EP 156: Uncover Your Purpose and Live Your True Potential

 Join host Lisa Tarkington in this week's episode of The Confident Podcast for a conversation on how to uncover your purpose and live out your true potential! Lisa opens up about her own journey, offering relatable and valuable insights to help guide you. You will gain a deeper understanding of purpose and learn actionable strategies to identify your own. Don't miss out on this episode that empowers you to uncover your limitless potential!

Chapters:

• 0:00 - Finding Purpose in Life and Change
• 7:08 - Living Out Your Purpose
• 17:44 - Lisa's Purpose Statement
• 20:46 - Questions to Ask Yourself
• 27:45 - Key Takeaways & Outro

Transcript

Lisa Tarkington: 0:00

Purpose is really the reason or the why behind what we do. Mainly, it's the contribution that we want to make to other people, and so, as Mark Twain says, the two most important days in your life are the days you are born and the day that you find out why. And I think about that quote a lot, because finding your purpose is not always easy. Heck, there's still a lot of people in all generations trying to find it, but when you don't have purpose in your life, it's easy to feel lost. Welcome to the Confident Podcast. I am Lisa Targinton, your host of this podcast. If you found yourself hitting play on this podcast, it means it was meant for you. My goal is to help empower and guide you to become a better version of yourself through conversation, advice and tips that are real, vulnerable and authentic. I am excited to have you join this journey with me. So let's get started. Hey everybody, welcome back for another episode of the Confident Podcast. I am your host, lisa Tarkington, and we have a great episode ahead of us today. So we are going to be talking about why you should even have a purpose. What is purpose? How to find your purpose, what it's like when you don't have purpose, and I'm also going to be sharing some personal stories about the times in my life when I didn't have purpose and how finding it has really changed my life. So, before we dive into today's episode, I always give you guys an update on where I am in my life, what's going on, kind of giving you the 411. And I have some really great news for you guys. So I think a couple of episodes ago or a lot last year I don't wanna call myself lost, because it wasn't that it was more so lots of ups and downs in the entrepreneurial world, lots of learnings, lots of what do I want to be when I grow up? How am I going to do more speaking and coaching and all of these great things into my life.

Lisa Tarkington: 1:56

I was really building out this episode and when I ever give you guys updates, I always want to be real. I always want to be honest with you guys and it felt really good to say to myself that I'm in such a healthy place and I think for the last year I have been, I've been in a healthy place, but there have just been a lot of ups and downs, a lot of unknowns and recently probably within the last month I have felt a weight come off my shoulders, a weight from having teammates take on some challenges with me, not feeling as alone. Being at the top of a company. Entrepreneurship can kind of sometimes be lonely, and so it's been really cool to not feel that way as much as I used to. It's been really cool to not feel that way as much as I used to. I'm sure that I will still have those feelings, but it also feels really good right now to be in a place where I don't know a lot of things that could be coming up in the future, but I'm really more okay with it than I ever have been before.

Lisa Tarkington: 3:01

So a lot of the risks that I have to take I've taken, have been before. So a lot of the risks that I have to take I've taken, and I know that I'm going to have to take more in my life and in my career, and so it's exciting to know that all of the tools that I teach on this podcast, everything that we talk about, I embody. I never talk about something that I'm not embodying in myself or when we have a guest on. I'm always trying to learn just as much as I'm trying to teach you as well, and so we're in this together. So when I say I'm in a healthy place, lots have happened. So I said like the weights have just been off my shoulders. I think a lot of it, too, is the validation of what I thought I needed from external people. I don't always need anymore, and I think it was just again that self-awareness of wow, I'm having these cycles into my brain, how am I going to overcome them? And we talked about those on some past episodes as well.

Lisa Tarkington: 3:51

I closed down one of my businesses. So I owned a company called Blue Wave Wellbeing for four or five years and my business partner and I decided to close down. We are both in new chapters in our lives and it was so beautiful how we did it. We have had conversations, we hadn't been doing anything with the business for a while and we both knew that it was time. And when she called me to let me know, like, hey, we have to pay, some things coming up. Do we want to keep this going or do we both feeling right now, this chapter needs to be closed? And we both just agreed and, honestly, it was the most beautiful thing. She's one of my best friends in the world. It was left on good terms and new opportunities, and we just made that moment when we had to close everything a very sacred moment.

Lisa Tarkington: 4:34

And so, just know, sometimes when you have to close doors, they don't always have to be sad. I look at that moment as thinking about all the opportunities that are coming up, and when we were talking about that, I'm like, hmm, why now? Why do we both want to do this? And I was sharing some things with her, of some upcoming things that are happening in my nonprofit lead and some things that are happening in my coaching and my speaking career, and we both got chills and I just said I think that this door had to close so that all our ones could open and so that I could even make space in my head to focus all of these things. And so if you're ever feeling like in your life like I don't, I'm not sure, I'm not not sure what I want to do there, it's okay to sit on it for a while. We sat on it for about six months before we actually made the call, but it was such a peaceful thing, and so I'm really glad that we we took the time to really think about this before we explored that this is where we needed to go, and so it's very exciting to know what's on the horizon for me.

Lisa Tarkington: 5:32

And I think the other thing that I've been learning a lot is to evolve with change, like in your 20s. Take risks, do all of these things, because if you don't learn at a young age that change is always going to happen, you're never gonna be able to continue to pivot through change. And as I was listening to her say that, I thought about all of the change my life has had since probably graduating from high school, and some of the change has been small, some of it's been big. But just knowing that you're always gonna have to evolve through change Sometimes it's scary, sometimes it's very happy, sometimes it's sad, but it's also knowing like, hey, it's going to happen, and so how am I going to evolve with it? And I'm just really proud of myself, of how I've handled change. The last year I got engaged, I had to plan a wedding. I got married, I lost some people on my team, I gained some new people on my team, and we're just continuously evolving. Oh, and I rebranded my whole company, and so there's been a lot of change happening. And so when you're going through change. We've talked about this on the podcast too of like, how do you stay true to yourself and your needs, and it's just really, really relieving to know that that's what I've done for myself. And so those are my 411 updates for you guys on my life. I love sharing those things and I hope that it resonates and helps you know that you can take risks too and that you are so worthy of all of the things in your life that you are working towards.

Lisa Tarkington: 7:08

So purpose that's our topic for today. The reason that this is really coming up is because a lot of times I hear from people and I was in the car the other day with someone that said you know, lisa, I'm really jealous that you're living out your purpose. I wish my career, I was living out my purpose, jealous that you're living out your purpose, I wish my career, I was living out my purpose. And so what I realized in that moment is sometimes we don't always live out our purpose right, like I think. Sometimes I have that assumption that you know, because I found my purpose, that other people have, but at the same time, I'm always teaching and coaching people to find their purpose, and I remember my friend saying that to me, and so we had a long discussion about like, well, why aren't you? What is your purpose? What do you think it is? And sometimes we think this purpose means that our career has to be all revolved around that, but in reality we can embed it in different areas into our lives, and so we'll dive into that here in a second.

Lisa Tarkington: 8:00

But I wanted to share a story that happened actually yesterday that really made me think even more about the conversation of purpose. And so I'm part of an organization. It's a women organization in the town that I live in, and I will say I was invited I'm one of the youngest individuals to be part of it. So I have all of these generations of mature individuals that I get to look up to and learn from and we celebrated a woman. It was 60 years of her being part of this organization. Mind you, that means that she wasn't 60 years old. She was around, probably in her 90s and we wanted to celebrate her and we wanted to surprise her for 60 years of being part of this organization. So her favorite colors are green and yellow, and we all showed up wearing those colors and we all were asked to give her a yellow rose with a story about her. Now, I've never met this woman and so I was a little intimidated about how am I going. I don't know this woman. What am I going to say to her?

Lisa Tarkington: 9:06

And as people were sharing their stories, I got very emotional. The stories that they were saying is because of you, I'm doing X with my life. Because of you, we have these things in our city that you fought so hard for. Because of your confidence and your belief in yourself, you changed how a company was running for the better, and all of these women shared stories of how this one woman changed their lives, and it made me emotional because her purpose was really to use her gifts and her talents to have that voice and to inspire and shape the next generation. Her purpose she lived out every day, and that didn't always look like her career, but maybe some boards that she sat on nonprofit boards or maybe even for-profit boards. It was how she treated people, and people were sharing that whenever they were new to something, she was the first person that called and said what do you need? How can I support you? She was the first person to pick them up for their first meetings when they first started at this organization and it just blew me away.

Lisa Tarkington: 10:18

And back to. Why I got emotional is because she is the trailblazer of why I have a voice. She's the reason why I get to sit at some tables that I might not have before, and she's someone that I aspire to be like. So everything that she's been doing over the course of her life still is inspiring people, and I think that that was so beautiful because I left there and I took a time, took a moment to reflect, and I was so honored that I got to hear all of these stories and also tell her thank you for doing this for all of us. But it made me want to dive deeper into my purpose, because I want to make a mark just as much as she's made a mark on people. That was just kind of like fire or fuel to my fire, I would say, which was really beautiful.

Lisa Tarkington: 11:08

And so, as you're listening to this, you might be even wondering well, what is a purpose? Why is it even important? And purpose is really the reason or the why behind what we do. Mainly, it's the contribution that we want to make to other people, and so, as Mark Twain says, the two most important days in your life are the days you are born and the day that you find out why. And I think about that quote a lot, because finding your purpose is not always easy. Heck, there's still a lot of people in all generations trying to find it.

Lisa Tarkington: 11:44

But when you don't have purpose in your life, it's easy to feel lost. Um, you can lack direction and motivation and you're more likely to have depression sink in. Relationships can get strained because you're just kind of in like not a good mental place and truly it's hard to get out of bed in the morning because you're thinking, well, what's the point? But I'll tell you guys, on the flip side, it's really, it's pretty beautiful when you want to jump out of bed in the morning because you have a purpose. Now, don't get me wrong, there are days where I still want to sleep in, but I know that there's purposes that I have and want to live out. You become more excited and motivated in your life. Your happiness grows. Relationships get stronger because you're also hanging out with people that have maybe a similar purpose or maybe you're living that out. You're more productive because you're excited, because you're moving forward in something, and so much more, and so that is the hope that I have for all of you guys today. So really, the objective of this podcast today is to teach you about purpose, to help you know that it is so important to have a purpose.

Lisa Tarkington: 12:55

It was really cool the other day. I'm very close to my little brother, really close to him, and I just adore him and I'm just so proud of him, and he texted me the other day about I shouldn't even say it was another day, it was a couple months ago and we were talking about purpose and finding it and the difference between having a career and having a purpose. You know and what does that mean, and it was really cool for him to start to understand that you can have a career in a certain field that makes some money, but that doesn't always mean that you're living out that purpose through that career. Now, I'm blessed that that's how I'm living out my purpose, but it also can be the impact that you want to make on people. Maybe that's through volunteering, maybe through that's a variety of different things. And I remember getting a text from him because this is something that he'd been working on a while. I sent him a lot of information, as all sisters do. I had to really help him and I got a text that was like hey, lisa, I think I found my purpose and we had a whole conversation about it and I think he's getting closer and closer to what that looks like for him, because it's very easy to get broad with your purpose and then also starting to align it to different areas of your life. But it was really cool to hear that from him and I got chills when we were talking, because there is something beautiful about someone realizing that they found their purpose. There is something beautiful about someone realizing that they found their purpose because then that's the moment that they know why they're here and what's the impact that they want to make.

Lisa Tarkington: 14:21

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Lisa Tarkington: 14:46

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Lisa Tarkington: 15:17

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Lisa Tarkington: 15:49

As a host of this podcast, I wear many other hats, including an ACC coach, which stands for Associate Certified Coach, through the International Coaching Federation. I have gone through extensive learning and have been coaching individuals for years. I have had a front row seat at watching people transform, grow in their careers, take control of their careers and become intentional, gain confidence and more. I believe in the transformative power of self-discovery and personal and professional growth. If you are ready to grow either in your personal or professional life, break through limiting beliefs and step into a life of confidence, I would love to support you. As a certified coach through ICF, I have the knowledge and expertise to coach you and help guide you on your journey. To work directly with me, visit lisatarkingtoncom slash coaching Again that is lisatarkingtoncom slash coaching to sign up for your free consultation. I cannot wait to help you become a better version of yourself.

Lisa Tarkington: 16:51

So I'll be honest, at a really young age I didn't always know what purpose. I didn't really understand my purpose. I knew that I was meant for something and I remember at a young age I was always helping people with things. But I didn't really relate that to purpose at all. But people would always tell me what I'm good at. People would point out things about oh Lisa, you're kind, you're really good at this and you're really good at that. They would tell me, kind of like their aspirations that maybe they had for me. But I really never sat down and really thought about well, what is my actual purpose. And there were moments in my life where I was working the job, I was doing all the things I was volunteering, I was trying to do good, but it really I still didn't know, like well, what is my purpose. And I just kept thinking it was to help people. Like that's what I just kept saying, like help people, but I didn't understand, like, what that actually meant for me.

Lisa Tarkington: 17:44

And there were moments in my life where I didn't allow myself to really live out my purpose and when I was not doing that, I was filling that void with unhealthy relationships. I shopped a ton because I was filling a void. So you saw my closet then I think I had three closets full of clothes, just because I was trying to fill some void. And of course, I was buying other things and quote unquote treats for myself. First, looking internally and really working here and saying, like, okay, if I really want to be happy, I need to find my purpose.

Lisa Tarkington: 18:19

And I remember and I'm going to share this story with you guys I remember the day that I found my purpose. I remember all of these moments, but that still didn't mean that it made sense to me right away, right? So, for example, I really think for me, the first time that I found my purpose was standing on a stage and I can remember exactly what I was wearing that day and I remember my audience was not huge and I got off that stage and I was smiling ear to ear and I realized my purpose was to use my gifts of speaking to help other people and I'll dive into my purpose statement here in a little bit. But I realized in that moment that I just wanted to speak to individuals. I wanted to help them reach their full potential and at that moment I thought it was really cool how I felt. I remember that energy just coming through my bones, how I felt. I remember that energy just coming through my bones and I don't know, I just like turned on to high speed that day and was just in such a good mood. And I remember the feeling it was when I got the phone calls after from individuals who resonated with what I had to say and I still stay in contact with many of them to hear how they're growing. Many of them are my friends now and that really showed me what my purpose was.

Lisa Tarkington: 19:36

But just because I knew it in that moment didn't mean that I got to drop everything and become a professional speaker, right, like I had to go back to the workplace. I had to go back to all of these different things and I really thought for a long time purpose meant that, like you, were doing it every day, and I agree that to some term Actually, I do agree with that but I also think that it doesn't mean that you have to change your career, that you have to do all of these things. But that's what I thought about in the moment. I said well, I'm going back to my corporate job. How am I going to keep doing this? Because I thought my purpose of using my gifts for speaking to help people meant that I had to be on a stage speaking. But what I realized and what I learned over the years is, when you have your purpose, it should be in every aspect of your life. It should be how are you utilizing your talents, your skills, your strengths, all of? I'll be honest I think we have talked about this on the podcast a few times how my ego has gotten in the way sometimes. So again, I thought my purpose was only on the stages, helping people, and so I had to let my ego go aside for a little bit to look at the big picture, like, ok, my purpose is to help people reach their full potential.

Lisa Tarkington: 20:57

How I use my gifts of speaking can happen in a variety of ways. It can happen in one-on-one, it can happen in a variety of different ways, and so I want to share with you guys my purpose statement, to get started, before we dive into helping you find your purpose. So, in full, my purpose statement is to use my gifts of speaking to help others so that they have the ability to reach their full potential. So what that means is using my gifts of speaking to help others so that they have the ability to reach their full potential. So what that means is using my gifts of speaking to help others, point blank. That is the skill and the tool that I wanna bring to people. And again, what I said, I can do that one-on-one, I can do that pro bono. I can do that paid. I can do that through just being a leader. It's how I'm doing this. And so once you kind of get out all these pictures of how it has to happen and allow yourself to kind of be like, okay, it can happen in all these other ways, it's pretty cool and it feels really good to share that purpose statement with you guys because I've been working on it since 2019.

Lisa Tarkington: 21:57

I have been trying to grow in this space and really believe that myself or before I think I had five different purpose statements but what I realized is there was one thing that really mattered and it continued to kind of evolve and change over time, as we do as humans, and I shared that in the beginning. But one thing's remained the same is that I wanted to use my gifts of speaking and I wanted to help people reach their full potential. So we got to help you guys find your purpose, and maybe you already know it and maybe you just haven't said it out loud or maybe you're thinking about what that looks like for you. But the biggest thing for me is, whenever you're thinking about building out your purpose or what that looks like, what's your why in life, maybe even building out a purpose statement, like I did you have to uncover what are your top core values, because your purpose has to align to your core values, because if you're going to live out these certain values and your purpose statement is not aligning to it, you will never be able to do both.

Lisa Tarkington: 22:56

So you need to make sure, first, what are my core values, what are my top three core values? And then, secondly, you have to understand a few different things. You have to think about, well, what motivates you, what energizes you, what are your competencies? So, again, what are your skills? And then thinking about what brings you alive. So for me, kind of going back to mine as the example, I realized that my skill is really speaking, and that's a talent that I have. It motivates me to help, want to make people reach their full potential. It energizes me to be able to speak about different topics that I'm an expert in, and so when you can start to uncover those things about yourself, it is truly remarkable to really help you find your purpose. And so purpose is often uncovered and discovered one step at a time. So I want you to know that you might not have it all figured out tomorrow, but it's about understanding yourself more, it's becoming curious, it's noticing well, what does bring me alive? What are these things that I need to do to discover my purpose? And so I'm going to give you guys a list of different questions to maybe reflect on or you can write down however you kind of think when you're processing things. So here's some questions for you to consider.

Lisa Tarkington: 24:11

So what is your source of meaning? So what does that look like for you? What are your lived values? Again, what are your core values? What are your strengths? What did you love to do or explore as a young child?

Lisa Tarkington: 24:28

And I love this question because for me, that's come up a lot recently with my purpose, what lights you up in life? And then, what do you want your legacy to be? The other day I was teaching some students and I had them all picture themselves in a rocking chair and I said what do you want people to know about you? And for me, it really goes back to my purpose, that I use my gifts to help people reach their full potential. And so think about what you want to be known for. What's that legacy that you want to leave? How do you want to live out your purpose every day? Because I get to right, but it doesn't always look the same. So I'm not going on a stage today to teach or speak, but I'm finding other ways to use my gifts in order to help people reach their full potential.

Lisa Tarkington: 25:17

So when you start on something and when you start to think about these things, I also want you to know that it's really powerful when you create that purpose statement, like I have. It's simple but so effective and it's through my whole life. And if you want to dive more into this, we are launching a platform on May 2nd and you all will receive a promo code to check it out. But in there we will have step-by-step activities for you to grow and build out your purpose statement and dive into this conversation even further. But I have to share with you guys someone that I admire so much is Simon Simic and he has created a purpose statement formula that I absolutely love. It's a very easy, simple sentence, just like mine, that really shares your why, your aim, your overarching aim in life, and so he always shares that.

Lisa Tarkington: 26:10

Your purpose statement has two parts, just like mine does, and just kind of what I shared and I keep going back to mine to just kind of show you guys the example. But the first part is really sharing out like the action, like the why that you want, and then the second part really states the ultimate strive to achieve. So for me, again, the impact that you want to make. So, again, in the beginning, it's the action that I want to take, which is using my gifts of speaking, and then the impact that I want to make is to help people reach their full potential. So we all have unique skills and talents that we provide this world. We all are uniquely built. We are all worthy of living out our purpose.

Lisa Tarkington: 26:51

And more than ever, especially in today, I hear the longing for people to reach their purpose or to find their purpose, and it's going to look different for everybody. So you hear mine because I'm a speaker. That's what I do and so it's very straightforward for me. But it wasn't always that way for me. It was years of trying to figure it out. What do I want to be when I grow up? It's quote unquote, I always say. But I promise you that when you start to I would say unravel what your purpose is and you start living it out. It is so freeing, it is so beautiful and I'm thinking in my mind of all of these people in my life Ooh, I just got chills People in my life that live out their purpose and I watch them smile and I watch them get through tough days a little bit easier. And it's beautiful when we get to see people light up and when you're living out your purpose and you're really building into your skills and your talents, your confidence will shine. And so if you are struggling with confidence yourself, I really recommend trying to figure out what your purpose is and know that I am along with you on this whole journey to make sure that you can have this in your life to really help you grow. Heck, I actually have mine on an index card at my office at home that sits right by my computer, so I'm reminded every day. I used to have it I don't as much anymore because I don't need it as much, because I know it by heart but I used to have it in my car console too, and so before I would go and do a presentation or do something that day, it was a reminder for me. So, again, adding these things into your life. Of course, as you guys know, I love adding tools that really are effective for you. So, again, I want you to know your why and your purpose, because it is going to be a life changing experience for you when you do so.

Lisa Tarkington: 28:42

Kind of wrapping up today we've talked a lot about the purpose. I shared some stories with you guys, but I wanted to share, if you haven't already signed up. My nonprofit, lead, is doing a free affirmation day coming up on May 7th. We have a free toolkit for anybody to grab. It teaches you all about how to add affirmations into your life, your home, your business, and what we're asking people to do is sign up and really spread positivity that day. Right now, we have 32,000 people that are participating in it and our goal is 50,000 people. We would love to have you be part of it. So, again in the show notes, check out the link. It's a free toolkit, it does not cost a dime and I really want you to take an opportunity to check it out and be part of that.

Lisa Tarkington: 29:27

And one other piece that I wanted to share with you is that on May 2nd, we are launching our digital platform, which is called Lead Within. So it is a platform that all of the topics that I talk about and teach are going to be a deep dive into, a platform for parents, for teens and for adults, so that we can all grow together around our confidence, self-esteem, leadership and many, many more topics. So check it out. It's going to provide you with access 24-7 and to really help you grow as a person. So, as I always say in these podcasts. Continue to spread love and kindness to everybody that you meet, and I hope you have a great day. Thank you for tuning into the Confident Podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, follow the Confident Podcast on Instagram and TikTok and share it with those who might benefit. Also, if you are looking to work one-on-one with me, message and follow me on Instagram at LisaTarkingtonOfficial. Stay confident, stay inspired and until next time, keep striving to be the best version of yourself. Take care.