EP 151 | Navigating Body Standards: How to Overcome Expectations to Find What Works Best for Us

In this week’s episode, host Lisa Tarkington is joined by guest Katie Bramlett, Cofounder of WeShape, for an empowering chat on health, fitness, and breaking society’s expectations on our bodies! Lisa and Katie dive into how society’s standards have evolved in the wellness and fitness space today. Tune in to gain actionable tips to overcome expectations and find what works best for to feel comfortable and confident in your skin! Don't miss out on this empowering discussion!

Chapters:

• 0:00 - Intro
• 5:05 - Meet Guest Katie Bramlett
• 10:39 - Standards & Expectations on Women & Men
• 19:32 - How to Shift Expectations on Your Body
• 31:35 - Key Takeaways & Outro

Guest, Katie Bramlett’s Info to Connect:

• Katie’s LinkedIn
• WeShape’s Website
• Follow WeShape on Facebook
• Subscribe to WeShape on Youtube

Get a two-week FREE trial to Weshape! Click here for the gift. 

Transcript

Katie Bramlett: 0:00

I feel like a lot of people come into various programs or you know products and they're like okay, tell me what to do. And I'm like oh no, like I'm actually trying to get you to connect with you more. So my favorite question when people come in is how many times a week should I use your app to work out? I'm like I don't know how your body feels that day, like it's like a right above the bed. It's a practice. I'm like how do I get you to check in with you?

Lisa Tarkington: 0:27

Welcome to the confident podcast. I am Lisa Tarkington, your host of this podcast. If you found yourself hitting play on this podcast, it means it was meant for you. My goal is to help, empower and guide you to become a better version of yourself through conversation, advice and tips that are real, vulnerable and authentic. I am excited to have you join this journey with me. So let's get started. Hey everybody, welcome back for another episode of the confident podcast. I am your host, lisa Tarkington.

Lisa Tarkington: 0:55

It is such an honor to be in the seat talking about all things confidence every week, to hear the stories from all of you guys sharing how you are utilizing these tools, when you're like, ah, that one resonated with me so much, and just all of the things in between. You know, when I started this podcast oh gosh, I don't even know how many years ago at this point is that I just wanted people to learn tools to gain confidence, and I think that this podcast has become so much more than that. We're starting to really build into a community that I'm so proud of, and I just wanted to say thank you so much for being on this journey with us. So, as we look into the future, we look at 2024 and where we are today. I don't know about you guys, but, man, it has flown by. It has been so crazy to watch some of the goals that I had set for myself in December already coming true, some that you know. Actually, I had to push out a little bit and I was okay with that. I think sometimes I had my list of things that I wanted to get done, but at the same time I knew that if I want to do them well, some other things just had to go on the back burner for a little bit. In the past, I will tell you, that would have really bothered me. That would have bothered me that I didn't hit, I would say, 100%, complete, and that perfectionism mindset would have came into play. But now I feel like, as I've grown as a person, gained more confidence, have all the tools in my life, I'm able to look at life in a little bit of a different perspective and notice that I will achieve those goals. They just might not be at the same time as what I had planned for right away, and then other goals that I had. I was actually shocked of how fast I met those goals.

Lisa Tarkington: 2:34

So if you are in this funk right now or you're noticing like, wow, time is flying by. I just want you to take a deep breath in and I want you to know that, hey, we're all in this together. We're all trying to figure out what is our next steps. We're always looking at what's next for ourselves, but it's also important to look at the moment and have that grace and peace with those around you. For me, that means my husband is gone a lot for work. He travels a lot, and so when he is home, I really make sure that I'm intentional about my time, knowing that I can work a few more hours when he's gone.

Lisa Tarkington: 3:09

And so when you can find that, I'm going to say quote, unquote balance. However, balance is defined for you, it's really important because it's so great to look back at just a few months of 2024 already and see so many fun moments that we've had as a family and with friends, and choosing them, sometimes over all the tedious tasks that I have for work, has been kind of reward. It's actually been really rewarding and something that I hope all of you guys know that when we talk about support systems on here, it also means that we have to give back to our support systems as well. We can't just take from them all the time. So that is kind of what I've been up to, and I hope that all of your guys's goals are going well this year. So today's topic is actually really near and dear to my heart. I'll get into it a little bit as to why later when we get into the conversation with our guests. But we're going to be talking about how to overcome expectations with our bodies to find what works best for us.

Lisa Tarkington: 4:08

And when Katie and I got connected to have her come on the show, which I'll have her introduce herself in a second, this topic really hit home because for a long time in my teenage years, diet culture was really kind of pushed in different formats and I don't even think a lot of people realized that it was getting pushed on us. But you know, I had girls in my classes that were taking diet pills. A lot of us were always on diets for sports or whatever that looked like for us. A lot of our parents were on diets too and not saying right or wrong or anything. I think it's just also you don't know what you don't know, and maybe that's where we all were in that generation.

Lisa Tarkington: 4:51

I think we've come a long ways as a society, which we'll talk about here a little bit, but I'm excited to dive into this. So today, this is what we're going to be talking about. So, katie, thank you so much for being on this podcast with us. Katie is the guest co-founder of we Shape, and so, if you would, would it mind sharing a little bit about yourself with our audience today, hi thank you so much for having me.

Katie Bramlett: 5:11

Yes, I'm Katie. I'm the co-founder of we Shape. We are a startup company that's focusing on movement, like moving your body to feel better, not to burn calories or reach a certain number on the scale, and we're also focusing on mentality. So really digging deep into understanding why we're showing up and what are some of the things that we can expose about the wellness industry that are actually harming us and allow people to sort of make decisions from that space, rather than seeking that external validation or that number on the scale Awesome.

Lisa Tarkington: 5:43

And right when you said all of that, I'm like, yes, exactly that's what we need. So what made you so? Tell me, like, let's back up and ask you like, what made you want to start or co-found? We Shape.

Katie Bramlett: 5:57

Yeah, I mean. So my co-founder and I were running a completely opposite company. We were running a body transformation company. We basically sold diet and exercise plans with the intention of people to transform their bodies and lose weight, and we helped thousands of people do that. Like literally thousands of people bought our products and lost a lot of weight. I like to tell everybody that my Instagram life looked really good. We had made the Inc 500 three years in a row. We were really scaling the company, scaling our team and lots of people were buying our products.

Katie Bramlett: 6:35

And something inside of me didn't feel right and something inside of my co-founder didn't feel right. They were different things, but it was sort of like we got all the stuff, we got all the accolades, we got all the validation right, because we were also like heavily in that diet and exercise culture ourselves. So it's like we did it, we got everything. And then why are we looking at each other Like? This doesn't feel great. So we kind of organically came to each other. I try to be honest about this. There was actually a little bit of battle of the wills. He was like okay, the next steps in this company are, I feel like we need to have a really good product that's driven by technology that allows people extreme customization, that's focusing on exercise science and micro movement progressions, and I'm like I hear you Like I think that is a better product and I think that we don't have a defined quality of exercise in the fitness space and what you're doing is taking what would be a very skilled personal trainer and helping people move better so that they feel better. That's sort of his skill set is. He's like he can get people feeling really good in their body and a lot of people have pain right, and so he helps people in that way. And then at the same time, I was like we have to turn all of this on its head, because I am watching all these people lose weight and they are not happy with themselves. Like they either want more weight loss, or that wasn't what they thought it would be, or it only lasts like a month. Like they are not happy, they're not getting what they wanted and like that's when I started going down the path of looking at the mentality side. So he was like we got to do this movement thing and I was like we got to do this mentality thing and I was like actually I'm pretty sure we could just put those together. So we basically shut that other company down and self-funded this company for the last two years.

Katie Bramlett: 8:28

So I like to start off by telling people that I have had really big realizations around what people are really after when they say that they want to lose weight. They want to know that they're valuable, they want to know that they matter, they want to know that they're accepted by people, and what I try to remind people when they come here and they say that they want to lose weight, I really believe in body autonomy. So I'm like whatever you want to do with your body is your decision and I just want to support that. But I want to just ask why a number of times? And so if we know that the goal is to get value and love and worth, we could work on that without the weight loss being the primary function of that.

Katie Bramlett: 9:07

So, yeah, it's been a whirlwind and we're basically doing the exact opposite of what we were doing and there's actually never been I mean startup right. So there's never been more financial pressure. There's never been more kind of like we're trying to break a new mold in the fitness space and wellness space. That's not really aligned with some of the mainstream narratives and so, yeah, there's a lot of that and I've never felt more grounded and more at home with myself through this process, even yeah. So it's just to highlight, like the life before checked a lot of boxes. The life I'm doing now may not compared to what normal societal standards are, but I feel so different.

Lisa Tarkington: 9:52

Wow, I have chills actually for you on that, because I will say that has got to be one of the toughest decisions that you had to make. Right, like when that kind of yearns inside you and we talk a lot about this on the podcast all the time of like. Sometimes we have these things that creep up in our hearts and our intuition is there, our guts, telling us something, but we're like, okay, I'm just might going to just put this to the side for a little bit because I have a good thing going, right, like I have all the awards and all of these things happening, but then it doesn't go away until, usually, we do something about it. So, no-transcript, that's amazing and I'll dive into that.

Lisa Tarkington: 10:28

I have lots of questions for you on that as well. But I know today we're talking about, you know, the transition and why the stuff's important, and so I would say, you know, when we look at society, I feel like we have tried really hard to be more inclusive, right, like we've talked more about it, shapes and sizes, all of that stuff, um, but there's still those expectations out there. You know, I was, um, I'm on a lots of social media and I saw recently some people even posting things and like we're going backwards in some acts, um and some ways. And so what would you say are some expectations that you're seeing currently? Uh, women and men.

Katie Bramlett: 11:08

I mean, I hope I can answer this in an appropriate way, because I'm going to just be really honest and say that, um, I am very mindful of how I curate my, my information and the people around me and the things I digest, because, um, I just think that it's weird. It's like this weird balance of like I want to be in the mainstream and understand what's going on in the media, cause I don't want to be disconnected and I don't want to be like overly consumed with my own beliefs, cause what if I'm missing something that I should be aware of? Um, but I guess I can just speak to what I hear a lot when people come in here.

Katie Bramlett: 11:43

Yeah, which is a lot of those standards are still there and, like, I want to remind people, we're not trying to be inclusive because it's the trendy thing that will sell you a product. We're trying to be inclusive because we've discovered that that's what like the human being behind the phone, behind the computer, behind everything but find social media actually wants. So, um, I think that you know it's, the expectations are still there and, um, I think it's just a matter of you know, I think that's what I'm thinking about. I had someone on our podcast recently that was talking about like her idea is of like finding yourself has sort of been not her perspective anymore. It's like how do I create the next version of me?

Katie Bramlett: 12:28

And and that really resonated with me because I was like there are so many expectations placed on men and women and I can digest those and see those in front of my face, but if I don't take a moment to pause and go, wait a minute, what actually feels good for me?

Katie Bramlett: 12:44

And I think that's a really good question to ask, because sometimes the answer is going to be the opposite of what is being projected on to you. And that means, like in the case of my situation where I was running that company and, um, I had to detach from that identity if I wanted to actually get closer to the version of me that I felt most at home with, and so I yeah, I kind of I'm going all over the place, but I guess back to your question. I think that we are moving in in the direction of being in the right direction and helping people detach from those expectations and molds. And a lot of that is still there because the ego loves that and so and that sells a lot of stuff. So I I don't know that we can really break free from it. It's still really exists. If, if you're interested in being in that in that space.

Lisa Tarkington: 13:34

I think, uh, it's funny that you say ego. We actually just did a podcast a little bit ago about ego and when we take that out of perspective, what's true to ourselves? Right, and you know, you said something earlier as well about um. You know, when people lose weight, they're not always happy, and I thought about that as you were talking, because I think they rarely are.

Katie Bramlett: 13:54

Actually, I didn't they. I had thousands of people do this and they rarely are. I, I, I, I almost want to say none of them work.

Lisa Tarkington: 14:01

Wow. And it's interesting because when, when people lose weight, it's one of those common things that you bring up to someone like, wow, you look great and I don't think anybody means anything bad by it, right, it's more of just like you look great, you know, um. But what that does is I think sometimes it could trigger someone to be like um, I don't even know if that's the appropriate word to say, but it's like, okay, if I keep losing, I'll keep getting those external validations. And so you're sharing with us that a lot of people that are losing the weight still aren't happy. So what would be, I guess, what are things when someone's going through this process of, hey, if I lose weight, I will be happier Like what does that even mean? Or what are you seeing with the people that you're working with currently?

Katie Bramlett: 14:46

Well, first of all, I just want to go back to when we say like I like that you're bringing up that topic of we always like to comment on people. Oh, you look great. Um, we do have a little rule in our family. Uh, for my two daughters it's actually probably a rule that I have for myself, but that I want them to understand is we don't comment on people's bodies, Because what is the point of that? Yes, Love. What is the point of love? That? And when people, when my little girls were really small and people would come up to them and say, oh, you're so cute and I'm like, and they're really smart and they're really creative and they're really brave and they're like, like it's really interesting. Have you seen that study where they put a baby? Like they had a psychology class and they had a baby girl and a baby boy. They were like under a year old, they're like six months old, and they put them in front of the class and they asked the students to write descriptive characteristics of each baby.

Katie Bramlett: 15:39

They observed them for like 20 minutes and then they said, okay, write descriptive characteristics of these babies. And the everyone wrote very similar things about like the girl baby and very similar things about the boy baby. And it was like sweet, this you know, oh, really strong and you know very more gender identified things. And then the professor said, actually we dressed this one as a boy, but it's really a girl, and we dressed this one as a boy and it's a girl and it's really a boy. And it just goes to show like this is not.

Katie Bramlett: 16:07

My background is actually in child development, which is not an accident. This actually goes to show like these messages are literally ingrained in our brain from the day that we're born and so, of course, like that comment feels good, oh, you look great, especially if you're a female, because we have literally been trained since we came out of the womb to that is our value, that is how we're recognized in society. When my girls were a little, very few people that were like not close to us would come up to us and be like you're a little girl, seems like I'm really watching her and she seems really brave. No one ever said that, they only commented on her opinion. Wow.

Lisa Tarkington: 16:50

It's the same concept of I.

Katie Bramlett: 16:53

I speaking of confidence in the business world. I had to get over the idea that, for me to be a leader of a company, I was not going to be bossy. I was going to be a leader because if I was a male, I would be perceived as a leader. I would be perceived as a thought provoking future project. It's like it's so wild, these beliefs, that we aren't even aware of. So sorry to go off on that. No, you're good. It makes me realize, like, just how ingrained this stuff is. Yes, and so when we comment on people's looks and we comment on their weight, we're basically validating their experience that, yeah, this is how people see me. Yes, it is how people see me, and so it's everything. It's how you feel about yourself.

Lisa Tarkington: 17:41

And you're bringing up a great point too, one of the things, that is, we have to retrain our brains. But I think it's one of those things where it's not just the person hearing it, it's the person saying it and I say that stuff. Still, as you're saying those things, I'm like I know I say it sometimes and it's not because it's not because I don't like, want to, or I know that there's other words it's more of. Sometimes it just comes out right and it's like that compliment piece and like you're trying to create that relationship or certain things like that, and so no fault to anybody doing that, but more so it's how do we retrain ourselves to start thinking about it in a different way, right? Like instead of saying like, oh, you look beautiful, being able to not comment on, like the weight loss piece, or, but like on their intelligence or their thoughtfulness or how they're supportive, like looking at it from a different lens. Because I think when we hear those things from a different point of view, it also then helps our brains take that in and then want to want to share that out with other people.

Lisa Tarkington: 18:43

So I always say it's that ripple effect, right, when we hear something, we kind of take it in, and social media is everywhere. So when we're talking about societal expectations and things, it starts to seep in. It does it seeps in what you're watching, and then it kind of like, has that ripple effect in some way. And so, to your point, it's like how do we shift our mindsets to think about that differently? And you know, one of the things that you have said, like is, instead of looking at it from like the weight loss thing, it's about changing that mindset to look at it from a different of like okay, what do I really need? And so tell us a little bit more about like how you, when people come to you with that expectation of quote unquote, weight loss, how are you walking through the steps to maybe identify it as not that's not what they need at the moment, and maybe it is right, like I don't know. But yeah, if you wouldn't mind elaborating on that.

Katie Bramlett: 19:32

Yeah, I mean again, like I said before, I really do believe in people deciding to what's best for them and it's not my job. Like I feel like a lot of people come into various programs or you know products and they're like okay, tell me what to do. And I'm like, oh no, like I'm actually trying to get you to connect with you more. So my favorite question when people come in is how many times a week should I use your app to work out? I'm like I don't know how your body feels that day. Like it's like a right on buff the bat. It's a practice. I'm like how do I get you to check in with you? Obviously, we need professionals guiding us in certain. I'm not saying to throw the baby out with the bath water, but we have given so much of our power away to everyone around us Because if we do it that way and then it looks good or feels good, then they'll get the validation for that person. And so I'm not talking about, like, severe medical conditions where people need to be seeing medical advice. I'm talking about everyday things that we're doing that we think are the right quote, unquote right thing to do, but they're really just guidance from somebody else like that might not know our most inner knowing. So when people come into we shape, we actually do have four pillars that we're really trying to always go back to, but it's not to get a certain outcome other than are you connecting with you more, right? And so the four pillars that we focus on here are movement like I said before, rather than exercise and burning calories, like movement, movement, movement, movement, intention. If we can just ask that, why question so many times like why am I doing it? Why am I doing it? Why am I doing it? We often get to things that don't feel great but that help us understand ourselves better, right? Oh, I'm really doing this because when I was little, my dad used to comment on my weight all the time and I feel like my self worth and self esteem were really impacted. Whoa, okay that we can go there, we can work with that, right, it doesn't feel good always to have to acknowledge that, but that might be the underlying thing behind why you think you wanna lose weight. So intention and really digging a little deeper. And then community I really do believe that if you're going down a path that is counter to the cultural narrative, you have to be mindful of who you surround yourself with, or you're just gonna be in the live because the media, like you said, it does seep in, rather we believe it or not, it absolutely seeps in. And then the fourth pillar is beliefs, which is why we developed the Failing Lighter podcast where we bring guests on to sort of evaluate beliefs that have been sort of the norm and we dissect those a little bit to see if they still serve us. Our quote in that podcast is how you feel about yourself changes everything. That's where our behaviors come from. That's where our life's fulfillment and satisfaction come from, is how we feel about ourselves, right? And so, yeah, those are the four pillars that we're really attuning to in Wee Shaped.

Katie Bramlett: 22:30

Ultimately, I'm trying to get people to connect with themselves, and I'll quickly use this analogy. I talk about this a lot. I think that people are born with two dials on the inside. One is like an inner knowing of what I need and what I want, and the other is an external dial of information that's coming in, and I always say that like if there was a baby in this room with us. Their internal dial we're born it turned to 10. That baby doesn't care that we push record in that worry. Hey, we're in the middle of something. If they're hungry, they're going to cry, right.

Katie Bramlett: 22:58

The external dial is turned way down and then, as we get older, that external dial starts to go up and the internal dial starts to go down. I can't cry right now. I need to get this podcast. I, you know we start to take the information from the outside. Now I don't believe the external dial can ever be turned off, unless you're going to go live by yourself in a cave somewhere. And I don't believe the internal dial can ever be turned off. I think we always have an inner knowing. It might be down to level one, but it's there. So my goal when people come into eShape is to get them to turn that internal dial up just a little Like. Can we get it turned up just a little so that you know what you need and we can support you in your path?

Lisa Tarkington: 23:36

Taking care of your health isn't always easy, but it should at least be simple. That's why, for the last three to four years, I have been drinking AG1 every day, no exceptions. It is just one scoop mixed in with water once a day, every day, and it makes me feel energized and ready to take on the day. That's because each serving of AG1 delivers my daily dose of vitamins, minerals and probiotics, plus more. It's a powerful, healthy habit. That's also very simple, and I like simple. I like to drink AG1 first thing in the morning, and that is what is also recommended. I fill up my shaker with extra cold water, add one scoop of AG1, shake it up and I'm ready to go. If I'm running short on time and can't mix my AG1 before heading out, I'll grab a travel pack, and that has been so helpful for all of my travel times. Each is an individual serving of AG1 that's easy to mix on the go, helping ensure I get my daily nutrition, no matter what. If there's one product I would recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1. And that's why I've been partnering with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, let's start with AG1. Try it and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3 plus K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase, exclusively at drinkag1.com. Slash the confident. Again. That's drink AG1, slash the confident, so check it out.

Lisa Tarkington: 25:02

As a host of this podcast, I wear many other hats, including an ACC coach, which stands for Associate Certified Coach through the International Coaching Federation. I have gone through extensive learning and have been coaching individuals for years. I have had a front row seat at watching people transform, grow in their careers, take control of their careers and become intentional, gain confidence and more. I believe in the transformative power of self-discovery and personal and professional growth. If you are ready to grow either in your personal or professional life, break through limiting beliefs and step into a life of confidence, I would love to support you.

Lisa Tarkington: 25:40

As a certified coach through ICF, I have the knowledge and expertise to coach you and help guide you on your journey. To work directly with me, visit leesatarkingtoncom slash coaching Again that is leesatarkingtoncom slash coaching to sign up for your free consultation. I can not wait to help you become a better version of yourself. I love that and I love all of your pillars and it's actually everything that we represent here. So kudos to you guys for choosing those and living by them, because I think that is a great analogy. To also point out and as you were talking, my reflection on that was over the years my internal dials have gone up more, but it didn't happen overnight.

Lisa Tarkington: 26:24

Like a lot of times, I think, even when I was on the journey to lose weight over the years, it was always that external factor. I don't think I understood why I was doing what I was doing, and last year I was meeting with a dietician to talk about some struggles I was having with my stomach. Long story short, she asked me what types of workouts I was doing and I was doing a lot of HIIT workouts because I knew that that was like a fast burning calorie, right, and all of these things. And she just looked at me and we had a very candid conversation about, like, what I needed for my body to fuel it and to make it better. And within 15 minutes, I finally, like, reminded myself why I do what I do. Right, the workouts that I enjoy is for movement. Right, I got rid of some of the workouts that I didn't actually enjoy doing because I was doing it for the wrong reasons.

Lisa Tarkington: 27:21

But my support systems, the community, all of these things that I had to put into place over the course of years right. So, like, as you talk about the dial, the external one is always going to be there. But how do you dial it down? Just a little bit and crank up that internal one a little bit more. And I would say, like, over the years of having coaches and being a coach and all of those things, it gets better. But I have to be patient and I think that that's the hardest part with the culture that we have right now. Is this instant gratification right? If I post something on social media, it's like like, like, like you know, and so you get that instant, but, like, with this journey, it's not like that.

Katie Bramlett: 27:56

It's not. I mean, coming home to self is to me, in my opinion, life's work. It's not. And like the funny thing is in the midst of the success of my old company and my quote unquote like healthy eating and diet and exercise plans, my internal dial was probably a two and the external dial was a 10. And if someone said, are you happy? I would have said yes, but that is not the case and it took a while for me to have to say you're going to have to really dig deeper here, katie, and see like is this really feeling good for you? And luckily, like I said, it was just a little whisper on the inside because I had turned it down so much, but it was like no, and it was so hard to break free from that because I was getting so much validation. Oh my gosh, your company made the E500 for a third time. Oh my gosh, you have this. Oh my gosh, you're just. You put so much energy into your exercise and nutrition. Like I was getting so much validation.

Katie Bramlett: 28:56

But isn't it funny that I was? And I still knew that it wasn't for me and so I had to completely detach from that identity. And it's actually funny to run into people who knew that version of me that I haven't seen in a while. We almost don't know what to talk about. I feel like they're like wait, wait, who are you? And it always reminds me of have you seen this meme on the internet where there's like a caterpillar looking at a butterfly and the caterpillar is like you've changed and the butterflies like we're supposed to, and that's OK. Yeah, and it's OK to give people permission. It's OK to change your mind about something.

Lisa Tarkington: 29:35

Yes, that's OK. And I think that that's probably one of the hardest things is when that whispers coming in and you know you have to make that change Right, because it's once you feel that, like I said earlier, it doesn't go away right away. Like, I think there are definitely moments from like no, I don't have time for that right now. Like I'm on this path, I'm getting all of these things, but when it starts to creep up, you're like OK, I need to slow down. And one of my co-workers she says it really well. She's like we need to slow down, to go fast sometimes, right, so I need to just like we all need to slow down, reflect and think.

Lisa Tarkington: 30:08

And sometimes it doesn't come right away. Sometimes things do Right. Like sometimes, when it comes to your mind, you're like OK, I know I need to make this shift, I know I need to make this change. Other times, like there was a decision I had to make and it took me since last February, so over a year, to really be OK with the decision, but I had to be OK with sitting in that for a long time which sucks sometimes, to be honest with you and I was like OK, that's kind of how it works to get to that point. And so what would you say? So, when it comes to expectations, when it comes to overcoming them, what are some tools or tips that you would give our audience on how to overcome those expectations that are put on us, around our bodies, right now?

Katie Bramlett: 30:50

I like to ask people most of us who are in this space have been in this space for decades so I just like to ask them, like, did it ever actually serve you? Did it give you what you wanted? And if you really dig deep, I don't think anyone would say, yes, you know, did it give you the peace and fulfillment and serenity you were hoping for? And if it did for a short time, did it last? And so I feel like all we're doing is the same thing wrapped in a different package, and so I'm like, if it didn't work before, keto is not going to work now, paleo is not going to work tomorrow. It's not about the diet or exercise plan, it's not. And if you're willing to get curious and sit with those hard questions and seek the truth, you have to be willing to face the truth.

Katie Bramlett: 31:42

I had to be willing to go to my co-founder, to go to the company and say this is not where I want to go. And luckily everyone was like thank you, we don't want to go here either. But they were also supportive and many of those people are still with us today in this new company. But that's hard work, but can I be honest? I feel like each path is kind of hard, like it's hard not being true to yourself, it's hard abandoning self. It's also hard to face the truth and go down a different direction. So if you know both are going to be hard, they're just go the path that's going to bring you home to you. That would be my advice.

Lisa Tarkington: 32:21

I love that and it's like choose your hard. You hear that all the time. Right, Like, choose your hard. And both are hard, but when you look back and I always, I always use the we teach a lot about passions and things like that. We always use the rocking chair mentality.

Lisa Tarkington: 32:35

If you were sitting on a rocking chair talking to your grandkids or whoever when you're on an old age, like, what do you want to? Like be able to tell them right and like, it's like about that identity and about like having that peace. And I also love to remind people that people care about you. The awards and things are awesome for a little bit, but the feeling that you're a good person, that you're being true to yourself, like that's important for a community and who you want to be. So it sounds like the action for our audience today is to really just kind of sit with us for a little bit. Think about what you need as a person. Are you on the path that you want to be at and how? What are the expectations that you're putting on yourself right now?

Katie Bramlett: 33:23

Yeah, is there a little whisper on the inside that's pulling you somewhere else? What happens if you explore that for a little bit, like, just give yourself permission to break up with the current identity that you have if it's not serving you? You know, and I guarantee you, the identity that I have today will shift and if we meet again in five years you'll be like who are you?

Lisa Tarkington: 33:44

Same here, girlfriend, same here we joke all the time. Last year I got married, new last name identity, just changed our company name a month ago. And it's so fun to think about, like all of those moments where you are like is this a good decision? Is that all of these things? And you're just like, ah, I feel so good now that I've like done these things right. It's really cool, and what I teach my coaching clients all the time is what's your next version? What's your like? 2.0, 4.0? What level are we on now? And it's fun to think about like, well, I'm working on Lisa. You know, 10.0 right now. In five years, I might be 15.0. Like what does that look like for each of us? So, katie, how will people tell us a little bit more about how we can connect with we Shape?

Katie Bramlett: 34:26

Yes, absolutely so. I actually have a special link for your listener.

Lisa Tarkington: 34:31

Oh, awesome, I'll put it in the show notes.

Katie Bramlett: 34:33

They can get a two week free trial at we Shape if they want to go to this link that I'm going to share with you right now. Now, here it is. The link that we have for everyone is weshapecom forward slash confident podcast Awesome. So if everyone wants, if anyone wants to try we Shape out for free for a few weeks, they can just go to weshapecom forward slash confident podcast for a free trial. And we're on all social platforms. We have two social handles. One is at we Shape that's focusing on all movement related stuff with Coach Tyler, our co-founder, and then the mentality side, the Feeling Lighter podcast. On all social platforms we have a bunch of clips of guests that come on that really help us evaluate if our beliefs are serving us anymore.

Lisa Tarkington: 35:19

Awesome. Well, thank you so much for being on this podcast and sharing all of this. I think we probably could have talked for another two hours about all the things, but I think that you know, at the end of the day, it's really cool to think like I teach a lot about the self confidence, self esteem, self, everything. It's the self word right. It's about choosing yourself and having that relationship with yourself. So, again, thank you for being on today and to everybody listening, and continue to spread love and kindness to everybody that you meet and have a great day. Thank you for tuning into the Confident Podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, follow the Confident Podcast on Instagram and TikTok and share it with those who might benefit. Also, if you're looking to work one-on-one with me, message and follow me on Instagram at Lisa Tarkington official. Stay confident, stay inspired and, until next time, keep striving to be the best version of yourself. Take care.