Ever felt like there was something holding you back from your dreams? Limiting beliefs are those sneaky thoughts that tell us we're not good enough, smart enough, or deserving of success. They create barriers in our lives, blocking us from opportunities and reaching our full potential. In this week’s episode of The Confident Podcast, host Lisa Tarkington shares her own story of having limiting beliefs and her journey to overcome them. Tune in for empowering tools to help you get out of the negative downward spiral and overcome self-doubt to achieve your goals!
Chapters:
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Follow The Confident Podcast on:
Host, Lisa Tarkington's Socials, Links, & Coaching:
Lead (formerly Self Love Beauty) 501(c)(3) Nonprofit:
Ever felt like there was something holding you back from your dreams? Limiting beliefs are those sneaky thoughts that tell us we're not good enough, smart enough, or deserving of success. They create barriers in our lives, blocking us from opportunities and reaching our full potential. In this week’s episode of The Confident Podcast, host Lisa Tarkington shares her own story of having limiting beliefs and her journey to overcome them. Tune in for empowering tools to help you get out of the negative downward spiral and overcome self-doubt to achieve your goals!
Chapters:
Sponsor Athletic Greens, click to order and receive a free gift!
Follow The Confident Podcast on:
Host, Lisa Tarkington's Socials, Links, & Coaching:
Lead (formerly Self Love Beauty) 501(c)(3) Nonprofit:
I remember a time where I really wanted to change a role in the company that I was in in the past and I had a leader actually put a limiting belief on me and say, like that's not the path that I have for you. I really want you to go down this path and I, instead of knowing that I could have done that other role, I listened to him and to this day, I don't I never like to use listened to him and to this day, I don't I never like to use the word regret, but to this day, I wish I would have spoken up. Welcome to the Confident Podcast. I am Lisa Tarkington, your host of this podcast. If you found yourself hitting play on this podcast, it means it was meant for you. My goal is to help empower and guide you to become a better version of yourself through conversation, advice and tips that are real, vulnerable and authentic. I am excited to have you join this journey with me. So let's get started. Hi everybody, welcome back for another episode of the Confident Podcast. I am your host, Lisa Tarkington, and we have a good episode for you guys today. Honestly, I am blown away with how many people have shared over the course of 2024 with us, what you have learned, what you have taken from our podcast and how you love the new setup. So thank you to everybody that continues to tune in, and also for just not only tuning in but utilizing the tools that we talk about and that we share. I love knowing that my story resonates with so many individuals as they tune in, but also that they're utilizing the tools, because that's the most important right. It's not only about resonating with the story, but it's about okay, now that I know that I'm not alone. What do I need to do to put action into my life to make some changes? And that's what I want for all of you. So I'm going alone. What do I need to do to put action into my life to make some changes? And that's what I want for all of you. So I'm going to share a little bit of life updates with you guys, because I always do this? 2024, I cannot believe that.
Lisa Tarkington:It's like it's springtime here in Michigan. It's kind of crazy. It's getting warm. I'm seeing moods change in a good way. People are being more positive. People are more outside my. I'm seeing moods change in a good way. People are being more positive. People are more outside. My dogs are loving it because now they can swim at any time that they want.
Lisa Tarkington:And I'm still doing the 75-day hard, which has just taught me so much more about discipline for myself and really finding that balance that works for me when it comes to work-life balance. Now, again, I'm really big on. Balance is for everybody. You define it however it works for you. But I'm finding what works for me and, interesting enough, I'm going into a meeting tonight that I have I have it every other month with some leaders and these last couple of months I was really struggling to go into those meetings. I was struggling because I had a lot of thoughts in my head, stories that I was telling myself. Honestly, I was a little mentally drained and I was thinking this morning, before I was coming in to record the podcast, about how good I feel. And I think that has a lot to do with the boundaries that I've set with my life, the 75-day hard that I'm doing, following my word of the year and just really being consistent with those areas. Now, don't get me wrong, I still have my days where I'm a little off or I look at that thing that's sitting on the floor and I'll be like I'll just do that later, but overall, I'm seeing like definitely a big change into my life because I'm choosing to make these choices and so, as you're thinking about what you still want for 2024 or just in your life in general, I love to remind people that you are in charge of it. You are in charge of your destiny and your stories and, honestly, your confidence levels, and that's something that I've really had to work on.
Lisa Tarkington:If you would have asked me a year ago on certain topics, I probably wouldn't have been the expert at it. I still wouldn't say that I am, but I'm much, much more confident in accounting financial things than what I have been in the past. Now, that's not my everyday thing, but as a business owner, you have to do those things, and what really spoke to me the other day is someone called me from my leadership team and asked me some questions and I was able to just like rattle off my answers and how I'm forecasting and all of these great things. And she just stopped and she goes wow, lisa, like I'm seeing such a difference from last year on how you've really taken the feedback that you've received and really utilizing that to become more confident. And as I was rattling it off, it just came to me, and I think that's the beauty with not giving up on things that you really want to get stronger in.
Lisa Tarkington:Now. I chose that I wanted to get stronger when it comes to financial literacy and understanding my books better and being able to articulate different decisions that I was making, and so that is something that I'm really proud of, and, as the host of a podcast that talks about confidence, I wanted to share that with you, because I think it's important for you guys to know that, while I'm the expert in certain things, I'm still growing in confidence in other areas, and so you are probably an expert in certain areas of your life, but it's okay to continue to be growing in other areas too. Now, am I putting my whole focus there? No, I'm not, but it's something that I'm continuously trying to grow in, and, as I'm seeing it, it's been probably about, I mean, five years total, but really in this last year, I've just tremendously changed, and even in the last couple of months, I've just been a lot more clear on things, and so this is your reminder to not give up on yourself when you might be struggling in a certain area that you want to become more confident in. Again, I know we don't want to be confident in everything, but if you want to become confident in an area, I highly suggest putting in the work, because when you look back, you're going to be so proud of yourself that you didn't give up on yourself. Okay, so that's my update for you guys.
Lisa Tarkington:So we are going to dive in to today's topic, and today's discussion is two words that are stopping you from reaching your goals, and we're gonna need a little drum roll for this, because the two words are limiting beliefs. They are thoughts that prevent us from reaching a goal. It's something that's holding us back from achieving our full potential and living the life that you desire. You know, when I was thinking about this episode and wanting to talk about limiting beliefs, it's because this is something that, in everything that I teach this is a common conversation that comes up with my coaching clients, with the workshops that I teach, with my keynotes and just, honestly, everyday conversations that I have with people they are literally limits that we are putting on ourselves. These are stories, these are things that we tell ourselves that creep in over time. That really stops us from achieving our goals, like I said.
Lisa Tarkington:So, when you think about a limiting belief, think about it in a way that they're creating barriers in your life, of just kind of like in front of you that's stopping you from moving forward. Not only are they stopping you from pursuing your goals, but taking risk in your life and embracing new opportunities. You know, it's so easy to talk ourselves out of things, right, and tell ourselves all of these like terrible stories in our heads which many times actually more than not they are not true, and so they can really make a big impact on our life, because it stops us from so many things that matter or should matter to us. And what that also does is, then it doesn't allow us, when we put these limiting beliefs in our minds, to get out of the cycles of self-doubt and fear. And when we're in these cycles, you can picture it as kind of like a circle just going round and round cycles. You can picture it as like kind of like a circle just going round and round, or you can picture it as kind of like a spiral of just like going downwards, right, like all of these self-doubt thoughts, all these fear-based thoughts are coming into our heads and what it's doing is causing us to have a lot of limiting beliefs about ourselves and recognizing this is like so, so critical for us to be able to break free, because it's very easy for me to just tell me all the stories in my head and just stop myself. And so some examples to give you guys of a limiting belief is I am not good enough, I do not have time to do this, I do not have the money to do this, I am not worthy of this.
Lisa Tarkington:And while those can also look at the fixed mindset versus growth mindset, a lot of the conversations and things that we tell ourselves kind of get stuck into our head and they stop us from achieving the goals that we want. And it also stems sometimes from past experience. So we might have a limiting belief because something didn't go well at one point in our lives and it's kind of stuck in the back of our head, whether we want to admit it to ourselves or not. But then it's always coming to the forefront when something new comes up. Maybe it's a risk that you took in the past and didn't go as well, and so you have this limiting belief of like I can't do another risk, or maybe you tried out for something and you didn't make the team, or maybe you tried for a job and you didn't get the job, and so now you have all these limiting beliefs and you're not trying again. But I will tell you from my own experience that if you choose to live that way, you will never reach your full potential and I'm living proof of that.
Lisa Tarkington:I, um, I'm really big on limiting beliefs because even in the stage that I'm in in my life so I'm in the best place of my life that I've ever been when it comes to my confidence is limiting beliefs still creep up. So I'm never going to be able to teach anybody how to never have a limiting belief about themselves, but what I'm really really big on is teaching people how to overcome when those negative beliefs come into our mind and they creep up and that self-doubt and that fear kind of like explodes in us. So I'm going to give you guys some examples of things in my life where a limiting belief stopped me from doing things into my life, how I overcame those things, and then also like things into my life now that have come full circle because I finally got over that mental mentality. So the first one is is I had a big limiting belief that I wasn't worthy of raises into my life, like there were goals that I was setting for myself, but the hindering factor in my mind, the limiting belief, was I'm never going to get that raise. And so what I did is I never asked for it. And not only that, it also probably made it very clear to my leaders at the time that I didn't want one. Sometimes we subconsciously don't even realize how we're coming off, sometimes because we're doing it all internally, but it does come off to people in a conscious way as well.
Lisa Tarkington:I remember a time where I really wanted to change a role in the company that I was in in the past and I had a leader actually put a limiting belief on me and say, like that's not the path that I have for you. I really want you to go down this path. And I, instead of knowing that I could have done that other role, I listened to him and to this day I don't I never like to use the word regret, but to this day I wish I would have spoken up. I wish I wouldn't have allowed his limiting thoughts and beliefs about myself to really take control, because I listened to him and I called up the leader that I was going to go work for and I said my leader doesn't think that I can do it, so I don't think I'm going to either. And she was pretty shocked by that. She was pretty disappointed and I was disappointed in myself. But I allowed someone else's voice and then I allowed my own self to do that to myself voice and then I allowed my own self to do that to myself.
Lisa Tarkington:Another area which is so interesting because I have grown tremendously is I remember getting feedback one year from a leader that I was a horrible speaker and that shocked me because I do. I've been speaking and being a leader in different roles for since I was in high school, middle school, and I remember getting feedback that I really needed to work on that and I was like, ok, I understand. And what he did was put a limiting belief in me that I'll never become the speaker that I want to become. And sure, I had things I had to work on when it came to be a speaker. I'm still not perfect. There's lots of things I'm still trying to learn. I'm in classes right now for speaking, but what he did was he allowed a limiting belief to come into my mind and stay there. And to this day I don't forget that. I've never forgotten that conversation because, even though he might have planted it in me, I allowed that limiting belief to stay. I'm really big on that plain victim mindset, because it's not okay to blame someone else for the thoughts that they're saying if I'm also agreeing to that story as well. So while he shared that, I started to believe that as well. He shared that I started to believe that as well.
Lisa Tarkington:I was also told that I wasn't a good writer, even though I had a blog that was growing and which is interesting, because I now know that I mix words up. I think I understand it in my brain, but it doesn't always come out that way. But that was a limiting belief of you'll never be a good writer. And I started to believe that Verse, really understanding like well, why is my writing coming off a certain way? Why am I mixing up words? Why does it not make always sense? And so, through that whole process, the goals and the dreams that I had for myself kind of just like sat there right. They just sat there. They weren't moving up, they weren't moving down, they were just kind of like on this, like shelf, and I was like is huge, is I don't just talk about it, I actually do it, and I started to do the practices of how to overcome a limiting belief. I started to put the different things into my life to overcome these things and it has tremendously changed my life.
Lisa Tarkington:When you start a company, when you leave a company to start a new company and I've shared so much about that already on this podcast before is all of the limiting beliefs creep in. Can I do this? Am I good enough? Will I fit in? Will people even want to work with me? All of these things that I had to tell myself, or I didn't have to tell myself. I told myself and I realized that it was stories that I was telling myself. It was stories I was telling myself that was stopping me from reaching a goal.
Lisa Tarkington:Back to that barrier, that thing that was kind of standing in front of me, kind of like a like seatbelts are good, but I'm gonna use this analogy of like wearing a seatbelt and just kind of being like stuck in something. The barrier was me allowing myself to be stuck and not moving forward because of limiting beliefs that I was putting on myself. These are stories that I was telling myself and sure, I had leaders tell me different things but I had to believe it at the end of the day and I was allowing all of this to creep in, causing me to have self-doubt, causing me to have fear, and I lost a lot of sleep for years over these things. I did not feel worthy. I remember waking up in sweats over all of these feelings because I had so many limiting beliefs and self-doubt coming into my body and creeping in.
Lisa Tarkington:But when I did the practices which I'm gonna teach you guys, some here in a second, is when I started to add these things into my life. I can't even tell you, like how my life has changed in the most beautiful way, because I finally know that, while these things are still going to creep in, that I have taken so many risks in my life. I've gotten out of my comfort zone more than once and everything's been okay. Now, has it always worked out the way that I like maybe envisioned? No, but I will tell you that it's always happened better than I could have ever expected.
Lisa Tarkington:I had to learn to be patient with myself. I had to learn, you know, whenever I have a goal, to really think about those limiting beliefs and how I'm going to overcome them. I had to have support systems in place to really help me, but I had to create all of these things over time, and when these limiting beliefs still come into my mind, I now can tell them that they can go somewhere else, because I have a lot more faith in myself than I ever have before and a lot more confidence. And that's what I want for all of you guys. I want you to know that you are worthy, that you are enough, that you do have the money to do this, or you'll get there, or you do have the time if you want to make the time for it, or you are strong enough, smart enough, kind enough all of these things that we tell ourselves in the stories. Going back to the leader that told me that I was a terrible speaker, if I would have believed that, I would never be where I am today I'm speaking to you guys right here on a podcast. If I would have believed that I wasn't a good writer, I never would have looked at like well, I want to grow in these areas. What do I need to do? What are my hindering factors that might stop me from doing that? And so today I'm going to spend some time with you guys to teach you how to overcome a limiting belief when it comes into your mind.
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Lisa Tarkington:As a host of this podcast, I wear many other hats, including an ACC coach, which stands for Associate Certified Coach through the International Coaching Federation. I have gone through extensive learning and have been coaching individuals for years. I have had a front row seat at watching people transform, grow in their careers, take control of their careers and become intentional, gain confidence and more. Take control of their careers and become intentional, gain confidence and more. I believe in the transformative power of self-discovery and personal and professional growth. If you are ready to grow either in your personal or professional life, break through limiting beliefs and step into a life of confidence, I would love to support you. As a certified coach through ICF, I have the knowledge and expertise to coach you and help guide you on your journey. To work directly with me, visit lisatarkingtoncom slash coaching Again. That is lisatarkingtoncom slash coaching, to sign up for your free consultation. I cannot wait to help you become a better version of yourself.
Lisa Tarkington:Now, if you've listened to past episodes, I've talked a lot about how to overcome self-doubt, how to overcome those negative beliefs about ourselves, so I want you to go check out those episodes too, because they are full of amazing information. I will link those into the show notes as well, because those are things that I will say. I put a lot of work into those episodes because I wanted to make sure that you had the best tools to help you with those things. But when it comes to eliminating belief, I'm actually going to have this activity, and so if you are sitting down listening, I want you to do this activity as I'm speaking. If you're driving or multitasking or whatever, I just want you to listen to it. You can do this activity later, however. It works for you. But this is one of my favorite things to teach and, honestly, when I teach this, the room just lights up because it finally clicks with them of what is happening when a limiting belief comes up.
Lisa Tarkington:So, first, what I want you to do is think about your goals for the future, and we're going to talk out three years out. And so what I'm always big on is grabbing a blank sheet of paper and drawing at least three to five different pictures on it. So, yes, pictures, guys. I want you to actually draw it, not write it yet, and I want you to picture your life in three years. Where do you want to be? Maybe you want to be in a new role, so maybe you're drawing yourself in a new role. Maybe you want to graduate from college, so you're drawing yourself in college. Maybe you want to become a parent. Maybe you just want to have a little bit more financial stability. Maybe, honestly, you just want to become a little bit healthier. It doesn't have to be major, life-changing things, but it can be like the steady pace, and maybe you just want to be as happy as you are today.
Lisa Tarkington:And what I want you to do is draw those things. I want you to draw them because drawing changes a little bit of our mindset. Research shows it. It kind of gets us out of just writing things down, and so, even if you can't write right now, I want you to, or draw right now. I want you to envision it, because visualizing our future is such a game changer.
Lisa Tarkington:And so then, after you draw three to five things. All I want you to do is, if you drew more than five or, I'm sorry, more than three, I want you to circle three of them. Just circle your top three things that you want your life to be like in three years, and then what I want you to do is write down those three goals. So you're just going to write them in order I want to graduate from college. I want to move on to a role doing X. I want to continue to be as happy as I am today. I want to build a life with my partner, however that looks like, but I want them to be tangible things. Okay, so pause this if you are still writing. If you're not, you can keep listening and you can continue to envision as well.
Lisa Tarkington:But then what I want you to do next is, next to each goal, right next to each one, I want you to write down the hindering factor or limiting belief that might stop you from reaching that goal. So I want you to think about that. What are those things that might stop you from reaching that goal? So I want you to think about that. What are those things that might stop you from reaching your goal, and maybe that is your grades for college or not having enough money, or maybe for a new job. It's that you don't have time to look for a new job or you don't think that you can get that job that you're dreaming of, whatever is coming up for you, and I want you to write that down.
Lisa Tarkington:And now I want you to picture your life three years. You're there. All the goals that you wrote down have happened. You're standing there and you're looking around and being like wow, my life is what I've wanted, what I've worked for. These are the goals that I set in place. And I want you to think about okay, I'm here, so I had to have overcame those limiting beliefs that I wrote down on this sheet of paper. So now I want you to write down again next to that goal and hindering factor, in kind of like a third column how did you overcome that? I want you to think about how did you overcome that limiting belief to reach that goal? And I want you to write down. Maybe you'll have one or two things, but I want you to think about it for each one, and this is an activity that I love to teach, because not only does it make us think about the goals that we have, makes us think about the hindering factors, those limiting beliefs.
Lisa Tarkington:But the most important thing is visualizing us, overcoming that limiting belief and what are the steps that I took to do that? Because it's up to us, and every time I teach this activity, every time I do any of these things, one of the biggest things I hear is time and money, time and money, time and money. And so I love to pause and remind people that, yes, time and money are the ones that we hear the most when it comes to limiting beliefs or stories that we tell ourselves. But when we can think about, well, how am I going to overcome that, to achieve my goal, is kind of like the next step. And so, as you guys are thinking about these things, I want you to do these activities and, as a limiting belief comes into your life, I want you to pull out that sheet of paper and do these activities or make a mental note and think about, well, what are the steps I'm going to do to overcome that?
Lisa Tarkington:If I had not done these activities in my life, I can tell you right now I wouldn't be sitting here talking to you guys. I would have allowed all those limiting beliefs to not let me meet my goals, reach my full potential. And sure, maybe I would have met some things along the way, but they wouldn't have been as awesome as they are now because I allowed those thoughts to creep in. So when we think about a limiting belief, I want you to identify the belief that's coming up. I want you to think about, ok, wow, and stop and realize OK, this is a limiting belief I'm telling myself and it's holding me back from reaching my goal. So I want you to pay attention to the negative thoughts and the self-talk that we're telling ourselves. And then I want you to challenge that belief. Ask yourself questions like is this true? What do I need to notice about what I'm telling myself to make decisions? I remember I had a limiting belief a couple of months ago. Again, they still creep in and I had to ask myself after I did the activity well, what is true? Ok, like this isn't true. These are stories that I'm telling myself.
Lisa Tarkington:And then the next step is taking action, because we have to build our confidence to know that, hey, I want this goal. So it's going to take time. Right, like my writing, I had to grow in different areas, to believe in myself and to improve in these areas. And so it might not happen overnight, right, like it's going to take time. That's why, when I do these activities, I plan out three years, because there's going to be ups and flows into our lives, ups and downs. We're going to have positive, we're going to have negative and life changes, right.
Lisa Tarkington:But if we can stay the course and remind ourselves like, well, I know how I'm going to overcome these limiting beliefs, that is action. That's simple for us, so that we can carry that through to overcome those limiting beliefs. So, again, like I said, limiting beliefs are always going to creep up, just like our negative thoughts, emotions or anything in between. But the more that we can focus on how we're going to overcome those and then put that into practice, I promise you it gets easier. It gets easier to take those risks that you want. It makes it easier for you to achieve your goals and, at the end of the day, that is what I want for each and every one of you, because it is so, so important for us to realize that we are in charge of how we overcome those limiting beliefs.
Lisa Tarkington:Again, the limiting beliefs are limits that we put on ourselves. And so when you guys are thinking about, well, what do I want for my life and how am I going to reach my full potential, when I have these thoughts in my head, I want you to pull up this episode or write down anything that you learned today and think about like I got this. And then, at the end of the day too, I want you to give yourself that pep talk. Sometimes we can get pep talks from other people my friends are great at it but sometimes I have to give myself that pep talk that you will overcome this thought. You will overcome this because you have before. And so, to close out, today I really want you to think about what are the limiting beliefs that are stopping you from reaching your goals, and I really challenge you to take some time to engage in this activity, because it is a game changer, to really reflect and really think about how limiting beliefs are stopping us.
Lisa Tarkington:And if you've been following my journey and following my nonprofit, we have some great things coming up that I think would be great for all of you to tune into. So, if you have not heard, we have an upcoming Affirmation Day happening in May of 2024. It is a free event. It's all about spreading positivity, and so in the show notes there is a link to our free toolkit, so all you have to do is sign up right now. We are almost to our goal. We want 50,000 people to participate, and so we would love for you to participate with us. Not only that, but we also will put a link in the show notes for you guys.
Lisa Tarkington:We are launching a digital platform here in a couple of months, and we want to make sure that you guys get a sneak preview at what this looks like and how you can embed this into your life. We want to make sure that everything that we're teaching on the podcast and all the tools are also easy access for all of you guys, and so we want everybody to have the best life that they could possibly have, but also have the tools to make sure that's possible. So, again, I'm here. However you guys need me. I always put my email address and my social media outlets as well on the show notes, because we wanna make sure that all of you guys know that you are supported.
Lisa Tarkington:So, again, continue to spread love and kindness to everybody that you meet and have a great day. Thank you for tuning into the Confident Podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, follow the Confident Podcast on Instagram and TikTok and share it with those who might benefit. Also, if you are looking to work one-on-one with me, message and follow me on Instagram at LisaTarkingtonOfficial. Stay confident, stay inspired and until next time, keep striving to be the best version of yourself. Take care.