Ever faced a mountain so steep, you thought you couldn't possibly climb it? Mindi Lyons, known fondly as "The Fenyx," joins us on Shine on Success to share how she soared above life's fiercest fires. Her journey is steeped in resilience, from a restrictive upbringing to personal tribulations that many would find insurmountable. As a teen mother who grappled with her spouse's incarceration and the complexity of creating a blended family, Mindi's candid storytelling is nothing short of awe-inspiring. She embodies the spirit of someone who refuses to let the past smother her future, offering rays of hope to those entrenched in their own struggles.
Imagine transforming your darkest moments into a treasure hunt for joy and fulfillment—that's the essence of Mindi's transformative approach to life. In our conversation, she lays bare her once-cloaked battles with mental health and the stigmas that so often silence many. From the depths of despair to the pinnacle of parenting against the odds, her vulnerable reflections underscore the importance of hope and the power of a strong support network. The metamorphosis Mindi underwent is not only a personal triumph but a beacon for anyone teetering on the brink, showing that change is possible and that love—both for oneself and for others—can be the compass guiding us toward a brighter tomorrow.
As we round out our discussion with Mindi, she imparts wisdom on how humor and positivity can fundamentally alter the atmosphere of a home or an organization. Injecting her insights on personal growth, she credits transformative figures like Joyce Meyers and Rick Warren for steering her towards a life marked by grace and compassion. The episode is peppered with practical takeaways for those seeking to cultivate self-love, embrace personal development, and make incremental strides toward a life filled with purpose. Mindi's story is an empowering testament to the fact that with the right mindset, support, and a dash of levity, overcoming adversity isn't just possible—it's within reach.
Ever faced a mountain so steep, you thought you couldn't possibly climb it? Mindi Lyons, known fondly as "The Fenyx," joins us on Shine on Success to share how she soared above life's fiercest fires. Her journey is steeped in resilience, from a restrictive upbringing to personal tribulations that many would find insurmountable. As a teen mother who grappled with her spouse's incarceration and the complexity of creating a blended family, Mindi's candid storytelling is nothing short of awe-inspiring. She embodies the spirit of someone who refuses to let the past smother her future, offering rays of hope to those entrenched in their own struggles.
Imagine transforming your darkest moments into a treasure hunt for joy and fulfillment—that's the essence of Mindi's transformative approach to life. In our conversation, she lays bare her once-cloaked battles with mental health and the stigmas that so often silence many. From the depths of despair to the pinnacle of parenting against the odds, her vulnerable reflections underscore the importance of hope and the power of a strong support network. The metamorphosis Mindi underwent is not only a personal triumph but a beacon for anyone teetering on the brink, showing that change is possible and that love—both for oneself and for others—can be the compass guiding us toward a brighter tomorrow.
As we round out our discussion with Mindi, she imparts wisdom on how humor and positivity can fundamentally alter the atmosphere of a home or an organization. Injecting her insights on personal growth, she credits transformative figures like Joyce Meyers and Rick Warren for steering her towards a life marked by grace and compassion. The episode is peppered with practical takeaways for those seeking to cultivate self-love, embrace personal development, and make incremental strides toward a life filled with purpose. Mindi's story is an empowering testament to the fact that with the right mindset, support, and a dash of levity, overcoming adversity isn't just possible—it's within reach.
Have you ever felt like the odds were completely stacked against you? How did you find the strength to push through? Let's uncover as we explore Mindy's remarkable journey. This is the Shine on Success podcast, where we light up the path to triumph even through the toughest challenges. I'm your host, Dionne Malush, and today I'm thrilled to introduce you to Mindy Lyons, also known as quote-unquote the Phoenix, a paragon of resilience and an icon of transformation. Mindy has risen above life's harshest adversities, from toxic relationships, financial hardships to battling morbid obesity and homelessness. Now she's a beacon of hope for many, for proving that what's possible when you refuse to let your past dictate your future. Hi, Mindi, I'm so excited to have you on there. Your story is so good what I've been reading about you and I am super excited. So how are you doing today?
Mindi Lyons:
I'm very excited too. I'm doing fantastic, and there was definitely a time where I wouldn't have ever dreamed that the things that you're saying right now would have ever been my reality, so it's pretty surreal to even hear that said back to me. I love it. Thank you so much for letting me be here.
Dionne Malush:
Also, imagine my excitement when I when I saw you and you said I want to be on your podcast, and I was so excited because I look and I think you're the exact type of person that we want to be on here. We want to prove to everybody that we can do it, no matter what right. We all have stuff. Everybody goes through their own things. Some are more difficult than others and some are tragic and you push through it. For me, most recently, my father passed away seven months ago and I'm still reeling in that and this is healing for me talking to everyone and realizing I'm not the only one that had a close relationship with someone and they passed, and all the things that you've been through. I think we could probably do four or five interviews and still keep talking, but let's start with my first question for you.
Dionne Malush:
Let's start by you sharing your journey with us and the key experiences that have shaped you to who you are today.
Mindi Lyons:
Wow, that's a lot. I will do my best to summarize and sort of put some of the key points together that I think are really vital to paint the picture of what I want to, you know, express with my story. And I really feel like I have to kind of start at the beginning with my upbringing, because I was very conservative, I was raised in a very conservative religious environment and I had a lot of negative emotional things like in my space I was told I was good for nothing, I would never amount to anything, I was stupid. If I was ever, if any guy was ever dumb enough to marry me, that a divorce would be guaranteed in five years. And so when you're young like that, you tend to attach things that people say as truth because you don't have the emotional intelligence or life experience to be able to filter through those things or to really understand that those things have nothing to do with you, that it really is things being projected onto you from other people's viewpoints and kind of where they're at in life. So I had a very low self-esteem and yet I also was very determined I had a very determined personality that I was not going to be average, that I was not here to be mediocre, and so whenever somebody said something degrading to me, I just had this ferocity inside myself that I will prove you wrong. I am going to prove that I am worthy, that I am somebody. And so that started kind of a long lifetime of trying to prove myself, especially to the you know, the people who were closest to me in my life that I I valued their opinions very strongly, and it wasn't until much later that I realized that who I would need to be in order to meet certain people's approval. I didn't even want to be that person, and so I was eventually able to let go of all of that. But I'm bringing that up because the the self-esteem aspect and being someone who is very naive and had a lot of the religious oppression, the views of a lot of shame, a lot of guilt dynamics, a lot of self-criticism and criticism of other people that played a big part into my story overall, because I could not wait to get out of my house At the stroke of hitting 18, I left.
Mindi Lyons:
I got pregnant very soon after that, which was a huge no-no. There was a lot of shame attached to that, and I got married the day after I found out that I was pregnant at 18 years old. I had my daughter when I was 19. And two years later I ended up a single parent overnight for the first time, when I was 21 years old and my husband at the time became incarcerated. And that was my first experience, I would say, as an adult, of the rug proverbial being taken out from under me and having to completely redefine my life. You know what is happening. I never expected that I would be in this position. This is not how I ever dreamed that my life would go. Know what is happening. I never expected that I would be in this position. This is not how I ever dreamed that my life would go.
Mindi Lyons:
And so I had to move back in with my parents so somebody could take care of my daughter while I went back to the workforce. And two and a half years later I had remet someone that I knew from my past and got married for the second time. I figured I had learned a few things, but around the block, you know, and already been through one divorce, even though it was when most people are kind of partying and, you know, just kind of figuring life out in their collection. And now I found myself to be married for the second time with my daughter, who was then four. He had a son that he brought into the relationship and then we ultimately ended up adding two children to our family. And I'm kind of giving you the spoiler alert, you know, because I'm kind of skipping through a whole lot of things that happened, but I'm just painting that picture of sort of the overall broad view of my story. That relationship ended up being exponentially worse than my first time. That relationship ended up being exponentially worse than my first time. Very slow feed, you know.
Mindi Lyons:
There's a lot of people who end up in toxic relationships, abusive relationships, where people on the outside would say things like you know, I would never be in a relationship like that, that would never happen to me, I would never allow someone to treat me that way, or whatever the case is. And I bring this up for two reasons because, for women who have been in relationships like this, you can be an incredibly smart person, you can be very highly educated, you can be all the things and still somehow end up in these types of situations. So I just want to say that to the women who have ended up in situations like this give yourself so much grace, so much compassion, so much forgiveness, because there's a lot of things that can. It's very complex. There's a lot of things that can take place that you would have never. It wasn't the way that it was when you first, you know, got into the relationship and, like I said, it can be a very slow fade.
Mindi Lyons:
Some people do not know how to recognize the red flags and you know, those are all things that are very clear to me in hindsight. But with who I was at the time, the support I had at the time, the resources I had at the time, the personality, all of those things, in retrospect I understand why I made the decisions that I made at that time, with who I was. But we can oftentimes hold ourselves accountable, our past self accountable, for what we know now. And it's just not fair to do that because you're more advanced, you know more than you did back then. And the other reason why I bring that up is because, for the people who look onto these situations and say that could never be me, I would never do that, never put up with that.
Mindi Lyons:
If there's one thing that I've learned in all of the experiences, I feel like I'm a cat.
Mindi Lyons:
I've had nine lives. I've experienced so many things. I can't even believe that I have, in this, in my 44 years up to this date, been through so many different experiences and challenges. But one thing that has rung very true to me that I've learned is that you cannot judge someone in their circumstance. I've done it. I've been the person to say that I would never do that, or I would never this or that, or I would always whatever. And then I would find myself in the situation that I had judged someone else about and found that I was reacting in a completely different way. I did different things than I expected that I would. So unless you can be in someone else's exact same circumstance which is impossible because there's so many different facets to that, even if the situations appear to be pretty identical there's just no way that you can do that. So I just implore people to be more compassionate, to be more open-minded and to hold more space for people in whatever the challenges they're going through, because there's a lot more complexity than what is on the surface.
Dionne Malush:
That makes a lot of sense. And so you've been through a lot of adversity. Just in our few minutes of talking, I can tell in your lowest moments what kept you going, what made you get to this point today, where you're at. What was the, what was the thing for?
Mindi Lyons:
you, my lowest moments were far lower than I even realized. I had the capacity to dip down, because I generally am someone who tries to see the positive in things. And those low moments, you know, during that second relationship, especially where I was so beat down and just the circumstances that I was in, were enormously depressing, not just the relationship dynamics itself, but there were. There were numerous tragedies. I almost lost my life after losing my baby late in pregnancy. There were complications, so there was a lot of of heartache from that loss of that baby and we had multiple, you know, major financial challenges went through bankruptcy, foreclosure. You know, selling plasma challenges went through bankruptcy, foreclosure. You know, selling plasma to be able to get Christmas gifts, I mean, it was just. There was a lot of things that we navigated and that I also navigated on my own. But I think for me it was even though I had gotten to the point where I couldn't even imagine there being a glimmer at the end of the tunnel. I couldn't even see the possibility of there being any hope for me. I felt like I was a waste of oxygen. I felt like I would be doing people a favor by not being around. I definitely had the suicidal thoughts. And that's the thing is. You know, we have a lot of judgment towards even things like that. It's so selfish, you know, for someone to do that. But most people who do that really truly believe and convince themselves that the world would be a better place if they weren't in it. And I understand what that thought process is like because I for sure felt it and almost you know that you were almost being unkind to people by staying around because you sucked the oxygen out of the people that you were around, you know. So it's like all this negative selftalk. I had it all and I was an emotional eater. So I had gotten up to be almost 300 pounds and that just compounded my own. You know, I had personal judgment towards myself about my physicality and just the circumstances that I had been through and all of the failures. I really took it to heart that that was me and that I was worthless and good for nothing and all the things that were spoken over to me as a child. I was fulfilling them. So I think it was really that, um, I, I wanted to believe that somehow things could be different. Even if I didn't, I couldn't imagine that they could, because they were so bad and I felt so surrounded by darkness. I wanted to at least believe that they could be, and I also didn't want you know how I talked about that that ferocity of just like I don't want to be average.
Mindi Lyons:
There were things that I felt were spoken over me as a youth. You know from a spiritual context that I just it was like this. It was like this thing that was showing me that I was going to be somebody who would impact many, many lives somewhere down the road in my future, and that I would be someone who would be an inspiration and encouragement and who would be able to bring hope to the masses and healing to two people. But I didn't see how that could be possible, because it's like my life was clearly not reflecting that. I was the hot mess. I was the example of people who you shouldn't be. So there was that there was hanging on to this. Could this be possible? Could the things that were spoken over me when I was a youth like in my mind's eye, those things that were kind of put in my spirit as a youth, could those be true? If so, I kind of want to stick around and find out. Can things actually get better.
Mindi Lyons:
So it was like day by day, making the choice to show up the next day and the next day and the next day. Plus, I had kids and I was not somebody who would have removed myself from this planet, you know, because I had kids. So it was, it was that. And then that shifted. It shifted, the meaning became different, you know. First it was survival I just need to be able to survive from the one day to the next day and then it shifted from survival to actually like, oh my gosh, this, this life, this freedom, this every day feels like it is a perpetual treasure hunt. Because as I started navigating the healing process and, you know, really redefining who I am and really shifting my mindset and how I interpreted all of the things that had happened to me, everything looked completely different and my life overall is a complete 180. It's nothing similar to what it used to be.
Dionne Malush:
So you talk about your family when you were growing up and you said that you know they weren't very positive towards you right? So as you went into your second marriage, did your family help Because you said you went to move back with your parents, were they? Did they change in the course of all of that? Did they treat you differently as you were an adult?
Mindi Lyons:
So one thing I want to say is that I'm not trying to paint a negative picture of my family whatsoever. Um, I, even though there were some some very difficult things, you know that that we went through and I know that my parents did the best that they knew how. I have hella respect, you know, for for parents, as a parent, and I have a lot of grace for that. So I do want to say that I love my parents. I know that they love me. The only thing is that we just have extremely contrasting views of what you know how, how a person should live, and we haven't been able to find any common ground on the Almost anything.
Mindi Lyons:
The music that I listen to. You know how I look, what I wear, what I do, how I raise my kids. You know there's, there's a very in that specific type of belief system. There are very clear black and white. This is right. This is wrong, and I just I just have found for my own self that that's not what I personally subscribe to. I see things very differently in my relationship with God is very, very, very different than what I was sort of taught. So we, sadly, I don't I don't have close relationships with almost any of my family. But I know they love me and I know that I love them. It's just there's no common ground.
Dionne Malush:
Well, I, unfortunately, like I have had my family was so supportive for me. You know, as people that weren't right. You know, we grew up in a trailer court and I remember someone saying to me you're doing trailer trash and someone else like paint, spray painted on the steps of the church where I live some really nasty things about me. I was 14 years old, like I wasn't nasty, right, I was just a little you know and then from that point you know just you.
Dionne Malush:
You take those and if you live in that right which some people can never get out of and it's, it's difficult, but you can't live in the past, you cannot let that define who you are today. I'm 55 now, right, if I, if I lived in that I would never be where I am right now. So there's a you know a lot of stories. We all have them, and I think for you, what I see when you light up is when you're a mother. So your approach now is even different. Right Now you have kids that need you and you have four kids, total right.
Mindi Lyons:
Well, my stepson you know, he's. He's an adult now, and so, as far as the children I'm responsible for, I have three yes.
Dionne Malush:
Yeah, so you know. So I can see if you'd light up which is, and they won't be able to see what I can see, but you light up when you talk about them. So how has being a mother influenced your approach to overcoming challenges that you face? What? What can you give to the audience on that?
Mindi Lyons:
That's been a wild journey. I had a lot of criticism. You know, after all these things happened definitely lost friends, family, people made rumors about me, even though you know the activity, the whole reason why I was divorced and my husband's turning out to be, you know, imprisoned. I got sort of lumped into that somehow and there were rumors spread about me and so it was. There was a lot of mom um. You know what parts am I responsible for, even though I wasn't responsible for anything that they did?
Mindi Lyons:
It's like having to really do a very deep analysis and audit of my own self and how I attracted these relationships and feeling so much mom guilt about how my own decisions had I mean, had an effect on my kids. You know, I mean I chose somebody that turned out to be a certain way and then now my kids have no father and you know there's a lot of that. So I've had to really sort through a lot of mom guilt and then also a lot of just criticism that came from people and rumors that were spread about me. So all of people's worst fears. I feel like I've lived a lot of those worst fears of abandonment and rejection and criticism and all those things. I've lived it and I'm a highly sensitive person, so those things hurt me deeply, but they've also developed me into someone who is very resilient and who has a much, much thicker skin, although I've been able to hold the duality of being someone who's very soft and compassionate and gentle and understanding. But I'm also very, very badass. I own, you know, my responsibility. I own who I am, and so it's been interesting because I've had to do a lot of evaluating even my parenting. You know what, what type of parenting style actually feels right for me, because, especially when you don't have someone else to sort of bounce things off of and I'm not part of a two-parent family, so I'm not having to consider anybody else's opinions about anything I was always like am I being too soft? Am I being too harsh? I'm playing the good cop and the bad cop, and it's like you have to be all things. I'm the grandparents, I'm the aunts, I'm the uncles like I'm, I'm everything, and it would be utterly overwhelming.
Mindi Lyons:
And what I have found has worked best for me, which I mean I'm not going to say that my thing is everybody's thing, because you know we all have to follow our own individual path. I'm only sharing what has worked for me, and I parent wildly different from what I was taught and also from what I see a lot of parents doing and I'm not saying they're doing it wrong. I've just found that I have, I've had to disassociate myself with any of my previous conceived ideas about what what parenting should look like. I've had to really give myself an enormous amount of grace and compassion and forgiveness because I've learned that that does no good to me, to to talk down to myself or to to feel guilty about things or any of that. And I've also learned that being very open with my children I mean I think there's a balance to that. There's an age appropriateness to that there is. You know, you have to kind of navigate that in your way. There are some parents who are on the extreme open with their kids and kind of almost use them as therapy friends or something, and if that works for you, that's great. But I'm very open with my kids because I have learned that that's a valuable quality, not just in parenting but in general. I feel like vulnerability is a superpower. So I own my stuff and I will tell my kids that. You know I I'm sorry if I snapped at you. I, I'm not making excuses, I'm just, you know, maybe I had a bad headache or something, and it's not an excuse. I'm just explaining. You know that that this is why I did. I'm just not feeling well or whatever, and I will own the mistakes that I have and when.
Mindi Lyons:
Um, one thing that I've noticed that is not necessarily a really mainstream, wide taught concept is that my kids something I picked up on is that my kids and how they show up to me, you know, in in terms of their behavior, is oftentimes a mirror, reflection of something that's going on inside of me. So I take hyper, hyper self-responsibility and it doesn't mean that I, that each one of us, are accountable, right but I've learned is that, you know, let's say that you know, one of my kids is being super hypercritical of me or something. Um, I I honestly take a look at it and I'm like, wow, okay, this is showing up to me as a mirror. How am I being really hypercritical of myself? Because I've learned that a lot of this has to do with energy, the energy that you're putting out, and if I'm putting out a lot of self-criticism, then that oftentimes will get reflected back to me, either through you know, through the people that I interact with. So that has been so helpful to me to be able to release other people of how they're impacting me and my emotions, because I take ownership of that. And once I've done that, the awesome thing is that I understand that how I also show up impacts how other people show up to me, and so I love to show up with grace and compassion and kindness with people and with openheartedness and with vulnerability. Up with grace and compassion and kindness with people and with openheartedness and with vulnerability, so that then gets reflected back to me and my kids.
Mindi Lyons:
Now I mean, of course you know we banter back and forth. My kids all have wonderful senses of humor, so we make jokes about all sorts of different things and, you know, even bashing stuff. It'll be like oh man, I wish your good mom was in charge of dinner tonight, because you know I'm just not feeling it or whatever. You know, we'll just kind of make fun of it and that's just part of our lighthearted approach. We just all sort of have this lightheartedness about it because I used to be extremely harsh and like the extreme disciplinarian and it's just not that way anymore and our home environment is. I mean, we have mistakes and we have, you know, the bad days and all of it, but the home environment overall is incredible.
Dionne Malush:
Such a great. What you just said about how you show up gets reflected back to you or to me. I love that. I'm just going to hear that over and over again in my head, because I do feel that, owning this company, you know, when I walk in the door and I'm you know, I can tell like when I'm in a bad mood or I'm upset about something, the reflection it comes right back at me, and so it's important that you realize that and that we all think about that how we show up. So you've been a guiding light now for many people. You know you've turned this all around. You've proved that you can get up. You're the phoenix rising. Who are your role models or sources of inspiration during your journey? Who is somebody that you can?
Mindi Lyons:
tell us something positive that impacted you. Oh goodness. Well, you know, in terms of my personal circle of friends, that has shifted a lot and it's and it's gotten very, very small, and that's intentional. Some people shifted out of their own accord and sometimes that was painful, and then now, with my awareness, now I bless and release. I always trust that whoever comes into my experience, whoever leaves, it's all for the good. Some people are for a season, some people are for a lifetime and I never have any bitterness about it at all or cynicism. It's never. She did that, he did that. It's never like that for me anymore, because I see it from the broader view now.
Mindi Lyons:
Um, so my, my inner circle is very, very small, um, for many reasons, but, um, in terms of people who have had a heavy influence on being able to help me with shifting my mindset, um, being able to transform, I mean you really do transform from the inside out. It was shifting my mindset. Being able to transform, I mean you really do transform from the inside out, it was shifting my mindset and, you know, really intentionally focusing on personal development, I highly prioritize that in my life. Once I realized that you know my life. If I don't like it. I, I have to take full responsibility. As long as we're pointing fingers, blaming other people, blaming our circumstances, we're giving our power away. Well, I don't want to give my power away. I took my power back and I said if I want my life to be different, I have to do something different. And I understood that personal development and your mindset really are. Your mindset is what creates. You know your behaviors, your patterns and it's like your patterns of thought create the life that you live and and your beliefs are just thoughts that you just keep thinking. That's all. A belief is. A belief doesn't even mean that it's true.
Mindi Lyons:
So the people that I would say stood out the most to me because I used to listen to YouTube videos and read books. I mean hours a day, and people would say I don't have the time for that. Well, I was a freaking single mom of three kids, raising them by myself. I had a full-time job at that time and you know I would every time I was driving, every time I was in the shower, whenever I was cooking or cleaning or whatever the case is. I mean hours a day. I was doing this.
Mindi Lyons:
So it's one of those things, you know, you can find a way or find an excuse, but I knew that my life had been dramatically horrible and I knew that to have it be dramatically incredible and, being also someone who's impatient, I don't want things to take forever to get them done I dove in and I was like I need to make my my secondary job, my side hustle, needs to be my mindset. So the ones that stood out were serious. You know you can make a lot of money in your life by changing your freaking mindset. You would be shocked at how much everything changes when you make that your priority. It doesn't happen automatically. You have to intentionally focus on it.
Mindi Lyons:
Okay, so the most influential things that come to my mind and I'll mention some that are on the spiritual side, because I'm not trying to push any religion or anything like that I'm just sharing the ones that were most impactful to me at the very beginning, when I was going through really deep darkness. The ones that were the most impactful to me were Joyce Meyers, stephen Furtick, with Elevation.
Dionne Malush:
Church and there's another.
Mindi Lyons:
Oh my gosh, rick, rick Warren, I think the one yeah, Okay, so those, because they preach or speak, it's not just preaching, they speak so much about mindset. Joyce Myers is freaking funny, she's hilarious and I just so relate to her humanity and they all, in their own way, really spoke a lot about, about grace and compassion and kindness, and you know the journey of life and how warriors are built from the stuff that I had been through. That's how you become a warrior. It isn't something to begrudge. The stuff that you've been through Isn't something to be ashamed of.
Mindi Lyons:
It completely shifted how I see what has happened to me in my life and to be able to see, like one of the books um, I think it's Charles Stanley, uh, wrote is. I think it's Charles Stanley wrote is. I think it's called the beauty of brokenness and, oh my gosh, it's like I now saw myself as like I am a freaking warrior. I am a superhero in my own right because I held so much of this stuff. I made it on the other side and I was put here to be someone that transmutes pain into something that's powerful and purposeful. I was someone who is here to alchemize, you know, being a victim into being someone who is victorious. I was putting you for that, so I'm like bring it. You know I don't see my challenges any other way. So then the podcast. I know you want to say something real quick.
Mindi Lyons:
I adore the most I would say would be Lewis Howe's School of Greatness was a huge impact to me in so many ways Maxed Out by Ed Milet, which was single. He would totally be my man. A lot of girls would say that Maxed Out and this was later on. This was not during the early years, but it's a whole vibe with Mel Robbins I love her. And Jamie Caram Lima believe it, her book, believe it. There's so many people but those are definitely the ones that stand out like right off the top of my head.
Dionne Malush:
I love this because I drown myself in positivity and mindset Like I love it so much. In fact I have so many books that I told my husband when I die I would like all my books in my casket please. There you go, because I know they have energy and the energy and I always buy books that are used and they understand they're written in or have. Like I want the books that someone else wrote in. Like I love that energy, you know. So I looked at the other day I think I spent 120 hours a month on, you know, classes and mindset and trainings. That's a lot, but then when you look at how many hours you really have, it's 20% of my. It's not that much. When I look at it that way and I I would much rather think positive than negative it feels better. It's a great feeling. You do things differently. You can conquer the world with positivity and mindset.
Dionne Malush:
So, I love that how you've transitioned. Just watching you. I love watching you talk. You're incredible. So I can see your initial. You know I can see the pain, and then I could see what this beauty that is radiating from you. I wish you all could.
Mindi Lyons:
It's not easy to talk about this stuff and a few months ago, when I got the spiritual messaging that it's time this is what you've been preparing for your entire life. You need to start sharing your story with the masses I was freaking scared, because it's not easy talking about this stuff. I'm a big one about how what you focus on magnifies and I don't want to focus on this stuff because I don't want to amplify it, but it's all in in the energy of how you do it and the intention behind you do. I'm not just coming on here to whine and complain about stuff. I'm coming here with an intention and a purpose, a very, um, divine purpose. It's not even me trying to push my own agenda, but you can see the pain, because it's not easy to talk about these things and have a smile on my face and talk about, you know, all these rotten things that I went through, but it's so there's. There's something that happens when you do this, when you expose all those things to the light, for one thing, and you talk about these things, you it heals yourself in in multiple ways. It deepens the healing process. Even though I've done a ton of work on that, talking about these things. It's like it've done a ton of work on that.
Mindi Lyons:
Talking about these things. It's like it integrates a part of that story. It's almost like it fulfills. It's like it comes full circle where you didn't experience it. Now you're taking that experience, packaging it up and giving it to someone else. Here's my gift to you of the life lessons that I've learned, the fingerprint that I left on this planet, the life lessons that I've learned, the fingerprint that I left on this planet. I'm giving you literally decades of my life that I have experienced the pain, the anguish, the heartache, the tears like none of it was meaningless. All of it had a purpose and this is why I'm here, so you're going to see all of it. I'm an emotional person, so you're going to see the gamut of all of it the pain and the and the cheesy ass grins.
Dionne Malush:
And I get to see them. I'm very fortunate. So let's end this with a piece of advice you'd give to someone that's just beginning their journey of overcoming adversity, because there's a lot of people out there that need this, so let's give them that one final piece of advice.
Mindi Lyons:
Oh goodness, there's so much I could say and I have a really hard time condensing things into just a few words. I mean, the first thing that comes to mind is is that you really do have to be kind to yourself. I know that sounds so basic, but it was extremely paramount, important to me because as long as you're getting in your own way by saying you know you're, you're worthless, you know whatever, the negative thing is that you're telling yourself for one thing it's not true, regardless of how strongly you believe it or how strongly anybody else has told you to believe it. It's just not true. And I know that you're going to feel a little bit of an imposter side of you coming out when you start to try to talk to yourself positively about yourself and you might even feel like it's a little bit of like narcissistic to say, oh, I love myself, and it wouldn't even feel right at the beginning. You know, I remember telling my therapist I laughed at her when she told me to look in the mirror and say I love yourself, because I told her that will never happen. Well, newsflash, it did. I do love who I am. I love so many things about myself, not from a narcissistic way, but just because God made me who I am and I think that I am an incredible human being, that that has a lot of great to give to the world, and and there's nothing wrong with owning that I own that and I want to other people to be able to do that too. And the first way to do that is to I know this isn't overnight. You have to be patient with yourself in the process, which would be the second thing that I would say is grace to yourself, forgiveness for yourself and be patient with yourself in this process. It takes time to rewire your thoughts, but that 1% every single day, 365 over a year you would be shocked and amazed at how quickly your life can change and take a different shape in order when you put intentional focus on it.
Mindi Lyons:
And the last thing that I will say is environment is everything. I've had to remove people from my life and I've actually completely shifted my literal environment. I moved my whole family to a different state. I removed myself from all of the voices that were trying to feed into me as to who I should be and what I should do, and all of that. I completely stripped myself of everything that didn't feel like it was the best fit for me, which is so hard, and especially if you're a people pleaser, you're going to be telling yourself all these stories about how you're selfish or you're not kind, or you're not a good Christian, or other people will be telling you all these stories about how you're selfish or you're not kind, or you're not a good Christian, or or other people will be telling you those things because you're not doing the things that you want they want you to do anymore.
Mindi Lyons:
It's so funny when, when you really think about it, but your environment both the external environment, your internal environment, about your thoughts and what you're telling yourself, and also the people and the voices that you're allowing into your space all of it matters. Do not think that it's insignificant. So if there is an environment that isn't conducive to your emotional health, your physical health, your wellbeing, I would just I would just encourage you to make some shifts. I don't know what those shifts look like for you, but that, in combination with intentionally focusing on your mindset and your personal development, your internal healing work, which is one of the most avoided things people do and it's one of the most powerful things that you can do All of those three key pieces are my recipe for a wildly crazy transformation and an amazing life. Phoenix Rising.
Dionne Malush:
Yes, yes, so it's been inspiring. Thank you so much for being on here. So if our listeners want to get in touch with you, what's the easiest way?
Mindi Lyons:
My website is under revision right now. You can find me on Instagram as ThePhoenix F-E-N-Y-X. I'm also on Facebook, I'm on YouTube, I'm on all the places, but my website will be thephoenixcom, that's fantastic.
Dionne Malush:
I love the way you spelled it too. It's really, really cool. And so don't forget to like, subscribe and share this episode with anyone you know that may be going through adversity. If we can just help one person today, this podcast is a success. Thank you for joining us and keep shining on our journey too.