When life pirouettes between joy and despair, how do we catch our breath and find the courage to dance on? Our effervescent guest, Ohemaa Han—better known as Ohemaa Blondie—joins us to share her symphony of truths about navigating life's relentless ballet. With the same verve she brought to reinventing her look post-motherhood, Ohemaa waltses us through her bold transformation, cheered on by her supportive husband. Her journey, punctuated by a drastic hair change, is more than surface deep; it's a tale of self-expression and the love that inspires us to twirl towards authenticity.
Have you ever wondered what it truly means to choose happiness amidst the storms? This episode isn't just about weathering life's challenges; it's a deep dive into the art of joyful resilience. I open up about the arduous path of grieving my sister—a journey through the thicket of sorrow that taught me the strength found in our most vulnerable moments. Together with Ohemaa, we reflect on life's poignant episodes, from the fear of a Adele's illness and death to the transformative power of a fresh haircut. It's a conversation that champions mindfulness as our compass through the tempest of negative thoughts, grief, and the pursuit of happiness.
Navigating the digital age's currents, Ohemaa and I discuss the ebb and flow of sharing our lives online while honoring personal boundaries. We unravel the complexities of posting about our relationships in the public eye and the necessary balance when humor and memes intersect with reality. Through her story, we highlight the indispensable role of open communication in a marriage—ensuring that even when not wearing a wedding ring, the reasons are shared with a partner. It's an episode where laughter rings out, understanding deepens, and the freedom to be unapologetically oneself is celebrated within the sacred dance of partnership. Join us for a conversation that doesn't merely spotlight the strength in emotional honesty but revels in the liberating act of being true to oneself and nurturing a supportive bond.
Watch the video episode of this on YouTube - https://linktr.ee/konnectedminds
When life pirouettes between joy and despair, how do we catch our breath and find the courage to dance on? Our effervescent guest, Ohemaa Han—better known as Ohemaa Blondie—joins us to share her symphony of truths about navigating life's relentless ballet. With the same verve she brought to reinventing her look post-motherhood, Ohemaa waltses us through her bold transformation, cheered on by her supportive husband. Her journey, punctuated by a drastic hair change, is more than surface deep; it's a tale of self-expression and the love that inspires us to twirl towards authenticity.
Have you ever wondered what it truly means to choose happiness amidst the storms? This episode isn't just about weathering life's challenges; it's a deep dive into the art of joyful resilience. I open up about the arduous path of grieving my sister—a journey through the thicket of sorrow that taught me the strength found in our most vulnerable moments. Together with Ohemaa, we reflect on life's poignant episodes, from the fear of a Adele's illness and death to the transformative power of a fresh haircut. It's a conversation that champions mindfulness as our compass through the tempest of negative thoughts, grief, and the pursuit of happiness.
Navigating the digital age's currents, Ohemaa and I discuss the ebb and flow of sharing our lives online while honoring personal boundaries. We unravel the complexities of posting about our relationships in the public eye and the necessary balance when humor and memes intersect with reality. Through her story, we highlight the indispensable role of open communication in a marriage—ensuring that even when not wearing a wedding ring, the reasons are shared with a partner. It's an episode where laughter rings out, understanding deepens, and the freedom to be unapologetically oneself is celebrated within the sacred dance of partnership. Join us for a conversation that doesn't merely spotlight the strength in emotional honesty but revels in the liberating act of being true to oneself and nurturing a supportive bond.
Watch the video episode of this on YouTube - https://linktr.ee/konnectedminds
People go through situations and they allow it to bring them down so much. But I've said to myself no, I'm not going to be that person. I try to let happiness be a choice, because, as much as I have a lot to be grateful for, I have a lot of things that I can easily wallet and just be upset about majority of the time, because life is not all happiness and rising.
Speaker 2:You know there's something about death. Right, they say that you know the circle of death only gets smaller. It doesn't get bigger, so you might remember, but the pain associated to it is a lot smaller.
Speaker 1:It's not going to be as big as it was.
Speaker 2:Well, we're back here again on another episode of Connected Minds. I love this show so much because anytime we sit and we talk, you know the guest is different and they share so much experience that I personally don't have and some of my listeners don't. And today, the conversation I'm going to have with Oyeh Mahan, as everyone knows her, is how does she balance family, work and her social life? If you are on her snap, you know what I'm talking about. You're welcome to the show, madam Blondie.
Speaker 1:Thank you very much, D I appreciate you for having me here. Thank you so much.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're welcome. It was a long wait, but it's happened.
Speaker 1:Sorry for the wait.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, it's all right, it's happened and it's always a good conversation. You know, whenever we speak and I thought, nah, we have to get this on camera. You know we need to get the audio out so people can get to understand the sort of conversations we have. You know, when we sit and talk. Now I've had a lot of guests on this show, but this is probably going to be the most difficult conversation to have, because I feel like we've had all of it.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, okay In that case.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're right, we've had all of it, and I'm not even sure whether I'm going to be able to bring it all out. Yeah, first of all, how are you?
Speaker 1:Do you know what? I'm okay, I'm good. I can't complain honestly. If I complain, that I'm ungrateful, I'm good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the last time I met you, you didn't have no space, right. The last time I met you and before that you didn't.
Speaker 1:Before that so a lot has changed, a lot has changed For the better anyway.
Speaker 2:I mean what's going on there?
Speaker 1:Do you know what I feel like nothing is going on. I've just finally found the courage to do what I really want to do. That's just what it is. I've always wanted to cut my hair. Always I've been the type because, naturally, I don't have a lot of hair anyway. So I've always thought to myself saying, no, I will definitely cut my hair one day. But it was a matter of when, right.
Speaker 1:So after I had a heavenly, I was speaking to you, my husband, and he was like you say you want to cut your hair, you're not going to do it. So one day he was like no, you're not going to cut your hair. I said I am going to cut my hair. When he said I'm not going to do it, it hurt me because I what do you mean? I'm not going to do it. I gathered them. I said I'm going to cut my hair and he goes oh, but you're going to cut your hair and leave it black. I said, yeah, I just want that. He goes dye it blonde. People don't know that this blonde hair was my husband's idea.
Speaker 1:Yeah, blonde hair. When he said it I thought maybe he was trying to troll me. I cried like you know a little bit, you're trying to be like oh. But I was like no, okay, okay. And I went on social media. I saw a lady, dark skin, like myself, blonde hair. I was like, oh, I see where you're going with this. Yeah, and I did it, made the decision, went to Nikki the Barber Shouts to Nikki and, yeah, he gave me the confidence. He was like no, he might not see you. I said, okay, great, and I did it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's great.
Speaker 2:Fantastic. I was going to ask what does your husband think about it deep down? But the fact that he's the one that approved it and even chose the color, you know, that's great. My mom was shocked.
Speaker 1:My mom was like hey, you, this girl. I said, yeah, take it up to your in-law, because it was his idea. Yeah, but no, it was just the courage. You know, sometimes we say we'll do this, we'll do that, we'll do this, and then we just say it and we don't do it. But deep down, that's what you really want to do and this is what I've always wanted to do to cut my hair point blank. But it only took me having a child and thinking, oh my God, I look different, I don't like the way I look, I'm not happy.
Speaker 2:I'm not happy, yeah, and.
Speaker 1:I thought maybe if I cut my hair I would get that little edginess and you know the gorge that I'm looking for, yeah.
Speaker 2:So if I had an injection called happiness, I think I'd probably sell one to you. So you just stay at home and then you jab yourself back, and then you get excited and you jab yourself.
Speaker 1:But you know what? I don't need a jab, right, I don't even need a drink to be happy. This is just you know. Don't go on like you don't know that this is me.
Speaker 2:Like.
Speaker 1:I am just, this is me and I'm happy. I try to be. I try to let happiness be a choice because, as much as I have a lot to be grateful for, I have a lot of things that I can easily wallet and just be upset about majority of the time, because life is not all happiness and roses. You know this. But I'm choosing what that I'm choosing that every you know. I'm choosing that I will be happy and I'm not going to dwell on the things that's going on in the family or just in life in general, because it's unhealthy to do that.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I had to go through a journey where I had to practice observing the thinker, so it's a concept in a book called the power of now.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And it's helped me a lot, where I basically, anytime a thought comes into my mind, I need to stay far back in my mind and observe what thought it is that is coming in, whether it's family, friends, relatives, whatever and that thought usually goes away. So I've had to use another way to do it, rather than, let's say, a lot of physical attachments and things like that. But everyone deals with issues differently.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You're right. You're right and I think it's important because D I know you were touching on the topic of happiness and how you would give me an injection and stuff like that, but I've, I went through a moment in my life where I was not like this. After my sister passed away, I became a completely different person, like I went from the Olima that you know to this rude. Just, I don't know. I'll use the word rude because I could tell that I was bitter. I was so bitter to the point where it was translated in the way that I am with people. So I had a moment I was just like, nah, this is not me, man, it's not. I didn't do they.
Speaker 1:Life happens, death happens. Death is cruel, but it happens, you know, and am I going to just allow this death that has happened, that is so close and near, to affect me as a person? I went through my moments where I was so down, like I say, I was a different person, I wasn't myself at all, but again, I had to make that self reflection and make that decision. That's what I keep saying is a decision. I have to tell myself nah, I can't be like this, I need to just be an inspiration to myself, help my mom, help my family, help my cousins, because we were all affected by this death massively. So I just had to decide that no, I don't want to be this person.
Speaker 1:I want to educate people on the topic of what happened to her, how she passed away, and just use that as a tool to just keep going, really and truly. That's why I'm always banging on about water. I'm always banging on about I feel like since she passed, I've become a talkative, because I feel like people go through situations and they allow it to bring them down so much. But I've said to myself, nah, I'm not gonna be that person. So when you look at me, you think I don't have problems, but I like it like that. I assume I don't have problems because I do, and I'm not gonna let you see me and see my problems. No way, that's not how God made me. You need to see me and think, hey, girl, like this girl, she does not have problems and I want to be like her. But when you talk to me one-on-one, then you know that, yes, there is a lot behind what you see.
Speaker 2:Well, I've cried a lot of times, you know, and I've had to. I needed it to come out and you know I do it in front of whoever it is that is there that needs to see, because I'm human, you know, and I'm allowed to be vulnerable like that. Now, anytime it happens, it happens because it's overwhelming. You know, there was a time my son was sick and it's probably the most I've cried. I cried so much, but look at that, you never think you cried, oh yeah yeah, I do, oh, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I've cried so many times, so many times and I had to, because at that point I felt I needed help. You know, I needed a way out, I needed something to happen. Then he's gonna be well.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, and that same day, when I took him to the hospital, I was not confident with the diagnosis they gave me Because they didn't understand what was going on Immediately. That same day I booked a flight ticket 5,000 pounds for the two of them to go to the UK. This boy, go to the UK. There's a toy on the bed. Mom says, son, that's your toy. He jumped on the bed and that's it. He's well and I'm thinking I just wasted my cry and wasted my money. So sometimes I have to you know, there's been several times.
Speaker 2:Stepdad was sick, I had to cry, so I don't let see. The fact that I'm crying does not mean the problems have gotten to me, right, I'm just letting it out, yeah yeah, just human. Yeah, yeah, I'm just letting it out Absolutely, and I have to let it out.
Speaker 1:Because majority of the time, the people that don't let it out, they reach a breaking point. It might not happen within the now, but eventually it will happen and it will translate either to your social life, your family. Along the way. You will break down, you will break. So that's just how it is. It's good to cry, but then also don't we? We need to thank God for the spirit of forgetfulness, because imagine if we didn't forget certain things and we always remembered certain things.
Speaker 2:We would be doomed. Yeah, I guess one of the thing about well, do I actually forget? Or I guess it's a conscious effort, isn't it To forget? But it's just, you know, there's something about death, right? They say that you know, the circle of death only gets smaller. It doesn't get bigger. So you might remember, but the pain associated to it is a lot smaller.
Speaker 1:It's not gonna be as big as it was you know.
Speaker 2:And with Adele? How did it happen?
Speaker 1:Okay. So Adele passed away when she was just after her 18th birthday, and I mean, up until now we haven't really gotten. We have, but I don't buy it. They diagnosed her eventually you know, on the day of her death with multiple organ failure. But prior to that there were certain decisions that she herself, as a person, I guess, wasn't making so in the sense of like drinking water, making sure she's hydrated all the time. She wasn't a sick like, she wasn't somebody that was sick. I wouldn't say that my sister was sick like somebody that was ill all the time. No, but I think she was going through a pain that she was suppressing. So whether she herself even knew what the pain was, I can't say, because she never opened up about anything, but I do know that water played a massive part. She wasn't a drinker of water, she wasn't. So On the day that she passed away, we just received a phone call from the hospital and her best friend called me actually and was like oh, hannah, I've been trying to call you. You know, adele, it's not well. And I was like, oh, okay, but then the phone cut and then my dad walked in and was like oh, wake up, because Adele's been admitted to the hospital. They said it's tonsillitis. I said tonsillitis, okay, I mean, we know that she has, she's had tonsillitis in the past, but didn't think it would be that severe for her to be admitted.
Speaker 1:Anyway, I got ready, got to the hospital and then you will never believe that I walked past my sister. I walked past her. I walked, I looked, I turned, saw that she was a patient on the bed and I walked past her. That's how much I couldn't recognize her. She had changed in the sense of, like her color had gotten much darker and just dry, she had bloated up a bit more than the usual self. So I walked past her and then I asked the doctor. I was like, oh, I'm here, the nurse. I was like, oh, I'm here to see Adele. She was like, oh, she's in that bay. And I was like, okay. And I went and I was like, oh, my God.
Speaker 1:But then, being a nurse, I couldn't react the way that I wanted to. Oh, I should have. So I took a step back and I was like, you know, oh, you're okay, you know, checked on her and stuff like that. She couldn't really talk to me, but just not to make it long-winded and anything she eventually was supposed to have dialysis. I'm telling you this because that's how fast I was told everything From somebody not having no issues with her kidney as far as I'm concerned, no issues with her liver, nothing to being told that she needs to have dialysis, like now. So I said to the doctor what do you mean dialysis? She hasn't got any kidney problems. She was no, she has.
Speaker 1:And then they turned to her friend and they were like oh, has she been drinking? I was like what kind of question is that? I was upset, I was annoyed, if anything. So the doctor was like, oh, you know, he just concluded that for a young person it must have been like binge drinking, whatever, whatever. Because this is severe, like it's a severe organ has failed, not failing, it has failed.
Speaker 1:So they decided to take her to ICU, intensive care unit to go and do the dialysis. So we all walked with her on the bed just making sure she was okay and stuff like that. And then when we got to ICU, okay, this is where the journey ends, you can't come in. I understood that. I was like, okay, fine, said bye to her. When I turned around, went back to the hospital the way that I had parked. I didn't even pay for it, so I knew I was going to get a ticket. So I was more conscious of that. I was like, okay, let me go move the car or pay, do something. So I left the hospital. Even at that time my dad hadn't even arrived yet. So I left the hospital and then I had to move the car. And if you know Newham General, when you come out of the hospital and you get to New Vic hospitals, the New Vic schools, the college that's the traffic light.
Speaker 1:I had gotten to and I received the phone call. They were like oh, we need you to come back because your sister has deteriorated. I said okay, but the voice that she used to say that I do so, anyway, turn around came back, run upstairs, opened the door and the nurse was like oh, I didn't even, I didn't even have to speak. I moved her out of the way. I moved her out of the way because she wasn't going to be the one to break the news to me. So she was going to try and ginger me with oh, do you want water? So I said no, I know how this goes, let me go and see her. I walked in and all I could see was the CPR machine. I think it's called Lucas. She's just slain their lifeless and apparently they had been doing so.
Speaker 1:I guess the time that I left there all the you know faffing around getting in a car took about 45 minutes. So they had, as soon as I left and they put her down to GA. She went into a cardiac arrest. So they didn't even start the filtration, nothing. She went into a cardiac arrest and they couldn't revive her. So what again? We said. You know, we said to the doctors what has caused this. They couldn't even tell us, so at the end they brought it down to pneumonia and multiple organ failure.
Speaker 1:Just very confusing, very confusing Me myself. I have not had peace up until now because the way that we wanted to maneuver things it would have brought a lot of, you know, even more confusion to the family. We wouldn't have been settled in our minds because it was going to go down the legal route, you know. But that's what sometimes is difficult for me to say. When someone says what happened, it's hard for me to say because I don't know what happened to Adele, because I haven't been told that this is what happened and this is why she died. It was, oh, we think it was this, we think it was that. But from my sort of like medical knowledge and what, I think, it was only when she passed away that I could see a lot of parasitoma in her room, a lot of parasitoma in her bag, a lot of parasitoma in her jacket.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:That's when I was like whoa, Okay, this girl was not. She was in pain, clearly, but when you see her she's bubbly. She was a dancer in uni doing all sorts, very active, Very active. You would never in a million years think that something was wrong and she was the type of person to not ask for help. She would rather suppress it and headache, headache. But Adele never, ever complained about anything. She was more. She was so selfless that she knows she can deal with whatever she's going through with some sort of parasitoma.
Speaker 1:But I know, thinking back at the time, that she was not a drinker, she was more of like a juicer. So if anything she would drink Coke, orange juice, apple juice. She would never drink water. But there had been instances where there was a little bit of incontinence, like the signs of incontinence happened at a wedding that we went to, and I'm only saying that this now because that situation taught me a lesson. I beat myself up so much since that event because I failed to recognise that she. That was a massive sign. Like she, we went to a friend's wedding and she was like oh my God, I need to pee, I need to pee. She went from her brain telling her I need to pee, to literally just pee, and she could not control it.
Speaker 2:She was so young to go through that she was so young and this is something that patients honestly didn't 65 go through.
Speaker 1:Exactly so in that moment in my career, I was like, why didn't I, why didn't I do anything? Listen, I was beating up myself so much. So then, since then, I said, no, I am going to be the best nurse that I can be. How dare me be a nurse and not pick up on that? So I went through a moment of, like you know, just self blaming myself almost and I was like no, we're not doing this from today, anything that I'm doing, I'm going to be the best. I need to be able to recognize the signs of anything. That's why I don't joke with my friends. I'm telling them listen, my friends will come to me. All of a sudden, I'm not feeling well, I'll be like, okay, let's sort it. It could be something, because you're not yourself, it could be. So I've become this. My senses are heightened.
Speaker 2:Advocate.
Speaker 1:I've become an advocate I guess that's the word. I've become an advocate for just wellness, well being, not taking anything when it comes to your health for granted. Don't wait till tomorrow and say, oh, I will do this, I'll do that.
Speaker 2:Oh, and I tell you what you posted an image of how we should check our balls the men. Yeah, since I saw that we checking it all the time, anytime I go into the shower I make sure I'm popping that thing.
Speaker 1:You have to. Yeah, and majority of the time I feel like we neglect the men's health we do. Unfortunately, I found myself doing that quite alone, just focusing on women, women, women. But men go through a lot and men are. I think men are very naive sometimes when it comes to the men, sometimes when it comes to health. Not to be disrespectful, but it's good that I posted what I posted, because a lot of men were like, oh my God.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:We have to do this. Why do we have to do this?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So that's why I take, that's why I don't. I post a lot of things on social media and I'm trying to separate the health side from the enjoyment side.
Speaker 2:Right, right.
Speaker 1:And I'm trying to separate the health side from the family side because I do everything and I feel like sometimes it might the advocacy might get lost in translation. Somebody might miss that because they might want to watch something else. So you know.
Speaker 2:But I'm really sorry. You know about your loss and you know Adele was valuable to all of us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she danced for you guys. Yeah, she was in our music videos and almost everyone you know.
Speaker 2:I've got a big smile on my face because there's a particular video of her that I remember. Yeah, you know such a beautiful song.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm you know, but you know, on the topic of health, especially because I'm a pharmacist to your nurse recently one of our family members. In the afternoon he was going to have a nap, the wife was cooking with the kids and then mom said look, wake up, your dad, food is ready. They went there and the guy was gone. Now, as soon as the family called me, I said nah, he had a heart attack and then the guy was like how did you know?
Speaker 2:And I said well, it's a silent killer, you know, and I suspect that he had hypertension and he didn't talk about it. When the postmortem came, that was the case. So we need to take care of ourselves. That's why, if you've seen recently I started posting BP, check your BP on my snaps. I think people need to do that. I've got one next to my bed and I checked that every now and then.
Speaker 1:It costs about 20 pounds or even less.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, but people don't check it, people don't check it yeah. So the brother of the guy is a pastor, so I told him to get. I told him that one of the things that the churches probably need to start doing, and a lot of the schools and religious organizations should do, is just get one of the nurses there yeah.
Speaker 2:And every Sunday after church, let them pass through and check their BP's. For the men, that's a good initiative. And the women? Yeah, today we have a lot of we have high divorce rates. Yeah, we have a lot of relationships that are not working out, unfortunately, and I think there isn't a lot of marriage advocacy around. Do you think that people are having the conversation that they are supposed to have and allowing time for those answers to come through before they make the decisions that I think.
Speaker 1:I think people are under quite a bit of pressure as well. Okay, they might be having a conversation and they just might not have the patience to wait for things to transpire, unfortunately, because, yes, they're not having, maybe that conversation might not even be happening because they just want to get married. They just want to get married, they just want to get married. But then we both know why she wants to get married. That's when the real marriage starts.
Speaker 2:You've got to explain that a bit, okay, because I I that thing. I don't understand. You don't you don't agree? No, and it's not like would I agree or not. I just don't understand it, because you know when you're courting. Yes.
Speaker 1:You're not necessarily going to see that your partner's true, real, authentic character until you start. I know some people live together before they get married, but let's give the instance for those majority of the people that don't live together and they're just courting, getting to know whoever, and they're having the surface conversations. Even if they're having the deep conversations, you're still. There's still certain things that you're not going to see. That will really rock your mind and think, oh my God, did I even make the right decision? That is only going to happen after the fact, after you've walked down the aisle, after you're now having to reason together, properly making life decisions that will affect the both of you, Because when you're courting, you can, you can bounce you. You're not, you're not, you're not bound.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean, I was in a pharmacy and then the manager at the pharmacy, right, there's a someone in Cornwall and then, and then I was telling her I'm going to get married and yeah, like this is it for me. Yeah, and then she goes, no, you can decide to leave whenever you want. Some people is not like that, it's not like they are in, and that's it To some people. They get married and they can get married again.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, I didn't know. That's the angle that we're looking at, which is fair there, that case. But has that agreement already been made? Because, let's be honest, me, I didn't. I didn't have that conversation outside of marriage. I only had that conversation when I got married. I said, listen, we can both bounce if anything.
Speaker 2:Right, but we did. Did you have it before? Yes, yes. So that's what I was saying, that when you made that statement. I was saying that me, it's not whether I agree or not, ours is different. Right, we had a lot of conversations, you know I talk. Yeah, so we had a lot of conversations plenty, plenty, some we haven't even had it in the marriage. Yeah, but we had it before. I mean, why do you like we were mentally married before we actually you know, when you you know so things like you know, do I want to have another wife, for example?
Speaker 2:I know we it's black and white, like it's. It's something we've already done.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know you've touched on it, but first thing, both no, yeah.
Speaker 2:However, I think some of the things that happen in marriage is just growth. Now, something, though, is that you post a lot on social media Like, sometimes I can't keep up. So sometimes it's funny in the house, because my wife will be like, oh, he marries out, she did, she did. I'm like, yeah, have you caught up yet? And then she'll probably say yes, and I say, are you sure? And you check, she will check again, and you've got 50,000 posts again.
Speaker 1:Oh, I would, yeah, okay, what do you want me to say? But you know what I just feel like I've just really I tapped into the social media world when it first, like I've had Snapchat since that I probably the day they announced Snapchat. I've had Twitter for years, so I guess I've just been a social media person and, yeah, I'm just balancing what to post. I'm trying to separate, like, the health advocacy with from, you know, away from social life, away from family, but it's difficult because you know, with me saying all this, I don't when I post something. Okay, how many people do you think watch my Snapchat?
Speaker 2:firstly, oh no, maybe about 4,500.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:Or more than that.
Speaker 1:That's what you actually think. Yeah, you're wrong. Okay, guess again.
Speaker 2:A hundred.
Speaker 1:The most. I've had people view my Snap 120. Yeah, but that's because I'm very conscious I don't have a public profile. I'm very conscious of who is seeing what I want them to see. I'm trying to say I don't have a public profile. I'm not. You know, looking down on people that have public profiles is up to them, but I just feel like Snap, you get to control who you want to see your Snaps. I don't post that much on Instagram, if you've noticed.
Speaker 2:And even Facebook and all the other people Because that one is public.
Speaker 1:My Instagram is not because of the way the rules are. Now. You know for it to go far, if you put your thing on private, your rules will not travel. So if you, but then if you make it public, everybody can literally take your content, your picture, anything. So I'm conscious in that side. I don't post much or I don't post in real time on those platforms, but on on Snap, because I know who's there, I know the eyes are watching, I know the people that I want to delete, I want the. I know the people that if I post this, I know that they genuinely want to see this. That's how I'm controlling my social media, so I'm very conscious and I know what I'm doing.
Speaker 2:I ask about the social media because Sometimes, when people see that and you're married, you post so much on Snap. Half of the time, in fact, not even half of the time, about 99.99% of the time we don't hear your husband or see him in any of the Snap. So how do you maintain that balance, because to me that's very cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, do you also know that I used to post my husband all the time. If anything, I was like doing it a bit too much. This was before Heavenly. Obviously I used to post you quite a lot. It was very much, you know, me and him happy, and you know.
Speaker 1:But I had to respect his space because he himself, he has social media, he has Snap, he has every single social media, but he will never post, he doesn't post, he does not post his face like this, I won't see it. So then there was a time I said to myself okay, well, you don't even post yourself. Clearly you're very reserved, like he's very, very reserved. So I had to really just cool down on the distribution of his face to the masses. I just had to just calm down and realize that it's my Snapchat, it's my people, my friends. I don't have to post my husband, but if you do want to see him, I can just give him the phone and he'll do a video for himself. But no, like I just had to, I post him on occasions, but every day. You know, having a video in his face. Now I just think it's not necessary.
Speaker 2:So there was a day right I think this was your engagement anniversary and I was waiting to see him, like I was just waiting to see a post, and when he came I was like yeah, it's come through.
Speaker 1:Because you know it gets to a point where you don't necessarily like. Okay, I think that day we even went out. We had a long day posting you posted late.
Speaker 2:I posted late and I remember that because your, your, your, your anniversaries are weird, because you have like one week Exactly and then you have a wedding and another week of a wedding, yeah.
Speaker 1:So I just thought oh, like, is it even necessary? Like I think I just I posted late, I didn't think I wasn't going to post, but that very day I think I thought I was working on it or something didn't allow me to post, but I posted it late. But I didn't do that, I posted it. It's not. Yeah, you did, I didn't have to. But then again, human minds, if I didn't post something, you know what you go from.
Speaker 2:Oh no, I was going to send you a picture. I was going to send you a picture that I'm in and on your wedding right on your engagement day. I've got a picture right. And I was going through with my wife the other time and I said, look, I've got a picture of Hannah and the husband and you and my wife, and I smiled even more than all of them I'll show you. So I was going to send you that picture.
Speaker 1:Send it to me, send it. But I guess social media can't really work against somebody, because majority of the time when I'm posting my memes some are like very, what's the word? I'm trying to find the right word. I guess somebody who's not married shouldn't be posting stuff like that. I guess I don't know.
Speaker 2:But it's not a guess matter. It's not a guess. Sometimes that's the impression.
Speaker 1:That's the impression. Yeah, but then again, who made that rule? Because the majority of the time when I'm posting something, you just right there. I probably would have showed him he would have Kiki Kaki and then I post it. He knows that it's just meme. We're in a meme world. People are just trying to be funny. When I post it, a lot of people screenshot. It ends there.
Speaker 1:If you want to read deep into a meme sometimes meme is just funny it doesn't necessarily mean I'm relating to it, I'm co-signing it, I'm disagreeing with it. So I guess when I post it, however, you want to relate to it, you go ahead and relate to it. That's why I've created a separate meme page which is on my memes, because I noticed that people actually enjoy memes, that we are all just so like. Everybody just wants to laugh nowadays. That's just what it is. We're just in a generation where everything is funny. You dare not post your problems because somebody is going to find a funny audio, put it on top of your problem and laugh about it. Seriously, nothing is serious on social media nowadays. So if I'm posting a meme and it's to do with, like, maybe marriage or something, and you think I'm going through that you're doing yourself. It's like.
Speaker 2:Well, it's interesting you said that because there's been people who have wondered, but that you are still.
Speaker 1:Well, that person should ask whoever is that's wondering. The wondering mind should ask, because there's never been a day that I've gone. Okay, there's been one time where I went to a wedding without my ring, but that's because I got ready at a friend's house and I left the ring behind. But immediately, my husband is my witness. I called him. I said babe, I left my ring because we have an agreement If you're going to go out without your ring, you let that other person know, or not go out without your ring. If you forget it or something of that sort, the respectful thing to do is just call and be like oh, you know what, I left my ring. That's just Because I don't want to see you without your ring. When, when, like why are you not wearing your ring? Do you know what I'm trying to say?
Speaker 2:See, that's why your hair, that's why this conversation is so beautiful, because your dynamics in your marriage is different. And you know, I think a lot of the time people think it's a prison, like you said, but you seem to have a way around it where you still want to be able to have your fun, do things you, but then you're still married.
Speaker 1:But D? You know, some people can't have fun in their marriage. You know that. You know people are actually in bondage. Talk to me about that. Not everybody can laugh with their partner, not everybody can crack jokes with their partner. People can't even Excuse me to say, people can't even let out some gas around their partner because there's this rigidness, there's this I don't know. They just can't be free. You know, and that is a prison literally.
Speaker 1:When I made that first analogy of prison, I didn't mean literally, but not being able to be comfortable around the person that you're married, that you're going to be in the same room with you, sleep with you, eat with you, do everything with, I'm guessing, for eternity. It's bondage. Why do you want to be? Because then you can be free around your friends but you can't be free around your partner that you've chosen to be with. I'm sorry, but I can't relate.
Speaker 1:The majority of the time when I'm posting all these funny memes or I'm just being myself, you just there and if anything, he's the one egging it on honestly. So I would just encourage people, just be yourself. That's why the conversation before marriage is important. Know the person that you're with. If you know that the person is rigid and they're not going to find your jokes funny or they're just going to try and tame you and put you back in a shell. I'm sorry, that's not what you want, because it's really going to eat you up in the long run. You're going to want to be free. You're going to actually want to See.
Speaker 1:Some people can't even go out with their partners. They can't hold their partners' hands, they can't boldly say, oh, this is my partner. I'm telling you the truth. You know, and people, it's the truth. But at the end of the day, as young people, we don't want what our parents had. We are trying to create a completely different institution of marriage and just make it our own and make it fun and make it enjoyable. And if you don't do that, you're going to not be.
Speaker 2:That's why the divorce rates are high, because people get so sick of each other so soon, but just want to chip this in that if you haven't subscribed, if you haven't downloaded this episode, please do subscribe and become part of the Connected Minds family, and I'm hoping you're listening to this while you're on your way to work or doing, going to do something important. This question is Motivation or discipline.
Speaker 1:Motivational discipline. Oh my gosh. Um, they go hand in hand, isn't it? They go hand in hand. Why do you talk to me? Cause you can't be motivated without being disciplined to execute whatever's motivated you to do what you wanna do. Like they have to go hand in hand, so it's hard for me to choose. Okay, great.
Speaker 2:Not gonna tell you what I think about that, but that's great. And then your favorite personal development book.
Speaker 1:I guess I've read the Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's good that I'm gonna comment about. I think reading is a. I'm a product of reading, yeah, and not not being not being fearful to teach what I've read or speak about what I've read. So I always encourage people on this show that, even if it's just 10 minutes a day, they just read something. I don't care it could be the Bible or the Prophet Kita or whatever book the Quran, just read.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know yeah.
Speaker 1:And maybe in a generation where people do more listening, isn't it More audio? Yes, yes, that same thing.
Speaker 2:Short attention span, but I think if you look behind me you can see some ancient books like some proper books. People of the past have had to do this and we go to school, we pick up a textbook and it's written by so-and-so. These are theories from Isaac Newton or Pythagoras. These are people who read and experimented and they put in a book and the school system forces us to read those things and sit and exam. But then you come home and then you're supposed to pick something you're interested in it could be a fiction or non-fiction, yeah and read, but we don't wanna do that. So if this generation doesn't wanna read, imagine the people within the generation that reads are gonna be the leaders.
Speaker 1:No, you're right.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, now the best advice you ever received.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, the best one. I've received quite a lot of advice, or whether I can choose the best one. I guess I know it might sound cliche, but do what makes you happy, wow.
Speaker 2:You know, if you had said anything else, that would not work, because you are madam happiness.
Speaker 1:Because there's power in doing what makes you happy. Once you do what makes you happy, your true self comes out. You are always motivated. Happiness is a motivation. Yeah, yeah, do what makes you happy.
Speaker 2:As long as it's not like obviously. Drugs and things like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah but yeah, as long as it's going to make you happy and motivate you and bring out the best in you, go for it. Why not?
Speaker 2:Do you think you are living your best life?
Speaker 1:I think there's more for me to live. I think, but I think now I am trying to live my best life. I don't think I'm living it, but I am trying to Trying, yeah.
Speaker 2:You are, madam soft life Because yeah, that's softness.
Speaker 1:But D you know, I feel like the soft life phrase that has been flying around, when you really be paid, it's the best thing to have soft life. I see, because why would you want life to be hard, why would you want to go through hardship? And soft life is relative. Again, everybody's definition of soft life is different. Some money will make their life the softest, like some people have. When they're happy, it's them living their best life, I guess so.
Speaker 2:I guess. So as long as people don't misconstrued that yeah, and then start thinking they don't need to work. They don't need to go through challenges because, the challenges walk up, unfortunately, yeah, and when they come, and then, oh you know, it's soft life, then it's peak.
Speaker 1:Because peak life. You know, so, yeah, no, you're absolutely right. That's why I always want to be like I live my soft life. But do you know I work hard. Oh yeah, so if you see me and you just want to see the soft life, I'm sorry. It's not all about soft life for me. You know I work and you are a nurse as well, yeah, so you have to just balance everything that's life is all about balance.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Do everything, do what makes you happy, work hard, make your money and just yeah, just you. Live your life, achieve your goals. Have a little bit of everything you know. Please go to the center.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you so much for coming.
Speaker 1:You're most welcome and thanks for having me.
Speaker 2:I'm so happy we sat to talk on camera on audio. I think you need to come here every year.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. If you open your doors for me, you'll come here. Yeah, I think you need to come here every year, so every year when you come to Ghana. I think you should come on the show. We'll make it happen. We'll make it happen for sure.
Speaker 2:So maybe the next time you come, you're not blonde anymore.
Speaker 1:You know, maybe it may be a different color. It may be a different color.
Speaker 2:You know, absolutely no. I really appreciate your time here and I wish you all the best. Thank you so much D Everything that you do. Thank you, you know, yeah.
Speaker 1:Thank you, bro. Bye, see you later.