Do you know what core values are or how to discover yours? Join us as we sit down with Marisa Horak Belotti, CEO of FPHorak, to discuss the importance of having core values to guide your decisions and align your goals with your true self. Tune in for a conversation that will help you define your own values and use them to transform your life and unlock your full potential!
Chapters:
Guest Marisa's Info to Connect:
Sponsor Athletic Greens, click to order and receive a free gift!
Follow The Confident Podcast on:
Host, Lisa Tarkington's Socials, Links, & Coaching:
Lead (formerly Self Love Beauty) 501(c)(3) Nonprofit:
Do you know what core values are or how to discover yours? Join us as we sit down with Marisa Horak Belotti, CEO of FPHorak, to discuss the importance of having core values to guide your decisions and align your goals with your true self. Tune in for a conversation that will help you define your own values and use them to transform your life and unlock your full potential!
Chapters:
Guest Marisa's Info to Connect:
Sponsor Athletic Greens, click to order and receive a free gift!
Follow The Confident Podcast on:
Host, Lisa Tarkington's Socials, Links, & Coaching:
Lead (formerly Self Love Beauty) 501(c)(3) Nonprofit:
I think I preach more than anything and anything that all of my workshops may speak in, anything is understand your why, and that's why I had to ask you what was your why behind the core value? Because I think that that's so beautiful to know it Like great. My value is empowering, okay, but why and when you can explain your why, that confidence shines, you feel more empowered. You just feel all of these amazing alignments. Welcome to the Confident Podcast. I am Lisa Tarkington, your host of this podcast. If you found yourself hitting play on this podcast, it means it was meant for you. My goal is to help empower and guide you to become a better version of yourself through conversation, advice and tips that are real, vulnerable and authentic. I am excited to have you join this journey with me. So let's get started. And authentic. I'm excited to have you join this journey with me, so let's get started.
Lisa:Hey everybody, welcome back for another episode of the Confident Podcast. I am your host, lisa Tarkington, and today is going to be fantastic because we are going to be talking about a topic that is really near and dear to my heart, and that is core values why they're important and then how to implement them into your life, how to find them and then how to align them and then really make sure that every decision that you make goes back to your core values, and this is a really important one for me. So, as you guys know, I do a lot of coaching speaking, but I do a lot of facilitating of workshops, and whenever I teach core values in my workshops, the biggest ahas I have from people is they can't really break it down to their top ones because they have so many or, on the flip side, they have none. We have people that have never heard of what a core value is or why it's important, and many of you may be feeling that exact same way, and so what I wanted to do was really break down today and have a conversation of how having core values can change your life, and for me, it's given me a lot of confidence to make decisions that really aligned for me and into my life and really helped me reach my full potential, which I want for all of you.
Lisa:But I'm not doing this alone, so I am bringing on a guest today who I honestly I think our first conversation we ever had was actually about core values. So Marisa is one of my really good friends. We haven't chatted in like a few months or a year maybe. So I shouldn't say really good friend because I'm a terrible friend for that, but I would say what we've met. Probably like five years ago, I think I was just starting out with my nonprofits, we grabbed coffee at Grove Tea, which is in Midland Michigan where I reside, and I remember just sitting down and being fascinated by who you are, what you're doing, and over time we've really gotten to know each other. With core values, with marketing, you're a wealth of knowledge and so welcome to the Confident Podcast.
Marisa:Thank you, I echo you are totally inspiring.
Lisa:Thank you, I'll take that so okay. So the audience needs to know a little bit about who you are before we even get started, absolutely so my name is Marisa Horek-Balati.
Marisa:I own a printing and marketing company. I also was the publisher of a local and regional magazine. I launched a custom publishing and content marketing division, and so our business is like 78 years strong, third generation family-owned business and woman-owned, and so very exciting. We reside in the Great Lakes Bay region as well and very proud of it, and so core values. You know, our conversation was very exciting because you were so inspirational. I have three young children and especially at the time they were a lot younger and I've seen so many things really affect them emotionally, and so I am excited to be here and have this conversation with you.
Lisa:Yeah, it's going to be awesome and I think for the audience just to kind of like set the tone to, I kind of shared like what? Like I needed to do this because it was around core values, but, like also to a lot of the kids that I work with have never heard of that before. But I think at the same time it's it's something that I wanted to bring up, because the concept to adults is it starts with us many times. Right, it starts with us. So when you hear what is a core value and why is it important, what would you share with the audience for those things?
Marisa:So I would say that a core value is basically for me, it's a moral compass, right? So I always have to have some guiding principles for myself and for our business. Most people really focus on vision mission. At FB Horak, I'd say that we spend a lot of time focusing on our core values and how they align, how we basically look at our employees how are they aligning with our moral compass? Because that really will define whether or not they're going to fit in the culture. Yeah, and a family side for me it was more focused on I needed to cultivate a culture because they're my humans that I bore and I need them and my husband, I need them to really have that same moral compass of who we are as a family, who we believe should be our guiding principles. So that was, you know, that's how it kind of delved in yeah, okay.
Lisa:So I have a quote that I wanted to share, based on what you said. Values are like a lighthouse, they are signals giving us direction, meaning and purpose, and that's like perfect, exactly with the compass piece, because they help you, like, they help you make decisions. So let's let's start with the family first, but I do want to get into the business piece too, because that is something that I think is very intriguing, because I see a lot of companies that have these core values. We believe in these things, but I remember when I worked for another company, I was like, yeah, I believe these things, but I don't think I ever connected it right as I should have. So, starting with the family, you shared like, okay, me and my husband needed these things for our kids, but like, why, like, why do you think it's important?
Marisa:This is so funny. I remember I was struggling with my kids at a young age. They were, you know, just going through adolescence and bullying and a lot of different things were happening and emotions were high. And I read this article that said you should run your family like you run a business and this article is truly inspiring Like you should have a mission, you should have a vision of where you want to go, you should be very clear on your core values as a family and you should establish those together. And I remember we sat on our bed, as in our old house where we raised the family, and they were really little and we said, all right, what's important to us? And they were throwing out words, and so then I really needed to kind of focus in on all right, we need a kind of guide on how to get there.
Marisa:And so we took our last name. Baladi is my last name, my married name and each one of the letters started out our core values. And every single day on the way to school we recite them. And my kids can definitely recite the core values. I can sit and recite them and I use them all the time. So when I see them kind of veering out of line, I'll say you know, are you believing in God and family? Because they're always going to be there, or I'll start the core value or I is.
Marisa:Leadership happens everywhere and then they end it with fulfill your role. So every single one of the moments that, as you're raising your children and as you're guiding them, you see these moments of opportunity where you kind of push back to those core values, are you aligning with our core values as a family? And the one thing, that mission and the vision for our family was where we go, we go together, and that is like it's our group name on our family chat. It's plastered all over the house and it's just, and they set that. I remember my son and my daughter said where we go and then, you know, one of the other ones said oh well, we're going to go together everywhere we go.
Marisa:So that was just what we say all the time. So it was one of those moments and I jotted it down on a piece of paper and then three years went by and they were really struggling my girls getting in middle school and stuff and I said, okay, well, I'm going to put this to a poster and so I took her last name. Our solace place is our cabin on the river. So the background of the image is our doc looking at the river. And I wrote it all out and it's on a poster board.
Marisa:It's what I text them all the time when they forget things that are important to us, and it's plastered in posters and framed all over my house so amazing.
Lisa:Ok, so now you have to share with us what those core values are and why Like what, if you don't mind the why behind some of them, absolutely so for Bilati is my last name, so for me it's believe in family and God.
Marisa:They will always be there. For us, faith is a foundation and and family is a foundation, and so we're always there. And sometimes the kids, they fight, and I'm always like you know, at the end of the day you're there, you're core to each other. E is empower yourself and others to do what's right. I'm big on empowerment, I'm big on doing what's right and they need to look at within themselves. But then how are they encouraging others to it's right?
Marisa:L is leadership happens everywhere. Fulfill your role, that's a given right. Always, opportunity comes with passion, commitment and learning. So passion behind everything is going to be what drives commitment. You have to have commitment. Even though you're fun and having passion, you have to have commitment. And then learning. You always have to be learning. You're never going to reach your peak right.
Marisa:So the next one is T and it's truth in all you say and do. I'm big on honesty and just being truthful in general, because people really value that in all relationships. And then the next T is try we win or we learn, and that comes in sports a lot. I bet I say that pretty much all the time in sports, and then the I is invest time in your body, spirit and time with loved ones. So you really need to invest in your body, overall wellness.
Marisa:Your spirit is so important. So clearing your mind, breathing, understanding that not necessarily always meditation, but understanding that calming your mind is going to really help. So your spirit needs to be intact and time with loved ones always helps. So, whether it's your friends, your family, your dog, it's just or your cat or whatever animal you frequent, but it's more so, investing in that time, it really helps, kind of. You know, breathe the soul and then the end for us is where we go, we go together. So that's our, that's our poster and that's what was important to us. And we kind of set that stage together and they can recite it. I'm pretty hard on them, I bet.
Lisa:I bet Before this she was asking my KPIs and all of these things. No, but I actually think that that's really. Um. So what I'm hearing when you say all of that is the core values that you have created as a family have made you guys stronger together. No, so for families or people in general, like how did like just our audience listening in, like what has been the shift? Because you see society now, like there's just a lot going on, so why has the core values made a difference for your family?
Marisa:So I watch and interview a lot of young blood, right.
Marisa:Like we're young kids and so many of them spend so much time in their phones on social media. I'm a content marketing. I used to run a content marketing agency, so in content marketing, people believe what they read, what they watch, what they read. You can put out fake news all day long and people will believe what they read, and so I watch.
Marisa:So many young children just change their ways because of what they're reading and seeing in society and TikTok and social media and Snap and all these things, and I'm watching them change their perspective, change their feeling towards a brand, changing so many things in the way that they act and buy and do things, that it's so impactful to me that they have these core values that they have to have as a guiding principle, because if they don't and they can't come back to that, they will not succeed in life.
Marisa:There's too much noise and young children, especially middle school, high school age they're really forming who they're going to be as leaders in the community, as a contributing citizen. The best version of themselves won't come out if they're listening to the noise and so at the end of the day, it's not going to be that hard for this young generation to shine, because so many won't. So I really try to hit home with them how much of an opportunity it's going to be to look people in the eyes when they communicate, to effectively communicate, to speak in full sentences. So many times I get texts back with letters all just merged together and I should just know that, TTY you know it means, like you know, talk to you later.
Marisa:I seriously write it out. I respond to my children with the full sentence.
Lisa:Talk to you later.
Marisa:Yes, exactly Because it's because it's not an effective way of communicating. It may be the way that they're communicating, but it's not showing respect, it's not showing focus and it's not showing the ability to stand out. And so I spend a lot of time with my humans and pretty much all their friends, but just kind of showing them how easy it's going to be to stand out. What a great opportunity. Cause it was a lot harder when I was a kid and when we were children and to start a business and to shine and to you know, really kind of kick it. It was tough and it's not going to be hard for these kids to shine. So, you know, as long as they have a good compass and a good focus and you know, like your point the light.
Lisa:Yeah Well, and I think what you're also like you're, I have so many questions. When it comes in my mind, too, it's like how cool is it? First off, I got chills when you said, like it's not going to be hard for them to shine, but it's making that opportunity for themselves. But getting all of these things in place really does help you.
Lisa:When you have the values, when you have these decisions, it's also too empowering to think about, like okay, if I have these values, sure, some people are probably going to try to cross those boundaries that I have, but I have something to go back to. Like you said, the other thing that's intriguing to me is when you kind of surround yourself with people that might have those things too, and so you're just kind of like continuing to rise with everybody else. So for parents out there or just people in general I'm not even going to just say parents, because I don't have kids and I know that I'm married and I would love to have that for my home I bet people that are single are like OK, what are my values that we align in this home, or even when I'm trying to find a relationship. So where do they start?
Marisa:So you know, honestly, the the last name thing did help me. I just needed to lay it out and just find words that I really align with Mine's. Tarkington. So I don't think I could do that.
Marisa:I think we should navigate that together. I think that would be fun. I truly believe I've had a lot of families walk through my house and see it on the sign and they're like, where did you start? And for me it was. I knew what I wanted, what I wanted out of our family and what I wanted people to look at our family and think this is, this is them, this is them, this is the way that they, this is the way they push that feelings out when they're around. They know that that's a core value and it's it's something that you can trust when, when you're working with our family. Anyways, it's the way that I focus on. But there's also things that are so you know, easy to look at 30,000 foot view and sometimes it's hard to attack. So I would say sitting down and and I do this in business land a lot when I'm doing branding for agencies, so it's easier for my mind to think that way.
Marisa:But, um, sitting down and just taking one of those large sticky notes and saying, all right, everyone, throw out words that's important to us, throw out things that, as a family, you think mommy has or is, and what is daddy, or what is mommy and mommy or daddy and that, and how can we push that forward into sentences that then let them be empowered and be part of it?
Marisa:Because even when you're doing this for a business, you have to make it so that the whole family is participating, because they have to believe in them, yeah, and they have to feel that that is a good part of where they are and what they're bringing to the table. And you can notice that through micro values. If you spent some time with my children, you'll be able to tell which one really you know, which is my strongest leader, which is the one that's, like you know, falls down and always stands up, which is the one that's always the kindness and where we go, we go together, like you can tell that with each one of my kids, where those points came forward if you spend some time with them.
Lisa:Well, and I think it's incredible to think about how you get to then, just I don't know. Every time I hear you talk about it, I just picture your family literally having dinner together and talking about these things in the car ride, talking about these things after a hard conversation, your kid coming to you for these things. I think the difference, though, that I love to remind people too is like that you had to be open to those like you have to. It's. It's not a. We created these core values and we're not going to continue to bring them up. Well, you have to.
Marisa:And the other thing for us is one of the things that we do at our dinner table. That kind of helped me bring back that conversation. We, we do highs and lows, so you always have to end on a high. But what was the lowest part of your day? What was the highest part of your day? So it doesn't happen all the time, but when we're at dinner table and it's the five of us, it's highs and lows.
Marisa:And I had a very dear friend that did this in a moment of and I was sitting there and I realized how instrumental that can be, because their lowest part of their day oftentimes is the one thing that they're not going to tell you. And when they tell you that you have a great opportunity to bring back, how could they have applied one of the core values to make that, not make them feel that way, right? So, even though that low, how could you have converted that as an opportunity to apply one of your core values? Same exact thing goes in business as well. You know you find in highs, right? So there's a lot of highs in business. There's a lot of lows. The lows are where you typically find the most change, opportunity and ability to apply a core value that you don't think really is there, right.
Marisa:So the kids might say you know, someone said this to me and I watched them do this to this other kid or whatever. Or, you know, while leadership happens everywhere, how did you fulfill your role in that moment? If you're watching them bullying and maybe you're not the one that's gonna get bullied because you're stronger or you got this big, strong bravado but you're watching somebody else did you just sit there and watch or did you step in and say, hey, you don't have to go and get in the middle of a fight, but you can bring that person and invite them to sit at your lunch table? How are you fulfilling that role and showing them? Because you know, and I do I have three very different kids, but I have one of my children is very popular and definitely controls a room, but also, you know, can use that for a show about Charlie, can use it for a negative effect too, and so you have to find a way of if you can impact a room.
Marisa:You know with great, you know with great power comes great responsibility, and you have to find a way of impacting that room, always in a positive light. One of the biggest things that I say to my kids all the time is be a balloon. It's literally my biggest emoji. It's the balloon. You have to lift others up and cut your weights, and so how are you provide, how are you being a balloon in everyone's life? By lifting people up versus cutting your weights, and because if you're a weight on someone you have, you're running the risk that you're going to be cut, and so it's always about lifting others around you. I say it every day Be a balloon, be balloons. It's my daily text every day, and it's one of those things that, if you're not constantly pushing that forward, it's so much noise. There's so much noise with these kids.
Lisa:I mean I've got 17, 15, and 13. There's a lot of noise with 30-year-olds. I mean I'm 30.
Marisa:Like.
Lisa:I totally get it and I think too, like through this whole conversation, what you said was very. One thing that you said was my kids are all different, but guess what, they all have the same values and I think that that but that's like a family unit and like sure they might have other values, that as they grow up they'll create those things too. But they'll always remember those pieces, and one of my values is freedom, and one of the things I love to share with people too is every time so I do a lot of coaching, a lot of business coaching, and one of the things I always talk to people about is what are your personal core values? That's how we have to start every conversation, and it's very intriguing to me where it's like when you had to have a conversation, you get to know a lot about a person based off their values. Like for me, freedom was always been one of my, my values, and people can take freedom however they want, but for me it's freedom to make a flexible schedule or make different decisions like that. But that's the other difference is freedom for me could mean very different core value than it does for you, but it's about defining it too and understanding your why.
Lisa:Taking care of your health isn't always easy, but it should at least be simple. That's why, for the last three to four years, I have been drinking AG1 every day, no exceptions. It is just one scoop mixed in with water once a day, every day, and it makes me feel energized and ready to take on the day. That's because each serving of AG1 delivers my daily dose of vitamins, minerals and probiotics, plus more. It's a powerful healthy habit. That's also very simple, and I like simple. I like to drink AG1 first thing in the morning, and that is what is also recommended. I fill up my shaker with extra cold water, add one scoop of AG1, shake it up and I'm ready to go. If I'm running short on time and can't mix my AG1 before heading out, I'll grab a travel pack, and that has been so helpful for all of my travel times. Each is an individual serving of AG1 that's easy to mix on the go, helping ensure I get my daily nutrition, no matter what. If there's one product I would recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1. And that's why I've been partnering with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, let's start with AG1. Try it and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3 plus K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase, exclusively at drinkag1.com. Slash theconfident Again. That's drinkag1, slash theconfident, so check it out.
Lisa:One of the things I am most proud of is how I continue to put personal development at the forefront of my growth. I know this is something many people struggle with, because we don't always know where to start. There's almost too much information out there. It can become overwhelming and requires research to ensure credibility. I also want something that's accessible anytime and that I can pick back up where I left off. Not only has this been my personal experience, but I've had countless individuals reach out to me for resources. This is why I'm so excited to share with you Lead Within, an online membership platform created for adults, parents and teenagers.
Lisa:It empowers adults in their personal and professional growth, guides parents to nurture resilience in their children and supports teenagers throughout transformative phases. If you are struggling with confidence, self-doubt or stress, lead Within offers practical tools. This platform has content covering a wide range of topics and interactive learning resources. With continuous updates of fresh content. Your growth journey never ends. Today, we are offering you 50% off your first month of membership. This takes the cost down to just $5. So visit leadconfidentlyorg, backslash leadwithin and use the promo code podcast50. Again, that's promo code podcast50 to unlock your potential today. Together, let's thrive, grow and lead with confidence.
Lisa:I think I preach more than anything and anything that all of my workshops may speak in anything is understand your why. And that's why I had to ask you what was your, why behind the core value? Because I think that that's so beautiful to know it Like great, my value is empowering. Okay, but why and when you can explain your why, that confidence shines, you feel more empowered. You just feel all of these amazing alignments. And then, to your point you get to make decisions. You get to make the decision. If you see someone not doing something, am I going to be the leader or am I going to just sit there? Oh, that is one of my core values, right? Or if someone doesn't align to it or something in your life, you can make those decisions For me. It's helped me a lot with I'm going to use the one freedom again is it's helped me make decisions of like oh yeah, I have not been aligned to that value this month, you want compromise.
Marisa:Yes, yes, and I love that you just said that. Definitely one of those people that I found. You made a very, very gutsy decision to transform your entire world to start what was South LaVida at the time, but what you did because you believe so much that you wanted to create change and it's. It's truly. It truly is inspiring, and I agree with you. You allowed your core value to make you focus and to not compromise on things that were super important to you, even if maybe financially it didn't make sense or whatever.
Marisa:You were like I have faith in myself and for me. You know I'm a button girl and I always bet on myself and that's one of the things, because I know that I won't, I won't compromise with what is super important to me. I just won't.
Lisa:It's just not going to happen, but if you didn't have those values, you might.
Lisa:Oh yeah, right, like and I think that that, like I, we talk all the time, like obviously this is called the confidentident Podcast for a reason, but like everything, I think people think like, oh, if I do this, I'll have all of this confidence, but like core values, actually aligns really well to that. Because now you're betting on yourself, you're seeing like this is where I fit, this is where I align, these are decisions that I make. And I'm going to flip it from like the family conversation back to business for a second and saying, like it helps you make decisions as a business, like when you have values and a business opportunity comes, you can literally look at through the lens of your values and be like does this align and do employees?
Marisa:align Exactly. And team members because, quite honestly, our team we're so very blessed and core values evolve in business. That's something that's extremely important to know, because some businesses are purpose-focused, some are product-focused, some are very bottom line focused and some are very focused on creating change and making an impact in the world. And so in every business, obviously an impact in the world. And so in every business, obviously everyone needs to make money to be able to pay their employees and take care of them. But in every business, from the leadership on down, if you're not exemplifying your core values as a unit and as a culture, you end up with normally aligning with the wrong type of people that work for your team.
Marisa:I'm very blessed at FB Horak. We have a lot of wonderful people that have taken us in through some major pivots and it's been based upon the core values that we have in our leadership team that really inspired them all to OK, we're making this change, we're making this pivot where we may have hit rock bottom and we needed to do that, but how is this aligning with our core values? And where we're going as an organization? And I think it's transformed us and it's shown that without those and without that drive and that ability. You know, one of my main ones at work is adapt and ever changing business environment and we say that all the time at work. All the time because our business is a printing business started out it's like really transformed when.
Marisa:COVID happened. Everybody just stopped going into work and needing operational documents and we had to pivot. We were one of the largest business firms printer in the Midwest and we sold our building, we sold all of our forms equipment, we doubled down on digital and we really transformed the way that you would look at a printing and marketing company and we're going into corporate gifting, and so our business transformed. But because and it evolved because our employees were coming up with these amazing ideas that really set us apart. And so, you know, from the ashes we rose as a team and we were super blessed. And it's the same thing that happens with families, because there's so many moments that will bring you down to your knees, as everybody has these moments as a family, and it's about sticking together and it's about aligning with each other and it's about focusing on your core values and then not compromising on them. And how are you going to, how are you going to evolve as a family?
Lisa:How are you going to stand?
Marisa:up and keep, because the only way you can move is stepping forward, and so if your kids aren't there, I've watched kids and their friends be torn down pretty hardcore. Some kids can be really mean.
Lisa:I know, really mean. It's so tough as an adult to see it, but I think what you also said was having core values, just like having confidence, just like having self-worth, just like having leadership skills doesn't mean you're still not going to have the going down to the ground to get back up, right. But I always tell people the bounce backs easier because you have all of these things in place that you're like OK, but these are the things that I value, because you have something to bounce back to. Yeah, right. Then you're making a decision and I think the coolest thing out of everything that you said family and business is that you are not alone, and I think that that is something to like. These are my values. These are, but like you make values also with your business, with your family, maybe with your friends, I should make core values for my doggies.
Lisa:But, I think about that in the sense that creating those actually creates culture. It creates just not being by yourself.
Marisa:It just really creates a sense of unity. I mean I'm very blessed. I've got an amazing group of friends and my mom did too, and I watched the way that my mom's friend even though she has Alzheimer's I've watched her friends just surround her, they're visiting, they're, you know, rehoming her dog Like they're just literally. It's just the coolest thing. And sometimes friends are the family that you choose. Yes, because they do align with your core values and they do believe in you. And it's just such a blessing. And when you're a really good friend and you're really kind and you're there for your friends, you realize that you have that sense of unity as a think. You know they say the same thing where you come into your house and you and you want they'll even recite them. Some of my like, I'll hear them say it and it makes me so happy because it does you align yourself with people that have the same.
Lisa:Yes, you know focus Exactly, and that ripple effect, just continues to happen and drive towards goodness, and that ripple effect just kind of continues to happen. So kind of like wrapping up, like what is something like it can be one action or it can be three actions that you're like this is what would be either your first step or what I would just want to leave everybody with.
Marisa:I would say this identify that A. It's really super important to you because you have to be behind it. If you're not just like a business, if you're not behind doing this as a family and reciting it and saying it and living by it and quite honestly measuring not judging, but measuring your family's success based on how they're exemplifying those core values If you're not behind it, don't do it, because it's kind of like not worth it.
Lisa:What's the?
Marisa:point. So, and then two, I would say sit down as as a unit and talk about what's important and and potentially really kind of ask, and you know I'm happy to to talk through it with anybody. Anybody can reach out to myself. You've've got my cell, but it's kind of really finding a way of documenting this and then putting it forward and constantly pushing it forward within your family and reminding them, because it is something like you know there's a reason why when you go into large businesses they have them all over the wall. It's because this is what we want you to see.
Marisa:I put them in the bathrooms next to the toilet because when they're sitting there, I want them to read them, I want them to understand and, seeing as issues come up, how could one of my core values align with it? And then, how can I use that as a teaching moment, because oftentimes people don't realize the opportunity to teach. Sometimes there are opportunity to criticize or to judge, but if there's a way that you can use it as a teachable moment by asking a couple of questions and then reaffirming it based on that core value and sometimes I can't give good advice, but I just say the core value you know, how did you, how did you show leadership or how did you believe in God and family at that moment? Because I feel like you lost the fact that they were always going to be there and you just did this. Or how did you empower that kid to not drink and drive, you know, and to do what's right? Yes, you know, by what you know, being ballsy enough to call your mom and say you come, pick us up.
Marisa:Yes, because that happens on every single day. And you realize, when you do put that forward, the kids, the kids, start thinking that way, becomes what it's, becomes their inner voice. Yes, you don't realize that your outer voice becomes their inner voice. Yes, you don't realize that your outer voice becomes their inner voice. And so I mean, I have a group chat that I'm constantly pushing with my kids, but even those moments I send them videos, like you know, really positive videos all the time, and they never comment and they never talk about it. But the other day I said you know, I keep sending you this stuff and you guys don't even like it, and they say we watch it, that one was really good.
Marisa:So I know they're hearing me, they're listening to me. They may not be acknowledging it, but it becomes their inner voice.
Lisa:Totally, and I think the couple of words that came up to mind when you were talking is it creates trust. So trust in the home, trust in the business, when you have those, Also, when you have them for yourself, trust in yourself, support all around, it's also too like. Sure, it's family and business, but even when you're just supporting yourself, I think that's another powerful thing. But one of the words that really came up when you were talking is ownership. Instead of it just being like when you create your own values, you're taking ownership of my decisions, because if these are my values, then I have to own every decision I make based off those. Same with family and same with businesses.
Lisa:The cool thing about businesses and with family is that then you can say that to your kids Like you get to own this Right, Like we created these together, but you have to own your actions, which is really hard for people, and so I think it's very powerful that that's where you need to start Right. Like actually wanting them, having the people buy into it and say that you don't have kids right, or you say that you don't. You know, you're just trying to figure them out for yourself. Go back to the sticky notes that you said Pick. How I love to tell people is start with three, or maybe you start with like maybe you have 12 that really like ah, these are kind of good.
Lisa:Then go down to your five and then go down to your three, Because I know for me three is way easier to remember than 12. Now, you guys have been doing this for years because you have a last name. But like, if you just pick three you can add. Over time you can change them out, but I know I can remember threes better than I can remember I would agree with you.
Marisa:And then I would even add, to take those three and give scenarios to yourself, because when you read, say you know, like one of ours, you know leadership happens everywhere. If you play a role or try, we win or we learn. Give an example of why you would use that, because for sports, for us, is a huge thing Try, we win or we learn Every single time. Losing actually teaches you. Losing and failing is the most instrumental. I actually watched a podcast not too long ago that said something about every single night. Her dad asked her what did you fail at? Today? And when you think about that, failing is what's transformed our family, my life and work and everything. And so how can you apply a failure with that core value and then use it as a teachable moment? That's like that triangle of success, right? Yes, so try to take each one of them and give examples underneath it and think about how you would apply it. Love that, because you really need to get behind it that way as well.
Lisa:Yeah, Because I could say all day yeah, it's a value, that's leadership. But why, Like what's the what's? Give me the examples and stuff Exactly so. Thank you so much for being on this podcast.
Marisa:This was awesome.
Lisa:I love everything about core values, but it's really I love the perspective today about like cause. I teach a lot about like what are yours, so I wanted to hear the perspective from what for a family. And then, like, we weren't even planning to talk about business today. But like, the business thing is just as powerful, and so making those alignments for yourself is a game changer. So to anybody listening in today, I hope that you really took away how you can implement these into your life. Please tell us. We'd love to hear. You can d DM us on Instagram or just email us.
Lisa:All the information is in the show notes and, like I always say at the end of these, continue to spread love and kindness to everybody that you meet. Have a great day, thank you. Thank you for tuning into the Confident Podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, follow the Confident Podcast on Instagram and TikTok and share it with those who might benefit. Also, if you are looking to work one-on-one with me, message and follow me on Instagram at LisaTarkingtonOfficial. Stay confident, stay inspired and, until next time, keep striving to be the best version of yourself. Take care.