The Confident Podcast

EP 173 | How Imposter Syndrome Is Stopping You From Achieving Your Goals with 3x TEDx Speaker Jacob Brown

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Sometimes we allow our imposter syndrome and fear to dictate our decisions. In this episode, we sit down with former NFL player turned entrepreneur and 3x TEDx speaker, Jacob Brown, who shares his story of overcoming fear and imposter syndrome to be where he is today. Tune in to this empowering discussion and learn how to let go of fear, achieve your goals, and make your dreams a reality.

Chapters:

  • 0:00 - Intro & Meet Guest Jacob Brown
  • 12:35 - Embracing Authenticity and Overcoming Fear
  • 25:57 - Overcoming Fear and Victim Mentality
  • 32:50 - Empowering Conversations on Overcoming Fear


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Jacob Brown:

Imposter syndrome only shows up - I want you to recognize this Imposter syndrome only shows up just before something amazing is about to happen. It only shows up.

Lisa Tarkington:

Welcome to the Confident Podcast. I am Lisa Tarkington, your guide to mastering confidence and leadership. As the business and life coach, keynote speaker and the driving force behind LEAD, I am here to help you break free from self-doubt, silence the imposter syndrome and step into your power as the person you're meant to be. If you press play today, it's because you're ready for something bigger you real, raw conversations and actionable insights that will empower you to redefine your leadership, reclaim your confidence and transform into the unstoppable force you've always known that you could be. This isn't just another podcast. It's a journey we're on together. So buckle up and let's dive into this transformation. Your next level awaits. Hey everybody, welcome back for another episode of the Confident Podcast. I am your host, Lisa Tarkington, and I'm really excited for today's episode. But before we dive into today's conversation, I want to kind of share some things that have been on my heart really recently. So I have had many moments where I have had to push out of my comfort zone. I know I've talked a lot about this with all of you of I feel like I'm always getting out of my comfort zone, but in a different way this time, where it's not a physical, it's very mental. I've had to do a lot of moments of a lot of mindset shifts, and I think a lot of it has to do with sometimes fear, sometimes imposter syndrome and just knowing that sometimes you have to get uncomfortable to really move forward and get out of your own mind and your own ways and your own thoughts or experiences from the past. And so I always remind myself that it's very easy to go back to the default, it's very easy to go back to the ways that I've always, just you know, in my comfort zone. But recently I was reading this book and it said you know, when comfort happens is when you just need to go in and, oh man, that hit me, that hit me really hard of. I need to go very uncomfortable for a while, go inward so that I can make changes. And it was a lot of mind shift work that I had to do, and so I know that for me and for many of you guys, we allow sometimes our imposter syndrome and fear to dictate our decisions. I've been there, I'm still working on that. I'm better, way better and more healthier than I ever have been in those areas, but I'm still working on it. I even have where I wanna shift my mindset for the next four months before 2025 hits, and I see this every day with my clients too. I see it a lot with my clients. I see it with anybody that I work with, and so it's very challenging, but I promise you, it is the most beautiful thing when you can overcome different aspects of your life that are holding you back Maybe that's fear, maybe that's imposter syndrome to really become the best person that you can be.

Lisa Tarkington:

We all have our goals and inspirations and aspirations that we want to achieve, and so today's topic is really relevant because we are going to be talking about how imposter syndrome is stopping you from achieving your goals. And I'm not doing this alone. I'm doing this with my friend, jacob Brown. So Jacob Brown and I have known each other for a few years I would say more than a few years. We've known each other for about four years and we have been on the journey together of coaching and keynote speaking and trying to figure out this entrepreneurial life together, and in this episode, we really break down areas in our lives where maybe that imposter syndrome came up, how we overcame it, how fear has stopped people from achieving their goals, but what you can do to overcome that and how. On the other side of all of those things are the things that you want to achieve. You just have to overcome them. So we're going to be talking about how to do that. We're also going to be sharing some vulnerability with you all, because we know that we've been in your shoes, still in your shoes, and we want you to overcome those things so that you can achieve all the goals that you have in front of you.

Lisa Tarkington:

So a little bit about Jacob, because you guys need to know the man behind this, because he is so awesome. So Jacob's journey started on the NFL fields and now he is speaking on international stages. It is really nothing short of amazing. So today he's an experienced entrepreneur, an engaging speaker. He shows up the true power of resilience and, beyond sports and achievements, jacob is a co-founder of Varlo, a lead branding in cycling and triathlon apparel, and he is a three-time TEDx speaker and he's had insights on Wall Street Journal, good Morning America and Forbes, which is so amazing, and so I'm so excited for this conversation with Jacob today. It definitely resonated with me. I had chills multiple times while we were chatting and I hope that all of you guys walking away with at least one thing that you're going to do in your life to overcome that imposter syndrome and fear, so that you can reach your full potential. All right, well, welcome, jacob, to the Confident Podcast.

Jacob Brown:

Thank you so much for having me.

Lisa Tarkington:

I'm so excited to be talking to you. So, to kick things off, can you share a little bit about your journey that kind of led you to where you are, where now you're eliminating imposter syndrome and kind of getting over fear? Let's start there.

Jacob Brown:

Yeah, yeah. So former NFL athlete went to the University of Central Michigan, fire up chips, went to the NFL for a short period of time, was cut by the Oakland Raiders after a couple months of being through camp, came home, had to find a job and that's where my fail-forward journey started. So those who don't know much about me, my name is Jacob Brown, from Bridgeport, Michigan, a small town. I went to college, went to the NFL and I was a creative director for about 16 years. So I helped lead design teams and development teams for a long period of time, Got to the end of my career probably around 2018, 2019, and started to realize that I really wanted to dive into speaking, motivating people, encouraging them, coaching and mentoring. Right, yeah.

Jacob Brown:

And I realized in doing this that most people had this thing called fear. Right, they had fear in the back of their mind, they had fear all around them and often before they did anything remarkable, they always had that imposter right, that imposter syndrome telling them you're not smart enough, you don't have enough experience, you know the family you come from doesn't do that. Like all of those voices, right, the voice in the back of your head. And I realized that people needed to find a way to get past that, because there was a period of time in my life where I had to put that behind me and move past it and I realized, you know. Will Smith says you know, success or happiness is on the other side of fear. Well, a lot of times that fear is self-brought right or something that might've happened when we were younger. And once we get past that, that's when we experience the beauties in life.

Lisa Tarkington:

I love that. And also, as you're talking, I'm thinking about all the times, and probably the last year, where I've had these conversations right. With myself, with my husband or in groups, and so I guess let's go back to take us back.

Lisa Tarkington:

You can take us back five years, 10 years, 20 years whatever works best for you of like when was the time where imposter syndrome, basically you were kind of stuck in the mud where you were kind of like I can't move forward. And then how did you kind of, or maybe you didn't move forward and you had that lesson. So yeah, if you want to share any of that.

Jacob Brown:

Yeah, so I mean, I'll talk about being a keynote speaker, right? So I did my first keynote, probably in 2014. So about 10 years ago, and I did my first like real, real keynote around 2017, 18. Real, real keynote around 2017, 18.

Jacob Brown:

And I was afraid that I did not have enough knowledge or stage presence. You know all of the things, and and also one of the things that I was afraid of was that I was just going to be seen as a copycat of other speakers, right, that either looked like me or didn't, right? And I did not want to be seen as someone that was either fake or pretending. So, trying to find what my authentic voice was and to be true to that, was a tough thing to do because, at the end of the day, I didn't know if that was going to resonate with people or if people would cling on to the things that I had to say Right, the stories I told, the experience that I had, or if I had enough experience, right, if I had read enough books, if I had been on enough podcasts, all of those things.

Jacob Brown:

And I remember there was a point in my career of speaking where I stepped on stage and someone came up to me afterwards and they said what you said changed my life today. And I remember in that moment I said you know, if I can only touch one person, no matter what I do right, if I could touch one person out of a thousand, out of 2000, out of 500, right out of 50, if I can at least reach one of them, then I've done my job. And that's when I've kind of got past the imposter syndrome, because I noticed that, even though I was fearful, before stepping on stage, before getting in front of a group, there was someone in the audience that needed to hear what I had to say and that's all I needed.

Lisa Tarkington:

Yeah, yeah, what I had to say, and that's all I needed. Yeah, yeah, well, and I'm like assuming, as you were going through all of this, it was kind of like as much as you move forward there were probably a lot of backpedals, right, like, am I going to actually do this? Okay, what's the like?

Lisa Tarkington:

the heart racing Like I'm picturing the hands sweating right, like all of the feelings that come with the imposter syndrome that I think everybody listening like has, and that that fear that stops us. So like I'm assuming that you wanted it so badly, you didn't let that happen. But like how did you like get to that point where you're like I want to be a keynote speaker. I might not have all of these things, but I'm still going to step on stage, because I think that that's still very paralyzing, for people to be honest with you, like they are fearful.

Lisa Tarkington:

So they're like I want to be a keynote or I want to become a leader, but you know what? I'm too scared.

Jacob Brown:

Yeah, yeah. My motto and mantra is fail forward right.

Jacob Brown:

John Maxwell wrote a book back in 2000 called Failing Forward. I heard about failing forward in 2006, right before I went to the NFL, where my aunt asked me the question Jake, what happens if football doesn't work out? And I'm 22 years old, I'm 6'3", 220 pounds. I was an athlete, I was a freaking beast and I never saw my life without football. And I said, well, if football doesn't work out, I'll just fall back on what I was getting my degree in graphic or web design. And she said, Jake, if you ever fail or fall, always fall or fail forward. And in football we're taught, you know, when you're running the ball and you get tackled to fall forward because you gain extra yards. Well, what I had learned is that throughout my life, failed businesses, failed relationships, failed friendships, failed jobs Every time I went through a failure, fail moment, I learned that I I took something from that experience.

Lisa Tarkington:

Yeah.

Jacob Brown:

And the next time I tried something, I was more knowledgeable, I was more experienced and I was more confident. When I look back at some of my early talks, I sucked, I absolutely sucked at talking. I was always looking at my PowerPoint and I had too much too many words on the. I mean all the things you know, the things that you don't know when you're getting into keynote speaking, Totally Public speaking, and but the more that I stepped on stage, I got past the sucking and learned.

Lisa Tarkington:

Yeah.

Jacob Brown:

And when I started to get positive feedback from people, I knew that I was on the right path.

Lisa Tarkington:

Yeah, yeah.

Jacob Brown:

And that's when that fear, that imposter, started to fade away a little bit. But I'm here to tell you you know, I've been speaking for 10 years. Every time I step on stage, I always have a voice that comes Totally Right before I step on stage and say Jake, do you really know what you're doing, Right?

Lisa Tarkington:

Yeah, do you really?

Jacob Brown:

Are you really prepared? Are you, do you know this audience? You know, are you, do you have enough education? All of those things come. But one thing that I've recognized and for those that are listening, I want you to understand this this is, this is what I've learned in my career, in my life Imposter syndrome only shows up.

Jacob Brown:

Now I want you to recognize this. Imposter syndrome only shows up just before something amazing is about to happen. It only shows up If you're already down in the dumps and you suck. You're not getting imposter syndrome. It's only right before you take that big test, Before you sign up for college courses, Before you apply for that job, Before you go and ask that boyfriend or girlfriend for their hand in marriage, whatever it is. That's when it shows up Because it knows that if it can talk you out of it, it can win. But one thing that I've learned is that if you push past that voice and push past the fear that it's trying to bring you on the other side is something remarkable, and that's what I've experienced. So, actually, when the imposter shows up, you should get excited because what's on the other side is only better than what you've come from.

Lisa Tarkington:

Amen, I will tell you, though, but right like I can say amen and also be like yep have that feeling Well and it's intriguing because, even like you know, I teach this stuff, so do you, and we still feel it. But I think the difference is is now we have the tools and skills to take care of it, and that's actually what we teach a lot on this podcast.

Lisa Tarkington:

You know, recently we were talking all about like how to become a confident leader. I was doing a whole workshop on it and imposter syndrome continued to come up for people. The other thing that you said earlier about like I don't want to mirror everybody else, yeah.

Lisa Tarkington:

I want to mirror everybody else. I want to be me. And so funny that you say that Yesterday I had a conversation with someone and they were like Lisa, you're very polished. And I like I looked at them and they're like but when you're with friends having coffee, are you polished? And I was like no, and they're like exactly, but the people that you look up to aren't always polished. So it's finding this rhythm right, like I'm not going to grab coffee with someone that's super polished. I'm going because I'm like tell me your soul, tell me the good, tell me the bad. I want to cheer you on. I love them for that.

Jacob Brown:

Yes.

Lisa Tarkington:

So why? So I think it kind of goes back to fear and it goes back to the imposter syndrome of like and you're like why aren't we authentic all the time? Like, what's holding us back from that?

Jacob Brown:

You hit the nail right on the head Some of my favorite people that I follow and that I model some of my movements after Mel Robbins.

Lisa Tarkington:

Love her.

Jacob Brown:

Mel couldn't be more authentic. I know she takes videos in bed. I know From her phone in pajamas and doesn't care. Right, for a long period of time she was jumping in her ice bath and she was telling you I don't want to do this, but I'm going to do it anyway. Right? But often, as content creators, we're so worried about it being perfect and the audio being great and the, you know, the 4K clarity, all of that, and then you look at the people you look up to and they don't care. They're showing their true, authentic self. Right, very controversial guy, gary Vee. Right?

Lisa Tarkington:

But like couldn't be more incredible.

Jacob Brown:

Couldn't be more incredible, couldn't?

Lisa Tarkington:

be more authentic, very controversial in so many ways, very controversial Right Dropping F-bombs at middle schools. Yes, exactly.

Jacob Brown:

But he's true to himself Totally. Tony Robbins, simon Sinek, you know all of those people that we look up to and we envy where they are and how they've gotten there. And you look at them and I remember. I'll never forget it was about two years ago and I heard a guy speak, nick Vujicic. He is the speaker from Australia with no arms, no legs.

Lisa Tarkington:

Okay, yep.

Jacob Brown:

He has no arms and no legs. Yeah, I watched him grace the stage like no one I've ever seen. Wow, and the thing that I really took from it and I'm standing next to one of my good speaking buddies, paul Epstein. Paul's out of LA and he's a phenomenal speaker and author and as he's speaking, paul looks over at me and he says you know, one thing that I'm taking from this is how authentic and just raw Nick is. Now. Nick is about 40 some years old. He's done over 3,500 keynotes all over the world, multi-millionaire, owns a massive compound in Dallas and he's getting ready to retire from speaking Because now he wants to help motivate and encourage other people to do that. But as I'm watching Nick with no arms and no legs walk across the stage with so much personality and spunk and truth, and then Paul looks over at me and he tells me one thing that I'm taking away is that it's okay to be me and that's when I was like you know what You're dang straight.

Jacob Brown:

Yeah, exactly the next time I step on stage, you will get Jake Brown fully right, and the more I did that, the more empowered I felt and the more free I felt Right.

Lisa Tarkington:

Yes.

Jacob Brown:

And I think more people need to experience those moments where they understand their authenticity is what people want, I love to be my personal self, but I come from corporate. I'm very polished.

Lisa Tarkington:

I'm still finding that medium a little bit, because I do believe I watch some people and I'm like, oh my God, I love how polished they are, but they're still them. I do believe both can be true in those viewpoints. But I always say, now that I've thought about what I want to be, I now share more stories than ever. And the other day I did a keynote and the head nods. I was like, oh okay, vulnerability, right, like I teach this stuff, I got to share more of that stuff because that's what people relate to you know the stories that I look on social media or look into it's oh, they went through this.

Lisa Tarkington:

Okay, now look at that. They got through it.

Jacob Brown:

Okay, now look at that. They got through it.

Lisa Tarkington:

That's and that's like back to fear. They overcame that fear.

Lisa Tarkington:

And I'm going to go back to the other thing that you said, where it's like once I did one thing and had failure. The next one wasn't as hard. And I had a meeting earlier today where someone was starting out their business and they were like Lisa, I don't know how you did it, and I was like I, they're like you look so fearless and I'm like I'm glad that you think that, and I was like I'll just be honest, I still I I will say, but once you overcome that fear, once the next one's easier. But they're just bigger now, right. And so it's like how do you take those steps?

Jacob Brown:

moving forward and confidence yeah.

Lisa Tarkington:

So all of this has to do with confidence. It's about believing in your skills and your abilities. So everybody always gets confused. Self-esteem is around your worth and confidence is around skills and abilities, so I always like to remind people of that. So confidence, so people lack confidence in themselves. They lack it, believing in themselves. But you said, I used to suck on stage, but I didn't give up.

Jacob Brown:

Yes.

Lisa Tarkington:

Right, Like that's the difference. And so like what? When someone's lacking confidence, where should they start? In your in your, in your mind, yeah.

Jacob Brown:

So one thing that I tell people all the time is listen, there's no reason to fear when you fail, because you've survived. A hundred percent of your bad days, Right, yeah. Anytime you've lost a job, anytime you've lost a family member, you know, Lord forbid. Anytime you've lost a spouse, right, Whether it's a divorce or whatnot, you're still here, you're still standing right. So, whatever it was that tried to hurt you, you were stronger than right. So first of all, understand where you are now. You're stronger than whatever tried to take you out Totally.

Lisa Tarkington:

You're than right.

Jacob Brown:

So, first of all, understand where you are now. You're stronger than whatever tried to take you out. You're here right. So in that, in itself, you should have confidence right Now. The word confidence, the root word of confidence, is confide. Now, what does it mean to confide right? Yep, right and dense right is self right. So when you have confidence, that means you trust in yourself. And if you know that you've trained, if you know you've read the books, watch the tutorials, if you know you've gone through hell and back and you're still standing here, you should be able to trust yourself right when I step on stage. Now I can look back and there's a huge difference between confidence and cockiness 100%.

Jacob Brown:

Right. But, please should explain that to our audience, because I think that that's the big trick for people, is they get hung up on.

Lisa Tarkington:

I don't want to be cocky. I don't want to be cocky yeah Right, I don't want to be cocky. I don't want to be cocky, yeah Right, I don't want to be cocky.

Jacob Brown:

I don't want to be arrogant, I don't want to come off as that. So I'm actually going to make myself smaller so that other people feel comfortable.

Lisa Tarkington:

Yes, yes, love.

Jacob Brown:

That's not. That is the exact opposite of confidence. Totally Right. Being confident is just believing in yourself and in your training and in all of the things that you've done prior to right. So when I step on stage, people say, oh, you stepped on very confident, you graced the stage, you commanded the room. Well, it's not because I'm not fearful and it's not that I didn't have imposter syndrome. It's just that I've, in the past, I've known how to do it and what it's taken me me to get here so I can step on stage confidently. Because I'm confident in my message, because I know it's true and authentic. Right.

Lisa Tarkington:

Yes.

Jacob Brown:

One of the things my mom used to always say is that you never have to remember the truth.

Lisa Tarkington:

Mm-hmm yeah.

Jacob Brown:

You have to remember a lie, but you never have to remember the truth. And when you're telling a story and I coach my speaking clients on this all the time when you're telling a story, that's true you don't need notes or cue cards, because it's in here and it's in here, so you can tell it authentically. Even if it's not the same way every time, it's still your story, right? So I know when I step on stage, I'm going to tell my story. I'm going to tell stories that I love, right? That also support my story and support some of the opinions that I'm going to give, right? So when people don't have confidence, they have to step back and say you know, how did I get to the point and the place I'm at? Do I trust myself? Have I done the studying and the training and the reading and the learning that I know I should? And, if so, I should confide in myself and trust in my abilities.

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Lisa Tarkington:

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Jacob Brown:

Oh yeah.

Lisa Tarkington:

Right, but it's the action that comes after that. And so, like you can take, I always am big on continuous learning, like I don't think I'll ever stop learning, but when does it come where? Okay, I know enough about this, where I don't need to take massive things, I need to trust myself right.

Lisa Tarkington:

And that's the difference in belief. And the other day we had a conversation with someone and I was like everything he's telling me I already know and my teammate goes. That's because you do. Why are you trying to go to someone else when you know it all in? And we laugh about that because it's like you're right, like I'm really great at planning sometimes.

Jacob Brown:

Right.

Lisa Tarkington:

But it's the action, it's the stepping on the stage not saying like OK, like it's important to have the best keynote that you can, but the real step is getting on stage and doing something about it Absolutely.

Jacob Brown:

Analysis, paralysis kills so many dreams. There are so many people that plan and plan and plan and never take the action. I talk a lot about manifesting right. Manifesting is thinking, an idea, believing it can be true, taking action to make it true but ultimately expecting it to be true right.

Jacob Brown:

Having that trust, having that belief that it's actually going to happen, and even from this podcast, you had an idea, you took action, you found your way to it and it's an amazing podcast and it's only because you took that first step and trusted your experience that you've had up until that point.

Lisa Tarkington:

Yeah, well, and I don't know about you, but as you were saying that, I was literally thinking about like when I took the leaps. Right and like and I'm laughing inside, being like I had a plan but, like who thought I could like right like I had. I didn't overthink it.

Jacob Brown:

Right.

Lisa Tarkington:

And I think that that's the difference. Sometimes, when I make decisions, I thought of every scenario, overthought it, where I literally said this yesterday to someone in a keynote. I said you can literally give yourself logic to every question or every answer and be like, see, this is why I can't do it and I've done that.

Lisa Tarkington:

And I'm assuming everybody does that- you know, and so that's where we get caught up in this, like well, I have too much fear, or all of these things. And so, when that fear still get caught up in this, like well, I have too much fear, or all of these things, and so when that fear still comes up for you, what do you do?

Jacob Brown:

When that fear comes up for me, I do two things, and you just mentioned it, right, you either find a way or you find excuses. There is no in between. You find a way or you find excuses. And you know I'm always a big proponent of learning to know when to say no, right, and when to say it's time to quit and move on Right. Maybe this wasn't going to work. Yeah, what did I learn from this? Yeah, and move on Right, and that's OK, giving yourself permission that it's OK that things don't always have to work.

Jacob Brown:

I was talking to my son the other day. He's 17. And I was letting him know. I said, caden, if you think about some of the moguls that you know, right, some of the things they've started, and for a while it was really good. Right, it was all on MTV, it was on Shark Tank, and it was great for like two or three years, and then it kind of fizzled out. Yeah, right, but that idea never left and they moved to something else. I said that should give you the opportunity and the permission that everything doesn't have to last forever. It can last for moments in time, right, yeah, even if you think of the greatest presidents of the United States. They only served in the history of the United States for four to eight years.

Lisa Tarkington:

Yeah, yes.

Jacob Brown:

Right, but that doesn't mean the impact doesn't carry Right. So that's that's something that I am trying to give myself permission for. Right Is even if something doesn't work. I tried. I can say I tried and I learned from it.

Lisa Tarkington:

Yeah, change is hard. Yes, change is really hard and it's scary. And what you're saying, too, is like I am thinking back to my 20s, where I made lots of decisions that I was like, oh man, what was I thinking? But I let go of relationships that didn't serve me anymore. Like I had that fear of like what if I'm never with this person forever? Right Well then I wouldn't have my husband.

Jacob Brown:

Exactly.

Lisa Tarkington:

Right. If I would have stayed in the corporate world and just hung on just a little bit longer, we wouldn't be sitting here today.

Jacob Brown:

Exactly.

Lisa Tarkington:

And so, like, what I'd love for the audience to think about is like, when is a moment that you let go of something, and then what happened?

Jacob Brown:

Yes.

Lisa Tarkington:

Right, because that's when you can really check yourself and realize oh my gosh, I did overcome fear.

Jacob Brown:

Yes.

Lisa Tarkington:

Those little things that kind of stick into our head. I don't know if you have anything else with that.

Jacob Brown:

I do One thing that helps me and helps other people overcome fear. There's a short story, and I know you might have heard this, but the old Chinese farmer that once lost his horse and all the villagers came around.

Jacob Brown:

They said we're so sorry, that's bad fortune. And the Chinese farmer simply replied maybe the next day. The Chinese farmer's horse returned with seven wild horses. All the villagers came around. They said that's great fortune, isn't it? He says maybe the next day the Chinese farmer's son takes out one of the wild horses to try to tame it, he's thrown off the horse's back, breaks his leg. All the villagers come around. You know what they said that's bad fortune, isn't it?

Jacob Brown:

To which the Chinese farmer simply replied maybe the next day, the Chinese emperor ordered all able-bodied men to go to war, because they were going to war with a neighboring country. In that war, many men were killed and many were maimed, but the Chinese farmer's son was saved because his leg was broken and he couldn't fight.

Jacob Brown:

All the villagers came around and they said you know, that's a great fortune your son was saved. To which the Chinese farmer simply replied maybe, great fortune your son was saved, to which the Chinese farmer simply replied maybe. In China, whenever anything bad happens, they always say sai wing shi ma. Sai wing shi ma means remember the old man that once lost his horse. Because the old Chinese farmer that lost his horse understood something. Sometimes good things are going to happen to you, but they come with a blessing, or come with a curse, and sometimes bad things happen, but they come with a blessing. He understood that life was not happening to him, so he never had to fear. He understood it wasn't happening to him, but it was actually happening for him.

Lisa Tarkington:

I got chills listening to that again. I knew the story but like man, it gets me every time.

Jacob Brown:

So, as you go through your life and you're fearful about certain things, understand that even if it's bad or even if it's good, it's happening for you and, ultimately, for your good.

Lisa Tarkington:

Yeah, and you made me think of two things. We are really good at playing victim mindset.

Jacob Brown:

Oh yeah.

Lisa Tarkington:

I could tell you all the things happening to me, right, like I can play victim really easy who can't Right. All the things happening to me, right Like I can play victim really easy, who can't right. But when you flip that mindset and you change that, I will tell anybody your life is completely in a more healthier, positive way when you get out of that victim mindset.

Lisa Tarkington:

It also helps with your imposter syndrome. It helps you with fear. It helps you with all of those things. And you know, recent I shouldn't say recently, about six months ago I was going through some changes and I was like I don't know if I'm going to make it Like have this moment like I don't know if I'm going to make it, and called up my coaching friend, cause we all help each other out give each other advice. And she goes. What's the worst thing that could happen?

Jacob Brown:

Wow.

Lisa Tarkington:

And I was like everything I've built could fall apart. And she was like what's the best thing that could happen? I was like we just rock it, I'm like have all these things, she goes okay, so what's really going to happen? And so then it was that moment of like okay, let's be realistic, let's not go, it's so easy for our minds to tell ourselves all these stories of all the bad that's going to happen.

Lisa Tarkington:

But like, I'm not going to let that happen, Right, Like I remember during COVID, I had left my job, was doing my nonprofit full time and I was like what did God? What did you just? Do Like like the world shut down. And I, my mom, said to me on the phone what are you going to do? And I was like and I just sobbed and I said I can't give this up.

Jacob Brown:

This is too important.

Lisa Tarkington:

She goes okay, find a way and I did Right. But like that's the difference, where, like I wanted to, but like worst case, I had to move back in with my parents. Right Like okay, worst case, like I still have people that love me, that would have taken me in right. I'm very blessed for that Best case. It rocks it. Okay, what really is going to be like. I'm going to have to grind for a little bit longer and guess what. That's actually what was real right.

Jacob Brown:

And so.

Lisa Tarkington:

I like love to remind myself that, because it's like how do you do worst case, best case scenario, when you're having fear, to be like, okay, what's really going to happen?

Jacob Brown:

Which is tough, tough. Yeah, one one guy that I I watch. His name is myron golden. I I watch and listen to him all the time. He's an absolutely incredible speaker and he has a huge podcast. He's doing videos and lives all the time on youtube. If you haven't heard of him, it's myron golden. Please check him out.

Jacob Brown:

But one thing that he says is that he does not allow himself even the opportunity to think anything outside of success. He won't even allow himself to think a bad scenario Right, even if it happens. He manifests the way that he hoped for, but he doesn't allow his mind to even think or go to what if it doesn't work right. And we have that opportunity. We can have that opportunity. One of my favorite speakers is Chris Gardner, who the movie the Pursuit of Happiness was about, and my favorite quote is speak what you seek until you see what you've said. Right, you and I have known each other for years and we both have talked about the things that we want to do in our lives. We've talked about those things, we've put those things into action and guess what? Both of us are doing them.

Lisa Tarkington:

Yeah, which is insane when you look back and you're like, how am I going to get there?

Jacob Brown:

Yeah, how am I going to climb that tree and we're like sitting here together right now. I'm like we kind of are starting to climb it right Exactly, and it's not easy.

Lisa Tarkington:

No.

Jacob Brown:

We've had to grind, but we've spoken the things that we sought and we're going after them. And if anyone doesn't hear anything else, if there's something you want in this life, you have to speak it, you have to seek it and you have to expect it.

Lisa Tarkington:

Yeah, I love that. And I'm going to go back to a moment. It was two years ago. I had a rough day and I remember calling you and saying like, oh man, this was tough. I don't know if that workshop went well and you had gone through. We were able to relate on a few different things and I don't think people realize, like when you can relate to someone else who's also on a track that you're going to.

Lisa Tarkington:

It's like oh, you feel that way too right. It kind of takes that fear down a little bit because you're like everybody's human.

Jacob Brown:

Everyone is human.

Lisa Tarkington:

Everybody's putting their pants on the same way, right? Like everybody's going through it and so that actually like not that I wish that upon anybody- but, it's like we're all figuring it out together, Right. And so to kind of like wrap up today, what is the things? Like? You shared that a little bit of what you'd want someone to know, but like, is there anything else you would leave you at the audience with today?

Jacob Brown:

I would say exactly what you just said. You know, if you follow me anywhere, my title behind my name is human being, because one thing that I've realized is that, no matter how high I climb the ladder in corporate America, no matter how many stages I step on, no matter how much money I make, it doesn't matter. At the end of the day, I just want to be a good human being. And one thing that I've learned is that all human beings, no matter how high they are, no matter what their title is, they all have the same fears, right? We all have that same fear of not feeling good enough, not being accepted, messing up or stumbling over our words.

Jacob Brown:

Everyone you come in contact with I don't care who they are they struggle with those thoughts and they also struggle with imposter syndrome, right? So some of the tools we've given you guys today, I want you to understand that we're working those tools. Those people you might look up to are also working those tools because they too are susceptible to fear imposter syndrome not feeling good enough and feeling as though they might either mess up or miss the mark. So just know that they're human too. They put their pants on one leg at a time they bleed and they cry. They think, just like you do.

Lisa Tarkington:

Amen. And so how can people find you if they want to connect with you?

Jacob Brown:

Yep, if you want to find me, I'm official Jake Brown on Instagram, my website is failforwardbrowncom and my phone number is 248-805-6093. If you want to text or call me, I am here and I'm willing to serve.

Lisa Tarkington:

Awesome. Well, thank you, Jacob, for being on the podcast. I just love chatting with you. And so thanks for all you do for others.

Jacob Brown:

Thank you as well, Lisa. I hope you have a great day and thanks again for bringing me.

Lisa Tarkington:

Yeah, thanks. So thanks so much for tuning into the Confident Podcast today. It was such an amazing opportunity to talk about imposter syndrome and overcoming fear, and your support means the world to me. So if you enjoyed today's episode, please DM me at theconfidentpodcast on Instagram to let me know what you thought of it and make sure that you subscribe to our YouTube channel to stay updated. You know, if today also resonated with you and you want to go deeper, please reach out to me. I'd love to support you on your journey.

Lisa Tarkington:

I know that imposter syndrome comes up a lot. I know that fear, failure, fear of success all of these different fears can really stop us from moving forward, and so that's where I come in to support you on your journey. Please DM me, please email me at lisa, at lead, confidentlyorg and in any way. Also, you can connect with me on LinkedIn, because I want to make sure that you know that you are supported on your journey. So let's overcome imposter syndrome and the fear of failure or fear in general. Let's overcome those things together and, like I always say at the end of any podcast, continue to spread love and kindness to everybody that you meet, and that includes yourself. Thank you, have a great day. Thank you for joining me on this episode of the Confident Podcast.

Lisa Tarkington:

If today's episode resonated with you, head over to leadconfidentlyorg for today's show notes, along with discounts to our services. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button, leave a review and follow us on Instagram and YouTube at the Confident Podcast. Your feedback means the world to me and it helps more people discover the show. And hey, if you're feeling inspired to dive deeper, let's connect. You can find me on Instagram at LisaTarkingtonOfficial. Drop me a message and let's explore how I can support your journey to confidence and leadership. Remember, you have the power to choose confidence every single day. Keep showing up, keep striving and keep believing in your potential. I'm cheering you on and I'll see you next time.

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