As we peel back the layers of an extraordinary life, we invite you to meet Dr. Gloria Mayfield Banks, a success strategist who defied the odds. Gloria's story is not just one of triumph but a beacon for anyone wrestling with their own silent battles. From the resilience forged in Detroit to the esteemed halls of Howard and Harvard, join us as we traverse the rugged terrain of her life, crossing paths with dyslexia, domestic violence, and the pinnacle of entrepreneurial spirit with Mary Kay Cosmetics. It's a tale that will ignite a spark within, reminding us all that the fiercest warriors are often clad in grace and determination.
Brace yourself for a masterclass in the art of selling and the intricate waltz of maintaining passion in both love and livelihood. Gloria's wisdom cuts through the cacophony of business jargon – selling is more than a transaction; it's a cornerstone of life. We dissect the symbiotic relationship between one’s personal network and their success trajectory, and how a blend of competition and courage can catalyze a meteoric rise. Whether you’re an entrepreneur at heart or someone looking to refine your persuasive edge, Gloria’s insights are the golden keys to unlocking your potential.
As we bid adieu to Gloria, our conversation pivots to the profound influence of selecting a life partner, sprinkled with the timeless wisdom found within the pages of Dale Carnegie's classic. We ponder the impact of decisions made and the wisdom they bestow, inviting future guests to share their hindsight revelations. Though our time with Gloria concludes, the journey does not end here – our stories, lessons, and connections ripple on. We urge you to carry these insights forward and join us again as we continue to uncover the narratives that shape our lives and professions.
As we peel back the layers of an extraordinary life, we invite you to meet Dr. Gloria Mayfield Banks, a success strategist who defied the odds. Gloria's story is not just one of triumph but a beacon for anyone wrestling with their own silent battles. From the resilience forged in Detroit to the esteemed halls of Howard and Harvard, join us as we traverse the rugged terrain of her life, crossing paths with dyslexia, domestic violence, and the pinnacle of entrepreneurial spirit with Mary Kay Cosmetics. It's a tale that will ignite a spark within, reminding us all that the fiercest warriors are often clad in grace and determination.
Brace yourself for a masterclass in the art of selling and the intricate waltz of maintaining passion in both love and livelihood. Gloria's wisdom cuts through the cacophony of business jargon – selling is more than a transaction; it's a cornerstone of life. We dissect the symbiotic relationship between one’s personal network and their success trajectory, and how a blend of competition and courage can catalyze a meteoric rise. Whether you’re an entrepreneur at heart or someone looking to refine your persuasive edge, Gloria’s insights are the golden keys to unlocking your potential.
As we bid adieu to Gloria, our conversation pivots to the profound influence of selecting a life partner, sprinkled with the timeless wisdom found within the pages of Dale Carnegie's classic. We ponder the impact of decisions made and the wisdom they bestow, inviting future guests to share their hindsight revelations. Though our time with Gloria concludes, the journey does not end here – our stories, lessons, and connections ripple on. We urge you to carry these insights forward and join us again as we continue to uncover the narratives that shape our lives and professions.
The number one problem with domestic violence is silence. The strength of a man is not determined by how strong he acts. The strength of a man is determined by how strong he is. I tell people, when you're focused on what you're doing next, you don't have time for what you just went through. I tell people that you become like the people you hang around.
Speaker 2:
Right.
Speaker 1:
So if you hang around women who hang around powerful men and you're a powerful woman you'll be better supported by women who understand your venture. Iron sharpens iron. So my best makes you better, that's true, and your best makes me better If you keep redefining yourself. It takes courage to go down a lane you've never gone down before. You have to keep going Like you really don't have time to bask in the negativity.
Speaker 2:
Hey, you're welcome once again to Connected Minds Podcast. We're happy you've joined us again this week and, to those of you that have not subscribed, shared any of our content, left a comment alike or even a dislike, please do and let us know how you feel about our content. This week I'm sitting with Dr Gloria Milford Banks, and she is a success strategist, an entrepreneur, a sales specialist, and she has rose into the highest position in Merike. I am sitting here today because I want to learn from the sales skills that she's acquired over the years through her work and being one of the top three position holders for the highest sales in Merike. I think that is brilliant. Look, stay around, stick around with us and enjoy the conversation For me. I wanted to understand very quickly about your background.
Speaker 1:
Okay, yes, Okay, well, I'm from a very fabulous family. I grew up middle class and my parents were. I'm the third of four girls and they were very instrumental in our self-esteem and our education and they were very politically involved with change and the city. I grew up in a city called Detroit. It's a very, very, very big city.
Speaker 1:
And a very powerful city at the time for African Americans, so it was open up to a lot of options. I grew up at a time where I was part of integration for the high school which was a big deal there. But I was a leader at that point. I knew it because in high school I took on leadership positions, mostly in sports like cheerleading, things like that. But that's where it started. But my challenge was I grew up dyslexic. So when I was in the seventh grade they found that I had a reading disorder.
Speaker 1:
That's a whole nother topic, because both my parents were teachers and they missed it because it wasn't something that was talked about. It's not still something that's embraced. A lot of people are still embarrassed about it. But anyway, I grew up dyslexic but I worked really hard and got out of high school, went to college at Howard University in Washington DC, which is a historical black college, which is a very, very, very strong college in the US, and so I left there and I took a job with Polaroid Corporation. I moved to Boston, then I went to Harvard Business School and I got my MBA From there and then I sold computers for IBM. I went to Harvard specifically to get into the C-Suite. I wanted to be a woman executive in the corporation and I wanted to break through what they call the glass ceiling, until I found out it was really brick, it wasn't going anywhere, but I worked really hard.
Speaker 1:
Anyway, during that whole time I also became a victim of domestic violence, and it was a challenging time because I was from a strong family, had not dealt with divorce, hadn't dealt with domestic violence. He was from a strong family, so this came out of nowhere. I don't know where this came from, so I was so unfamiliar with it. I stayed in that environment for 10 years. So I tell people all the time you're looking at a very smart, intelligent, powerful, educated black woman who stayed in domestic violence for 10 years.
Speaker 1:
My very first day at Harvard Business School I started with a black eye Right. So it was the first time I put on makeup, was to cover it up, so I hid embarrassment. I will tell you this the number one problem with domestic violence is silence. No one's talking about it. So that was my journey. In spite of all that, I still succeeded. I tell people the same optimistic attitude that I have now. That helped me become successful in life was a detriment to my domestic violence situation, because I kept saying it'll get better, it'll get better, it'll get better, but it didn't. So eventually I became a single parent. I was single parent for seven years At the same time. In between all that that was going on, I started entrepreneurship. Never thought about entrepreneurship, never dreamed about being an entrepreneur, never had any family members that were entrepreneurs None of that at all. Four of us myself and my three sisters are all very successful entrepreneurs.
Speaker 2:
Wow.
Speaker 1:
So I started a business called Mary K Cosmetics, which is network marketing.
Speaker 2:
Yep.
Speaker 1:
And what's exciting about that and challenging about that was that so many people question they didn't know about network marketing. They didn't understand the power of network marketing. So if people don't understand what you do, they question it negatively and you go at it that way. So, anyway, I started that and became very successful. There Roles to the position of number one out of 3.5 million women. It's in over 40 countries. I grew my international business into eight of those countries, so that was really strong. In the meanwhile I remarried to Ken Banks, who's a very successful entrepreneur in its own right, and we blend our family. We have four children, we have five grandchildren and it's just been on and popping.
Speaker 2:
So now it's been amazing. I agree with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's been amazing. I check your Instagram and I get it later. You know, when I look at some of the videos, you know you speak with so much light. Thank you, Thank you, but one of the first questions I wanted to ask was dyslexia yes. Victim of domestic violence. Being a single mom yes. How did you beat the odds to still become a very successful salesperson in?
Speaker 1:
America. Yes, you know it's so interesting because I didn't see it that way that other people see it. My whole perception was you have to keep going Like you really don't have time to bask in the negativity. You really don't have time for someone to honor your poor emotional management skills. I didn't have time for it and so I talk a lot about emotional management because I would be driving to an appointment to sell product, crying in my car, wiping my tears. Walk into the house with total high energy, total big smile on my face, do a great presentation, get back in my car, start crying again, driving home to what I knew was going to be a big argument when I walked in the house. But I needed to go and fight for my rights, fight for my income and fight for success.
Speaker 1:
I tell people, when you're focused on what you're doing next, you don't have time for what you just went through. You don't have time for it, because when you think about what you've just gone through, it's dark, it's painful and you can't do anything about it. That's the thing. But I can always do what's in front of me, so I look to find the joy in front of me. Now. You hear a lot of wisdom now because I went through it.
Speaker 1:
But in the moment I just kept saying what are you going to do about the situation? When I was in the basement with the door locked and a baby on my hip and I was pregnant and I had a knife, thinking I was going to protect myself, my question to myself was what are you going to do? What are you going to do? Because you either stop or you go. It's really the only choices. You have to stop or go. And I had to go and it wasn't easy. It was not easy.
Speaker 1:
And when it was time to get a divorce, because I was so intimidated by my ex-husband, I walked into the lawyer and I said I'm intimidated. Truth you know how they say truth will set you free. And God was my partner and I said I'm intimidated by him, I can't talk to him, I can't handle this. I tell people the stronger people will tell you what they can't handle, not all day long about what they can do, but what can't they do so that they can enroll other people to support them. So I said what? This is what I can't do. He said I can handle that. I said, ok, if you can handle that I pay you. I can get money. I am good at getting money, but I am not good at dealing with a man who intimidates me. I can't get in for it. I found now after being successfully married to Ken for 25 years 28 years we've been married, but it's been. The strength of a man is not determined by how strong he acts. The strength of a man is determined by how strong he is.
Speaker 2:
I asked Ken that most of the time when you have a strong business entrepreneur man and they are in a relationship with another woman who is very successful too, most men feel intimidated by that. How did he navigate that? He said he never looked at it like that. How did you feel in that relationship?
Speaker 1:
Number one. It's been a journey for us because we didn't know what it was going to be like, and a lot of that was because a lot of people kept asking us what's it like? What's it like? What's it like? So when we met, when no one else was in our circle, and we dated for a year without anybody knowing what was going on, because we were a long distance relationship, both of us were very busy entrepreneurs. We didn't need other people in our business.
Speaker 1:
The thing that attracted us to each other was our ambition. I was attracted to his high level of ambition. He was attracted to my high level of ambition. You don't get an ambitious woman who is happy sitting on the sidelines. So I don't think he was looking for a woman that was sitting on the sidelines to begin with. We didn't navigate it, because when you have two ambitious people, sometimes one has to sit down in order to make the other person happy. I need you to be here with me. I need you to be here with me. So I think that when we talk about our relationship, the baseline of our relationship is based in respect. I might disagree with you. I don't want you to say no at this time, but you have to say no, but it's the way you say no and the explanation of the no that manages it. I think at the baseline he wanted me to be happy and to be happy. I have to be fulfilled in my career and I wanted him to be happy. So I think that we looked at it more like that.
Speaker 1:
I will tell you there have been challenges because two very ambitious people have crazy schedules, have crazy demands. I remember going to dinner once and I was going for a really big goal. I had two cell phones going at the same time. I mean it was just like nuts and he wanted to go to dinner. He said if you touch that phone, I'm going to break your arm. And he was kidding because he's not that way, but he was serious. Like Gloria, I need you to pay attention. So I got the message. I think when you fight for your time, you're going to be met with resistance, but if you learn to flow with what's in front of you, it's called a flow. It's like he loves me and I love him. He makes me happy, I make him happy.
Speaker 1:
So the resistance that we see a lot of couples deal with, they forget that piece of it and that forgetting that piece causes so much distrust because you lost the respect. And girlfriends ask me the girlfriends who are close to me like, how do you guys do that? But I will tell you. I have some girlfriends who have very powerful husbands and they're very powerful women and we hang together and I tell people that you become like the people you hang around. And I have a really good friend. Her name is Chris Seton. She says show me your friends, I'll show you your future Right? So if you hang around women who hang around powerful men and you're a powerful woman, you'll be better supported by women who understand your venture.
Speaker 1:
Some of us cook, some of us don't. Some of us sew, some of us don't. Some of us shop, some of us don't. Some of us like to spend money, some of us like to make money. It's just. But I think women who want to be powerful and be with a powerful man have to understand it's OK to give and take, because if you give so much of yourself without expecting someone to give up themselves, you've lost respect for yourself. So therefore, you can't expect anybody to respect you.
Speaker 2:
It happens, you know. When you first started direct sales, you said that you just wanted to make $200 a week.
Speaker 1:
Right, that's what you wanted Small, just a little money.
Speaker 2:
You were being very reserved. But what changed? What changed? Because years down the line you get to number one.
Speaker 1:
And boldly get to number one. So the reason I say that is because I always tell people I love competition and people will sometimes make it look bad or dirty, and the reason I don't think it's bad or dirty is because it's in the Bible. The way I read it is iron sharpens iron. So my best makes you better, that's true, and your best makes me better. When I started with a small dream of $200 extra week, I didn't anticipate entrepreneurship or selling skincare makeup was going to be my journey. I just want to make some extra money because of the divorce. You know that. Saying that everything happens for a reason, yes, I had no idea that my dark, tumultuous, very hard existence at that period of my life was gonna pave the way for me to understand so many other women's journeys and About relationships. So when I started, what happened for me is that I just took the next success and I took the next success and then I tell people I started my direct selling business to earn extra income. I fell in love with it because of the recognition, because they appreciated things, and I was coming from an empty place in my soul and Then I grew because of the competition when I saw someone else do it, I wanted to do it too. When I saw someone else do it, I wanted to have it too. When I saw someone else winning diamonds, I wanted to win it too. When I saw people winning trips, I wanted to win it too. So there was a challenge, and if you like challenge and you like to push yourself, that was who I was, and I believe that my confidence grew tremendously because I was challenged.
Speaker 1:
And To take on a challenge it takes courage. Sorry, tell everybody. It takes courage to build your confidence. And when your confidence comes, your choices are big. Derek. Your choices are so big now because you've had a lot of courage to do different things. You don't just stay in one path. You keep redefining yourself. If you keep redefining yourself, it takes courage to go down a lane You've never gone down before, but you know that when you go down that lane, that joy is so huge because the experience is so new. It's only people who get stuck and Doing the same thing over and over and over again that they get deterred, they get sad, the joy drops off. There's no excitement.
Speaker 2:
Yeah no, you, you have a book. Yes, and before I even come to that, quantum leaps, quantum leaps. Yes, before I even come to that, I wanted to ask you know, I think every entrepreneur needs to learn how to sell yes, every entrepreneur does, it is, it's part of the not right?
Speaker 2:
Yes, it's, it's. That's what the game is. Right Now, it doesn't matter whether it's direct sales or online marketing what about it is? Or selling themselves, selling the dream? Yeah, now what are some of the advice and the how-to for people who want to follow and learn? You know what would you say like what's your top tips?
Speaker 1:
Okay, in sales top tips and sales number one know that it's imperative, just know, just make up your mind and say Selling is imperative. It's critical to my success of anything. You guys, if you listen to speakers, if you go to church, if you go to school, teachers are selling students on the power of learning. Ministers are selling you on the power of spiritual growth. Education is nothing more than a form of sales. Sales is nothing more than a form of education. I'm gonna inform you as to why it's worth it to you to exchange your money for what I'm selling you. If it's not worth it, you shouldn't spend it. So for some reason, people will think that selling is a form of negative persuasion, and I've always thought of it as I'm persuading you to do something you've always wanted to do, but you were just too afraid to do it, and so that would be a big tip. A big tip to me in sales is that you have to know that people love to buy. They don't necessarily want to be sold to. They love to buy. So they love to spend their money. They work for their money. They work for the money to spend their money. So all they want to do is spend it where it matters to them most. Your job is to find out what matters to them right now, and if they say no, it's okay. It just doesn't matter to them right now doesn't mean that won't matter to them in six months or six years or six days, but doesn't matter to them right now. But your job is to ask. Your job is not to find out what's going on in their head. Your job is to ask them so that they can tell you what's going on in their head, and then your job is to solve their problem. Someone in sales solves a person's problem. If I'm buying, if I'm selling shoes, I'm solving your problem because you want to pair shoes, either because you need them, because you want to wear them, because it makes you feel better, because it makes you look better. I don't know the reason. It's not for me to judge. That's another thing. People that lose in sales is because they spend too much time judging themselves or judging the person. Don't judge yourself, don't judge the person. The bottom line in sales is ask.
Speaker 1:
I think I became Extraordinarily successful because I believe that a lot of people want what I want, what I have. A lot of people believe wanted what I have and a lot of people Want to be successful and I believe that women are a force. I believe they are tremendous force. It is impossible for you to convince me that you can't do something. It's easy for you to convince me that you don't want to. I Don't believe everybody wants to do the same thing, but I'm. It's very hard to believe to convince me that you can't like. I am not good with blood. My mother was a nurse. I am absolutely not good with blood like but if I have to be good with blood yeah, if I find a way, I find a way.
Speaker 2:
Do you think, though, that sometimes, on the path to success yeah, you can. You can be so go-driven that you know you go so fine and you leave certain things behind, like some of what you just described. Yes, it feels like We've worked so hard to get to a certain level right, but then we miss certain things. Yes, I know, and they're still at the bottom that you are feeling like, oh, we need to go back and pick them up with us.
Speaker 1:
Right. I think that's why family is so important, because family will wake you up when you're busy on the phone going to your next appointment, da, da, da. And then your child says mommy, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:
You wake up.
Speaker 1:
You do miss some things I can honestly tell you. We look at people and we know their lives are not perfect, and I can honestly say our life's not perfect. There were some major challenges that came along the way. But what I also tell people is the challenges that you have are dealt with differently because of finances. I am on a path that I can't explain about helping people and mostly women, because that's who I talk to mostly understand the importance of financial stability, the importance of picking themselves up and increasing their income Period.
Speaker 1:
You have to increase your income in order to have different choices. Your income is not for the material thing, but your income is going to dictate the type of food you eat. It is going to dictate the type of security you live under. It is going to dictate the type of protection that you give to your family. It is going to dictate the future of your parents and what happens to them later in life. It is going to dictate some of the joy you do or do not get to give to others and that you get to experience for yourself. And so it's not about the material things that we see on TV or that you read about in the magazine. It is about your life choices, and until we understand how important those life choices are, it will support your ability for stronger emotional management, because you understand that your bounce back ability is going to determine your ability to increase your income.
Speaker 2:
I've got three questions and you've got one question, so the three questions are from us, and then your question is for the next guest. Ok, so please think about that question Now. Our first question is motivation or discipline in the journey of personal development.
Speaker 1:
Ok, I would pick motivation, because I believe the motivation creates the discipline. I think I don't care how far away you are from, wherever it is you want to go. If you are motivated to get to the next leg, you will get up and do it. I don't think you will get there without discipline. You will not get there without discipline. But what is going to wake you up when you don't want to wake up is the motivation. What's going to make you work out when you don't want to work out is the motivation. What's going to make you study when you don't want to study is because you're motivated to get an A, or you're motivated to succeed for your parents, or you're motivated to show people that you have your work. I know that people say motivation doesn't last, so you have to reignite it all the time. But neither do showers last. You have to do them all the time. So if I had to pick, I believe motivation comes before discipline and success doesn't happen unless you have discipline.
Speaker 2:
Right, that's fantastic. Our next question is what's the best advice you've ever got? The best advice? You can't pick two, you can't pick one and a half. It's going to be one. The best yes Advice. Yes, we want to have that too.
Speaker 1:
The best if Wow, that's such a hard question the best advice I've ever received? Well, I received. What comes to me right now is the person you choose as your life partner. The person you choose as your life partner will affect your faith, will affect your family, will affect your finances, will affect your fitness, will affect your joy, will affect your outlook, will affect your spirituality, will affect your path. I didn't realize that when I was younger, but someone said the most important decision you make in life is your life partner. Well, and after being with Ken for 30 years, I know what it's like to pick a bad life partner. I don't know what it's like to pick a good life partner. So in this moment, I would say you're a life partner, yeah, and sometimes that life partner is you, and sometimes that life partner is someone else.
Speaker 2:
That's amazing. That's amazing. That put a big smile on my face. Yeah, but you picked a good partner.
Speaker 1:
Yes, that put a big smile on my face, yeah.
Speaker 2:
Whoa, Now what's your favorite personal development book?
Speaker 1:
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie how to Win Friends and Influence People. I just think people need to understand that there is a path to making other people feel good in your space. My job is to make you feel good in my space so that you want to be in my space more often and so that I like my space myself, I think.
Speaker 1:
Obviously I'm coming from a background of sales, but I don't care what your background is. Tell me a profession that doesn't include making other people better. So how do we win friends and influence others? By Dale Carnegie? I tell people that's the book I would advise them, you know. I think that without a doubt, the Bible is such a huge pathway of instructions. I mean, that goes without saying. But that would be my choice.
Speaker 2:
It's a great choice. Yeah, great choice. I definitely recommend that people should get that book and then start reading. Yeah, and if you want to be a champion in sales as well, then you should get quantum leaps. Thank, you. Yeah, definitely yeah absolutely Definitely. Now our question for the next guest. What should that question be?
Speaker 1:
I believe wisdom is a cornerstone to people' ability to thrive. So I would ask the next guest if you were to rewind 20 years, what would you do, given the wisdom you have today? Hmm, that's a very good question. I wonder where their path would have changed.
Speaker 2:
That's a very good question and you got me thinking 20 years ago.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, you know yeah, even at your young age.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, yeah, well, thank you so much. I've enjoyed this. Thank you so much, very much. I've probably enjoyed it more than you have. No, I don't think so. It's a bank of knowledge, wisdom. Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1:
This is just another incredible experience here in Ghana, and I want to share this one thought with people all over the world that don't miss out on the gifts that are here because it hasn't been advertised to you, because it hasn't been marketed to you. You have to come and see why this is such an incredible place. You have to see it, touch it and experience it for yourself.
Speaker 2:
Yes, definitely, definitely, which is why I came back to Ghana four years ago with my family. Yeah, I loved it from the day I was leaving. I missed it, yes, you know, and I said look, I'm going to go get the qualifications, do the best that I can wherever I go, yes, but I want to come back and give my talents and my skills to my people, because it's a land that made me Wow. Yeah, so thank you so much, gloria.
Speaker 1:
I appreciate it so much.
Speaker 2:
Derek, yeah, I hope our paths cross again.
Speaker 1:
Oh, they will. They will, they're meant to. This is obviously a symbol that Morris yet to come.
Speaker 2:
Congratulations to you, Thank you. Thank you Appreciate your time and guys stay connected, Share this telephone telephone. We'll see you next time. Bye.