so that's why I would never I will always make sure both of them are pretty good, you know what I mean Like that I'm not neglecting one over the other in a sense. So, um, and I think both both of my groups blood or blonde bond, um, actually respect each other in a sense.

Speaker 2: 20:31

So I know, like just just watching it, they really do. Yeah, your family, you know that's a great example.

Speaker 3: 20:40

They do it well they invited this adopted child to hear me on all the truth so yeah, I think I would always probably go blood, but I love my bond too, I'd go neither to me.

Speaker 1: 20:56

They're equal to me. They're equal because by bond. You're saying family, family is large. I have 5 000 family members. So for me to say, no, blood is family you said blood right, so blood is family. So to say that my, my fifth cousin has priority, oh no, over a bestie for the resty so to me I think you're just thinking your full family members.

Speaker 3: 21:22

But ultimately blood is family and bonds is all your friends so to me?

Speaker 1: 21:29

it would be like neither one it's. Who has God called to me? Called to me right now? Who am I called to right now?

Speaker 3: 21:36

And that's the love that I'm going to give, because you know the little six will always come for everybody. Anything else Then, yeah, they can have it. But yeah, I just need to work on both Bob and Nell. I need to work on the bond in the blood.

Speaker 2: 21:50

If you're doing something just like this.

Speaker 3: 21:52

that's not so good. I need help. Help I'm taking the insurance. Y'all. In season three we're going to see what Bob and Nell does with her blood and bond it takes little steps at a time.

Speaker 2: 22:03

We're going to get her right, because I want to go home to Mississippi and when I go home I feel guilty because you know people are pulling me left and right. I'm like y'all, I'm just going to say, hey, I'm here in my mama's house, come see me.

Speaker 3: 22:15

Come see me.

Speaker 2: 22:17

Please come see me, because that ribbon and running because now you got to stay two hours over here.

Speaker 1: 22:22

Then you got to go to the country.

Speaker 2: 22:23

then you got to come back. It can be a lot, but I want to go home more now in 2024. So hopefully in the fall, we get to travel a little bit more back to Mississippi. But I just need help with bouncing it off.

Speaker 3: 22:40

We're going to help Barbara, we're going to put something together and y'all going to see.

Speaker 2: 22:45

It can be testimony.

Speaker 3: 22:46

It could be hard, but I think you know it's worth it.

Speaker 1: 22:49

You know because the end times are coming. We need somebody.

Speaker 2: 22:53

We all need somebody. You need a group of people.

Speaker 1: 22:56

Maybe they over there planting the greens, she planting the fruit and I'm over here taking care of the cows.

Speaker 2: 23:02

I just mentioned that we were trying to build a compound in the country where we're starting to grow our own fruits and vegetables because, at the end of the day, I want to be surrounded by people that I know, love Jesus that I know, that I hear scamming and scheming, that we can stick together. I don't want to be, you know being surrounded by people that's a little wishy-washy and fickle in all their ways.

Speaker 1: 23:29

I want to be surrounded by people that love me my children and love Jesus, because that's important, that's going to be important. Yeah, that's the most important thing and the way they say. You know we about to enter into a little shaking in these next couple of months. You heard the people talking about the little shaking.

Speaker 2: 23:48

Don't talk about it, girl, I ain't ready.

Speaker 3: 23:50

Well, y'all better, have y'all blood and bonds very tight, have both, both very tight, because your blood might not live here.

Speaker 2: 23:57

You need some bonds, so don't neglect either.

Speaker 1: 24:00

Cultivate both, be intentional about both to the best of your ability. Don't accept the guilt from people who ain't providing any energy to you, whether it be blood or bonds. Right, you know, um, because times are coming. You know I don't want to sound like you know jesus coming back tomorrow, but jesus coming back, all right. So we said all that to say get you some blood, you know, stay connected to the blood your family but you also need you some bonds, you need you some friends to make it through, just in life in general.

Speaker 3: 24:30

Yes, you definitely do all right, so we're gonna get into our game. Does my bestie know me? So, barbara nell, we're gonna have you call somebody and we're gonna see if they're to answer the three questions, right, yes, so get them on the phone, girl. So you know, my little bestie, let's see your little bestie.

Speaker 2: 24:50

Who's your bestie? My little bestie. Who's your little bestie? He's been my bestie for 19 years, 20 years.

Speaker 3: 24:56

Oh my gosh, I'm excited to see him. Are you going to FaceTime him? Aw, little Peyton Peyton, he is a little remote.

Speaker 2: 25:03

Oh, that is a home in.

Speaker 3: 25:04

Dang.

Speaker 2: 25:05

Peyton. You for the FaceTime. I am, oh my gosh, you get to see Peyton. Oh, he's going to be so excited to see you too.

Speaker 3: 25:09

All right, so we're going to get into our game. Does my bestie know me? So, barbara, nell, we're going to have you call somebody and we're going to see if they the three questions, right, yes, all right. So we got Peyton on the line, her Barbara's little bestie. So, peyton, you got to at least get two of these questions, right, okay? So Barbara can win, all right. So first question is what is Barbara's favorite color? Pink, Pink. What is your favorite color, barb?

Speaker 2: 25:46

It's purple.

Speaker 3: 25:46

He saw the pink that she had on today. I know my ak and all, but I love pink I love it, but purple is my favorite color.

Speaker 2: 25:57

Look at my toe all right.

Speaker 3: 26:01

So what is Barbara's favorite food?

Speaker 2: 26:06

mmm, okay is it the spinach? Soup, not you doing the dish she make okay, what is something I make for the family function every year?

Speaker 3: 26:17

everybody say the day music, the mac and cheese. Alright, I'm going to let you have that one.

Speaker 2: 26:23

Peyton, I'm going to let you have that one.

Speaker 3: 26:24

I'm going to let you have that one, peyton. I'm going to let you have that one. I'm going to let you have that one. All right, peyton. Last question what do Barbara prefer doing? Being a chef or a worship leader? Oh, oh, my gosh, that's a hard one.

Speaker 1: 26:46

I'm going to say being a chef, because she loves to eat and food.

Speaker 3: 26:52

Ding, ding, ding. Good job. So you got two of them right. You got two of them right, Alright thank you, payton, for playing who Knows their Bestie?

Speaker 1: 27:04

Alright y'all. So now we're about to get into our friendship stories, where we share with you somebody else's experience and you guys have to share whether they should get out of that group chat or they should stay in the group chat. We want you to see your answers in the comment section, okay. Okay, he was one of my best friends for almost 20 years. After I got divorced, after finding out that my wife was cheating on me for years, he called her constantly to make sure that she was okay.

Speaker 3: 27:32

He never called me, oh yeah, he might have been in that group chat. Oh, absolutely yeah cause at this point you trying to slip in? Were you one of them, goodness? But they've been friends for years, which means they did build you trying to slip in?

Speaker 1: 27:45

Were you one of them? Goodness yeah, but they've been friends for years.

Speaker 3: 27:48

Were they friends, which means they did build? Was he just trying to? You know, sneak a little. Sneak a little what I don't know. You know, sneak a little what? Shay Go to the house with the wifey.

Speaker 1: 28:01

I don't know. I just think it's weird when you like throw away, like not throw away, but like you have all these years with a friend and then in a moment it's like over. So I know we're thinking about the situation, but he been friends with this man for years. Why do you think he wouldn't call him?

Speaker 2: 28:17

I mean yeah, because when I got, when I got married and got divorced, I was like why are you still calling this man? I mean divorce, yeah. I was like why are you still calling this?

Speaker 1: 28:30

man, I mean sorry, but I'm just, like you know, being hurt and all this like why are you still trying to talk to this person?

Speaker 2: 28:33

yeah, like I'm mad right, right you need to be mad with me you know that type of thing, so I get listen, cut, cut that off like we're friends, what are you doing? Yeah, yeah I mean.

Speaker 1: 28:45

But if they friends that long, then he's probably also friends with the wife as well. Why would you call the wife and not me dog? Maybe it's not that he didn't call it all. Maybe he didn't call to check in, like he probably would a female because I'm sure like she may have cheated, but she could still be broken up over the the relationship suspect to me, right?

Speaker 1: 29:03

so maybe it's like you would do, like what I'm like, what a bro you said about your wife, maybe he should. But like I'm saying, like do guys do that?

Speaker 2: 29:10

I made some yeah I think some do I, I say it's a little brother tried to slip in a little bit.

Speaker 3: 29:18

He tried to slip in what he tried to slip in the dm not sleeping, he's slipping in. He called, yeah, he called her. So he tried to slip in that, which is never in the bedroom that he calling her, he trying to slip in there.

Speaker 1: 29:28

In the living room? That's my question, how you know.

Speaker 3: 29:33

The wife probably being messy. Yo Bestie called me the other day.

Speaker 2: 29:37

You know, Chris, he called me last night.

Speaker 1: 29:40

Checking up on me. Then it says this I wonder if we be in friendships with people who've been giving us red flags for years because don't nobody like you ain't just got this fantastic friendship for 20 years. You get divorced because your wife is cheating and now this person is gone. So it makes you wonder you've been recent. You've been dealing with a little legion. You've just been bypassing around he.

Speaker 3: 30:02

Maybe he's been a bad friend, but but that's what it is, I think, a lot of people just it's almost like our friends not friends topic of. It's probably not really your bestie or your friend for real, maybe it was just an associate or something.

Speaker 1: 30:15

You get what I'm saying. It goes back to that I've been an associate for 20 years.

Speaker 3: 30:18

It goes back to that, like maybe we're really not friends, buddy, you know.

Speaker 1: 30:23

Yeah, because it wouldn't make sense for your friend of that long to not be checking on you after you've been cheated on. Right, that's right, exactly so. Thank you guys for joining us. Yes, barbara and Nell, thank you for joining us. Thank you so much for having me. Let the people know where they can find you.

Speaker 2: 30:46

So you can find me on my, you can find me on Facebook and I'm trying to dibble. You know a little dabble in TikTok, okay, so just find me. Okay, I'm out here. I'm out here doing my thing.

Speaker 1: 30:53

Awesome. Well, thank you for joining us. We enjoyed you this season.

Speaker 1: 30:57

I enjoyed it All the tips, the revelations, all the stuff he was dropping. Thank you, thank, thank you, thank you, thank you, and thank y'all for joining us too for another episode. Make sure that you share this with five people. Yes, share with five. Make sure you comment, make sure you like, make sure you subscribe, make sure you go find us on your favorite audio platform. Yes, um, we want to. You know, help the people you know, get into friendship, stay in a friendship because you need community, because you come back, you're gonna need somebody to help you eat, okay, all right y'all we love y'all, we'll see y'all next time.