EP 161: How to Personalize Your Confidence Journey

Imagine you have a personalized toolbox for you to pull out tools specifically designed for you and your confidence. Confidence is a journey that ups and flows differently for everyone. In this podcast, we love giving different perspectives and tips to help you…but it is important to understand how to take these things and do what is best for YOU. Today’s episode is all about how to personalize your confidence journey so that it works for you. Let’s dive into how to take these tips to apply to your life and make it your own!

Chapters:

• 0:00 - Intro
• 3:13 - Personalizing Your Confidence Journey
• 6:53 - Identifying Your Personal Needs
• 17:00 - Understanding Your Strengths
• 27:07 - Key Takeaways & Outro

Transcript

Lisa: 0:00

When we focus on one thing, we get to see success come in that space. When we are trying to do 20 different things at one time, we're doing everything. Okay, welcome to the Confident Podcast. I am Lisa Targinton, your host of this podcast. If you found yourself hitting play on this podcast, it means it was meant for you. My goal is to help, empower and guide you to become a better version of yourself through conversation, advice and tips that are real, vulnerable and authentic. I am excited to have you join this journey with me, so let's get started.

Lisa: 0:35

Hey everybody, welcome back for another episode of the Confident Podcast. I am your host, lisa Tarkington, and I am so excited to be sitting in this seat with you guys talking about my favorite subject of confidence. Today is really going to be about how to personalize your confidence journey so that it works for you, and this topic really came to me because everything that I teach, I teach tools, I teach resources, I teach all of these amazing things that help people gain confidence, grow in their leadership, gain skills around well-being, and what I want for everything that I teach is for people to then take it, take this tool and integrate into their lives, for it to work for them. Now, I know confidence has many ups and downs, it has many flows, and I have my hand kind of like in a wave, because some days we have good days, some days we have bad days, and it just kind of like in a wave because some days we have good days, some days we have bad days, and it just kind of like flows a little bit. And the other thing when it comes to confidence is everybody is different, everybody's confidence, everything that people want to grow in with, whether it's a certain skill or a certain talent, it could be even that they want to grow in self-esteem and how they perceive their worth. We all have a different thing that we're probably focusing on, a different goal that we have, and that is the beauty is that we are all unique and we are all different and we are all on this journey together. So when we think about all of these things again, like confidence is really believing in your skills and talents. And it's so amazing when it comes to this podcast, because I love that you get to hear different people's perspectives. We get to have guests on the show. You guys get to hear my journey, which I'm very open about. I get to share different stories about people that I get to see and chat with and their stories, and then I also get to give you tips and tricks. But back to the point of, what I want for all of you is to then take all of this, absorb it and think about how do I apply this to my life, for it to work for me.

Lisa: 2:27

When I was going through before I was really on my confidence journey, I was on a journey of dieting, something I don't talk a lot about because it's not something that I'm very like love to talk about but I really like went through a phase in my early 20s where I was like I want to lose weight and I just remember perfectly. I would follow all the tips and tricks, I would do everything that all of these people said to do. I'd give up things. Honestly, I would be in such a low calorie deficiency, I would be so hungry all day, which then made me have low energy. A low calorie deficiency. I would be so hungry all day, which then made me have low energy. All of these different feelings.

Lisa: 3:13

So everything that I was told to do, I listened and I put into my life, but what I did was I did exactly what that person did to work for their body, instead of listening to what my body needed. So, instead of absorbing what I was taught and then thinking about, well, how does that apply to my life? I took everything that they said and it was like, okay, if it worked for them, it's going to work for me. And what I learned through that whole process is what I was supposed to be doing was absorbing what they were saying. Like, okay, they did this to kind of get belly fat or weight loss over here, but OK, now I know my body, I know my sleep patterns, I know when I'm hungry, I know what I need to eat after I work out and I needed to absorb it. But then really think about my own self and apply it to my own life, because what worked for someone in a specific way, the theme works for both of us, but it's how I implement it into my life and part of that journey, I'll be honest, I wouldn't have figured out, had I not started that process right Like I had to absorb some of those things. I had to get a little frustrated with it and I also had to learn a lot about myself. That's the other thing too. I had to get a little frustrated with it, and I also had to learn a lot about myself. That's the other thing too. I had to learn about my body. And I share all of that, because it's the same thing when we apply to a certain skill or topic or anything, when we're learning it, we then have to apply it to how we process it, how we need to implement it into our lives, because we all live very different lives.

Lisa: 4:43

So I heard this quote.

Lisa: 4:45

I wanted to share it with you guys because it's just so powerful.

Lisa: 4:47

Your journey is your own. Your confidence is uniquely yours. Embrace every step with pride and courage. And I share that quote with you guys because what I want you to do when we chat today about how to make your confidence journey your own, I want you to know that your journey is going to be your own and that your confidence is uniquely yours. And it's very powerful to listen to all of these different skills and to really implement into your life.

Lisa: 5:17

You know, I'm actually in a class myself right now and it's very. If you do all of these things, you will be successful at X, and I love that. Right, I'm a step-by-step person in Tell Me how to Do. The coolest thing about it is then I get to make my own, I get to take all of these steps and they obviously give you templates and things like that. So then I'm not going verbatim, word by word, but I'm taking the best of those pieces and implementing into my life. I'm taking the best of those pieces and implementing into my life. It's been really cool, but I had to understand that these are all the tools and systems and processes. How is it going to work for me and how is it going to be set up for me to be successful, and that's what I want for all of you guys.

Lisa: 5:59

So, with all of that, let's dive into personalizing your confidence journey Because, honestly, guys, it's so important because it allows you to really build that self-assurance so that you can be authentic, and also that your confidence journey is sustainable. That is huge, because I really, really believe that every tool that is taught on this podcast is going to help you have your confidence be sustainable. So, back when I said earlier about confidence has ups and downs, believe that every tool that is taught on this podcast is going to help you have your confidence be sustainable. So back when I said earlier about confidence has ups and downs. I did like kind of like an up high and up low kind of like wave. What I want for you guys is to have these like minor ups and downs, but that's taking the tools that we teach you and implementing into your life. Testing things out, utilizing them and seeing oh, it worked here, oh it didn't work here. Yeah, that just didn't feel like something I'm interested in. That's okay.

Lisa: 6:53

The point is is imagine yourself having a toolbox. Okay, in that toolbox there is a hammer, there's nails, there are wrenches, all the tools that you could ever imagine but you're only pulling out the tools that you need when you need things. So I'm not pulling out a certain tool when I'm doing a certain activity because it probably doesn't apply to that, but I wouldn't know that maybe unless I tried or followed kind of the process and procedures. Same thing goes with confidence. So understanding where you're going to add these tools into your life and also what tools work for you or where do you need to get additional support. And all of this really really stems from us understanding who we are and our confidence journey and I wanted to share with you guys. You know I talk a lot on here about my journey, about my journey to confidence, because I cannot sit up here and talk about confidence or leadership or wellbeing or any of the topics that I talk about, if I'm not implying these into my own life, or unless I'm bringing on a guest to learn alongside of you guys.

Lisa: 7:54

And so when I really started down this path of confidence, I was trying everything right, I was listening to everything kind of like with a diet plan, but I really had to sit down and be like, ok, here are all the tools, what's going to work for me. And the minute I started to apply these tools differently into my life, or had these references, I will tell you it really changed. So much for me it's been beautiful to watch my confidence grow year to year. So much for me it's been beautiful to watch my confidence grow year to year. Also, it's really cool to see that the ups and downs are not so high, low anymore. They're very much like a small wave. And that's because I know that, it's because I'm adding these tools into my life. And this was years ago right, this was years ago when I started to apply these things.

Lisa: 8:43

But every year I customize things, I think of things differently because my life has changed and so with that you have to understand what are your personal needs. So I want to start there first. So you have to understand your personal needs by identifying what you need to become more confident. So this might be that you need clarity in certain skills, or maybe growth in certain skills that you're trying become more confident. So this might be that you need clarity in certain skills or maybe growth in certain skills that you're trying to grow in. So maybe that's where you need more confidence in. Maybe you're trying to overcome specific fears or specific limiting beliefs, or maybe you need emotional support. Whatever these are, I want you to think about like, okay, if I wanna grow in confidence in X area, what is missing? What do I need to do differently so that I can grow in these areas that I want to grow? And so you have to analyze it. You have to really understand also too, like when am I the most confident? But you also have to analyze how. When am I the least confident? And when you start to practice these things, you start to understand yourself more. That's very key when it comes to confidence is understanding yourself.

Lisa: 9:51

You have to look very inward, and I think one of the hardest things with society today is people want instant gratification. I will tell you, I do not teach instant gratification. Sure, I can teach about how to validate yourself a little bit more in affirmations, but confidence is a continuation growth professional development every single day, personal development, however you want to look at it, it's an everyday decision that you have to choose of where you're going to focus on to grow. And so, yes, there are these instant moments that can come out of it, and I love those moments Myself. I love getting that validation every now and then. Or looking at me like oh my gosh, I'm on the right path. Or I'm so glad that I didn't give up on myself. But it was because days and days and days, I was working on these things. And so, while society might teach us like okay, like five quick links to lose 10 pounds I'm just using that as the example I clicked on all of those things because I wanted those instant gratifications, I wanted those instant results.

Lisa: 10:52

But what I learned about all of the things in my journey is that there was no quick fix, that it was going to take a process, and I'm still on that journey, but I will tell you that I'm mountains higher than what I was before because of the practices that I have into my life now, and so what you first need to understand is what are your personal needs? So, out of all the tips and all the tricks that you've been taught, taking it inward and saying, okay, I need to look inward of like, where do I want to grow in my confidence? What are the skills that I need to learn? What are the support I'm going to need? And then starting to think about like, not only that, but thinking about like well, where do I actually want to grow in confidence? Because I will tell you, what I don't want for you is to think that you have to be confident in every area of your life. I can stand here and say that, or sit here and say that I definitely am not confident in all areas of my life, but I've made peace with some of that and I've also noticed areas that I want to grow in as well, and so it's a continuation of being able to pinpoint areas that you really want to grow and boost in your confidence. So, do you want to grow in public speaking? Do you want to grow in your decision making? Do you want to grow in your social interactions. It's so important to be very specific because it very much helps you be focused on. This is where I want to focus right now and again I can sit here and tell everybody here's the five different areas that you need to focus in order to grow in confidence. Yes, absolutely, I will give you these tools, but it's you looking at that one thing. So maybe you want to grow in public speaking or maybe in your decision making, or maybe your leadership. How are you going to take all of these tools and apply that to that specific area and really focus on that area?

Lisa: 12:38

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Lisa: 13:32

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Lisa: 14:04

One of the things I am most proud of is how I continue to put personal development at the forefront of my growth. I know this is something many people struggle with, because we don't always know where to start. There's almost too much information out there. It can become overwhelming and requires research to ensure credibility, I also want something that's accessible anytime and that I can pick back up where I left off. Not only has this been my personal experience, but I've had countless individuals reach out to me for resources. This is why I'm so excited to share with you Lead Within, an online membership platform created for adults, parents and teenagers.

Lisa: 14:40

It empowers adults in their personal and professional growth, guides parents to nurture resilience in their children and supports teenagers throughout transformative phases. If you are struggling with confidence, self-doubt or stress, lead Within offers practical tools. This platform has content covering a wide range of topics and interactive learning resources. With continuous updates of fresh content, your growth journey never ends. Today, we are offering you 50% off your first month of membership. This takes the cost down to just $5. So visit leadconfidentlyorg, backslash leadwithin and use the promo code podcast50. Again, that's promo code podcast50 to unlock your potential today.

Lisa: 15:25

Together, let's thrive, grow and lead with confidence. You know, I recently was watching some videos and I was hearing this guy talk about how and this might not be for everybody, but it really made me think about it is that when we focus on one thing, we get to see success come in that space. When we are trying to do 20 different things at one time, we're doing everything okay. And it really hit me because I was very much a scattered brain for years. I had all of these envisions, all of these plans I wanted to do, and the minute that I started to go deeper versus wider, I started to see success. And I share that, because I do believe that's the same with confidence. When we spread ourselves so thin of like, oh I'm going to do all of these actions, we do all of these things just a little bit okay. But imagine if we put all of our attention on one thing that we want to grow in. How beautiful that would be.

Lisa: 16:22

So maybe there's an area that you want to grow in confidence, or your leadership, or well-being. Focusing on a couple of things is way more powerful than focusing on 20 different things. The cool thing is is once you master and grow in those areas, you can layer on and continue to grow in those different areas as well. The next one is understanding that there are a lot of tests and techniques out there that can help you along your way with your confidence. So many of you guys might have taken strength finder tests before or exams. They're really cool, they're free, you can find them all just by Googling them, and we'll put some in the show notes for you guys as well, is understanding your strengths.

Lisa: 17:00

I cannot stress enough how important it is that people spend time focusing on their strengths versus their weaknesses. The minute you start to understand, well, what are my strengths, what am I good at, you get to dive a little bit deeper into those, and it's so powerful when you can see your strengths come alive, because that's where we're most likely the most confident is when we are thriving in our strengths, and I've shared this stat before. But individuals spend about 20% of their time focused on their strengths and 80% of the time focused on their weaknesses, and we have to flip that. If you're really looking to personalize your confidence journey, I want you to spend time focused on that areas that you're confident in, because it's so powerful when we do that. So there's those strength finder tests out there.

Lisa: 17:46

The other one that I find fabulous to use and I use this a lot with my coaching clients is the saboteur test, and this helps you identify things that kind of come into our brain or negative thought patterns that really are barriers for us to not reach our full potential or our confidence. So, for example, there's like a perfectionism mindset on there. There's a variety of different things and it really helps you see that you know from a scale of zero to 100, where are you on the scale of those things and when you jump over to a certain level, how that really does affect your confidence. And so, again, looking at those skills, looking at what is in my way, helps you personalize your confidence journey to be like, okay, my perfectionism mindset works a little bit over here, but it's probably not going to work over here, and then really sitting down and thinking about, like, what are the things that I need to change in order to grow in the areas that I want to grow. The other thing to think about is how do you customize things that work for you? So, for example, really investing in yourself is probably the most important thing that you can do.

Lisa: 18:51

So kind of what I was saying. For example, you can be utilizing things out there, such as the Lead Within app that we've created, which teaches you all of the tools that I talk about all the time on here Values, confidence, self-esteem, leadership, all of these amazing topics and in there you get to customize it to work for you. You get to decide well, what are my negative self-doubts and how am I going to overcome them. What are the goals that I'm going to set for myself Again, smart goals and how am I going to achieve them? All we're doing is helping you have the guiding principles and the tools and the resources to do it. So you guys have heard me say tools a lot.

Lisa: 19:32

So tools for me is really teaching you step-by-step guidelines, kind of like what I'm doing with the class that I'm in. It's teaching you step-by-step guidelines, but then you taking it and customizing it to work for you. So maybe it's sometimes I do this with my coaching clients we'll go over certain things of here's some different options that you could be doing, but the cool thing for them is then they can take that and decide yes, this will work for me or no, can we tweak it a little bit? So customizing it means that you're taking that ownership when you're filling the things out on our lead with an app and you're filling out the fillable worksheets or working on the journals, or you're working on the scripts or you're preparing for something. So you need those pep talks. They are customizable for you and I think that that is so powerful because when you tailor your practices to really focus on where you want to grow, you are so much more successful, and so it's also really cool when you customize different practices, such as mindfulness, so you can do this with intention setting, mindful listening.

Lisa: 20:34

How are you going to bring self-awareness into your life? All of these different things are very, very powerful, but they have to be tailored towards what works best for your life. Another one, like I said, is focusing on your strengths versus your weaknesses. How are you going to look at your week and focus on? Okay, this is where I'm going to focus a lot on growing to my strengths. I have to spend two hours focused on my weakness over here. That's okay, because I'm going to spend some time over here on my strengths, right? So, really looking at that.

Lisa: 21:02

The other thing that you can do to tailor practices is looking at, like, your burnout rate, like what are the things that are very much draining you or making you feel burnt out? How do you then take control of your well-being journey to really customize it so that it works for you and I've taught this so much on the podcast. But how do you let go of that ego, how do you get out of those downward spirals and those limiting beliefs to believe in yourself? So, again, figuring out things that are customizable for you so that it works for you. Everything that we're teaching you is for you to think a little bit differently, to reflect, to practice these things, to have these tools into your life. Then the cool thing is then you get to absorb it all and put down on paper or think through in your mind, or verbalize it, of how you're going to make those changes.

Lisa: 21:49

Another area that you can grow and utilize when it comes to customizing your confidence journey is leveraging technology. I've already shared the Lead Within app with you guys, or the Lead Within digital platform that we have built. Again, we have a digital code for all of you guys podcast 50 for a discount, but it is such a valuable thing because you get access to it 24-7. The other ones that I love are Journal Prompt. There's so many apps out there, but there's one literally called Journal Prompts that I use, and then I use the IAM Affirmation technology as well. It's a mobile application and it feeds me affirmations throughout the day. Those are the ones that I use the most. There are a lot of other ones out there as well. I also use Hatch for myself when I'm going to bed and in the morning as well. So, again, customizing things that work for you. When I use some of these apps, they give you so many options. Then I get to look at it and decide, well, what's going to work best for me.

Lisa: 22:51

And then it's about having accountability and support. We've talked a lot about that on here, and the more and more I teach these tools, the more I'm coaching individuals to really grow in their leadership and their confidence. I cannot tell you how valuable it is when people invest in themselves, have accountability in their households, have accountability from friends, having people check in with them. I might have already shared this on the podcast, and I think I have, but I was going through some changes and I had a friend that I just wanted her to check in with me every month for the next six months to make sure that I was following through with what I said, and she's helped me with that and I think of her a lot because I asked something so simple of her. I didn't have to ask for help, but I knew I needed it and she's helped me stay accountable. I also have a husband that keeps me accountable. I also keep a lot of people accountable through coaching, and I have a coach as well who keeps me accountable, and I'm really grateful for that, because I know that if I'm going to really do this that works for me, I have to put the things in place that are going to work best for me, which means having the right support system and accountability into my life, and all of these things are so important. So we went through a lot of these things, but they're important because they help you. They help you be authentic. They help you because they let you tailor your confidence journey so that you can have your unique strengths showcased, your values, your experiences, and you really get to be authentic.

Lisa: 24:19

Another one I shared this before, but it's about sustainability. It helps you become sustainable with your growth and your confidence. What I don't want is for the ups and downs to be so big that you have so many moments where you're laying on the ground thinking about how are you going to get forward. I want you to be able to have these tools so that you're sustainable with your growth. Resilience is another area, man. The minute that you start to get out of that comfort zone, you start to really understand where your sources of insecurity are, what things trigger you. You can put strategies into your life to really grow. It's just also very empowering when we take care of those things, when we feel empowered to reach our full potential, but it's not until we personalize our journey to really help us and with our growth, and then also it's okay if your personalized confidence journey changes. It's also important to notice that we're all going to go through seasons in our lives.

Lisa: 25:21

What I needed years ago when it came to my growth and my confidence, to what I need now is very different. Sure, the tools and the principles are very similar, but it's how I'm incorporating them to my lives is different. So it's about being relevant, the timely manner of them. So maybe you're on this path. And this kind of goes back to even what I was saying before is like, if you always follow what everybody is doing online, you're never going to be able to do what's best for you, and so what I've really seen is when I'm looking at and personalizing my confidence journey to fit for my life and the goals that I have, I'm way more successful than continuously living in what worked in the past, because it's okay for it to be agile, it's okay for it to change Again. Like I said, the principles won't change right.

Lisa: 26:06

Everything that I'm teaching you guys the principles, growth, mindset, overcoming a down world spiral, getting out of your own way all of these things are very, very powerful, but what I needed to get out of my own way two years ago is very different than what it is now. It's just applying those principles to my life now, and so what I'd love for all of you to do is really take these things and personalize your confidence journey. So I know that it takes an understanding of who you are. It takes time. It's. It's a beautiful thing, though you know, one of the coolest things and I've already said this word a few times but sustainable. It's the minute that you get to see that you're able to sustain the change. It is so powerful, and that is why I've created this podcast is to be a free resource for all of you so that you can grow in your confidence, hear different stories, learn different tools and techniques, and that's why it was so important that I talked to you guys about how to take all of the things and customize them to be personal for you.

Lisa: 27:07

It's an extremely amazing thing when you take control of your own life, because then you are setting goals that you wanna succeed at. You are setting yourself up for success and you're also setting the example, not only to yourself, but those around you. So continue to spread love and kindness to everybody that you meet, and thanks for hanging out with me today. Thank you for tuning into the Confident Podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, follow the Confident Podcast on Instagram and TikTok and share it with those who might benefit. Also, if you are looking to work one-on-one with me, message and follow me on Instagram at LisaTarkingtonOfficial. Stay confident, stay inspired and until next time, keep striving to be the best version of yourself. Take care.